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HONOR THE GAME
Many people talk about "sportsmanship," or what it means to be a "good sport." What does it mean to you to be a good sport? Answers to this question vary widely. Sadly, Positive Coach Alliance, PCA, has even heard stories of coaches telling their teams that if they win the Sportsmanship Award at a tournament, they will spend the entire following week conditioning! Why might a coach say this? Unfortunately, many coaches equate being a good sport with being soft or weak.
PCA believes the time has come to unite behind a powerful new term, "Honoring the Game." Coaches, parents, and athletes need to realize that an Honoring the Game perspective needs to replace the common win-at-all-cost perspective. If a coach and his or her team have to dishonor the game to win it, what is this victory really worth, and what sort of message is this sending young athletes?
If Honoring the Game is to become the youth sports standard, it needs a clear definition. At PCA we say that Honoring the Game goes to the "ROOTS" of positive play. Each letter in ROOTS stands for an important part of the game that we must respect. The R stands for Rules. The first O is for Opponents. The next O is for Officials. T is for Teammates, and the S is for Self.
R is for Rules
Rules allow us to keep the game fair. If we win by ignoring or violating the rules, what is the value of our victory? PCA believes that honoring the letter AND the spirit of the rule is important.
O is for Opponents
Without an opponent, there would be no competition. Rather than demeaning a strong opponent, we need to honor strong opponents because they challenge us to do our best. Athletes can be both fierce and friendly during the same competition (in one moment giving everything to get to a loose ball, and in the next moment helping an opponent up). Coaches showing respect for opposing coaches and players sets the tone for the rest of the team.
O is for Officials
Respecting officials, even when we disagree with their calls, may be the toughest part of Honoring the Game. We must remember that officials are not perfect (just like coaches, athletes and parents!). Take time to think about how to best approach an official when you want to discuss a call. What strategies do you have to keep yourself in control when you start to get upset with officials" calls? We must remember that the loss of officials (and finding enough in the first place) is a major problem in most youth sports organizations, and we can confront this problem by consistently respecting officials.
T is for Teammates
It"s easy for young athletes to think solely about their own performance, but we want athletes to realize that being part of a team requires thinking about and respecting one"s teammates. This respect needs to carry beyond the field/gym/track/pool into the classroom and social settings. Athletes need to be reminded that their conduct away from practices and games will reflect back on their teammates and the league, club, or school.
S is for Self
Athletes should be encouraged to live up to their own highest personal standard of Honoring the Game, even when their opponents are not. Athletes" respect for themselves and their own standards must come first.
Having this definition of Honoring the Game (HTG) is a start. To make Honoring the Game the youth sports standard, coaches, leaders, and parents need to discuss HTG with their athletes. Coaches need to practice it with their athletes (i.e. have players officiate at practice). And perhaps most importantly, all adults in the youth sports setting (coaches, leaders, parents, officials, and fans) need to model it. If these adults Honor the Game, the athletes will too.
http://www.positivecoach.org
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Guidelines for Supportive Parents
David A. Feigley, Ph.D.
Youth Sports Research Council
Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey
Few youth sports programs are successful without the support of parents. Below are a few guidelines which coaches can share with concerned parents who are striving to support their young athletes.
Supportive parents emphasize improved performance rather than competitive ranking.
The distinction between performance and outcome centers on what can be controlled. Mastering sport skills (a performance goal) can be totally controlled by the athlete, whereas, the number of wins and losses (an outcome measure) is frequently outside the athlete's control. An overemphasis on competitive rank and an underemphasis on sport mastery is a primary cause of the dramatic dropout rate by 12 to 18-year-olds.
Supportive parents decrease the pressure to win.
Competitive sports create the pressure to win. Additional pressure from the parent(s) is likely to be counterproductive, particularly in the long run. Supportive parents avoid making the outcome of the game bigger than life. As the game becomes blown out of proportion, a youngster's self?esteem can become tied to winning or losing. A child should not feel less valuable or less loved when they lose.
Supportive parents believe that sport's primary value is the opportunity for self-development.
The probability of achieving lasting fame and glory via sport is low. Approximately one out of a thousand high school athletes become professionals. Although many young athletes never achieve professional status, their sports experiences enabled them to develop life?long values and self-respect.
Supportive parents understand the risks.
Competition places the athlete on center stage. Anytime you attempt to succeed publicly, where others can judge you, you risk failing. Over time, competing is a willingness to chance failure. Giving your best is what athletics is all about.
Supportive parents communicate their true concerns directly with the coach.
A positive working relationship is based upon clearly communicated, mutual goals among parents, coaches and athletes. While a parent cannot control the behavior of a coach, they can communicate with the coach on a regular basis about the child's overall development.
Supportive parents understand and respect the differences between parental roles and coaching roles.
Both parents and coaches need to understand their different roles. While parents are ultimately responsible for their child's development, once they have selected a coach, they must leave the coaching to that person. Although many parents often recreate with their chil, they must resist coaching "over the shoulder" of the coach and/or publicly questioning the coaches decisions.
Supportive parents control negative emotions and think positively.
Few athletes wish to perform poorly. Negative reactions to poor performance only adds to an athlete's pressures. Supportive parents realize that even the athlete who "chokes" is trying to succeed. In fact, part of the problem with many athletes is that they are trying too had to succeed. Criticizing such athletes does little to enhance their performance.
Supportive parents avoid using fear.
Punishment and withdrawal of love can pressure kids to perform better. Unfortunately, such strategies tend to trade short-term performance gains for long?term emotional risks to the youngster's health and well?being. Supportive parents recognize that a love for sport is rarely fostered by fear of the consequences of failure.
Supportive parents avoid criticizing.
Nagging parents often confuse support with constantly reminding the children that they need to practice more, condition more, concentrate more, etc. Overly involved parents frequently lose their objectivity. They are unable to provide critical emotional support which children often need before and during highly competitive contests.
Supportive parents recognize and understand expressions of insecurity.
Youngsters who express high anxiety, more often than not, have parents who are insensitive to their symptoms. When children are nervous, uncertain, or feeling pressure, insensitive parents may trivialize the child's fears or see such concerns as signs of weakness. Supportive parents realize that such expressions are normal and are a call for emotional support.
Supportive parents avoid the use of guilt.
Statements such as, "We've done so much for you," or "The family has sacrificed so much, the least you could do . . . " are typical remarks of unsupportive parents. They often use guilt to manipulate the child to behave the way the parent(s) desire.
Supportive parents show empathy for their child.
Empathy is an understanding of what the child is feeling and an awareness of the pressures and demands that the sport places on the athlete. Empathy is not sympathy or agreement necessarily, but, rather, a true understanding that the task is difficult. A sympathetic response to an expression of doubt by a young athlete might be, "Perhaps, you're right; it's too difficult. Maybe you shouldn't compete today." Conversely, empathy by a supportive parent might be expressed as "Yes, it will probably be a tough match today. C'mon, let me help you get ready."
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For Parents
10 POSITIVE Things That Parents Do:
1 - Positive verbalization during events
2 - Praise of athlete/child
3 - Always including fun in events
4 - Encouraging child to focus on more than one sport
5 - Talking and listening to athlete/child
6 - Being appreciative of work by referees or officials
7 - Positive attitude toward coach
8 - Giving coach respect during and after events
9 - Helping child by practicing skills with them
10 - Attending athlete/child's events
http://www.positivecoaching.org
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For Coaches
10 POSITIVE Things That Coaches Do:
1 - Have realistic expectations
2 - Always including fun in the sport
3 - Obtain appropriate training for the sport
4 - Allowing injured players ample time to recuperate
5 - Having the desire to win, but enjoying the improvement of players/team
6 - Maintaining communication with parent
7 - Knowing what is abuse and how to prevent it
8 - Accepting the performance of referees and officials
9 - Having respect for the game
10 - Knowing the difference between outcome goals versus performance goals
http://www.positivecoaching.org
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