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ROCKETS BLOWN OFF COURSE BY CYCLONES
November 24, 2009
Welcome to Inside the Posts, the mostly positive spin on everything Rockets
(For the last game of the second part of the first season, I had time to reflect on what fine young ladies our little girls were blossoming into. Nothing therefore would be more fitting then to celebrate their near-debutante status with what else? Boxing week!)
“Boxing was not something I truly enjoyed. Like a lot of things in life, when you put on the gloves, it’s better to give than receive” – Sugar Ray Leonard
“Down goes Frazier, Down goes Frazier” - Howard Cosell
“He was killed in the ring in Houston…by Tex Colorado, you know, the Arizona Assassin” “Oh yeah, from Dakota…I don’t remember if it was North or South” “North. South Dakota was his brother, from West Virginia” “You sure know your boxing” “All I know is never bet on the white guy…” – The Naked Gun 2 ½
This past Saturday our Rockets, weighing in at 885 pounds, took on the Lynbrook/East Rockaway Cyclones in a slugfest that was exciting until the final bell. On a day marked by unusually nice weather and unusually bad calls (“sour grapes make the best whines” - Ernest and Julio Gallo), the two teams battled like the up and coming champions they are. In the end, it was the Cyclones taking it by the close margin of 4-3. It seemed like an ordinary day, like so many other sunny, warm late November days, but this one was different. Two hungry fighters were on tap, ready to square off in the rectangular ring. The crowd was tense as ringside seats filled up fast. Dr. Jeff was seen anxiously pacing the sidelines, clutching what appeared to be two baskets full of candles and live bait. Several times the ref had to ask certain Rocket fans on the sidelines to keep their conversations to a minimum or at the very least, go to the parking lot to continue them. Cheers and taunts such as “Hit ‘em hard”, “watch the elbows in tight”, and my favorite “I have to get to Target so no play dates after the game” filled the air. No one was about to throw in the towel today and there would be minimal mercy shown. This was destined to be a no holds barred fight to the finish as well as an opportunity for me to dust off some tired boxing clichés.
As the battle began, both sides nervously sized each other up. In goal for the Rockets was Alex “Apollo Creed” V. who kept the Rockets in the game early. The game got rough as both sides were swinging hard. At one point Jamie “What’s my name-y” V. was sent to the canvas by her own teammate (foreshadowing?) – after a mandatory standing eight count, she returned to the fight. Down by one, the Rockets took control of the fight, scoring two consecutive goals off the prodigious foot of Christina “Kidney Punch” L. with assists going to Jamie “Hard to Tame-y” V. (One of my few remaining personal friends) and Nicole “Knockout” V.
With the score tied at 2, the second half began with a bang. New goalie Lauren “Light Heavyweight” C. did her part to stop the barrage of Cyclones, as did defenders (and near look-alike) Emily “Everlast” C., Sarah “Speed Bag” B. and Cailey “Right Cross” C. Keeping up the offensive pressure was Gabby “Golden Gloves” H, Kristen “Left Hook” C. and Daniella “two point takedown” F. The Rockets even took the lead on an unassisted haymaker by Nicole “Neutral Corner” V. All was well but not for long. The Cyclones took full advantage of a series of semi-free-direct-indirect-penalty kicks. Although there was no knockout, the Cyclones took the match on points. With heads held up high, the Rockets left the field knowing that even champions lose a few. They all welcomed the upcoming offseason as a time to heal and reflect on past and future glory. Please note that next season starts on Saturday, 3 P.M. in Freeport.
Thank you girls for a great first season. Special thanks to Donna for picking up the ball on the fundraiser, Tom for…well, just being Tom, and Frank for coaching the girls and giving us all so much to talk about on the sidelines. So long ‘til Saturday
OTHER TEAM WINS
November 15, 2009
Welcome to Inside the Posts, all the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of the Massapequa Rockets
“Win as if you are used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“There is no comparison between that which is lost by not succeeding and that which is lost by not trying” Sir Francis Bacon
As the rain fell this past Saturday, so did our beloved Rockets by the score of 5 or 6 to 1 to the powerful North Shore United, heretofore referred to as the other team. Despite the Leviathan effort by our girls, they were outplayed by the other team, a semi pro team from the Gold Coast. Although there were rumors floating about on the home side that the other team was either a group of Eastern European midgets or a squadron of Terminator-esque cyborgs from the future, your author has determined after exhaustive research that the latter was false because the rain would have most certainly damaged their motherboards. Calls to the INS have not been returned.
I had so many great…well, good nicknames planned for this week that I just don’t want to waste. For example, I was planning a DeNiro movie tribute week which would have given us Cailey “Casino” C., Gabby “Goodfellas” H., Kristen “Cape Fear” C. or maybe Daniella “Young Don Corleone” F. Not this week. Rapper week would have given us such classics as Emily “Eminem” C., Alex “Ice T” V., Nicole “Notorious B.I.G.” V. and Lauren “Run D.M.” C. I could have even gone with a winter weather theme with Christina “Puffy Coat” L. or Jamie “Duraflame-y” V., but these will have to wait ‘til next week. I must mention the one bright spot for the Rockets, an awesome goal scored by Julia ”Toupac” K. on an over the goalie boot off a pass from the small but nimble foot of Sarah “Raging Bull” B.
Notable Fan Sightings: Mick V. sporting a lovely deep lavender jacquard umbrella which we are told matched other items from his personal collection (yet another unsubstantiated rumor-calls to Donna have not been returned); Tom C. wearing a jacket (easily spotted from as far away as Arlo Drugs) from the Three Mile Island collection at J.C. Penney’s; Coach Frank complaining of chest pains in the parking lot, however yours truly had a lunch date and could not offer him assistance...
It was only a battle girls, not the whole war! You are still one of our favorite teams! Go get ‘em next week!
ROKETTO HAKUSHI RU-BURU 4-1 VERY GOOD HONOR!! VERY GOOD!!
November 8, 2009
Welcome to Inside the Posts, All the Rockets News that is Fit to Print
Minasan Konichi Wa! Saturday was Culture Day in Japan (Bunka No Hi), so in honor of a small part of my culture, welcome to Japan week. Soccer (“shuukyuu”), not unlike Godzilla, is big in Japan. The Japanese national team is currently ranked 192nd in the world after recent victories over Swaziland and Northern Tibet. As a matter of fact soccer currently ranks as one of the most popular sports in all of Japan, surpassed only by sumo, baseball, golf on American courses, several things ending in “jit-su” and competitive hot dog eating. In honor of this soccer mania and a culture that has given us gifts such as raw fish, karaoke and Toyotas, a culture that finds it far more efficient to pick up food with short broken sticks rather than stabbing it with a fork like the rest of the world, I give you the Culture Day rundown.
In Saturday’s most honorable contest, our favorite team took on the Mineola Red Bulls (“Ru-Buru”) on a blustery day in the County Seat. The day began like most others; idle chatter amongst the faithful; Sam V. (who really wants an I-Pod Touch) wrapped in a minor league hockey team throw (blankey); Kelly V. in her spirit wear (pajamas); Someone who will remain nameless hurting my feelings and blowing me off. From the opening kick the Roketto (Rockets) set the pace. Starting go-ru yotogi (goalie) was Sarah “Samurai” B. who played with the precision of a middle manager dedicated to the success of her employer. On the defensive end of the field, Emily “Iron Chef” C. made a great play on a breakaway to stop a Ru-Buru scoring chance. Other defensive stars were Julia “Kabuki” K., Lauren “I think I’m turning Japanese” C., Cailey “Bend it like Kobayashi” C. and Kristen “Bonsai” C., all of whom played like Mothra and showed why the Japanese have 37 words for victory and a mere 18 for defeat!
The Roketto controlled the boru (ball) on offense as well. Alex “Wasabi” V. spiced things up and made several good rushes to the goal on passes from Gabby “Ginsu” H., who played a very sharp game. Jamie “Nintendo Game-y” V. had a nice run to the goal in the second half, and to date remains my shin’yuu (personal friend). Scoring for the Roketto this week were Christina “Hello Kitty” L with san go-ru (3 goals), Sarah “Samurai” B. with ichi goru and nee ashisuto (1 goal, 2 assists), Daniella “Domo Oregatu” F. with an ashisuto on a perfect pass in front of the net and Nicole “Ninja Assassin” V. with yet another powerful ashisuto. Nicole finished the game in net and helped secure the seishou (victory)! A most honorable day for all!
The girls played with all the grace of a Haiku and all the power of a double sized Sake. Special thanks to Tom “Kure-ji Kami” Cummings (crazy hair) for his great flag work. Rumor has it that one of the Rocket-Dads, impressed with the girls performance, was going to take them to Disney via an airport in Farmingdale, however I have been unable to confirm this report. Next week – The North Shore Yunaiteddo (United). Sayonara Mate Ne!
NO TRICK,ALL TREAT!!! ROCKETS SCARE UP A TIE!!!
November 2, 2009
Welcome to the Halloween edition of Inside the Posts, the unofficial, unauthorized and really scary update on the Massapequa Rockets
This past Saturday our Rockets welcomed the Jericho Jets to town for a windy waterside showdown. Jericho, ranked all world by Backofthenet.com, the totally unbiased Long Island Soccer web site, got all they could handle when they faced our girls, who by the way have been somehow overlooked by the same site. Halloween day, best known for creepy costumes and fun sized candy bars (apparently fun sized is a euphemism for “really small and cheap”), provided an eerie backdrop for the game. In addition to the usual suspects, the game was attended by a number of faithful Rocket-siblings. Among those patrolling the sidelines were Ashley H. looking resplendent in her 80’s girl garb, Kelly V. barely recognizable sans the PJ’s, Dominick F. who yours truly tried to enlist in any future rumbles, and Sam V. who helped mom keep tabs on younger brothers Rocky and Hacksaw.
The Halloween event started with an attack by the highly seeded Jets. Despite a great effort by the team, Jericho jumped out to a 2 goal lead on shots assisted by the wind, or perhaps some evil spirit since this was Halloween. Playing through an injury was Ghostly Gabby H., who kept the Rockets in the game with her paranormal goaltending. Once settled down, the Rockets took control of the game. Scaring up some great offensive moves were Alex “Alien” V., Jamie “slash and maim-y” V. (my personal friend) and Ghoul-ia K. who kept the ball moving up the sidelines all afternoon much to the delight of the near capacity crowd. Offensive pressure was continuously applied by the Rockets and it finally paid off. After a hard fought battle for control of the ball, Kristen “Creepshow” C. planted a perfect pass in the path of the persistent and prodigious Christina “Christine” L. who “drove” it home.
Down by one, the Rockets were on fire! Following an onslaught of pressure, the Rockets tied the score on another goal by “Christine”, tapping in a shot off the foot of Nicky “Nosferatu” V. Late in the game the Rockets almost took the lead on a great effort by Daniella “Damien” F. that was denied only by a strong tailwind.
That was all of the scoring thanks to lights out defense by Emily “Sixth Sense” C., who saw slow people and passed them all. Psycho Sarah B. played defense like two people, or at least one person pretending to be two people. Lauren “I know What You Did Last Summer” C. also killed several scoring opportunities. Closing out the game in goal was Nicky “Nosferatu” V. who didn’t lose her head under pressure and made a number of big plays!
The great George Brett once said “If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother, with her teeth out”. Thank you for the tie girls! See you next week…
FATHER’S DAY REDUX: ROCKETS GIVE FANS A TIE!!!
October 25, 2009
Welcome to Inside the Posts, the Unauthorized 9-1-1 of the Massapequa Rockets!
Another overcast Saturday, another Rockets game, despite the fact that I have run out of foul weather jokes. Tension filled the air as pre-game chatter ranged from Dale Earnhardt Hansen’s inability to stop at red lights to whether or not we all feel like having a pint whenever we hear Kevin speak. After a heated debate over whether or not Kelly V. was wearing pajamas, the Rockets took the field against the Rockville Centre Cardinals, a team named for the beautiful red birds although the Da Vinci Code suggests that it may in fact be a thinly veiled reference to the local diocese.
The contest started out well for the Rockets who dominated play in the offensive zone. Outstanding efforts by Kristen “Kill Bill” C. and Gabby “Not too Shabby” H. forced the Cardinals to question their faith in defense. Alex “Not enough things rhyme with Alex” V. and Cailey “Yes he’s my dad” C. created more offensive pressure than Taco Bell. Emily “Take one for the Team” C. and Julia “No more Dance Jokes please” K. patrolled the field and kept the ball moving forward.
As always, our Rockets sparkled on defense. Lauren “Never Borin’”C. frustrated Cardinal shooters throughout the game. Sarah “Sons of Anarchy” B. cut off more drivers than the aforementioned Rocket-Mom. Not to be outdone, Daniella ”I got it” F.. was a virtual wall of defense. The Cardinals would have been kept off the board completely but for a penalty shot in the first half after a questionable call in the box, which remained unquestioned due to Players Weekend protocol.
Great goaltending on behalf of the Cardinals kept our Rockets frustrated throughout the day. The lone Rockets goal came after a tremendous effort by Christina “Plow King” L. After drawing a penalty directly in front of the goal (on a call which was, coincidentally, far less questionable than the last one), Nicky “Free Kick-y” V. slammed it between the pipes. With the fine net-minding of “Plow King” and Jamie “Hall of Fame-y” V, the Rockets held on for a come from behind tie. Please note that as of this writing, Jamie remains a personal friend of mine.
The only other penalty of the game occurred when our Tom Cummings was given a red card for illegal use of parental exuberance. Great game girls! Keep it going next week!!!
ROCKET POWER! ROCKETS OVERPOWER POWER 2-0!!!
October 18, 2009
Welcome to Inside the Posts, the Unofficial Post Game Report of the Massapequa Rockets
This past Saturday our Rockets descended upon the frozen tundra of Western Nassau County to take on the Franklin Square Power. As the mercury dropped to finger numbing levels, faithful Rockets’ fans kept warm by discussing the unfortunate tartar sauce stain on Daniela’s Juicy Couture and the perplexingly quiet demeanor of Tom Cummings. After going to both benches and accumulating enough hot air to keep the game ball inflated, the ref started the game despite the fact that a good number of Rocket-Moms were on a coffee run. (Editors note- coffee is a euphemism for toilet).
The game was dominated from the start by the Rockets. Thanks to the great defensive efforts of the entire team, the ball seemed to stay in the Powers’ end of the field most of the day. Alex “A-Rod” V. brought her “A” game on “D” as did Emily “Say something funny about me this week” C. and Christina “Girls just wanna have fun” L. With the ball in the offensive end, Kristen “The Energizer Bunny” C. and Julia “Happy Feet” K. didn’t allow the Powers’ defense a chance to recharge (sorry). Speedy footwork by Lauren “I can’t drive 55” C. and the eagle eye passes from “Hotel Cailey-fornia” C. helped to pull the plug on the Power (no more, I promise).
The Rockets scored twice in Saturday’s contest, although one would have been more than enough. The first Rockets goal came off the colorfully shoed foot of Gabby “The Gabbinator” H. with a hard earned assist from Sarah “Are you Sarah Connors?” B. True to her word, The Gabbinator would “Be Ba-a-ack” with an assist on the second Rocket goal, scored by Jamie “I got game-y” V., who I am proud to say is a personal friend of mine. That was all the scoring the Rockets would need due in no small part to the great goalkeeping by Daniella “That’s right, there’s an A at the end” F. and Nicky “don’t lose that number” V. Can you say shutout? I knew you could…
Please note that next week’s bake sale/fundraiser to buy a Porta-Potty for the Rocket-Moms has been postponed indefinitely. Keep up the good work girls; we are all proud of you! See you next week in RVC.
ROCKETS REMAIN UNDEFEATED!!!
October 5, 2009
Welcome to Inside the Posts, the Massapequa Rockets semi official post game report
The ominous clouds above proved once again last Saturday that foreshadowing only applies to Stephen King novels and New York Mets games. Despite the constant threat of rain (and, if you are to believe Hollywood, meatballs), the Rockets skillfully girl-handled the feisty West Hempstead Warriors 4-1. Prior to the game all bets were off when an unruly gang of field hockey players threatened to remain on the field and finish their game. After hurling inflammatory rhetoric at us such as “we’re almost done” and “sorry, we ran late”, cooler heads prevailed and it was game on!
The game started out with Gabby “It’s the shoes, money” H. in goal. Gabby played a masterful, albeit peaceful half in net keeping the Warriors off the board. After suffering a near fatal ankle injury, Alex “way too polite” V. stepped in goal and helped insure the Rockets’ victory. Both Rockets goalkeepers were protected by the outstanding defensive efforts of the entire team, with Emily “I’m not Lauren” C. and Lauren “Really, it’s me” C. deserving kudos (or in their case one kudo each) for their speedy and aggressive play.
On offense, heads up play and crisp passing by ball handlers Julia “So you think you can Dance” K. and Cailey “No softball for me” C. kept the Warriors defense on edge. Julia and Cailey’s hard work, as well as the “mad skills” on both sides of the ball by Jamie “Big Red” V., proved to be too much for the Warriors. One of your humble authors’ favorite plays occurred when Kristen “Quiet Riot” C. ran head first into one of the oppositions biggest players (easily 3-4 times bigger than QR), only to steal the ball and send out the first in a string of pinpoint passes leading to a great offensive rush.
The scoring was led off by Nicole “Get outta my way” V. who pelted a line drive past a West Hempstead goalie who thankfully avoided injury by not getting in the way of the shot. Way to go Nicky! The second Rockets goal was scored in true blue-collar fashion by Sarah “You’re killing me Sarah!” B., who once again proved that hard work and clean living do pay off. Netting the final two goals of the day (that’s right, 2) was Christina “Look into my eyes” L., who twice darted past less agile defenders and put shots through the pipes. The game was briefly held up by two passing LIRR trains and the arrival of our own Tom Cummings.
Great job girls! Remember, winning is more contagious than the swine flu and infinitely more fun! See you next week in Franklin Square.
The Rockets Pay Tribute to the 9/11 Victims and Heros The Rockets are wearing red, white and blue in honor of all of the 9/11 victims and their families and to pay tribute to the heroic police officers, firefighters and rescue workers who worked so valiantly in the rescue and recovery efforts. Thank you....We will never forget.
MEMORIAL DAY CHAMPS!!! Your Massapequa Rockets
Alex, Cailey, Christina, Daniella, Emily, Gabby, Jamie, Julia, Kristen, Lauren, Nicole & Sarah
GO ROCKETS!!!
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