10 Reasons to Hate Red Sox Fans
There Are Actually 101 Reasons, But Here Are the Ten Best

BY: James Lincoln Ray

So, without further delay, here are the Top 10 Reasons to Hate Red Sox Fans.

#1. After all those years of incessant whining and crying about how losing builds special character, they finally win and exhibit no grace or dignity or "character" whatsoever.

#2. Cowboy Up! This may have been the most ridiculous rallying cry in sports history. New England Cowboys. Just like George W. Bush.

#3. Red Sox Nation. Is this a joke? As if the Yankees, Dodgers, Cubs, Giants, Mets and Braves don't have millions of fans throughout the country. And most of those fans, unlike this sudden wave of instant Red Sox rooters, actually follow their teams and don't just wear the cool-looking hats.

Just for the record, it costs $199.95 to join the Ultimate Fan Group of Red Sox Nation. This level of membership comes with the right to purchase two tickets in the Green Monster seats -- for another $140 a pop. You also get a laminated membership card!

Even their own team takes advantage of Red Sox fans.

#4. Now, They Hate Manny Ramirez, the MVP of their miracle 2004 World Series victory and a man who averaged 36 home runs and 115 RBI a season during his seven full years with the team. Sure, Manny got out of line this year, and sure, maybe he had to be traded, but do you Bosox fans need to hate him? Have you no respect for the man who pulled you from the edge of the abyss? Have you no understanding of Manny's place in baseball history? He's the best right-handed hitter since Joe DiMaggio, and to tell the truth, he may be a better hitter than the Yankee Clipper.

#5. They absolutely skewered Bill Buckner for his fielding gaffe in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series.

Buckner was a wonderful ballplayer and a really decent guy. He collected 2,715 hits in his career. In 1986, he was one of the best hitters on the team. He smacked 18 home runs, collected 102 RBI and was the club's top slugger in September.

Yet after he misplayed a Mookie Wilson ground ball in the final inning of that tragic Game 6 loss, Boston fans were so cruel to Buckner that he had to flee the city. Fans have recent'y tried to reinvent history and claim that they never blamed Buckner. Don't believe it. They crucified the guy. He had to move to Idaho, for God's Sake! Way to stick by your players, BoSox fans.

#6. Sweet Caroline. The Royal Rooters must be rolling over in their graves when the drunken bandwagon hoppers break into this Neil Diamond sap-fest.

#7. Ben Affleck. Star of Gigli. Former Mr. Jennifer Lopez. Secretary of State for Red Sox Nation.

#8. Fever Pitch. This is the worst movie ever made, and it's about a Red Sox fan. That couldn't just be a coincidence, could it?

#9. The Sports Guy. ESPN's Bill Simmons is the prototypical Red Sox fan, or so he claims, and he stinks out loud. Every single article that he writes is exactly the same: Red Sox, Patriots, dumb joke about a sitcom, and then a stupid remark about one of his buddies, all of whom seem to have ridiculously annoying nicknames like Burp, Pooper, or the Diaper.

Didn't he say that he was gonna "Die in Peace?" Uh, when?

#10. Hypocrisy, Hypocrisy, Hypocrisy

Take a good, long look at the Red Sox 2004 World Series roster. Every pitcher, and every single starting position player with the lone exception of Trot Nixon, did not come up through the Red Sox system.

That's right. Manny Ramirez, Pedro Martinez, Curt Schilling, David Ortiz, Johnny Damon, Keith Foulke, Bill Mueller, Kevin Millar, Dave Roberts, and Orlando Cabrera were all high-priced free agents or acquired through trades.

Now, examine their 2007 payroll. It's $165 million. That is higher than all but one team in baseball.

This is not a small market club of scruffy underpaid underdogs. These are the New York Yankees, except they are located 300 miles to the northeast.

Despite the club's obvious mercenary approach in recent years, Red Sox fans are always the first to accuse other teams of "buying their championships."
In Conclusion

This article could go on and on. And On. And On.

Of course, there are plenty of real Red Sox fans out there. For those if you who lived through the horrors of 1946, 1967, 1975, 1978, 1986, and 2003, you have earned the right to be as annoying as you want to be.

Cowboy Up!