Back in Black (ink) – Return of the Haugen BaseBlog

The blog is back after an extended break - and I’ve got some things on my mind.

Sitting in a 14^TH floor hotel room in the Mile High City, I realize ten and exactly ten things:

1.       Downtown Denver is a pretty awesome place.

2.       That John Denver is full of shit – I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier than this. (Just kidding, the Rocky Mountains look pretty sweet too. Had to throw it in there though.)

3.       Ratio of country radio stations to every other type of station in Denver – 2:1

4.       I’m fine with that ratio. Plus, my rental vehicle was a Red Ford Explorer with Texas license plates. Third song I hear on the drive from the airport to my hotel? Little Red Rodeo, which contains the lyrics “…Texas plates, candy apple red rodeo…” DAMN CLOSE.

5.       I like nothing better upon entering a hotel room than proceding to throw my shit absolutely everywhere.

6.       There is never an open outlet close enough to the bed that I can plug my laptop into. 

7.       Working a 14 hour day starting at 4:30am after getting four hours of sleep - SUCKS.

8.       Free happy hour in the hotel lobby after that 14 hour day – RULES.

9.       Driving a combined 7+ hours to Rice Lake from Madison every weekend – SUCKS.

10.   Getting to play baseball with the craziest, most fun, best team in Northwest Wisconsin – RULES.

Ok, with all of that said, it’s over halfway through the 2009 Indy League baseball season. To me, it really doesn’t seem like we’ve played that many games. I think it’s partly because our team has been such a mix and match this summer. We’ve had a core of 4-5 guys who have been to every game, another core of 4-5 guys who have only missed 4-5 games, and then some guys who have played big roles in the past that have only make it to 4-5 games.  Not ragging on guys who haven’t made it as much, we’ve got some guys making big commitments to get to the games they can, and that means a lot.

You can look at that breakdown however you want, but I’m excited that this team is 10-0, and there are 13 guys who have played in just about half or more of our games. While it would be nice to have a consistent lineup and the same guys in the starting lineup every game, we have gained some depth this year that we haven’t had the last couple seasons. Now, I hope we can get our best lineup on the field the last few games of the regular season and through the playoffs, but we have a number of guys who have stepped in at various times this summer and contributed when the game was on the line. This will prove to be valuable the longer the season goes.

Not only that, but we’ve had some close games that we’ve had to fight to get the win. Sometimes you have undefeated teams that go deep into a season and aren’t challenged, and then panic a bit when the score is close and it’s late in an important game. Not this squad. We’ve earned some tough wins, getting big hits and making big plays when we’ve needed them, and it’s come from a variety of guys. 

There’s a slightly different vibe about the way this season is going, but it's a good one. It’s absolutely different without Howie in our dugout; we miss him a lot. But at the same time there is a strange business like focus I can’t really describe. We still screw off a ton, last weekend before the Cumberland game is a great example, but there’s something different. We haven't played our best baseball yet, but there's an unspoken swagger and confidence we have, even when we're down, that I'm not sure I've seen from this team before. Maybe it’s different because some of the guys who were there every game in the past haven’t been here as much. Maybe it’s because everybody realizes how special this season can potentially be. I don’t know, I can’t put my finger on it. 

We’ve got six league games left. Spooner this Sunday, a traveling doubleheader the following Saturday in Seeley and Hayward, a home game against Siren, then we finish up the regular season with rivalries; the Hornets one weekend and Brill the weekend after. If neither of us slips up, it could be the second time in three years that we play them for the league title on the final day of the regular season, and that’s awesome.

So here’s what I want to say to the Haugen Knights: Let’s bring the f****** noise this last month and a half of the season. Let’s get to the cages, take our BP, take our extra fielding and do the extra work that helped take us from a middle of the pack team to the one with the targets on our backs. We’re going to get every team’s best shot every week, and I like it that way. As long as we do what we need to do and stick together like we have all year, we’ll be just fine.

This might get a bit sappy, but so be it. Every time we play, just for a moment think of the opportunity we have. We’re playing this season for a lot of people, our fans, the Haugen and Rice Lake baseball communities, Howie, and ourselves. I keep thinking back to last season and how awesome the last two weekends were. After clinching our spot in the state tournament, I remember how happy we all were, especially Howie, and just living it up at Poor Folks. Moments like those are why I drive 3.5 hours every weekend. The drive sucks; it’s expensive, and I’m exhausted after every weekend. 

But any time I ever think about how maybe it might be best to finally hang it up, I think about that weekend and the that happened after it. How everybody got together in Ashland, played our asses off and falling just short of the title game. Guys playing hurt, sore, injured, cramping up and not saying anything, still trying to win the game; that’s what this game is about. And then on top of that, after we lost, going out and absolutely wreaking havoc on the town of Ashland, kicking things off with the “Dead or Alive” performance, with everybody on the team playing a part to make that happen. It’s also one of the last times some of us were out partying with Howie, and even though we had lost, the guy was still having the time of his life.

I think of all that stuff, and then about how we lost Howie this past fall. I think about how life is too short to stop doing the things you enjoy, and too short to let an opportunity slip by because it might be too tough or you might fail.  So, from here on out, every time a team steps on the field planning on giving us their best shot, let’s draw a line in the sand, step up and give it right back to them.

I gotta tell ya, I like our odds. After all, when we’re playing the biggest games that we have left in this season, just remember that we’ve got an extra man on the field with us. You know what I’m sayin’.

 Reading the title you probably think I'm going to get all religious on you, and that this blog was inspired by something from up above.  Well, it's not, don't worry.  That's not the Haugen BaseBlog style, we leave religion and politics, well, I'm not sure where, but they don't come hang around in this living room.  We're not nearly serious enough to tackle topics like those.

Personally, I like to do the majority of my trash talking to members of my own team, so I rarely direct any of my comments toward the other team.  I estimate that about 65% of my pre-game preparation involves talking trash to Andrew “Bad to the Bone” Mau, which 95% percent of the time results in him responding with some variation of “blah blah blah, your mom.”  It’s completely unoriginal and usually has no relation to what I actually said, yet somehow it’s funny most of the time.  Which brings up another point, who in the hell actually takes mother directed comments seriously anymore, or ever for that matter?  I thought it was made plainly obvious by the 90’s rage of yo mamma jokes that these comments have zero offensive content.  Do people really get pissed off when somebody makes a comment along the lines of “Yo momma’s so fat she plays pool with the planets.” Really?  If she does, that’s actually pretty awesome, and if she doesn’t, then obviously the one making the comment has been misinformed, and you really don’t have much to be mad about other than the fact that you're dealing with a misinformed trash talker.

Whatever your style of trash talking, perfect this art form by practicing often, and on a variety of targets.  You may want to do this mentally, or at least pick your targets wisely, because as funny as it might seem, trash talking your boss, coworkers, family members, or random people on the street may not be the best strategy to get where you want to in life.  That said, run your mouth, have fun, and keep the mothers out of it; not because it’s offensive, the fact is unless you’re Mau, it just really isn’t all that funny.

P.S.   -   Fred Durst did your mom.  For real.

For the record, that actually turned out to be my favorite walk-up from last year, and I’m shocked and embarrassed that I didn’t realize its potential right away.

Journey Greatest Hits CD – Looks like we’re starting off with garbage, eh?  This gift might have been sweet, well, I guess I can’t really think of a time where this gift would have been sweet, so we’ll go with never.  Yeah, I know they have a lot of big hits, and you can probably recall times where I might have sang right along with a Journey song.  I’m somewhat ashamed of it, but I’m all for having a good time, and something has to play between the Limp Bizkit and Bon Jovi songs.

What are Grandma and Grandpa doing in the picture?

How long ago was this picture taken?

Ok, I’m back, on to the second half of our readers’ Christmas gifts.  I hate to say it, but I’ve really been disappointed so far with the exception of the Grandma and Grandpa picture - I’m still thinking of the possibilities…

Bon Jovi collector edition CD/DVD pack – I have two definite thoughts about this gift.  One, I’m 99% sure that Derc emailed this one in through a random email address.  I was thinking the other possible 1% might be Travis sending this in as joke, but the email wasn’t typed in all capital letters so I can pretty much rule him out.  Thought number two; if it wasn’t Travis that emailed this in, he punched the screen of his computer when he saw this gift on the list.  He probably then proceeded to  say something like, “Goddddddddd, Those guys are so gay, and so is Bon Jovi.” Wrong, Travis, you're so wrong.

Are you &%@#&%$ kidding me?!?!  Who uses liquid paper anymore?  Who in this world can still find a trapper keeper let alone an actual reason to use one?  Who the hell works in an office where you have to provide these supplies yourself? 

Anyway, one of my guilty pleasures is semi to pretty-bad reality TV.  I’m a huge Real World/Road Rules challenge fan, and for years I considered applying for the Real World, only so I could sell myself as the perfect competitor for a Real World/Road Rules challenge.  Had I taken the time to apply for the show and actually get selected, I would have spent every possible minute working out, doing puzzles, climbing everything in sight, creating multiple alliances, figuring out how to get my roommates kicked off the show, and of course, shirtless binge drinking and trash talking.  People would have watched the show and go, wow, this guy is a real asshole; but he’d be perfect for The Challenge…

Yeah, I enjoy reality TV.  What I've been hooked on lately is the ____ of Love/I Love ____ type shows.  If you can put up with the asinine plots of these shows, the show itself is kind of sweet for us guys.  The basic recipe is a serving of half-dressed attractive women (many who have had certain surgical procedures) along with an assortment of toolshed guys who make you feel better about your own life. 

Before I get into my next point, two things:  One, Bret Michaels and his people are geniuses.  The guy’s career was pretty much washed up, but then somebody comes to him and says, hey, Bret, check this idea out.  Let’s copy that crazy dude that's always wearing a clock (yeah boyeee!) and get you a show where you date a bunch of dumb strippers, you'll pretend to fall in love with one of them, and in the end you can throw out a line like “under different circumstances this would have worked,” and we'll just do it all over again in a few months.  Brilliant.

My second point, is I am partially responsible for Bret’s comeback.   Some of you might know that he performed at Rice Lake Aquafest on Friday, June 17, 2005, which is more popularly known as the day before my 21^st birthday.  I am absolutely positive that following my lead, a rowdy Rice Lake crowd sparked a nation-wide passion for Bret Michaels not witnessed since 1988.

But I digress, on to Bret’s newest show, Rock of Love – Tour Bus.  Bret may kill himself before the end of this one, honestly.  I think his producer and crew are playing a mean joke on him.  Instead of bringing in a bunch of attractive women who had at least tolerable personalities, they found some of the dumbest and annoying chicks on earth, and packed them into two tour buses.  Don’t get me wrong, some of them have a lot of talent, if you know what I’m saying, but I can’t even look at one of the contestants without getting uncomfortable.  There is a girl on the show that looks like the lovechild of a clown and a lake sturgeon.  She must have fallen out of a really, really tall ugly tree, hit every branch, and while she was laying there, the tree fell down.  On top of her.  But then, some crafty and devious woodworkers came along, lathed a couple dozen baseball bats from the ugly wood (which splinters quite a bit less than maple), and proceeded to beat any attractiveness out of her that might have been left.  Then they pushed her off an ugly cliff into an ugly lake, which is where the producers of Rock of Love –Tour Bus found her. 

Peace.

On with the baseball.  So, big news in MLB right now, especially for Twins fans around the country.  Twins billionaire owner Carl Pohlad passed away on Monday at the age of 93.  If you want to read an article that has factual information and is actually worth reading, head here.  If not, I’ll sum things up in the famous words of Robert Matthew Van Winkle, “Love it or leave it, you better gain weight, you better hit bulls eye the kid don’t play.”  In other words, my own, some liked Carl, lots were frustrated by the close grip he kept on his wallet, and the rest have gone to read an article about Pohlad that is actually worth reading.  Carl Pohlad kicked ass at making money, had the right to spend it however he wanted, and if you don’t like it, sorry about your luck.  I think that entire last paragraph might have been a waste of time…

So, like I mentioned on the home page, lots of ideas are swirling around about this website, and shockingly we have actually acted on some of them.  One being the very blog you are reading, and the other is snatching up rights to the domain name, so you can now get to this awesome site by typing in www.haugenknights.com.  We are sooooo official now.

Let’s face it, this blog entry is terrible. You'll find that I tend to link to a variety of other things in my posts to divert attention from the garbage actually being written on the page.  That said, I’m going to do all of us a favor, end this post, provide a quote, a youtube link, and hope for better luck next time. 

“Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.”

                -Ted Williams