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MIKE ROURKE CURSED RED, GREEN WINS CHAMPIONSHIP
April 8, 2009
The dreaded curse of first place team in regular season never winning the Championship in the same season continues swallowing its latest victim Team Red. As it turns out, the biggest curse for Team Red was Green’s Mike Rourke, voted by the Field Reporters Association as the 2009 Playoff MVP. Green’s Air Hog was on full flight scoring five goals and two assists to break the 1979 record held by tin can collector and line mate Jack Hubert, who scored six points and was also the MVP for the then Green team in an identical 9-5 score.
The game started with Team Red scoring quickly by Red Captain Peter McCusker on a pass from Jeff Jones, who was on a high from a pre-game Glen Livet toast. The highs flattened out as the air hog Mike snapped a mid-air drop into the top corner during a face-off. After Red JP Mayer counted on a breakaway backhand to get the Red back to a 2-1 lead, it was all downhill for them as the curse began in the second half. Couple of howitzers from Mike Tinmouth and Dan Gaudet jumping on the rebounds started the onslaught as Red’s goaltender George Tan just could not get his lateral moves and the shuffles going. Game was still within reach when Red’s Dan Lowe and Dan Goodale scored a couple to get to within one with plenty of time left, but on this night, the leak between the pipes and the curse agent Mike Rourke was just too much. As Champions, Team Green is the all time leader in the cup department with 9 cups, one more than Gold.
Some BOHA records, news and awards ….
Brad Belvedere, with three consecutive championship rings is now tied with Geoff Kinnear.
Ted Jackson now has seven championship rings, two behind recently retired BOHA Hall of Famer Ron Burla.
Team Red was voted as the best gourmet post game meals by BOHA Culinary Committee, measured by the net increase of team gross weight from season opener to end of season, Team Red has a net + 97.3 lbs. over second place finisher Team Black. Team White, with a net loss of 56 lbs. as budget problems saw the team with only a couple of bags of pretzels on a few occasions, accepted from Team Black Dr. Francois Gilbert, the BOHA Doctor Association Health award.
BOHA announcements:
BOHA Registrar reports that BOHA registration is very healthy. Many spares on the waiting list have sent in their deposits. Next year draft is scheduled soon. Those regulars who want to keep their place deposit quickly.
BOHA golf tournament is Tuesday, June 9 at Ile Perrot Golf Club from about 12:30 PM. Keith Bertoia is the organizer.
BOHA banquet and award night is on April 25. More news will be given by your Team Rep. Location is probably at Johnny Mac’s MacDonald Campus.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
Players On Edge Waiting For Blockbuster Trades
September 17, 2008
With week 4 games completed, the biggest topic circulating among the players is the supplemental draft soon to happen. For the first time in a year, news leaked out that as much as eight players from five teams and one Team White 2029 draft pick, likely to be Digiacomo junior who is currently with the Lakeshore Espoir AAA midget program will be traded. BOHA draft committee members are busy looking through each player’s contract while some are holding out for little quirks like more dressing room space, more beverages and better water bottles. VP on ice Mike Rourke, who has to validate the final draft, had a preview of the proposal and all indication is these blockbuster trades will be announced soon via satellite in the tournament social room during BOHA 10th Anniversary Charity Tournament.
Team Red, positioned to finish fifth when the season started, continues to shine. With four breakaway goals and a stopped penalty shot, Red managed to squeak by Team Green 5-4, who abandoned their shinny hockey style and out chances Team Red most of the game. Led by Team Red’s roadrunner Jeff Jones two goals, Team Red is now under heavy scrutiny to give up a top notch unrestricted free agent or lose their beverage quota. In a secret ballot meeting, it is reported that Team Red voted 14-0 with abstention by Red’s top notch defenceman Jamie Heward to keep the quota. Team Green, short by a goal on most of their losses, is just a goal or two short from stabilizing the team, according to Green’s Air hog Mike Rourke, boss of the Balancing Committee.
BOHA’s strongest teams Blue and Black, show why they have the most players under reviewed. Without some of the top players, these two teams still exhibited a classic game until a few late goals allowed Team Blue to win 7-4. Surprisingly, both teams voted 29-1 to keep their beverage quotas as well to the chagrin of that single player who questions Team Blue loyalty program initiated by Dan Latreille.
Team White, under budget and under staffed, pulled some rabbits out of the hat and showed Team Gold that their 3-2 win is no fluke despite missing team motivator and Viagra king Claude Lapointe, who is out searching for post game meal sponsors. Gold, who may be playing the possum game, rested their two golden D’s, player agent nephew Scott Meehan, Chicago draft pick Ralph Difiore and green laced wonder boy Pascal Gagnon just to bring the team down a notch, at least till the draft passes by.
Who's on the block? Who's packing? Tune in or visit BOHA 10th Anniversary Social Room for the blockbuster trade announcement !!!!!
Cheers,
Field Reporter
BOHA Announces BLOCKBUSTER Trades
In a historic move, BOHA today announces a record seven player blockbuster trades between five teams. As announced by league president Andy Leroux during a press conference attended by reporters from as far as Beaconsfield Boulevard, he described these moves were necessary as attendance at the Team White home rink was declining while the team struggled through the first four games. Echoed by league legal counsel and part time marketing Director Glen Brown, some of the moves are also for strategic marketing. Glen pointed out that having donut king Tim Horton and Dagwood sandwiches, two competitors who have been battling for market shares in the post game food distribution in the same team may not be healthy for the league.
As team captains of each team affected are now scrambling to contact their new players which are in effect for the next game, BOHA news department has published the following trades:
Dan Latreille from Blue to White
Jamie Heward from Red to White
Grant Thomas from White to Blue
Pierre Tardif from White to Red
Eugene Bunis from Green to Gold
Dan Gaudet from Gold to Green
Mike Montagano to spare for Dan LaFrance of Blue until he returns
Cheers,
Field Reporter
Team Red Regular Season Champs As BOHA Prepares For 2009 playoffs Centennial Gala
February 25, 2009
BOHA, celebrating its distinguish centennial year in roman Julian xp 2.1 calendar version, finishes the 100th regular season with numerous records broken among them the most missed assignments by a field reporter. The league, watching its fiscal responsibility in this tough economic time, has made a donation to the Field Reporters Union for a one reporting assignment. Sending its lowest paid Field reporter on a one assignment contract, Field Reporter, who has been covering the Phoenix Coyotes in the frigid Jobing.Com arena, was seen in the BOHA media suite, witnessing a number of records broken in the last regular season night.
In the intro game, Teams Green and Black battled it out with Black trying to seal second place to get the coveted “One 11PM” game in the Playoffs. Green, who is trying to stay out of the basement and looking over their shoulders from the charging Team White, fought hard but with Air Hog Mike Rourke, hard checked by Black’s Dr. Francois Gilbert, was unable to take off like most of his flights, losing 4-1 and minus 4 for the night. With this important win, Team Black is in the best shape and favoured by Vegas as the team to beat in the playoffs. Led by stalwart defenceman Geoff Kinnear, who has the most consecutive championship trophies with three championship rings and two MVP awards.
Seeded as the team to win it all when the season started, Team Gold hovered around the mediocre side and was poised to win the wimp of the year award until their franchise player Ralph Difiore had a team talk on the ABC’s of the game. Since the talk, Team Gold has the best record, backed by their new number one goalie, Pierre Lacoste and almost won the regular season had Team White not scored to tie them 2-2. Team White, 2009 version, establishes the record of spending the entire season in the dark wine cellar despite having the best second half record behind Gold. Had the season been 4 games longer, Team White could have been in first place. With this encouragement, Team White’s CEO Yves Quenneville, who is celebrating his 800 games with his only team, has been encouraging his team mates to look at the beautiful colors of the light at the end of the tunnel, confusing Team Rep, Rob Spenser how Yves could make such a statement.
Team Red, hanging on to first place and in danger of losing it to Gold, held their celebration plan for a few hours longer to listen to the inspiring talk of their team captain, Peter McCusker, who also quadruple-up as BOHA tournament ticket peddler, registrar, team rep and Field Reporter trainee, while legal counsel Glen “body check” Brown prepares the post game celebration of roman grapes, salmon a la pack, pita bread with cream spread, solid block cheese, sweet desserts all set on a metal top table. Voted by West Island Culinary Institute as BOHA best Post game Delight team, Team Red with renewed confidence fought hard to get the equalizer and sealed the regular season championship by one point in the 3-3 tie with Team Blue. Trailing most of the game, with a goal down, less than two minutes and on the short end of a 5 on 3 penalty kill against Team Blue potent power play, Red’s all-around player, Dan Lowe, turned Blue’s defenceman, Rob Ouellete all around before breaking away capping Red’s successful season with the last goal of the 2009 regular season with a back hand slider. Team Blue Andy Leroux, BOHA president and owner of his successful power skating school, sadly registered Rob in the upcoming session, a special course for advanced Pewee C level on reverse cross over pivot on the outside edge, mesmerizing Rob who is only beginning to feel comfortable with his reverse C cuts in the last two weeks.
Odds and ends and some BOHA centennial facts ……………………
Team parity continues at BOHA. Only 7 points separated the six teams. The last lowest was 8 points 76 years ago, Julian XP 1.2 calendar version. All teams managed to have at least 20 points, a BOHA record. Only 3 points separated the first four teams. Team Red won the most regular season with 39 but never won the playoffs when finished in first place. Team Black finished in second place a record 41 times and has won the Playoffs championship 26 times when finished in second place. The only team that finished in last place during regular season and won the playoffs was Team White, when Dan “Oh yo yoy” Thibault, who is on a Kovalev rest in Naples, scored a break away goal on Jim Straughton, who is now White’s goaltender.
Vegas latest odds:
Team Black 4-1
Team Gold 6-1
Team White 8-2
Team Red 17-4
Team Blue 28-9
Team Green 1090000023456.87 US – 1
Final Standings:
1. Red. 2. Black. 3. Gold. 4. Blue. 5. Green. 6. White
Cheers,
Field Reporter
Teams Gold and White Lead Playoff. BOHA Investigates Roster Maneuvering By Gold
March 11, 2009
The real teams are now surfacing in the 2009 playoff. With two games completed, two teams remain undefeated while the early favourites Teams Black and Blue are on the brinks of elimination.
With BOHA computer on the glitz, replacement player requests by some teams got stuck in the wireless somewhere with some teams unable to field a third line especially for the Black, defencemen who could skate backwards.
The crucial first game saw Team Black desperately negotiating with Team Gold self-proclaimed captain Andre Martin to provide a player or two to no avail. With the computer not functioning, Black's protest did not get through to BOHA headquarter.
Alan Turpin, Black interim captain for the night, managed to Google BOHA archive and attempted to use the unwritten rule in Bylaw chapter 6.8, paragraph 158 which states that “When a team’s manpower has less than two third of the sum of the two competing teams, the other team must turn over their replacement players to the lesser team”. Andre Martin, known as a brilliant master roster tactician, countered with paragraph 159, confusing Alan, in the league for only three years, who thought there are only 158 paragraphs.
It was predictable that despite an early goal by Black, Gold would unleash their newly formed power line of Ralph Difiore, Arnold Dort and Scott Meehan beating Black handily 7-2, almost relegating them to the spoiler role for the rest of the playoff games.
With the controversial win, Gold is sitting where they want to be and is looking good to defend their 2008 title. With the loss, Team Black has recalled their player personnel manager, pea grower Marc Lemery in France on a scouting mission for a team with many pea shooters.
Team Red, welcoming their leading scorer Kurt Legler back after spending the past 18 games on the sideline with a lower body injury, got a much needed boost and survived the onslaught by Team Blue to hold on to a 4-3 win. Kurt, with 20 of the team’s 21 goals before being sidelined, scored a goal and setting up a few others. This mark the first game since Christmas break that Team Red, who has scored an average of less than 2 goals per game since Kurt’s injury, finally scoring four. While the weight is still on the shoulders, they are seeing some lights in breaking the curse of the first place team never winning the Playoffs.
With both teams going into the match looking for a second win to solidify their positions as finalists in the Championship game, Team White was just a bit hungrier than Team Green winning 4-2 despite missing their top two draft picks Dr. H and Dan “Awol” Latreille. Ted Jackson, BOHA replacement player VP and IT services, also doubling up as Green’s goaltender, was still thinking about his earlier wireless glitches and let in two early goals. Team Green anchor man, Paul “Bambi” Prevost, could be seen showing some encouragement to Ted, but on this night, there was just too much to think about to recover.
Odds n ends ………
Into the third game of the 2009 Playoff, Las Vegas has revealed the new complicated odds. Team Gold is now the favourite to win it all at 2-1 followed by White 5-2. Team Red is still in the picture 18-1. Team Green has moved up to 10000456 - 100 with Blue and Black at the end at US 1029384756 – CAD 50 cents.
Jim Pitt, our staunch supporter and loyal field report reader, sends his regard from Vancouver. Read his comments in the Guestbook section. Hi Jim, looking forward to your return.
Darien, Connecticut trip ……………
The Darien hockey exchange with our good friends down south and New York side trip is on March 27 - 29. Talk to or call up Spiro Krallis and John McIntosh to get the details. For those spares who want to join the BOHA family as regulars, this trip is brownie point opportunity time and the first glimpse of what BOHA is about.
League news …………
With the replacement players’ fiasco in game two, BOHA replacement player VP and IT services, TED Jackson tendered his resignation. After a lengthy meeting with BOHA President Andy Leroux’ and VP counsel Glen Brown, Ted Jackson came out with a smile with a 5 year contract and a new position, VP Spare coordinator.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
White, Gold, Red and Green Still In Playoff Picture
March 18, 2009
Facing elimination, Team Green captain Paul Prevost, sent his top sniper Mike Rourke to a Kovalev rest and brought in Ken Rowe, hoping to rejuvenate the team and get back into playoff contention. Leading 3 – 0 and coasting, a couple of long shots by Team Blue captain Chris Wright handcuffed the new VP, Spare coordinator, Ted Jackson making the game more interesting. However on a night when both goaltenders had trouble seeing past the hash mark, it was a case of the team with the last two long shots coming out on top. With the 5-4 win, Team Green is back in the playoff picture as a long shot given the rest of their games are on the road.
Player of the game: Joey Stratti, Team Green
The game of the night features two teams favoured by Las Vegas to be the finalists in the Championship game three weeks from now. A win by Team White or Gold will put the winner in the driver seat. Leading 1 – 0 after a lacrosse backhand slider by Gold’s Bruce McCullogh, it appears that Team Gold was going to cake walk Team White. However, with Team White’s goaltender Jim Straughton, peaking at the right time, a few crucial saves here and a sharp angle goal there started the comeback and the 4-2 win to catapult Team White into the top seed to qualify for the Championship game. Another win next week will seal the deal and break their own record of the last place team to be in the Championship game. Team Gold, with the loss is still in the picture but now has to win their next two games to have a chance of defending their Boha cup.
Player of the Game: Jim Straughton, Team White
Knowing what they had to do to continue the drive to break the curse of first place team never winning the championship game, Team Red took advantage of sloppy defence and leaky goaltending by Team Black to go ahead 3-0 before the game was ten minute old. Taking advantage of Team Black’s goaltender Ross McKay’s lanky feature and higher centre of gravity, Red’s Dan Lowe, back from a seminar given by cousin Kevin Lowe of the Oilers, counted a few with the Lowe special dippers to lead Team Red to a 9-2 rout. Dollard Leblanc, Black’s steadiest defenceman in the game with a minus 5 tried to upstart all their big guns but on this night, on the brink of elimination, it made more sense saving his energy for the upcoming golf trip.
Player of the Game: Dan Lowe, Team Red
Between the pipes……………
Boha announced tickets for the premium seats are sold out for the Red and Gold game next week. The remaining two games will be offered for free in their new stimulus package plan.
Grant Thomas, Boha spare collection clerk, has agreed to end his hold out after being promised to have his title re-evaluated. He is now Assistant to the VP, Spare Coordinator.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
Red White and Green Still In Playoff Race
March 25, 2009
The BOHA 2009 playoffs season is as unpredictable as the financial market. Teams who have been on a roll not too long ago have dropped down to junk status. The latest casualty is Team Gold joining both Blue and Black on the sideline with no hope of getting a stimulus package to get back into the playoff picture.
In the crucial game where the winner most likely will go on to the championship game, both Red and Gold had a pre game preparation rituals in their dressing rooms. Feeling a bit of aid is needed from an outside agency; a team prayer of some unknown denomination was said by the team’s jack of all trades Peter McCusker. Team Gold, confident as they should, chose the more traditional x’s and o’s discussion concentrating more on the Kruzichless lineup formation designed to allow the 2009 rookie of the year nominee Ralph Difiore the ice time to maximize his howitzer shots.
With confidence and some unknown divine intervention, Team Red stepped on the ice feeling a little bit lighter and quicker to counter Team Gold’s Kruzichless strategy and quickly jumped ahead to a 4-0 lead. Unfortunately for Gold, this was all Red’s goaltender George Tan needed as all shots fired from all angles were somehow steered towards his blocker, arms, chest, pads, stick and other parts of the anatomy. Even West Island lacrosse legend Bruce McCullogh, whose only chance to score early in the game with his famous lacrosse slider was denied. With the offensive work done, Red’s assistant coaches Glen Brown and Mark Uchwat rolled the lines religiously for a convincing 6-1 win. Team Red now holds the key to be the first team in BOHA history to break the dreaded curse.
Just as important, Team Black, a chance to solidify their reputation as a spoiler, failed miserably, again. Leading 3-0 against Team Green and to have the Green join them as spectators in the championship game, they went into a defensive shell and allowed Green to chip away to a 6-4 win and stay in the playoff race. For Team Black, still with no points in the standings, is very close to getting the figure skate award at the closing banquet. They must win against Team Blue next week.
Equally important for both teams but for different reasons, Team White, voted the most improved team since the trading deadline and Las Vegas new favourite to win it all, stayed and played hard to come back three times to tie Team Blue 3-3, continuing their quest to become the second last place team to win it all. Team Blue, who has the record with the most figure skate award with 19, had a pre-game huddle on the ice to remind each other that losing is not an option on this night. Desperate to get away from the stigma as the most “Challenged playoffs performer”, Blue’s big Joe Marchildon gave BOHA President Andy Leroux the green light to wait at the blue line all game long. With one point each to show for the night; both teams were more or less satisfied with the outcome, much to the chagrin of Team Red, who was rooting for the Blue all game long.
BOHA Tie Breaking Department news:
Ninety analysts are now scrambling to see what the rules are. It is more than likely all three teams in the running could come out all tied up. Tune in for all the different tie breaking versions ….
From BOHA Travel Agency:
Darien Trip is this Friday. Bus leaves 8am from Beaconsfield Arena. Those that have forgotten, get in touch with Johnny MacIntosh or Spiro Krallis. There’s talk by some of making a side trip to see the New Jersey game. With the New York escapade on Saturday, Jersey game, big savings on Rolex, Gucci and of course the hockey games against the Darien boys, there is really nowhere you’d rather be than on this trip.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
Green and Red In The Championship Game
With the stake high for some teams and not so high for others, the 5th and final games of the playoff round robin got under way. With the aggressive publicity and the hype created by BOHA PR department, the rink was full of standing room only crowd chanting and raving for their favourite teams.
Teams Blue and Black as expected came out flying with both teams trying to fill the nets knowing that the loser will have to pick up the “Figure Skate” trophy and apply for readmission to the league for the 2009-10 season. The game did not disappoint those looking for goals as Team Black went up 3-0 very quickly only to be tied up with still ten minutes left in the first half. To make a long story short, Team Black came out on top 8-4 boasting that all the goals were scored by those who went to Darien this past week-end. Unfortunately for both teams, they square off again next week in the Championship gala as filler game beginning at 7PM.
Touted as the real Championship game, Team Red had their destiny in their own hands. Early news from the league 90 analysts using the latest analytical software indicated that Red must win to be in the Championship game. Team White on the other hand, leading the playoff standings with a 3-0-1 record only needed a tie to put them in. Team Red senior spokesman Bobby Roe, sensing the importance of the game, made a bold move dispatching Red’s leading scorer Jeff Jones to the phone booth to learn some back checking technique from the Habs and brought in Neil Gargul, who as Bob says, is less risky. After a superb 2 on 1 goal from Dan Lowe to Kurt Legler, Red back checkers kept Team White shooters at bay until Red defenceman Pierre Tardif had a temporary brain cramp passing to White’s Ken Labelle who dipsy doodled before passing to Dr. Heseltine and a quick flip to the open top corner. Sticking to the strategic plan, Red’s Peter McCusker soon put the Red ahead 2-1 for good on a scramble with a backhand flip, a move he picked up during the Darien weekend after a near disastrous flip over a manhole after making some comments to a lady with a pooch in Greenwich Village. With defensive play in place, other than a couple of shots from their 5th captain Yves Quenneville from the slot and a harmless breakaway flip by Mark Dubois, it was a matter of time before Glen Brown back hand clear from his own zone went into the empty net for a 3-1 win to put Team Red into the main event next week.
Green, with the vision of going to the final and Gold with no more light at the end of the tunnel, closed off the season in a dismal fashion losing 7-0 to Team Green and now will face Team White in the “Save the face” game, another filler game. Ranked as the number two team when the season started, Team Green played possum long enough till the trading deadline to get Dan Gaudet. This was the turning point for the team as the Tim Horton’s Black Forest donuts supplied weekly increased their goaltender Ted Jackson’s all around profile causing some wraparound problems to Gold’s snipers Arnie Dort, Don Etienne, Rick Wyjad and Gord McClennan who had to cut wider losing their shooting angles. With the convincing win, Team Green is in the Championship game back to back.
ODDS N’ ENDS………….
BOHA late in switch to Daylight Saving time
BOHA Time Division announces that due to resource shortages, forgot to move the game time. Next week games start at 7 PM between Black and Blue, 8:15 between White and Gold with the championship game slated for 9:30PM Beaconsfield time. Tailgate parties to be in the arena rink courtesy of VP House Operations, Spiro Krallis.
BOHA Conflict of Interest Department issues a statement that VP Spare Coordinator, Ted Jackson is suspended till the end of the season.
BOHA announces both teams’ records and roster for the Championship game.
Team Green
Regular season record: Finished 5th, GF 3.79, GA 4.62
Playoff Record: Finished 1st, GF 4.6, GA 2.8
Head to head: Green 3, Red 2
Goal: Ted Jackson
Defence: Claude Dubeau, Jeff Houston, Mike Tinmouth, Paul Prevost (Captain), Joey Stratti
Forwards: Mike Rourke, Robert Bowrin, John MacIntosh, Darrell Irons, Brad Belvedere, Dan Gaudet, Kevin Gill, Louis Pallay, Jack Hubert
Team Red
Regular Season: Finished 1st, GF 4.16, GA 3.37
Playoff Record: Finished 2nd, GF 4.8, GA 2.00
Head to head: Green 3, Red 2
Goal: George Tan
Defence: Glen Brown, Dan Lowe, John Montelpare, Pierre Tardif, Mark Uchwat
Forwards: Kurt Legler, Jeff Jones, Jim Willet, Dan Goodale, Peter McCusker (Captain), Terry O’Neill, Bob Roe, Yves Boileau, JP Mayer
Cheers,
Field Reporter
TEAMS SHELVE KEY PLAYERS TO AVOID SUPPLEMENTAL DRAFT SCOUTS
September 10, 2008
With one more game to go before the annual ritual of balancing of the teams, last night games saw a number of teams shelving key players to keep them under the radar eyes of the Balancing Committee.
The two early favorites to be in the championship final show why they are the elite teams of BOHA. With key players shelved away, Team Blue and Team Gold played well enough but allowing Gold to skate away with a 5-4 win. Feeling safe from a roster review, but with the game so close, both teams are still vulnerable to next week’s supplemental draft.
Team White, sponsored by Lac St. Louis Lead Foundry, a subsidiary of St. Lawrence Cement Inc., lived up to their sponsor’s name. With lead blades and cement hands, Team White just could not keep up with Team Red, who now has a record of 2-1 after the 6-1 win. In danger of having their roster reviewed as well, Team Rep and raffle ticket specialist Peter McCusker attempted to deflect the attention by inviting Team White to the post game celebration of Maple Leafs special wrapped smoked meat and potato salad with cole slaw tray, courtesy of Red’s Kurt Legler, who celebrated his first career four goal game. With 7 goals in the early season, Kurt has one more goal than the entire Team White season output prompting Team White’s motivator and Viagra prescriber, Dr. Claude Lapointe, to seek guidance from Kurt how to get his team up for the game.
With a 3-0 record, Team Black had no trouble getting up for their game as they let Team Green to play with them for a period and a half before closing them off with a last shot win strategy to down Team Green 6-5. Team Green, a pre-season favorite to win it all, may be playing possum until the critical balance week goes by.
BOHA Bulletin:
BOHA has cancelled all vacation entitlements of the Balancing Committee members until week 6. Field Reporter has inside information from the Head of the Balancing Committee that as much as six players may be involved in the supplemental draft. However, the final draft validation process will go through a very stringent review protocol to satisfy the three segments within BOHA; those that want their team to win 10-1, those that want 2-2 games and those that want to play shinny hockey.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
BOHA Goalie Union Settles On “Net Differential” Package
September 3, 2008
With BOHA new rule of mandatory retirement after eight goals applied last week, the goalie union threat of a massive walkout was averted in a last minute agreement when chief negotiator Ted Jackson accepted the “Net Differential with two lifelines” rule from BOHA VP COUNSEL Glen Brown. With the new package somewhat settled, the first game of week 2 got underway.
Team Black is establishing itself as the early powerhouse taking advantage of four “Training camp” type goals to defeat Team Red 6-3. Red’s team rep and raffle tickets specialist Peter McCusker insisted that his team will be in real season game shape once the team starts focusing after BOHA 10th Anniversary Invitational tournament which was heartily endorsed by Tournament VP Terry O’Neill. With the win, Black is now the only undefeated team and looking good.
Mentally exhausted after the grueling negotiation, Team Green goalie Ted Jackson is the first goalie to use a lifeline as Team Gold showed no mercy scoring 6 goals in the second period after a tight first period and winning 9-2. Unfortunately for Ted, with eight saves and nine goals against, the net differential of minus one forced him to use a lifeline. In a press release issued through his new agent Ron Burla, Ted, who also moonlights as the spares coordinator, serves notice to the rest of the team reps that he will now have the first crack when calling on replacement players.
Upset that BOHA new president Andrew Leroux ratified the goalie deal, Team Blue goalie David Wood requested that Andrew stay away from a pre-game rally around his net. Trying not to upset the goalie further, Andrew requested team muscleman and former New England Patriot Joe Marchildon to sit with him on the bench till cooler heads prevail. All animosity soon disappears when Leroux righted the situation by scoring four goals to down Team White 5-4. Team White, the only team without a win, is not panicking yet, as the 1994 Team White started in similar fashion and went on to win the championship.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
BOHA SEASON OPENS WITH SHOCKED RETIREMENT OF RON BURLA
August 27, 2008
With the game times shifted and the change to two periods, BOHA started the 2008-09 season with the announcement by Ron Burla’s agent Don Meehan’s Cousin Scott that after 25 years of service, he is hanging up his pads for good. Burla is leaving the league with many distinguish records among them, most playoffs appearances, most playoffs championships, most broken sticks and on and on. In the post game interview, Ron confided that over the years, the puck is starting to get smaller and the post to post lateral moves are taking 3 seconds longer to get to and with the impending reduction of pads size, his knees will be exposed to Wayne Hart’s howitzers. From the Bohaniens to Ron, BEST OF LUCK to your new basket weaving career!!
With renewed energy and high hopes, Team Green and Team Blue opened the season with a fast paced game where both goalies were still trying to shake off the rust. Spotting Blue with a 3-0 lead, Green soon took over by scoring six late goals to win 6-5 and established the league’s first record of most goals in the second period of a two period game and spoiling Blue’s Chris Wright initiation as the new Team Rep.
The second game saw Yves Quenneville broke his own record as Team White longest serving player. Celebrating his 20th straight year with the White and the only player who claims all other teams wear grey jerseys, Yves is slowly mentoring his new Team Rep Bob Spencer into the new role. The learning process will take just a bit longer as Team Black, with pea grower Marc Lemery as the new Team Rep, controlled the game from the start to give his team a 5-3 win.
The finale game of the night but the finale for Ron Burla was a no show for Team Gold both physically and mentally. Team Red, equipped with some replacement players and the help of Gold’s depleted defense corps, sealed Burla’s decision to retire for good pumping in 8 goals and a 8-1 win.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
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