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Beaconsfield Oldtimers Hockey Association
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BOHA Announces BLOCKBUSTER Trades
In a historic move, BOHA today announces a record seven player blockbuster trades between five teams. As announced by league president Andy Leroux during a press conference attended by reporters from as far as Beaconsfield Boulevard, he described these moves were necessary as attendance at the Team White home rink was declining while the team struggled through the first four games. Echoed by league legal counsel and part time marketing Director Glen Brown, some of the moves are also for strategic marketing. Glen pointed out that having donut king Tim Horton and Dagwood sandwiches, two competitors who have been battling for market shares in the post game food distribution in the same team may not be healthy for the league.
As team captains of each team affected are now scrambling to contact their new players which are in effect for the next game, BOHA news department has published the following trades:
Dan Latreille from Blue to White
Jamie Heward from Red to White
Grant Thomas from White to Blue
Pierre Tardif from White to Red
Eugene Bunis from Green to Gold
Dan Gaudet from Gold to Green
Mike Montagano to spare for Dan LaFrance of Blue until he returns
Cheers,
Field Reporter
Players On Edge Waiting For Blockbuster Trades
September 17, 2008
With week 4 games completed, the biggest topic circulating among the players is the supplemental draft soon to happen. For the first time in a year, news leaked out that as much as eight players from five teams and one Team White 2029 draft pick, likely to be Digiacomo junior who is currently with the Lakeshore Espoir AAA midget program will be traded. BOHA draft committee members are busy looking through each player’s contract while some are holding out for little quirks like more dressing room space, more beverages and better water bottles. VP on ice Mike Rourke, who has to validate the final draft, had a preview of the proposal and all indication is these blockbuster trades will be announced soon via satellite in the tournament social room during BOHA 10th Anniversary Charity Tournament.
Team Red, positioned to finish fifth when the season started, continues to shine. With four breakaway goals and a stopped penalty shot, Red managed to squeak by Team Green 5-4, who abandoned their shinny hockey style and out chances Team Red most of the game. Led by Team Red’s roadrunner Jeff Jones two goals, Team Red is now under heavy scrutiny to give up a top notch unrestricted free agent or lose their beverage quota. In a secret ballot meeting, it is reported that Team Red voted 14-0 with abstention by Red’s top notch defenceman Jamie Heward to keep the quota. Team Green, short by a goal on most of their losses, is just a goal or two short from stabilizing the team, according to Green’s Air hog Mike Rourke, boss of the Balancing Committee.
BOHA’s strongest teams Blue and Black, show why they have the most players under reviewed. Without some of the top players, these two teams still exhibited a classic game until a few late goals allowed Team Blue to win 7-4. Surprisingly, both teams voted 29-1 to keep their beverage quotas as well to the chagrin of that single player who questions Team Blue loyalty program initiated by Dan Latreille.
Team White, under budget and under staffed, pulled some rabbits out of the hat and showed Team Gold that their 3-2 win is no fluke despite missing team motivator and Viagra king Claude Lapointe, who is out searching for post game meal sponsors. Gold, who may be playing the possum game, rested their two golden D’s, player agent nephew Scott Meehan, Chicago draft pick Ralph Difiore and green laced wonder boy Pascal Gagnon just to bring the team down a notch, at least till the draft passes by.
Who's on the block? Who's packing? Tune in or visit BOHA 10th Anniversary Social Room for the blockbuster trade announcement !!!!!
Cheers,
Field Reporter
TEAMS SHELVE KEY PLAYERS TO AVOID SUPPLEMENTAL DRAFT SCOUTS
September 10, 2008
With one more game to go before the annual ritual of balancing of the teams, last night games saw a number of teams shelving key players to keep them under the radar eyes of the Balancing Committee.
The two early favorites to be in the championship final show why they are the elite teams of BOHA. With key players shelved away, Team Blue and Team Gold played well enough but allowing Gold to skate away with a 5-4 win. Feeling safe from a roster review, but with the game so close, both teams are still vulnerable to next week’s supplemental draft.
Team White, sponsored by Lac St. Louis Lead Foundry, a subsidiary of St. Lawrence Cement Inc., lived up to their sponsor’s name. With lead blades and cement hands, Team White just could not keep up with Team Red, who now has a record of 2-1 after the 6-1 win. In danger of having their roster reviewed as well, Team Rep and raffle ticket specialist Peter McCusker attempted to deflect the attention by inviting Team White to the post game celebration of Maple Leafs special wrapped smoked meat and potato salad with cole slaw tray, courtesy of Red’s Kurt Legler, who celebrated his first career four goal game. With 7 goals in the early season, Kurt has one more goal than the entire Team White season output prompting Team White’s motivator and Viagra prescriber, Dr. Claude Lapointe, to seek guidance from Kurt how to get his team up for the game.
With a 3-0 record, Team Black had no trouble getting up for their game as they let Team Green to play with them for a period and a half before closing them off with a last shot win strategy to down Team Green 6-5. Team Green, a pre-season favorite to win it all, may be playing possum until the critical balance week goes by.
BOHA Bulletin:
BOHA has cancelled all vacation entitlements of the Balancing Committee members until week 6. Field Reporter has inside information from the Head of the Balancing Committee that as much as six players may be involved in the supplemental draft. However, the final draft validation process will go through a very stringent review protocol to satisfy the three segments within BOHA; those that want their team to win 10-1, those that want 2-2 games and those that want to play shinny hockey.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
BOHA Goalie Union Settles On “Net Differential” Package
September 3, 2008
With BOHA new rule of mandatory retirement after eight goals applied last week, the goalie union threat of a massive walkout was averted in a last minute agreement when chief negotiator Ted Jackson accepted the “Net Differential with two lifelines” rule from BOHA VP COUNSEL Glen Brown. With the new package somewhat settled, the first game of week 2 got underway.
Team Black is establishing itself as the early powerhouse taking advantage of four “Training camp” type goals to defeat Team Red 6-3. Red’s team rep and raffle tickets specialist Peter McCusker insisted that his team will be in real season game shape once the team starts focusing after BOHA 10th Anniversary Invitational tournament which was heartily endorsed by Tournament VP Terry O’Neill. With the win, Black is now the only undefeated team and looking good.
Mentally exhausted after the grueling negotiation, Team Green goalie Ted Jackson is the first goalie to use a lifeline as Team Gold showed no mercy scoring 6 goals in the second period after a tight first period and winning 9-2. Unfortunately for Ted, with eight saves and nine goals against, the net differential of minus one forced him to use a lifeline. In a press release issued through his new agent Ron Burla, Ted, who also moonlights as the spares coordinator, serves notice to the rest of the team reps that he will now have the first crack when calling on replacement players.
Upset that BOHA new president Andrew Leroux ratified the goalie deal, Team Blue goalie David Wood requested that Andrew stay away from a pre-game rally around his net. Trying not to upset the goalie further, Andrew requested team muscleman and former New England Patriot Joe Marchildon to sit with him on the bench till cooler heads prevail. All animosity soon disappears when Leroux righted the situation by scoring four goals to down Team White 5-4. Team White, the only team without a win, is not panicking yet, as the 1994 Team White started in similar fashion and went on to win the championship.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
BOHA SEASON OPENS WITH SHOCKED RETIREMENT OF RON BURLA
August 27, 2008
With the game times shifted and the change to two periods, BOHA started the 2008-09 season with the announcement by Ron Burla’s agent Don Meehan’s Cousin Scott that after 25 years of service, he is hanging up his pads for good. Burla is leaving the league with many distinguish records among them, most playoffs appearances, most playoffs championships, most broken sticks and on and on. In the post game interview, Ron confided that over the years, the puck is starting to get smaller and the post to post lateral moves are taking 3 seconds longer to get to and with the impending reduction of pads size, his knees will be exposed to Wayne Hart’s howitzers. From the Bohaniens to Ron, BEST OF LUCK to your new basket weaving career!!
With renewed energy and high hopes, Team Green and Team Blue opened the season with a fast paced game where both goalies were still trying to shake off the rust. Spotting Blue with a 3-0 lead, Green soon took over by scoring six late goals to win 6-5 and established the league’s first record of most goals in the second period of a two period game and spoiling Blue’s Chris Wright initiation as the new Team Rep.
The second game saw Yves Quenneville broke his own record as Team White longest serving player. Celebrating his 20th straight year with the White and the only player who claims all other teams wear grey jerseys, Yves is slowly mentoring his new Team Rep Bob Spencer into the new role. The learning process will take just a bit longer as Team Black, with pea grower Marc Lemery as the new Team Rep, controlled the game from the start to give his team a 5-3 win.
The finale game of the night but the finale for Ron Burla was a no show for Team Gold both physically and mentally. Team Red, equipped with some replacement players and the help of Gold’s depleted defense corps, sealed Burla’s decision to retire for good pumping in 8 goals and a 8-1 win.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
For a complete schedule listing, click here!
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