<Center>OCEANPORT BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION</CENTER> - (Oceanport, NJ)

HEATHER COLES DOMINATES JOHN FEITER MEMORIAL COACH'S GAME!
The weather forecast called for warm weather and blue skies this past Saturday, but it was raining jump shots inside Maple Place as Heather Coles put on quite a display of long range shooting and provided all the offense that Team Paglia needed to defeat Team Welsh in this year's John Feiter Memorial Coach's Game. Coles, hitting mostly long distance jumpers --- including a 3 pointer just before the half that gave the Team Paglia a 5 point lead which would never be relinquished --- was close to unstoppable. Team Paglia, comprised of Chris Paglia, Tom Dolan, Todd Barfield, Jim Klem, Jay Coffey, Coles, Matt Witschel, Jim Kopec and the "Basketball Zombie" John Feiter, fell behind 10-2 to open the game and it took them almost the entire half to figure out Team Welsh's "Triangle and None" defense. Team Welsh, manned by Colin Soyer, Justin Russo, Russ Deady, Mike Murphy, R.J. Bates, Tom Welsh, Craig Farrell, Chris "Homecoming King" Scerbo and Glenn Zwerin, has employed the "Triangle and None" with great success since 2002, but Heather Coles wasn't bothered by this unique defense. "The bottom line is that you have to put the ball in the hoop," said Coles, "and if I get the ball where I need to get it, then I'm going to put the ball in the hoop no matter what defense is played. I am a stone cold scorer. Especially when I play against guys this slow and old." Mike Murphy, Team Welsh's shooting guard, was stunned by the way Coles controlled the court, asking, "Why do we let girls play anyway? It is embarrassing enough that Screbo was wearing his thirty year old grammar school basketball MVP shirt, but to have this girl draining threes all day long was just too much." Heather's daughter, Victoria, an Oceanport Knights travel player, wasn't as impressed with her mom's performance. "What my mom did was nothing special," said Victoria, "Did you see how old and slow those men were? I saw a video of the game and it looked like a still picture. I could have scored 20 points against those guys. In snowboots."

As amazing as Coles was, the most incredible part about the game was that NOBODY GOT HURT. Oh sure, nobody who played in the game could walk on Sunday, but everybody walked out of the gym without assistance when the game was over and that hasn't happened in a long, long time.

You can see more pictures than shown below by going to the Oceanport Basketball Association's Facebook page.

COACH MIKE MURPHY COMMITS AN EGREGIOUS LINE VIOLATION

WHAT IS RUSS DEADY DOING? WHY IS HE WHERE HE IS? IS HE CHECKING ON JIM KLEM'S LANE VIOLATION?

TOM DOLAN LEADS A FAST BREAK AND PAGLIA HITS A JUMPER. NO CGI.

ONLY GRAY HAIRED OR BALD(ING) MEN ALLOWED TO PLAY

TODD BARFIELD BEFORE HE DRIVES THE LANE AND RUNS INTO CHRIS PAGLIA

R.J. BATES DROPS IN A THREE OVER HEATHER COLES

WHITE MEN CAN JUMP, JUST NOT THAT HIGH

ROOKIE LEAGUE GAMES, SONNY GIORDANO GAME AND JOHN FEITER MEMORIAL COACH'S GAME SET FOR MARCH 10TH!
The 2011-2012 Oceanport Rec Basketball regular season concludes on Saturday, March 3, 2012, but Saturday, March 10, 2012 is a special day for the Oceanport Basketball Association as that's the day that we hold our Rookie League games, the Sonny Giordano game (for 8th graders only) and the Coach's game.

At the Rookie League games, all of the Rookie League players get to play in a game on the big court at Maple Place. At 10:00 a.m., Heather McGrath's Notre Dame squad will go up against Justin Russo's Duke team. At 11:00 a.m., Paul Zenkert and his Cincinnati crew will take on Chris Scerbo's Rutgers Scarlet Knights. Every player is announced before the game and trophies are handed out after the game during what is annually the biggest photo opportunity in our program. The games are lots of fun and it is hard to tell who is having a better time, the players, the refs or the parents.

The Sonny Giordano Game is a co-ed game played by all of the current 8th graders. The game will start at 12:00 p.m. after the Rookie Games conclude. The teams are chosen by the players right before the game and everybody has to play. It is the last game that these players will play at Maple Place as part of the Oceanport Basketball Association. Again, it is a fantastic photo opp. Pizza and soft drinks are served after the game.

Anthony "Sonny" Giordano pioneered the Oceanport recreation basketball program in the 1970s. He believed that the children of Oceanport should be able to learn the basics of basketball and that all children should be well versed in sportsmanship. To that end, Sonny created a round robin format of weekly games for the kids of Oceanport. In 1982, at age 42, Sonny was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly thereafter. His family and friends started this award in his honor and each year it is given to an 8th grade girl and boy who have participated in the Oceanport Recreation Sports Programs (basketball, soccer, softball, baseball and/or roller hockey) through their grammar school careers and best exemplify the ideals of sportsmanship espoused by Sonny Giordano.

We close out our season with the annual John Feiter Memorial Coach's Game at 2:00 pm. This game honors the fact that John Feiter's hoop game died years ago, but nobody has had the guts to tell him to stop playing. This is the game where you get to hear the comforting sounds of hamstring pulls, ankle rolls and knee sprains and, if we're really, really lucky, you'll be able to hear the unmistakable sound of an achilles tendon snapping. That's a real treat! It is second in popularity to that of only the John Feiter Memorial Softball Game that is played each spring to commemorate the passing of Feiter's softball playing ability. After the game, the coaches meet up at the Oceanport Firehouse for sub sandwiches, pizza and some beverages so that they can all lie to each other about how good they were 30 years ago.

March 10, 2012 Schedule
10:00 a.m. - (Rookie) Notre Dame v. Duke
11:00 a.m. - (Rookie) Cincinnati v. Rutgers
12:00 p.m. - Sonny Giordano Game
02:00 p.m. - John Feiter Memorial Coach's Game

MADDIE MACSTUDY & GABBY BATES NAMED AS MAPLE PLACE CHARGER ALL-STARS
Maple Place 8th graders Maddie MacStudy and Gabby Bates have been chosen to represent the Maple Place Chargers in this year's All-Star Game. The game will be played at the Tinton Falls Intermediate School at 4:30 pm on Monday, March 5, 2012. Both maddie and Gabby are products of the Oceanport Knights Travel Program and the Oceanport Basketball Association's Recreational Basketball League. They will be joined at the All-Star game by Kelly Whitlock and Olivia Lucia, both of whom were selected to represent Monmouth Beach. Whitlock and Lucia are also Knights Travel and OBA Rec Basketball League players.

SHORE AREA HIGH SCHOOL REC BASKETBALL LEAGUE AT SRHS NOW ACCEPTING REGISTRATIONS!
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD REGISTRATION FORM
Registration for Oceanport Basketball Association’s 2012 Shore Area High School Boys’ Recreation Basketball Season is open through March 20, 2012. Registration forms and checks (payable to OCEANPORT BASKETBALL ASSSOCIATION in the amount of $50.00) should be mailed to: Tom Galvin, 63 Wardell Circle, Oceanport, NJ 07757. Players will receive a uniform tee shirt to keep and play games once a week .No practices. Players in grades 9 through 12 play an 8 game schedule in the Recreation League plus playoffs. Each player is guaranteed to play 18 minutes (1/2 regulation time) in each game. Games will be played at Shore Regional High School on Sunday and Wednesday evenings from March 28 through May, with the League Championship Game anticipated for May 20th. Questions should be directed to Tom Galvin at 732-229-7061.

LUCAS ROFFMAN ERUPTS IN RUTGERS' WIN OVER NORTHWESTERN IN BOYS SENIOR LEAGUE FINALE!
Lucas Roffman exploded for 11 points in the Senior Boys League's final game of the 2011-2012 season, leading his Rutgers squad to victory over a struggling Northwestern team in a game that will be remembered for centuries. Roffman's 11 points mostly came during a 4 minute stretch at the close of the fourth quarter as he brought the capacity crowd to its feet with a display of deft outside shooting and strong moves around the basket, culminating in a reverse, underhanded scoop shot as the final buzzer sounded. Roffman, who has been telling people all season that he could average 20 points a game if only he could somehow pry the ball out of teammate Tom Treshock's hands, wasn't surprised by his fourth quarter offensive outburst. "I'm just thankful that Treshock's right arm was so exhausted from shooting so much that he had to pass to me at the end of the game," said an elated Roffman after the game, "They don't call me the Bus Driver for nuthin', you know. They call me the Bus Driver because when I have the ball I take all the other kids to school. And class was in session today, baby!"

Northwestern's Erik Graham actually felt bad for Roffman. "Rutgers has TWO coaches and it took them until the last game of the season to figure out that their offense should run through Roffman? I mean, really, if he played on a team with an unselfish point guard who has above average court vision and an unbelievably high basketball IQ and is incredibly popular with the ladies --- somebody like me --- Lucas would score 40 points a game." Northwestern's Tyler Pierson echoed Graham's sentiments, saying, "I know those coaches he has are really, really old, but how could they not see Roffman's talents? Now those coaches know what we players have known all along: You can't stop Lucas Roffman, you can only hope to contain him." Justin Costell, OBA's Defensive Player of the Decade, gave Roffman the ultimate compliment, saying, "He's the Blake Griffin of grammar school basketball, except without all the muscles, height and jumping ability. Otherwise, though, they are almost identical on the court."

"Lucas really had his game face on today," said Doug Goldsmith, "and when he has his game face on, you know he isn't going to be denied. I mean, look at that face. Go ahead an look at it. It's right over there, to your left. And that's his POST GAME face! Are you going to deny that? I'm not. By the way, if you scroll down a couple of stories you can see me flexing my bicep."

Roffman's buzzer beating scoop shot was the highlight basket of the season. His coach, Old Tom Degnan, leaped off the bench as if an asp had bitten him on the rear end when the ball found its way over rim and into the net. "I definitely pulled something in my thigh, but it was worth it," said Degnan. Assistant Coach Old Jeffery Bonner was absolutely amazed by the last seconds of the game. "I don't know what was more impressive, the scoop shot or the fact that I could see daylight under Degnan's sneakers when he jumped." The Elias Sports Bureau, moreover, has advised the OBA that the words "Degnan" and "jumped" have never before been used together in a sentence.

PHOTO LEFT: LUCAS ROFFMAN WITH POST GAME FACE

KNIGHTS PLAYERS DOUG GOLDSMITH & EVAN COFFEY SELECTED TO REPRESENT MAPLE PLACE IN ALL-STAR GAME
Maple Place 8th graders Doug Goldsmith and Evan Coffey have been chosen to represent the Maple Place Chargers in this year's All-Star Game. The boys' game will be played at the Tinton Falls Intermediate School at 3:30 pm on Monday, March 5, 2012. Both Goldsmith and Coffey play in the Oceanport Basketball Association's Recreational Basketball Leagues and both have played for several years on the same Oceanport Knights Mid-Monmouth team. They will be joined by Monmouth Beach's Jack Britton, another Oceanport Knight & OBA Recreational Basketball League veteran. And, no, we didn't get these pictures from the wall at the Post Office.

OCEANPORT KNIGHTS U9 BOYS MOVE INTO SEMI-FINALS OF MID-MONMOUTH PLAYOFFS
Jim Reid's U9 Oceanport Knights Boys weren't going to let the Oceanport Knights U9 Girls (see story below) have all the fun last weekend in the Mid-Monmouth Playoffs at Hoop Group. The U9 Boys finished the regular season at 7 and 2, making them the #4 seed in the Mid-Monmouth playoff tournament. They opened up their Mid-Monmouth playoff schedule against #5 Manasquan (6 and 3 during the regular season) and dispatched them in short order, 38-15. Our U9 Boys came back the next day to face the #1 seed, Ocean Township, in the quarterfinal game. Ocean Township, undefeated (10-0) during the regular season, trounced Oceanport 30-16 at Maple Place in their only regular season encounter and our boys, much like the Oceanport Knights U9 Girls vs. undefeated #1 seed Rumson, were faced with the daunting task of knocking off the #1 seed on a neutral court.

And knock them off they did. Oceanport, playing an aggressive defense and relying on their height and athleticism to create mismatches on offense, took the game to Ocean Township from the very beginning and held on to win a 25-23 nail biter.

Oceanport now plays Marlboro in the second semi-final game on Saturday, March 3rd at 11:30 am at the Monroe Sports Center. We hear that Monroe is beautiful this time of year, so why not make a day of it and root on the Oceanport Knights U9 Boys at 11:30 am, grab some lunch, and then cheer on the Oceanport Knights U9 Girls at 2:20 pm?

JACK ZENKERT SEALS THE GAME WITH A CLUTCH FOUL SHOT

"ELI" GORDINIER LIGHTS IT UP!

CHARLIE RUOFF SCORES AGAIN!

OCEANPORT KNIGHTS U9 GIRLS ADVANCE TO SEMIFINALS IN MID-MONMOUTH TOURNEY!
Watching him patrol the sidelines in his $500.00 haircut, wearing $1000.000 Italian silk shirts, $2000.00 Zegna suits, $3500.00 Moreschi shoes and a $5000.00 Rolex as he constantly screams and yells at the top of his lungs at players, refs and fans alike, it is easy to forget that Bill Wollman is as good a basketball coach as he is a showman. Known for his three hour practices, surprise 6:00 a.m. wakeup calls and his military-like approach with his U9 Girls Oceanport Knights team, playing for Bill Wollman is not for the faint of heart. As U10 Girls Head Coach Geoff “The Quiet Man” Brignola observed, “I don’t know why he yells and screams so much at his players. I would think that it would be counter-productive after a while, but the bottom line is he gets results. I know that Al DeSantis and I coach a completely different way. In fact, the most emotion you’ll see out of Al during a game is a raised eyebrow or maybe a very furrowed brow. That’s why everybody refers to him as “Silent Al”. While Al and I might not agree with Bill’s “top of the lungs” style of coaching, he certainly deserves credit for this year’s team’s performance.”

And what a performance the U-9 Knights Girls’ team put on this weekend at Hoop Group in the Mid-Monmouth playoffs! The U-9 Girls finished the regular season at 6-4 and entered the Mid-Monmouth playoffs as the number 5 seed in the Eastern Division. They opened up against a very tough West Long Branch squad. West Long Branch was seeded 4th after finishing up just ahead of the Knights at 7-3. Using a stifling defense that is the hallmark of all Wollman coached teams, the U9 Knights edged the Spartans 16-13 in a game that was close throughout. “It really comes down to who really wants it more,” said Caitln Donegan, the U9 Knights’ rugged center, “and, let’s face it, all those 3 hour outdoor practices that Coach Wollman put us through this winter--- especially the ones where he squirted us with cold water from a hose as he yelled at us through a bullhorn --- made us a lot tougher mentally.” Grace Treshock, the U9 Knights’ lockdown defensive stopper, felt confident that her squad would beat West Long Branch. “Coach Wollman’s advance scouting reports were right on the money,” said Treshock, “and our daily four hour film sessions really paid dividends on defense.”

Savannah Notte, Oceanport’s version of Steve Nash, believes that Coach Wollman’s ability to intimidate the referees also played a big part of the team’s success against West Long Branch. “He starts yelling at the refs as soon as he gets out of the car,” said Notte, “After a while, the refs just give in.” Tom Degnan, the Knights basketball program’s Official Good Will Ambassador to the Monmouth County Referee’s Association, concurred with Notte, “You know me. I am as quiet as a church mouse during the games because I’ve never, ever seen a ref reverse a call. But I gottta tell ya, this Wollman really knows how to work them. The refs are afraid to upset him. He’s a magician. But I don’t think he starts yelling at them when he gets out of his car in the parking lot. I think he starts yelling at them IN his car when he leaves his house to go to the game.”

After beating West Long Branch on Saturday morning, the U9 Knights had to come right back on Sunday afternoon to play the #1 seed in the East, undefeated (9-0) Rumson. Unfortunately for Rumson, Bill Wollman’s teams don’t believe in seeds. “Seedings don’t measure heart. Seedings don’t measure how a player reacts under pressure. Seeding are for chumps,” said the U9 Knights’ Guard Cassie DeSantis. Playing with a great deal of heart and grace under pressure, the U9 Knights jumped out to a quick 6 point lead and never looked back, beating the now once-beaten Rumson team 15-9 to gain a spot in next week’s semi-finals. “You know, it is cold and flu season,” said DeSantis, “and about 5 minutes into the game we could tell that the entire Rumson team was coming down with something. That something was a case of the ‘Wollmans’. That’s the type of illness where your shooting hand goes cold and you get kind of disoriented and dizzy every time you try to move the ball into the paint. Once you catch a case of the ‘Wollmans’, you never get better. And Rumson had a severe case.”

Rumson had beaten Oceanport 31-18 at Maple Place in their only regular season game and Coach Wollman’s girls weren’t going to let that happen again. “After we lost to Rumson in the regular season, Coach Wollman made our PARENTS run sprints for an hour after the game,” noted Knights’ guard Pari Walter, “so we knew we had to play extra hard against them this time. We were afraid that Mr. & Mrs. Treshock might not be able to complete sprints at the Hoop Group courts because they are so much bigger than the court at Maple Place.”

In Sunday’s quarter-final playoff game against Rumson, Savannah Notte (5 points) , Meli Pekmezian (4 points), Chloe Wollman (4 points) and Caitlyn Donegan (2 points) keyed the Knights’ offense, ensuring that Treshocks would not have to run sprints on the big court.

“The Knights’ program has had a tradition of tough, win-at-all costs coaches like Bill Wollman,” said OBA President Jay Coffey, “We actively solicit coaches who live vicariously through their players in an attempt to erase the stains of the dismal athletic failures of their youth. This philosophy really makes for a great program and the U9 Girls’ team is yet another example of the gains that can be realized by such self-absorption.”

Actually, folks, if you know Bill Wollman and his assistant coaches Diane Schmelz and Rich Pekmezian, they are anything but the screaming, yelling, maniacal, win-at-all-costs youth coaches who give youth sports a bad name. Indeed, Bill, Diane and Rick represent everything that is GOOD with youth sports. What they have done with this group of 9 year old girls over the past few months is nothing short of amazing. That they’ve advanced to the semi-finals is nothing short of a miracle, but they’ve earned their way to the semi-finals with quality coaching and great team play. And if you want an idea as to how wonderfully this season has gone for the U9 Girls, read this:

To all Knights Parents, coaches and players!!!

To bring a team to this point that has worked so hard to even find enough players the very first day of tryouts is really kind of unheard of!!!

I just want to take a moment to thank you Bill Wollman for initiating the emergence of a Girls 9-10 "Super Team!" It is my estimation, and only from my point of view that the Oceanport Knights has indeed the absolute "best" forward/center and point guard in the East Division, in addition now to having the very best total team in the East Division! The separation of talent on our team after weeks and weeks of practice and girls improving in their recreation games, player to player is not milestones but smidgens of differences in skill, ball handle, offense, defense and really most importantly basketball IQ having the makings of the stellar team they've developed into.

It takes organization, time, preparation and let's not forget about "undying patience" to coach a team. Thank you Bill for your tireless commitment to Knights Basketball!

Wow girls what a great win!!! Because of your hard work, great work ethic, and positive love of your team - "You girls rocked today!!!". "You are the Champions!!! It has been an honor to have been able to assist Coach Wollman in coaching such a talented, kind,loving, and really fun group of girls!!! Whatever the outcome from here on in. . ."You are all the Champions in my book!!".

GO KNIGHTS!!!
Coach Diane
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If you’ve got some free time this Saturday, the Knights U-9 Girls basketball team plays against Middletown South at 2:30 pm at the Monroe Sports Center and they could use your support.
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OUR MID-MONMOUTH SEMI-FINALIST U-9 OCEANPORT KNGHTS: Head Coach Bill Wollman and Assistants Rich Pekmezian and Diane Schmelz; Players (back row) Pari Walter, Savannah Notte, Meli Pekmezian, Chloe Wollman, Cassie DeSantis; (front row) Caitlyn Donegan, Grace Treshock, Brooke Schmelz and Megan Gammon

MAPLE PLACE CHARGERS BOYS BEAT MONMOUTH BEACH IN BASKETBALL AND MATH!
CLICK HERE FOR MAPLE PLACE CHARGERS FINAL STATS
HEAD INTO PLAYOFFS AFTER 34-26 DEFEAT OF MONMOUTH BEACH

Coach Anthony Grassi’s 2012 Maple Place Chargers Boys’ team closed out its regular season on a high note, beating the Monmouth Beach Dolphins 34-26 in a hard fought game played at Maple Place School. The win, coming on the heels of their previous 31-30 victory over the Dolphins, means that Maple Place 8th graders Doug Goldsmith, Austin Paglia, Jonathan Amador, Alex Olsen, J.T. Kessler, Erik Graham and Evan Coffey have gone their entire grammar school basketball careers without ever knowing what it is like to lose to Monmouth Beach. “Well, no matter what happens to any of us for the rest of our lives,” said Graham, “we will always be able to say, ‘At least I never lost to Monmouth Beach.’ And that, my friend, is FOREVER.”

The pre-game ceremonies honoring the seven Maple Place 8th graders must have left them a bit emotional because Monmouth Beach raced out to a 15-4 lead in the first quarter. But Kyle Hayes, a 7th grader whose playing time was increased due to the fact that Jonathan Amador was out sick, hit consecutive clutch jumpers to close out the first quarter as Maple Place started to capitalize on Monmouth Beach’s turnovers. The first quarter ended with Monmouth Beach in the lead 15-8, but the momentum had definitely swung over to the Chargers.

The Chargers dominated the second quarter, outscoring their opponents 10-3, while riding the hot hand of Doug Goldsmith (8 points, 2 rebounds). Goldsmith closed out the scoring in the first half with an old fashioned 3 point play (basket plus a foul shot) with about 20 seconds to go and the teams went into the locker room tied at 18.

Just prior to the half, Monmouth Beach’s point guard and leading scorer, Casey Rogers, left the game with an injury and he did not return in the second half. The absence of Rogers was hardly noticed, however, as the Dolphins raced out to a quick 26-20 lead with 2:30 left to go in the third quarter. It was at that point that the Chargers regrouped and redoubled their efforts on the defensive end. In the last 8:30 of the game the Dolphins were held scoreless by a dominant Chargers defense. With six steals and a blocked shot to their credit on defense, the Chargers reeled off 14 consecutive points in the final 8:30 of the game. Every loose ball seemed to end up in the hands of a Maple Place player. Evan Coffey and Doug Goldsmith had 6 rebounds and 2 steals between them in the fourth quarter and J.T. Kessler had a big basket during the comeback. The two biggest 4th quarter baskets, however, were scored by Austin Paglia. Just as he did in the first game against Monmouth Beach, Paglia scored the last two buckets of the game --- his only points --- and dashed any hopes of a Monmouth Beach comeback. As Paglia noted after the game, “Why score in the beginning of the game when nobody will remember it? The big money is in the big shots at the END of the game. I’m like the Mariano Rivera of grammar school basketball.”

A sub-plot to this game involved a bit of gamesmanship on the part of Monmouth Beach that backfired on them and their fans. When the Maple Place Chargers showed up at the first game at Monmouth Beach this year, the Monmouth Beach fans (the “MB Crazies”) and players were wearing t-shirts with mathematical symbols on them that essentially said “Dolphins > WLB Spartans” and “Dolphins > Chargers”. Unfortunately for Monmouth Beach, when their first two games against the Spartans and the Chargers ended, Monmouth Beach scored < their opponents each time. So, in addition to being 0 and 2 against their two main rivals, they were in need of a new t-shirt because the old one made them look like they could use some help in math.

When the Maple Place Chargers took the court against Monmouth Beach last week, the Maple Place players were wearing t-shirts that said, “THE NEW MATH: 07757 > 07750”. Unlike their opponents’ t-shirts, which are the grammar school equivalent of “Dewey Beats Truman”, the Maple Place Chargers’ t-shirts were as correct after the game as they were before it. Goldsmith and Coffey, the only two current 8th graders to play for the Chargers since 6th grade, finished 6-0 against Monmouth Beach over the past three years. “Numbers don’t lie,” said a satisfied Coffey, “and our shirts will always be 100% cotton and 100% accurate. Like Erik Graham says, that’s FOREVER!” Goldsmith agreed, saying, "Monmouth Beach finished 0-2 against both Maple Place and West Long Branch this year. Their shirts were 50% polyester, 50% cotton and 100% wrong. Did you ever see the movie 'Grown-ups'? We're like Adam Sandler's team."

8TH GRADE MAPLE PLACE CHARGERS SAY GOODBYE

JOHN POCCIA TAKES SECOND PLACE IN STATE FINALS AT ELKS' HOOP SHOOT CONTEST
Oceanport Knight John Poccia shot his way to the New Jersey State Finals of the 2012 Elks Local 233 Hoop Shoot contest. In January, John nailed 23 out of 25 foul shots at the District Finals in Old Bridge to advance to the State Finals. In the State Finals, held in South Plainfield on February 12th, John hit 24 out of 25 foul to tie for first, before losing in a double shoot out. John is the second player from the Oceanport Knights to make it to the State Finals and he was really pleased with his effort. "At first I thought it was odd that elks would be involved in a foul shooting contest given the fact that they are extremely large, solitary, woodland mammals that aren't particularly suited to playing basketball," said Poccia after he prevailed in the District Finals, "In fact, most people don't realize that the elk is the second largest member of the family Cervidae. Only the moose is larger. So I was pretty confident that I was going to do well against them. It wasn't till we got to the court that I realized that there would be no foul shot shooting elks. My bad."

Poccia's success at foul shooting came as a big surprise to his long time Knights coach, Jay Coffey. "He can shoot foul shots? Wow. I've never seen him shoot from any place closer than 27 feet from the basket. He once complained to me that there isn't a 4 point line in basketball. Most of the shots he took for the Knights over the past four years required him to dial "1" first. I wish we had known about his foul shooting prowess earlier. Kids these days..."

The Elks “Hoop Shoot” Free Throw Contest is the largest and most visible of the many youth activities sponsored by Elks Lodges. More than three million boys and girls, ages 8-13, will participate this year. The Elks “Hoop Shoot” highlights the Elks commitment to America's youth. From the millions of youngsters who participate and advance through local, district, state and regional competition, six national champions are named — one boy and one girl in each of three categories: ages 8-9, 10-11 and 12-13.

And for those of you with higher reading comprehension levels, Gil Goldsmith was a State Finalist in 2010.

THOUSANDS WATCH LUCAS SCERBO & MELI PEKMEZIAN BATTLE IT OUT AT MONMOUTH U!
After winning their respective "Shootout" games at halftime of the Monmouth University-Robert Morris basketball game on January 21st at Oceanport Knight at the MAC, Meli Pekmezian and Lucas Scerbo battled it out at mid-court for the grand prize. Their moves wowed the crowd and help to explain why the Oceanport Knights are playing so well this winter. Meli's moves are loosely based on an old hip-hop dance classic called the "Joey Irace" and Lucas seems to have been inspired by his dad's old dance moves from the late 80s. "I think I would have won," said Lucas, "if I was wearing my dad's Member's Only jacket and his white Capezios. He keeps them in a special place in his closet at home because he swears that they will be coming back in style."

YOU CAN SEE LOADS OF PICTURES FROM OCEANPORT NIGHT ON THE OCEANPORT BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION'S FACEBOOK PAGE. CLICK ON THE FACEBOOK SYMBOL AT THE BOTTOM OF THE MAIN MENU ON LEFT OF SCREEN TO GET TO THE OBA FACEBOOK PAGE.

REC BASKETBALL PICTURES FROM JANUARY 21, 2012
These are just a few of the photos from last weekend's action packed games. We have HUNDREDS more on the Oceanport Basketball Association's Facebook page.

Danny Mendillo Calling His Agent About Playing Time

Charlie Gordinier at the Line

OCEANPORT KNIGHTS NOW A COMBINED 15-5!
The Oceanport Knights have stormed out of the gates this winter, posting a combined 15-5 record to date. Both the U-10 and U-9 Boys are undefeated (each 3-0), while the U-10 girls are 3- 2and U-9 girls are 4-1. The U-8 Boys are 2-2.

OCEANPORT KNIGHTS IN ACTION

PHOTOS AND VIDEOS OF WEEK 2 REC BASKETBALL

JACK BRITTON REBOUNDS AND SCORES

OCEANPORT KNIGHTS OPEN SEASON WITH COMBINED 7-1 RECORD
The Oceanport Knights acquitted themselves quite nicely during their first week of play in the Mid-Monmouth Basketball League, finishing with 7 wins and only 1 loss in 8 games. Bill Wollman's U-9 Girls rang up two wins, beating Spring Lake 24-13 and Shrewsbury 12-11. Kevin Condon's U-8 Boys played the first game of the Knights' season, a 17-4 loss to perennial powerhouse Manasquan, but bounced back to defeat Point Pleasant 19-12. Geoff Brignola's U-10 Girls beat Shrewsbury 16-12 in their only game of the week, while Jim Reid's U-9 Boys team stormed through Rumson (35-10) and Point Pleasant like Sherman through Georgia. RJ Bates and his U-10 Boys closed out the week with a 33-12 shellacking of Point Pleasant. Some photos of the Knights in action can be seen below.

"D" AS IN DONEGAN
Caitlyn Donegan's Defense Causes a Turnover

The Oceanport Knights U-10 Boys

U-9 GIRLS' FANS GO BERSERK AS SAVANNAH NOTTE DUNKS!

U-9 GIRLS KNOW HOW TO PLAY DEFENSE

Mike Deusch Goes Baseline

MAPLE PLACE CHARGER BOYS DEFEAT WLB SPARTANS 34-27; NOSTRADAMUS & MAYANS BAFFLED
WEST LONG BRANCH (UPI) - In what many consider to be the finest game ever played by a Maple Place Middle School team on the first Thursday of January in an even numbered year, the Maple Place Boys' basketball team ventured into the hostile environs of the Frank Antonides School as prohibitive underdogs, yet came away with an inspired 34-27 victory over the West Long Branch Spartans. Those in attendance can tell their grandchildren that they were there when Coach Anthony Grassi began his assault on Coach Don Brocklebank's record for most wins by a Maple Place coach. The win was the first of the year for the 1-3 Chargers and, as Kenny "The Microwave" Wilhalme, Maple Place's #1 long distance scoring threat, put it after the game, "We shocked the world. Nostradamus didn't predict this, the Farmer's Almanac didn't predict this and the Mayan Calendar even had the Spartans as an 8 point favorite. Mark my words, this victory is going to have a bigger impact on the American psyche than when they switched Darrens from Dick York to Dick Sargent and never explained why on the old Bewitched TV show. You heard it here first."

Doug "The Bicep" Goldsmith led the way for the Chargers with ten points and nine tough rebounds, just missing a "double-double", all the while holding West Long Branch's leading scorer in check. Evan Coffey finished with 9 points and 4 assists and outplayed the Spartans’ point guard while flawlessly orchestrating the Chargers' newly installed "Aruban" offense.

Austin "The Volcano" Paglia erupted for 9 points and 5 rebounds as he carried the Chargers in the first half before getting into foul trouble. A concerned Paglia said, "I've never been in trouble before. I hope my parents don't find out about this." Tommy Mannino stepped in for Paglia in the third quarter and chipped in with two important assists and two big rebounds. Erik Graham pitched in with 2 points, 2 rebounds and 2 assists. Said Graham, "In my book, that's a triple double, baby!" Jonathan Amador's lock down defense was the key to keeping the Spartans out of the lane all game and he hit two clutch free throws in the waning seconds of the 4th quarter to ice the victory. Super Sixth Man JT Kessler came in off the bench, scored 4 points -- including two on an incredible spinning layup -- and had an assist and rebound, but it was his defensive aggressiveness that helped preserve the win for the boys in blue.

2011-2012 MAPLE PLACE CHARGERS
Back Row: Coach Grassi, Austin Paglia, Kenny "The Microwave" Wilhalme, Alex Olsen, Jonathan Amador, Evan Coffey, Tommy Mannino, Doug "These Are My Armpits" Goldsmith
Middle Row: Brandon Jackson, Kyle Hayes, AJ Shirley, Michael Barecca, Matt Altomare, Stevie Johnson, JP Harvey
Front Row: JT Kessler, Erik Graham

OCEANPORT SPORTS FOUNDATION'S CHARITY EVENT KICKS OFF HOLIDAY SEASON SUCCESSFULLY!
The Oceanport Sports Foundation held its Third Annual Holiday Wine and Food Tasting Charity Fundraiser on December 1, 2011 and, once again, it was a rousing success on many levels. The event raised close to $15,000.00 for the repair, maintenance and improvement of the Borough of Oceanport’s recreational sports facilities and fields, and with over 400 people in attendance, including such local social luminaries as Joe Irace, Nicole Goldsmith, Geoff Brignola, Mary Alyce Turner and Mike MacStudy, the event was a paparazzi’s dream come true. The only thing missing was a red carpet. “Actually, I was quite disappointed that there wasn’t a red carpet,” said Oceanport resident, bon vivant and man-about-town Ken Wilhalme . “I attend several charity events each week and red carpets are now de rigueur for those who enjoy the finer things in life. The people of Oceanport want and need a red carpet entrance. Whoever organized this thing really missed the boat on that and it better be rectified by next year.”

With 21 food vendors from across the state offering samplings of their culinary delights, nobody went home hungry. In fact, two people who tried to complete The OSF Food Marathon (two samplings from each vendor, in numerical order, within 45 minutes) were taken out on stretchers after keeling over from “food induced, semi-catatonic euphoria” at food station 16. “They seemed to be in a state of extreme ecstasy,” said the EMT in charge of their removal. “They had big smiles on their francaise sauce stained faces, and despite the fact that their stomachs had distended so much that their belts had burst open violently, they kept pleading for us to pass the cannoli station on the way out. They had such peaceful, serene, contented looks on their faces. It was as if they had seen a vision of the Virgin Mary, except in this case she was wrapped in bacon and smothered in a creamy Bechemel sauce.” Scott Arnette, who has attended all three of the Wine and Food Tasting events, was visibly shaken by the incident. “Who in their right mind would try such a thing? The human body is just not built to handle so much great tasting food in such a short period of time. Even the great Kobayashi would need to train for months just to get past what we here in Oceanport call the ‘Gastric Amen Corner’ --- the place on the far side of the room where the combination of Seared Pork Bellies, Truffled Parsnip and Cranberry Gastrique (from the Palace at Somerset), Crab Balls with Sweet Chili Sauce and Herb Aoli (prepared by Brandl of Belmar) and Artichokes Hearts Francaise (from Tuzzio’s Italian Cuisine in Long Branch) tends to overwhelm even the most highly developed taste buds. And to eat TWO of each is sheer insanity.”

Lisa Aromando, fresh off of her world tour as the lead in the New York City Ballet’s production of “Pippin on Ice”, loved the Dublin House’s Irish Lasagna, “I didn’t know that there was such a thing as Irish Lasagna until tonight. It was delicious. Next year I am hoping to try their Italian Soda Bread.” Johnny Piancone’s Orecchiette Belvedere was so good that Jeffrey Bonner of Monmouth Beach said, “I can’t even pronounce whatever it is that I am eating. All I know is that it is mouth watering and I want to eat a lot more of it.” The Shrimp Arrabiata from Wenning & Son Foods was so tasty that Janine Hammer of Oceanport was caught with two pounds of it in her pocketbook and Bill Deerin of Oceanport ate so much seafood at Lusty Lobster’s raw bar that he was spouting salt water out of a blow hole in his back by the end of the night. “I’ve never seen anybody peel a shrimp so quickly,” said a Lusty Lobster representative. “Bill is to crustaceans what Edward Scissorhands is to hedges.”

Everybody had their favorite dish. “I bet that nothing tastes better than the Root Beer Braised Pork with Maple Whipped Sweet Potatoes from Drew’s Bayshore Bistro,” said Tom Treshock of Monmouth Beach as, much to the embarrassment of his wife, he licked his plate clean of sweet potatoes, “but I think I will have to eat about a pound of the Langosta Lounge’s Lobster Macaroni and Cheese and Ono Salad before I can say anything definitively.” But not everyone agreed with him. “Tom Treshock wouldn’t know an Ono Salad from Yoko Ono,” countered Long Branch’s Susan Stroffolino. “The simple fact of the matter is that the Draft House’s Sliced Hangar Steak on Toasted Garlic Crostini with Frizzled Onions and Chipotle Mayo is the best dish in the room and if Tom wants to debate me on that subject over a plate of unbelievably scrumptious specialty cold wraps and assorted baked goods from the Countryside Café, I am more than willing to do so.” Joe Amatucci of Oceanport, however, was of the opinion that the Penne Ala Vodka from Scala’s Pizzeria was the culinary star of the evening. “If it were socially acceptable, I would bathe in Scala’s vodka sauce,” said an enthusiastic Amatucci. "I know it sounds crazy, but it is THAT good. There should be a law requiring people to eat Scala’s Penne Ala Vodka. In fact, I am going to see if I can get Councilman Will Johnson to sponsor the legislation.”

“I spent the whole night noshing on the specialty soups and salads from the Salad Shack,” said Pete Cresci of Bayonne. “I was initially intrigued by the notion that someone would have a shack full of salad and I ended up eating everything they had to offer. The soup was out of this world. They should really call it the Soup and Salad Shack. But I guess you can’t have a shack full of soup, so you’d have to call it the Soup Bowl & Salad Shack and that’s kind of long and confusing, so maybe I should just shut up and eat.”

The Red Bank Culinary School’s Louisiana Chicken Mamou was a big hit with Oceanport’s Rick Karinja. “I don’t know what a Mamou is, but it sure tastes good with chicken!” Meat lovers had their taste buds tickled at the Wenning & Son Foods’ Mini-Reubens and Branches Catering’s Beef Tenderloin tables, both of which had big lines in front of them all evening.

But the night wasn’t just about food. “My favorite liquid used to be vodka,” gushed Tim Britton of Monmouth Beach, “but after tasting Piccolo Italia’s Butternut Squash Soup with Spiced Crème Fraiche & Cranberry Gastrique I think the people who make vodka have some catching up to do.”

Desserts were worthy of a Royal Wedding. Sal “The Cannoli King” LaRosa of LaRosa’s Bakery put out a spread of cannoli’s and other specialty confections that were “to die for” advised Monmouth Beach’s Dean Patton. “I think my Richard Simmons and Jane Fonda workout tapes are going to be on overdrive this weekend,” said Patton as he deftly stuffed another cannoli into his mouth. Nina’s Waffles & Sweets of Red Bank offered a tempting array of Mini Liege Waffles with Pearl Sugar that were so sinfully good that Oceanport’s Tom Galvin felt “they should have a confessional right next to them.” For the second year in a row, the Cheesecake Pops from Oceanport’s Chelsea Senior Living were a crowd favorite. “If these cheesecake pops are any indication of how good the food is at Chelsea Senior Living, I can’t wait to turn 65!” shouted Oceanport’s Tom Welsh. Rounding out the after dinner delights was Branches’ famous Flowing Chocolate Fountain and assorted fresh fruit. “The way I look at it, no matter how much chocolate you eat, if it has fresh fruit in it, it’s a healthy snack and good for you,” said Little Silver’s Mark Friedman after being convinced by friends that it would not be a good idea to dive into the chocolate fountain. All of these fantastic desserts were washed down with rich, textured coffees from Clover Hill Coffee Roasters of Freehold.

Patrons of the event also had the opportunity to sample beer and wine --- and sample they did --- from around the world as accompaniment to the exotic food offerings. Beer drinkers chose from Heineken, Sam Adams Winterfest, Peroni, Stella Artois, Pilsner Urquel, Newcastle Brown Ale, Dos Equis, Corona, Yuengling, Sierra Nevada and Blue Moon, while wine drinkers enjoyed samplings of Danzante Pinot Grigio, Berenger Founder’s Estate Chardonnay, Campobello Chianti Reserva, Beaulieu Vineyard Cabernet Sauvignon, Dynamite Winery Cabernet Sauvignon and a selection from Branches’ wine cellar.

Oceanport’s Rob Proto was thrilled with the whole evening. “I was supposed to be at the Barry Manilow concert tonight with my friends Jimmy Murphy and Joe Pillari,” said Proto. “We’re the three biggest Manilow fans in the world --- Jimmy’s a real Manilow fanatic --- and we never miss his concerts when he’s in the area. But I am so glad that my wife talked me into going to this function with her instead. What a wonderful evening! Barry might write the songs, but the Oceanport Sports Foundation really knows how to throw a party.”

The Board Members of the Oceanport Sports Foundation --- Jim Gallo Sr., Jay Briscione, Dave Gruskos, Tom Schiavone, Mike Tober, Tom Leavy, Jay Coffey, Mike Mahon, Rock Karinja, Bob Kelly and Chris Paglia --- want to thank everyone who attended the event and/or contributed in any way to its success. For more information about the Oceanport Sports Foundation, please visit the OSF’s facebook page, the Oceanport Basketball Association’s website or the Oceanport Soccer Association’s website.

KNIGHTS' JUNIOR BOYS WIN WLB THANKSGIVING TOURNAMENT! STEVEN LUBISCHER NAMED MVP!
Coach Mark Hampton's Junior Boys' Oceanport Knights team took home the bacon at the West Long Branch Sports Association's 2011 Thanksgiving Basketball Tournament. Hampton's squad is comprised of Kyle Devaney, Gil Goldsmith, Bryan Hampton, JP Harvey, Tommy Kalinowski, Steve Lubischer, Brian Saible and Jake Turner, all of who helped the Knights to victory. The Junior Knights opened up the tournament with a triple overtime 39-36 loss to Wall in the opening round and then rebounded with three straight victories: 44-37 over Ocean Township, 40-34 over a previously undefeated Marlboro team and and a 35-24 thumping of Holmdel in the finals. "The kids played their hearts out in every game," said Hampton, "We beat Holmdel in the finals, but we had to beat a Marlboro team that hadn't lost in two years to get to the finals. And these boys just took care of things. Everyone on the team contributed. Gil Goldsmith, Steve Lubischer and JP Harvey were fantastic today. Lord knows it wasn't the coaching. And we looked great in our Gold Coast Cadillac warm-up jerseys!" Steven Lubischer was named the tournament's MVP in his age group for the second straight year.

The Oceanport Knights' Senior Boys lost to Old Bridge in the semi-finals. Oceanport's Kenny "The Kaiser" Wilhalme had a good look at a three point shot as the final buzzer sounded, but the ball bounced off the front rim and Oceanport ended up losing 50-22.

MARK HAMPTON AND 129 OTHER PEOPLE ATTEND OCEANPORT KNIGHTS' 20TH ANNUAL TIP OFF PARTY
After 18 years of assiduously avoiding the Oceanport Knights' annual Tip Off Dinner, Mark "Bone" Hampton attended his second consecutive dinner at the Channel Club and, by all accounts, he had a great time. Hampton, the only grandfather in the Knights' head coaching ranks, really, realy enjoyed himself this year because he was elected to pull the numbers out of the prize baskets. "At my age, that was really exciting," professed an out of breath Hampton, "It was almost like being the guy who pulls the numbers at Bingo at the assisted living facility that my wife keeps dropping me off at on weekends. I used to think that the only thing better than Bingo is Arts and Crafts, but now I know better." As the pictures below evidence, while Hampton was being kept busy pulling numbers out of bags, 129 other people were enjoying the evening in a different, non-AARP kind of way.

First Place Winners of "Cutest Couple" Contest

Four Women In Jackson Pollack Blouses

Donna Bradley and Kelly Rogers, Knights Basketball lifers, light up the room

Adrienne and Dan McLaughlin discuss the importance of boxing out with Dean and Lori Patton

Marion Wilhalme, Keeper of the Cash

Exactly How a Party Should Look

Geoff Brignola Re-enacts a Scene From Paranormal Activity

Same Picture As The One A Little Below, But Nicole Wanted Another One Taken Because She Didn't Like The First One

The Poccias and The Tomainos Discuss Jay Coffey's Poor Coaching of the Senior Boys' Team

Russ Deady Channels Rico Suave

I Kid You Not, These Three Women Forcibly Deleted From My Camera The First Picture That I Took of Them Because They Didn't Like How They Looked

Sue Coffey and Master of Ceremonies Emeritus,John O'Connell

Jeff & Micaela Campbell and Liz Dunzelman Wondering Why They Haven't Won Any Prizes

Katy Kokolus and Allyson "That's Why God Gave Us Two Hands" Zenkert Enjoy The Evening

Nicole and Mike Deusch argue the merits of the Matchup Zone with Tracy & Mike Pennell

Tim "Mr. Oceanport Baseketball" Britton and Emmy nominated actor Stanley Tucci

3rd Place Winners in "Cutest Couple" Contest

Dave & Lynn Roberts Look On In Horror As Bill Wollman Tackles His Wife, Therese

"Blouses By Rorshach" Runway Models, Kim Britton and Denise Desantis

2nd Place Winners in "Cutest Couple" Contest

Coach Heather Coles discusses her new book, "Basketball, My Way!" with her mother-in-law.

PAOLO CHRISTOFO RENDE L'ITALIA FIERA! LA SQUADRA COFFEY SCONFIGGE LA SQUADRA LLOYD, 29-26
June 28, 2011 OCEANPORT (Reuters) - Paolo Christofo’s clutch tre punto with just under 10 secondi left in the game proved to be the winning margin in Team Coffey’s 29-26 win over Team Lloyd. Erik “You Can’t Make My Name Sound Italian No Matter How Hard You Try, Mr. Coffey” Graham was held to a season low two points as Team Coffey’s Alessio Pattonucci contested every shot in the paint. In the absence of each team’s captain (both of whom were suffering from severe bouts of vacationitis), both teams relied on balanced scoring attacks. Tomasso Mannino scored 8, Giacomo Brittoni had 6 and Giovanni Dellahanti had 5 for team Lloyd, while Christofo (17), Pattoni (8) and Luco Dautri (4) shared the load for Team Coffey. The ”Chef Boyardeefensive Player of the Game”, Jeffrey Bonner, did not score, but had his hands up on defense for most of the game. “ I am honored to have been chosen the Chef Boyardeefensive Player of the Game,” said Bonner. “I love playing defense and eating Spaghetti-Os, so this is a dream come true for me.”

Whoever kept the book for the third game of the night really screwed it up, so we’ll post the results of that game in a day or two.

PUO QUALCUNO ARRESTARE LA SQUADRA TRESCHOCCHINI?
June 28, 2001 OCEANPORT (Reuters) - Tomasso Treshocchino and Giacomo Cambellini starred in Team Treshocchini’s 60-51 victory over previously unbeaten Team Poccia in Tuesday night’s opening game. Treshocchino was especially good late in the game as his due tre colpi del punti put the game away. Matched up against Team Poccia’s Patrizio Musselmanico, Treshoccino was forced to resort to a series of pick and roll maneuvers to free himself up for shots on his way to a team high total of diciotto (18) punti. Giovanni Poccia played fantastic defense against Cassimo Rogersmo --- holding him to tredici (13) punti --- while leading his team with ventiquattro (24) punti. Patrizio Musselmanico scored undici (11) punti and had un importo tremendo of rebounds, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the unselfish play of Treshocchini’s Giacomo Cambellini, Michael Lomazzo and Timoteo O’Brienistimatallati, all of whom played fantastico. Poccia was philosophical about his team’s first defeat saying, “La cosa più importante è noi ancora ha nostri buoni sguardi.” (Roughly translated: The most important thing is we still have our good looks)

DELAHANTY LEADS JET LAGGED TEAM LLOYD TO 46-41 WIN OVER TEAM PARRINO
JULY 5, 2011 - OCEANPORT (UPI) - Ean Delahanty opened the game with two 3 pointers for Team Lloyd, but Team Parrino stormed out to a 24-17 halftime lead on the shoulders of an absolutely relentless Marco Parrino (19 first half points). Parrino, sporting what many believed to be a new Justin Bieber hairdo, cooled off a bit in the second half (11 points) and Team Lloyd took full advantage, scoring 31 points in the second half. Dylan Lloyd, 9 second half points and 13 overall, didn't think it was his team's defense that slowed down Parrino in the second half, "I was going to get a Justin Bieber haircut just like Marco has, but I found out that when you sweat all of the sweat beads up on that little tip of hair in the front and pours right into your eyes. In the second half Marco looked like he needed windshield wipers on his eyes. It's a great haircut for singing and dancing, but not so much for playing basketball." Delahanty, who led Team Lloyd in scoring with 16 points, was very impressed with his team's win, "To win a game like this without our emotional leader, Kenny Wilhalme, is a testament to how Kenny has galvanized us and turned us into a real team." When reached by phone on his Lear Jet for comment, Wilhalme, who missed the game due to a previously scheduled speaking engagement at the Lake Yakima Rotary Club in Ontario, was equally impressed, saying, "I'm equally impressed." Parrino refused to admit that his haircut had anything to do with his second half drop off in scoring, saying, "If looking good is a crime, then lock me up."

TEAM GOLDSMITH FIGHTS FOR SECOND TIE, 41-41, AGAINST TEAM PARRINO
JUNE 28, 2011 (OCEANPORT) - Team Goldmsmith, playing without captain Doug Goldmsith who will miss the remainder of the season after suffering injuries to his fingernail in a full contact Tiddleywinks tournament, battled with Team Parrino for 5 quarters and achieved their second tie of the season, 41-41. According to Stats 'R Us, the official keeper of statistics for the summer league, never in the history of the summer league at Maple Place has a team had two ties in one season. Doug Goldsmith, who watched the game via live satellite feed from his bed at the Center for Kids Who Have Severe Tiddleywinks Injuries in Geneva, Switzterland, was proud as a peacock that his team fought so hard, stating, "This is a record that will never be broken. Unless, of course, we tie again next week." Marco Parrino wasn't as thrilled with the tie, dejectedly saying, "We had a perfect record coming into this game and now our quest for a perfect season is over." With the tie, Team Goldsmith moved to 1-1-2 and Team Parrino improved to 0-3-1.

MCLAUGHLIN PROVIDES MARGIN OF VICTORY AS TEAM POCCIA BEATS TEAM COFFEY IN 54-47 SHOOTOUT
JULY 5, 2011 - OCEANPORT (UPI) - Devin McLaughlin's 7 point outburst proved to be the margin of victory in Team Poccia's 54-47 victory over Team Coffey. Brett Norman, who chipped in with 5 points for the Poccias, was very impressed with McLaughlin's output, " Devin really carried us tonight. Let's face it. It would have been a tie game had he not scored 7 points. I don't know where we would be without him." JT Kessler (6) and Johnny Roslin (4) were the only other players on Team Poccia to score more than 2 points, other than John Poccia who added 28 points. "We couldn't stop McLaughlin," said Team Coffey's Austin Paglia, "and that was the key to the game. I mean Poccia scored 28 points and everything, which is nice, but it is quite obvious that McLaughlin's 7 points were the margin of victory. They didn't beat us by 28, they beat us by 7, so, naturally, Devin's points were more important." Team Coffey was led by Evan Coffey (14), Austin Paglia (9) and Paul Christopher (8). The game was stopped in the second quarter for a few minutes when Team Coffey's Alex Patton hit his second free throw of the game. "We were worried that the world was coming to an end when he hit the second one," said Ref Tom Galvin, "but when the walls didn't fall down we resumed the game. When Paglia hits a 3 pointer and Patton makes two free throws, all in one game, and the world doesn't end, well, you've got to feel pretty lucky."

ROGERS, CAMPBELL & WERSINGER COMBINE FOR 16 POINTS IN 4TH QUARTER IN TEAM TRESHOCK'S 33-30 WIN
JULY 5, 2011 - OCEANPORT (UPI) - Jack Campbell's clutch three point shooting and a hot hand on the part of Casey Rogers propelled Team Treshock to a 33-30 victory over an undermanned Team Goldsmith. Team Goldsmith, playing once again without Captain Doug Goldsmith who is out with a Tiddleywinks injury, fought gamely and actually had the lead after each of the first three quarters. Bobby "Tomahawk" Tomaino led the Goldsmiths with 12 points, while Dante Montesino and Alex Johnson contributed 7 and 4 points, respectively. In a surprising turn of events, Team Goldsmith's Mikey O'Halloran fouled out of the game. This is the first time this season that a player has fouled out of a game. O'Halloran was loudly and rudely booed by the boorish fans of Team Treshock every time he touched the ball. Said O'Halloran, "The booing doesn't bother me, but I think the refs' calls were influenced by all of their caterwauling. I am used to getting booed by them during games, but we had some thin skinned refs tonight. What DOES bother me is when they all get together to boo me at the beach when I am riding a wave. And, by the way, I know that you are going to Google the word caterwauling when you finish reading this." Team Treshock trailed 20-15 entering the 4th quarter, but Campbell hit two 3 pointers, Casey Rogers poured in 10 points and Mike Lomazzo's added a basket as the Treshocks exploded for 18 points in the final stanza. A forlorn Goldsmith, who watched the game from the stands, said, "We have to get the ball to Connor Scesa more if we want to win these games."

"DOWNTOWN" DEGNAN'S LONG RANGE SHOOTING PROPELS TEAM TRESHOCK OVER TEAM PARRINO, 41-37
June 21, 2011 - OCEANPORT (UPI) In the second game of the evening, Team Treshock rode the long distance, 4th quarter shooting of Kevin “Downtown” Degnan in its 41-37 victory over winless Team Parrino. Degnan’s two big three point shots turned the game around in the 4th quarter, as Team Parrino’s Coach Benedict oversaw another 4th quarter, double-digit collapse. While Kyle Hayes (12) and Casey Rogers (13) spearheaded the Treshock attack, it was Coach Benedict’s inability to deal with Degnan’s marksmanship that keyed the Treshock victory. “He is so small,” said Benedict, “and I really didn’t notice that he was on the court until it was too late. I didn’t know that if you threw the bouncy thing into the orange thing from behind that line that you get three points. I believe that the refs should have been more clear on that rule before the game.”

Degnan, who finished with 10 points, couldn’t believe that he was getting such clean looks at the basket. “Didn’t that coach know that my last name is Degnan?” asked Degnan. “In Gaelic, the word Degnan means ‘he who shoots a lot’ and my dad’s name is William Degnan, which, in Gaelic, means ‘he who shoots a lot --- even if he isn’t open --- and keeps on shooting till he gets hot and then forgets how many shots he missed and only remembers the shots he made’. It is amazing how much the word William means in Gaelic, isn’t it?” I think that “Treshock” means the same thing,” continued Kevin, “because my uncle Tugger keeps yelling “SHOOT” every time Tommy Treshock touches the ball.”

Team Parino was led by the eponymous Marco Parrino (16 points), Jonathan Amador (11 points) and Justin “For The Defense” Costell (6 points and great defense).

ROSLIN,POCCCIA OVERCOME BENEDICT'S COACHING IN TEAM POCCIA'S 47-42 WIN OVER TEAM LLOYD
June 21, 2011 - OCEANPORT (UPI) In the nightcap, Team Poccia relied on Johnny Roslin’s big shots to overcome Coach Benedict’s 4th quarter jitters in its 47-42 victory over a Lloydless Team Lloyd. Team Poccia, paced by John Poccia’s 19 points, raced out to a big lead, but watched its double-digit 4th quarter lead dwindle to just few with minutes to go. Team Lloyd’s Jack Britton was positive that his squad was going to emerge victorious in the 4th quarter, saying, “After watching Coach Benedict coach the first two games, I figured we were a sure thing once we fell behind by 10 at the start of the 4th quarter. Maybe we didn’t try hard enough because we figured that he would do something to help us out.” Team Lloyd’s Coach, Jim Mahoney, said, “I can’t believe that we lost to a team that was coached by John Benedict! I am absolutely mortified. If I were Amish, I would be shunned by my village.”

Both teams had balanced scoring attacks. Team Lloyd, playing without Dylan Lloyd (on safari in Iceland), was led by Jack Britton (10), Tommy Mannino (9), Ean Delahanty (7) Erik “Big Hands” Graham (6) and Steve Gribben (6). But that wasn’t enough to offset the output of Poccia (19), Brett Norman (10), Johnny “7/11” (because he is always open) Roslin (9) and Patrick Musselman (6).

TEAM GOLDSMITH BEATS TEAM COFFEY 41-39; COACH BENEDICT PILLORIED
June 21, 2011 - OCEANPORT (UPI) – Team Coffey dropped to 1-2 on the season as Team Goldsmith’s Coach, Jim Mahoney, totally outcoached Team Coffey’s John Benedict in the 4th quarter. Up by 14 with just over 7 minutes to play, Benedict’s suspect substitution patterns, questionable play-calling and clock mismanagement gave Team Goldsmith the edge as the Goldsmiths closed out the 4th quarter on an 14-0 run, winning the game 41-39. “Has this guy ever SEEN a basketball game?” asked Austin Paglia as he trudged off the court, “He kept on asking me how many innings were left and then he called a time out. And during the time out he told us we needed to put the ‘brown, bouncy thing in the round, orange hole’, I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. If Evan was here, he would have kicked him out of the gym.”

Team Coffey, playing without Evan Coffey (who is touring Italy with his Justin Bieber cover band “Dustbin Bieber”), was in control for most of the game as Paul Christopher (12) and Jeffrey Bonner (10) carried the load on offense, but Coach Mahoney’s 4th quarter defensive game plan was worked to perfection by Team Goldsmith as they held their opponents scoreless for the entire quarter. “Coach Mahoney was pretty emphatic about how we were going to play them in the 4th quarter,” explained Bobby “Double Double” Tomaino. “His exact words were ‘Do NOT let the other team put the big, brown, bouncy thingee in the round, orange hole that is attached to the glass thingee’, which, I have to admit, sounded kind of stupid, but it worked like a charm.” Tomaino led Team Goldsmith in scoring with 11. With the victory, Team Goldsmith moved to 2-1.

"ASSISTED LIVING" LEADS TO TEAM COFFEY'S 56-46 ROMP OVER TEAM PARRINO
OCEANPORT (June 16) - Team Parrino's SEVEN three pointers weren't enough to get them past an incredibly unselfish Team Coffey, which, at one point in the 3rd quarter led by 16 points. Team Coffey's big men, Alex Patton and Jeffrey "I'm In The Zone" Bonner, both of whom scored 10 points, were the beneficiaries of most of the 16 assists racked up by Evan Coffey (9), Paul Christopher (3) and Luke Dougherty (4) during the game. The first half ended with Team Coffey hanging on to a slim 18-16 lead, but in the third quarter Dougherty dished out his 4 assists and scored 6 points, while Patton and Bonner were scoring 6 points each. Patton even added an assist as Team Coffey pulled away at the close of the quarter. Only a barrage of three pointers from Marco Parrino (2 in the third) and Brett Norman (3 in the fourth) kept the score close. Angelo Serenelli also had 2 first half three pointers for the Parrinos. "I'm a big guy," said Patton about the incredible number of assists, "and I told the little guys on our team that if Jeffrey and I didn't see the ball more often, well, let's just say it wouldn't have made us happy." Coffey explained it very simply, "Alex is a big Teddy Bear. He had nothing to do with it. Actually, it was Jeffrey's birthday and we all knew that his mother had sprinkled donuts from Judicke's Bakery for us to eat after the game. Nobody likes sprinkled donuts more than me, Paul and Luke and we figured if Jeffrey had a big game we could glom some extra donuts off of Mrs. Bonner." It worked like a charm," said Dougherty, wiping sprinkles from his chin." In an attempt to justify why Team Parrino had zero assists during the game, Lucas Roffman said, "When you get right down to it, they were just hungrier than we were. We were playing for pride and they were playing for sprinkled donuts. How can we be expected to compete with that? I'm bringing fudge brownies next week."

TEAM POCCIA BEATS TEAM GOLDSMITH 42-42 AS CHRIS GLENN STARS IN OVERTIME
Oceanport (June 16) - John Poccia and Brandon Solomon combined for 29 points as Team Poccia overcame a 12 point 4th quarter deficit to beat Team Goldsmith 42-42 in the season's first overtime game. Poccia opened the game by scoring 11 of his team's first 12 points, but on the other end of the court Doug Goldsmith was scoring 8 of his team's first 10 points. The first quarter ended with Team Poccia winning 12-10, but their lead evaporated in the 2nd quarter as Team Goldsmith turned up the defensive intensity and held Team Poccia to a measly 4 points. Alex Johnson (4), Dante Montesinos (6) and Bobby Tomaino (4) scored all of Team Goldsmith's points in the 2nd quarter. In the third quarter, Doug Goldsmith went absolutely berserk, scoring 10 points while grabbing almost every rebound in sight. Kyle Moore's defense on John Poccia was the story of the third quarter, however, and an obviously frustrated Poccia was limited to one basket and two foul shots as Team Goldsmith moved ahead 36-24 going into the 4th quarter. The fourth quarter, however, belonged to the dynamic duo of Solomon and Poccia, who combined for 11 fourth quarter points, as they a keyed a furious rally that had the cheering crowd on its feet. Poccia drained shots from all over the court and Solomon tied the score at 38 each by way of a short jumper with mere seconds to go in the game. In the overtime, Dante Montesinos scored all four of Team Goldsmith's points, while Poccia and 6th grader Chris Glenn chipped in 2 each for Team Poccia. The 42-42 win moved Team Poccia to a record of 1 win, 0 losses and 1 tie. With the loss, Team Goldsmith dropped to 0 wins, 1 loss and 1 tie.

TOMMMY TRESHOCK THROWS BLOCK PARTY DURING TEAM LLOYD'S 36-30 WIN
OCEANPORT (June 16)- Tommy "The Human Eraser" Treshock blocked 7 shots in the first 9 minutes and had 9 blocks during the game, but it wasn't enough to stop Team Lloyd from posting a 36-30 win. Treshock's blocks, including a dandy two handed, volleyball-like stuff of Jack Britton, kept the high scoring Lloyds on their heels the entire game. Still, Team Lloyd's Erik Graham was unimpressed, "Blocks, schmlocks. The girls don't care about blocked shots. Girls dig guys who can shoot the basketball. Did I mention that I scored 10 points and led my team in scoring for the second week in a row? I didn't mention that? Well, now I did. Make sure you put that in your article, bub." Jack Britton, whose two three pointers late in the game effectively ended any hope of a comeback for Team Treshock, didn't score any points in the first half, but scored 10 in the second half. "I was tired of having my shots blocked back into my face when I drove, " said Britton, "so I figured if I shot from 30 feet out Treshock would leave me alone. Quite frankly, I think that his arms are abnormally long and that he should have to play with his hands in his pockets."

LOMAZZO LEADS TEAM TRESHOCK OVER TEAM COFFEY, 29-26
The 2011 Summer League Basketball season opened up with a real barn burner between Team Treshock and Team Coffey. After the firemen put out the fire at the barn, Team Treshock, led by 12 points from Casey Rogers and 7 points from Tom Treshock, narrowly edged out Team Coffey, 29-26, in what many considered the finest display of basketball defense since the '72-73 NY Knicks. Of course, many others considered it the worst display of offense since the '72-73 Philadelphia 76ers, but what do they know. Evan Coffey opened up the season by nailing a three pointer 10 seconds into the game. He performed a quick calculation and predicted he would score 96 points in the game. Unfortunately for him, he was playing against 8 of the finest defensive players to ever grace the court at Maple Place and he ended up with 8 points. Paul Christopher led Team Coffey with 9 points, all scored in the second half. Team Treshock's defensive specialist, Mike Jeliff, was quick to point out that Team Treshock wasn't worried about Coffey or Chrsitopher. Instead, they concentrated their efforts on stopping "Machine Gun" Matt Malley. Said Jelliff, "Coffey and Christopher are nice players and they are going to get their points, but the key to beating Team Coffey is to control Matt Malley. He's got the kind of offensive game that keeps coaches up at night. You never know when he's going to erupt for 40 or 50 points. I mean, I know it hasn't happened yet, but, in theory, it could happen. Really. It could happen. Don't tell me it isn't possible. Kirstie Alley made the finals of Dancing With The Stars." Team Coffey was hurt by the absence of power forward Jeffrey "That's MY Rebound" Bonner. Bonner didn't show up until a minute remained in the game. His father, Jeff Bonner, was heard asking, "When did they set the clocks ahead? Why do they keep doing that every year? No wonder I am so tired. The same thing happened to me when they switched from the Gregorian Calendar to the Julian Calendar. I can't keep track of this stuff." As a dejected Team Coffey trudged off the court, Austin Paglia, still visibly upset about the Bonner situation, complained, "Kirstie Alley was robbed."

NOTTE KEYS TEAM POCCIA'S 51-41 VICTORY OVER TEAM PARRINO
In the night's marquee matchup, Team Parrino squared off against Team Poccia in what promised to be a offensive showcase for the sharpshooting captains. Marco Parrino scored 28 of Team Parrino's 41 points, but it wasn't enough to overcome the balanced scoring attack of Team Poccia, as Team Parrino fell 51-41 to Team Poccia. John Poccia led Team Poccia with 18, while Brett Norman (12), Pat Musselman (6), Jeffrey Bonner (yes, that same Jeffrey Bonner, filling in for a missing Poccia player) (8), Johnny Roslin (3) and Chris Glenn (2) rounded out the scoring. John Amador had 6 points for Team Parrino. Poccia felt that the key to their win was that they tried new things on the court. "I read about this thing called defense and I told the other kids about it before the game. We tried it, and it really worked. We'll probably try that again next week. The other thing that we did was something that Coach Coffey kept referring to over the past few years. It is when you have the ball, but instead of shooting it at the basket, you throw it to another player and then they throw it to another player and then they throw it to another player and then you get a layup. He calls it "passing", I think. We're going to try that again, too." Team Parrino's Justin Costell, held scoreless for the first time this year, thought that the difference in the game was Jeffrey Bonner's dominance of the boards at both ends. "Somebody has to buy his dad a Smartphone," said Costell.

OLSEN DOMINATES IN TEAM LLOYD'S 54-40 WIN OVER TEAM GOLDSMITH
Kenny Wilhalme's contagious hustle, Erik Graham's first half offensive outburst (12 points) and Ean Delahanty's second half brilliance (11 points) carried Team Lloyd to a 54-40 victory over an undermanned Team Goldsmith. Dylan Lloyd was both impressed and confused by Erik Graham's first half heroics, saying. "That kid looks like Erik Graham, talks like Erik Graham, and walks like Erik Graham, but I've never seen Erik Graham play like that before. He was like another person out there. Do you think it has anything to do with the recent UFO sighting over Casa Comida and the big, green pods that I saw in the Graham's backyard last week?" Team Goldsmith, missing their captain, Doug Goldsmith, was simply ill-prepared to deal with Graham and Delahanty. "We stopped Graham cold in the second half, and then the Delahanty kid channeled Tiny Archibald", said Team Goldsmith's Connor Scesa, "and I don't even know who Tiny Archibald is!" The highlight of the second half was Kenny Wilhalme's bone-crunching dive on the hardwood as he pursued a loose ball. Noted Lloyd, "Kenny's hustle never ends. The way he dove after that ball was amazing. He had good extension, he timed it right and the noise that he made when he hit the floor was amazing! It was a beautiful dive. I can't believe that the Russian judge only gave him a 7.0." Luke Montesinos (9), Bobby Tomaino (8) and Ryan Jones led Team Goldsmith in scoring.

OBA DOES WELL AT MONMOUTH UNIVERSITY'S "DRIVE TO THE HOOP" 3 ON 3 TOURNAMENT
On Saturday, March 19, 2011, Monmouth University hosted "Drive to the Hoop", a 3-on-3 basketball tournament, in the University's Multipurpose Activity Center (MAC), benefiting Prevention First and Monmouth University Women's Basketball. This event is one of the largest 3-on-3 tournaments in New Jersey, with special appearances by professional athletes and entertainment by Monmouth University's finest. This is the only tournament that also benefits a non-profit, aiming to make a positive difference in the lives of children and families by supporting programs that prevent violence and substance abuse.

The Oceanport Basketball Association fared very well in the tournament, winning the Boys 14U division and coming in second in the Boys 12U division.

In the Boys 14U division, James Kelly, Kevin Bloodgood and Clayton Coffey (all OBA alumni) combined with Jack Laffey to run through their bracket without a loss. They defeated a West Long Branch based team (which had three OBA summer league alumni, Sammy Parrino, Marco Parrino and Justin Halper) by a score of 21-8 in the finals.

In the Boys 12U division, Oceanport Basketball Association players John Poccia, Evan Coffey and Luke Dougherty lost their first round game (this was a double elimination tournament) and then stormed through the rest of their games to make it to the finals against a squad from Colts Neck. In the closest finals game of the day, Colts Neck squeaked out a 16-14 win over the boys from OBA.

2011 SHORE AREA BOY'S REC CHAMPIONSHIP
May 23, 2011 HEAT DEFEAT MAGIC FOR CHAMPIONSHIP 52-51

Chris Mackenrodt 18 POINTS refused to let the Heat lose. He scored all the Heat points in the 4th quarter.The HEAT WITHSTOOD THE MAGIC CLOSING RUSH. THE HEAT DEFENSE PREVENTED THE MAGIC FROM GETTING OFF A FINAL SHOT

MAGIC HAD DEFEATED THE HEAT TWICE IN THE REGULAR SEASON. THIS TIME IT WAS THE HEAT'S TURN.

WE WISH TO THANK ALL OF THE PLAYERS. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS TO ALL OF THE GRADUATING SENIORS. ALL UNDERCLASSMEN, HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN NEXT YEAR!

KINGHTS U8 BOYS BEAT POINT PLEASANT 30-4 IN MID-MONMOUTH PLAY
Jim Reid's U8 Oceanport Knights opened their 2010-2011 Mid-Monmouth season with a 30-4 victory over Point Pleasant before a packed house at Maple Place on Sunday.

OCEANPORT SPORTS FOUNDATION CHARITY EVENT PICTURES IN PHOTO ALBUM!
If you would like to see some pictures from this year's Oceanport Sports Foundation's 2010 Food and Wine Tasting Gala, please click on the "OBA Photo Albums" tab in the menu on the left side of the screen. If you have any pictures from the event that you would like added to the photo album, please send them to us at obahoops@att.net!

OCEANPORT SPORTS FOUNDATION'S CHARITY WINE AND FOOD TASTING A BIG SUCCESS!
The Oceanport Sports Foundation's 2nd Annual Holiday Food and Wine Tasting Charity Event was held on December 2, 2010 at Branches Catering and, with over 425 patrons in attendance and over $20,000.00 raised, it was an unqualified success. Building upon the OSF's 2007 and 2008 Charity Polo Matches at Maria Gatta Park and its 2009 Holiday Food and Wine Tasting Charity Event, this year's gala was a spectacular melding of Oceanport's holiday, community and charitable spirits. The culinary samplings prepared by chefs from Tuzzio's, Scala's, The Raven and the Peach, Tavolo, Piancone's, Branches Catering, Piccola Italia, Rats Restaurant, Zoe Bistro, The Lusty Lobster, Simply Dish, Brandl, The Draft House, Drew's Bayshore Bistro, Pazzo, Healthfair Natural & Organic Market, the Culinary Education Center of Monmouth County, Isatella Food Products, Wenning & Sons and the Red Bank Regional's Culinary Program were as varied and plentiful as they were delicious. "The food at this event is of this world," said Monmouth Beach resident Kelly Treshock, "and I don't think I sampled half of what they offered. My husband and I don't get out much, but this is one event that we have etched in stone on our calendar every year."

A tantalizing array of deserts were provided by LaRosa's Bakery (Cannolis), Cake Bake and Roll (vanilla and chocolate cupcakes), Branches Catering (chocolate covered fruit from a Chocolate Fountain) and Chelsea House Senior Living (cheesecake lollipops), all of which were accompanied by gourmet latte's and other exotic offerings from Kobrick's Coffee (and its resident artiste/barista extraordinaire, who did things with frothed milk and coffee foam that have to be seen to be believed). Samples of local wines and special beers, both imported and domestic, were also available for tasting throughout the evening.

Oceanport resident Mike MacStudy (pictured at left with his lovely wife, Molly) loved the mix of people and the flow of the rooms, "There were people at this event that I haven't seen in years. There is no other local event that draws so many people with such a cross section of people of all ages like this one does. And the fact that there are only hi-top tables and no seats means that you're almost forced to mingle and meet people as you sample the food. It is an absolutely fantastic event. My wife and I try to get to 3 or 4 charity events a week, even if we're not invited, and this one is by far the best." Jeffrey Bonner of Monmouth Beach (by way of Watchung) said, "Where else can I eat and drink to my heart's content with 400 of my friends for $50.00 and support a really worthy cause? This OSF event is a one-of-a kind party and the best part is that you don't have to help clean up when it is over!"

Tom Schiavone, Vice-President of the Oceanport Sports Foundation and the event's main organizer, was humbled by the generosity of those who attended the event. "This is our most successful fundraiser ever. We raised over $20,000.00 for improvements to the Borough of Oceanport's athletic fields and facilities at this event and the children of Oceanport, Monmouth Beach and Sea Bright who participate in Oceanport's soccer, baseball, basketball, hockey and other youth sports programs will be the direct beneficiaries of the incredible outpouring of support from those who attended."

Past OSF fundraisers, have allowed for the OSF to issue grants resulting in, among other things, the purchase and installation of new scoreboards in the Maple Place gym, the resurfacing of the Maple Place gym, the construction of a new outdoor basketball court at the Oceanport Community Center, the rehabilitation of the soccer fields at Maria Gatta Park, the purchase and installation of water fountains at the Oceanport Community Center and Blackberry Bay Park, the reconstruction of the Oceanport Roller Hockey rink, new soccer goals at Blackberry Bay Park, the purchase and installation of safety mats in the Maple Place gym and new baseball dugouts at the Oceanport Community Center. The OSF board is hoping to use a portion of this year's funds to fund the rehabilitation of the basketball court at Blackberry Bay Park.

The Oceanport Sports Foundation wants to remind its patrons that the continued success of this event is dependent upon the participation of the food vendors. As such, when you dine out, the OSF asks that you make every effort to visit the restaurants that provided so many culinary delights at this year's event and that you make an effort to tell management that you sampled their fabulous food at the Oceanport Sports Foundation's 2010 charity event.

The Oceanport Sports Foundation's 3rd Annual Holiday Food and Wine Tasting Charity Event has been scheduled for Thursday, December 1, 2011 (the OSF is hoping to make the first Thursday in December Oceanport's official holiday!) at Branches Catering in West Long Branch. Pictures from this year's event can bee seen at www.leaguelineup.com/oba and if you (a) have any suggestions or comments on how the OSF can make your experience at next year's event even better or (b) would like to participate as a vendor, sponsor or donor at next year's event, please e-mail the Oceanport Sports Foundation at OSF501C3@att.net.

MIKE DEUSCH & GEOFF BRIGNOLA WIN BIKES AT KNIGHTS TIP-OFF PARTY!
Geoff Brignola and Mike Deusch were the big winners at the Oceanport Basketball Association's 19th Annual Tip-Off Fundraiser. "This is a dream come true for both of us," said Mike, as he carefully planned where he was going to install a bell on his bike's handlebars, "We were really hoping and praying that one of us would win one of the bikes. We had already agreed that we would share a bike if one of us won one. I am also happy that my bike has the type of bar that slopes down because that makes it easy for me to get on and off. One of the mean boys, Al DeSantis, said it was a girl's bike, but he's just jealous." Geoff Brignola, ecstatic at the prospect that Mike and he would be able to ride together to the malt shoppe, tanning salon, pizza parlor and beach on their own bikes, gushed, "I still have goosebumps. I can't believe that we both won a bike. Now I don't have to ride on Mike's handlebars ever again. And I know that my family will be very proud of me when I take off the training wheels and ride solo for the first time. Very proud, indeed. And I have to tell you, all the other guys are going to be really, really impressed by the fact that my bike is red like a fire engine! This is the most neato, keen prize EVER!" When last seen, Mike and Geoff had installed matching silver and black tassles in their handlebars and were doing wheelies together in the Channel Club parking lot. (Scroll Down for more photos of the Knights Tip-Off Party)

KNIGHTS TIP-OFF FUNDRAISER HIGHLIGHTS

COACH RED AUERBACH AND ASSISTANT COACH PAT RILEY

Guest Speakers Pam Ruoff and Kim Britton pior to their speech about the mechanics of the 1-3-1 Zone Press

Mark Hampton at his first Tip-Off party in 19 years!

Corky Mastria, Dave Kelly and Tom Galvin (missing from photo: Dr. James Naismith) reminiscing about how hard it was to shoot into peach baskets while wearing really short shorts and high socks

Tim "Mr. Monmouth Beach Basketball" Britton

Tiffany Bracelet Winner Tom Galvin Attempting to Coerce Jets Ticket Winner Cy Galvin into Swapping Prizes

Allyson Reid and Patty Gordinier discussing the merits of the 2-3 defense

Jen Pilari - Secret Government Witness

Jen and Joe Pillari Basking in the Glow of Each Other

Future OBA President, Jim Reid, and 2010 Lawrence Boresen Award Winner Joe Pillari

Tiffany Graham Avoids the Papparazzi

Oceanport's Fraternal, Siamese Twin Basketball Groupies

Rob Proto (center) and two women who are completely out of his league

Terry and Josephine Miller

MAGIC DEFEAT THUNDER 61-40 TO TAKE SHORE REGIONAL HIGH SCHOOL REC BASKETBALL TITLE
A red hot shooting display by the Magic in the first and second quarters of their championship game against the Thunder proved to be the difference in the Magic's 60-41 victory over the ice cold Thunder. The Magic raced out to a 33-5 lead in the first half and never looked back. Avoiding the lane as if it was laced with Smallpox, the Magic launched and made one long range jumpshot after another over the stunned Thunder. Despite shooting close to 70% from the field in the first half, the Magic were able to avoid accumulating any assists for the seventh consecutive game. As you will see in the picture below, the Magic were so hot that the shirtsleeves of 6 of the Magic players actually burned off.

SHORE REGIONAL REC BASKETBALL CHAMPIONS REFUSE TO SMILE!
Members of the Shore Magic, 2010's Shore Regional High School Rec League Basketball Champion, posed for this picture after defeating the Thunder 61-40 in the Championship Game at Shore Regional High School. Team members refused to smile for the picture in protest over the league's refusal to install a 4 and 5 point line. As one Magic player noted, "Shooting 3's is so 1990's. It is time for the league to recognize the 4 and 5 point shots. In fact, if it were up to us, we'd completely ban shots from inside 25 feet." Commissioner Tom Galvin refused to comment other than to say, "In my day, we didn't even have a three point line. Of course, in my day we wore teeny, tiny shorts and our socks were pulled all the way up to our knees."

ROBIN KELLY LEADS BLUE TEAM TO 29-23 VICTORY OVER RED TEAM IN COACH'S CLASSIC AT MAPLE PLACE!
Robin Kelly, playing like a young John Stockton but with a better haircut and much longer pants, directed the Blue Team's offensive attack as if the game of basketball was invented with only her in mind, as her Blue squad demolished the aging, blundering and confused Red Team 29-23 in the 2010 Coach's Classic at Maple Place. Notwithstanding the fact that Robin was burdened with teammates as offensively challenged as R.J. Bates, Chris Paglia, Joe Irace and Fred Santi, the Blue Team charged out to a quick first quarter lead behind Robin's pinpoint passing, sure shooting and deft dribbling and they never looked back. "I don't know which is better," said her teammate Chris Paglia, "her bouncepasses or her banana bread. Either way, you can't go wrong. What a fabulous player. I was shocked that someone from the Kelly family could actually pass like that until somebody reminded me that Falcetano (which, in Italian, means "she who can pass the rock") is her maiden name and that she is only a Kelly by way of marriage."

The Red Team's Jay Coffey knew that his squad was in for a long day even before the game started. "When Robin started to get the crowd pumped by dunking during the warmups, I knew that we'd have to play a perfect game to beat them." Far from playing a perfect game, Coffey teamed with Mike O'Neill, Kevin Kelly, Craig Farrell and Kenny Wilhalme to put on the most underhwelming basketball performance in the history of the sport. During the 3rd quarter, a child was heard to say loudly, "Mommy, please make the people in the red shirts stop playing basketball. They stink so bad that it makes my head ache." Upon hearing the youngster's complaint, Coffey could only look down and say, "It hurts so much to hear your own son say something like that."

While Robin Kelly's contributions led to her being named the game's MVP, her teammates were no slouches when it came to awards. In fact, Chris Paglia was named as Player With The Best Posture, Joe Irace was voted Miss Congeniality and both R.J. Bates and Fred Santi were recognized for not getting hurt during the game. Paglia, upon being presented with his award for having the best posture, refused to brag, saying only, "I don't like to toot my own horn because, well, quite frankly, like most people, I don't have a horn."

The Red Team, which played the game under protest because Fred Santi refused to remove his diamiond belly button pendant, left the court brokenhearted, slump-shouldered, beaten down by life and without any semblance of pride. Of course, that is also how they came onto the court, so nobody really noticed the difference.