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BOYS SUMMER REC BASKETBALL REGISTRATIONS DUE MAY 27, 2013!
May 7, 2013
Registration for the 2013 Summer Recreation Basketball season is open through May 27, 2013. Boys entering the 6th, 7th and 8th grades in the Fall of 2013 are eligible to join the program. The league will play its games at the Maple Place Middle School in Oceanport. The league is open to all age-appropriate residents of Oceanport, West Long Branch, Monmouth Beach and Sea Bright. Registration forms and registration checks in the amount of $75.00 (payable to "Summer Rec Basketball") should be mailed to: Thomas Galvin, 63 Wardell Circle, Oceanport, NJ 07757. Players will receive a uniform t-shirt to keep and games will take place once a week. There are no practices. Teams will play an 8 game schedule. Due to (a) the earlier start of football practices and (b) swim team conflicts, we will be playing a condensed schedule. The games will be played on Wednesdays June 5th, June 12th, June 19th, June 26th, July 3rd and July 10th and Fridays June 14th, June 21st and June 28th. Games will be played at 6:00 p.m., 7:00 p.m. and 8 p.m. at Maple Place School. Each player is guaranteed to play 18 minutes (1/2 regulation time) in each game. Questions regarding the 2013 Boy's Summer Recreation Basketball Program should be directed to Thomas Galvin at 732-229-7061, or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Once the season starts, all communication will be through e-mail or through the Oceanport Basketball Association's website. REGISTRATIONS ARE ON A FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED BASIS. WE ARE LOOKING TO FIELD SIX TEAMS OF NINE PLAYERS EACH.ONLY THE FIRST 54 REGISTRATIONS RECEIVED ARE GUARANTEED A ROSTER SPOT! IF WE RECEIVE 55 OR MORE REGISTRATIONS, WE WILL ADD A TEAM WHEN WE REACH 63 REGISTRATIONS AND ADD ANOTHER TEAM WHEN WE REACH 72 REGISTRATIONS. Click HERE for 2013 registration form.
COACH'S CORNER WITH COACH MATT "PROFESSOR HARDWOOD" PROTO
Shore Regional High School Junior Matt Proto, known throughout the state of New Jersey as the best football player in his house, is the Head Coach of the OKC Thunder in this year's Spring Rec High School Basketball League. Proto, who combined with Daniel Pillari on the SRHS freshman basketball team to form the tandem known as "Shake & Bake (Matt was the "&"), has given up the game of basketball, but his classmates were eager for him to impart to them his considerable knowledge of how the game should be played. Senior Connor Rogers, the leading scorer in this year's league, credits Proto with helping him to step up his game. "The fact that Matt ties his own tie really sets him apart from the rest of the coaches," said an obviously impressed Rogers. "I mean, WOW, the guy ties his own tie! I didn't think he could even tie his own shoes and then he shows up in double breasted suit and a tie that doesn't clip on? Amazing! He's really got it going on. How can you not want to play better for a guy like that?" Proto, who hurt is shoulder in a bizarre Irish Clog Dancing accident and is currently rehabbing by taking ballet and competing in the heavyweight division of the National Synchronized Swimming League with comedian Louie Anderson, played down his importance to the team's success, "It's not about me, it is about the team. Of course, if you want me to be really honest, the team is nothing without me," offered Proto, "But keep that between me and you." Erik Graham, who leads OKC in passing the ball to Connor Rogers, is certain that Proto's tactical brilliance will be the difference maker during the playoffs. "Look," said Graham, "I don't know if Coach Proto knows his butt from his elbow about basketball, but the guy is HUGE and I can't see anybody disobeying him. I've never seen anybody with a double breasted suit without sleeves, but Coach Proto insists that tailors can't make sleeves big enough to cover his massive arms." When asked about his propensity for removing the sleeves from his clothing, Proto was modest to a fault, stating, "After all these years of body sculpting, I think it would be a sin if I deprived anyone the opportunity to see something as beautiful as my arms." In this week's COACH'S CORDER (which can be viewed on the Oceanport Basketball Association's Facebook page) you can see video of Coach Proto as he attempts to cajole his team into re-taking the lead against player-coach Mike Blaney's 84 Celtics squad. We've got some in-game photos below, but if you want to see video and a whole lot more action photos, go to the OBA Facebook page.
JESSIE FLAHERTY HOPS ON ONE LEG WHILE DRIBBLING BY BEN HESS
THE 84 CELTICS AND THEIR INSPIRATIONAL LEADER, NICK BLANEY
COACH ROB PROTO, MINI-PROTO AND THE OKC THUNDER SQUAD
THE 95 ROCKETS (HESS AND PATELLA'S SLEEVES BURST THE FIRST TIME THEY FLEXED)
THE KNICKS AND JOHN STOCKTON'S SHORTS (worn by Anthony D'Averso far right)
BEN "CHECK OUT THESE MASSIVE BICEPS" HESS DRIVES TO THE HOOP WHILE YAWNING
KEVIN MAZZELLAVATES OVER BEN HESS
DALE O'HALLORAN JUST BEFORE HE POSTERIZED BEN HESS AND HIS BICEPS
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
THE BEST DRESSED MAN IN SPORT: PLAYER-COACH J.D. WATTS
2013 ROOKIE LEAGUES GAMES PLAYED IN FRONT OF PACKED HOUSE!
April 5, 2013
The 2012-2013 Rec Basketball season concluded on Sunday, March 24th with two incredibly exciting, well-played, competitive Rookie League games. Both games were played in front of a gym full of adoring fans and it was hard to tell who was having a better time, the parents/grandparents or the players. The opening game pitted Rick & Francesca Weber's nationally ranked Notre Dame squad against Matt Walter's vaunted Syracuse team. Notre dame jumped out to a 9-1 first half lead with a well-balanced scoring attack. Lucy Weber (3 points) Nick DiNapoli (2 points), Maggie Mcrae (2 points) and Aidan Murphy (2 points) all scored in the first half as Notre Dame worked the ball inside and outside like the Harlem Globetrotters, all the while being exhorted by Jim Murphy from the stands. Jim, it turns out, had Notre Dame and was giving five points. Angie Getz, Megan Smith, Ava Witschel and Nick Cosimano rebounded like demons and harassed Syracuse relentlessly on defense. Summer Gardener scored the lone point for Syracuse in the first half. Matt Walter was able to re-group his troops and Syracuse came out on fire in the second half. Ben Levy (5 points), Alex George (2 points) and Lucas Rosa (1) dominated on defense and Notre Dame's turnovers led to a series of Syracuse baskets. Leela Walter, Colin Waeschle, Victoria Dwyer and Molly McHeffey all played incredible defense in the second half and their quick transition fast breaks helped get George, Levy and Rosa open. Alas, their furious rally fell just short due to the second half heroics of Notre Dame's Nick DiNapoli (2 points) and Frankie Salamone (1 point), and Notre Dame prevailed 12-9. Everybody except Jim Murphy was pleased with the outcome.
ALEX GEORGE SHOOTS A JUMPER
A NERVOUS PARENT!
A HAPPY PARENT!
COACH WALTER TELLS AN INTERESTING STORY
A ROWDY CROWD ENJOYS THE GAME
TOM GALVIN TEACHES THE KIDS HOW TO PROPERLY SIGNAL FOR A RIGHT TURN
In the second game of the day, Dominick Lanzano's North Carolina team was up againt Tom Degnan's Duke squad in what many people felt was going to be the game of the century, or at least the afternoon. Duke, however, learned it was going to have to play the game with only five players due to illnesses and a scheduling conflict and it seemed as if North Carolina was all set up for a victory. Not surprisingly, Duke went right after North Carolina as the game opened and jumped out to a quick 4-0 lead on two baskets by Donovan Hughes. As soon as Duke went ahead, Degnan unleashed his famous Anaconda Defense (play hard on defense and rest on offense) in an effort to slow down the high octane offense of Coach Lanzano's North Carolina crew. Notwithstanding Duke's commitment to defense, it was their offense that carried them in the second quarter. Wallker Hunter (2 points), Donovan Hughes (2 points) and Ryan Graci (4 points) went berserk in the second quarter hitting shots from all over. Rylee Drahos scored North Carolina's only basket in the first half and North Carolina went into halftime trailing 12-2. Coach Lanzano made several adjustments during halftime and when the third quarter opened up it was a whole diffenet ballgame. Using a flex offense, Lanzano was able to free up Brett "The Microwave" Sweeney for FOUR consecutive mid-range jumpers and the crowd was roaring. Sweeney, who is called The Microwave because he can get hot so quickly, was coming around picks set by Dante DeJulio, Bella Decrosta, Sophia Lanzano, Bella Ilvento, Shelby Macrae, Blake Himich and Charlie Deutsch like he was a veteran of 15 years in the NBA. After Sweeney's 4th basket, the score was 12-10 and Duke was forced to call a time out to quiet the crowd. Duke came out of the time out in a completely different defense, the Boa Constrictor, and North Carolina was completely baffled. Duke's Donovan Hughes (1 basket and two foul shots), Ryan Graci (2 points) and Matt Katzenberger (2 points) used the Boa Constrictor defense to get out in transition and the lead was quickly 20-10, although Charlie Deusch's long range jumper brought the North Carolina fans to their feet one last time. Duke's Jimmy Treschock, although held scoreless by North Carolina's solid interior defense, was named American Red Cross Player of the Game for playing the last two minutes of the game with six pounds of gauze shoved up each of his nostrils after he sustained a bloody nose.
JIMMY TRESHOCK RECEIVES MEDICAL ASSISTANCE
AN OBVIOUSLY UPSET TRESHOCK TAKES THE COURT
DONOVAN HUGHES AT THE LINE
DONOVAN HUGHES MAKES HIS FOUL SHOT
BRETT "THE MICROWAVE" SWEENEY
RYLEE DRAHOS ON THE FAST BREAK
SHORE AREA HIGH SCHOOL BOYS' SPRING REC BASKETBALL REGISTRATIONS NOW DUE MARCH 29, 2013!
March 6, 2013
Registration submissions for The Oceanport Basketball Association's 2013 Shore Area High School Boys' Recreation Basketball Season are due March 29, 2013. THIRTY THREE PLAYERS HAVE SIGNED UP ALREADY. This league is open to all high school age boys residing in Monmouth Beach, West Long Branch, Oceanport and Sea Bright and those students from out of district who attend Shore Regional High School. There are no practices. An 8 game schedule beginning on April 7th and ending the last week of May will be played on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at Shore Regional High School. You can download a registration form by clicking here. More details about the league are set forth on the registration form. (Pictured below are last year's Shore Area High School Boys' Rec League Summer Champions, "The Justin Bieber Experience".)
KNIGHTS TEAMS VICTORIOUS IN 3 OUT OF 5 FIRST ROUND MID-MONMOUTH PLAYOFF GAMES
March 2, 2013
The Oceanport Knights had a rather successful first round of the 2013 Mid-Monmouth playoffs, with 3 teams advancing into the second round.
Jim Reid's #1 seeded U-10 Boys squad opened up the day with a 41-12 drubbing of an overmatched #8 Point Boro team. The U-10 Boys will have a much tougher road to hoe against a vastly improved #4 Spring Lake/Sea Girt squad in the second round on Sunday afternoon.
Bill Wollman's U-10 Girls played in the second game of the day and prevailed 19-16 in overtime over Rumson in their first round tilt. The U-10 Girls face #3 Tinton Falls on Sunday in the second round.
Mike Murphy's #6 seed U-9 Boys dropped an overtime heartbreaker, 20-17, to #3 Spring Lake/Sea Girt in a 1:00 pm game,
Kevin Condon's #5 seed U-8 Boys prevailed 22-20 over #4 seed Ocean Township and moved onto the second round where they will face #1 seed Spring Lake/Sea Girt.
Finally, Diane Schmelz's #5 seed U-9 Girls dropped a close 15-10 defensive strugle to #4 seed Fair Haven in their opening round game.
KNIGHTS U-9 GIRLS DEFEAT MANASQUAN 21-18 IN SEASON FINALE; CLINCH #5 SEED IN PLAYOFFS!
February 28, 2013
Diane Schmelz's U-9 Knights Girls team exploded for 21 points in their season finale against Manasquan at Manasquan and came away with a hard fought, impressive victory. Riding Cassie DeSantis' hot hand (11 points) and the stifling defense of Grace McMullin, the Knights secured the 5th seed in the Mid-Monmouth playoffs with the win. DeSantis, who has been a force all season long for the Knights, was philosophical about the victory, "I don't think that it matters whether we are the 5th seed, the 1st seed or the 50th seed, because we're a team. We've got each other's backs and we wear the same uniform. Of course, I'm not going to lie, it was really nice to run off the court yelling 'WE'RE #5! WE'RE #5', but in the end it really doesn't matter much because, as my dad, Al DeSantis, always says, no matter what, we've still got our good looks and nothing is more important than good looks. That's what he always says. Every day. All the time." The U-9 Knights Girls play against the #4 seed, Fair Haven, at 4:00 pm this Saturday at Rebounds in the first round of the Mid-Monmouth playoffs. Go to the game and maybe you'll get to sit next to or near Al DeSantis. That's something you could tell your grandkids about. Pictured below are Megan Gammon, Gracie McMullin, Grace Decker, Hailee Jaronko, Brooke Schmelz and Cassie Desantis. Missing from the picture are Molly Welsh and Maeve Murphy.
KNIGHTS U-9 BOYS FINISH AT 5-5; FACE SPRING LAKE/SEA GIRT IN PLAYOFFS ON SATURDAY
February 27, 2013
Mike Murphy's Knights U-9 Boys squad finished the regular season with a 36-20 loss to Fair Haven, but ended up with a strong 5-5 record while locking up the 6th seed in this weekend's Mid-Monmouth playoffs at Rebounds. The U-9 Boys will be butting heads at 1:00 p.m. with a 7-3 Spring Lake/Sea Girt squad that beat them back on January 18th by a score of 24-20. The U-9 Boys are known for their frenetic style of play and, as the score from their previous game indicates, Spring Lake/Sea Girt better pack a lunch because Murph's boys don't have any quit in them. The picture of the U-9 team below is from the cover of their new jazz fusion music CD "Basketball Nation: Double Overtime", which will be out in stores shortly.
KNIGHTS U-10 BOYS FINISH REGULAR SEASON UNBEATEN
February 26, 2013
Jim Reid's U-10 Boys Knights team finished its season with a 45-28 victory over Fair Haven, leaving them with a perfect 10-0 record and a Mid-Monmouth League Eastern Division championship. With the win, the U-10 Boys locked up the #1 seed in the playoffs and they will open up against the #8 seed, Point Boro, at 8:30 am this Saturday at Rebounds. As noted by Ryan 'Big Country" Paglia, the 8:30 am start time might be problematic for the Knights. "We are a team that values its sleep," Paglia pronounced, "and an 8:30 am game time means that we might not get our 10 hours of sleep. Sleep is the most important component of staying young and feeling young --- the other two being a regular regimen of exfoliation and moisturization ---- and our team's commitment to these precepts has obviously worked. Our team is devoid of anybody with age spots, gray hair, wrinkles or crow's feet and that's a testament to the lifestyle changes that Coach Reid has impressed upon us. Seriously, we are all 10 years old, but most people think we're only 8 or 9 years old because we have such healthy, glowing skin." This year's U-10 Knights are the first Knights team to go undefeated in the regular season since Joe Pillari's Senior Boys team in the 2009-2010 season. Pillari's squad was also undefeated the previous year in the Intermediate Division.
KNIGHTS U-10 GIRLS CAPTURE #2 SEED ON SAVANNAH NOTTE'S BIRTHDAY!
February 25, 2013
Bill Wollman's U-10 Knights Girls team turned its game against Shrewsbury into an overtime 20-18 birthday present for shooting guard Savannah Notte. The U-10 Girls, who finished the season at 9-1, wrapped up the victory on Sydney Sears' overtime hoop, the only points scored in the three minute overtime period. Tenacious defense was the name of the game after Sears scored, and this is a team that knows how to play defense. Grace Treshock, who scored 10% of her teams' points, was thrilled with how the team played, "The U-10 Boys might be undefeated, but we are a lot better looking than they are. We really clamped down on defense in the overtime period and we knew that Sydney's basket would be all that we needed. And, most importantly, we looked fabulous the whole entire game." Chloe Wollman led the team with 8 points, Caitlin "Up Again, In Again" Donegan dropped in 6 points and Notte rounded out the scoring with 2 points for the U-10 Girls, who finished second in the East to 10-0 Ocean Township. The U-10 Girls will open up the playoffs on Saturday, March 2, at 11:30 a.m. at Rebounds against a still to be determined #7 seed.
OCEANPORT KNIGHTS WRAPPING UP REGULAR SEASON AND PREPARING FOR PLAYOFFS
February 20, 2013
The Oceanport Knights travel basketball program is having an incredibly successful winter season. Jim Reid's U-10 Boys squad is sitting atop the Eastern Division with a perfect 8-0 record and is looking to lock up the regular season title and a #1 seed in the playoffs with a win over a tough Fair Haven team (5-2 on the season) on February 24th at Maple Place (2:45pm start time). Bill Wollman's U-10 Girls squad is also faring very well, currently occupying 2nd place with a 7-1 record. They scored a season high 34 points in their last game against Tinton Falls and they close out their season with games against 2 and 5 Brielle (2/23/13 at 2:15 @ Brielle) and 5 and 2 Shrewsbury (2/24/13 at 1:00pm @ Maple Place). One win in either of those games would assure the U-10 Girls of at least a #2 seed in the playoffs. Kevin Condon and Kirk Ruoff have guided the U-8 Boys team to a 4-4 record, good enough to put them in a tie for 4th place in the Eastern Division. The U-8 Boys close out their regular season with games against Brielle (2-5) at Maple Place (2/24/13 at 4:00 pm) and Manasquan (4-3) at Manasquan (2/27/13 at 7:15 pm). A win at Manasquan would probably lock up the #4 seed for the U-8 Boys. Mike Muphy's exciting, unpredictable U-9 Boys team is sitting pretty in 6th place with a deceptive 5-4 record. The U-9 Boys close out their season on 2/24/13 at 3:00 pm at Fair Haven. A win over Fair Haven, currently 5-3, would give the U-9 Boys the #5 seed in the playoffs. Last, but certainly not least, everybody's favorite team, Diane Schmelz's scrappy U-9 Girls squad, has acquitted itself very well notwithstanding its 2-6 record. The U-9 Girls are currently tied for 7th place with Manasquan. The U-9 Girls close out their season with a home game against Brielle (3-4) on 2/24/13 at 1:00 pm and an away game against Manasquan (2-6) on 2/27/13 at 6:00 pm. Wins against both those teams could possibly vault the U-9 Girls to a #4 seed in the playoffs. Keep your fingers crossed for them.
SNOWED OUT GAMES WILL BE MADE UP ON MARCH 23RD
February 13, 2013
All games scheduled for February 9th at Maple Place that were snowed out by Nemo will be played on Saturday, March 23, 2013. Same schedule, different date.
NEW RULES FOR REC BASKETBALL SEASON
January 26, 2013
Due to the fact that the Oceanport Basketball Association is combining with the West Long Branch Basketball Association for the 2013 rec basketball season, we will operate under some rules that are a little bit different than in years past. To see the new rules, click here.
Also, please be advised that all jewelry (including, but not limited to, necklaces, earrings and all bracelets) must be removed prior to the game. Players will not be permitted to play while wearing jewelry. Additionally, since 2006, the law in the State of New Jersey has been that players who wear corrective lenses MUST WEAR SPORTS GOGGLES OR OTHER APPROVED PROTECTIVE EYEWEAR. As such, the Oceanport Basketball Association will not allow players to wear regular glasses during games or practices.
MATT MALLEY CARRIES KNIGHTS SENIOR BOYS TO CHAMPIONSHIP IN ST. ROSE OF LIMA TOURNEY
Freehold (UPI): With the defeaning chant of "M-V-P! M-V-P!M-V-P!" shaking the walls of the St. Rose of Lima gymnasium, a delerious overflow crowd of Knights fans carried Matt Malley off the court on their shoulders following the Knights Senior Boys' victory in the championship game of the 2012-2013 St. Rose of Lima Basketball Tournament. Malley, who had already been named as MVP in one of the previous games, magnanimously allowed Ryan Jones to be the MVP of the championship game. "As everybody knows, I'm not about the individual awards," said an exhausted Malley, "I'm about team and family. And my team is my family. Ryan Jones is my brother on the hardwood and he deserved the MVP award for this game. If I wasn't so exhausted from carrying this team to the finals, I would have placed the MVP award around his neck and given him a hug." Assistant Coach Mark Hampton was moved to tears by how well his squad played during the course of the tournament. "Each game was more emotionally charged than the one before it," gushed a crying, disheveled Hampton, "and our boys rose to the occassion every time....I'm sorry...I...it's just that...Oh, I am so incredibly happy to have finally won a tournament after all these years...Matt Malley is the wind beneath our wings...I'm just so overhwelmed...I can't speak. Please leave me alone so that I can compose myself." Hampton's emotional tone didn't go unnoticed by his players. "Geez, he gets all glassy eyed when we hit two consectutive foul shots, I was wondering how he was going to react if we actually won something," said power forward Austin Paglia.
Pictured below are: Head Coach Troy Madison, Kyle Hayes (2), Finn Straine (15), Ryan Jones (3), Tommy Mannino (34), Tyler Pierson (31), JP Harvey (41), Matt "MVP" Malley (42), Bryan Hampton (30), A Tall Man in Shorts and Kyle Devaney (5).
Oceanport Knights Open Up Winter Season on January 6, 2013 With a Full Slate of Home Games
December 31, 2012
The Oceanport Knights' 2013 Mid-Monmouth basketball season kicks off with FIVE home games against Ocean Township this Sunday (January 6, 2013) at Maple Place. The first game of the season will pit Diane Schmelz's U9 Girls against the U9 girls from Ocean Township. Tip off is at 12:15 pm. Coach Schmelz's team is comprised of two returning players (Cassie DeSantis and Brooke Schmelz) and five newcomers to the Knights program (Megan Gammon, Grace McMullin, Grace Decker, Hailee Jaronko and Molly Welsh).
The second game starts at 1:30 pm and markes the first league game for Bill Wollman's U10 girls since their loss in the semi-finals of the Mid-Monmouth playoffs last March. Bill's squad will hit the hardwood with returning players Grace Treshock, Savannah Notte, Caitlin Donegan, Pari Walter and Chloe Wollman. Newcomers Sydney Spears, Jaye Bowler, Julia Davis and Christina Cestone fill out the rest of the roster.
The Boys U8 team, coached by Kevin Condon and Kirk Ruoff, tips off at 2:45 pm. Max Avrillon, Richie Barton, Luke Condon, Carson Cooke, Donovan Davis, Andrew Decker, Jamie Mazzacco, Jack McCarren, Tucker Reid, Christian Ruoff, Lucas Scerbo and Luke Zenkert have already gotten a tournament under their belts and this looks like an incredibly athletic team that should be in the thick of things throughout the season.
The Boys U9 team, coached by Mike Murphy, takes the floor at 4:00 pm. Murphy's squad is deep and athletic. Trevor Crochet, Jack Doehner, Christopher Kessler, Shane McLaughlin, Michael Murphy, Tyler Tilton, Dylan Drahos, Blake Jaronko, Ted Dwyer, Chris Antoon, Trey Shaw, Danny Smith, John Smith and Evan Cirone will be looking to remain at the top of the East standings throughout the year.
Jim Reid's Boys U10 squad closes out the day's slate of games with a 5:15 pm matchup against Ocean Township's U10 Boys. Reid's team is battle tested and combines height, great ball movement and a pressing defense that is sure to serve them well througout the 2013 season. Justin Condon, Zach deMello, Ryan Dolan, Jimmy Donohoe, Charlie Gordinier, Patrick Greene, Matthew Kokolus, Sam Martucci, Ryan Paglia, Hunter Reid, Liam Rempel, Charlie Ruoff, Charlie Straine, Tyler Trimble and Jack Zenkert could be sitting atop the Eatern Division when the dust settles in March.
HEATHER COLES WINS BIG PRIZE AT KNIGHTS FUNDRAISER BUT IS SNUBBED BY INCOMPETENT EMCEE!
Heather Coles, Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team, went home with a basket full of valuable prizes, but that didn't overcome the trauma inflicted upon her by the incompetent emcee of the event, Wink Martindale, who neglected to mention her name when introducing the Knights' coaches to the audience during Thursday's Knights' fundraiser dinner at the Channel Club. Coles, who is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team, is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team. The Senior Girls' team is coached by Dave LaPorta and his Assistant Coach is Heather Coles, the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team. Heather, who some of you may know as the Assistant Coach of the Knights' Senior Girls' team, won a basket of edible goods from Sickles Farm, but, as the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team, was a bit miffed when Martindale did not mention that she is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team. Coles, who is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team, was disgruntled at Martindale's omission. "He's really getting up there in age," said Coles, who is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls team, "You'd think that Knights would provide him with cue cards or something so that he doesn't forget to mention people. You wouldn't believe how disgruntled I am. And I was very gruntled before I got here." Martindale was unavailable for comment.
Other than that horrific gaffe, the event went off without a hitch, aside from the savage wolverine and grizzly bear attacks that left several people wounded. Trish MacGregor, who seemingly had the winning ticket for every other prize, was thrilled with how the evening progressed. "I had a fabulous time winning all the prizes that everybody else wanted to win," Trish gushed as she cleared room on her table for more prizes, "They kept calling the numbers and I kept winning and winning. And to think that Stuart and I only bought five tickets to put in the bags! What an evening!"
Mark "Bone" Hampton, Very Senior Assistant Coach of the Senior Boys, was especially thrilled with the 2012 Knights' fundraiser. "At my age, I don't get out much anymore," offered an obviously exhausted Hampton, "but the day of the Knights' fundraiser is the one time a year that I make sure to double up on my Geritol intake so that I can stay up past my usual bedtime. By the way, who is the assistant coach of the Senior Girls' team?"
Nicole Goldsmith, the official 2012 Knights' Photographer, couldn't believe how much fun she was having. "I can't believe how much fun I'm having," said Goldsmith. She was also excited that she had been selected as the 2012 Knights' Photographer. "I am also excited that I have been selected as the 2012 Knights' Photographer," said Goldsmith. Nicole thought that great food and fantastic company made this a night to remember. "You know," Nicole offered, "the great food and fantastic company has made this a night to remember." When told to stop repeating everything that we were writing, Goldsmith said, "I know you are, but what am I?"
MaryAlyce Turner, the former Oceanport Soccer Association Cover Girl whose first name causes Spellcheck to go berserk, was a bit disappointed in the evening, however, and she voiced her displeasure by wrestling the microphone away from the emcee and screaming, "Why isn?t anybody dancing? We need to get up and boogie! Why isn?t anybody shaking their groove things! Whatsamatta with you people? Who wants to do the Macarena with me?" Luckily, she was forcibly escorted back to her table before she was able to start any line dances.
Even without MaryAlyce dancing the Macarena, and even though Chris Paglia failed to perform his interpretive dance solo "Summer Breeze Adagio" for the fourth consecutive year, the 2012 Knights Fundraiser was a smashing success in that over $2500.00 was raised for the travel basketball program. And, by the way, Heather Coles is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team.
HEATHER COLES WITH HER WINNING BASKET! MORE PICTURES ON OBA'S FACEBOOK PAGE!
PJ Clayton, RJ Bates & Wendy McNicholas Discuss the Merits of the Zone Trap
THE BIG WINNERS!
Chris Paglia: Chick Magnet
Christine Condon and Allyson Zenkert, Basketball Lifers
Jessica and John Doehner, 2012 Knights Prom King and Queen
Rob & Amy Donohoe Before Rob Rode the Bike
A Rose Between Two Thorns
The Shaws and the Greenes Talking Hoops
Michelle Hampton and Two of the Tallest Knights Parents, Mark Hampton and Keith Harvey
Reunion of 1998 National Co-Ed Basketball Champions
The Winningest Table Rubs It In
Rob Donohoe Keeps The Tradition Alive
HEATHER COLES DOMINATES JOHN FEITER MEMORIAL COACH'S GAME!
The weather forecast called for warm weather and blue skies this past Saturday, but it was raining jump shots inside Maple Place as Heather Coles put on quite a display of long range shooting and provided all the offense that Team Paglia needed to defeat Team Welsh in this year's John Feiter Memorial Coach's Game. Coles, hitting mostly long distance jumpers --- including a 3 pointer just before the half that gave the Team Paglia a 5 point lead which would never be relinquished --- was close to unstoppable. Team Paglia, comprised of Chris Paglia, Tom Dolan, Todd Barfield, Jim Klem, Jay Coffey, Coles, Matt Witschel, Jim Kopec and the "Basketball Zombie" John Feiter, fell behind 10-2 to open the game and it took them almost the entire half to figure out Team Welsh's "Triangle and None" defense. Team Welsh, manned by Colin Soyer, Justin Russo, Russ Deady, Mike Murphy, R.J. Bates, Tom Welsh, Craig Farrell, Chris "Homecoming King" Scerbo and Glenn Zwerin, has employed the "Triangle and None" with great success since 2002, but Heather Coles wasn't bothered by this unique defense. "The bottom line is that you have to put the ball in the hoop," said Coles, "and if I get the ball where I need to get it, then I'm going to put the ball in the hoop no matter what defense is played. I am a stone cold scorer. Especially when I play against guys this slow and old." Mike Murphy, Team Welsh's shooting guard, was stunned by the way Coles controlled the court, asking, "Why do we let girls play anyway? It is embarrassing enough that Screbo was wearing his thirty year old grammar school basketball MVP shirt, but to have this girl draining threes all day long was just too much." Heather's daughter, Victoria, an Oceanport Knights travel player, wasn't as impressed with her mom's performance. "What my mom did was nothing special," said Victoria, "Did you see how old and slow those men were? I saw a video of the game and it looked like a still picture. I could have scored 20 points against those guys. In snowboots."
As amazing as Coles was, the most incredible part about the game was that NOBODY GOT HURT. Oh sure, nobody who played in the game could walk on Sunday, but everybody walked out of the gym without assistance when the game was over and that hasn't happened in a long, long time.
You can see more pictures than shown below by going to the Oceanport Basketball Association's Facebook page.
COACH MIKE MURPHY COMMITS AN EGREGIOUS LINE VIOLATION
TODD BARFIELD BEFORE HE DRIVES THE LANE AND RUNS INTO CHRIS PAGLIA
WHITE MEN CAN JUMP, JUST NOT THAT HIGH
R.J. BATES DROPS IN A THREE OVER HEATHER COLES
ONLY GRAY HAIRED OR BALD(ING) MEN ALLOWED TO PLAY
WHAT IS RUSS DEADY DOING? WHY IS HE WHERE HE IS? IS HE CHECKING ON JIM KLEM'S LANE VIOLATION?
THOUSANDS WATCH LUCAS SCERBO & MELI PEKMEZIAN BATTLE IT OUT AT MONMOUTH U!
After winning their respective "Shootout" games at halftime of the Monmouth University-Robert Morris basketball game on January 21st at Oceanport Knight at the MAC, Meli Pekmezian and Lucas Scerbo battled it out at mid-court for the grand prize. Their moves wowed the crowd and help to explain why the Oceanport Knights are playing so well this winter. Meli's moves are loosely based on an old hip-hop dance classic called the "Joey Irace" and Lucas seems to have been inspired by his dad's old dance moves from the late 80s. "I think I would have won," said Lucas, "if I was wearing my dad's Member's Only jacket and his white Capezios. He keeps them in a special place in his closet at home because he swears that they will be coming back in style."
YOU CAN SEE LOADS OF PICTURES FROM OCEANPORT NIGHT ON THE OCEANPORT BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION'S FACEBOOK PAGE. CLICK ON THE FACEBOOK SYMBOL AT THE BOTTOM OF THE MAIN MENU ON LEFT OF SCREEN TO GET TO THE OBA FACEBOOK PAGE.
KNIGHTS TIP-OFF FUNDRAISER HIGHLIGHTS
COACH RED AUERBACH AND ASSISTANT COACH PAT RILEY
Future OBA President, Jim Reid, and 2010 Lawrence Boresen Award Winner Joe Pillari
Rob Proto (center) and two women who are completely out of his league
Allyson Reid and Patty Gordinier discussing the merits of the 2-3 defense
Guest Speakers Pam Ruoff and Kim Britton pior to their speech about the mechanics of the 1-3-1 Zone Press
Terry and Josephine Miller
Mark Hampton at his first Tip-Off party in 19 years!
Corky Mastria, Dave Kelly and Tom Galvin (missing from photo: Dr. James Naismith) reminiscing about how hard it was to shoot into peach baskets while wearing really short shorts and high socks
Jen Pilari - Secret Government Witness
Tiffany Graham Avoids the Papparazzi
Jen and Joe Pillari Basking in the Glow of Each Other
Tiffany Bracelet Winner Tom Galvin Attempting to Coerce Jets Ticket Winner Cy Galvin into Swapping Prizes
MEN'S 35 AND OVER REC BASKETBALL PLAYED ON SUNDAYS 8:00 to 10:00 AM
Men's 35 and Older recreation basketball pick up games at Maple Place School are open to all Oceanport residents 35 and older on Sundays from 8:00 am to 10:00 am. Out of shape has beens and never wuzzes who live in Oceanport and who are at least 35 years of age are invited to play something that resembles basketball, except that it is played in very, very slow motion. Schoolyard rules (call your own fouls, all shots count as 1 point, losers sit, John Feiter is never wrong) apply.