Gabe's New Year Power Rankings - DII

January 20, 2018


Since the last episode of the power rankings ODIN still remains the top dogs. They haven’t lost in regulation since 10/25 but they have received three losses in the shootout. Really if you’re looking to take points away from them, the shootout is your best bet. These guys haven’t lost in regulation since October. The shootout could I guess be considered their “weakness” but it doesn’t matter when you’re only there once every four games, especially when you win the other three out of four games in regulation. ODIN is still firing on all cylinders and I believe they’ll stay at number 1 through the end of the season.


The Phantoms are tied for second with two games in hand on everyone but the Biohazards (but right now they don’t seem like a threat for second). They boast the lowest goals against with 39 and they’re one of the three lucky teams to have beaten Team ODIN in a shootout. In a seven-way tie for 18th in scoring is their lead point getter Nick Meade with 14 points (8g, 6a). While he’s not setting the world on fire, he is providing a reliable scoring punch for a team that mostly relies on its defense.


Wow, the S in SHIce must stand for Streaky. They hit a cold streak with four losses in a row followed by a hot streak of three wins in a row, then two losses and most recently two wins. Despite the negative win loss ratio (from these streaks) they find themselves in 4th place. They can attribute this to their ability to win in regulation as opposed to going to the shootout. With the second most goals for it is no surprise that the team can win games in regulation, what’s surprising is that the offense almost non-existent some nights. They beat a team 11-3 and then put up 13 goals in the next 3 games combined. If they want to make an impact they have to stay out of the box and play with some consistency on O.


Two forfeits don’t make a team bad; however, the standings don’t care about skill. The standings only care about numbers. Since the beginning of the season this team has been about 50/50. With those two forfeit losses they’re one under—without, one over. Their 65 goals are about on par with the rest of the league. Their leading scorer Chris Pallante has been involved with about a third of those goals but has only played in 7 of their games… he also holds the 7 spot in scoring… oh and also this team has 7 wins currently. Sign of better things to come?

The Moose

2nd place in the standings might get you a better match-up in the playoffs, but erase their two forfeit wins and they have 20 total points which is less than the Flames. Besides their league low penalty minutes, these guys haven’t really done anything to prove that they’re second place material anyway. They have more goals against than for, and without the forfeit wins they would have more losses than wins. But I gotta admit… the jerseys are dope.


This group has gone exactly .500 in wins and losses, however, that’s not going to make much noise in this league. The reason I put them higher than Green Brook is because they’ve won a game since the calendar turned to 2018. They also have 7 more goals in one less game. To top it off their MVP Larry St. Denis has one more total point than Green Brooks’ top scorer. I can’t say for certain, but I imagine penalty minutes are the reason this team is so low in the standings.

Green Brook Berets

If Green Brook had kept up a 50/50 pace after their three win streak to start the season they’d probably be in second. But they took their early season success and traded it in for a plane slowly spiraling into a nosedive. Defense is still their strong suit… when they win, of their six regulation losses, half of them have been games where they allow at least eight goals (two of those games against teams below them in the standings). They currently are riding a three game losing streak and really need to pick it up lest they drop lower in the standings and power rankings. Zach Ulloa has been their All-Star (as always) but he can’t do it alone.


Oh my goodness, after scorekeeping for so long and having to write Rink Rats penalties for so long it looks like penalty minutes are finally getting in the way of the Reapers winning games. They’ve had three separate streaks this season, two extended losing streaks, and one two game winning streak. That certainly isn’t the way to climb the standings. With all joking aside the Reapers have had some tough luck. They’ve been able to stay in most games with the occasional 4+ goal defeat, but everyone knows they’re a tough team to play against. This is evidenced by Hugo Beja and Gary Nigro leading the league in scoring with 33 and 26 points respectively. But they’ve also let up more goals than any other team, in fact, they’ve let up more goals than ODIN and the Phantoms combined… only by one, but still! C’mon guys!

Blue Tribe


Throughout the season these guys have been pretty disappointing, they ended one losing streak just to get on a longer one. HOWEVER, in their last 4 games they’ve earned 7 of a possible 12 points. Is this team finding their groove right before the playoffs?? In all 3 of those games they’ve kept their opposition to 4 goals or less. Now that they’ve found a winning formula, maybe they can ride their defense to a championship. But, of course, they’ll be taking the toughest road there.

Gabe's Jolly Power Rankings - Division III

December 6, 2017

As December comes in to full swing, so do the second D3 Power Rankings! Enjoy!




The Storm are still the cream of the crop, the king of the hill, the pig among guinea pigs. However you want to say it, the Storm are dominating Division 3. Since the season started they have not taken their foot off the gas. They have the second most goals for of all teams but they don't have a single player in the top 15 point scorers. What that means is ALL of their players are capable of producing points. Watch out D3, these guys look like they're on a crash course for the championship.


Puck Pimps

So last time I gave these guys a little too much credit. I put them second in the Power Rankings thinking they’d take the first place spot by this version of the Power Rankings. While they didn’t live up to those expectations, their offensive firepower is by far the most deadly. They lead the league with 72 goals. The next closest are the Storm with 58 goals. Not exactly a contest, especially considering the Puck Pimps have one less game played. The reason they still sit at in the Power Rankings is because of their record against the actual second place team Ooff! is a perfect 2-0.


Ooff! jumped up from 6 in the last Power Rankings to 3 in this Power Rankings, maybe the last ones were too early in the season to be able to rank this team accurately because with 12 games now under their belt they are now in second place. While there is no real contest for first place right now, Ooff! will be fighting to hold on to second place as teams are nipping at their skate blades to take their place. While Ooff! is tied for third in goals for, they have the fourth most goals against. They are hoping Milton Solis can keep the points coming as he is tied for second most in the league and of course their leading point scorer. 


The Pterodactyls are in an interesting position. Only a point behind the Puck Pimps with a game in hand and 3 points behind the second place Ooff! with 2 games in hand. Really they control their own fate. They sit tied with Ooff! in goals scored, but the cool thing is that every player on the team (including goalie Jeff Leidner) has scored at least one point. With a game coming up against the lower placed Admirals they could make the jump to second, however, with the following game being against a tough Archers team they could fall right back down. It’ll be interesting to see the standings by the end of December.



The Archers are a tough bunch to pencil. They’ve beaten and lost to teams above them, and they’ve beaten and lost to teams below them in the standings. Captain Jason Fischbach remains as one of the league leaders in points and also leads the team, but the main problem they’re seeing is their lack of consistency. The Archers have yet to win more than two games in a row. That could change though with their next game against the Puck Pimps who they just defeated in their last game. This win would give them a nice jump in the standings but more importantly, it’d create some more separation between them and the teams below them. As we enter the second half of the season, let’s see which half of the standings the Archer’s end up in.





Vudoo are in a similar position as Ooff! without the prestige of second place. They have the ability to move up and have shown they can hang with the top guns, even though they have lost to all the teams above them, they haven’t been blown out. The major comparison to Ooff! is that the Archers are below them in the standings, but beat them in their only meeting. This has put them in a vulnerable spot as the Archers are only three points behind with two games in hand. They could be passed in the standings as early as tomorrow. Their stats are very similar to the Pterodactyls, but they’ve played one more game than them and unfortunately for them their extra game was a loss. With two games coming up against the lowly, undisciplined Rink Rats, maybe they can keep the Archers at bay and jump over the Pterodactyls.

Sewer Rats

The Sewer Rats started the season with two losses, lucky for them, starting with two losses is only a championship curse in the NFL (I’ll save you the time – 93’ Cowboys, 01’ Pats, and 07’ Giants are the only teams to do it). Basically, the Sewer Rats still have a chance. They are making the rest of the league aware of it by making the most of this chance. Since starting 0-2 the Sewer Rats have gone 4-4. While splitting games isn’t ideal, it’s an improvement that I’m sure they are building on. This is especially true since they don’t have a key scorer to lean on. As they improve on their team work, their record will also improve.



The Admirals are much better than their record shows. The team has had some major attendance problems that have held them back, but leading scorer Tom “The Chipmunk” Whitney’s almost 3 points per game has kept the team in games time and time again (when he shows up).  Something the team should be really proud of is the fact that in none of their losses have ended with a running clock. Moving forward though, I’m sure they’d love some running clock games where they’re on the winning end. While the Admirals have yet to beat any teams in the upper half of the standings, the games have all been close.


Rink Rats

The Rink Rats are killing it right now… is what I would say if the Rink Rats were actually doing well. I’m not going to say they are at rock bottom, but they are vastly underperforming. I don’t think anyone would have guessed that these guys would start the season 0-4, but wow, that was a wake-up call. Unfortunately the wake-up call only lasted a few games. In the 4 games following that abysmal start, they went 3-1. Even though they only beat other basement dwellers, it was looking like a different team. Then they were brought back to reality. In the 3 games since then they are winless. This includes a loss to the lowly Perch. The only reason these guys aren’t below the Perch is because the season series was split at one game apiece and both goal differentials were the same Also the fact that the Rink Rats have won two more games than them.





Stop the presses! The Perch have won a game since our last Power Rankings. I know I must sound like a broken record at this point, but the Perch just can’t gain foothold in the PTAHL. The new roster was looking like it might be what they needed to survive, but an 0-9 start to the season says that, that is absolutely not the case. I will say this however, the win over the Rink Rats was huge. I’d rather watch a close game between two lower ranked teams than an offensive clinic by two teams on opposite ends of the standings. Look, I’m a Browns fan, I know every loss holds a lesson, but unless these guys can’t go another 9 games without a win and expect to make any noise in the post season. Hopefully this is that elusive step they’ve been searching for.

Gabe’s Grateful Power Rankings D1

November 2, 2017

Happy November everyone, as we approach turkey day I’m going to predict now that there will be a drop off in scoring in the few days after Thanksgiving… here are the first edition of D1 Power Rankings



Ice Men

The Ice Men have been putting on a show for the league; while they sit in second place in the standings they have two less games played than the first place team and sit only one point behind the first place Whack-a-Mole. The boast the second highest goals per game with 7.14 and Matt Torstrup is tied for first in points. Actually the only difference in the two player’s stats are that Matt has one more game winning goal compared to the player to be mentioned later. Scoring has come from all over for this team, with all but 3 players having registered at least one point. If they can all continue to contribute this team will vie for the championship


Whack-a-Mole currently sits in first place in the standings, but not comfortably. The Ice Men are breathing down their neck and have shown their ability to beat them as evidenced by their last meeting. The teams meet twice more this season but the main focus of Whack-a-Mole should be taking the season one game at a time. While they have won a majority of their games, they have been proven vulnerable by teams more established in the PTAHL. The boast the most goals total at the moment, but they also have the highest goals against total. However, on the bright/dark side, they have at least two more games played than the rest of the teams in the league.

Laffy Taffy

Laffy Taffy is absolutely electric. They’ve played the least amount of games played but they have the third highest goals for total. They average the highest goals per game and currently have the least goals scored against total. Captain Steve Osvold leads the team in scoring with 18 points. Tyler Mischenko follows closely behind with 15 points. The team has the potential to make a deep playoff run, but with one forfeit already this early in the season you have to wonder if forfeits are going to be what slows them down.

Fine Freddy’s

The combination of Fine Pines and Freddy’s HC hasn’t been too great, but also hasn’t been awful. They sit at .500 on the season with one forfeit win. Chris Keresztes currently has the highest amount of points on the team. The next highest point getter is Dave Sanders both of the former Fine Pines. The team has beaten Whack-a-Mole showing that they can hang with the big boys but has lost to teams lower than them in the standings. Currently they are riding a two game winning streak as we fully come into November. They face a tall task in Laffy Taffy that will definitely test their defense. Until these guys can put more goals on the board they’re going to struggle.


The MuskRays have been… uninspiring, to say the least. They sit just above the Predators in the standings but that’s not saying much. Oddly however, they are only a -1 in goal differential. Steve Doherty leads the team with 5 points—all goals, which involves him in a quarter of all goals scored by the team. The season is long though and they have plenty of time to fix their problems, hopefully before they dig themselves in too deep of a hole.



Wow, what can I say about the Predators that hasn’t already been said behind their back. So the Predators have a non-existent defensive corps. In all the games they’ve actually shown up for they’ve given up at least 6 goals. Matthew Fox leads the team in points with 7 meaning he’s been involved in 7/17 total points (curse you prime numbers!). But they have won only one game and it was against Fine Freddy’s, meaning, one of the lower half teams right now. I would say that these guys should, “do their ****ing jobs” but they hardly ever go to their own games. Right now teams that go up against them have a 50% chance of winning by showing up. The Preds have the least goals for, but are also the second lowest penalized team. This is partly because of discipline, but mostly because they haven’t played half their games. They will sit in the cellar under the basement of these Power Rankings until the show up and win a few games.

Upcoming Games
Feb 20
Division I
Stingrays @ MuskRays
Feb 21
Division II
SHIce @ Green Brook Berets
Feb 22
Division III
Archers @ Perch
Sewer Rats @ Rink Rats
Feb 23
Division III
Ooff! @ Puck Pimps
Feb 24
Division I
Laffy Taffy @ Ice Men
Division II
Biohazards @ Reapers
Feb 25
Division I
Fine Freddy's @ Predators
Division II
Phantoms @ Blue Tribe
Division III
Pterodactyls @ Storm
Feb 26
Division II
Flames @ Biohazards
Feb 27
Division I
Stingrays @ Ice Men
Feb 28
Division I
Fine Freddy's @ Whack-a-Mole
Mar 1
Division III
Vudoo @ Archers
Admirals @ Puck Pimps
View Full Schedule