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How do we measure player development in America?
US Youth Soccer Coaching Education Department
There are already a multitude of articles saying that winning and losing are not the correct measures of success in youth soccer, instead we should measure the development of the players. OK, perfect. The next obvious follow-up question then is, “How do we measure the development of a single player?” If US Youth Soccer can answer this question in a way that is helpful to committed coaches and understandable to parents with limited playing experience (and paying the money to have their kids involved), they may be able to turn this overly organized youth soccer system of ours into a much more effective development program.
Cary McCormick
Arlington, VA
Indeed how do we measure player development? Too often in America a professional sport model is used in measuring youth sports success. Youth soccer is not immune to this misapplied standard. For soccer the situation is made worse by a desire of many adults to use measuring tools from other sports. In fact it is maddening to many adults that soccer is not as black and white as with some sports in judging successful play. Many team sports played in our nation are statistically driven and coach centered. Soccer is neither of those! Indeed just like the Laws of the Game our sport has many shades of grey within it. As a player centered sport some coaches
become disillusioned as they learn that they are the ‘guide on the side’ and not the ‘sage on the stage’. Too many soccer coaches bring a “Pattonesque” attitude to the youth sport environment. This coach-centered perspective has been handed down to us from other sports and coaching
styles of past generations. In many sports the coach makes crucial decisions during the competition. In soccer players make the primary decisions during the match. The coach’s decisions are of secondary
importance. The ego-centric personality will find coaching soccer troublesome. The other significant group of adults at a youth soccer match is parents. They too often have their view of the match colored by the professional model and by a view of "coaching" that is portrayed in the media. Although it is changing, the majority of parents watching their kids play soccer have never played the game. In fact the statistics show that most of today’s parents never played any team sport. So their only exposure on how to measure sporting success is gleaned from the sports media. The sports media predominately report on adult teams at the college and professional levels. These adult measurements of team performance should not and cannot be applied to youth sports. The analogy can be made to a youngster’s academic development in preparation for work in the adult business world. While the child is in primary and secondary school the corporate world measurements of success are not applied. Those business assessments are not yet appropriate because the school-aged student does not yet have the tools to compete in the adult business environment. The knowledge and skills to be a competitor in business are still being taught and learned. This holds true in soccer as well!
Soccer is an adult game designed by adults for adults to play. Adults enjoy the game so much that we have shared it with our children. Yet adults err when we bring our adult performance and outcome based thinking into the developing player’s world. Alright fine you say. So how do we measure success? How do parents know if the team coach is doing a good job of teaching soccer to the players? How does the novice coach know if the kids are growing within the game? Well let’s use the facts, from a study by the Youth Sports Institute, of what players want from their sports experience as a way to measure success.
“TRUTHS” about children and sports
Fun is pivotal - if it’s not “fun,” young people won’t play a sport
Skill development is a crucial aspect of fun - it is more important than winning even among the best athletes
The most rewarding challenges of sports are those that lead to self-knowledge
Intrinsic rewards (self-knowledge that grows out of self-competition) are more important in creating lifetime athletes than are extrinsic rewards (victory or attention from others)
During childhood allow the kids to have a good time playing the game while instilling the passion to love playing soccer on their own. Only a passion for the game can lead to success. “Success is something players take ownership of and in time it becomes personally meaningful. Success is a process, not a product. The process of doing one’s best is the key to success. The determining criterion of success is whether a player gave his or her best that day. Doing one’s best is the most important statement a player can make about the importance of an activity and the meaning it has. With years of experience comes self-knowledge and self-awareness. So
players learn over time what it means to do your best, to give 100%.”
Motives for Participation in Youth Sport
Reasons for Participating in Non-school Sports (study of 3,900 7th to 12th graders)
Boys Girls
1. To have fun 1. To have fun
2. To do something I’m good at 2. To stay in shape
3. To improve my skills 3. To get exercise
4. For the excitement of competition 4. To improve my skills
5. To stay in shape 5. To do something I am good at
6. For the challenge of competition 6. To learn new skills
7. To get exercise 7. For the excitement of competition
8. To learn new skills 8. To play as part of a team
9. To play as part of a team 9. To make new friends
10. To go to a higher level of competition
10. For the challenge of competition
Truths & Motives for Participation
1. The motive to have fun and to enjoy participating in sport.
2. The motive to learn new skills and to improve on existing sports skills.
3. The motive to become physically fit and to enjoy good health
4. The motive to enjoy the challenge and excitement of sports participation and competition.
5. The motive to enjoy a team atmosphere and to be with friends
SUGGESTIONS FOR PARENTS
Remember the “truths” and talk to your children with them in mind.
After a game, ask questions about “fun,” “skill improvement,” “learning experiences” and “having a good time with friends.”
See yourself as part of the team and supportive of the coach; avoid setting up a conflict in your child’s mind between his or her parents and coaches.
If you want to affect the coaching, volunteer to help.
Develop perspective: remember what you could do at your children’s ages; don’t judge them by what you can do now. Kids will not become great players overnight.
Develop an understanding of what your children want from sports—not all children want the same things. Determine if they want to be involved at all
Measurements of Success in Youth Soccer
Short-Term
FUN … do the players smile and laugh? Do the players look forward to playing? The first question from the player’s family should be, “Did you have fun today?”
Fair Play … does a player demonstrate by words and actions a sense of sportsmanship?
Laws of the Game … do the players know and follow the rules of soccer?
Health and Fitness … are the players physically fit enough to meet the fitness demands of the game? Are they developing good nutrition and hydration habits befitting an athlete?
Friendships … are the players creating new friends within the team and with players from other teams?
Skills … are the players demonstrating a growing number of ball skills and are they gradually becoming more proficient in those skills?
Long-Term
Commitment … how do the players answer when asked at the end of a game, “Did you try your best?”
Roles in the Team … more important than learning a position, are the players learning about positioning? Knowing where the right back or the center forward spot is on the field is important, yet learning how to move tactically within the game is far more important. Do all of the players get exposed to playing all of the positions?
Leadership … are players being given the opportunity to take on leader roles and responsibilities?
Are the coaches and team managers teaching leadership?
Tactics … are the players experimenting with new tactics in matches? The coaches must teach new tactics to the players in training sessions and then allow them to try out the tactics in a match, regardless of how that might affect the outcome!
Retention … do the players come back year after year?
Retention is recognized as also a short term measure of success in youth soccer and developing well adjusted citizens is another long term measure of success in youth sports. In a 2007 US Youth Soccer survey 96% of parents responded that one of the benefits they desire for youth soccer to provide to their child is fun. 97% of the parents surveyed feel the reason their child participates in youth soccer is fun.
Sports can be classified as early specialization or late specialization sports. Late specialization sports, including athletics, combative sports, cycling, racquet sports, rowing and all team sports require a generalized approach to early training. For these sports, the emphasis during the first two phases of training should be on the development of general motor and technical-tactical skills.
LATE SPECIALIZATION MODEL
1. FUNdamental Stage
2. Learning to Train
3. Training to Train
4. Training to Compete
5. Training to Win
6. Retirement/Retainment
Stage 1 – THE FUNDAMENTAL STAGE
Age: 6-9
Objective: Learn all fundamental movement skills (build overall motor skills)
Stage 2 – THE LEARNING TO TRAIN STAGE
Age: 8-12
Objective: Learn all fundamental soccer skills (build overall sports skills)
Stage 3 – THE TRAINING TO TRAIN STAGE
Age: 11-16
Objectives: Build the aerobic base, build strength towards the end of the phase and further develop sport-specific skills (build the “engine” and consolidate soccer specific skills)
Stage 4 – THE TRAINING TO COMPETE STAGE
Age: 15-18
Objectives: optimize fitness preparation and sport, individual and position-specific skills as well as performance (optimize “engine”, skills and performance)
Stage 5 – THE TRAINING TO WIN STAGE
Age: 17 and older
Objectives: Maximize fitness preparation and sport, individual and position specific skills as well as performance (maximize “engine”, skills and performance)
Stage 6 – THE RETIREMENT / RENTENTION STAGE
Objectives: retain players for coaching, administration, officials, etc
It is certainly the stance of US Youth Soccer to focus more on match performance than outcome; yet this is not to say that players should not strive to win. There’s nothing wrong with winning! Trying to win is desirable and praiseworthy. It means trying your best. Indeed trying
to play your best (match performance) often leads to winning. But not always! Remember the outcome of the game is not a reason why kids play! Players and coaches should diligently work to improve their performance. This is the drive for excellence as opposed to success.
Success does not breed success; it breeds failure. It is failure, which breeds success. If that advice seems patently absurd, think about the careers of many famous winners:
Babe Ruth struck out 1,333 times. In between his strikeouts he hit 714 homeruns.
Martina Navratilova lost twenty-one of her first twenty-four matches against archrival Chris Evert. She resolved to hit more freely on the big points and beat Evert thirty-nine out of their next fifty-seven matches. No woman tennis pro has ever won as many matches or as many tournaments, including a record nine Wimbledon singles titles as Navratilova who retired from professional tennis at age 50.
Abraham Lincoln failed twice in business and was defeated in six state and national elections before being elected president of the United States.
Michael Jordan was cut from his junior high school basketball team, before becoming a sports icon.
Theodor S. Geisel wrote a children’s book that was rejected by twenty-three publishers. The twenty-fourth publisher sold six million copies of it---the first “Dr. Seuss” book---and that book and its successors are still staples of every child’s library. Consider the times when you tried to learn a new game or sport. Did you get it perfect the
first day? Not likely. A former teammate once told us that he did get one sport right the first time he tried it. We asked what he meant and he said, “It was the first day of snow skiing classes. I skied all day long and I didn’t fall down once. I was so elated; I felt so good. So I skied up to the ski instructor, and I told him of my great day. You know what the ski instructor said? He told me, ‘Personally I think you had a lousy day.’ I was stunned. ‘What do you mean lousy day? I thought the objective was to stand up on these boards, not fall down.’ The ski instructor looked
me straight in the eye and replied, ‘Sir, if you’re not falling down, you’re not learning.’” The ski instructor understood that if you can stand up on your skis all day long the first time out, you’re doing only what you already know how to do, not pushing yourself to try any thing new or difficult. If you always play it safe you aren’t going to improve yourself, because when you try to do something you don’t know how to do, you’ll fall down. That’s guaranteed! Nothing is ever done perfectly the first time someone tries it – not in business, not in school and
most certainly not in soccer. The point isn’t to promote failure for failure’s sake, of course. We don’t advocate for a moment that failure ought to be the objective of any endeavor. Instead, we advocate learning. We want American players to be leaders and not look for someone to blame
when mistakes are made while expanding their soccer horizons. Instead ask, “What can be learned from the experience?” Trying new ball skills or new tactics, a new set play or a new formation will cause errors during matches. Yet if the players do not feel they are allowed to try out these new talents in a match when will those talents become a part of their game? The sounds coming from the spectators at a youth match should be cheers for when a player tries something new. Parents can measure their child’s success in soccer by the improving athletic ability of their child, by the growing confidence and self-reliance of the player, by the emergence of refined ball skills, by the opportunity afforded by the coach to play in different positions on the team, by the taking on of leadership and responsibility, by the demonstration of fair play and by the smiles. The parents will know that there is a chance for success when they see the players and coaches striving for excellence!
“There are many people, particularly in sports who think that success and excellence are the same thing and they are not the same thing. Excellence is something that is lasting and dependable and largely within a person’s control. In contrast, success is perishable and is often outside our control… If you strive for excellence, you will probably be successful eventually… people who put excellence in first place have the patience to end up with success… An additional burden for the victim of the success mentality is that he is threatened by the success of others and resents real excellence. In contrast, the person fascinated by quality is excited when he sees it in others.”
Joe Paterno – Penn State football coach – 1990
Striving to improve individual, group and team performance is more important at the youth level than the outcome. Simultaneously players should play to win. Coaches should teach and develop the players as they learn how to win. Parents should support the players and coaches.
Intrinsic success is by its nature more difficult to measure than extrinsic success. A trophy is more tangible to an adult than the exhilaration a child feels while playing soccer. The final measure of success for parents of their child’s soccer experience will require a good deal of patience from the adults. That measurement is the free choice of the child to stay in the game! In soccer circles it is agreed that four groups of adults support the youth game. Parents, coaches, administrators and referees have an equal obligation to the players. That obligation is to
live by the Vision you have just read!
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SCHOLARSHIPS - Sports or Studies
Much has been writing regarding the realities of college scholarships. The NY Times did a three day series on the realities of college athletic scholarships - fact and fiction. Great reading for parents and players who are looking in this direction. Just a few tidbits:
In 2003-4, N.C.A.A. institutions gave athletic scholarships amounting to about 2 percent of the 6.4 million athletes playing those sports in high school four years earlier. Despite the considerable attention paid to sports, the select group of athletes barely registers statistically among the 5.3 million students at N.C.A.A. colleges and universities. The chase for a scholarship has another side that is rarely discussed. Although those athletes who receive athletic aid are viewed as the ultimate winners, they typically find the demands on their time, minds and bodies in college even more taxing than the long journey to get there.There are 6 a.m. weight-lifting sessions, exhausting practices, team meetings, study halls and long trips to games. Their varsity commitments often limit the courses they can take. Athletes also share a frustrating feeling of estrangement from the rest of the student body, which views them as the privileged ones. In this setting, it is not uncommon for first- and second-year athletes to relinquish their scholarships.
“Kids who have worked their whole life trying to get a scholarship think the hard part is over when they get the college money,” said Tim Poydenis, a senior at Villanova receiving $3,000 a year to play baseball. “They don’t know that it’s a whole new monster when you get here. Yes, all the hard work paid off. And now you have to work harder
Excluding the glamor sports of football and basketball, the average N.C.A.A. athletic scholarship is nowhere near a full ride, amounting to $8,707. In sports like baseball or track and field, the number is routinely as low as $2,000. Even when football and basketball are included, the average is $10,409. Tuition and room and board for N.C.A.A. institutions often cost between $20,000 and $50,000 a year.
Scholarships are typically split and distributed to a handful, or even, say, 20, athletes because most institutions do not fully finance the so-called non-revenue sports like soccer, baseball, golf, lacrosse, volleyball, softball, swimming, and track and field. Colleges offering these sports often pay for only five or six full scholarships, which are often sliced up to cover an entire team. Some sports have one or two full scholarships, or none at all.
Men received 57 percent of all scholarship money, but in 11 of the 14 sports with men’s and women’s teams, the women’s teams averaged higher amounts per athlete.
On average, the best-paying sport was neither football nor men’s or women’s basketball. It was men’s ice hockey, at $21,755. Next was women’s ice hockey ($20,540).
The lowest overall average scholarship total was in men’s riflery ($3,608), and the lowest for women was in bowling ($4,899). Baseball was the second-lowest men’s sport ($5,806).
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SPORTS PARENTS - what to know
Issue No. 10 - The issue of playing time….now, by all accounts, this could have easily been the Number One Concern…but I wanted to get into right away…..You have to understand, Mom and Dad, that if your kid goes out for a team - -unless the league stipulates that every kid has to play at least a certain portion of the game - there's no guarantee that your kid is going to play a lot in the game….
That's a cruel harsh reality for the kids - but it's even harder for the parents, especially if you have high expectations for your athlete.
What can you (or your child) do about it? Of course, a meeting with the coach can be helpful….but it doesn't always solve all the problems of playing time….In fact, one of the life lessons you have to teach your youngster is that being talented just isn't enough….you have to be able to show and impress the coach with your desire to want to play….
Issue No. 9 - Parental behavior at the games ---- another key issue, and one that we have covered endlessly on this show….In short, it's as simple as this: Your job is to act like a grown-up at the kids' games - it's not you playing in the game - it's your kid. Your childhood is over - and as an adult, you must understand that if you go nuts at your kids' games, the kids will eventually copy and follow your actions and become just as unsportsmanlike as you are.
Issue No. 8 - Sportsmanship - Again, it's up to you - the parents - to set the record straight….show the kids that you can enjoy the game - win or lose - and still shake the other team's hand….same goes for the ref or ump….you know, it's easy to say "Good game" to the ref after your team has won….it's a lot tougher - and a lot classier - to say "Good game" after your team has lost.
Sportsmanship takes real effort - and while you can certainly encourage your child to compete as best as he or she can, when the game is over, they have to revert to being civil human beings --and so do you!
Issue No. 7 - Do your homework on Travel teams. As a parent, if your kid wants to try out for a travel team, it's your job to check on the team, the coach, and what kind of priorities the coach has for the team. That means checking on playing time, coaching strategies, checking with former players on the team, how cuts are made, and so forth.
Most sports parents only want to see the positive aspects of travel teams - and that's fine…but if you're smart, you'll be watchful of the things that can easily go wrong…
Remember - if you don't look out for your child, who will?
Issue No. 6 - Know how to support and praise your kid - especially when things aren't going well. A loss is tough enough for a kid - he or she doesn't need you doing a post-game analysis on them too.
I've talked about the PGA before - the post-game analysis. Be very careful not to start pointing out to your athlete what they did wrong, or need to improve, right after the game is over. Kids HATE that - and I promise you this - if you do it enough times, your kid will quit rather than endure your post-game grill systems.
Try using the praise sandwich approach whenever you want to give some constructive criticism….and watch your words and tone of voice carefully!
One other note - -Adversity is still a great teacher and motivator….Every young athlete will go through some sort of adversity in their life, and it's at that time that they'll be more responsive to your instruction and ideas….but the key is - They have to come to you - not the other way around!
Issue No. 5 - Be careful of having your child specialize in a sport too early in life Another issue we've debated many times on this show….and of all the professional coaches and athletes that I've discussed this with, Not One has said that a kid ought to play just one sport when they're growing up?
Why? Because playing one sport will lead to burn-out by the time they're 13 or 14…..and even worse, that one sport all year round will transform from being fun to being just a job…
Bottom line? Let your kid play a variety of sports when they're kids….they don't have to start even thinking about specialization until they're 15 or 16….
Issue No. 4 - Don't be in a hurry to show them how you used to play the sport No kid ever wants to have Dad show them how "I used to do this…" The truth is, your child wants to be their own man or woman - and they really aren't that interested in how you performed a certain move or step….what they really want is to develop their own signature moves….
Issue No. 3 - Get a reality check. The stats don't lie….very few kids go on to play college sports….do you think the stats don't apply to your kid?
If the odds are that less than 5% of all high school varsity athletes ever go on to play a collegiate sport, why do so many parents think that their kid is going to be that special one?
It's like a story a hockey parent told me the other day. He said, "Rick, you see all those Moms and Dads in the stands at this hockey game? I said sure. Well, they all think their kid is going to get a college scholarship for hockey….that's the difference between those parents and me - because I know my kid is going to get a scholarship."
Issue No. 2 - Get involved as a coach or assistant coach. Rather than stand on the sidelines at the games and criticize the coaching strategies, if you think you can do better, then offer your services and become either a head coach or assistant coach….once you find yourself on the side of the fence, you'll discover that coaching is a little tougher than you had thought….
And if you can't get coach, then get outside and practice with your child…get involved that way.
Issue No. 1 - Put a smile on your face - let them know they're doing great.
Relax. Enjoy the moment. Take a moment and just look at that youngster of yours on the field or court or ice. Look how they move - how they enjoy chatting with their friends on the team. Sometimes, you might even see them smile because they're enjoying themselves….that's what you should want for your kid.
And so, take a lesson from that. If they're having fun, you learn from their lead….you have fun too….smile….enjoy the game….give the kids a real pat on the back….and their parents and the coach, too….
If you can master this simple philosophy, you'll find that you'll really enjoy youth sports a lot more.
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10 ITEMS TO KEEP YOUR CHILD HAPPIER
1. During car rides to games or practice, kids don't want you to tell them how to do this or that.
("I am not stupid," or "I know how to play the sport I play," are typical responses.)
2. Kids can get psyched for a game without parental help.
("I hate it when my parent says, 'Are you ready? We're going to win,' like they're the one playing." )
3. It's your duty as a parent to sit quietly and watch your kids do wonderful things.
(Kids get bummed out when you miss games or yak it up too much with friends in the stands.)
4. If you don't know what you're talking about, kids don't want you to talk.
(Typical comments: " Parents think they know the rules, but they don't." "My mom asks annoying questions.'' And ''I hate when my mom tells me to do things even when she doesn't know the first thing about sports.")
5. Even if you do know what you're talking about, kids don't want you to talk.
("I hate when parents tell us to do the exact opposite of what the coaches say," "If your parent isn't the coach, he or she shouldn't try to be one.")
6. Kids wish parents would practice what you preach about sportsmanship.
("My dad always wants me to he a 'good sport,' but a lot of the time he blames the loss on the ref." "Arguing with the refs is not only embarrassing, but it takes up time." )
7. Kids often can't hear a parent yelling when they're concentrating on the game.
(Sometimes, they can. Either way, they don't like it. "Parents yell advice a player doesn't hear because they're so into playing the game."I feel embarrassed when my parents yell so loud that the whole town can hear," and "They yell and scream and look like dorks.")
8. After they lose, kids don't want to be told it doesn't matter.
( Typical reactions: ""I hate when we get knocked out of the playoffs and parents say, 'You'll get them next time!" "When parents try to cheer you up after a loss, all they do is remind you of the score." )
9. After they lose, kids don't want to be told that it does matter.
("Parents take losses harder than we do". You win some, you lose some, no big deal! "Get over it!")
10. Kids just want to have fun. Parents lust don't get this. kids say.
--From the Diocesan Handbook concerning sports, parents, coaches, etc.
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10 PARENTING/SPORTS MYTHS
One of the constant concerns about trying to raise a youngster in sports these days is that there is so much misinformation and misleading advice that parents often don’t know where to turn. As such, I thought I’d take a moment to highlight some of the more common sports parenting “myths,” so that parents and coaches can get a better lay of the land when it comes to working with their kids.
1) The younger you can get your child on a travel team, the better.
In some teams, travel teams start as early as age 5 or 6. That’s nonsense. Nobody has ever produced a scientific study that shows that having your child play on a travel team at a very early age is going to guarantee athletic success down the road. However, on the other side of the coin, there are lots of studies that show that burnout is a real problem for kids in their early teens – and burnout usually affects kids who have been playing one sport for a long, long time on a travel team.
2) All travel team coaches are certified instructors, have degrees in physical education or psychology, and have a solid background in coaching kids.
In fact, anybody can say they’re a travel coach and start their own team. There are no rules, no regulations, and no licenses needed. Unlike teachers, who have to be certified by the state in which they work, travel coaches have no such requirements. Unfortunately, too many parents automatically assume that travel coaches are well equipped to work with kids when, in fact, they aren’t. Do your homework on any travel team coach before your son or daughter tries out.
3) The sooner your child specializes in just one sport, the better chance they have of advancing to a higher level (e.g. college, professional ranks).
Most of today’s top professional athletes didn’t even think to specialize in just one sport until they were in high school, around the age of 15. When they were younger, they played a variety of sports, depending on the season. Some coaches will pressure kids to play just one sport. As a parent, you should be wary of this! In addition to burnout worries, ask yourself, “how does your child know which sport will be his/her best one, unless they try a bunch of different sports?” When they’re young, let them try a bunch of sports.
4) The very best time to teach your youngster how to improve their play is immediately after the game; ideally, in the car ride on the way home while their game actions are still fresh in their mind.
In most cases, that’s absolutely the worst time to critique your child! Wait until a quiet moment later in the evening, or the next day. Evaluating your child’s game right after the match is finished will drive them away from the sport -- and from you!
5) A youngster who is a top athlete among his or her peers at age 8 is clearly destined to be a star when they’re 18.
While this happens sometimes, more times than not, it doesn’t. There is very little predictive value when it comes to saying an 8 year-old will grow to be a superior athlete when they’re 18. There are too many factors – the adolescent growth spurt (or lack thereof), the youngster’s personal motivation, skill level, etc. – that might influence how that athlete will develop when it comes to sports.
6) Creatine, as well as other nutritional supplements such as Andro and ephedra, that are sold in health stores have been proven to be safe for kids; otherwise, it would be illegal for the stores to sell these products.
While creatine, Andro, and ephedra products are legal in most states, that does not mean that they are healthy for your youngster. Be forewarned! There are no long range medical or scientific studies that show that these supplements are safe to ingest!
7) Sportsmanship is something that can only be taught by your child’s coach.
Not quite. In fact, being a good sport starts with you -- his or her parent. First, starting when they’re young, you should teach your child how to behave not only after a loss, but also after a win. Explain to them the right way to act. Secondly, during the heat of games, you have to set a positive example of how to behave – especially when a call goes against your child or your child’s team. Kids watch carefully to see how you react when things aren’t going your way. Leaving the lessons of sportsmanship up to the coach is a mistake. The coach should be reinforcing good sportsmanship – not teaching it as well.
8) All coaches are created equal.
Unfortunately, that’s just not true. There are a few exceptionally good coaches. There are also a few very bad coaches. Most fall somewhere in the middle. Like anything else in life, you hope that your child is lucky enough to play for a couple of those gifted coaches along the way, and can somehow manage to avoid the not-so-good ones. Again, do your homework before the season begins. Ask other parents. See if you can find out which ,hr,coaches care about the kids – and which coaches simply care about winning. It is important to try to determine which coaches will provide the best environment for your child.
9) Kids will be happy as long as they are part of a winning team.
No, this is not true. All kids prefer to play – and play a lot – on a losing or not-so-good team, so long as they’re playing in the games – rather than play only sparingly on a championship team. Kids instinctively know that the fun of sport is in the actual playing – not in always being on the sidelines and applauding their teammates.
10) The vast majority of Moms and Dads tend to be honest and fairly objective about their child’s ability in sports.
While we like to think we are, the truth is – we really aren’t. Most parents see their child as being better looking, smarter than the other kids, and certainly at least as athletically talented, if not more so, than the others.
Relax. It’s all part of being a sports parent.
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WINNING WITH CLASS
In growing up and participating in sports, there is consistent emphasis placed on being a good loser. "Keep your head up; learn from your mistakes; get 'em next time!" All of these are common phrases associated with losing with dignity. While handling defeat is important, a big part to becoming a champion is learning how to win.
With today's professional sports filled with egos and attitudes, showboating and taunting, you as a champion must understand how to win with class. Winning with class means respecting your opponent, being gracious and humble, and carrying yourself as if you have done this before. Celebration is okay. In fact, it's natural to feel good after you've won. But just as it feels great to win, it is very difficult to lose. Winning with class shows that you understand the pains of defeat and do not intend to step on another player when they are down. Your opponent will respect you much more if you control your emotions and show dignity, rather than rub their noses in it with brash behavior and self-glorifying gestures and dances.
You will be a champion! You will win many awards, receive great report cards, and win many games. You will be a leader and a role model amongst your friends. Winning with class will help you to remain grounded and respectful of others, and it will help others to respect you and remember how fun it was to play against you.
So, the next time you see a basketball player talking trash after a dunk, or a football player dancing and shouting after a tackle, place yourself in the shoes of the loser and remember how it feels to have a game winning home run hit off of you. And when you strike out the final batter of a well-pitched victory, pump your fist in celebration, and then carry yourself as a mature person who has won before. Always shake your opponents hand, and be conscious of how a true champion is to act. Over the course of your playing days, you will find yourself in many winning dugouts, and you will experience your share of losses. But when your name is in lights and you are the one collecting multi-million dollar paychecks, those that you've beaten on your path to the big leagues will remember you as a fierce competitor and a gracious champion. They will proudly and happily say to their friends: "Man, I used to lose to that guy all the time!"
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10 ISSUES IN COACHING KIDS
Issue No. 10 - Dealing with Frustration - or maybe this is better known as How to Communicate with your players effectively…..if you're a yeller or screamer at your players - and that's the key phrase at your kids - then you're becoming obsolete…..Why? because the vast majority of kids today DO NOT respond well to being belittled by their coaches….most kids will NOT, repeat, will NOT rise to the challenge….they just end up hating you and will shrink from the task at end….
So, if you want to scream and yell, modify your approach so that you yell at the TEAM in general - not at an individual player. That's the key difference. It's much easier for the entire team to hear they're not making an effort than for an individual kid to be picked up and humiliated in front of his teammates.
Issue No. 9 - Make every possible effort to get everybody into the game….now, this is a tough challenge for some coaches, but for others, it's easy…yes, especially at the varsity level, you want to win….but the best coaches seem to understand that in order for the team to win, it helps dramatically if every kid - -even the second stringers - get a chance to break a sweat and get dirty, even if only for a few plays.
Why? Because it's hard to talk about how we're a TEAM if only a few kids play in the game….kids on the bench begin to lose interest, their self-confidence withers -after all, how good can they be if You, the coach, don't trust them to play them in the game…and eventually, your entire program suffers because you get the reputation as favoring only a few kids…
Coaches, trust me on this….find a way to get All your kids into the games….and not just when the score is lopsided.
Issue No. 8 - Learn how to Communicate with your players. That means You, as the coach, have to build a rapport with every kid on your team….talk to them one on one….let them feel free to give you ideas, feedback, etc….don't be afraid to let the kids make suggestions to you on how to use a certain player here or there….sometimes, the players know better than you do who should play where on the team….
I remember a player telling me that one of my outfielders - a kid who didn't play much - had a terrific knuckleball….I went to this outfielder, asked to see him pitch, and lo and behold, he was great….but he never came to me to volunteer that info, and I would have never have heard about it unless I had listened to his teammate.
ALSO …be careful and precise with your words. Those youngsters live and die with what you say, so be very, very careful. Above all, never make a promise to a kid if you don't plan to carry it out…that will absolutely ruin any trust or rapport the kid has for you….example: telling a kid he's going to play a lot in the next game, and then the kid gets in only briefly…there's no reason to do that.
Issue No. 7 - Here's a tough one…Parents should be treated with respect and with friendship-they are NOT to be avoided like the plague….Now, I know this can be very difficult for coaches….but the only thing that parents want from you are two things: 1) a few kind words about how their kid is doing, and 2) they may want to offer a coaching strategy or two.
My advice? Give the parent 5 minutes of your time, let them give you their advice, and give them a sincere smile. Sometimes, they may even have a good idea….but to be distant or aloof from these folks is a big, big mistake.
Also, always remember that parents rarely tend to be objective about their kids' abilities as athletes. But that being said, it's not your job to deflate the parent's dreams….don't worry - -when the time comes, the kid will either rise to the top, or they won't….you won't have to tell the parents the bad news.
And one last thing about parents. If they call you, make every effort to call them back within 24 hours.
Issue No. 6 - Make sportsmanship a key priority…..don't just say and shrug, "Oh yeah, I guess we gotta shake hands after the game with the other team." Rather, teach your kids about the Golden Rule in Sports - treat your opponents the way you would like to be treated.
As a coach, praise the opponents and their efforts. Let your kids know that the other team is working hard, too. Teach your kids what's acceptable after they score, and what isn't. Let them know that running up a score is just not right….I still get angry when I hear about coaches letting kids run the score in a game in order to set a personal record….that stuff stinks!
Teach your kids how to win - and lose -- with class.
Issue No. 5 - Be careful with your words! You can never go wrong with praise, but you can really run into problems if you lash out at your kids and use words that cut right to the bone.
Sarcasm is really the worst enemy you can have. If you're a coach, don't try to be a comedian. Don't try and poke fun at your kids by using sarcastic remarks….kids, for the most part, won't respond to that. And by the way, remind your asst. coaches of the same philosophy.
Issue No. 4 - Don't try to be the player's best friend. He or she already has lots of friends. Your job is still to be an educator. You can talk to them, listen to them, and motivate them, but don't think for a second that you're on the same level with the kids. You're still a grown-up here, and you're being paid to act like an educator. So educate them - don't be part of their social world.
Issue No. 3 - "We're building for the future - -that's why I'm playing the younger kids over the seniors." Hmm….is that fair? At what point do you pull the plug on the seniors who have waited for their turn to play on the varsity? Is building for the future really part of the high school mentality, or is that better left to the pros and colleges?
From my vantage point, too many high school coaches think this is appropriate. This is wrong. It's not fair to the upperclassmen who have waited to get their playing time.
Issue No. 2 - Conditioning and safety….coach, what do you do if you find out that one of your kids is taking some legal but controversial nutritional supplements to his or her diet? Are you going to say anything to the kid? To their parents? Is that part of your job?
We have already learned about kids working out in the heat and have paid the price, sometimes with death. Now, at least, there are water breaks for the kids. But what about those situations where a kid is taking creatine, or ephedrine, or any other supplement that might seriously damage their health? Coach, what kind of responsibility do you have to that kid? Let me put it this way - suppose it was your kid?
Issue No. 1 - Discipline - Every coach on every team has to have some sort of team discipline. That's the easy part. The hard part is to trying to determine what kind of punishment should be handed out if a kid disobeys one of the rules.
Example: the coach says that if you're late to the pre-game meeting, then you sit out the first half of the game. No excuses accepted. Well, what happens if the kids are playing the biggest game of the year, and the star player is late for the pre-game meeting because he witnessed a car accident and he stopped to render some assistance to the injured people? Coach --- according to your rules, he sits out. Is that fair? Is that the kind of message you want to send to a kid who's a good Samaritan?
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WHEN TO DRAW THE LINE
From the local Times-Herald Record
No, but parents need to know where to draw the line
Everybody wants to be goalie when Wadeson's Home Center coach Jon Desrats asks the question in a Warwick Soccer Club game on April 12, 2008 at the Town Park in Warwick. Times Herald-Record/JOHN DeSANTOTimes Herald-Record/JOHN DeSANTO Kevin Witt
By Kevin Witt
Times Herald-Record
April 27, 2008
A young teenage boy wipes out during a club ski race, then gets yelled at for it by his parents — who have big bucks invested in his sport.
Two fathers get into a physical fight, after an argument that began over a call during a youth wrestling tournament.
During a soccer game played by fifth-graders, a player's mother shouts disparaging remarks about the other team.
April 27: Part 1, Are youth sports out of control?
April 28: Part 2, The good stuff.
April 29: Part 3, Should young athletes specialize in just one sport?
April 30: Part 4, Horror stories, and what's being done to prevent them from happening in your town.
These are scenes that could play out almost daily anywhere in the United States.
But these stories came from children who could be playing in your backyard.
The most extreme make headlines, like hockey dads fighting to the death. What's far more common and is usually only gossip fodder is parents running onto a field in anger during a game, while others watch from the bleachers in stunned disbelief.
There are confrontations involving coaches, officials and parents. Players taught to cheat. Diabolical plots to manipulate a starting lineup. Officials berated by fans who appear more like boozy NFL spectators than proud and supportive relatives. Rival teams and leagues at war over players, field usage and fund-raising dollars.
Youth sports are a national obsession, and many families devote their weekends and more to them. But as youth sports participation levels continue to rise, so have the incidents of impulsive and obnoxious behavior.
Add it all up and you can't help but wonder if youth sports in America are out of control?
Fred Engh, founder, president and CEO of the National Alliance for Youth Sports, said parents are the biggest problem.
"Parents of small children have an innate desire to be protective of their child," Engh said. "This becomes very evident in organized sports, where they agree to officiate, run the leagues, etc. They too often lose sight of the fact that these are growing children who simply want to go out and play.
"In youth sports, approximately 20 percent (starting at age 6) will be natural gifted athletes. The rest are there because their parents signed them up wanting very much for them to be good athletes. In most cases, it doesn't happen and the parents show their frustration because of it."
It's not fair to lump every mom and dad into the category Washingtonville parent and long-time high school coach John Shepherd calls "lunatics."
For every story you hear about somebody stealing money from a local league, there are a ton more about people who have been doing the right thing for years. Some parents act, rightfully, only to protect their child from an abusive coach or shelter them from an environment that's too competitive.
"We have wonderful coaches and wonderful parents," said Lynn Distefano, who recently stepped down as Minisink Valley Little League president after more than 20 years.
"But when something happens, people dwell on the negatives. It's not healthy for kids to see parents act like that."
Shepherd has been a high school girls' soccer coach since 1981. So if there was anybody who should coach a recreation team, you would think it would be him. Especially when his daughter, Christine, was playing. He even was talked into it a few times.
"But I tried to avoid it," Shepherd said. "I didn't want anybody saying they got 'Coach Shep,' and somebody else getting 'Joe Smith the parent' or whoever. I stayed back and just was the Dad. I thought it was a good move.
"I didn't want to be in a situation where I was involved in the club, and then have one of those kids make the (high school) varsity and have somebody accuse me. Avoiding the whole conflict was very important to me."
But he agrees with Distefano's point.
"Ninety to 95 percent of the parents are just awesome," Shepherd said. "They have good intentions, and they want what's best for the kids. The other five percent, for lack of a better word, are lunatics. They react in a way that isn't appropriate."
Some coaches are to blame, too. Many are perceived as obsessed with winning. Others believe success in youth sports will put them in line for a pro job. For all the horror stories about parents, there are just as many of coaches abusing their power.
Parenting expert John Rosemond doesn't even like to go to his grandchildren's games, "because you never know what type of crowd you're going to get."
Rosemond writes a weekly syndicated column, "Living with Children," that appears in about 250 newspapers throughout the country.
"I believe adults are entirely too involved," Rosemond said. "When I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago in the 1950s, we played pickup games. We went door-to-door, then organized the games. We were in charge of the whole thing, and settled our own problems.
"We developed social skills that kids today are missing out on, because adults are making all the decisions kids used to make."
Rosemond told the story of his son, Eric, whose own son, Jack, did four different organized sports throughout the year.
"He complained that all he does is drive Jack to games," Rosemond said. "I asked him why he was involved in so many sports, and he told me he wanted Jack to learn to be a team player. I said, 'The greatest team is family.'"
Rosemond said his son backed off on all the sports, and now Jack plays the guitar. Eric signed up his son for lessons, until Jack said he didn't want to take them anymore.
"Eric tells me now Jack plays the guitar more than ever," John Rosemond said.
Middletown's Jose Rodriguez played Little League two decades ago. Now he coaches his own children. Jose is 13, Jacob is 8.
"When I played, whatever the coach said, went. Parents didn't have a problem with that," Rodriguez said.
"The parents are too involved now. They don't let the coaches do their job. It's hard enough trying to help the kids learn the game, but you also have to deal with the parents."
Chester's Meghan Kennedy has played different youth sports at different age group levels, which carried different levels of intensity and expectations.
"It creates balance in your life," Kennedy said. "You burn energy, and it gives you a fresh outlook on your homework."
She began skiing at age 5, and has raced since she turned 8. Now 14, she owns four pairs of skis, each for different conditions. Yet her attitude is "win some, lose some," when it comes to races.
Kennedy has played youth soccer in the Monroe-Woodbury league since she was in fifth grade, and played last fall with the John S. Burke Catholic jayvee team. She is running school track this spring, and playing in the Monroe-Woodbury league on weekends.
"It's good to do both," Kennedy said. "The recreation league is more relaxed, more of a chill-type thing. It's not as serious and you just play around. Everybody plays. School soccer is a lot different. Some people like (recreation soccer) to be more competitive. I'm kind of down the middle."
Remember the young skier who was yelled at by his parents? Kennedy saw that.
"Some parents will go overboard, and get a little excited," Kennedy said. "I really felt bad for him."
So where should the line be drawn between youth sports being competitive or just plain fun?
Generally, town leagues are aimed at player development and creating interest in sports, and players are just as happy to get postgame ice cream as they are to hit a dinger.
Traveling all-star teams don't hide the fact they're in it to win.
But the line gets blurry. At the beginning of majors level Little League seasons, the town mayor can usually be heard rambling on at the opening ceremony about how fortunate the town is to have a league that gives kids this wonderful opportunity. It's all about having fun, and keeping kids "off the streets."
By the end of the season, traveling all-star roster spots are on the line, so the competition level ratchets up a notch.
"Our theory is that t-ball (ages 5-6) and minors (7-8) are for fun and instruction," said Cliff Tremper, the treasurer of the Kingston Little League who has been on the league board the last eight years. "Score isn't kept.
"The majors (9-12) is the more competitive level. Hopefully, these kids will have come up through the program. So they will have had four years of instruction. But it's still supposed to be fun."
Sometimes the fun takes a back seat.
"The parents are so focused on their kid's success," Tremper said. "At least half at the majors level care more about that than the overall fun and team success."
And there's something called competitive fun. Brian Pincus lives in Washingtonville, but coaches a basketball team his 7-year-old son, Zachary, plays on in Goshen. Brian describes his son as "on the small side," so he wasn't sure Zachary would like basketball.
"But he leads the team in steals," Brian Pincus said.
No official score is kept, "but everybody does," Pincus said. "They want to make this level instructional, but the kids all want to know their score and their stats."
"We lost one game, 41-14," Pincus said. "The other team was much bigger. By the time Zachary got home, he had forgotten all about it. He moves on. I think it hurts the coaches more."
Pincus also coaches his son in flag football.
"We were horrible one game on defense," he said. "I'm e-mailing one coach, back-and-forth, about what we're going to do. As far as Zachary was concerned, it was over. Kids have more things today to keep them occupied."
Keeping score is a big-time no-no in the Tri-State Youth Soccer League, and everybody knows it. In fact, so is just about anything structured in the six-week summer league. It is based in Port Jervis, but welcomes kids from pre-school age through high school from neighboring communities.
Bonnie and Mike Heal have been involved the last 12 years, seven as officers. He's the president. She's the secretary. Their 16-year-old daughter, Lexis, has gone through the program.
"It's strictly recreational," Bonnie Heal said. "Just teach them the basics and let them play. Coaches are encouraged to play everybody. They get competitive soccer at the school levels. I've had adults ask me about practice time. We don't encourage it. Just go out and have fun."
Yet even here, it hasn't been adult-problem free. One person was not allowed to coach again, Heal said, "because he was too verbally strong with the kids. A lot of parents complained."
Travel teams are a big part of local youth sports, and they're not necessarily bad just because the focus is on winning.
In fact, often the only way to attract the interest of a college recruiter is to play in "showcase" events that allow players to show their skills against the best competition. But competition produces intense emotions.
Ross Hansen is a Minisink Valley senior and two-time Section 9 champion. He began wrestling when he was 4, and four years later, was attending tournaments locally, as well as in New Jersey and Pennsylvania.
"Pretty much every weekend we went to a tournament," Hansen said. "They had the best wrestling, so my Dad took me there when I was little to get the experience. It all helped make me better."
But ...
"Every tournament, there probably was some argument," Hansen said. "Maybe not to a fight, but there was definitely something the kids shouldn't have seen."
Are youth sports out of control? The answer is no. The good far outweighs the bad.
But there's enough bad out there to make you stop and ask the question, and wonder how many codes of conduct, how many verbal warnings, how many headlines will it take to make youth sports the fun, idyllic escape most adults want it to be?
There's ample reason to believe youth sports can be like that.
If you happened upon Watts Park in Middletown one recent spring day, there was a two-on-two basketball game, and a pretty good one at that.
No one wore a uniform. Not one parent or one whistle in the place, and the teenagers didn't even realize they were being watched.
There was contact under the basket. One kid called a foul. The other disagreed, but let the call stand.
There was no yelling, no fighting, no official protest filed with anybody.
They just started playing again.
kwitt@th-record.com
What you told us
The Times Herald-Record asked readers to tell us about their experiences with Hudson Valley youth sports. Here are some of the results:
Does your child's league provide you with written guidelines regarding parental behavior?
Yes 70.5%
No 24.8%
Not sure 4.7%
What's the main reason you want your child to play sports?
Who knows? It could be their career
To get a college scholarship
So they can play in
high school
Get exercise
Have fun 61.5%
Meet other children .9%
Approximately how much money do you spend on your child's sport each year, including travel, equipment and registration?
Less than $100 8.5%
$101-250 20.8%
$251-500 28.5%
$501-1,000 20.8%
More than $1,000 21.4%
Approximately how many hours do you spend involved in your child's sport each week?
Less than three 9.9%
3-6 34.4%
6-9 28.2%
10 or more 27.5%
Have you ever witnessed a parent or adult family member run on to a field in anger during a game?
Yes 37.4%
No 62.6%
Have you ever witnessed a physical confrontation involving coaches, officials or parents at a game?
Yes 35.1%
No 64.9%
Have you ever witnessed a coach arguing with another coach, official or parent at a game?
Yes 80%
No 20%
Part 2
Look at the boy's face, wide-eyed with a smile that lights up the inside of an SUV.
The car hasn't even come to a complete stop at the park, but the kid would jump out the back window if he could.
Anything to get onto that beautiful field, with its freshly cut grass, raked dirt and wonderfully straight white chalk lines.
Pick any mid-Hudson park this spring and you'll get that reaction.
How about the look on the girl's face when she slips on that new uniform for the first time? Or any time for that matter. She'll borrow mom's full-length mirror, look into it and turn around, so she can see her uniform number above the sponsor's name.
Now she's ready to kick that soccer ball or take her cuts — after the annual parade that runs through her hometown. Then it's back to the park, where somebody has arranged for pictures to be taken.
Watch the girl when her name is called, and she's handed a shiny trophy, even though her team lost more than it won. Or the boy who piles mustard and relish on the postgame hot dog, then dives into a piece of cake from the team mom.
Now look at the parents, their chests swelling with pride when they see their son catch a fly ball. He was too afraid when the season began, but while they were working, somebody worked with him, hitting him fly ball after fly ball.
Tears stream down the parents' faces, as their daughter dribbles the basketball down the floor — and then makes the basket. When did she learn that? A month ago, the young girl barely could take the ball out of the package.
Think about all of the youth leagues that run without incident, and when something does happen, those brush fires don't burn out of control.
Think about when some kid needed a ride to practice or a game — and got one.
Think about how nice it is that your kid, or grandkid, or niece or nephew has another positive role model in their life — one maybe you didn't expect.
These all are because of adults who freely give of themselves — their time, patience and enthusiasm — for the good of all kids, not just their own. In many cases, they don't even have a kid on a team.
But they sure do care, and communities are lucky to have them.
It's a common joke around Little League circles that being the league president isn't the hardest, most thankless job there is.
That honor goes to the person married to the Little League president, usually a wife who by default ends up running the concession stand - a full-time job of its own - or ends up being an administrative assistant and jack-of-all-trades.
There are a lot of good people just like the president's spouse who are involved in youth sports but overlooked because, most of the time, youth sports only makes the news because someone's done something bad.
Not today. You know these people. They may not be from your town, or your league, but you know the type. Selfless, tireless volunteers who make youth sports happen.
The face of the program: Jim Gagliano, New Zion Lions
He's an FBI agent, a West Point graduate, a former Army Ranger. But to some City of Newburgh kids, he was a cop, first and foremost, and cops were met with distrustful eyes.
Plus, some city kids had been burned by adults. Some of them had no father in their lives and they were naturally skeptical of adults.
So Jim Gagliano knew he had to gain the kids' trust before anything else. He had to make the kids realize he wasn't just, in his words, "a white police officer from Cornwall - he cares."
Only then would he be able to do more than coach in the Newburgh Zion Lions' perennially successful AAU basketball program.
Gagliano has coached in the program for 7?1„2 years, the past five with the under-17 team. The kids have befriended his son, Anthony, 17, who has gone through the program. They've stayed over at the house and taken countless car rides to tournaments with coach.
He's a stickler for kids making eye contact, for proper manners, for showing respect. Gagliano is, in his words, "kind of a dictator." Yet he realizes there are times when flexibility is paramount. Some of these kids need second and third chances. And some of them need basketball to maintain the focus necessary to thrive in a challenging inner-city environment.
"The satisfying part is not just athletically," says Gagliano, a 43-year-old father of two teens. "The great part is that you are in their lives.''
The jack-of-all-trades: Policarpio Ramos, Liberty United Soccer
He prints names and numbers on the backs of uniforms at all hours from home.
He makes sure the fields are seeded and always ready to go.
And, of course, Policarpio Ramos coaches for the Liberty United soccer team.
"I really can't fathom how he does it all," says Debbie Owen, who coaches Liberty United's under-13 boys' team. "It's a full-time job."
It's a full-time job because Ramos, married with three children, affectionately known as "Carpio," loves this program so much. While Orange County is full of club soccer options, Liberty United is the only team in Sullivan County. Players shuffle to practices from Monticello to Lake Huntington, traveling the Hudson Valley for games.
Ramos, 47, who moved from Bolivia to the U.S. in 1987, started Liberty United in 2003 to give Sullivan players a legit travel team option. He is one of the most popular and well-liked people in the community.
"I love soccer and I never get tired," says Ramos, who lives in Liberty. "Not when you see how happy kids are after the games. I would like to see one of our players on the U.S. national team one day and play in the World Cup."
Justin Rodriguez
The dedicated coach (and the good woman behind him): Jake Schof, Pine Bush Little League
The commute from Pine Bush to the Bronx is long and often tiring.
So, of course, there are nights when Jake Schof would love to bypass Little League practice for a spot on his couch.
Never happens.
Schof, 47, is a dedicated man.
Dedicated to his Pine Bush major boys' team.
Dedicated to his wife, Mary, and their six boys - ages 2 to 14.
Dedicated to the men he serves with as a battalion commander in the New York City Fire Department.
"I started coaching (five years) ago because I felt an obligation to my kids," Schof says. "I felt like I wasn't pulling my weight."
Schof, regularly hustling from the Big Apple to the boonies, helped the major boys' team to the state championship game last season. His minor-league boys' team reached the state title game in 2006. Yes, Schof is certainly pulling his weight.
But Schof will tell you, behind every good man, is a good woman. In this case, his wife: making dinners, hustling the kids around, getting them ready for practices.
"She's a saint," Schof says. "My wife is unbelievable."
Justin Rodriguez
The team mom: Irene Stauble, Kingston Little League
Irene Stauble has it relatively easy this year, in what she believes is her eighth or ninth as a team mother in the Kingston American Little League.
"I actually have one of the better groups of parents right now," Stauble says.
Maybe the Kingston mother of four was just due for a good group. Especially, since she says, other team mothers aren't as fortunate.
"Those parents forget that many hands make light work," Stauble says.
Chances are, it's also because she pretty much has this all figured out. Her 12-year-old son, Luke, is on the team. He is her third-oldest child. Stevie and Seth have gone through the program, and Irene was a team mother for both of them.
Maggie just started, and it wouldn't be a surprise if Irene ended up with her at some point.
"Irene has never held a position on the board," says Cliff Tremper, league treasurer and longtime board member. "But she's done a lot more for the league than a lot of board members."
Her official team functions include coordinating the parents' involvement in the league concession stand, handling the picture forms and getting the phone chain going.
She also plans the league picnic, which involves everybody, and helps arrange for the trophies.
Then there are the unofficial duties she's handled over the years. Irene coached Luke's 8-year-old team, which included boys and girls playing baseball on the same squad. When she wasn't coaching, she sometimes was out there helping on the field.
"You know how it is with young kids," Stauble says. "You also need help in the dugout. Kids will be drawing in the sand or catching butterflies."
She also has provided a post-game snack and a ride home with equal enthusiasm.
"When the day is done," Stauble says, "it's all about the kids playing and having fun."
A life devoted to kids: Chris Brinckerhoff, Middletown Recreation and Parks
Chris Brinckerhoff was volunteering at Little Leagues as a 14-year-old. So it's no surprise she's still working with kids almost three decades later.
She's vice superintendent of the Middletown Recreation and Parks Department. She's been there 29 years, the only full-time job she's ever had.
But there's probably not enough money in the budget to compensate Brinck, as she's known, for all she's done in the Middletown community and beyond. She's the go-to girl for countless kids seeking guidance. Brinckerhoff, 41, is never sure when a kid will ring her phone for help. But she's always ready to pick it up.
"I just always, for lack of a better word, had a knack for working with kids," she says.
And the more disadvantaged or challenged the kids are, "the more I like them.'' Why? "You know what?'' Brinck says, "because you can give them opportunity. We don't save kids - they save themselves. We just give kids opportunities.''
There's a neat Middletown School District after-school program for sixth- to eighth-graders that runs out of the Rec & Parks office. Kids split time between basketball and schoolwork.
The staff is all about positive reinforcement, and one testimonial after another describes kids finding an identity, improving their grades and staying out of trouble. There were 100 kids in the program debut last year. By winter, the number had grown to 700 kids. Brinck devised the program.
Tomorrow: Part 3, Should young athletes specialize in just one sport?
Wednesday: Part 4, Horror stories, and what's being done to prevent them from happening in your town.
The Times Herald-Record asked readers to tell us about their experiences with youth sports in the Hudson Valley. Here are some of the results:
Does your child's league conduct background checks on its coaches?
Yes 48.8%
No 15.5%
Not sure 35.6%
Does your child's league provide training programs for its coaches?
Yes, it's required
24.4%
Yes, it's optional 25.2%
No
25.2%
Not sure 25.2%
Do you believe your child has been a victim of a coach's favoritism?
Yes 43.4%
No 56.6%
Do you believe your child has benefited from a coach's favoritism?
Yes 20.9%
No 79.1%
Do you know of any situations where a coach told a child to cheat?
Yes 13.8%
No 86.2%
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