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San Francisco Diablos
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Diablo veterans Ryan Brooks and Justin McFawn take time off their busy off-season schedules to enjoy the finer things...Beer and stolen property.
Diablos wrap up Winter Meeting
Another off season has reared it's ugly head for the Diablos and baseball fans across the country. The evil empire has reclaimed the top of the mountain in the MLB and supposedly the same team won the SFNABA championship. I say supposedly because as is usually the case with the Diablos when their season ends their interest in the league ends with it. After an epic battle with the Benders ended the Diablos playoff run the front office was kicked out of hibernation.
First order of business was to arrange a sit down with Tim Lincecum and see if the numbers could be worked out. After a few hours of listening to some Pink Floyd, staring at Timmy's collection of blacklight art and watching him polish his Cy Youngs it seemed that the only logical course of action was to pop in The Big Lebowski and enjoy. Unfortunately Diablo management noticed that the fabulous hookah we had been using during negotiations was autographed by none other than Barry Zito. Suddenly visions of a 7 year/$126 million nightmare filled our collective heads and negotiations stalled. The official statement put out by our PR group indicated we did NOT end negotiations because of his citation for marijuana possession and we are sticking it to it despite the rumors to the contrary. (Between you and me I would take that kind of publicity with one our players much better than say having his wife beat him with a golf club after finding out he was putting from the rough if you know what I mean). Since those negotiations little has been cooking on the hot stove. A bid for Marco Scutaro was beaten out by the Red Sox(Damn you Theo Epstein!).
This past week the brain trust(using that term loosely) for the Diablos met up at a fine establishment in Westlake. Only a team of this caliber plans a meet @ a place located in a shopping mall during the holiday season. After tearing through a few sampler platters like wild hyenas and wetting our whistles the meeting was called to order. Everyone aired their thoughts on last season and what was needed to get over the hump in 2010. McFawn and Forrest picked up right where they left off and got back to their marital bliss. Nieves showed up late as usual and took care of the bill(Coach you will always be a champion). PR Sainz vowed to halt his nomadic existence and bring his glove on game days. AC Sanchez showed disappointment throughout the meeting since the weather and state law barred him from drinking shirtless.
The main topic of discussion turned to a serious allegation of poaching going on for the second year in a row. After two years in the league it is clear to all that play against the Diablos we enjoy the game AND post-game. A good team in our eyes enjoys giving it all between the lines and ripping each other a new one after it's all said and done. Nobody is on this team because they went to some try-out and had Lloyd from Entourage pat their ass and offer them a hand job. We certainly don't call players and disparage their current teams in an effort to lure them to our squad. This type of behavior is for guys who are still bitter about being picked last and/or having a strong resemblance to the above picture. This part of the update is for only one person so most of you out there don't need to read any further...Knock that shit off
***UPDATED*** Kangaroo Courts Fees
March 24, 2008
The fees for stupid shit are as follows:
Getting Picked off a base: $1.00
Striking out looking: $1.00
Over throwing your cutoff man: $1.00
Infielder over throwing around the horn: $1.00
Hat Trick: $1.00
0 for 5: 1$
Missing a sign: $1.00
Failure to execute sign: $1.00
Wearing a white hat to a game: $1.00
No Hustle: $1.00
Wearing pants high with wrong color socks: $1.00
Leaving your shit at the field: $1.00
Golden Sombrero: $3.00
Letting go of bat during AB and almost killing dude on-deck: $3.00
Calling your own Infield Fly from the batters box: $3.00
Late for Game: $5.00
Crying like a bitch at a movie: $5.00
No Show/No Call at Game: $20.00
Thrown out of game: $20.00
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SF Diablos
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