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Beaconsfield Oldtimers Hockey Association
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MVP of the Week Louis Pallay Leads White
November 18, 2009
Team White cardboard box king, Louis Pallay, scored the back breaking goal against the over we#^%@ Team Green goalie Ted Jackson on a pass out to package a 7-1 win and broke the record of most points half way through the season for Team White, getting a congratulating twitter from his 17 year old and number one fan. Team White also broke the Vegas odds record as the odd makers now have given them a never heard of 1 – 2 odd to win the championship prompting White’s Don Etienne, league leading sticks investor with six broken sticks to date, to quietly instruct his broker to invest an undisclosed amount just to cover his sticks expenditure.
Team Green Captain Marc Lemery, who felt their slump is mostly mental, was disappointed that he could not pass on his experiences in growing peas to his team and sought advice from Louis on how to package a win. Unfortunately for Team Green, the request was declined as the challenge is just a bit too daunting with Green players’ pea sized br$%s.
Team Red, officially out of the slump category and into the inept category is a few losses away from meeting with BOHA competition board. New captain of the night, football great Joe Marchildon, took advantage of Captain Paul Prevost absence to dump the whiteboard strategy for his newly devised “Reverse Offense” strategy, where the defence leads the offensive rushes two yards at a time. The strategy proved disastrous for Team Red going down 6-2 to Team Blue. Team Red, last year’s first place champion, still feels that they are ahead of the schedule and brighter lights are just around the long corner. In the meantime, Team Blue is past the corner and keeping Team White at sight, making defenceman Pierre Tardif, who has been demanding more ice time, happier and to reconsider his status with Team Blue after visiting Team Red dressing room before the game seeking a trade. Tom Simpson, Blue’s GM and coach, who had to rush to the game to iron this minor controversy, made a brilliant move by healthy scratching Dolly Leblanc and gave Pierre two all dressed pizzas.
Teams Gold and Black did not disappoint the capacity crowd in the main event of the night with back and forth rushes and goaltending duels. Finally, a couple of defensive lapses allowed Team Gold to win 4-3. Gold’s Keith Imhoff, back from a well deserved golfing trip, was steady on the blue lines and fed his fast forwards Pascal Gagnon and Mathieu Crevier with precise stretch passes all game long. Team Gold is finally jelling like their team President wish, the Iron family. For Team Black’s St. Lazare horse breeder and Captain Roger Richard, he feels this is a minor set back, just a short fence for his thoroughbreds to jump over.
BOHA DARIEN news ……..
Boha Darien Exchange Committee proudly announces the lineup for this Friday 6 pm game for the prestigious “Old Cup”. As there were many applicants, hard decisions had to be made and the rules of eligibility had to be applied. For those that did not make it to the team, there are still openings for the following important management positions.
- Door openers
- Bottle water fillers
- Offensive coordinator
- Defensive coordinator
- Shootout coordinator
Lineup:
Forwards:
Experienced players: Bob Roe, Wayne Hart, Jack Hubert, Frank Kruzich
Juniors: Terry O’Neill, Jeff Jones, Ron Carriere, Peter McCusker, Yves Boileau
Defence:
Mark Uchwat, Yves Quenneville, Chris Wright, Keith Imhoff, Andre Martin, Dolly Leblanc
Goal: Dave Wood
Coach: George Tan
Note: There are still many openings on Sunday morning game. Contact Marc Lemery.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
Bowrin Edged Jones for MVP of the Week. Chris Wright Third Star
November 12, 2009
In another record breaking week, Rob Bowrin of Team Green scored two goals and one assist to edge out Jeff Jones of Team Gold for the week’s MVP by one vote.
The record breaking week started off with Team White coming out on top of Team Gold with the score of 7-4. Gold had a two goal lead early on when Jeff Jones, who was away for a few games collecting points doing family chores, in tandem with his winger Andrew Robertson, scored a couple for a quick lead. Unfortunately for the Gold, a leak here and a leak there allowed Team White to get back in the game and ahead for good to solidify their first place with 20 points, breaking its own record of 19 points established just four years ago. In the jubilant room during the post game celebration, Chris Wright gave an interview about how good he feels about his game lately. His efforts were noticed by the MVP voters and earned a well deserved third star in the MVP of the week award.
A four pointer game, Team Blue looked sharp scoring on Team Black quickly and often jumping to a 4-0 lead. Somewhere along, both teams decided the best tactic to win this night is to go offensive all the way. With both teams using the 5-0-0 formation, Team Black outshot Team Blue 9 to 8 and squeaked by with a 9-8 win and also establishing the first BOHA record of 0.00 save percentage for both goalies. Black is now tied for second with Blue at 13 points each but 7 points less than Team White, who is threatening to run away.
Team Red, last year’s regular season champ but trailing Team White by more than 10 points, has officially taken the most inept team title from Team Green going down 6-1 and is now in the basement one point behind the Green. Team Red lost Mark Tucker in the free agent reentry draft to Team Green, who did a back room maneuver with Red’s Mike “Air Hog” Rourke to claim Tucker before the puck drop. Much to Dr. Heseltine’s chagrin, who is shouldering all the Red’s offensive woes, felt that it was a bad trade and diagnosed Mike may still be high and not on the ground yet, mentally speaking. The move messed up Red’s whiteboard strategy and could not match Green’s speedy forward, Rob Bowrin, who had the best game of the year scoring two goals and an assist to lead the Green in the massacre as well as the MVP of the week.
BOHA news …
The Darien Boys are coming on November 20 – 22. Three games are setup for Friday (6 to 8), Saturday (1 to 3) and Sunday 11 to 12:30. For those who are new to this, this is an annual exchange that has been going on for over 25 years. They come here in November and we go there in late March. Here are some of the details:
Friday (6 to 8): Although it is call the Old Boys Cup and our most experienced boys have the first crack at it, if you wish to play that night, we do our utmost to fit you in. What we can guarantee is you will have a great time. The organizer for this game is George Tan. The best way to contact is by email (gensam@sympatico.ca); phone 514-630-4162. So far, we have Bob Roe, Terry O’Neill, Mark Uchwat.
Saturday (1 -3): This is the USA vs Canada or Darien vs BOHA game. More competitive game and played by the upcoming stars. Contact Johnny MacIntosh who is handling this game. Johnny apple does not read his emails john.macintosh@videotron.ca . Don’t think he picks up the phone either but try 514-726-8145.
Sunday (11 to 12:30): This is the friendly game. Contact Marc Lemery at marc.lemery@carrierefoods.com
Cheers,
Field Reporter
KEVIN RACE MVP of the Week
November 4, 2009
Week 11 was a nightmare for the league’s goalies as a total of 34 goals were scored breaking the record of 32 goals established thirty eight years ago when Michael Montagano was in diaper dreaming his future as a city councilor. With diaper replaced by Fruit of the looms, life long dream realized and a landslide victory, his team celebrated for him pounding Team Green 8-1. Team Green, beginning to miss their big defenceman Mike Tinmouth more and more, was down and out early trailing 5-0 at the half. Legal counsel Glen Brown, trying to step up a notch for the team, ran into penalty troubles again and was ejected after three penalties, one deserved and the other two by reputation. Underachieving for the past five weeks, Team Green is just trying a bit too hard. A pass here and a pass there by their top players might just get them back to where they should be.
Leading 3-2 with ten minutes left, Team Red high risked defensive corps got carried away trying to score the insurance goal and backfired to a 6-4 loss as Team White rallied with six two on ½ resulting in 3 goals in five minutes.. Leading the way for Team White was their under rated winger Kevin Race, with his first career hat trick and a team record of nine shots to edge out Terry O’Neill of Team Red for the week’s MVP award. Terry O’Neill, missed by 2 votes to be MVP for the second straight week, is on a torrid pace with six goals in two games. He has 90% of the team production. Unhappy with some missing players who missed the team bus, Team Red GM, Paul Bambi Prevost issued a statement that Joe Marchildon and the Dude are suspended till the next game and will not be allowed to participate in the team’s new whiteboard strategic planning session.
Another high scoring game between Teams Gold and Blue closed out the night with Blue on top 9-6. Gold, a proud team, scored three goals in the last three minutes to make it look closer but on this night, Gord Parkinson was just too much for Gold to handle as he potted his own rebound through Pierre Lacoste five holes, who has the same Carey Price’s black clouds hanging over his shoulders. Blue, the best structured team in the league and only uses the traditional blackboard for their strategy, continues to play the possum style game and keeping pace with Team White. The two teams are threatening to run away from the rest.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
O’Neill MVP Player of The Week
October 28, 2009
In a new award created by BOHA Marketing Division, Terry O’Neill of Team Red is the first recipient of the weekly MVP player of the week. With his three goals, all garbage goals, Terry, with his line mates of Bob Roe and Dave “the Dude” Connell, squeaked out a 3-3 tie for the Red against Team Blue. Paul “Bambi” Prevost, captain of Team Red, frustrated with the team’ perimeter game, took a chance and elevated Terry’s line to the second line. With this incentive and the offensive output, Team Red now has one second line and two third lines. The defensive tandem of Gord McLennan and Joe Marchildon with his dizzying Watusi spinarama move remains Team Red top offensive line leading the team with ten shots, 0 goals and 0 assist and a minus three. Team Blue, the best structured team in the league, has now gone two games without a win prompting Team Captain Tom Simpson to recall himself and Scott Meehan back for next week’s crucial game against the up and coming Team Gold. Both were sent down by assistant captain Kurt Legler to their affiliate, the Lakeshore Peewee A, to refresh their C cut moves after their loss last week.
After experiencing a surge in the last few games, Team Black is back down to where they belong, victimized by a few call ups made by Gold’s GM Darrell Irons family. Gold’s call ups Andre Blanchette, Sean Hughes and the week’s MVP runner up, Mathieu Crevier, took advantage of a Lerouxless lineup to pump in six goals and a 6-3 win. Team Black’s Goalie, real estate mogul Keith Bertoia, was seen fuming and mumbling something about rushing to the game and missing a deal on a charming three bedroom cottage.
Team Green, touted as the team to beat three weeks ago, is now officially in a slump after missing their two heavy weight defencemen Glen Brown and Mike Tinmouth again. Nowhere to be seen was also their top gun Ken Rowe, now missing physically as well and winger Bob Bowrin, who is practicing his writing skill to get a spot with the Field Reporter Association. Team White, voted as BOHA best defensive corps, followed their game plan to the tee with their Captain Chris Wright capitalizing with his patented “sneak into the slot” move, leading the team to a 6-3 win after building up a 5-0 lead at half time.
With a third of the season completed, Team White is beginning to run away from the rest. Will they break the “Most points after 11 games” record held by Team Red of 2008-09 season who had 17 points? Will Team Red allow Team White to break the record next week?
Believe it or not ……
216 goals have been scored to date. 176 scored by call ups. Of the 40 goals scored by the roster players, 36 were classified as garbage goals.
There were 187 breakaways with 7 goals scored, all on Team Green. This report submitted by the Goaltending Union with abstention from Green’s goalie.
There were 87 five on two plays. This report submitted by BOHA Defencemen Brotherhood.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
No BOHA Trades as Trading Deadline Expires
October 7, 2009
After seven weeks and 38 visual telepathy meetings, the Balancing Committee has decided to keep the teams as they are. In a pre-game press conference, the Head member of the committee who OK’s every deal, Ted Mulhern, informed the crowded press room that the league has too many players on “No trade” clause in their contracts. All the teams will have to rely on their call ups to bolster their lineups. With the announcement over, much to the chagrin to some players who hope quietly to be traded, week seven got underway.
Team White on a six game unbeaten streak, lost their first game of the season 4-2 to Blue, who is now 17 games away from clinching first place. Without their top gun Ralph Difiore, Team Blue still dominated the game with Scott Meehan, fresh from signing a new no trade contract, stepping up to anchor and quarterbacked the blue line team of Dollard Leblanc, Robert “C cut” Ouellette and Pierre Tardif . This new Defensive corps is ready to challenge Team White, voted by the Field Reporters Association to have the league’s top D of Yves Quenneville, Claude Dubeau, Howard Gosselin and new comer Karl Boivin. Chris Wright, last year’s BOHA 2nd All Star Team D, is in the farm waiting for a chance to crack the lineup. With the loss, he might just get his chance. Blue’s new players Rep, Tom Simpson, in the one on one interview, expressed his concern that Team Blue might just be peaking a tad early and warned his players to continue with their off ice yoga conditioning program.
It was a no contest in the feature “Game of the evening” between Team Red and Team Black. Team Red had difficulties figuring out how to play Team Black “Shinny” strategy. Black came out early and peppered Team Red and a 2-0 early lead, Red came back with two quick goals to tie Black only to trail again on a slow scooter shot along the ice by Andy Leroux with 2 seconds left in the first half. It was all downhill in the second half as Black’s coach Roger Richard employed his weave in and shoots strategy resulting in rebounds galore, breakaways, 3 on ones and a bonus 5 more goals and a deserving 8-4 win. In the post game closed room meeting, Team Red Captain Paul “Bambi” Prevost asked for a solution to fix the leaky pipes and also felt that some players were figure skating and banned himself, Dan Goodale, Mike Rourke, Dave “the Dude” Connell, Doc Heseltine and Paul “Money Grabber” Painter from watching “The Battle of the Blades”.
Teams Green and Gold played the game of the night. With some call ups, Green dominated for the most part but needed all six of their top guns in the last minute with the goalie out to tie Gold 5-5. After the game, BOHA Players Development VP, Ted “Stonewall” Jackson, a distant relative of the famous Civil war Rebel, confessed to Field Reporter that he had the upper hand in the players call up selection business as they scored most of the goals for the Green. Meanwhile, Team Green first draft Ken Rowe, who earlier had to barter for a pair of pants from the Dude, felt Dude’s pants inhibited his skating style as the inseam between the legs area was a bit tight causing the Dude to express some concerns wondering if the tight inseam will affect his tool doing his new marital duties.
With week 8 just six days away, Vegas competition analysts have separated BOHA teams into two tiers. The top tier has Blue, Green and White and the bottom tier Gold, Black and Red. The odds of any of the bottom tier teams moving up to the top tier is set at 12,000 to 1 with Team Red odds set at Infinity to 1. Will Team Red rise up to the challenge? Tune in.
Cheers,
Field Reporter
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