1. Make sure your child knows that, win or lose, scared or heroic, you love her, appreciate her efforts, and are not disappointed in her. This will allow her to do her best without fear of failure. Be the person in her life she can look to for constant positive reinforcement.

2. Try your best to be completely honest about your child’s athletic capability, her competitive attitude, her sportsmanship, and her actual skill level.

3. Be helpful but don’t coach her at the dinner table or on the way to or from the field. It might be tough for you not to, but it’s a lot tougher for the child to be inundated with advice, pep talks, and often critical instruction.

4. Teach her to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be out there trying, to be working to improve her skills and attitudes. Help her to develop the feel for competing, for trying hard, for having fun.

5. Try not to re-live your athletic life through your child in a way that creates pressure: you fumbled; you lost as well as won. You were frightened, you backed off at times, and you were not always heroic. Don’t pressure her because of your lost pride.

6. Let the coach be her coach and you be her parent. She will have many coaches in her life. But, you will be her only mom or dad.

7. Don’t compare skill, courage, or attitudes of your child with other members of the team.

8. Get to know the coach so that you can be assured that his/her philosophy, attitudes, ethics, and knowledge are such that you are happy to have your child under his/her leadership.

9. Always remember that children tend to exaggerate, both when praised and when criticized. Temper your reaction and investigate before overreacting.

10. Make a point of understanding courage, and the fact that it is relative. Some of us can climb mountains, and are afraid to fight. Some of us will fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened in certain areas. Explain that courage is not the absence of fear, but a means of doing something in spite of fear or discomfort. The job of the parent of an athletic child is a tough one, and it takes a lot of effort to do it well. It is worth all the effort when you hear your youngster say, “My parents really helped me get where I am.”