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Welcome to the home of
Maryland Heights Co-ed Kick Ass Softball
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NO GAME ON 8/1
The game on 5/16 has been canceled
Team 5 rolls in fourth consecutive victory
May 2, 2006
It was easy pickings for team 5 on Tuesday. The bats started off hot in the first inning with six straight hits capped by a 3-run homer by the league leader in home runs, Tim Schuck. Team 5 scored 5 runs in the first and that was all that was needed as red hot Craig Yeater iced the terrible opponents bats with seven strikeouts, a modern day record. Annoyed with Craig's mastery of the strike zone, one of the batters on the other team actually tried to get hit with one of Craig's pitches in hopes of getting to first base...but like a young Mike Tritinger trying to find love in his high school, they just kept striking out. Hey, it's not all bad for Mike, he has 11 straight at-bats with a hit. Speaking of outstanding defense, Pat(rick) Bax turned in the defensive play of the year on Tuesday. On a line drive, clearly heading for the outfield and extra bases, Pat(rick) Bax busted out the trampoline at shortstop and leaped 36 feet into the air to grab the out and squelch a surefire rally by the other team. It's a good thing too, because when Pat(rick) has to throw to first base, not only does Kevin Manion get a workout but baserunners get hurt. With his daughter there for inspiration, Kevin gutted out a bases loaded single in the fourth inning scoring two runs. Kevin and Kathryn were so excited about what had just happened that during the celebratory "ring around the rosy" dance they both peed in their pants. It was awesome!
For the first time in three weeks, Jeni Rose did not hit the game winner in the last at-bat. Jeni does have a four game hitting streak alive and continues to play impressive defense despite bouncing around like a pinball to all the different positions. Look out for Wheels Johnson (aka. Lindsey Meyer, soon to be Lindsey Schuck - I bet that looks a little wierd when someone writes it). She is on fire with six hits in her last eight at-bats and a four game hitting streak of her own. I really think the beer is starting to help. Wheels warms up with a renewal of her membership in the century club before each game then proceeds to polish off a fifth of vodka on her way out to leftcenter and finishes the game off with an entire keg of Milwaukee's Best Light. Team drinking got so bad on Tuesday Rebecca Grindler had to miss her first at-bat to load up on beer. Fuming about missing her at-bat, Rebecca's first time to the plate she hit the ball with such amazing force that it ripped the second baseman's hand clean off her arm. The shortstop had to run over, pick up the entire glove hand combination from the ground to get Rebecca out at first base. That was amazing but not as amazing as watching Lisa Kues face when she struck out in the second inning. After crushing a single in the first inning, Lisa couldn't believe the umpire had called the third strike. Furious with her lack of contact, she turned around and drilled the umpire in the knee with her best swing of the season. With a new umpire filling in the for injured one, Cathy Heimburger did not strike out this week and played great at second base. When she wasn't making babies cry, Cathy was getting on base and scoring runs. Unlike last week, Emily St. Clair didn't get any action in right field. She spent a lot of time out there this week reflecting on her career on the Team 5 softball team and even more time completely making fun of every player on the other team. Emily's rendition of "hey batter...batter" is chilling and always throws the other team off their game. Don't worry though Emily gets a police escort to her car every Tuesday.
Since I had a little time to write this week, I thought that I would tell you guys that I am having a lot of fun this year and I think that you are too. Thanks for showing up every week and having fun. Next week's game is a double header starting at 7:30. Keg stands are at 7:15.
The offense can't be found in loss to Team 2
April 11, 2006
Eli just woke up...talk to you later.
Team 5 season is underway
April 4, 2006
Team 5 got off to a rocky start in the first exhibition game of the season. The wheels fell off in the fifth inning when Team 1 dropped a seven spot to end the game with the mercy rule. Greg Hamm shined in his return to the team with two hits and two RBI's but everyone else sucked. The off season workout program that the coach put together obviously failed. Tim Schuck showed up to the game weighing 310 lbs. and spent the entire second, third and fourth innings sitting on the bench eating donuts. Craig Yeater was so disappointed in the team's performance, he took an out instead of his last at-bat so that he could swing wildly at the light post in hopes that it would come crashing down on the field and postpone the inevitable beating Team 5 would endure. Mike Tritinger was so upset at the defensive performance of the team he charged the infield on one play, stomped on Craig's hand, punched Cathy in the face and kneed Kevin in the groin. Trying to redeem himself, Tritinger left the infield only after patting Greg on the ass.
We haven't seen all the newbie's but I hope they are better than the current players...
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Maryland Heights Co-ed Kick Ass Softball
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