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23RD ANNUAL KNIGHTS TIP-OFF DINNER SCHEDULED FOR THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23RD!
The 23rd Annual Oceanport Knights Tip-Off Dinner, the program's only fundraising event, will take place on Thursday, October 23, 2014 from 6:30 pm to 10:00 pm at the Channel Club in Monmouth Beach. This is the Knights' program's only fundraiser. Tickets to the event are $50.00 each, BUT each Knights player gets two tickets as part of the registration fee. The event includes a 2 hour open bar, hors d'ouevres, dinner, music/dancing, auctions/prizes and incredibly boring speeches. Past events have resulted in Geoff Brignola and Mike Deusch riding around the Channel Club on beach cruiser bikes, MaryAlyce Turner singing all of the songs from Man of LaMancha during dinner and Jim Murphy reprising his solo Irish Step Dancing routine from when he took over from Michael Flatley as the headliner in the "Lord of The Dance" road show from 1995 through 1999. For an idea as to how much fun the evening is, this is what happened at the 2012 event:
HEATHER COLES WINS BIG PRIZE AT KNIGHTS FUNDRAISER BUT IS SNUBBED BY INCOMPETENT EMCEE AT 2012 KNIGHTS TIP-OFF DINNER!
Heather Coles, Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team, went home with a basket full of valuable prizes, but that didn't overcome the trauma inflicted upon her by the incompetent emcee of the event, Wink Martindale, who neglected to mention her name when introducing the Knights' coaches to the audience during Thursday's Knights' fundraiser dinner at the Channel Club. Coles, who is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team, is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team. The Senior Girls' team is coached by Dave LaPorta and his Assistant Coach is Heather Coles, the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team. Heather, who some of you may know as the Assistant Coach of the Knights' Senior Girls' team, won a basket of edible goods from Sickles Farm, but, as the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team, was a bit miffed when Martindale did not mention that she is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team. Coles, who is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team, was disgruntled at Martindale's omission. "He's really getting up there in age," said Coles, who is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls team, "You'd think that Knights would provide him with cue cards or something so that he doesn't forget to mention people. You wouldn't believe how disgruntled I am. And I was very gruntled before I got here." Martindale was unavailable for comment.
Other than that horrific gaffe, the event went off without a hitch, aside from the savage wolverine and grizzly bear attacks that left several people wounded. Trish MacGregor, who seemingly had the winning ticket for every other prize, was thrilled with how the evening progressed. "I had a fabulous time winning all the prizes that everybody else wanted to win," Trish gushed as she cleared room on her table for more prizes, "They kept calling the numbers and I kept winning and winning. And to think that Stuart and I only bought five tickets to put in the bags! What an evening!"
Mark "Bone" Hampton, Very Senior Assistant Coach of the Senior Boys, was especially thrilled with the 2012 Knights' fundraiser. "At my age, I don't get out much anymore," offered an obviously exhausted Hampton, "but the day of the Knights' fundraiser is the one time a year that I make sure to double up on my Geritol intake so that I can stay up past my usual bedtime. By the way, who is the assistant coach of the Senior Girls' team?"
Nicole Goldsmith, the official 2012 Knights' Photographer, couldn't believe how much fun she was having. "I can't believe how much fun I'm having," said Goldsmith. She was also excited that she had been selected as the 2012 Knights' Photographer. "I am also excited that I have been selected as the 2012 Knights' Photographer," said Goldsmith. Nicole thought that great food and fantastic company made this a night to remember. "You know," Nicole offered, "the great food and fantastic company has made this a night to remember." When told to stop repeating everything that we were writing, Goldsmith said, "I know you are, but what am I?"
MaryAlyce Turner, the former Oceanport Soccer Association Cover Girl whose first name causes Spellcheck to go berserk, was a bit disappointed in the evening, however, and she voiced her displeasure by wrestling the microphone away from the emcee and screaming, "Why isn't anybody dancing? We need to get up and boogie! Why isn't anybody shaking their groove things! Whatsamatta with you people? Who wants to do the Macarena with me? Does anybody remember laughter?" Luckily, she was forcibly escorted back to her table before she was able to start any line dances.
Even without MaryAlyce dancing the Macarena, and even though Chris Paglia failed to perform his interpretive dance solo "Summer Breeze Adagio" for the fourth consecutive year, the 2012 Knights Fundraiser was a smashing success in that over $2500.00 was raised for the travel basketball program. And, by the way, Heather Coles is the Assistant Coach of the Senior Girls' team.
HEATHER COLES, ASSISTANT COACH, WITH HER WINNING BASKET! MORE PICTURES ON OBA'S FACEBOOK PAGE!
FALL AND WINTER KNIGHTS TEAM HAVE BEEN SELECTED! REGISTRATION FORMS NEEDED ASAP.
Congratulations to those who have made the 2014-2015 Knights Basketball teams. Rosters for the five fall teams have been updated on this website. Rosters for the winter teams will be updated by October 10th. Practice schedules have been finalized and uploaded to this website. Knights players and parents have to submit the following forms to be eligible to practice and play:
1. OBA Registration Form (click HERE for the form)
2. Mid-Monmouth Registration Form (click HERE for the form)
3. Parent/Coach Communication Protocols (click HERE for form)
REMINDER REGARDING SPORTS SPECS/GLASSES
As of July 11, 2006, the laws of the State of New Jersey require that participants in youth sports who wear eyeglasses must now wear PROTECTIVE SPORTS GLASSES while playing sports. Your child will NOT be permitted to participate in any game or practice while wearing non-protective sports glasses.
This is the actual body of the law:
BE IT ENACTED by the Senate and General Assembly of the State of New Jersey:
C.5:18-1 Protective eyewear for certain children participating in sports.
1. Any child who wears corrective eyeglasses while participating in racquetball, squash,tennis, women's lacrosse, basketball, women's field hockey, badminton, paddleball, soccer,volleyball, baseball or softball, sponsored by a school, community or government agency, shallbe required to wear protective eyewear that meets the frames standards of the American Societyfor Testing and Materials (ASTM) F803 and lens standards of the American National StandardsInstitute (ANSI) Z87.1.C.5:18-2 Grants to assist low-income families.
2. The New Jersey Council on Physical Fitness and Sports, established under P.L.1999,c.265 (C.26:1A-37.5 et seq.) is authorized to provide grants to assist low-income families inpurchasing the protective eyewear. As used in this section, a "low-income family" means afamily which qualifies for low-income housing under the standards promulgated by the Councilon Affordable Housing pursuant to the "Fair Housing Act," P.L.1985, c.222 (C.52:27D-301 etal.).C.5:18-3 Immunity from civil liability.
3. No school, community or government agency engaged in organizing, teaching, refereeingor coaching a sports activity described in section 1 of this act shall be liable in a civil action forfailure to administer or enforce the provisions of this act.4. This act shall take effect six months after the date of enactment.Approved January 11, 2006.
DEERIN DUNKS & TRESHOCK SCORES TWICE AS SRHS BLUE DEVILS EDGE MANVILLE IN STATE TOURNEY!
You know you're a REAL fan of the Shore Regional High School Boys' Basketball team if you looked at the headline above and said, "Yeah, right. Next we'll find out that Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster washed up on a beach in Sea Bright after crashing into a UFO filled with unicorns." Well, you better get down to the beach at Sea Bright right away to beat the crowds, because Billy "Dr. Dunkenstein" Deerin brought the Shore Regional High School crowd to its feet with a resounding one-handed dunk in the Blue Devil's win over Manville in the first round of the Group 1, State Championships. Deerin's dunk came off of his own steal and, as he raced down court ahead of the Manville defense, everybody in the building was thinking the same thing when he cradled the ball in his right hand and rose towards the rafters: "If he blows this dunk, we'll be talking about it for the rest of our lives." But it is Billy Deerin who will be doing the talking and he started right after the game. "I call that my 'You Better Bring The Peanut Butter, Because I've Got The Jam' jam," said Deerin as he autographed kids' sneakers with a sharpie after the game whether they wanted him to or not. Said one of the kids, "Mommy, some man in a basketball uniform just wrote on my sneakers even though I told him not to!" Deerin, who was later seen showing Dan Largey how to properly hold onto a ball when attempting a breakaway dunk, was characteristically humble about the Blue Devils' one and only dunk of the 2013-2014 season, quietly stating, "When you jump as high as I do, all the other guys on the team want to know what it's like to be up there so high, and whether or not the air is colder that much above the rim, or whether or not I can see their house from up there. I make sure to answer all their questions before we leave the gym. Oh, and before I leave the gym, I dust the top of the backboards."
As incredible and inspiring a physical feat as Deerin's dunk was, Tommy Treshock's two baskets in the fourth quarter defied both the odds and most of the known laws of physics. Stephen Hawking, the renowned theoretical physicist and Las Vegas oddsmaker, had calculated that the odds of Treshock scoring two baskets in one quarter were less likely than the NY Knicks finding a competent point guard, and, after an intensive study of the trajectory of Treshock's shots from the field, predicted that NASA would be using wormholes for intergalactic transportation before Treshock would be able to successfully sink two baskets in the same game. Well, now that Treshock has stormed the hoops for two baskets within the space of four minutes against Manville, the Knicks can look forward to decades of stellar point guard play and NASA can expect additional cuts in funding. Point Guard Alex Mango, a junior from West Long Branch who led the nation in 3 point field goal shooting percentage this year (see story below), was on the court for both of Treshock's baskets (assisting on the second) and he thinks that life, as we know it, changed as the second shot went through the hoop. "I was looking up as he took that second shot and, just as the ball passed over the rim, I heard a trumpet blare and noticed that there were pigs flying outside gym." Treshock's second successful shot, which ended any chance that Manville had at staging a fourth quarter comeback, started with a hard drive to the hoop off of an entry pass from Mango and culminated in a left handed layup. This is believed to be the only instance in the history of the English language that the words "Treshock", "successful" and "left handed layup" have been used in the same sentence, although historians note that there is an obscure 6th century B.C. cuneiform tablet that, loosely translated, references those same words being used together as a sign of the Apocalypse.
Treshock and Deerin will lead the Blue Devils into battle against Keyport High School on Wednesday, March 5, 2014 at 6:00 pm at Shore Regional High School in the second round of the state playoffs.
BLUE DEVILS' ALEX MANGO AND EVAN COFFEY END SEASON WITH NATION'S TOP 3 POINT SHOOTING PERCENTAGES
February 24, 2014
Hats off to Shore Regional High School basketball players Alex Mango and Evan Coffey, both of whom finished their seasons in a tie for the highest three point shooting percentage in the NATION on the varsity level. Mango, a junior, and Coffey, a sophomore who was also the leading sophomore scorer for the varsity Blue Devils this season (scoring three times more points than any other second year player), were not expected to be among the shore conference's leaders in shooting when the season started, never mind the entire nation. With long range sharpshooters like Dan Largey, Kevin Bloodgood, Dan Pillari, Jack Byrne and Tommy Treshock on the team, most high school basketball experts would have been hard pressed to predict that Mango and Coffey would be leading the nation in three point shooting percentage at season's end. "Let's face it," said Pillari, "these two guys have mad skills and they both eat, sleep and breathe the long ball, but to lead the entire nation in three point shooting percentage is something that most kids don't even bother dreaming about because it's just too extreme. And to have TWO guys on the same team do it is just mind boggling." "Have you ever had your mind boggled?" asked Junior power forward Billy Deerin, "Because until I heard about what Mango and Coffey did, I had never had my mind boggled. But it's boggled now, baby. Believe me, it's boggled, man."
Mango, who worked tirelessly on his long range shooting over the summer to compliment his silky smooth sky hook and assortment of power post up moves, knew that he had to expand his game if he wanted to see the court this year. "My game was getting a bit stale and I was getting a bit predictable in that most of my possessions last year were low post power moves designed to get me to the hoop for a dunk or jump hook," said Mango, "The other teams scouted me and started to anticipate my moves. I knew that I had to broaden my game and once I started nailing the three consistently, things just kind of mushroomed. I try to encourage my teammates to shoot the three like me more often, but they all like to pass so much and they seem to be so afraid to shoot from beyond the arc --- especially Pillari, Largey and Bloodgood --- that it was really all on my shoulders to get us going from long range." Junior guard James Kelly was effusive in his praise of Mango, gushing, "We started calling Mango "Halogen", because he always lights it up. Well, actually, nobody else calls him that except for me. It's something that I made up, but kept to myself because I didn't know if anybody else would get it. You know what a halogen lightbulb is,right? And that it's brighter than a regular lightbulb, right? Now that I think of it, maybe you shouldn't put the "Halogen" thing in your article."
Coffey, who combined with Largey and Pillari for 52 points in the Blue Devils' game against Raritan, was happy that he led the nation in three point shooting percentage with Mango, but thinks that even better days are on the horizon for the two of them. "Word on the street is that they are going to institute a four point line next season in high school basketball," said Coffey, "and that's going to make Mango and me even more dangerous because we've got the range of a bar-tailed godwit." Senior guard, man about town and ornithologically inclined Matt Cosentino agreed, saying, "The bar-tailed godwit is an Alaskan wading bird that can fly over 7,000 miles non-stop. Most people think the albatross can fly the longest without stopping, but that simply isn't true." Junior forward Dan Largey was also incredibly impressed, commenting, "Evan Coffey is a 'shoot first and ask questions later' type of ballplayer. He is also really, really good at math because he once explained to me that 100% percent of the shots you don't take will not go in. Isn't that amazing? A mathematical theorem that promotes and justifies the constant, unrestrained shooting of a basketball. He should get a Nobel Prize for that, but he won't because he's only a sophomore and the Nobel people only give the awards to upperclassmen, like the Heisman Trophy before Herschel Walker. Matty Cos will probably win one, though, for all the stuff he knows about migratory birds."
Mango and Coffey will be honored for their achievements this week by having an ice cream flavor named after them by Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Company. As one would expect, this eponymous ice cream flavor will be called "Alex and Evan".
FORMER KNIGHTS STAR TOMMY TRESHOCK INCHES CLOSER TO ALL TIME HIGH SCHOOL CAREER SCORING MARK!
February 1, 2014
Former Oceanport Knight big man Tommy Treshock moved just a bit closer to Dujuan Wagner's New Jersey high school career scoring record of 3,462 points last night in Shore Regional's victory over St. John Vianney. Those in attendance found it impossible to take their eyes off of Treshock while he was on the court and his late game heroics versus SJV brought the crowd to its feet. Treshock, who now leads all Shore Regional sophmores in scoring on the varisty level by over 100%, continues to be an inspiration to his teammates. "Everybody looks up to Tommy," said Junior guard James Kelly, "mostly because he's the tallest guy on the team." Treshock, who many thought was too musclebound to be an effective basketball player on the high school level, was just too much for an outmanned, but game, St. John Vianney squad. As shown in the video below, Treshock's continued assault on Wagner's state record and his "icewater in his veins" approach to late game, pressure foul shots has turned his teammates into his biggest fans. "To be there in person watching Tommy nail that second foul shot so calmly while everyone around him had their hearts in their throats," "gushed senior guard Daniel Pillari, "might be the single greatest moment of my high school career. I mean, really, c'mon, how does he stay so calm in a tight spot like that?"
TRESHOCK'S FREE THROW SEALS BLUE DEVILS' WIN OVER ST. JOHN VIANNEY
"We don't call him 'Gravy' for nothing", offered Junior forward Billy Deerin, "he's just that smooth on the court. Smooth as gravy." Treshock, one of the most humble athletes you'll ever meet, was matter of fact about his late game legerdemain, stating, "The reason that the basket has a hole in it is because you are supposed to put the ball through it. I just did what I am supposed to do, nothing more. I just happpen to do what I am supposed to do more often than most other people do. LOB, baby! LOB!" Clayton Coffey, a Senior guard for Shore Regional, thinks that Treshock is the key to the Blue Devils' season. "Remember the NY Knicks and 'Linsanity'?" asked Coffey, "Well, as you can see by the way the crowd explodes every time he scores a basket --- and, Great Odin's Ghost, that was just a free throw --- , people here at the Jersey Shore have 'GravyMania'. And GravyMania is highly contagious."
Treshock will continue his quest for the scoring record when the Blue Devils go up against Holmdel on Saturday, February 2, 2014 at 2:30 pm at Shore Regional High School.
2014 OBA REC BASKETBALL RULES - REVISED AS OF 1-25-14
January 26, 2013
Due to the fact that we are combining with the West Long Branch Basketball Association for the 2014 rec basketball season, our rules have been modified and differ a bit from years past. These rules will be in effect for the entire 2014 rec basketball season. Click HERE for a copy of the rules for all three divisions as amended on 1/25/14.
NO REC PRACTICES IF SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED!
Rec practices are ALWAYS cancelled in the event of an early dismissal, school closure or scheduled holiday.
MEN'S 35 AND OVER REC BASKETBALL PLAYED ON SUNDAYS 8:00 to 10:00 AM
Men's 35 and Older recreation basketball pick up games at Maple Place School are open to all Oceanport residents 35 and older on Sundays from 8:00 am to 10:00 am. Out of shape has beens and never wuzzes who live in Oceanport and who are at least 35 years of age are invited to play something that resembles basketball, except that it is played in very, very slow motion. Schoolyard rules (call your own fouls, all shots count as 1 point, losers sit, John Feiter is never wrong) apply.