Remember when we were talking about playing in provincials? I would be happy with just qualifying for the FMBA playoffs at this point. Tonight we faced our one nemesis, a pitcher who threw above 75mph for strikes and we surprisingly got shutout again, its like our starting 9 of guys who played in or are playing in college had never seen this unprecedented velocity before. I know I was still a little down from the Wacko Jacko funeral so it was understandable that we got 10 runned in 5 innings; the one highlight was the prayers that this game got postponed due to rain. Next up we play the Stags Saturday, then Ft. Sask again, and 95% chance of a day off on Sunday unless we find 9 new players who actually want to be there to win instead of to sulk in their own suckiness.

 

The "I was the best player on an 8th place men's league team Award" Points

 

15 points - The two guys from the Mets who were throwing a bullpen during the 20-minute rain delay of our game

10 points - Jesse for scorekeeping a fine game

5 points - Drew C, drank 2 beers during the 20-minute rain delay which impressed management

Game one can be summarized by saying Curtis was hungover and pitched crappy, whereas Nelly was sober and had no excuse for sucking. "Throw a strike" was yelled often by our team, other than those two everyone played okay. For future reference, Nelly is not allowed to throw in relief anymore, or against the Dust Devils ever again as he may not have thrown a fastball for a strike against them the past three seasons. If we were to have brought in anyone else to relieve that game, we would have won, way to go Nelly you doochbag. Also, Curtis left the field after being pulled which was amusing to no one.

 

In game two we played Burlo ball, meaning there were no walks issued and surprise we won. We had a record low 10 players for this one due to a wedding, but had enough in the tank to pull out a win.Hewko showed up at the end of this game and was in a rare good mood, and then he got tanked while chirping at the Pirates and Longhorns, it was borderline inappropriate. When asked about some off field incident that happened two seasons ago, Hewko replied "How should I know I've been gassed the past ten years", it might be the funniest thing ever said.

 

Next up we play the Gamecocks on Wednesday where we will attempt to finish off a full cooler for the third game in a row.

 

Cardinal Cup Points

 

Game 1

15 points - Dave H - 3-3, on base all 5 times, and the red cleats really tie the uniform together

10 points - Guy - 3-4, 2 more SB's, needs to mix in a game with 7 SBs to have a chance for 40

5 points - Breen - 2-2, should have been higher in order in this one

HM - Ambach for getting tossed when the game was over (what does that do?)

 

Game 2

15 points -  Ambach - 2-2, came back with a good approach, although didnt stick around for post-games

10 points - Burlo - 7IP, CG, can you teach me how to throw strikes Burlo?

5 points - Shane - played SS and did not show up drunk, wore his cup until 11 pm that night while drinking in uniform

We showed up to play the Daisy Dukes, however they only had 8 guys and then left at 6:31 so we decided to upgrade the competition and play an intrasquad game as we had 20 guys. Nelly was a little afraid when he only had 11 guys there by 5:30, but then looked at the zero in their dugout and calmed down - Im pretty sure they may fold next year. Rodney had a hit in this game off Shane, then started walkin around like he owned the place. He is now 1-25 including exhibition games but is heating up.

 

I dont remember what else happened because we finished the beer cooler. Next up is the Dust Devils Saturday where we will try to start a winning streak. Ooooh look, shiny red ball!

We started out the annual Ft Sask tourney against the Tabbies (St. Albert Junior Tigers). After complaining about our pitchers not throwing strikes last week, Nelly walked five in the first three innings. However the Tabbies literally hit 2 balls past 90 feet all day so he threw a three hit shutout. Not much happened in this one as their pitcher stopped throwing fastballs in the first inning after we hammered a few runs. Game two we faced the Edmonton Angels, where Burlo was off his game a bit having to throw more than his usual 6 pitches per inning a few times. Rodney just about got a hit but the second basemen came out of nowhere to rob him, pushing him to 0-19.

We faced Ft. Sask the next two games. In game one Norm threw his best game of the year as they didn't hit him except for the 3B who hit a very large bomb. We made a couple errors that hurt us, but their pitcher might not have thrown a ball that went over any white portion of the plate just black making it tough to do anything. The next game they threw his younger brother who had his arm go completely numb during the third inning which might be bad, so yet another good pitcher relieved. Curtis didn't have his best stuff but he threw well enough to win, but we again made a couple mistakes. The difference on the day really was their defense making all the plays, which is probably why they won AAA provincials last year. Also in this game, Nelly tried a slip and slide manoeuver while sliding into home as a courtesy runner.

 

It was good to see three of the best pitchers in the province, and on that note we now will probably face 2 knuckleballers in a row. On a another note, the Karaoke Bar closed at 9pm so we went to BP's and took home the Name That Tune title on Saturday, with Dave being a legend. Burlo and Shane were the two drunkest as they had a bottle of Drambuie. Rodney coached first on Sunday, which is the closest he has been there all year, I think he even touched it a couple times. Lastly, there were no team blow-ups and it was a real fun weekend. I dont always drink beer, but when I do, it's Boxer.

 

Karaoke Night Memorial Points

 

Game 1

15 points - Ambach 3-3, 25 year contract extension is being discussed with management

10 points - Nelly CG SHO, didnt like their mound but got it done

5 points - Edgar bat is getting hot (its about time)

 

Game 2

15 points - Edgar 3-4, was moved to 3 hole

10 points - Burlo CG, just pencil this in every time: 7IP, 85 pitches, 2 or less runs throwing less than 75 mph

5 points - Chico 2-4, also being worked on for 25 year contract

 

Game 3

15 points - Richard "Grumpier than an Old Man getting told to eat shit during a baseball game" Perkins

10 points - Norm 5IP, coming off worse start threw his best, he is off the ledge now

5 points - Bryce, 1-2, did punt a ball in LF but also made a great catch running into the fence

 

Game 4

15 points - Eddie - 2-4, cashed our runs early, played a great 1B

10 points - Ambach - 1-1, was fired up out there

5 points - Curtis 6IP, deserved a better fate

HM - Chico - hit a huge HR, had a couple balls he'd like to have back but played fantastic all weekend otherwise

 

Oh what a beautiful day. Its too bad there had to be a final score in tonights games, because we were all winners out there! The Cards played their guts out and the motto of fair play was instilled in our hearts this evening. The final score was irrelevant because we won where it counts: in the community. We didnt get that one call to turn the tides, but we respected the umpire and our opponent which makes us winners in my books. The Diamondbacks meanwhile look poised to take the FMBA title and there was no shame in losing to a superior team. After the game, we got ice cream and slurpees from the parents and dreamed of lollipops and rainbows. Three cheers guys - hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray! Yeah baseball!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

p.s. sleepover in Ft. Sask on Saturday, no cooties allowed though.

 

Hustle Points

15 points - Eddie - we dont keep stats but had a heart of gold out there

10 points - Shaner - smiled during one at bat even when down which is what matters most

5 points - Dave H - looked totally tubular out there dude

There were many write-up quality events that took place this past weekend in a fun Saskatoon tourney. The #1 item discussed in everyone’s car ride home, and surely every other teams was Cards XXX star Dick Porkins rounding third, getting hit by a sniper from the beer gardens and face planting on the way home to the laughter of pretty much everyone watching– it was excellent, if only there was a camera. The second took place when nothing good ever happens - at 4:30am, as a group of street smart Cardinals commented to a couple native Saskatoononians (who clearly had just got in a scrap), “looks like you guys had a great night”. To quote Ron Burgandy, things really escalated quickly as one of them yelled he was going to kill them, and immediately proceeded to scale onto our second story balcony, pulled a knife on Blizz before Perkins pulled out a bat. Rodney, who is now referred to as Sally for his on and off field performances, ran into his room and locked the doors leaving three Cards outside. The guy, who may have been a ninja when not on gasoline, flipped over the balcony railing (again we were on the second floor), landed perfectly on his feet before walking away. 

 

To sum up the rest of the off-field stuff: I really thought that we were playing at the Lac La Biche tourney during Pow-Wow Days. Rodney, who was looking for a slump buster at the Pat Saturday night, apparently doesn’t ever want to get a hit this year as he could have taken just about anyone that night. Guy was helping him, who mentioned the word “standards”, making me wonder if these guys know what a slump buster even is. Im surprised MLB players aren’t flying slumping players into this bar daily to work their way out of them. A girl who was crippled with two crutches made my top-10 list that night, and there was more than 300 people there. And also, our hotel was just off the road to a Compton like neighborhood, and one of the Outlaws players asked if we were stupid for staying there, it was funny.

 

Now to the games. To start out we played Kindersley at 9am, I think they were trying to get into the loser bracket as we won 15-2, Burlo threw another gem although he allowed a HR nearly off the Hells Angels Biker Bar. Breen and Trent hit well and Norm swung at a ball that was pitched 45 feet. This game got us into the winners bracket where we were put into pools. We next faced the Marysburg Royals who were in first in their league. Guy lost three cans of corn in the sun even though it was kind of cloudy, which was 3 of their 4 hits – Nelly threw his best game of the year. Their coach told the umpire that we were good but they should be beating us, which was good for a chuckle. Everyone got a hit except Sunshine Prince as we cranked the ball around the park. We ended the day with a 7pm game, our third of the day against the Saskatoon Outlaws. They threw a pretty good pitcher against us, and the shadows made it tough to pick up. They only got five hits but came at key times as we allowed 9 guys to get on for free. We couldn’t get a big knock to bust it open, but got beat by a good team who were somehow 3 games behind the Royals. I should mention that the home umpire in this game was a complete train wreck, as he threatened to leave the park due to the fans heckling and he may have even started to cry. The fans were fantastic as we had a good crowd in this one.

 

Sunday got rained out so we got a three way split for first place in the tourney, a good showing in our first trip there, Im sure we will be back there next year. Next up is the Diamondbacks on Thursday before we hit Fort Sask next weekend.

 

Cardinal Cup Points

Game 1
15 points – Burlo, threw strikes, but did you expect anything else? Team he was facing was questionable

10 points – Breen 2-2, 4RBI, 3BBs

5 points – Trent 2-3, nearly killed his entire family

 

Game 2

15 points – Nelly, threw well
10 points – Eddie, 2-3, got the cranking started

5 points – Perkins, 2-2, lost his pride

HM – Ambach – HR, called a great game

 

Game 3
15 points – Shaner, hit well

10 points – Ambach, talked shit to fans

5 points – Chico, lone other RBI

El Whammy has been taken off the grievance list, and will be making the trip to Saskabush, coming off one of his frequent three week hiatus from baseball. No word on how many HR he will allow this weekend - stay tuned to the ticker for more updates. McElroy is also making the trip meaning we will have 16 dudes, probably more than any of the teams who are actually from there. Cards Alumni Gump is also making the trip from Regina to coach first, where the odds of him getting completely nude in the dugout at some point has opened at 3-1 odds. That's a sure bet, you should triple up before Vegas takes that one of the board.

Here are the teams we are playing at our upcoming tourneys:

At the Saskatoon tourney we play the Kindersley Raiders, who are in second in their league. If we win we go into a pool with the Marysburg Royals and the Saskatoon Outlaws, both of whom are usually in the running to represent Saskabush at AA Westerns. With all the new teams, plus the hotel we are staying at being rated 26th out of 31 in Saskatoon, we will be in for a challenge.

 

At the Ft. Sask tourney we play the defending AAA Provincial Champs Ft. Sask A's, Bruce-K's 2008 team the Edmonton Angels, and the St. Albert Tabbies (Junior Tigers), all of whom play in the Sunburst League. We will be in tough to repeat last year's performance at the Hotel Karaoke Bar, but we will give it our best shot.

 

Then at the Longhorns tourney we are in a pool with the Ft. Sask A's, and the Red Deer Stags. We might actually not be the team that the Longhorns heckle during the games as they might have it in for Ft. Sask, but I wouldnt bet on it. At least we can count on us drinking the most beers per game played. If we ever played in more than 1 day at this it wouldnt even be close.