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SOMETHING EVERY PARENT SHOULD READ!!!
Your Role As A Little League Parent
Local Little Leagues are entirely volunteer organizations. Each league depends on adults like you to organize and conduct every aspect. Not only do adults serve as administrators, volunteer coaches, and umpires they also help with field maintenance, fund-raising, concessions, and numerous other special projects.
Your willingness to exchange time and effort for your child's benefit and enjoyment is very important to the functioning of your local Little League. Cheering your daughter or son on from the stands is one important way to be involved, but we invite you to do even more by volunteering to help run your local Little League program.
Without a doubt, Little League is a family affair that gives parents and children a common ground for spending time together. Whether you are coaching the players, selling popcorn to the fans, or bringing soda for the team after the game, your family will enjoy being a part of Little League in your community. Most of all, your son or daughter will appreciate the benefits of your enthusiasm and involvement in his or her activities.
When winning is kept in perspective, there is room for fun in the pursuit of victory or more accurately, the pursuit of victory is fun. With your leadership Little League can help your child learn to accept responsibilities, accept others and most of all, accept her - or himself.
Keeping Winning in Perspective
Are you able to keep winning in perspective? You might answer with a confident yes, but will you be able to do so when it is your child who is winning or losing, when your child is treated a bit roughly by someone on the other team, or when the umpire makes a judgment against your child? Parents are sometimes unprepared for the powerful emotions they experience when watching their sons and daughters compete.
One reason that parents' emotions run to high is that they want their children to do well; it reflects on them. They also may believe that their children's failures are their own. Parents need to realize that dreams of glory they have for their youngsters are not completely unselfish, but they are completely human. Parents who are aware of their own pride, who are even capable of being amused by their imperfections, can keep themselves well under control.
Being a Model of Good Sportsmanship
Flying off the handle at games or straining relations with the coach or other parents creates a difficult situation for your child. Just as you don't want your daughter or son to embarrass you, don't embarrass your Little Leaguer.
It's no secret that kids imitate their parents. In addition, they absorb the attitudes they think lie behind their parents' actions. As you go through the Little League season with your child, be a positive role model. How can you expect your child to develop a healthy perspective about competing and winning if you display an unhealthy one? Remember Little league is supposed to be a fun experience for your child, and one in which he or she will learn some sport skills. Winning will take care of itself.
Some parents seem to abandon good principles of child rearing when their child is participating in sports. However, just as your child's home, school, and religious environment affect the type of person he or she will be, so does the sport environment especially when your child is young. Remember this:
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with praise, they learn to like themselves. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they have to have a goal. If children live with honesty, they learn what trust is.
Note: From "Great Projects Report," Baltimore Bulletin of Education, 1965-1966, 42 (3).
Parents' Checklist for Success
Here is a list of questions you should consider when your child begins playing Little league. If you can honestly answer yes to each one, you will find little trouble ahead.
Can you share your son or daughter?
This means trusting the coach to guide your child's Little League experiences. It means accepting the coach's authority and the fact that he or she may gain some of your child's admiration that once was directed toward you.
Can you admit your shortcomings?
Sometimes we slip up as parents, our emotions causing us to speak before we think. We judge our child too hastily, perhaps only to learn later the child's actions were justified. It takes character for parents to admit they made a mistake and to discuss it with their child.
Can you accept your child's disappointments?
Sometimes being a parent means being a target for a child's anger and frustration. Accepting your child's disappointment also means watching your play poorly during a game when all of his or her friends succeed, or not being embarrassed into anger when your 10-year-old breaks into tears after a failure. Keeping your frustration in check will help you guide your son or daughter through disappointments.
Can you accept your child's triumphs?
This sound much easier than it often is. Some parents, not realizing it, may become competitive with their daughter or son, especially if the youngster receives considerable recognition. When a child plays well in a game, parents may dwell on minor mistakes, describe how an older brother or sister did even better, or boast about how they played better many years ago.
Can you give your child some time?
Some parents are very busy, even though they are interested in their child's participation and want to encourage it. Probably the best solution is never to promise more than you can deliver. Ask about your child's Little league experiences, and make every effort to watch at least some games during the season.
Can you let your child make her or his own decisions?
Decisions making is an essential part of young person's development, and it is a real challenge to parents. It means offering suggestions and guidance but finally, within reasonable limits, letting the child go his or her own way. All parents have ambitions for their children, but parents must accept the fact that they cannot mold their children's lives. Little League offers parents a minor initiation into the major process of letting go.
Throughout the guide Dr. Martens discusses your responsibilities as a Little League parent. Here we summarize the major responsibilities for you to review.
Parents Responsibilities
1. Let your child choose to play Little League and to quit if he or she dose not enjoy baseball. Encourage participation, but don't pressure.
2. Understand what your child wants from participating in Little League and provide a supportive atmosphere for achieving these goals.
3. Set limits on your child's participation in baseball. You need to determine when she or he is physically and emotionally ready to play and to insure that the conditions for playing are safe.
4. Make certain your child's coach is qualified to guide your child through the Little League experience.
5. Keep winning in perspective by remembering Athletes First, Winning Second. Instill this perspective in your child.
6. Help your child set realistic goals about his or her own performance so success is guaranteed.
7. Help your child understand the experiences associated with competitive sports so she or he can learn the valuable lessons sports can teach.
8. Discipline your when he or she misbehaves, breaks the rules, or is uncooperative or uncontrollable.
Dr. Richard Stratton
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In many circles, concern about stress placed on youth sport participants seems to be the most frequent topic of discussion when youth sports is mentioned.
Is there stress in youth sports? Of course there is! Not only do the athletes experience stress, but so do the coaches, the parents, the officials, and the administrators.
What is stress? Stress is produced when someone feels that their physical and/or psychological well-being is threatened. They perceive that they may be harmed in some way.
Is stress negative? Not necessarily.
Actually, there are two types of stress:
Eustress, which is pleasant stress.
Distress, which is potentially harmful stress.
Many of you may now be thinking, how can there be pleasant or pleasurable stress?
Competitive sports activities are a source of both eustress and distress, as are any types of competitive activity. We might argue, for example, that the video game industry exists to provide a source of eustress! The enjoyment of competition is reported by young athletes as one of the top three reasons for which they participate in youth sports. Why, then, does there seem to be such a concern about stress in youth sports?
One perception appears to be that youth sports are more distressful than other activities in which children participate. Fortunately, this is not the case.
Simon and Martens, in a study reported in the 1979 issue of Journal of Sport Psychology, found that youth sports participation produced state anxiety levels in the same range as other typical competitive youth activities such as band and classroom tests. In fact, of the nineteen activities they examined, band solos produced the highest level of state anxiety.
Within the various sport activities studied, individual sports produced the highest levels of state anxiety, followed by small group team sports (such as basketball), with the large group team sports resulting in the least state anxiety.
This is actually a fairly logical finding. When an individual feels personal responsibility for the outcome, they are likely to experience greater stress than someone who is part of a group/team which shares the responsibility for the outcome of the activity.
This is not to say that distress is not a problem in youth sports. Stress has the potential for making youth sport participation an unpleasant experience for the children, and for coaches and parents also. The more we understand about stress in youth sports, the less likely it is to result in significant problems.
Simon, J.A. & Martens, R.(1979) Children's anxiety in sport and nonsport evaluative activities. Journal of Sport Psychology, 1, 160-169.
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Dr. Richard Stratton is the editor of Coaching Youth Sports, an electronic newsletter for coaches, athletes, and parents. He is an Associate Professor of Health Promotion and Physical Education at Virginia Tech, where he has been since 1977. Specializing in the psychological aspects of youth sports, his primary interests are the developmental aspects of information processing, motivation and stress in youth sport participants. Prior to completing his Doctoral studies at Florida State, Stratton taught physical education and coached four sports at Appling County (GA) Middle School.
HOW TO APPROACH THE COACH
PARENT'S PERSPECTIVES
Approaching your Child's Coach
by Richard K. Stratton
CYS has received numerous e-mail notes from parents asking how to approach their child's coach or otherwise deal with a problem involving the coach. Sometimes the problem is just with the one child and the coach, other times is involves several athletes. The major concern seems to be how to discuss this problem with the coach without creating problems for the child, such as retribution from the coach. Hopefully your child's coach held a preseason meeting with all the team athletes and their parents. During this meeting the coach should have discussed his or her coaching philosophy and coaching methods, among other things. This information should help you understand why your child's coaches are doing many of the things they are doing. Occasionally, however, issues or questions may arise during the season that you might feel need to be addressed by the coach. The most common issue seems to be the perception that a child is not getting enough playing time. Other issues raised include the coaches playing their own, less skilled children ahead of other more skilled children on the team, coaches who curse and are otherwise verbally abusive of the children, coaches who can not or do not teach the skills needed to play the sport, and coaches who make promises to kids but fail to follow through on these. The Sport Parent (Human Kinetics Publishers, 1994) also lists as possible problems: being subjected to too much pressure, receiving only criticism from the coach for mistakes rather than encouragement, being made fun of by peers with no response from the coach, and being injured and not properly attended to.
What should you do when one or more of these (or other) problems seem to be occurring? First, you need to determine if it is a real problem. Your child may be the best indicator of this. Does your child dread going to practices or games? Has your child talked about dropping out without expressing any particular reason? Does your child frequently come home from practices unhappy? You need to talk to your child and try to determine what the actual problem seems to be from their perspective. Remember, they may be reluctant to talk about it because they are afraid of what might happen if you go talk to the coach. You should also try to attend a few practices and contests to observe and determine what is actually going on. The problem might not be with the coach. If you believe that there is a problem with the coach you should talk to him or her. If the problem involves more than one athlete, the parents of the other athletes should be included in the discussions with the coach. Make an appointment to meet with the coach, but not at practices or games. Explain the problem to the coach and ask for the coach's perspective on the situation. Listen carefully to the coach's response. Discuss any differences between your perspective and the coach's viewpoint. Try to come to an agreement about how the problem will be resolved. If you and the coach are unable to resolve the problem, you may have to take the problem to the league or organization's administrator. In any of these meetings you must control your emotions and maintain a positive approach. You are trying to improve the youth sports experience for your child and the rest of the team too.
Resource:The Sport Parent (1994), available from Human Kinetics Publishers through their web site, has a nice chapter on communicating with your child's coach.
This article provided by Dr. Richard Stratton, Health and Physical Education Program, Virginia Tech
