The Real ACFL Awards for 2013
Everett doubled up in the Real Awards
The Athletic Centre Football League is proud to announce its Real Award Winners for 2013. The ACFL administration would also like to take the time to thank all players, officials, and fans from this season. You’re all dusty as hell and super gay, but we love you.
Nick Kukkonen Bust of the Year Award
Perkin was possibly the most-hyped player coming into the season, captaining and quarterbacking a team in his return after a two-year absence. His debut at QB was almost worse than any story told by Soupy.
ACFL Spirit Award
Blanchard showed the true spirit of the ACFL by expressing his desire to play, until he got drafted by Iain MacMillan, which prompted his quick retirement. Josh, we at the ACFL salute your spirit.
Participants of the Year
The Wu / The Cookie Monster
For the second year in a row, Dennis Williams and Harold Jarrett King III are the participants of the year. For their colourful in-game celebrations, hateful comments and online content, they are truly the most involved in the ACFL.
Luke Ekoh Composure Award
Also for the second year in a row, MacMillan takes home this award for his outstanding composure and keeping his cool in the most intense situations. NOT. Insert joke about hitting the ceiling with a pass here.
Official of the Year
Stephen Pookie Crossland
He reffed a game and didn’t even blow his whistle once. What a champ.
Man of the Year
Curtis “Skeletor” Bawn
We’re actually pretty serious about this. The kid did a good job.
Stu Moore Hater of the Year Award
For actively advising people not to play ACFL and shitting on the league all year, this one was a given. Thank you Bunsen.
Moment of the Year
After Too Hot to Schandl scored their first touchdown of the year – in their second game – Quang turned to the crowd and said “Hey everyone, we got a point…SUCK IT” (doing “suck it” gesture with his hands). The ACFL at its finest.
Fans of the Year
Jordan Botel and Katie Cote
They were at almost every game. Honourable mention to Catherine Leblanc for going to all of the games, even though her boyfriend only played in two.
Iron Man Award
For staying mentally tough and playing through several injuries, most serious of which was Severe Labial Sanditis.
He didn’t show up to any games last year and only played in the last couple of this season, showing true commitment and dedication.
Outstanding Citizen of the Year
He quit to free up time in his busy schedule of sleeping in and playing video games to volunteer in the community.
Hoppy Flop of the Year
In the championship game, Everett executed a perfect Hoppy Flop on Mike Lowe. Like we're talking perfect. It was almost like watching Chris Hopkins out there.
Energizer Bunny Award
Robbie “Noodle” Baxter
The kid got suplexed like eight times, ripped half of his shirts, and still didn’t quit on any play or any game throughout the season. Respect.
Wipeout of the Year
Christian Plante (feat. Hank)
Underachievers of the Year
They had two of the all-time time leading receivers on their team, and produced the Rookie of the Year. But they were shit. Thanks for nothing, Iain.
Overachievers of the Year
Too Hot to Schandl
Nobody gave them a chance in any game this season, and they were in the final. Provin’ da haters wrong since 2013, bitchez.