The Real ACFL Awards for 2013
Everett doubled up in the Real Awards
The Athletic Centre Football League is proud to announce its Real Award Winners for 2013. The ACFL administration would also like to take the time to thank all players, officials, and fans from this season. You’re all dusty as hell and super gay, but we love you.
Nick Kukkonen Bust of the Year Award
Perkin was possibly the most-hyped player coming into the season, captaining and quarterbacking a team in his return after a two-year absence. His debut at QB was almost worse than any story told by Soupy.
ACFL Spirit Award
Blanchard showed the true spirit of the ACFL by expressing his desire to play, until he got drafted by Iain MacMillan, which prompted his quick retirement. Josh, we at the ACFL salute your spirit.
Participants of the Year
The Wu / The Cookie Monster
For the second year in a row, Dennis Williams and Harold Jarrett King III are the participants of the year. For their colourful in-game celebrations, hateful comments and online content, they are truly the most involved in the ACFL.
Luke Ekoh Composure Award
Also for the second year in a row, MacMillan takes home this award for his outstanding composure and keeping his cool in the most intense situations. NOT. Insert joke about hitting the ceiling with a pass here.
Official of the Year
Stephen Pookie Crossland
He reffed a game and didn’t even blow his whistle once. What a champ.
Man of the Year
Curtis “Skeletor” Bawn
We’re actually pretty serious about this. The kid did a good job.
Stu Moore Hater of the Year Award
For actively advising people not to play ACFL and shitting on the league all year, this one was a given. Thank you Bunsen.
Moment of the Year
After Too Hot to Schandl scored their first touchdown of the year – in their second game – Quang turned to the crowd and said “Hey everyone, we got a point…SUCK IT” (doing “suck it” gesture with his hands). The ACFL at its finest.
Fans of the Year
Jordan Botel and Katie Cote
They were at almost every game. Honourable mention to Catherine Leblanc for going to all of the games, even though her boyfriend only played in two.
Iron Man Award
For staying mentally tough and playing through several injuries, most serious of which was Severe Labial Sanditis.
He didn’t show up to any games last year and only played in the last couple of this season, showing true commitment and dedication.
Outstanding Citizen of the Year
He quit to free up time in his busy schedule of sleeping in and playing video games to volunteer in the community.
Hoppy Flop of the Year
In the championship game, Everett executed a perfect Hoppy Flop on Mike Lowe. Like we're talking perfect. It was almost like watching Chris Hopkins out there.
Energizer Bunny Award
Robbie “Noodle” Baxter
The kid got suplexed like eight times, ripped half of his shirts, and still didn’t quit on any play or any game throughout the season. Respect.
Wipeout of the Year
Christian Plante (feat. Hank)
Underachievers of the Year
They had two of the all-time time leading receivers on their team, and produced the Rookie of the Year. But they were shit. Thanks for nothing, Iain.
Overachievers of the Year
Too Hot to Schandl
Nobody gave them a chance in any game this season, and they were in the final. Provin’ da haters wrong since 2013, bitchez.
Commissioner and Supreme Dictator Richard Deschamps announced the winners of the 2013 ACFL Postseason Awards tonight in a private press conference held in an undisclosed location within the Sackville Metropolitan Urban Town (SMUT).
Playoff MVP - Kyle McLean, The Replacements
28 receptions, 3 TDs, 1 carry 1 TD, 1/2 passing 1TD, 1 sack, 2 INTs
Offensive MVP - Mike Lowe, The Replacements
54/87, 8 TDs
Defensive MVP - Dennis Williams, Too Hot to Schandl
4 INTs, 1 sack. He's the fucking Wu. End of story.
Regular Season Awards Announced - Mirco Unanimous MVP
In a highly-anticipated press conference at the Wu Centre today, Commissioner Richard Deschamps announced the winners of the Regular Season Awards for the 2013 ACFL Season. The awards were voted on by league administration officers, as well as media representatives from around the Greater Sackville Region (GSR).
Tyler "Beast Mode" Mirco was unanimously voted as the league's Most Valuable Player. Leading The Replacements to a championship, Mirco accumulated 32 catches for 8 touchdowns with 7 extra points. Defensively he led the league with 12 interceptions, tying a single-season record, and took two back for touchdowns.
Daniel Tomei of Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe was named Offensive MVP with 65 receptions, 2nd in the league. 22 of those went for touchdowns, 6 extra points and 1 two-point conversion. Tomei had a season-high 17 receptions in week 2 against The Replacements.
Kyle McLean was named Defensive MVP thanks to his balanced defensive attack. Thanks to a 4-sack performance in the regular season finale, McLean finished with 5 sacks and 5 interceptions, 2 of which went for touchdowns.
Lineman of the Year was awarded to Christian Plante of Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe. Plante led all linemen and finished fourth in the league with 49 receptions, a new record for receptions by a lineman. Plante also accumulated 7 touchdowns and chipped in with two sacks and an interception defensively.
Rookie of the Year went to Andrew Klain from the Gotham Rogues. Klain finished fifth in league receptions with 39, and third in touchdowns with 11. His 15 scoring plays were also third most in the ACFL, while on defence Klain had a sack and an interception.
The Playoff Awards will be announced later this evening in another press conference held by Deschamps at an undisclosed location.
MVP - Tyler Mirco, The Replacements
Offensive MVP - Daniel Tomei, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe
Defensive MVP - Kyle McLean, The Replacements
Lineman of the Year - Christian Plante, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe
Rookie of the Year - Andrew Klain, Gotham Rogues
ACFL All-Stars announced for 2013 season
The Athletic Centre Football League and Commissioner and Supreme Dictator Richard Deschamps are proud to announce the league's first and second-team all-stars for the 2013 season.
Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe led the way with four first-team selections, including two-way selection Dan Tomei. Kyle McLean of the league champion, The Replacements was also a two-way selection along with Tyler "Beast Mode" Mirco on defence. Ben "The Frame" Grass was the only member of Too Hot to Schandl to be a first-team all-star, while the Gotham Rogues were shut out of first-team selections.
The Replacements paced the second-team selections with four, including two-way selection Jordan Redding. Wray Perkin and Dennis "The Wu" Williams represented Too Hot to Schandl, while the Gotham Rogues had a pair of freshmen make the list thanks to Andrew "Don't Call me Cain" Klain and Fitz Maxgerald.
1st team All-Stars:
QB - Alex Field, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe
WR - Daniel Tomei, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe
WR - Kyle McLean, The Replacements
OL - Christian Plante, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe
DL - Ben Grass, Too Hot to Schandl
DB - Daniel Tomei, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe
DB - Kyle McLean, The Replacements
DB - Tyler Mirco, The Replacements
2nd team All-Stars:
QB - Mike Lowe, The Replacements
WR - Wray Perkin, Too Hot to Schandl
WR - Andrew Klain, Gotham Rogues
OL - Jordan Redding, The Replacements
DL - Jordan Redding, The Replacements
DB - Dennis Williams, Too Hot to Schandl
DB - Max Fitzgerald, Gotham Rogues
DB - Mark Sampson, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe
Major Award Winners for both the regular season and postseason will be announced tomorrow afternoon on the ACFL's official website.
Week 2 Players of the Week
SACKVILLE, NB -
Offensive Player of the Week: Daniel Tomei, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe
Tomei caught 17 passes for three touchdowns and three one-point conversions in the win over the Replacements
Defensive Player of the Week: Ben Grass, Too Hot to Schandl
Grass accumulated 4 sacks and 2 safeties in the win over the Gotham Rogues. His final sack on fourth down with under a minute left sealed the game.
Lineman of the Week: Christian Plante, Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe
Plante had 5 receptions and a touchdown offensively while getting a pair of sacks on defence.
Rookie of the Week: Kyle McLean, the Replacements
McLean had 13 receptions and 3 TDs on offence, as well as an interception returned for a touchdown.
Week 1 Players of the Week
SACKVILLE, NB -
Offensive Player of the Week: Tyler Mirco, The Replacements
Mirco had 12 receptions for 5 TDs in a blowout win over Too Hot to Schandl.
Defensive Player of the Week: Tyler Mirco, The Replacements
Mirco intercepted five passes, returning one for a touchdown in the same game. He becomes the first player in ACFL history to be both Offensive and Defensive Player of the Week in the same week.
Lineman of the Week: Max Fitzgerald, Gotham Rogues
Fitzgerald caught 7 passes for 2 TDs and an extra point on offence, giving up only one sack, while getting 2 sacks defensively in the Rogues' comeback win over Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe.
Rookie of the Week: Andrew Klain, Gotham Rogues
The spark for the Rogues' comeback victory, Klain caught 11 passes for 4 TDs and a pair of 2-point conversions to lead the Rogues to victory.
ACFL Teams Named for 2013
SACKVILLE, NB - The four teams have announced their team names for the upcoming 2013 season.
Gotham Rogues - Iain MacMillan
The Replacements - Mike Lowe
Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe - Alex Field
Too Hot to Schandl - Wray Perkin
Perkin to play ACFL despite new job
Dave Naylor, ACFL Insider
SACKVILLE, NB - It appears as though Wray Perkin will play out his ACFL career before moving South of the border.
Despite his new job as head coach of the NFL's Chicago Bears, Perkin said today in a statement that he would finish his playing career and play this season, as he had already committed to it and "Didn't want to cause any more hassle by saying I would be a captain and then just decide not to play."
Perkin's announcement also commented on his excitement about returning to the league as a player, and his eager anticipation in looking forward to the ACFL Draft on Sunday. "My management staff and I have already put in a substantial amount of time in figuring out our draft boards, which also factored into my decision to stay for the season. I can't wait to assemble my team and make a run for the Championship."
Had he opted to move to Chicago right away, Perkin would have been the second captain this week to drop out of the ACFL after Richard Deschamps withdrew with injury problems. In a radio interview with TSN following his announcement, Perkin spoke of his past experience as commissioner in 2010 and how he knew how difficult it would have been for Deschamps to find a replacement captain for him.
The 2009 ACFL Champion also mentioned he was closing in on hiring a coach for the 2013 ACFL season; ironic considering his recent hiring as a coach. While he wouldn't name names, it is rumoured that among his final candidates for the coaching job are Tyler Nadolny, Stephen Armstrong, Gary Ross, and Kitty Cudi. Ross is the most intriguing of the names, as he is not currently in Sackville and likely wouldn't be able to come to the games. Head coaches are not mandatory in the ACFL, but teams have had them in the past to help the team captains with in-game decisions and personnel transactions.
Perkin takes over the Bears after a three-year ACFL playing career as well as being involved in the league office for four years. Perkin has also spent time coaching high school football, mentoring high school sensation Michael Bohan to back-to-back MVP awards. With 19 total seasons of football experience, Perkin had two great interviews with the Bears, who hired him early Wednesday morning.
The ACFL Draft is set for this coming Sunday, January 20 at 1:00pm. Many are expected to attend, and while it is not yet known who will have the first pick, with no consensus number one prospect and little Combine time to work with, many of the captains are playing their cards close to their chest and not revealing who they are favouring at this time.
Deschamps pulls out of 2013 season
Adam Schefter, ACFL Insider
SACKVILLE, NB - The ACFL world was rocked today when Commissioner, Captain and defending champion Richard Deschamps announced he would not be playing in the 2013 season due to Pectoral-Underarm Staff Skin Yersiniosis. In his announcement, Deschamps said he has been suffering from this disease for nearly his whole life, and there is not yet a known cure for it.
Deschamps also said the league would consist of four teams in 2013, much as it did for most of the 2012 season, which was his inaugural season as Comissioner. His role would be solely that of Commissioner, and while no set plans have been laid out, he did mention that he would serve as one of the ACFL officials this season. Jason Schandl, last year's Director of Officiating, has been appointed as the league's official statistician for 2013, and will likely serve in an advisory role alongside Deschamps.
The defending ACFL champion did not seem full of emotion when he announced his decision, saying, "This is something that has affected me for a long time, and will likely continue to affect me. There's nothing I can do about it except live my life with this disease. While I am upset that I won't be able to defend my title, I look forward to ruling my Empire without any distractions."
Deschamps' announcement came as a surprise to many, including league critic Chris Munn, who said via text message, "Deschamps was a corrupt dictator as a Commissioner and Player, I'm glad he will be able to focus on the official side of it without it benefitting himself and only himself. Maybe now the league will finally gain some integrity and become something more credible."
The decision by Deschamps leaves Alex Field, Mike Lowe, Wray Perkin and Iain MacMillan as the four team captains, who will soon have draft-eligible lists at their disposal in preparation for the ACFL Draft, a date for which is yet to be set. Field is the only returning captain from last year, while Lowe has captain experience.
Pectoral-Underarm Staff Skin Yernisiosis is a non-contagious disease which lowers courage levels and obscures judgement. It affects 1 in every 4 males between the ages of 18-25, but only 1 in 30 affected people are aware they have it.
ACFL Captains announced
Rich Eisen, ACFL Network
SACKVILLE, NB - The ACFL unveiled its five team captains this evening in a press conference, with a couple of surprises and a couple of veterans returning.
Richard Deschamps will try and defend his ACFL championship, while Alex Field is the only other returning captain from a year ago. Mike Lowe will step into the pilot seat for the second time, but the first time since 2010 after being draft-eligible last season. Wray Perkin is stepping out of retirement and into a captaincy, and is hoping his experience will pay off for the team he drafts. Iain MacMillan rounds out the captains in a shocking move that is making waves in the ACFL world.
With a pair of first-time captains, and no rookies in the captain's seats for the first time in a while, it appears that they will know what it takes to draft a successful team. MacMillan could find himself in some trouble, not having much experience on the draft boards and being a total duster.
Richard Deschamps (1 year experience) - 2012 ACFL Champion, 2012 Playoff MVP, single-season record holder for completions (148), League Commissioner and Supereme Dictator 2012-13, second year as captain. Former team Vandelay Industries
Mike Lowe (2 years experience) - 2-time ACFL finalist, 2012 MVP, all-time record holder for completions (262) and passing TDs (46), single-season and all-time record holder for times hitting the Flying A (too many), first time as a captain since 2010, second overall. Former teams Forgetting Brandon Marshall and Get Money
Alex Field (1 year experience) - Second year as ACFL captain, drafted 2012 rookie of the year (Morgan McIsaac), only full-time QB in the ACFL. Former team Hoosier Daddy
Wray Perkin (2 years experience) - First year captain, 2009 runner-up for rookie of the year, 2009 ACFL Champion, 2010 League Commissioner, 100% career completion percentage very knowledgeable of all things ACFL, considered a draft expert, all-around good-looking guy. Former teams the Blowtorch Jugglers and Mace Roofing.
Iain MacMillan (1 year experience) - First year captain, has a great boiler. Former team Hoosier Daddy
Intrigue, suspense surround captains announcement
Steve Wyche, ACFL Network
SACKVILLE, NB - There are many rumours surrounding this evening's announcement of the five men who will captain the 2013 ACFL teams, one of which includes league commissioner Richard Deschamps, who was the captain of the championship team last year. With Deschamps' health in question, it is unsure whether or not he will play, but his agent has not given any signs indicating that he won't. The fact that Deschamps won't be at the press conference this evening makes me think that he intends to play, and either does not want to be bothered with questions about his health, or does not want to overshadow everything as there may be other storylines at play.
Tyler Nadolny, the spirited and rambunctious captain of last year's disappointment Get Money, hasn't confirmed anything either, but if he does choose not to play or to be a captain, it will certainly leave some ACFL fans looking for a new team. Nadolny was a fan favourite last year, so his presence could be sorely missed by the ACFL if he opts out.
It's widely believed that Mike Lowe will make his return to the league, as will Alex Field. The two will once again match wits and arms against each other after some epic showdowns last season. Lowe sits first all-time in ACFL completions and touchdowns, and will look to build on his records while keeping the number of passes hitting the Flying A logo to a minimum. Field hopes to bounce back after a disappointing finish to the season being blown out in what is considered the most boring ACFL Championship game ever. A league-high 14 interceptions and 11 sacks against will likely have Field looking for an offensive lineman with an early pick if he does return. If either Lowe or Field doesn't return, it would be a surprise to many in the ACFL Insider's circle.
One of the more intriguing rumours surrounding the announcement regards former ACFL Champion Wray Perkin. The wily veteran has reportedly been contemplating coming out of retirement, but has said in previous years he would only do so if he was able to captain a team. With a 100% completion percentage in his two previous ACFL seasons combined, Perkin's decision to play could be one of the biggest storylines in the past two years. Currently the league's Director of Communications and Media Relations, it isn't likely he'll relinquish those duties but it will be interesting how they will impact his draft strategy and playing ability.
While it has been confirmed via Perkin's sources that there will be at least one very odd surprise captain, it is unclear who the surprise will be. The most likely candidate would be Morgan McIsaac, who was the ACFL's rookie of the year last season. Also a strong possibility could be Brandon Dubs, while Te Nguyen's name has also been mentioned in the past few days. Other candidates could include Josh Blanchard, Jacob Leblanc and Ben Grass.
Whichever five names are announced this evening, it will be the official opening of the campaign for the 2013 ACFL Championship, with the ACFL Draft List unveiling and Combine next on the schedule.
ACFL Captains to be unveiled this evening
SACKVILLE, NB - The Athletic Centre Football League will be announcing the team captains for the 2013 season this evening during a 5:00pm (Atlantic Standard Time) press conference. The press conference will be held here in Sackville and will feature members of the ACFL Administration announcing the five captains.
The list of captains will be made available on the website immediately following the press conference.