Last Updated: August 16, 2017 
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Midseason Random Thoughts

June 20, 2017

So we’re halfway through the 2017 season. We needed to fill some content, and it’s a really slow day at the web admin’s office. So let’s get right into the highlights of the season thus far, Jayson Stark random thought style.

- DK continues to step up his off field game, actually shotgunning a few beers. Confidence levels are approaching 7%
- Matt Wenham is leading the FMBA in post game shotguns, and errors made by red headed first basemen. No correlation.
- Since having a kid, President Sid has done the opposite of most people, by playing the worst baseball of his career.
- Bach and recently MJ both knocked up their wives. Bach is leading the FMBA in average and MJ in HR’s. There’s a sex joke in there somewhere.
- In his first game of being a manager, Breen is 1-0, with a 15 spot with 2 out inning on his record. Coach Shane was last seen digging his own grave.
- Jared brought a date to the ballpark, but it was not from Grinder. In fact it wasn’t even a dude at all.
- Peter has warmed up in the bullpen during every single game this year.
- Cody Bangarang finally has an ERA.
- Kaleb has a great pipe. It is so good that he left all his gear and uniform at the park in a haze.
- We played our best baseball with Nelly sitting in the stands drinking ciders.
- John Forno showed up to a 9am game with dress clothes and no baseball equipment, or recollection of the previous 2 days.
- Part timer Fallsy shows up whenever, never practices, and has 5 doubles and 2 triples in 20 at bats.
- 4 year college player Easton does not own an actual bat, but is hitting .375
- Guy wears contacts now and has hit a curveball.
- Graydon’s girlfriend has not showed up since the preseason party.
- Chico can throw his helmet more accurately then he can a baseball.
- Steve is smarter then Burlo
- The phrase “Evan would have made that play” is #truth because of his 1.000 fielding percentage
- Shawn can get you a deal on a new car but only if you tell him Lanny sent ya.

2017 Preseason Predictions

April 20, 2017

We are two weeks from the season starting. Here are the 2017 Cards pre season predictions. Looks like we’ve already crossed one off the list.

1. Peter and League President Trask braid each other’s hair
2. We have 10 guys for playoffs
3. Matt Wenham leads the team in home runs hit in the batting cage.
4. An Ambulance shows up at the park during the 2017 season
5. Dave Kelly gains a personality
6. There are at least 3 stagettes at Bellinis in Red Deer during the Riggers tourney.
7. Evan has more in game smokes then plate appearances
8. Guy makes contact with precisely zero curveballs
9. Jared brings a Grinder date to the park
10. Coach Shane shifts from RF into damn near center field against at least one right handed hitter, when we are pitching that hitter hard away
11. Sid gives his son (expecting soon) a commemorative glitter tattoo
12. Someone who is not good complains about their league stats not being correct on the FMBA site.
13. Chico gets injured playing on another team (again)
14. Burlo comes back for one game and says “Same Old Cardinals” within 5 minutes.
15. Pierre wins the FMBA MVP award (again)
16. Easton comes back from college at the U of C and hits under .200 in the FMBA (again)
17. We get rained out on a day when it is at least 25 degrees outside, with no rain
18. Carp is kept on the roster only because he knows how to start a charcoal barbecue
19. Someone other than our 9 hitter hits a homerun this season
20. We retire doing the game writeups due to sheer laziness (sorry folks)