Brian's Fortnightly Power Rankings: Division I and III
May 6, 2017
1) Laffy Taffy
The Laffy Taffy have been massacring everyone, except for their 8-5 loss to the Ice Men. In that game, the Taffy had a short roster, but their perfect season ended that day. For a bit, legendary recap writer and Zamboni driver Brian Rappleyea, had the idea that they could go down in history along with teams like the 2003-04 Invincibles of Arsenal Football Club, but even with their loss, the Taffy are still first in the power rankings and standings. Their final four games are this fortnight, a pattern of the Warriors, Freddy’s HC, the Warriors, Freddy’s HC. The top three scorers in Division I are members of the Taffy: Sean Rasimowicz (24 points), Tyler Mishchenko (22), and Captain Steve “Ozzy” Osvold (17). Goaltender Phil Burrows has the lowest GAA in the division at 4.33, and has been huge in the team nearly having a 3:1 goals for goals against ratio, 75:26, while they are also the only team with a goal differential greater than -4, at 49. The Taffy can get maximum points this fortnight, and are the favorites to win the title, but the gap between them and their opponents has tightened.
2) Ice Men
Winners of three straight, and the only team to knock off the Laffy Taffy, the Ice Men are second in the power rankings. It was a tough start for last season’s champion, but they have turned it around with the well-rounded scoring of Matt Torstrup (17 points), Steve Imbasciani (10), Mike Torstrup (9), and Zander Pindyck (7). Two games remain: Freddy’s HC and the MuskRays. While the Ice Men almost certainly will not finish in first, they have proven that they can win the championship, as seen with their recent form.
The Warriors have won two of their last three, but one win was a forfeit. No player has scored more than eight points, and seven players have 4-8 points, demonstrating a deep team. But attendance might be the deciding factor for the Warriors; much of the time, they have a short bench. With their team showing up, the Warriors can skate with anyone, and even give the Laffy Taffy fits. It mostly boils down to attendance with the Warriors, and time will tell for them. With three games remaining, a home and home with the Laffy Taffy, and one against the MuskRays, anything more than six points this fortnight, especially with two games against the Taffy, will paint the Warriors as a serious contender for the championship.
4) Freddy's HC
Freddy’s lost both games last fortnight, one through a forfeit. Their last win came in their third most recent game, against the MuskRays, who are their next opponent. After that, Freddy’s plays the Laffy Taffy, Ice Men, and Laffy Taffy again. This difficult schedule has Captain Chuck “U Ain’t Got No Alibi” Ugalde salivating at the chance to prove himself and his team once more. His teams are always contenders, and even in what would be considered their “down” seasons, they are still a threat. Vinny Bird “Is The Word” and Jake “The Snake” Worby (each with 10 points, all goals for The Snake) lead the team in scoring. Ugalde’s men have been hit with attendance problems, and he has been in talks with Brian Rappleyea, who has not yet come back from leaving the sport. Ugalde keeps trying to sign him, but so far, no progress has been made. As the greatest GM in PTAHL history, Ugalde should keep trying because the answer could, someday change… If Freddy’s can get nine or more points in their final four games, that will be a gigantic haul as they gear up for another installment of the PTAHL playoffs.
The MuskRays don’t score much, 27, the division’s fewest, and nearly have a 1:2 goals for goals against ratio, 27:52. They need to find more sources from which to score, with Nick Abel the only player in double digit points, 11. Chris Keresztes has seven points, six of which have been goals, but nobody else has half of Keresztes’ goal total. Steve Doherty has five points, for third on the team, but the MuskRays are still trying to find scoring. The MuskRays’ next three opponents are Freddy’s HC, the Ice Men, and the Warriors, and six points would be a great way to end the season for this veteran team.
Top of the table, the Phantoms currently own the tiebreaker in a four way tie. After losing their first game of the season, they have won four straight, including two wins over two of the three teams with which they are tied (The Moose and Reapers). Their next match is their Unity Bank Cup match, where they will try to bring honor to the PTAHL, in our version of the UEFA Champions League. The PTAHL is looking to be bigger than that competition though, which features teams like Real Madrid and the league is working out a TV deal with Univision and thefirstrow.eu to broadcast one of our premier clubs. For the PTAHL competition, the Phantoms’ final five meetings are against Hot Corner, Team ODIN (the third team they are currently tied with), SHIce, The Moose, and Reapers. Relying on a scoring output which is spread out pretty evenly, eight players have 4-8 points: Nick Meade (8), Doug Meade (7), Joe Arena and Mike Smitko (6 apiece), Phil Meade, Kevin Inglis, and Nick Bucci (5 apiece), and finally Al “The Cavalier” Cavallo (4, all of which are goals, which also puts him tied for second on the team in goals), the Phantoms are an incredibly deep group. Tony Bucci who has a GAA of 3.40, which is tied for second best in Division III, forms the backbone of his team, which has been nicely built by Captain, Bill “Darth Maul” Malthaner. Look for the Phantoms to finish no lower than second, and they have as good a chance as anybody to win the top seed, and championship (which would be their second straight).
2) Team ODIN
In a four way tie for first place, Team ODIN has been buoyed by their three most recent victories, 11-3, 5-3, and 11-2. Their next two games are against two of the teams with whom they are tied, the Reapers and Phantoms. After this, they play SHIce, The Moose (the third team with whom they are tied), and the Storm. Mike Davison has a GAA of 3.40, tying him for second in Division III, stonewalling a defense which has allowed the joint second fewest goals against, at 17. Captain Jason Fischbach is tied for the team lead in points (15), along with Brian “The Salamander” Salvesen, who had a dynamite game against the Admirals, where he scored the first four goals of the game, to finish that one with five goals and two assists, winning the Hockey Haus Man of the Match Award. Alex Miragaya has 12 points, while Dan “Fin de Semana” Seminara has eight, and Kevin “The Headless” Horstman has seven. ODIN has a goals for goals against ratio of better than 2:1 at 36:17, and at 19, has the best goal differential in the division. Team ODIN is a legitimate contender for the championship.
3) The Moose
Earning 6/9 points, and in a four way tie for first place, The Moose are led by Max Vasilyev (10 points), and Nick Pawlyk, (9 points, all goals). The only loss in their last three games was to the Phantoms, with whom they are tied with. SHIce, Hot Corner, Team ODIN, Reapers, and Phantoms are The Moose’s next five games. All three of their opponents, with whom they are tied with (Team ODIN, Reapers, and the Phantoms) are on the horizon, and these games will determine the 1-4 seeds. The Moose have already beaten Team ODIN, and have the confidence they can do it again. With only 25 goals and 21 against, The Moose have the lowest goal differential amongst their tied opponents, but they also have the fewest penalty minutes, instilling a disciplined approach by Captain, Paul “Decaf” Coffey. Look for The Moose to get no fewer than nine points in their final five games.
The Reapers are in a four way tie for first place, but lost their previous game to the Phantoms, with whom they are tied. Before that, they did win, but since it was via forfeit, the Reapers have dropped in the power rankings. Hugo Beja is tied for the division lead in points with 15, and Gary Nigro is second on the team with 12. Team ODIN, Storm, The Moose, Hot Corner, and Admirals are the Reapers’ final five opponents, and they should look to get at least 9/15 points. Captain Kenny Cafarella will have to instruct his fellas to stay out of the box; they lead the division with 30 PIM. If they can do this, the Reapers are a championship contender.
The Storm are in a four way tie, but for fifth; they only have three points. Coming off a 10-4 win against Hot Corner, the Storm finally tasted their first PTAHL win. Perhaps they can build on this, and distance themselves from their opponents, but if they do, they will have to score more. Only 20 goals for, and half of them against Hot Corner, an increase in goals will get them out of a tie. The Reapers, Admirals, Team ODIN, and SHIce are the Storm’s next opponents, and Captain Lloyd “The Legend” Lisk, will be happy with at least six points. Anything more than that, and the Storm will be in position to finish fifth. Tyler Dunster and Richard Woznick each have five points to lead the team, while Chuck Dunster has four points (all goals, to lead the team) in a fine debut season. If the Storm are to go anywhere, look for these guys to keep scoring.
The Admirals are also in a four way tie, but only have one win, which was their first game of the season. SHIce, Storm, and Hot Corner (who they beat in that game, 4-3) are their next three games, before they end the season against the Phantoms and Reapers. Those first three games will be an obvious barometer in whether they will move up or down the table, and Jared “The Aircraft” Carrier and Tommy Whitney will have to be big to lead the team. Carrier has a team high nine points, while Whitney is four points adrift. At least 9/15 points to end the season should be what the Admirals look for.
7) Hot Corner
Hot Corner have one win this season, which was a forfeit. They find themselves in a four way tie for fifth place, and will have to find a way to put the puck in the net. 13 goals for and 32 goals against is not going to get the job done, but this team, an expansion team, is still learning the PTAHL. Hot Corner has been well disciplined, with only two penalty minutes on the season, a division low. Rob Brancato has five points to lead his team, while Mike Brancato has four. Hot Corner will likely go as these two go. Their final five games are against the Phantoms, The Moose, Admirals, SHIce, and Reapers. Hot Corner should look to get 6/15 points, and anything more would be massive as they try to get out of a four way tie.
SHIce have one win this season, but two forfeits. That’s a no go in Brian’s Approximately Fortnightly Power Rankings, of which SHIce is at the bottom. Their forfeits have put them in a four way tie, and because of only playing two games, their stats are misleading. Eric Ely has four points to lead the team, and with 8 goals for and 7 against, we are misled by each stat. Ely can score, so expect his point total to rise, same for Brandon Jonas, who has two points (both goals). SHIce have six games left: The Moose, Admirals, Team ODIN, Phantoms, Hot Corner, and Storm. Those last two games, against teams they are currently tied with, might be huge, but SHIce have to show up to play them. It is tough to say, due to their limited number of games played, but SHIce should look for no fewer than 9/18 points in their final six games.
Brian's Fortnightly Power Rankings: Division II and IV
April 27, 2017
1) Green Brook Berets
6/6 points last fortnight, a 6-2 win over the Stingrays and a 6-4 win over the Flames, puts the Green Brook Berets at the top of the power rankings. They are only one point behind Whack-a-Mole and the Stingrays, who are tied for first. Nuno Costa has a GAA of 3.50, good enough for second in the division. The young Berets of Zach Ulloa and Adrian “The Pinguin” Pinzon (each with six points) have score the most on the team, followed by Frank Dente with five. Long time Beret, Pat Perez, has four points, and so do George Aller and Rob Pinzon, both who have plied their trade in the greatest and most exciting league on Earth for years. The Fine Pines and Flames are Green Brook’s next opponents, and with two regulation wins, can stretch their winning streak to five games, winning 14/15 points. Look for them to get at least 3/6 points this fortnight.
3/6 points last fortnight, a 9-3 win over the Fine Pines and a 6-4 loss to the Flames. Tied for first place with the Stingrays, Whack-a-Mole has been led by the goaltending of Mike Haggerty, who leads the Hockey Haus Man of the Match standings with 2.5 points, winning the award in each of his team’s wins, for a total of three. Haggerty also leads the division in GAA with 2.77. With a 2:1 goals for to goals against ratio (20-10), Whack-a-Mole is a serious contender, especially with four scorers who have at least six points: Steve Jensen and Carl Meixsall (each with seven) and Joe Nobilio and Bryan Whittaker (each with six). Three games this fortnight, first against the Flames, then two straight against the Stingrays. Anywhere from 3-9 points is realistic, but only Whack-a-Mole should only be somewhat satisfied with at least six points.
The Stingrays have alternated wins and losses (all kinds, regulation and shootout) all season. Last fortnight, a 6-2 loss to the Green Brook Berets was sandwiched around two victories over the Fine Pines, 6-5 and 8-7 wins, with the latter featuring a four goal comeback. 6/9 points is a good haul in the previous fortnight, and the play of Eddie Boscaino (10 points), and Mike Boscaino, Frank Inzano, and Jim Peterson (all with six points) can be thanked. Not to be overlooked is Henry Hinterstein, who has five points, all of which have been goals. With two games against Whack-a-Mole, there could either be separation or a tighter log jam after this fortnight. PTAHL headquarters feels both teams will split the home and home.
The Flames won 3/6 points last fortnight: A win over first place Whack-a-Mole, but a loss to the Green Brook Berets, where they gave up six straight. Only one point behind third and two behind second, a first place finish can still happen. Vinny D’Orio is a proven PTAHL goalie, and with a GAA of 4.50, he will have to be huge for the Flames. On the offensive end, Eddie Parfitt leads the team with six points, while Pete Haglund and Mike Denino each have five. After these three, we see four players with three points (Rob Brancato, Joe Fallacaro, Chris Parco, and Captain “Nasty” Nas Allan), illustrating the Flames’ depth. Watch out for this team, they can sneak up on anybody and no lead is safe. Games on April 28 (Fine Pines) and April 29 (Whack-a-Mole), and a third game this fortnight against the Green Brook Berets gives them a busy slate, but the Flames should be up to it. At least six points should satisfy “Nasty” Nas' team, but anything less can further log jam the standings.
5) Fine Pines
The Pines have lost both games and earned zero points last fortnight. Yes, they were both by one goal, and both to the Stingrays, but after blowing a four goal lead in their previous game, the Pines are last in the power rankings. But we should not be fooled by their record. The Pines can play, and with Chris “Krusty” Keresztes, Adam Sklar, and Alex Miragaya leading the way, this team can do better. Their next fortnight’s opponents are the Flames, Green Brook Berets, and Whack-a-Mole. These are three of their five remaining games, and they have to get the points, because they are running out of time.
The Biohazards have dropped one point this season, and while they do not have the best points percentage, they have played the best for the longest period of time. Nick Raite has been crushing the competition with his net minding, earning plaudits from legendary recap and power ranking writer, and zamboni driver, Brian Rappleyea. Raite leads the Hockey Haus Man of the Match Standings with 2.166 points, having won at least a share of the award in 5/6 games. Through six games, with one shutout and a GAA of 2.00, he has done just about everything asked of him. On the offensive end, Greg “Turn Down for What” Ternlund has 10 points, while Sean “Mr.” Feeney, Chris Ypsilantis, and Larry “The Canadian Guy” St. Denis each have nine. Consistent scoring from multiple players is why this team is leading the way, and it seems like their biggest threat will be the Puck Pimps, who have not yet dropped a point. One opponent this fortnight, the Rink Rats: Only three points will be a success for the Biohazards.
2) Puck Pimps
The Puck Pimps are perfect through four games. But they have only played four games, compared to the Biohazards’ six. Had the Pimps played one more, or the Biohazards played one fewer, they could have been ranked first. No matter though, because this team is for real, and at the moment, there is little, if any, difference, between them and the Biohazards. The Pimps have two games this fortnight (Archers and Vudoo), while the Biohazards have one game this fortnight. If the Pimps can stay perfect, they can move up to first in the power rankings. Tarek Bonna leads the division with 11 points, while Greg Mustoe has eight. Nick Minarik has been terrific in net with a GAA of 2.67, illustrating the Pimps’ commitment to both ends of the ice, which is why they have a chance to repeat as champions.
The Pterodactyls have smashed the lower end teams, but cannot beat the top teams. With a misleading 30 goals for and 7 against, the Pterodactyls have only scored 26 goals in their two wins, and four in their three losses. Their inability to score for long periods of time is obviously something they need to figure out, but their excellent defense is the reason for their power ranking of third place this fortnight. In those three losses, the Flying Fossils have only allowed nine goals, so only an offensive improvement will be necessary. After a loss to the six man Sewer Rats, the Pterodactyls need to figure out a way to get their leading scorer (and last season’s leading scorer), Ilya Labutin, more consistent chances, because he can score with the best of them. The Archers and the Vudoo are the Pterodactyls’ opponents in the next fortnight, and they can get anywhere form no points to maximum points. The Pterodactyls need another fortnight to figure things out, just as much as anyone else.
4) Sewer Rats
The Sewer Rats have a loss and a shootout win, earning 2/6 points in the previous fortnight. That shootout win was with only six skaters, and against the Pterodactyls, who they only trail by one point, although the Sewer Rats have played one more game. Mat Laskowski has a GAA of 3.80 after that fantastic performance against the Pterodactyls. Eric Rogus has eight points, and Andrew Viox has six to lead the way. If they can keep it up, along with continue to get nice performances by Eric Vogt, and Rudy Vitti, the Sewer Rats can not only do well in the next fortnight, but also in the playoffs. The Sewer Rats play the Rink Rats in their next game, and might be able to get out of the log jam in the middle of the standings.
Ooff! won three points this fortnight, which was seen in their third period comeback against the Rink Rats, when they were down 2-0. In their most recent game, they nearly pulled off the same magic against the Puck Pimps, trailing 3-0 in the third before tying it, but losing 5-3. A points percentage of .500 last fortnight, but improved play puts Ooff! higher than the Archers and Rink Rats in the power rankings, even though Ooff! has fewer points. The Vudoo and Sewer Rats are Ooff!’s opponents this fortnight, and even though Dean Bogner has a high GAA of 5.53, it is extremely misleading, and Ooff! always have a chance with him in net.
Only one game last fortnight for the Archers, which was at the beginning of the fortnight: April 13, which was a 4-3 shootout loss to the Biohazards. The Archers are the only team to take points off the Biohazards this season, and Captain Jason Fischbach, has to be optimistic about his team, especially after that night when they briefly took a third period lead. The Archers have not scored much this season, but have not allowed much either (12 goals for, 12 against). At the moment, when compared to the teams around them in the standings, the Archers have a better goal differential. While I cannot put them above Ooff!, due to their mostly inactive fortnight, the Archers’ play insinuates that they will move up the standings and power rankings. They have three games this fortnight, against the Puck Pimps, Perch, and Pterodactyls. Look for the Archers to get anywhere from 3-6 points, but don’t be surprised if they win all nine points.
7) Rink Rats
The Rink Rats let a 2-0 third period lead slip away to Ooff!, and had to beat the Perch in a shootout. The Rink Rats have the second worst goal differential in Division IV at -15, and will need their two top scorers from last season, Nick Graham, and Joe “Joey Jr.” Maresca, Jr. to regain their form. A game against the Sewer Rats, who are three points ahead will be massive, and their other game this fortnight, which is against the Biohazards gives the Rink Rats a look at a top team who they will likely see if they are to contend for Division IV’s crown.
The Perch nearly won their first ever PTAHL game, but instead, had to settle for a shootout loss. Eight goals for in five games will not be enough, and their shootout loss has been their only close game. The Archers and Biohazards are the Perch’s next opponent’s this fortnight. A few points would see the move out of the log jammed bottom of Division IV.
The Vudoo have had the scheduling anomaly of not playing in the last fortnight. Because of that, they must be put at the bottom of the power rankings, even though they are much better than the bottom of the standings. The Vudoo are tied for fourth with the Sewer Rats, but have two games in hand, and have given up seven goals this season, which is the fewest in Division IV. Pete Peterson has a GAA of2.33, and nicely backstops a team, led by George Dimock (6 pts), Will Dimock (5 pts), and James Woods-Corwin (4 pts, all goals). Ooff!, the Puck Pimps, and the Pterodactyls are Vudoo’s opponents this fortnight, and they will finally make up those games in hand.
For a complete schedule listing, click here!