Greater Keene Men's Softball Association

Spoiler Alert...

Anyone that DVR'ed the games stop reading now!

O'Neal

Frazier & Son 16 - Keene Transmission 15 (in 8 innings)...
Marty Sheldon, coach (and now star pinch hitter) for Division 4 Frazier & Son Furniture came through in a large way this evening at O'Neal. Putting aside the turmoil and frustration of the "Complaint Night" meeting Marty decided it was time to take his hero shoes out for a test drive. After overcoming a large early deficit Marty and his young band of Spartans chipped away and pushed the mighty Keene Transmission into extra innings. Marty had saved himself all night for such a moment. Feeling poised, primed, and focused, the leader inserts himself into the lineup. The smell of Division 4 glory hung thick in the late April air over O'Neal. One swing of the bat and Martin has himself his finest softball moment since his triumphant victory over Kong Trophies in the 2015 Division 5 finals. There will be no championship sweatshirts handed out just yet for this spunky bunch but something feels special about this group or at least their leader anyway. 

EngraveIt.Biz loses the game and their ace...
Steve Burke couldn't finish what he started and left the game early after what appeared to be a knee injury while batting. Tyler Johnson came on to pitch and held down the fort admirably. The eternally young Mark Constine also logged an inning or 2. However, despite the combined Engrave It pitching effort Athens cruises to a 15-7 victory.

Durling

Keene Monument puts the boots to 2-time defending Division 1 champs...
Dan Meattey and the Monument machine somehow overcame the disappointment of yet another opening night with no snack shack, and went on to treat Cole Castor & company like an all you can eat Durling Dog buffet in a vicious 7th inning rally.  One can only assume that the 7th inning unraveling of the defending champs has to be be blamed on poor coaching. When asked about the sudden momentum shift coach Cole Castor shrugged and invited me to count his softball trophies. Point taken. He then added "we're on to Fenton."  No trophies are handed out in April but glory can be found. The town of Troy rejoices the Monument victory. Victory parade to follow. Date & time TBD. 
Keene Monument 13 - Carlisle 6

In other action at Wheelock Leon's Auto Center defeated GB 11 14-9.

Over at the Legion Cheshire Med beats Walier Chevrolet 6-4 and J&G downed E.A.I. 8-4. 

Friday, April 28

Mud Dogs down defending D2 champs…Mud Dogs 7 – Paquette 2

Yankee Lanes bowls over Stingray 20-8

Liberty Mutual insures easy victory with 25 runs…
U-G-L-Y they ain’t got no alibi, this was UGLY!  Liberty Mutual 25 – C&S 10

Benchwarmers may want to turn to the starters after losing to Nanotech 17-6

Saturday, April 29
O’neal

Pine Heights pounds Poanessa in 5 innings…
Despite being the most likely candidate on the Pine Heights Nursing Home roster to need the services of said sponsor, Kyle Rider didn't look a day over 55 as he pitched himself a beauty.  While most men his age are sipping prune juice, taking up golf, shuffleboard or BINGO,  Mr. Rider prefers to crush the dreams and batting averages of young softball hopefuls. Mission accomplished in this one! With a 6 run lead in the bottom of the 5^th Darren Candello of Pine Heights launched a 3-run homer to end it early. Coach JP Cavolo is all smiles.  Pine Heights 13 – Poanessa 4

Brick House Tile 9 - Rountree Ford 2

Wesfield Construction 4 - Greenwald Realty 3

Old Heritage K-9 can’t fetch a victory…
King Richard and his disobedient dawgs barked up the wrong tree in this one, and Lutz Property Services rubbed their noses in a season opening loss.  Old Heritage will look to get the whole pack on track in the next one.  Lutz 7 – Old Heritage 3

Lindy’s Diner adds PAIN & DEFEAT to their menu…
Marty looked a bit more human in this one but that was no matter.  Unlike their D4 sister team( Frazier & Son) on Thursday night, Lindy’s had no need for heroics from their fearless leader.  Young Vincent Cormier & company cash in and laugh all the way to the bank as they make a deposit in the win column.
Lindy's Diner 15 - Savings Bank of Walpole 9

Durling

Country Flair Lawncare gets iced by the Eskimo Bros…7-5

Chabott Oil delivers on weekends…
This one was relatively easy for the veteran fuel crew.  However, if anyone thinks this loss dampened the spirits of Party Rockers,  you best Chickity-check yo self before you wrickity-wreck yo self. The party rolls on and no keg will be left untapped on opening weekend!   
Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 9 @ Party Rockers 1

ConvenientMD finds the cure…
It was an epic battle of Division 3 powerhouses and unfortunately someone had to lose.  The doctor was in for ConvenientMD and he prescribed a few more runs and a little defense and said “call me after the 7^th inning and tell me how you feel.” Chad Beede and his D3 patients will tell you that winning truly is the best medicine!  The Anglers will look to correct the angle of their dangle and reel in a victory in the next one.   ConvenientMD 11 - Anglers 10

Keene Monument off to 2-0 start…
Dan Meattey and company looked inspired in their easy victory over Leon’s Auto Center.  With the smell of grilled goods from the open Snack Shack flooding the Durling air the Monument crew scored, scored, and scored some more and then came back for seconds and washed it all down with a large fountain-fresh victory cola.  It’s back to the shop for some minor repairs for the Leon’s lineup.  
Keene Monument 12 - Leon's Auto Center 3

J&G out-nasties Pro Nasty…
J&G looked like an offensive force to be reckoned with as they bombed the Durling pines and rolled to a 12-4 win.  Pro Nasty was a bit more on the Pro Disgusting side in this one. This too shall pass. 17 more games to go!

Lola’s Pizzeria serves up a deep dish of disappointment at Durling for Fuller...
Fuller Machine kept it close but Lola’s holds on for the 11-7 victory.  The town of Troy has a lot to be thankful for this opening weekend.  If this winning keeps up the Troy, NH Board of Selectman may need to consider just buying a fleet of duck boats for all the victory parades to come and the GKMSA logo/motto may need to be edited to read Keene, NH “WAS the softball capital”

Sunday, April 30

O’neal

The cars prevail over the couches…
What wins on Sunday sells on Monday!  That being the case, maybe you should head on down to Walier Chevrolet on Monday and buy yourself a new or pre-owned Chevrolet!  Sorry Marty, but you can’t win them all. 
Walier Chevrolet  12 – Frazier & Son Furniture 8

Nanotech starts 2017 off at 2-0…Nanotech 26 – Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 15

Poanessa builds early lead, but Coll’s rallies and cleans house…Coll’s Cleaning 15 – Poanessa Builders 7

Penuche’s Ale House hits happy hour hard…
Penuche’s poured on 7 runs through 2 innings and then Brian Ward stepped in and informed the Penuche's offense it was shut off for the rest of the evening.  Lucky for the Green Machine, “Ole reliable” Rider played bouncer and slammed the door shut on any potential comeback with a strikeout and 4 putouts of his own. Lutz was aided by 2 pathetic Penuche pop ups from Chad Corbeil that made their day a little easier. Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name…buuuut sometimes you’d rather drink alone, with nobody else. When I pop up twice to the middle infield, I prefer to drink by myself!   Penuche’s Ale House 7 – Lutz Property Services 4

Durling

Engrave It gets .BIZ-ee blasting bombs…

Tyler Johnson belted 2 bombs and teammate Justin Wilson(aka Jasper Jones) decided it looked like fun so he also tested out his home run trot.  Dan Whipple chipped in with an inside the park homer as well. Gordie doesn’t have to wait until game 17 for his first victory this season. The Miller High Life always tastes a little sweeter after a W.
EngraveIt.Biz 17 – Keene Transmission 9

And I think they’re still scoring out at Durling…
Oh Mylanta! Pitching and defense are so old school and boring.  Give me a beer, a hot dog and a good old fashioned scoreboard buster at Durling!   EAI 21 – Athens Pizza 19

The Benchwarmers’ bench gets chilly & lonely, nearly floats away …
There was no time to sit and warm the bench on Sunday as the Benchwarmers spent the afternoon relentlessly rounding the bases on the new kids in D6.  Benchwarmers 24 – StingRay Optics 1

Anglers have another one get away…Liberty Mutual Insurance 13 – Anglers 11

Monday, May 1

Brown

Cheshire Med flatlines in the 7th...
Cheshire Med led most of the way but Pro Nasty quietly kept it close.  Carrying a 9-7 lead into the top of the 7th inning Cheshire Med saw their lead loaded onto a stretcher and into an ambulance then rushed to the ER where it was pronounced DOA. Pro Nasty puts up 4 runs in the top of the 7th then Jeremy Rider gets all NASTY and slams the door shut in the bottom of the 7th for the complete game victory. 
Pro Nasty 11 - Cheshire Medical 9

Greenwald runs over Rountree Ford...Greenwald Realty 23 - Rountree Ford 12

Durling

Eskimo Bros. coveniently find the winning remedy...Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 15 - Convenient MD 13

Carlisle puts the wood to Fenton in 8 innings...
Freddy Shaw started for Carlisle and gave up a run before leaving due to injury after about 3 innings of work.  Hopefully it's nothing a little wood putty can't patch up for the veteran pitcher.  Coach Cole Castor then turned to the bullpen, and called on the crafty Matt Smith to nail it down, and hand a Troy-based team a loss for the first time in 2017. Just like previous occasions the immense talent of this Carlisle group overcame the shortcomings of their coaching and they came out on top. Tyson Cole had 3 fantastic catches for Carlisle and the Fenton shortstop was stellar as well.
Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 3 - Fenton Family Dealerships 2

Tuesday, May 2

Durling

Engrave It means .BIZ-ness...
EngraveIt.Biz put it all over E.A.I. Tuesday night.  Tyler Johnson tossed a gem, Nasty Nate Johnson went 3-4, while Scott McCord and Josh Whipple each had homers for EngraveIt.Biz. A name change plus a couple of new faces and last season is a distant memory for the 2016 losing machine that went 1-17!  EngraveIt.Biz 15 - E.A.I. 3

Walier Chevrolet 15 - Keene Transmission 5

Underwood

Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 13 - Brick House Tile 11

Brown

Wesfield Construction 14 - Hamshaw Lumber 9

Fuller Machine @ Lutz Property Services - Rained out.

Wednesday, May 3

O'neal

GB 11 gets a free W...
Apparently King Cole decided the defending champs could use a night off after trumping a Troy team Monday. 

Mops beat the mowers in spring cleaning showdown...
I just love the smell of Lysol in the month of May! Coll's dusted off the lumber and continued their early spring clean up with another convincing win. Richard Dicey is now sporting a 2-0 record after another very tidy performance on the mound. Nick Davis showed off his wheels with an inside the park homer, while Anthony Dematteo roped a ball into the right field corner that should have been a triple but he fell in love with 2B and decided to call it home. Ant would eventually move on to 3B and eventually score on a passed ball. Country Flair Lawncare will look to spruce things up a bit before their next one.
Coll's Cleaning 20 - Country Flair Lawncare 12

Underwood

Savings Bank of Walpole are party poopers...
Nothing like a wet blanket on a cold windy night! SBW decided to break up the party and in doing so they lend Party Rockers their second loss. After a couple days to recover from the weekend the Party Rockers managed to keep it close. Tough loss, but win or lose they booze! 
Savings Bank of Walpole 16 @ Party Rockers 15 

Troy
Keene Monument @ Fenton Family Dealerships PPD due to umpire shortage

Thursday, May 4

O’neal

Hamshaw Lumber, when you're building it right...
AND winning softball games! Hamshaw measured up Lindy’s, made a couple cuts, built a lead, nailed down the victory and then asked for the dessert menu. Check please! Hamshaw Lumber 17 - Lindy's Diner 7

Dogfight at the O'neal Corral…
The Mud Dogs said “our red rockets are bigger than yours” and those dirty dogs proved it. They treated Old Heritage K-9 pitches like a fire hydrant late in the game and peed all over Richard Dicey’s offerings. Consider this territory marked! O’neal belongs to the Mud Dogs on this day. Old Heritage hopes that maybe the sun will shine on their backside in the next one. Mud Dogs 11 - Old Heritage K-9 4

Durling

Pine Heights takes the W from Wholesale…
Pine Heights is off to a 2-0 start with a little help from Seth Seymour who hit a pair of bombs and Ron Cormier who also went Yahtzee. Once again the “Old Man of the Mound” holds it down. JP Cavolo smiles all the way to the beer garden. Pine Heights 12 - C&S Wholesale Grocers 5

Things are warming up! Consider the bench on FIRE...Benchwarmers 19 - Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 13

Underwood

Pitching and defense look queasy, somebody better call a doctor…Cheshire Medical 25 – J & G 20

Hanna

Nanotech is a Division 6 doormat no more, starts 2017 at 3-0…Nanotech 22 - Sting Ray Optics 12

Friday, May 5

Mother Nature is the only winner today. All games are rained out. Make up games will be posted soon.

Monday, May 8

Durling

Ice fishing in May...
Chilly temps and eskimos? Grab the auger and tip-ups boys! That flag popped up and I'll be damned if the Anglers didn't reel in their first largemouth W of the season. 
The Anglers 19 - Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 10

Leon's lineup tuned up, runs like new...Leon's Auto Center 6 - Keene Monument 4

Brown

Fuller Machine grinds out 1st win of 2017...Fuller Machine 8 @ Lutz Property Services 2

Pro Nasty knocks the stuffing outta Frazier & Son...
It was a tie game heading into the 4th inning when Pro Nasty says "f*** yo couch Marty" and went all Rick James on Frazier pitching while batting around. Chad Corbeil led off the 4th with a double and later scored on a Chris Merkle single and the rout was on. Later in the 4th the Chads came through again, Corbeil hit a single and then scored from 1B on a Chad Sharkey inside-the-park homer. Corbeil probably hasn't scored twice in the same inning since the Clinton administration ended. Marty looked into his hero bag for a bat that could crush a 9-run pinch-hit bomb in the 5th but failed to find such a stick so he saved himself for the next meeting. Jeremy Rider breathes a sigh of relief on the mound. Pro Nasty 15 @ Frazier & Son Furniture 6 (5 inn)

Underwood

Fenton drives away with a D1 W...
If you're in the market for a new or pre-owned vehicle maybe you should visit Tim Stone at Honda of Keene, part of the Fenton Family of Dealerships! Trade in your used car, truck or SUV and Tim might even toss in a tip about how to win yourself a D1 softball game. Fenton Family Dealerships 11 - GB11 4

Tuesday, May 9

Durling

Chabott offense fueled up and cooking with gas...Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 18 - Savings Bank of Walpole 10

Penuche's tames the poochies, Old Heritage offense plays dead...
In a recurring theme for 2017 the "Old Man of the Mound" once again holds it down and surrenders just 1 run in 5 innings. Justin Carter would get the first hit for Old Heritage in the 3rd inning, and would later score  the only OHK-9 run) but the highlight of the 3rd inning was the way it ended. The old ace for Penuche's pulled a string and Anthony Dematteo struckout with a vicious swing. Anthony would sort of redeem himself later in the game with a solid base hit. Ant would not be the only strikeout victim on this evening. Prez Penuche himself, Cole Castor apparently decided running on such a cold evening is overrated so he watched strike 3 sail on by. Those who can no longer do, coach. Those who can no longer coach, ummmmm...stick to their day job? Cole, just remember that Carlisle is happy to have you back this morning.
In the 4th inning Justin Carter popped up a bunt attempt that was caught by Penuche's catcher Josh Fairbanks who then rifled a throw to 1B to double up former GKMSA prez, (and current Old Heritage K-9 alpha dog) Richard Dicey to end the inning. Jon Wood played great at 2B and Sam Crotto had a fantastic defensive night in CF for Penuche's as well.
Penuche's will want to keep the Milk Bones handy as they return to the Durling dog pound Monday night to take on the Mud Dogs. Old Heritage K-9 will crawl out of the doghouse and hop back on the Carter-coaster to head to Swanzey next Tuesday to take on Fuller Machine. Penuche's Ale House 10 - Old Heritage K-9 1 (in 5 inn)

Brown

Keene Transmission shifts into overdrive and says "analyze THAT"...Keene Transmission 10 - E.A.I. Analytical Labs 7

If you build it Lindy's will come (and beat you)...Lindy's Diner 20 - Wesfield Construction 17

Underwood

Convenient MD says prognosis looks poor for Poanessa...Convenient MD 16 - Poanessa Builders 8

Wednesday, May 10

O’neal

Party Rockers rock Hamshaw…
Do you know where your children are? Lock your doors and hide your alcohol! Hunker down with your loved ones and prepare to have your village pillaged. The Party Rockers have found the WIN column and there is bound to be mayhem! I was shocked but pleased to see the city was still standing Thursday morning and all cars were still upright on all 4 wheels, and no cars or couches left smoldering either.
Party Rockers 14 - Hamshaw Lumber 13

EngraveIt .Bizy bodies on the bases, carve out another win…
Gordie displays veteran coaching skills and schools his young apprentices in the art of softball glory. The old sensei Gordie "Quimby" Miyagi, and his young grasshoppers welcome Athens into their D4 dojo of death and defeat and crane kicked their way to a decisive win. Wax on Gordie son.
EngraveIt.Biz 17 - Athens Pizza 9

Troy

GB 11 gets some revenge for Monday’s loss…GB11 6 - Fenton Family Dealerships 4

Underwood

It’s a BRICK HOUSE victory…Brick House Tile 12 - Greenwald Realty 3

Hanna

Nanotech continues red hot start, leaves bench to cool, and smolder…Nanotech 18 - Benchwarmers 11

Thursday, May 11

Durling

Walier Chevrolet puts the pedal to the medal in the 6^th…
Jacob Bedard’s offensive machine has some serious horsepower under the hood. The Walier Wonders have wheels and they know how to use them!  Andrew Clark was a hitting machine who could not be stopped. The wiley tech Kevin Bedard was a Silverado of sorts and solid, like a rock on the mound.
Pro Nasty was trailing most of the day but clawed their way back into the game behind homers from Matt Griffin, and Ian Bosley. After scoring 4 runs in the top of the 6^th to tie the game at 9 Pro Nasty would give all of those runs back in the bottom half of the inning. Kevin Bedard worked his way out of a little trouble in the 7^th and Walier buffed that new W to a showroom shine and took her home to show mom.
Cole Castor was missed by his Pro Nasty teammates as he had “more important things to do.”
Walier Chevrolet 13 - Pro Nasty 9

Leon’s outlasts Carlisle…
In an epic Division 1 battle Leon’s defeated the defending champs in 8 innings at Durling. Justin Frazier had an offensive highlight as he hit a homer for Leon’s. If someone was to ask Justin about the Matt Smith pitch that he abused, I would guess he would say something like “that pitch was a carpenter’s dream, flat as a board and never been nailed…” until Mr. Frazier checked in and nailed said board, or wide plank if you will. One would also assume the ill-advised Smitty offering was prompted by coach Castor from the sidelines. Freddy Shaw shut down the Leon’s offense for 4 innings and Carlisle scored 3 runs in the 7^th to tie the game and force the extra frame. Unfortunately for the Lumber Bunch that’s where the heroics would end. When Carlisle wins we give credit to the players and when they lose you know Cole was in control.
Leon's Auto Center 11 - Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 10

No luck or love for Lutz…Fuller Machine 12 - Lutz Property Services 4

O’neal

Yes you are reading that score correctly…
The Bronx Bombers were led by homers from Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Yogi Berra, Roger Maris, Reggie Jackson, Don Mattingly, Dave Winfield, and Derek Jeter and outstanding pitching from ace Whitey Ford and the Yankees rolled. Oh wait this was Yankee LANES not the Yankee LEGENDS? O’neal was a sea of red and the Yankee Lanes offense was a raging bull.  Yankee Lanes racked up 5 TD’s and a safety but luckily StingRay was able to muster a FG to avoid the shutout.
Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 37 - Sting Ray Optics 3

Cavolo’s crew reaching new heights, Liberty Mutual declares this a total loss…
I’ve been typing this a lot lately, but the “Old Man of the Mound” continues to shut ‘em all down! The age defying legend again laughs in the face of Father Time. Not sure what else to say or if anything else needs to be said at all.
Pine Heights 11 - Liberty Mutual Insurance 6

L-O-L-A Lola’s serves up a slice of sadness for defending D2 champs…
How do you take down the defending champion lumberjacks? You swing a bigger axe! Then you sip champagne that tastes just like cherry cola, c-o-l-a, cola. I’d bet they probably chose to drink a lager of some sort but that doesn’t quite jive with the theme here. As Mike Moody was leaving the field we asked, “how’d you guys do?” and his response “we won by the 8 run rule in 5 innings, 11-4.” To his credit math really is tougher to do at 11:00pm on a school night after kicking ass and taking names for 5 innings. That said, math is no matter when you’re playing this damn good. The town of Troy welcomes home their heroes after another softball triumph on the mean streets of Keene. Troy, NH “The NEW softball capital”. Who can step up and reclaim the title for Keene?  That question remains unanswered.
Lola's Pizzeria 13 - Paquette & Sons Firewood 4

Hanna

Country Flair mows down C&S for 1^st win of 2017…Country Flair Lawncare 10 - C&S Wholesale Grocers 6

Underwood

J & G boys take down the La-Z-Boys…J & G 19 - Frazier & Son Furniture 11

Friday, May 12

O’Neal

Poanessa shows a little flair of their own, winless no more…Poanessa Builders 9 - Country Flair Lawncare 4

Convenient MD has a fever and the only cure is victory…Convenient MD 15 - Coll's Cleaning 10

Hanna

Brick House kicks the tires, leaves the lot with a brand new win…Brick House Tile 19 - Rountree Ford 10

Underwood

I’ll take an Athens special, with extra runs, hold the anchovies…Athens Pizza 7 - Cheshire Medical 5

Troy

Mud Dogs temporarily redeem Keene…Mud Dogs 10 -  Lola's Pizzeria 1

Monday, May 15

Durling

Coll’s cleans igloos too…
Coll’s Cleaning Service continued their Division 3 cleansing campaign. Richard Dicey and his young band of feather dusters are now 3-1 in the young 2017 season. Next up,  Mr. Clean and company get a week off until they look to add ice shanties and tackle boxes to their growing sanitizing repertoire when they take on the Anglers. The Beeze Tees sponsored Eskimo Brothers are now 2-2 and face Poanessa on Wednesday.  Coll's Cleaning 10 - Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 4

Penuche’s gives the Mud Dogs a bath…
Those dirty dogs avoided the tub for 6 innings but Penuche’s finally harnessed those hounds and hosed them down. The “Old Man of the Mound” once again shut ‘em down and the Penuche’s offense wound up the newspaper a little tighter and smacked Rob Theall’s pitches like a bunch of bad dogs in the 6^th. Nasty Nate Johnson came up with the bases loaded and put down a bunt to squeeze in the third run of the inning and put the dagger in the dogs. Adam Egan had the defensive play of the game in the top of the 7^th when he picked a hard hit one-hopper at SS tagged the runner heading to 3B and then fired to 1B to complete the double play. Penuche’s needs to stop picking on pups before PETA gets involved.
*No animals were harmed in the making of this victory.  Penuche’s Ale House 3 – Mud Dogs 1

Underwood

Chabott and Greenwald light up the Legion…Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 21 - Greenwald Realty 19

Brown

Paquette says “your ass is oak and we’re the splitter”…
TIMBEEEERRRRRR! Lutz falls to the defending D2 champs as they record their first win of 2017. It was only a matter of time before this champion chainsaw chopped down a W. Travis Castor and his crew grab their axes and head back into the GKMSA forest in search of their second win next week vs Old Heritage K-9. Lutz looks for a little luck against Lola’s Thursday night. 
Paquette & Sons Firewood 9 - Lutz Property Services 3

Rountree Ford is on the board…
Rountree Ford decided to take a win out for a test drive and said “I like it! I’ll take one.” Rountree celebrated by treating Marty to dessert and served he and his Lindy’s Diner mates  a big ole slice of humble pie. Rountree looks to keep rolling next week vs the phenomenon known as Party Rockers. Lindy’s will review their recipe for victory before they unveil it for a taste test vs Brick House Tile on the 23^rd.
Rountree Ford 12 - Lindy's Diner 11

Tuesday, May 16

Durling

Liberty Mutual walks off with a win…Liberty Mutual Insurance 13 - C&S Wholesale Grocers 11 

SBW hammers Hamshaw…Savings Bank of Walpole 12 - Hamshaw Lumber 8

Brown

Party Rockers still sleeping off their victory party…Wesfield Construction 11 @ Party Rockers 4

Old Heritage K-9 sniffs out their first win…
Dicey’s dogs went digging for a bone and found themselves a win instead. In a game that featured great defense Henry “Happy Feet” Heath had an offensive highlight as he stole home in the 6^th innng. Now that the Old Heritage pack has discovered the winning scent they will be hot on the trail of another victory when they face Paquette next week. Next up for Fuller is Penuche’s. 
Old Heritage K-9 7 - Fuller Machine 5

Wednesday, May 17

O’neal

Sensei “Quimby” and company settle for a brown belt vs Cheshire Med…
Bonzaaaiiiiii!!! There is only room enough for one winner in this D4 dojo. Cheshire Med Kung Fu kicks Sensei “Quimby” Miyagi in OT and sends his pride to the ER. No stitches needed here. Ice and Miller High Life heals all wounds. Drink on Gordie son.
Cheshire Medical 20 - EngraveIt.Biz 19

Fenton says “Let’s win for Tim”…
and that is just what they did. Coach Tim “Keith” Stone was seen leaving the field just before game time. Perhaps the newest member of the family Stone has arrived? The softball world waits to find out. Something tells me old “Keith” Stone may just play out this pregnancy a little longer to slide out pregame and inspire his team to continue their “Win for Tim” campaign. Soooo smooooth. I see Cigars and Keystone Light in the near future.  Fenton Family Dealerships 11 - Leon's Auto Center 6

Underwood

Poanessa pounds the Eskimos, kicks their baby seal...
The Eskimo Bros. threw up a goose egg, or snowball if you will. Beeze Tees didn’t stand a snowballs chance in hell here. Poanessa brought their big boy shovels and buried the Eskimo hopes early in this one. Beeze Tees gets about 2 weeks to dig out from this scoring Nor’eastah when they return to action May 30 vs C&S.  Poanessa will look to build on this win next week vs Team Clean.
Poanessa Builders 19 - Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 0

Hanna

Monument stands erect at the Legion…Keene Monument 13 - GB11 12

Thursday, May 18

Durling

Keene Transmission is just too nasty…
On a humbling evening for Pro Nasty batters that saw “Pinkie” (the Pro Nasty  pink strikeout jersey)  passed around like an Eskimo Brothers prom date, Keene Transmission swiped an extra inning victory. Thursday was a rough one for board members in general. The Prez tried out the new Demarini Shoulder Hugger bat, and it definitely worked as that bat never left his shoulder and he went down looking twice. The Secretary foul tipped a pitch into the catcher’s mitt for strike 3 to end the game, putting the exclamation point on the board humiliation, and in doing so takes home the sweaty pink used and abused Shroud of shame. Oh the humanity! Gilsum has the laugh last here.
Keene Transmission 6 @ Pro Nasty 5 (8 inn)

Athens gets tomato sauce on the furniture, gets the boot…
Marty hates messy house guests! Luckily he paid additional cash to get the spray on stain guard protection. Marty and his mates said "mind you manners" and evicted Bundy and company. Frazier & Son hopes to stay in the winning .Bizness when they face EngraveIt.Biz next Thursday. Athens will practice proper etiquette to avoid potentially making a mess of the upholstery when they face Walier Chevrolet Wednesday.
Frazier & Son Furniture 12 - Athens Pizza 11

O’neal

Sting Ray Optics still looking for first win...Benchwarmers 15 - Sting Ray Optics 7

Anglers reel in a big old Bass-tard of a win…
On an evening that saw the Pine Heights defense display their own idea of catch and release early on, the Anglers reeled in another win in a rain-shortened game. Keeping with the board member humiliation, the “Old Man of the Mound” (and Vice Prez) finally crumbled down and spent the rest of the night keeping the book while perched upon the team commode. To quote Gordon Lightfoot “heroes often fail” although in all fairness this was the first letdown for the OMM in 2017. Pine Heights hopes to clean up their losing landscape next week vs Country Flair Lawncare. The Anglers hope that Coll’s takes the bait on Tuesday.
The Anglers 14 @ Pine Heights 7

Hanna

Yankee Lanes brings the Kryptonite, Supertech falls to 4-1…Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 14 @ Nanotech 4

Underwood

Errors bite J & G, Walier Chevrolet rolls in 5...
The Walier Wonders strike again! It was a 3-2 game in the bottom of the 3rd inning when the wheels came off or J & G. With a runner on and 2 out the Walier batter hit an infield pop up that appeared would end the inning but the ball was dropped. Jacob Bedard’s softball sharks could smell the proverbial blood in the water and began to circle. Luke “Mako” Lower stepped up to the plate and hit a 3-run blast and the Walier feeding frenzy was on! Later in the inning Gally “Great White” Johnson would hit a base clearing triple and he would advance home on an error. When the scoring frenzy was over Walier had posted 9 runs following the error that could have ended the inning. Ain’t that always the way? Goddamn softball.
The win moves Walier to 1st place in Division 4 with a 4-1 record. J & G drops to 3-2 and a 3-way tie for 2nd. Next up for Walier Chevrolet is Athens Pizza on Wednesday while J & G faces Pro Nasty on Thursday.
Walier Chevrolet 13 - J & G 5

Troy

Lutz finds some luck, gleams for Keene…
Take that Troy! Looks like Lutz Property pride is alive and well! I have no game details but in my mind I picture the Lutz team rolling into Troy on horses wearing shining armor (or something all triumphant, and heroic like that) to personally piss on a pizza party. Then they return triumphantly to Wheelock Park with 18 packs and tales of wood bat glory. Next up for Leighton and his conquistadors will be the recently bathed Mud Dogs. Lola’s has 2 weeks off to rally Troy Nation as they prepare to host Old Heritage K-9.
Lutz Property Services 12 -  Lola's Pizzeria 11

Friday, May 19
No games scheduled as the world awaits the Walt...

Monday, May 22

Durling

C&S makes wholesale changes, winless no more…C&S Wholesale Grocers 6 @ Convenient MD 5

Greenwald Realty @ Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane..PPD/Rain Make up TUE. 6/6 6:00pm Underwood

Brown

E.A.I. analyzes the data, determines “18 is greater than 16 therefore we win”…E.A.I. Analytical Labs 18 - Cheshire Medical 16

Mother Nature = Party pooper...Rountree Ford @ Party Rockers…Party PPD/Rain Make up THU. 6/15 9:00pm Durling

Underwood

Liberty Mutual claims a victory…Liberty Mutual Insurance 12 - Country Flair Lawncare 5

Tuesday, May 23

Durling

The Anglers catch, cut, gut & clean Coll’s clock…
Looks like the Anglers have landed their third consecutive W and they’ll be enjoying victory filets for dinner! This was one mess the Coll’s cleanup crew couldn’t conquer. They threw bleach, ammonia and all the Lysol they could find on their cleaning cart at this disaster, but some messes just get the best of ya. The fishermen kicked up more dust on the base paths than any can of Pledge or feather duster could ever compete with. Coll’s never cries over a little spilled milk, or a loss for that matter. They simply grab their mop and bucket and get back to business. The mop squad gets no time off to get over this one as they have a date with Poanessa Wednesday night. The Anglers can head out to deeper water for a couple weeks for some r&r as they too face Poanessa when they return to action on June 6.
The Anglers 14 - Coll's Cleaning 1

Paquette tempers flare up, burn hotter than oak…
Despite a couple of ejections Paquette still managed to chop down Dicey’s determined dogs. Cooler heads eventually prevailed, and the game was played. Can’t we all just get along??? I think Martin Luther King Jr. once had a dream that umpires will not be judged by the color of their uniform but by the content of their character. That one day players and umpires will join hands and together walk as brothers. Maybe I’m misremembering history a little bit here. Blue lives matter. Anyway, Old Heritage K-9 is certainly starting to come out of the doghouse of late, and the underdogs will look to fetch a victory vs Lola’s next Friday. Paquette will meet Penuche’s on Tuesday, May 30 in a rematch of the 2016 Division 2 finals.
Paquette & Sons Firewood 7 - Old Heritage K-9 6

Brown

Fuller Machine bounces Penuche’s…
Travis Hobbs tossed a gem and Fuller Machine served Penuche’s a tall cold glass of disappointment, and for the first time in 2017 Penuche’s had to choke down a losing lager. Another first for 2017 was a Zach Rokes sighting. The rarely seen softball-squatch was reportedly roaming centerfield at Brown Field. This was Zach’s big Penuche’s return since the recent birth of his son. Tim Stone also welcomed a daughter into the world this past week, while Garrett Ball had a son just before the season and Nate Johnson & his fiancee will be having another baby before long as well. Needless to say the Penuche’s dudes were swinging more than just bats this offseason. Honestly, I don’t even dare to share bats with these guys as this may be contagious. This is all actually part of the Future ‘Nuche’s Initiative, an effort to raise a team and fan base for the 2035 GKMSA season and beyond. Excellent start and congrats to all the happy young families!

Despite the distraction of a disgruntled fan (whose car was hit by a foul ball early in the game) and his refusal to return the game ball when asked, both sides displayed solid pitching and tight defense. Congrats to Fuller Machine on their victory over the “Green Machine.” Penuche’s better pick up their heads off the bar, grab some coffee and a cold shower to sober up in time for a meeting with rival Paquette on May 30. Meanwhile Fuller Machine hopes to muzzle the Mud Dogs Thursday night.
Fuller Machine 3 - Penuche's Ale House 2

Wesfield thumps SBW, can kiss any thoughts of a  building loan goodbye…Wesfield Construction 17 - Savings Bank of Walpole 10

Underwood

Lindy’s needs to add more runs to their recipe for success…Brick House Tile 12 - Lindy's Diner 3 (5 inn)

Wednesday, May 24

O’neal

Athens Pizza comes out of the oven hot, cools off quick…
Athens put up 6 runs in the 1^st and another in the 2^nd inning and then the bats went cold as Walier warmed up. Kevin Bedard tuned things up on the mound while the Walier defense stiffened and didn’t allow another run.  The offense started running like a well-oiled machine and poured on 2 runs in the 2^nd, 4 in the 3^rd, and  then exploded for 9 more in the bottom of the 5^th to finish the job and punch out early.  The win brings the first place Walier Wonders to 5-1 on the season. Next up for Walier is EngraveIt.Biz on Thursday, June 1.  Athens hopes to deliver a plate of disappointment and meatballs to Pro Nasty next Thursday.
Walier Chevrolet 15 - Athens Pizza 7

Leon’s hammers out the dents (and the hits), looks good as new…Leon's Auto Center 10 - GB11 5

Underwood

Poanessa walks off with win…
After a controversial safe call at 3B with 2 outs kept the inning alive for Poanessa (and created quite a stir) Nick Twombly put on his hero shoes, stepped into the box with the bases loaded and hit a game changing grand slam. In the bottom of the 7^th inning Poanessa had runners in scoring position and 2 outs and the Coll’s shortstop had a flyball extend just beyond his reach and tip off his glove falling in to allow the game winning run to score. Willy Wonka might suggest sending that shortstop to the taffy puller to stretch those alligator arms out a bit. Oompa loompa doompety doo, when you drop balls it turns into losses for you. Oompa loompa doompety dee, it’s easier to win when you play better D. Defense that is. Next up for Coll’s is C&S while Poanessa faces the fishermen.
Poanessa Builders 11 - Coll's Cleaning 10

Troy

Fenton defends home turf…
The shorthanded Carlisle Secret Service did very little to protect the Prez in hostile territory and once again Troy has their way with another Keene team. Troy International Airport will be hopping as Carlisle will have to board G.K.M.S.Air Force One again and travel back to Troy each of the next 2 weeks to face Keene Monument on 5/31 and then Fenton again on 6/5. Cole may want to bring Seal Team 6 next time. Fenton gets 2 weeks to prepare for the rematch with Carlisle on June 5.
Fenton Family Dealerships 7 - Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 2

Thursday, May 25

Durling

The apprentice schools his mentor…
In a rematch of the 2015 Division 5 finals, Marty son and his Frazier & Son grasshoppers defeated “Quimby” Miyagi and EngraveIt.Biz at O’neal.  Marty son suddenly has a knack for taking down Gordie-led teams. Once upon a time these 2 rivals shared a bench together and now they each thirst for the blood of the other. Overly dramatic build up? Perhaps, but let’s indulge the fiercely overstated drama anyway. This was a back and forth contest until the 7^th when Frazier & Son went bananas on EngraveIt.Biz pitching and lit up the scoreboard with 11 runs to turn a close game into a laugher quicker than Gordie snatching a fly from the sky with chopsticks. Offensive highlights for EngraveIt.Biz include homers by Tyler Johnson, and Scott McCord.  On the Frazier side Tim Carter reached base in all 6 plate appearances, Austin Wilbur was 4-5, and Rob Sachetti pitched well and added a 3-5 showing at the plate. Marty went down looking but redeemed himself later when he hit a triple. These two will rekindle the rivalry when they face off again on July 27 at O’neal. Set your DVR’s now, this is going to be must see TV!  In the meantime Frazier & Son will be on the couch waiting for Cheshire Med to swing by for a visit on 5/31. EngraveIt.Biz will face the first place machine known as Walier Chevrolet on 6/1.
Frazier & Son Furniture 18 - EngraveIt.Biz 8

Apparently Country Flair does tree work too, takes down pines…Country Flair Lawncare 15 - Pine Heights 13

O’neal

Mud Dogs or Mad Dogs? Plummer’s mutts go full Cujo, shred Fuller in 5…Mud Dogs 9 - Fuller Machine 1

J & G gets nasty, rallies back from 5 run deficit…
J & G outlasted Pro Nasty in a rain soaked 2 hour affair that at times made it feel like time was standing still. This was like a Twilight Zone episode where each inning feels like a Complaint Night Meeting where Marty has entered the same roster in ALL 6 DIVISIONS and it will just never EVER end.
The score was 7-2 Pro Nasty in the 4^th and J & G charged back over the next couple of innings and carried a 13-7 lead into the 7^th. Pro Nasty tried to fight back scoring 3 runs in the 7^th and leaving the bases loaded to end it. Jon Balben wore out the Pro Nasty pitching and defense all night while hitting approximately 50 foul balls. He even managed to pull a bunt, A BUNT  that practically hit the fence directly behind him. It’s the type of thing that would leave the Pope swearing like a sailor. Chad Beede should consider Kevin Davis’ replacement found and add Mr. Balben immediately. In fact a DNA test may be in order.  Anyway, J & G will face Keene Transmission on 6/1 and Pro Nasty heads out for a pizza party with Athens also on 6/1.
J & G 13 - Pro Nasty 10

Underwood

I smell pine burning, the bench must be warming up again…Benchwarmers 15 - Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 3

Hanna

42, no this is not a Jackie Robinson tribute just a celebration of scoring…Convenient MD 24 - Liberty Mutual Insurance 18

Friday, May 26

No games - Memorial Day weekend break begins
Have a safe and happy holiday weekend!

Tuesday, May 30

Durling

Did anyone really think Nanotech would lose 2 in a row? C’mon man…Nanotech 24 - Sting Ray Optics 12

Penuches experiences déjà vu, again loses 3-2, to drop to 3-2…
Rider vs Judd, a tale of two pitchers, an epic D2 duel. The “Old Man of the Mound” should know by now that he best toss a shutout if he wants a win. Penuche’s kind of has that Red Sox mentality when Pedro Martinez, Roger Clemens or more recently Rick Porcello take the mound. Apparently if you want to surrender a run or two  you better find a way to score a couple yourself as well. For here on Penuche’s Ale House Airlines the Captain has turned on the “NO SCORING” sign. Let’s not take anything away from Paquette’s Jim Judd who is a savvy old ace himself. Jim kept Penuche’s batters off balance all night, and skillfully worked his way out of a couple of jams.  Tune in Thursday 6/8 as Penuche’s looks to again lose 3-2 when they face Lola’s, who with a win over Old Heritage on Friday would also enter Monday’s contest at 3-2. Next up for Paquette (who is now 3-2) is a Monday tilt vs Fuller Machine who also tagged Penuche’s 3-2 last week (which at that time raised Fuller’s record to 3-2).  I think that makes Paquette and Fuller kinda sorta softball Eskimo brothers of sorts?  Anyyyywhoooo, F U 3-2! WOOOHOOOOO!
Paquette & Sons Firewood 3 - Penuche's Ale House 2

Brown

SBW rips Rountree, offers 0% sympathy rate…Savings Bank of Walpole 17 - Rountree Ford 5

Mud Dogs lift their leg on Lutz…
Lutz may want to grab some paper towel and then go get rabies shots ASAP! The Mud Dogs are foaming at the mouth and rabidly rounding the bases lately. Someone better check their bats and their bones cause something tells me there is more than marrow in there. The Town of Swanzey has a leash ordinance so Rich Plummer better get his muddy mutts muzzled ‘mediately. He also better make sure they are registered, and those home plate hounds best have valid rabies certificates too. Also note that Jess Heglin would probably appreciate it if you dirty dogs clean up any doggy dookie deposited in your dugout. Thanks! As for the Lutz bunch, they may want to call Animal Control before they return to Brown on Monday to again face those pesky pooches better known as the Mud Dogs.
Mud Dogs 21 -  Lutz Property Services 10

Underwood
Beeze Tees stops losing streak at 3...Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 21 - C&S Wholesale Grocers 18

Wednesday, May 31

O’neal

Party put on hold…
The Party Rockers can celebrate their 3 run lead for the next 8 weeks so keep that keg cold until the shenanigans resume on Friday, July 28.
Party Rockers 8 @ Brick House Tile 5   Stopped due to rain-Top of 3rd runners on 1B & 3B, no outs. 
Continuation: FRI. 7/28 prior to scheduled game between these teams at Underwood. If unable to complete regularly scheduled game due to darkness the game will then move over to O'neal at 9:00pm.

Cheshire Med has no pill to cure Mother Nature’s ill…Cheshire Medical @ Frazier & Son Furniture PPD Rain. 
Make up: Monday 6/5 6:00pm@ Underwood

Project put on hold, Wesfield hopes to resume their lead building on 7/26…
Wesfield Construction 10 @ Hamshaw Lumber 9
Stopped due to rain-Top of 5th, 1 out.
Continuation: WED. 7/26 prior to scheduled game between these teams at Underwood. If unable to complete regularly scheduled game due to darkness the game will then move over to O'neal at 9:00pm

Hanna

Roll of thunder, hear Marty’s cry…
Mother Nature didn’t intervene in time to save Marty from the Greenwald onslaught. Greenwald pushed across the game winning run just before the storm could ruin the day. Luckily for Marty and the boys nothing cures the sadness of a tough loss like a little comfort food at Lindy’s Diner. Marty will work on perfecting his rain dance and hopes his prayers will be answered when he and the Lunch Bunch face the raucous Party Rockers on June 8. Greenwald will try to soften up the Party Rockers for Marty on Monday 6/5.
Lindy's Diner 4 @ Greenwald Realty 12 (5 inn)

Troy

Troy, Keene Monument conspire with Mother Nature to take down the Prez…
The Prez and Carlisle packed their softball hopes and dreams into their bat bags and boarded G.K.M.S.Air Force One around 5:25pm on Wednesday at Dillant-Hopkins Airport and touched down at Troy International Airport around 5:27pm. The game moved along swiftly in an effort to beat the thunderstorm that was bearing down on the area but alas the game was called in the bottom of the 5^th as the weather would win the day. The Carlisle motorcade headed back to Troy International for their 2 minute flight back to Keene. The defending champs again leave Troy with a loss and the bitter taste of defeat in their mouths. The nation has not witnessed such a somber Presidential motorcade since the one that left Dealey Plaza on November 22, 1963. I feel a chill in the air. This has all the early makings of the softball equivalent of the Cold War. The Prez and his Carlisle Cabinet head back to Troy next week to work on Keene-Troy relations and maybe even score a win vs Fenton. Keene Monument also has Fenton in their future as there will be Troy on Troy violence when the first battle of the Troy softball Civil War begins at 6:15pm on Wednesday, June 7.
Keene Monument 3 - Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 2 Final. Called in 5 innings due to rain.

Thursday, June 1

Durling

Cavolo and the "Old Man of the Mound" say to Convenient MD “open up and say LOSS”…Pine Heights 13 - Convenient MD 3

Birmingham’s band of bowlers STRIKE again, StingRay feels the sting of 0-7…Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 23 - Sting Ray Optics 13

Benchwarmers join Nanotech atop Division 6 standings…Benchwarmers 15 - Nanotech 10

O’neal

Keene Transmission grinds their gears, J&G drives away winners…J & G 14 - Keene Transmission 9

Pro Nasty eats up Athens Pizza in the 6th…
This game had a little bit of everything, lots of bats thrown out, a bench warning, an umpire collapsing, catchers helping umps up, catchers that dusted the plate for the ump, catchers that got crop dusted, secret crushes forming, great defense and poor defense, offensive fireworks, and just lots and lots of runs scoring. This was also a back and forth affair for 5 innings. 9-8 after 2, 11-10 after 3, 14-14 in the 5^th and then Pro Nasty went Pro Nutty scoring 7 runs in the bottom of the 6^th. Cole Castor’s testosterone was flowing and the Prez was pumped up as he led the offensive charge for Pro Nasty crushing everything he saw while going 4-5. It almost seemed as if he was trying to show off a little. Chicks dig the long ball and Jamie Garfield digs pleasing the ladies, sooooo he crushed a homer for Athens and naturally drove the ladies crazy. Next up for Athens is a dinner date with J & G at the Legion on 6/8. Pro Nasty hopes to be at their nastiest when they face EngraveIt.Biz on 6/7.
Pro Nasty 21 - Athens Pizza 14

Coll’s can’t tackle the C&S mess…
After having all but one of their bats confiscated in the pregame bat check (which had Richard Dicey scrambling to see about last second ASA Certification for their mop sticks) Coll’s came out swinging. They battled admirably but the odds were simply stacked against them.  Try as they might all of Coll’s mops, and all of Coll’s men couldn’t put their lead back together again. Next up for the bat-depleted mop squad is a bat insurance consultation with Liberty Mutual on June 7. C&S gets an extended break before they face Poanessa on 6/13.
C&S Wholesale Grocers 26 - Coll's Cleaning 21

Underwood

Walier Chevrolet is in the car AND winning .Bizness…
Jacob Bedard and his Walier Warriors are winners once again after making quick work of Quimby and company. Walier is now 6-1 and 1 game ahead of J&G for 1^st place. While I’m told it’s lonely at the top I have a feeling it’s probably a satisfying solitary state. Walier prepares for further analyisis when they face E.A.I. on Wednesday 6/7. “Quimby” Miyagi and his young grasshoppers retreat to their Norway Ave dojo to regroup for their showdown with Pro Nasty on June 7.
Walier Chevrolet 13 - EngraveIt.Biz 1

Troy

Leon’s loves Troy, leaves laughing. Troy lists “gently used” duck boats for sale…Leon's Auto Center 7 - Keene Monument 6

Friday, June 2

O’neal

Captain Khial and E.A.I. have Frazier figured out…E.A.I. Analytical Labs 12 - Frazier & Son Furniture 8

Liberty Mutual proves scoring more runs than your opponent is the only way to insure victory…
If you enjoy nice catches followed by crazy overthrows then you’ll love the Eskimo Bros. The ball comes out of their hands about as predictably as a North Korean missile launch. We know it’s going somewhere but the exact coordinates are a mystery. When attending their games please keep your eyes on the action at all times and consider wearing riot gear as well. The Eskimo Bros. can launch offensive bombs as well. General Derrike Schmitt launched a missile attack on the region just beyond the centerfield fence for the Eskimo Bros.  Admiral Arric Mather returned fire with an absolute BOMB of his own for the Liberty Mutual Militia. Next up the Eskimo Bros. plot an aerial assault on their elders when they meet Pine Heights Thursday. Liberty Mutual faces Mr. Dicey and Team Clean on Wednesday night.

Liberty Mutual Insurance 19 - Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 12

Hamshaw says “we’re Chevy guys”, puts wood to Rountree Ford…Hamshaw Lumber 19 - Rountree Ford 14

Underwood

Wesfield is now king of the D5 hill…Wesfield Construction 19 - Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 9

Troy

Lola’s is leader of the pack, downs depleted defeated dogs…Lola's Pizzeria 9 - Old Heritage K-9 1

Monday, June 5

Durling

Convenient MD gets unhealthy dose of Flair…Country Flair Lawncare 14 - Convenient MD 3

Greenwald comes back from early 12 run deficit, kills the keg, wins marathon chugfest,  I mean slugfest…
53 runs? That’s right 53 RUNS! Oh you like defense and dueling pitchers? That’s so cute. Greenwald and Party Rockers say grow a pair, and when your testicles descend, maybe you should burn your gloves, cause this is a hitter’s league son. Speaking of dropping a pair, Zach Derrick hit 2 bombs for the Party Rockers. This swinging little tribute to all that is made of aluminum and stamped ASA would end in the 8^th inning in a pouring rain that accumulated nearly as quickly as the runs. Next up for Matt Black and the Party Rockers will be the original stick in the mud, Marty D. Buzzkill and Lindy’s Diner Thursday 6/8. Greenwald takes on the fuel crew a.k.a. Chabott Oil on Friday 6/9.
Greenwald Realty 27 - Party Rockers 26

Brown

Cujo is still loose in Swanzey, bites Lutz again…Mud Dogs 17 - Lutz Property Services 3

Fuller Machine stays hot, chops down defending champs…Fuller Machine 5 - Paquette & Sons Firewood 3

Underwood(Actually played at Hanna)

An apple a day, replaced by a comfy couch to help keep the doctor at bay?…Frazier & Son Furniture 14 - Cheshire Medical 8

Troy

Fenton is hostile host,  Shuts down Carlisle, WOWs the home crowd…
Mark “King” Beaulieu looked like softball royalty on the mound as he kept the Carlisle offense quiet with plenty of defensive help from shortstop Drew “The Silencer” Ledwith. Drew would muffle any late Carlise comeback noise as he recorded 5 of the last 6 putouts of the game for the Fenton defense. WOW! One such putout required  “The Silencer” to range deep behind 3B and make a throw from the outfield grass to record the out. When asked for comment on the stellar Fenton effort Tim Stone summed it up in one word, “WOW!” Fenton can stick around for some home cooking as they stay in Troy to battle Keene Monument on 6/7. Carlisle will try to climb out of the basement as they take on GB11 on Monday 6/12.
Fenton Family Dealerships 10 - Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 3

Tuesday, June 6

All games rained out and moved to Friday, June 9

Wednesday, June 7

O’neal

Liberty Mutual now 6-2, tighten grip on top spot in D3…Liberty Mutual Insurance 17 - Coll's Cleaning 9

Pro Nasty comes back from 12 run deficit, turns tables on EngraveIt.Biz…
This was basically a whole lot of ugly baked into one big ole sh*t pie and all the folks in attendance at Wheelock Park got to take a bite. Where to begin, where tooooo begin? So Engrave It got .Bizy in the 1^st scoring 10 runs in the blink of an eye. I can’t recall who scored or who did what in that 1^st inning. I just recall a steady maroon blur passing me as I stood at 1B. I wondered if I would ever see my house, my girlfriend, my dogs or even eat dinner again because this is softball hell and I am burning in it’s eternal misery. Then came the 2^nd inning and 4 more EngraveIt.Biz runs.  It’s 14-2 now. The mercy of the 4^th or 5^th inning is still sooooooooo far away. Suddenly a miracle, a glass of ice water was handed down to Pro Nasty in the form of some runs scored. The exact score is unimportant here but we’ll guesstimate 14-8ish in the 3^rd. The bottom of the 4^th rolls around and Pro Nasty goes through the lineup almost 3 times. The 3^rd out is finally recorded and the dust settles with Pro Nasty up 22-14. EngraveIt.Biz just can’t quit, and they score a run in the top of the 5^th to avoid the mercy rule and force Pro Nasty to hit again with the score 22-15 and needing one run to end this mess. Scott Jones leads off the bottom of the 5^th with a triple. Tyler Deyo reaches on a walk then steals 2B. 2 runners in scoring position and no outs. Sounds like it’s smooth sailing, and easily in the bag right? Well here at Pro Nasty we like to keep it Pro Painful and Pro Dramatic. So 2 outs follow then the bases are loaded on another walk. “Big Time” Tommy Hughes steps up to the plate with the bases loaded and 2 outs. Tommy sees strike one, then fouls off strike 2. The suspense is killing me…Then Tommy delivers the whipped cream and cherry on top of this proverbial sh*t pie. A LONG FLY BALL DEEP TO RIGHT…WAAAAY BACK, GONE! WALK-OFF GRAND SLAM! The nightmare game has a happy ending. Any ending was acceptable at that point really but this was pretty cool I guess. Next for Pro Nasty is E.A.I. on 6/12 and Quimby and company prepare to battle J&G on 6/15.
Pro Nasty 26 - EngraveIt.Biz 15

Underwood

Humanotech? Nanotech looking more human lately, Yankee Lanes rolls…Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 15 - Nanotech 7

Hanna

Walier warriors whoop one more, walking away with D4…Walier Chevrolet 10 - E.A.I. Analytical Labs 8

Troy

The Beaulieu’s propel Fenton to a share of top spot in D1…
The first shots of the Division 1 Troy Civil War have officially been fired! Fenton jumped out to an early lead behind some patience at the plate that led to walks and a couple of missiles off the bat of Jordan Beaulieu. Fenton would continue to put up a couple runs here and there to stretch their lead. Then in the 5^th Keene Monument started off with back to back triples by Justin Jarvis and Dom Meattey.  Jordan “Big Gun” Beaulieu would show off his cannon and gun down Mr. Meattey at the plate to keep Monument at bay. On to the bottom of the 7^th we go and Fenton has a 3 run lead. Monument puts on their rally caps and load the bases with 2 singles followed by a walk then plate a run with another single. Next batter flies out to Jordan “Big Gun” Beaulieu in RF and once again he shows off the arm his daddy gave him and gunned down the runner that tried to tag up and score. Keene Monument would drive in one more run to pull within one but the next batter popped up to 1B to end the epic battle. When asked to sum up the game Tim Stone replied “Fenton Family isn't just a Family, it's a ARMY, and it's coming for the Keene men's league crown!” There ya have it folks, this war is officially waged and round one belongs to the Fenton Army of Dealerships. Next up for Fenton is GB11 on 6/14. Keene Monument will get an extended break to clean their wounds before they also face GB11 on 6/19.
Fenton Family Dealerships 8 - Keene Monument 7

Thursday, June 8

Durling

Party Rockers celebrate second win…
Buy stock in Tylenol today! There are bound to be some hardcore hangovers in Party Rockerville. They’ll probably all board the team bus on Friday morning and head over to the drugstore then Lindy’s Diner for some eats and to taunt the sponsor. Next up for the sleep deprived party animals will be Rountree Ford on 6/15. Marty and his waiters will look to serve up a loss to Chabott Oil on 6/15 as well.
Party Rockers 10 - Lindy's Diner 6

Anglers boot Country Flair off the boat, tells them to “have fun playing with your own little dinghy”…
The Anglers 16 - Country Flair Lawncare 3

Paquette narrowly outduels the Dogs at Durling…Paquette & Sons Firewood 10 - Mud Dogs 9

O’neal

The Old Man of the Mound preaches respect for your elders, drops the cane on Eskimo Bros…
Pine Heights 12 - Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 11

D.J. Scheffer looks Scholid, Schines in Penuche’s pitching debut…
Coach Cole decided to ditch the usual Penuche’s Schcript after back-to-back tough luck 3-2 losses and figured it was time to let the Old Man of the Mound sit down. Cole handed the ball to young D.J. to try his hand Schlinging versus his former mates. The New Kid of the Mound, Scheffer Schlipped by Schome Schliders, Schwitched up Schpeeds, got em Schwingin and Schut em down with Schtellar Schtuff until the 5^th when his old teammates began to Schmell what young Scheffer was Schteppin in. So Coach Cole made the call to the BINGO hall, enter the Old Man of the Mound to officially shut em down. This was not all easy for the old fella as he needed some defensive help from his friends. Tim Stone made a spectacular diving game-saving catch in LF to end a 6^th inning rally by Lola’s. Former Penuche’s outfielder Girard Bell hit a triple in the 7^th inning to threaten the Scheffer effort but the crafty old vet hurled his way out of trouble to preserve the win for D.J. “Schowtime” Scheffer. You can take the boy outta Troy but you can’t take the Troy outta the boy and I don’t know where I’m going with that but whatever. I started hearing Sean Connery's voice in my head as I typed this. Next up for Penuche’s is another round with old rival Paquette on Tuesday 6/13. Don Patch and his Lola’s Pizza Posse also awaits Paquette next, when they host the defending champs on Thursday 6/15 in Troy.
Penuche's Ale House 4 - Lola's Pizzeria 3

Underwood

J & G moves to 6-2, continues to stalk the top spot…J & G 16 - Athens Pizza 7

Hanna

Rock, paper, scissors, lumber, tile? Lumber beats Tile…Hamshaw Lumber 18  - Brick House Tile 17

Friday, June 9

Durling

Leon’s levels the eleven,  takes back 1^st place in D1… Leon's Auto Center 8 – GB11 1

Greenwald finds some real estate between Chabott’s cheeks just big enough for a boot…

Greenwald Realty 20 - Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 8

Benchwarmers look great,  StingRay drops to 0-8…Benchwarmers 22 - Sting Ray Optics 4

O’neal

The builders take the bait, Anglers net another win…The Anglers 11 - Poanessa Builders 3

Mortar mashes money…Brick House Tile 7 - Savings Bank of Walpole 4

Monday, June 12

Durling

Beeze Tees outmuscles the mop shop…
Derrike Schmitt hit 2 homers for the Eskimo Bros, the second of which was a monster shot that was rumored to have touched down in West Brattleboro. I personally would have guessed Albany, NY. Clutter on the base paths appeared to be an issue for Coll’s as they got runners on but struggled to clean things up on a couple of occasions. Next up for Coll’s is some hardcore clean up duty at the old folks home as they hope to bring some extra elbow grease when they battle Pine Heights on 6/15.  Beeze Tees will look to mow down Country Flair on 6/22.
Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 8 - Coll's Cleaning 6

What’s up Doc? Keene Transmission’s winning percentage, that’s what…
Keene Transmission 13 - Cheshire Medical 3

Brown

Business as usual in this one, StingRay has lost 9 and won none…Nanotech 21 - Sting Ray Optics 9

Wesfield wallops Rountree…Wesfield Construction 12 - Rountree Ford 2

Underwood

Division 1 basement battle is boiling…Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 8 - GB11 7

Tuesday, June 13

Durling

Penuche’s knocks off their nemesis, still stalking Plummer’s mutts…
Penuche’s was led by great defense as usual and multi-hit games from Josh Fairbanks,  Adam Egan, Dom Meattey and Prez Penuche himself Cole Castor.  The Old Man of the Mound benefitted from solid defense as is so often the case and he even got to bat a few times in this one showing that his true talents revolve around the mound. Penuche’s DH’s can all sleep soundly. As for Paquette’s I’m sure they probably did some good things too. Next up Penuche’s punches their ticket to Lutzstock to experience the phenomenon that is the Summer of Lutz on 6/19. Paquette bounces right back on Thursday 6/15 vs Don Patch and his Lola’s Pizza Posse.
Penuche's Ale House 6 - Paquette & Sons Firewood 3

Nothing to analyze here folks, just move along…E.A.I. Analytical Labs 14 - Pro Nasty 6

Brown

Poanessa kicks off Lutzstock at Brown, it’s the Summer of Lutz maaaan…
Poanessa Builders 10 - C&S Wholesale Grocers 6

Leighton Lutz led teams lay the law down at Brown, Summer of Lutz rolls on…
Lutz Property Services 10 - Old Heritage K-9 9

Underwood

Youthful Yanks blister Benchwarmers…Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 13 - Benchwarmers 2

Wednesday, June 14

O’neal

Mud Dogs continue Cujo-esque mauling of D2 opponents…Mud Dogs 12 - Fuller Machine 4

Leon’s leaves Coach Cole and Carlisle smelling musty, life in the cellar certainly stinks…
Leon's Auto Center 7 - Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 6

GB 11 is equal opportunity forfeiter as they bail out those near the top and the bottom of D1…
Fenton Family Dealerships 7 @ GB11 0(FFT)

Underwood

Greenwald slams SBW, suddenly sneaking up standings…Greenwald Realty 13 - Savings Bank of Walpole 1

Hanna

Frazier wins one for the skipper…

Frazier coach, Marty Sheldon’s mother passed away on Tuesday, June 13. The G.K.M.S.A. board would like to send our sincere condolences to Marty, Keith and the Sheldon family. You are all in our thoughts.
Frazier & Son Furniture 14 - Cheshire Medical 6

Thursday, June 15

Durling

A.BIZ-MAL! EngraveIt.Biz continues their slide, losing streak stretched to 5…J & G 19 - EngraveIt.Biz 14

Athens gots no time for the clutch, totally torches Transmission…Athens Pizza 15 - Keene Transmission 3

Rountree rocked and rolled, party marches on…
It looked like the Party Rockers were going to have to wrangle Rountree minus a Rocker, but everyone knows you ain’t that cool unless you show up fashionably late. Wheelock Park suddenly took on a Bourbon St. feel once the 9^th  Party Rocker  walked up to the bench just before game-time. Matt Black-Out could breathe now and that was just the beginning of the good times. When all the dust finally settled Matt Black-Out and his rowdy rockers had clinched their 2^nd consecutive victory. Next up for P.R. is another meeting with Lindy’s on 6/20 where another win for the Rockers turns this into an official winning streak. Start building your bunkers now I have a feeling we may be on the brink of World War P (for party of course)! Rountree will host Chabott down at Brown on 6/20.
Party Rockers 13 - Rountree Ford 11

O’neal

Old Man of the Mound laughs at cleanliness as he continues climb up the ladder toward  softball Godliness…
Pine Heights 16 - Coll's Cleaning 5

Walier defeats depleted Pro Nasty squad...
Ever have that recurring dream where you walk into the middle of a gun fight reach for your holster and somehow all you’re armed with is a dildo? Me either, but that’s basically what this one amounted to for Pro Nasty.  With only 8 willing participants taking the field, Pro Nasty tried to weather the Walier assault but to no avail. Pro Nasty threw Jeremy Rider, Mike Wilson, and GKMSA Prez Cole Castor at Jacob Bedard’s young bucks and all of them were chewed up and spit out. I’m not certain, but I’m fairly sure everyone on the Walier roster as well as everyone from the sales and service departments scored in this one. Pro Nasty was left walking a little funny after this ass kicking, but we all lived to tell the tale although I think we will all choose not to repeat it. Next up Pro Nasty looks to bum a Band-Aid big enough to cover a shotgun blast and get back on track vs Cheshire Med on 6/27 while Walier also awaits Cheshire Med on 6/26.  Shotguns 1 – Adult toys 0.
Walier Chevrolet 20 - Pro Nasty 2 (4 inn)

C&S takes a lead at the very end to lose the game? Yes, it can (and did) happen…
At the end of the day the mistake didn’t necessarily cost C&S the game as it was an ugly affair anyway, but the ending was anything but typical. Barely clinging to life in the 4^th, C&S had runners at 1B and 2B with 2 outs when the runner at 2^nd had a momentary flashback to baseball and took a couple steps off the bag and set himself with a beatiful lead. Unfortunately softball doesn’t allow such fun so umpire Brandon Stinson had no choice but to be the bearer of bad news as he delivered the final OUT call of the game. OOPS! We’ve all had our moments. Next up C&S goes shopping for life insurance for any other runners that get cute and wander off their bag unexpectedly. Their consultation with Liberty Mututal is scheduled for 6/22 at 7:30PM on Durling. The Anglers have reeled in 6 straight wins and will pack up their tackle as they head to one of their favorite fishing holes when they look to hook Convenient MD at O’neal on 6/21.
The Anglers 14 - C&S Wholesale Grocers 2

Hanna

Chabott cuts off Lindy’s fuel supply, offense is colder than yesterday’s French fries…
Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 7 - Lindy's Diner 6

Troy

Paquette walks into Lola’s house and punches them right in their pizza pie hole…
Paquette & Sons Firewood 4 - Lola's Pizzeria 3

Friday, June 16

Troy

Troy needs the duck boats for another reason as Mother Nature dampens their day…
Fuller Machine @ Lola's Pizzeria…PPD DUE TO RAIN
Make up FRI. 7/21 6:15PM in Troy

Monday, June 19
All games PPD - The ducks are the real winners in this weather!

Tuesday, June 20

Durling

Keene Monument kicks Cole Castor & Carlisle back down the cellar stairs…Keene Monument 21 - Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 17

Come sit down the pine is fine (and toasty) at the top…Benchwarmers 16 @ Nanotech 11

Brown

Chabott is in the driver’s seat, Rountree rundown at Brown…Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 10 - Rountree Ford 5

Liberty Mutual advises, “You need better coverage”, one run deductible costs Poanessa…Liberty Mutual Insurance 12 - Poanessa Builders 11

Underwood

A winning streak is born, alcoholic beverages and life as we knew it must die…
Head for your bunkers! That’s 3 in a row and World War P is underway! For the second time in 3 games Matt Black-Out and his D5 delinquents have vandalized Lindy’s Diner. Prepare for an anarchistic landscape of burning furniture and vehicles, empty kegs and cans blowing around like tumbleweed, shenanigans that would make Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious look like altar boys. President Cole Castor will speak to the terrified GKMSA with his State of the Association address as we all brace for the fallout of a Party Rocker takeover. Party Rockers look to keep their winning streak alive vs Chabott Oil on 6/22 while Lindy’s crawls out from under the rubble of a 6 game losing streak of their own to face Savings Bank of Walpole on 6/22 as well.
Party Rockers 16 - Lindy's Diner 3

Wednesday, June 21

O’neal

Greenwald Realty kicks some Ace, only 1 game back of 1^st place…Greenwald Realty 18 - Hamshaw Lumber 8

“Once upon a time, not so long ago, a monster came to the small town of Castle Rock, Maine”… -Stephen King, Cujo
…or in this case the monster came to Division 2 in Keene, NH. These mangy muddy mutts mangle, maim, and maul all comers. On paper this may look like a dogfight may be on the horizon but in reality it’s just Cujo vs his favorite stuffed toy. After some tail tucking, a flash of fur and fierce yelping Old Heritage K-9 retreats to the doghouse to regroup before they play Paquette tomorrow. Mud Dogs will also play again tomorrow as they look to take a bite out of Lola’s Pizza.
Mud Dogs 18 - Old Heritage K-9 10

Anglers trolling the top, looking to reel in Liberty Mutual…
The Anglers dominated docks of a different kind on this day. The Docs didn’t stand a chance as the crafty old master baiters(you knew this was coming eventually) lured them in and sunk their hooks into another victory. The Shelley’s toss another W in the livewell. Convenient MD looks forward to a make up game vs Country Flair on 6/23. Wednesday, June 28 should bring an epic battle as the Anglers pack up their tackle and chum bucket as they shove off to go head to head with a real trophy fish in Liberty Mutual with first place on the line.
The Anglers 17 - Convenient MD 11

Underwood

Coach Quim.Biz and company .Beat .Bundy and Athens to end their losing slide at 5…
We all knew this team had no .Bizness losing 5 in a row. Coach Quimby Miyagi said “the losing stops NOW” and he put extra emphasis on the DOT in .Bizness as he dragged his young grasshoppers back to the dojo where he buried his .Boot in their .Butts and kung fu kicked their asses into gear. As a reward for their effort EngraveIt.Biz receives a NO expenses paid trip up Rt 10 to lovely Dump Rd. in Gilsum, NH on June 27. Quimby’s karate kids will spend some quality time in the woods with the Keene Transmission crew, and after the game they’ll be treated to a B.Y.O.B.&B.B. beer and baked bean dinner by campfire light. Keene Transmission will provide the fire. To the victor goes all the spoils. Mr. Goodell and Athens will remain in Keene to meet E.A.I. on 6/27.
EngraveIt.Biz 11 - Athens Pizza 7

Gilsum

Frazier spoils Gilsum opener…
Marty and the couch crew cast  a grey sky over the Gilsum home opener on Wednesday. They racked up 10 runs in the first inning to quickly quiet the excited home crowd. Frazier would get inside the park homers from Austin “Wheels” Wilbur and Tim “Crazy Legs” Carter and end this one early. Frazier will face a tough test on 6/28 as they take on the top team in D4 Walier Chevrolet. Keene Transmission will host EngraveIt.Biz on 6/27.
Frazier & Son Furniture 14 - Keene Transmission 5

Thursday, June 22

Durling

The monster never dies, Plummer’s filthy killing machine has a taste for winning and pizza, mauls more…
Rich Plummer just gives the command and his junkyard dogs respond. “Chopper, SIC BALLS” and you can kiss your balls goodbye and consider the game just as gone. Plummer’s mutts ordered up a family size meat lover’s pizza with EXTRA Pup-Peroni, devoured every bite and then went about working it off as they lit up Lola’s. Next up the Mud dogs will host Penuche’s on 7/5. Penuche’s will be in the market for ballistic bite suits before this one. Lola’s looks to defeat a dog of a different kind as they take on Old Heritage K-9 on 7/6.
Mud Dogs 11 - Lola's Pizzeria 3

Liberty Mutual takes over D3 top spot, although ½ game lead is not much insurance…
Liberty Mutual Insurance 14 - C&S Wholesale Grocers 6

SBW in the banking and spanking business, Lindy’s losing streak soars to 7…
Savings Bank of Walpole 20 - Lindy's Diner 19

O’neal

Jon & George, Just winning & Grinning, J&G rolls on…J & G 9 - E.A.I. Analytical Labs 4

Country Flair puts the MOW in Eskimo…Country Flair Lawncare 9 - Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 5

Paquette Extra Tough Against Dicey’s dogs…
Animal cruelty is certainly no joke but Paquette put a pounding on these poor pups. Paquette played a different kind of fetch with OH K-9, where they decided to bring the big stick to the dog. They instructed the unsuspecting pooches to perch under a pine tree and open up wide, meanwhile they fire up the chainsaw and timberrrrrr. Good boy you caught the big stick! A crushing defeat on many levels. The good news here for Old Heritage is that they have already won a game so the pressure of 0-18 is off. OHK-9 gets a few days off to lick their wounds and prepare for the start of the second half of their season when they play Penuche’s on 6/26. Paquette will get a week off before they put a ball in their mitts and flowers in their hair as they await the experience better known as the Summer of Lutz maaaan, 4-7 innings of peace, love and softball.
Paquette & Sons Firewood 16 @ Old Heritage K-9 1

Underwood

A winning streak dies, alcoholic beverages will also perish for this…
You’d think bringing oil and propane to a party would heat things up. No sir, Chabott Oil cooled off the Party Rockers recent run with relative ease. The wet blankets return just in time to play party poopers yet again. The original fun shunners, Chabott has dealt the Rockers their first and now most recent loss of 2017. Eh, what the hell, Party Rockers Nation says “3 out of 4 ain’t bad, and we’ll drink to that!” By the time they wake up from this loss it’ll be noon on Friday and that means the weekend is basically back. Never a shortage of reasons to party on. The Party Rockers will go shopping for a party improvement loan on 6/28 when they face Savings Bank of Walpole. Chabott Oil is currently ½ game out of 1^st place and they get an extended break as they look to stay hot and burn down the Brick House on 7/5.
Party Rockers 1 @  Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 10

Friday, June 23

O’neal

Wesfield moves to 7-1, has Kung Fu grip on top spot in D5…Wesfield Construction 14 - Brick House Tile 13

You can have your love and lumber, but let’s face it money conquers all…Savings Bank of Walpole 13 - Hamshaw Lumber 7

Country Flair Lawncare declares “MD now stands for Mowed Down”…Country Flair Lawncare 14 - Convenient MD 12

Troy 

King Beaulieu rules Troy…
Troy’s Softball Civil War raged on and Fenton puts another victorious battle under their belts. All of the scoring came in the first inning of this contest. Things started well for Keene Monument as Justin Jarvis led things off with a double and would later score what would be the only Monument run of the game. In the bottom of the first Tim Stone had a leadoff single followed by a walk to Zac Hulett walk and Sam Crotto hit a ball to centerfield that was misplayed and allowed both runners to score what wouild prove to be all the runs Fenton would need. The King would get a little help on the corners in the 6^th as Li “Beast Pig” Richardson and “Patty Big Fly” Minor made nice stops to rob Jarvis and Dave Whitney of hits. Mark Beaulieu would strike out the final batter of the game to maintain his spot high atop the hill in Troy. The Fenton Army looks to defend it’s turf vs Leon’s on 6/26 while Monument will head to Keene as they look to further abuse Cole Castor and Carlisle on 6/26.
Fenton Family Dealerships 2 - Keene Monument 1

Monday, June  26

Durling

Carlisle takes ½ game leap out of lowly basement…Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 7 - Keene Monument 6

Old Man of the Mound and Penuche’s outlast Alpha Dog Dicey and his pack o’ poochies…
While one player suggested I capture the magic of this veteran pitcher’s duel with a catchy caption along the lines of “Battle of the Grey Pubes” or other geriatric degrading themes.  I’ll take the high road here.
Old Heritage jumped all over Penuches in the top of the first while batting around and posting 5 runs. Penuche’s would bounce back with 4 runs of their own in the bottom half of the first. Back and forth we’d go and heading to the sixth inning Penuche’s had an 8-7 lead but Dicey’s dogs piled on 3 runs to take a 2 run lead at 10-8. Of course Penuche’s would answer and tie it up at 10. On to the 8^th we go and Old Heritage would score a run in the top of the 8^th to go up 11-10. Tim Stone started the bottom of the 8^th on 2b and quickly advanced to 3b. The sneaky devil crept down the third base line while the first baseman was slow to get the ball in to the pitcher and Tim ran home to tie the game. Along the way Josh Fairbanks hit a homer for Penuche’s while Old Heritage rookie leftfielder Trevor Gundry had a very solid game both offensively and defensively. 
Penuche's Ale House 12 - Old Heritage K-9 11 (8 inn)

Forfeit, that’s one way to slow the growth of that rapidly rising run differential…
Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 7 - Sting Ray Optics 0 (FFT)

Brown

Rountree gets hit by a ton of BRICKS…Brick House Tile 17 - Rountree Ford 1

Walier mashes Med, ‘nuff said…Walier Chevrolet 16 - Cheshire Medical 8

Underwood

Wesfield wins at the 'Wood, now 8-1 and having fun...Wesfield Construction 8 - Greenwald Realty 7

Troy

Leon’s grabs share of lead over the league’s elite…Leon's Auto Center 6 - Fenton Family Dealerships 3

Tuesday, June 27

Durling

11 is no match when you’re up against an army…Fenton Family Dealerships 11 - GB11 10

Eventually Athens Is gonna getcha…Athens Pizza 17 - E.A.I. Analytical Labs 12

Brown

Poanessa pounds the Pine, finds .500 at 5-5…Poanessa Builders 16 - Pine Heights 7

Fuller Machine missed the memo, it’s the Summer of Lutz maaaan, why you gotta be like that maaan?…
Fuller Machine 6 - Lutz Property Services 2

Underwood

Master Blaster Cole Castor hits a bomb, Pro Nasty makes a mess of Med…Pro Nasty 12  - Cheshire Medical 4 (6 inn)

Gilsum

No baked beans for you! Firelight beer and bean feast ppd until 7/28…
EngraveIt.Biz @ Keene Transmission – PPD/RAIN

Wednesday, June 28

O’neal

Yankee Lanes winning streak up to  5…
These teams are heading in opposite directions lately. Yankee Lanes has won 7 of their last 8 while Nanotech started 4-0 and have lost 5 of 7 since. Ah yes, softball the fickle b*tch she is can make or break your summer. I guess the good news for Nanotech is at least they are old enough to drink alcohol! Yankee Lanes gets a 2 week vacation and returns to take on Benchwarmers with 1^st place on the line. Nanotech gets a chance to get back on track when they face StingRay on 7/10.
Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley 10 - Nanotech 8

Raise your Red Solo Cups, Rockers rout SBW… Party Rockers 22 - Savings Bank of Walpole 8

Walier drives away with 10^th straight win…Walier Chevrolet 20 - Frazier & Son Furniture 8

Underwood

Anglers have reeled in 1^st place…The Anglers 10 - Liberty Mutual Insurance 3

Hanna

Convenient MD dumps their 5^th in a row, Eskimos roll…Eskimo Brothers/Beeze Tees 12 - Convenient MD 6

Thursday, June 29

Durling

Losing streak at  7, GB11 creeping toward 11 GB in the standings…Leon's Auto Center 13 - GB11 4

J&G Just Gobbles up Athens Pizza, Just a Game back of first…J & G 25 - Athens Pizza 10

Even the Humane Society couldn’t rescue these poor pups…Fuller Machine 9 - Old Heritage K-9 6

O’neal

Oh my heavens, StingRAy drops to 0-11…Benchwarmers 16 - Sting Ray Optics 4

Paquette disrupts the Summer of Lutz…Paquette & Sons Firewood 8 - Lutz Property Services 0

Underwood

Old Man of the Mound keeps mowing ‘em down…Pine Heights 15 - C&S Wholesale Grocers 1

Hanna

Country Flair manhandles the mops, that's 7 straight Coll’s has dropped…
Country Flair Lawncare 15 - Coll's Cleaning 7

Friday, June 30 – NO MEN’S GAMES

INDEPENDENCE DAY BREAK 6/30-7/4 

The Division 1 playoff pool is decided with only some seeding to sort out. Leon’s has wrapped up their regular season schedule and sits atop the standings at 13-5. Fenton is 12-5, and can grab a share of the top spot (and force a one game showdown for 1^st place with Leon’s Auto Center) with a win over Keene Monument on Tuesday night in Troy. They hope for a happy ending to the final chapter of the season long Troy Civil War. The Feng Tong Army has taken 2 of 3 from Monument so far in 2017. Never write the roundup when you’re hungry.This is the Fenton Army bitches! They sling Asian CARS and softball victories  not Asian food goddamn it! Anyway, where the hell was I?

GB11 has only pride to play for as they take on Carlisle Tuesday night at Durling. Carlisle creeps back into the playoffs once again. The 2-time defending champs, Carlisle will look for the 3-peat as they try to rally and win another one for their fearless leader, El Presidente, Captain, and Coach Cole Castor who suffered a dislocated knee in Monday night’s D2 Penuche’s loss to Lutz at Brown Field. Here’s hoping for a rapid recovery for the leader of the local softball free world.

Division 2 has 1 spot up for grabs and Lola’s hopes to hold off Lutz as each team has 2 games remaining including a head to head matchup in Troy on Thursday 8/17. The suspense is shaving years off my life I swear. Monday night Penuche’s limps into the Durling dogpound to take on the Mud Dogs with first place on the line. Penuche’s hopes to get back on track following a tough week that saw them dump 2 games in 2 nights to Lutz (making 3 straight losses overall) and losing Coach Cole Castor to a knee injury on Monday. An Old Heritage K-9 forfeit Friday is the highlight as it ends the losing streak for Penuche’s in less than impressive fashion. Penuche’s has however harnessed Cujo in each of the first 2 matchups this season. I’m betting the Monday night tilt is worth a watch. Paquette still has a shot to grab a slice of the first place pie with a win and a little help. No matter what they have locked up a regular season trophy spot. Old Heritage K-9 will look to round up enough pooches to possibly grab their second win of their long painful season when they face Fuller Machine Tuesday night. Fuller is coming in hot after a walk-off win vs Penuche’s. Dicey’s downtrodden dogs did fetch their only win of 2017 waaaaaaaaaay back in May vs Fuller Machine so anything is possible I guess. Please note, the early indication from Vegas suggests you should probably just keep your cash in your pocket and stay home if you are thinking upset here. There’s your motivation fellas! 

Then we have Division 3 where only the top 3 playoff spots are locked up. Let’s just address the sad stories first though. Coll’s Cleaning started 2017 strong at 3-1 and have since packed up the mops and just let house go to hell. C&S gets an early jump on making potential wholesale changes in the offseason. Sayonara, aloha, so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu, and adios hombres.

The positives still in play, The Anglers locked up no less than a share of 1^st place by beating C&S Friday night. That also kills the regular season 1^st place hopes of the Old Man of the Mound and Pine Heights. If Pine Heights wins their final 2 games and Liberty Mutual stumbles vs Poanessa then Pine Heights would steal 2^nd place as they hold the head to head tie breaker 2 games to 1 vs Liberty.  The flipside, Pine Heights loses their last 2 and Convenient MD wins their last 2 then we have a 3^rd place tie and a 1 game playoff as PH and CMD split their 2 H2H matchups in 2017. My heart is pounding, but not as much as my head right now. Now let’s take a peek at the bottom half of the playoff picture. There are 4 asses (teams) battling for 3 open seats. Poanessa faces the some pretty tough odds as they absolutely NEED a win to stay alive. They take on Liberty Mutual in their final game of the season on Tuesday at Durling. If they lose then it’s all over except the seeding.  If they win and Convenient MD wins each of their last 2 games then we have a 3 way tie for 2 remaining openings. A lot of mighty BIG IFs here. Convenient MD controls their own fate as they go head to head with 2 of the other 3 teams still in the hunt for a seat at the big boy table. CMD faces Country Flair Monday night and then the Beeze Tees backed Eskimo Bros. on Thursday night. It’s all about teams needing other teams and people helping people here at the GKMSA. Other scenarios apply, but I think half my body is numb now. Possible stroke in progress.

Oh Division 4, the septic tank for Walier and J&G all year. Keene Transmission is the only team not in the hunt at the moment. Pro Nasty supplied ole Tranny with 2 of their 4 wins so don't blame us!
This mess has been absolutely dominated by Walier Chevrolet who finish at 17-1. Congrats to the champs! It’s been a pizza party at Athens or a trip to Applebees for the winners for 17 straight weeks!  They lost their opener to Athens Pizza and have not looked back since. They have gone on to celebrate each win with a Facebook look at what the winners eat. They have been the Corvette of the field with J&G resembling a Camaro while the rest of the division is a sea of Chevettes crawling along through rush hour traffic. I’ll include a picture of a Chevette below as there’s only one or maaaybe two guys on the Walier roster that are old enough to have a clue what the hell that is. It’s basically the epitome of the 1980’s lower middle class economy car. Simply put, no team wants to be compared to it in this analogy.

Now if Cheshire Medical beats Frazier & Son on Monday night at Brown the 6 playoff teams are determined and we wait to see how the seeding shapes up. If Cheshire Med can’t seal the deal then Athens and Frazier are still alive. Athens will head to Gilsum Tuesday night with a lot to play for in their regular season finale vs Keene Transmission. Bundy says “grab your beans and banjos boys, there’s softball gold in them hills! We’re heading to Gilsum fellers!” That’s not actually a direct quote but it sounds dramatic and fun so let it be. The standings in this division after 1^st and 2^nd place just make my head hurt so bad. We could potentially have 4 teams finish 8-10 here. Time to look at Division 5 before I begin to drool and just face plant on my keyboard.

The Chevette

Division 5 has 4 teams still alive for the last available spot! Inconceivable! All of them face some stiff competition this week. Rountree Ford looked dead a month ago and have since rattled off FIVE straight wins to climb back into the race. However, Rountree will  face 2 of the toughest teams D5 has to offer in Wesfield (Monday) and Chabott Oil(Thursday). Weekly Roundup darlings, Party Rockers face Savings Bank of Walpole on Tuesday while Hamshaw Lumber gets Greenwald on Monday. Lindy’s Diner can only sit around and await their fate. A win by Party Rockers or Rountree automatically crush the playoff hopes of Hamshaw Lumber as well as those of Marty and his Lindy’s waitstaff. Wednesday night Wesfield goes toe to toe with Brick House Tile in a matchup that could throw 1^st place up for grabs. My DVR will certainly be set to capture that action! Chabott oil will be keeping an eye on that matchup in the hopes that Brick House can come through and open the door for them to snatch the top spot with a win over Rountree on Thursday night.

On a serious note, we here on the GKMSA  board hope that Chabott Oil pitcher Craig Gehly has a speedy and full  recovery after a very scary injury when a line drive hit him in the head on Monday night at Brown Field. A harsh reminder of how quickly life can potentially change even while doing something fun that we all love. 

OK, let’s talk about Division 6. The seeds are are all set 1-4. Congrats to the regular season champion Benchwarmers.  Yankee Lanes has the 2 spot and Nanotech has settled into 3^rd place after a fast and furious 4-0 start. All in all this final week is about as dramatic as most complaint night meetings for Division 6 teams. Bottom line, all 4 teams make the playoffs as long as nobody forfeits 3 or more times. The 0-17 StingRay Optics group is the only team at risk here as they carry 2 forfeits into their 2017 finale vs Nanotech Wednesday night at Underwood. Whether or not they finish with their first win of 2017 or they lose number 18, their winless regular season and -216 run differential disappears as they get a fresh start once the playoffs begin. Could there be a feel good story in the making? Stingarella has played possum all year and now has plans of crashing the D6 ball? The warning has been issued. Smells like a recipe for GKMSA’s version of the Miracle On Ice. Someone get Hollywood on the horn and let the casting begin! I think we have something brewing here…

Here we are, we have reached the 17^th and final week of the 2017 regular season. It’s been a rainy ride at times but we made it. I apologize for the long roundup drought, but unfortunately life gets busy sometimes as we all know. I’ve missed doing it and have enjoyed writing these ridiculous blurbs when I can.  I truly appreciate the feedback I’ve received from those of you who do check in. Thanks to Walier Chevrolet, Old Heritage K-9, Mud Dogs, Party Rockers, Eskimo Bros., Anglers, EngraveIt.BIZ (emphasis on .BIZ) among others for being good sports and carrying team names that just help these things pretty much write themselves some days. I’m sure Matt Black has heard enough of my nonsense about the Party Rocker movement and is exploring new (and not so catchy) team names for 2018. Can’t forget Marty here. He’s certainly taken his Roundup lumps too. Hopefully no teams or players were harmed in the making of these rants.

I also HAVE to thank the GKMSA board members, especially President, and teammate Cole Castor for taking a lot of abuse in the early weeks of the Roundup. I stole some cheap laughs at his expense and he took it all like a champ and has done a fantastic job in general this year.  I’ve put Kyle Rider on a pedestal of sorts as the “Old Man of the Mound”  here while also digging at the fact that he is actually older than the game itself. Gordie has become a fictitious karate dojo owner, and “wise”(wink wink) sensei for his young softball hopefuls, while Joe has escaped the Roundup(for now) by simply not playing. The fact is I can’t pick on umpires until after the playoffs are over. Anyway, enough of that sap. Let’s try to make up for lost time.  

It’s the final playoff push, and amazingly there are only 5 total teams eliminated across 6 divisions before we begin the final week. Let’s have a moment of silence to mourn some seasons taken far too soon. Fare thee well GB 11, Old Heritage K-9, Coll’s Cleaning, C&S Wholesale Grocers, and Keene Transmission. Fear not, others will meet the same fate this coming week and the week that follows. Misery loves company so open your arms and your hearts for those preparing to punch their tickets to join you in Mudville. As we all know, all good things must come to an end, and luckily so do the not so good things as well. Hopefully you aren’t too discouraged  by this outcome and we hope to see you all return in 2018.

For the most part the divisions have been pretty competitive, and balanced. There is a lot to cover here so I’ll break it down by division so hopefully this isn’t as tedious as trying to read Moby Dick on your Smartphones. Now let’s look at some teams still hanging by a thread and some others who already have (or will have) a Kung Fu grip on some regular season hardware…

Wednesday, July 6

O’neal

C&S sneaks past Poanessa…C&S Wholesale Grocers 9 - Poanessa Builders 8

Coach Cole’s clippers look sharp as the Nuche neuters Cujo, climbs into virtual tie atop D2…
Once again Penuche’s pulls out a narrow victory over D2’s top dogs. This was Calvin Edson’s final game of 2017 as he heads off to serve in the military. We thank you in advance for your service and look forward to your safe return.
Penuche's Ale House 7 - Mud Dogs 5

Underwood

Brick House stays hotter than a propane flame…
Brick House Tile 12 @ Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 10

Hanna

Paquette takes 4^th straight, suddenly stalking the top…
Paquette & Sons Firewood 4 @ Fuller Machine 2

Gilsum

Keene Transmission blows a gasket, Walier wins 11^th straight, the world wonders where they eat…
Walier Chevrolet 7 @ Keene Transmission 0 (FFT due to ejection)

Thursday, July 7

Durling

Lindy’s adds extra special scoring sauce to new recipe for success…
Chef Martin Sheldon and his Lindy’s Diner have been cooking up losses for the last 7 games but they finally pulled a piping hot win out of the oven.
Lindy's Diner 30 @ Hamshaw Lumber 19

Don Patch puts on pizza party at the park…Lola's Pizzeria 4 @ Old Heritage K-9 2

Coach Quimby’s .Biz kids Explode And Implode, 8 run lead Evaporates And Induces losing…
EngraveIt.Biz says “this lead just doesn’t feel right, I’d like to ExchangeIt.Biz” If you enjoy quality defense then this game wasn’t for you. Let’s focus on a couple of offensive bright spots, Johnny Hope launched a bomb for EAI and Tyler Johnson drilled one deep into the night for EngraveIt.Biz. Quimby Miyagi and the .Biz kids will seek revenge as they attempt to keep the .Bizcuit in their .baskets when they get a rematch with E.A.I. on 7/13. E.A.I. heads to Gilsum on 7/11 to take on Keene Transmission before their much anticipated rematch.
E.A.I. Analytical Labs 16 - EngraveIt.Biz 15

O’neal

Captain Carlisle, Cole Castor has no answers for the Fenton Army…
Fenton charged out to an early lead and managed to hold off a late Carlisle surge while riding the arm of Mark “The Boss” Beaulieu. Dillon mercier scored twice on Rob Skrocki hits. “The Boss” sealed the victory when he caught Ryan Cormier blindly wandering confused down the 3B line like an old man that just escaped the old folks home.
Fenton Family Dealerships 7 @ Carlisle Wide Plank Floors 5

Pro Nasty completes ’17 sweep of the sofas…
Is it Frazier & Son or Earl Wilbur and sons? Both I suppose. I’m just guessing here, but the Wilbur family crest probably has a wheel and a lightning bolt on it? The speedy Wilbur trio certainly gave Pro Nasty a run for their money in this one. Deadline add Nick Twombly provided some nice stops at 3B and added some serious pop in the middle of the Frazier lineup as well. Pro Nasty’s offense got a boost from the return of proud new papa Chris Merkle, and Russ Chretien was an on-base machine. Chad Corbeil drew a walk and also went 3-4 with 2 triples, a feat which occurs about as frequently as the passing of Halley’s Comet or a dinner date with Bill Cosby that doesn’t end with a blackout, and groggy cab ride home. Nasty Nate Johnson brought a little leather to the Pro Nasty party and made a NASTY sliding catch in RF to preserve the Pro Nasty lead late in the game. These 2 teams are now deadlocked at 6-6 for third place in D4. Next up for Pro Nasty is a meeting with first place Walier on 7/10 while coach Marty and Frazier & Son also have a tough matchup ahead vs second place J&G on 7/13.
Pro Nasty 11 - Frazier & Son Furniture 10

Pine Heights is only a half game back of the bass masters…
Pine Heights 10 - Liberty Mutual Insurance 5

Underwood

Rountree Ford free fall continues…Greenwald Realty 10 - Rountree Ford 5

Hanna

J&G Just Gets enough to top the Docs…J & G 3 - Cheshire Medical 2

Playoff roundup

Division 1
The Fenton Army wore out the troops fiercely fighting to win the regular season battle, but sadly they have lost the war. Fenton put up quite a fight against Carlisle Wednesday night but then came another showdown (and final chapter of the 2017 Troy Civil War) with hometown rival Keene Monument on Saturday. King Beaulieu and his court went into peasant-mode in the playoffs and they make an early exit. It’s never easy carrying that big ole regular season crown into the playoffs. Leon’s is sitting pretty in the finals as they wait to face the winner of the Keene Monument vs Carlisle game on Sunday. The winner of that game will have to beat Leon’s twice Wednesday to take home the big boy trophy.

Division 2
Defending champ Paquette needed extra innings to dispose of Penuche’s Thursday night. Penuche’s went on to lose to Lola’s Pizzeria Saturday and became the first D2 team to punch their ticket to early offseason status. The Green Machine looked rusty, dumpy, clunky and old down the stretch dumping 6 of their last 7. Truth be told the only win during that monumental slide came in the form of  a forfeit gift from Old Heritage K-9.  UUUUGGGHHHHH!

Paquette faces off against  upstart Fuller Machine today for a chance to take the fast track to the finals on Tuesday night. Fuller Machine crushed Lola’s Thursday and then tamed regular season top dog Cujo on Saturday to secure their date with the defending D2 champs Sunday morning. The loser of that game will have to battle the winner of Lola’s vs Mud Dogs at 4:30PM Sunday to make it to the finals.

Division 3
This has been an interesting ride with walk-offs and blowouts. Convenient MD and Beeze Tees become the first 2 teams to bow out. The final four features a rare #1 vs #2 matchup when Liberty Mutual takes on Anglers at 1:30 on Sunday at Durling. The winner of that game sits back and waits for an opponent to come to them on Tuesday. Then we have  #3 Pine Heights and the Old Man of the Mound who face the very  scrappy #5 seed Country Flair on O’Neal. The loser is eliminated and the winner will take on the loser of the #1 vs #2 tilt. Intense man…

Division 4
Predictability is the theme here. The 1,2,3 and 4 seeds have all advanced. Pro Nasty showed incredible consistency in the playoffs allowing 15 runs in the first inning of both of their “games” if you want to refer to them as such. I prefer to call ‘em like I see ‘em and keep it honest when I say embarrassments. Pro Nasty should rename the team Pro Zac cause that was just depressing. So as expected Pro Nasty and Cheshire Med poop their pants and get sent home from camp early. On to Sunday for those that showed up so far…#1 Walier takes on #2 J&G at 12:00 Sunday while #3 EngraveIt.Biz gets to take on #4 E.A.I. The championship game will be played on Monday night at 6:30PM on Durling.

Division 5
#1 Wesfield has fallen early! 2 games and 2 losses. Didn’t see that coming. So our final four includes the winner’s bracket final between #4 Greenwald vs #2 Chabott Oil. Meanwhile #3 Brick House Tile plays the little engine that could in #6 Rountree Ford. The finals will be Wednesday night at 6:30PM on O’Neal. Stay tuned…

Division 6
What can I say that I haven’t already said about all that is Division 6? Anti-climatic and simply ho hum where there is little to gripe about. Did we see this coming? Probably. Turns out StingRay wasn’t playing possum and Hollywood can be put on hold. The “Miracle” theory died in fitting fashion as StingRay forfeits out of the playoffs after a brutal 25-6 beatdown in the opening round. So we have the Benchwarmers doing what they do best, just sitting around waiting to play as any benchwarmer should. Yankee Lanes plays Nanotech Sunday at 6:00PM for the right to try and take down those second stringers at 6:30PM on Monday at O’Neal.

Good luck to all teams still alive!

Championship Roundup

Monday, August 28

Division 4
Walier puts away E.A.I. to take Division 4 Crown
E.A.I. and Khial Melendy came to play and kept it very respectable as the game was tied at 1-1 after 4 innings. Then came the part we were all waiting for, the fairytale start takes a nightmarish turn. A couple of misplayed balls by E.A.I. and some quality GM horsepower helps the Bedards and their Walier Chevrolet winning machine rally to blow it wide open and claim the title in the 6^th inning. Khial Melendy may not have a title but he still has his health,  a second place trophy and his facial hair. 

Walier lost one game all season! Cheshire Med beat them in the season opener and who would’ve guessed that nobody else would do it again. They are the only team in 2017 to capture both the regular season and playoff crowns for their division. Bravo gentlemen.
Walier Chevrolet 10 – E.A.I. 2

Division 6
Yankee Lanes Bowling Alley abuses the Benchwarmers twice to take Division 6
Unconfirmed reports indicate that the Benchwarmers displayed incredible sportsmanship by lending Yankee Lanes some bats as their arsenal was depleted. While I can certainly appreciate this gesture, I think we can all agree that if mom is about to put a wooden spoon to your rear end you don’t offer her a baseball bat to use instead. Just my 2 cents. Nice guys finish last as they say, or in this case Division 6 runner-up. Y.L.B.A. Coach  Dan Birmingham was still barking orders as his kids were carrying a double-digit lead with 2 outs in the final inning of the suddenly necessary “if necessary” game. I can’t be sure but I thought I heard Dan order one of his outfielders to run laps during the team pic for throwing behind a Benchwarmers’ base runner in the final frame.  Disgrace your coach and pay the price son. Get on your face and give him 50, then go to bed without dinner and by the way, no championship shirt for you kid! Championship coaches never stop coaching. Congratulations to both teams for a great 2017 season! 

Game 1: Yankee Lanes 15 – Benchwarmers 2
Game 2: Yankee Lanes 24 – Benchwarmers 13

Tuesday, August 29

Division 3
Anglers reel in a 2017 title
No need for big fish tales here as there was little need to exaggerate the size of this cast and catch. The old bass masters trolled the O’Neal base paths, netted 12 runs and pulled back up to the dock early to collect their real big trophy. Peter Forcier fresh off his recent marriage, held it down on the mound for the Anglers. The only mistake the newlywed really made was throwing anything within 5 feet of the plate with Arric Mathers at bat. Mr. Mathers absolutely annihilated an offering from the honeymooner in the 5^th for a 3 run blast to temporarily avoid the 8 run mercy rule and push the game to the bottom half of the inning. The ball Arric hit was last tracked by NASA as it passed Mars. The Anglers didn’t let Liberty Mutual enjoy the Mathers magic for long as they got all the runs back in the bottom of the inning and packed up their tackle for the season. Congratulations to the Shelleys and their band of fishing/softball enthusiasts! I’m sure the Anglers will grab their rods and come back swinging again in 2018.
Anglers 12 –Liberty Mutual Insurance 4

Division 2
Fuller Machine rallies late to polish off Paquette
Dan Rehmer looked like a monster on the mound and one by one Paquette batters walked up and the Rehmer-nator  mowed them down. Shawn Chase pitched well for the defending champs but a rare string of defensive goofs by Paquette late in the game allowed Fuller Machine to snag a couple runs and  pull away. The Rehmer-nator returned to the mound for the 7^th and terminated  3 batters and says “hasta la vista Paquette” and hello 1^st place trophy. If you asked Dan about plans for 2018 you know there could only be one answer from the Rehmer-nator, “I’ll be back.” This game may not have any impact on the fate of the human race but it was relatively entertaining as far as softball goes.
Fuller Machine 5 – Paquette & Sons Firewood 3

Wednesday, August 30

Division 5
Chabott Oil cruises to D5 title
Chabott Pitcher Craig Gehly shined on the mound in the championship game just a few weeks after taking a line drive to the head that one would have assumed ends a season. Congratulations to Craig and we are glad to see you have bounced back so quickly. Craig, sporting a Hannibal-like protective mask decided to have an old friend for dinner, and absolutely ate Brick House Tile alive. Mr. Gehly’s fuel crew burned up the  base paths and insured that the “if necessary” would NOT be necessary. Congratulations to both teams for a very successful 2017!
Chabott Oil/Ciardelli Propane 12 – Brick House Tile 4

Division 1
Leon’s Outlasts Keene Monument to Claim D1 Crown
Monument roughed up Leon’s 16-5 in game one to force the “if necessary” game but it was all Leon’s when it mattered most. Ivon Clough hit a 3-run blast which ultimately proved to be all Leon’s would really need but they decided to add some garnish anyway. Tom Cashman was rock solid on the mound as he mowed down the town of Troy’s last title hope. Billy Smith could be heard taunting Leon about his age letting him know the old folks back at the home want him to “grab some pudding on your way back, they’re all out.” Well Leon decided to grab them a 1^st place trophy too while he was out and about. Cashman would grab the final out himself as he got young Adam Egan to chop one back to him on the mound and he tossed it on to Chris Davis at 1B to crush any comeback hopes for Keene Meattey-ment. See the highlight video on main page...

A burning question I’ve had on my mind for KEENE Monument all year, do you guys realize that you have Keene in your team name yet you host “home” games in Troy? Baffling. Anyway, for the third consecutive season the confused Monument squad settles for silver. Something tells me they will come back better than ever in 2018. I’m thinking of taking that little hunch of mine straight to Vegas.

After an impressive and inspiring start to 2017 the town of Troy should just hand over the fleet of duck boats to all the happy Keene teams parading around with gold hardware in hand. Actually, Fenton did grab regular season gold but that feels like a lifetime ago now.

All jokes aside, congratulations to both teams  for a great 2017 season!

Game 1: Keene Monument 16 – Leon’s Auto Center 5
Game 2: Leon’s Auto Center 8 – Keene Monument 2

Thank you to all the sponsors, players, coaches, umpires, fans/supporters, Keene Parks & Rec, and others that made 2017 a great season!

Don't forget to vote! Election details are shown on the main page and the Annual Fall Meeting will be Thursday, September 14 6:00PM at the Keene Rec.