"You Know You Are A Soccer Family When..."
    Submitted By Coach Jamie Howard

You know you are a soccer family when...

*  You have owned every style of camping chair ever made.

*  You feel you have never met a linesman that knows how to call
off-sides properly.

*  Your kid takes a wallop to the nose, and you first thought is that
he/she needs to quit crying or be subbed out because time is running out
in the game.

*  You know where every elementary, middle and high school, college and
park with a soccer field in the Metro area is and you know where the
closest Starbucks, McDonald's, Jamba Juice and Subway is to each of
those fields.

*  You know how to get to all of the above without getting lost.

*  Your gas credit card bills are larger than your second mortgage.

*  All of your vacation time is taken up with tournaments.

*  You know where the closest grocery stores to the practice fields are
because that is where you do your shopping.

*  You have seen all kinds of movies in between tournament games that
you NEVER would have watched otherwise.

*  There are posters of Englishmen and Brazilians in your house.

*  You feel compelled to point out hand balls to 65 year old refs with
thick glasses.

*  The kids on your team are "aggressive" but the kids on the other team
"play dirty".

*  You have been to several cities that have wonderful tourist
attractions, but have only seen soccer fields, hotels, car rental
counters, and airports.

*  On the rare weekend your child does not have a game you look for
something soccer related to do like go the game of a friend's child.

*  Your closest friends are the parents of your child's teammates.

*  While watching the documentary "SuperSize Me", you and your spouse
realize you have come close to duplicating that diet many times during
the season.

*  You receive at least three copies of "Eurosport" catalog in the mail
in one week.

*  You wish you had bought stock in the Igloo company because you have
owned every possible cooler and water bottle they have ever made.

*  When someone asks you how old your child is, you respond "He's U10".

*  You have not celebrated your anniversary in 3 years or more because
it always falls on a practice or game day.

*  You drive home from a game complaining about the condition of the
playing field and its adverse affect of your kid's game, only to have
your spouse point out the 14 inch high grass in your yard that has not
been mowed in 2 weeks because you haven't been home a single weekend to
get it done.

*  You look forward to Monday so that you can go back to work and relax.


*  You own a 2 year old SUV with 180,000 original miles.

*  The mats in your car are never free of dried grass and mud.

*  You have a rule about never removing shin guards inside of the car.

*  Your child's "good shoes" are his/her newest pair of cleats.

*  You and your spouse spend all weekend at soccer games.  In different
counties.  With different kids.  And talk on the cell phone only to
compare scores.  And don't see each other until Sunday night.

*  You are ok with spending $140 on soccer cleats, but are appalled when
the materials for your child's science project costs $45