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The Very Best of Eat Pies: Issue Two
I hope you all enjoyed the time warp that was the review of Eat Pies Issue One. I hear you've all been very well behaved (except those spreading rumours about Tree's mum), so here's the very best of issue two...
EAT PIES - AN APOLOGY
Everyone here at ‘Eat Pies’ would like to apologise to Mr R Bethell of 9S. In the last issue, his name was published in an article written by a Mr. A Ward of the ‘Eat Pies’ staff. We know that he was concerned about the whole incident, so the editorial staff decided that the only decent thing to do would be to apologise. We are sorry for any distress this may have caused Mr Bethell, or his
family, and it will not happen again.
Mr Bethell has not received a cash payment from any member of ‘Eat
Pies’ regarding the incident.
Make Pies with Paul - Pie Recipe of the Week
Fruit Pie
Ingredients
200g Be-Ro Rough Puff Pastry (No Mr E jokes please)
750g Fruit of your choice
Sugar to taste
Method
1. Prepare fruit, sweeten and simmer with a little water for
15 mins then let cool.
2. Fill a dish with fruit, placing a pie funnel in the centre.
3. Roll out pastry into an oval slightly larger than your pie dish.
4. Cut off a 1cm strip right round.
5. Dampen the edge of the dish, place the strip around, and
dampen again.
6. Cover the pastry and seal the edge firmly.
7. Trim and brush with beaten egg milk.
8. Bake in a hot oven (230 degrees cel, 450 degrees far. Gas
Mark 8) for ten minutes, then reduce the heat until golden brown.
9. Dust the top with icing or caster sugar.
Next time, we’ll show you how to make some mince pies for
Santa! Also, if there’s anyone who actually bothers to make
the pie, please let us know, and we’ll do a feature about it.
Eat PiE:mail - eatpies@sportsmail.com
Who’s e:mailed us this week? Read on to find out...
Sent by: Andy Woodward & friends
Date: Monday 16th nov, 1.11pm
Subject: hello!
Comments: hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sent by: The chairman of POLO.TM ltd!
Date: Tuesday 17th nov. 10.32am
Subject: POLO
Comments: GOOD DAY , I AM E-MAILING YOU FROM POLO.TM LIMITED. I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU OF A GREAT TOURNAMENT AT BRADS HOUSE.25
TARNBECK DRIVE, COME AT 1PM ON THE 21ST OF NOVEMBER. WE WILL PLAY GREAT GAMES AND HAVE A GOOD LAUGH ALSO MY GREAT UNCLE WILL BE THERE- I.P. FREELY.
Sent by: An Eat Pies fan
Date: Tuesday 17th nov. 10.37am
Subject: I LOVE EAT PIES!
Comments: I bought Eat Pies, and thought it was great! I loved the PlayStation page and the pic of Paul Marsden. I made the pie ands thought it was great!!! I love Eat Pies!! ?????? ???????? :-)
Sent by: Gelthew Silcock
Date: Tuesday 17th nov. 12.06pm
Subject: Meatballs
Comments: Special meatball offer at the Black Bull in Mawdesley ,thought you’d like to know! From Gelthew Silcock
Sent by: U.P. Freely
Date: Tuesday 17th nov. 11.01pm
Subject: Gossip
Comments: I have heard from my best friend that Paul Marsden is hosting the 'hairiest legs competition' -at 25 Tarnbeck Drive, Mawdesley (1PM 21 of November)-House next to the paper-shop. From U.P. Freely
Sent by: Roger Errington
Date: Sunday 15th nov. 10.22pm
Subject: Your Mag
Comments: Be warned. Your magazine is absolute Poo and the only decent bit was the Paul Marsden Picture. Well, actually it was quite a funny mag, and I must say I was sort of impressed. But only a teensy weensy bit. My message is that you should watch out. A rival magazine, which will be much better than yours (apparently) is being worked on now by some scottish bloke calles Ste McCartridge, or something like that. It will be called EAT KABOOM! Ste is nicking all your ideas and doing and adding a few of his own. Ste thinks
he's hard, but he probably isn't. I shall not be buying either
magazine, as I am working too much on EAT WOOD, the ultimate newspaper which should settle the competition once and for all. Yours, the Demon Pie Scoffer. Email me at Piescoffer.demon.co.uk
(GUESS WHO I REALLY AM, AND YOU COULD WIN A SIGNED AUTOGRAPH OF BEANY THE DOG!!) GIVE YOUR ANSWERS TO WOODY OR A.J. GOOD LUCK!!!
In And Out
IN OUT
B.R.F.C. Bakayoko penalty
South Park Worden Park
Electronics Steriophonics
Central Perk Metalwork
Steps Canteen chips
Richard’s hair Tony Blair
BRAD
You may have been wandering recently about where a certain B. Kirk is. Well, if you don’t know, he’s at home recovering from broken/ strained ankle ligaments, which were closely followed by a bout of tonsilitis, which lead to the removal of the offending object. He’s slowly recovering at home,after taking two weeks off, and is expected to return before the end of the month. All but three of us here at the Pie Office would like to wish him a full recovery, but not too quickly, because we’re scared of his eyes.
Editor's Notes: The Post-script
Here's a factoid for the anoracks amongst you all: issue two was the only edition of Eat Pies to appear in full colour. The magazine also expanded from eight to twelve pages, though this experiment didn't last long, soon reverting to a four/eight page publication depending on contributions. For the biggest Eat Pies fans, a back page advert placed by Stephen Ward of Leyland firm Ad-Options offered Eat Pies t-shirts and polo shirts, modelled by a year seven student who's always considered himself to be at the height of fashion...
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