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Author |
TOPIC: Planet Mertog |
| Mac
June 26, 2007
11:57:51 PM
Entry #: 2229959
| Gotta Give It To Mert And Smitty I Think Its A Great Idea And These Topics Everyone Should B "In The Know" I Enjoy Utrip But Its More Cause I Like To Laugh At What The Pitchers Do On The Mound Kinda Relaxing Seeing Someone Doing The Windmill With His Pitching Arm Or Throwing His Glove At Me B4 The Ball But In All Honesty I Think Its True That The Umpiring Is The Biggest Issue Around Here.... Its Not Fair To Us Players Who Pay To Play These Games And Look Forward To It To Have An Umpire Call U Out Or Rush The Game So He Can Get Out Of There With An Easy Quick Buck Classic Line From A Few Umpires Come On Its Only Sunday Morning Who Really Cares....Guess What The Guys Who Show Up To The Feild Thats Who Cares Calling A Good Game And Making The Right Calls Is In My Opinion A Thing Of The Past. I Dont Know If Utrip Is The Answer Maybe So Maybe Not
Love The New Feature And Mert " The Wife " Sounds Like A Delight Hahaha And Its ALmost Midnite And I Gotta B Up For Work At 4 am Talk About Addicted To This Site
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| Uncle Mertog
June 27, 2007
12:54:26 AM
Entry #: 2230029
| Mac,
Glad you liked it. So toss some ideas out there for me for next weeks rant, Smitty gave me this one on the UTrip thing.
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| Dionne
June 27, 2007
5:13:31 PM
Entry #: 2231544
| I agree with Mertdog. Me and some of the Crowe Bar boys play in East Providence for fall ball which is u-trip along with a couple of u-trip tournaments and we all like the format but ASA is a dying breed of softball. I think that Ryno was right whoever wants to play u-trip play during the week or tournaments on Saturdays. ASA is dying out and our league I think is strong and should stay ASA despite what the Great Pumpkin says. Love the new "Planet Mertog", looking forward to playing you guys Sunday morning Mark.
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| Uncle Mertog
June 28, 2007
1:29:38 AM
Entry #: 2232380
| Hey Josh, Thanks...Glad you liked the Planet Mertog segment.
I'm kind of siding with Bob Bothelo on this one. He's right when he said the league is pretty damn good. My only complaint is the umpires, and only a couple of them imparticular. You play USSSA and I'm hearing the same from alot of people and that is that it really won't make that much of a difference.
USSA is very, very, bad!
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| slick
June 28, 2007
10:23:35 AM
Entry #: 2232734
| seeing we have a all knowing planet as of right now who will be the leaders in the main catagories of the stats
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| slick
June 28, 2007
10:26:34 AM
Entry #: 2232739
| at the end of the season
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| EW33
June 29, 2007
10:10:46 AM
Entry #: 2234879
| Mertog, I loved the first entry. I hope its the first of many. I particularly like the part about "if you dont like it let ryno know". That shit made me crack up. A prison guard hiding behind his inmate!
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| Uncle Mertog
June 29, 2007
2:48:30 PM
Entry #: 2235500
| Hey Ernie, Actually I just submitted another one to Smitty (My editor) LMFAO. Can you guys take Artie out drinking or something, get him wound up...we need something to talk about.
That is the true sign of a good Prison Guard, get in good with the biggest, meanest inmate in the joint and hide behind him. I tried to have him taken out a few times but no one has been successful... 
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| Uncle Mertog
June 29, 2007
3:18:14 PM
Entry #: 2235564
| Uh Slick...I'm not really a planet (sssh, don't tell anyone)...it's sort like "Wayne's World" see how that works. Sorry to confuse you like that. :)
You know, when I have questions that I need answered, I always turn to the all knowing sage that is Lindsay Lohan. Lets check with Lindsay to see who she thinks will win all the major categories.
Linday doesn't know either. I guess we will just have to wait and see on that one.
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| Ryno
July 2, 2007
9:24:22 PM
Entry #: 2241128
| Mertog,
Another excellent day on your planet where the sky is purple and it's rains twinkies.
As for the young man that is pondering marriage at the tender age of 23. Unless she is a dumb blonde millionare that likes to give you head 3 times a day don't do it yet
I am now 35 and my softball is winding down, I found a woman that not only allows to me to play softball, but bought me a Mayhem for Christmas. That would be an encouraging sign of permission to play. HOWEVER! I am sure Mrs. Mertog started out this way until at some point she made the transformation to "THE WIFE". I expect by the time mine turns into "THE WIFE" I will be too old and broken down to play anyway. So my advice is wait until 2017, and I feel like Uncle Mertog will agree.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 2, 2007
10:06:25 PM
Entry #: 2241201
| Hey Ryno...Thanks glad you liked the piece.
I have to be honest, Mrs. Mertog is very cool about softball, mainly because she realizes that I am an idiot and nothing she says can change me.
Every week she buys the water and Gatorade for the team during her weekly shop. On Sundays she loads up the cooler full of the beverages and ice and brings them to the field for the guys.
This week she had a cookout for the whole team and some of the guys wives and children, she had a variety of beers, hamburgers, hotdogs, marinated steak tips, corn on the cob, two kinds of potato sald, macaroni salad, brownies, fruit salad, magaritas...you name it.
She encourages me to play softball because she knows that my work schedule sucks, and it is really the only social inteaction I have with my friends right now.
The "WIFE" only comes out when I'm on the computer for hours on end instead of painting the house, or cutting the grass. Other than that I can't complain. But I do know so many others who aren't so lucky as you and I and every weekend there is an event that the wives force them to go to. They were great ball players all of them, but they no longer are allowed to play. (Spills beer on ground for lost homies)
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| EW33
July 4, 2007
10:54:01 AM
Entry #: 2244181
| Maybe you guys should ask another question? Is this girl a total idiot? I'm talking the kind that you can do whatever you want and even though you just pissed her off an hour later its like nothing ever happened? That's how my wife is and that's the only reason my marriage has worked. It's like living with Jason Bourne over here. I piss her off do whatever i want, i get threatened with all kids of torture and then an hour later she's serving me dinner at my computer while i play online video games. Marry a portugese chick. They have a year round tan, are dumber than a stump, and cant remember why the fuck they were mad at you so they make dinner. Everything is solved with food if youre portugese.
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| Dutilly
July 4, 2007
9:00:57 PM
Entry #: 2244878
| Ernie that was the greatest post i have ever heard i married a Italian chick that remembers why she was mas a yr and a half a go
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| Ryno
July 4, 2007
9:02:36 PM
Entry #: 2244883
| I am marrying a blonde polock. Enough said.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 4, 2007
10:12:16 PM
Entry #: 2244959
| I married an Italian as well. Every so often I get roughed up and put into the trunk of a car and threatened.
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| EW33
July 5, 2007
10:57:08 AM
Entry #: 2245555
| see dutes and mertog go for the dark skin too but what a collection of cunts they can be. Then again that is tru for all women. Main reason i like portugese women is the food. Great food and pretty good in the sack (i've dated 3 portugese chicks and they were all the best). I must admit tho the older i get the more the food matters than the bedroom antics. That's also probably the reason im overweight by about 30 lbs lol.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 5, 2007
1:10:35 PM
Entry #: 2245823
| I don't know Ernie,
The Italian women are pretty damn good cooks too! I weighed 165 at marriage, I've actually topped out at 240...and walk around at about 215 now.
Ryno doesn't have to worry about that though, Polish food won't make you fat. Golombki, Pierogi, Borsch and Kapusta are all made with cabbage, seems like the Polish put cabbage in everything. Every once in awhile you might get Kielbasa if your a good boy.
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| Ryno
July 5, 2007
1:22:06 PM
Entry #: 2245846
| Luckily I hate cabbage so they always have peirogi and carbanosi (mini keilbasa) handy for me.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 6, 2007
12:21:19 AM
Entry #: 2247003
| Ryno, hate to tell you this my "backwoods" friend. Pierogi is a dumpling stuffed with seasoned cabbage.
Kielbasa is great with horse radish, you gotta try that.
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| OAWMF
July 6, 2007
9:51:43 AM
Entry #: 2247346
| Most pierogi or however ya spell it is stuffed with mashed potato. Or at least I thought?????
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| Uncle Mertog
July 6, 2007
1:58:44 PM
Entry #: 2247896
| #25: Actually, I have heard of this...but to the best of my knowledge, this is not the traditional Pierogi.(Although there could be variations since Poland is a very impoverished country and most people grow their own food and use whatever they have lying around to make their dishes) Most Pierogi, that I have seen is shredded seasoned cabbage.
My entire mothers side of the family is straight off the boat from Poland, and I was forced to attend the Gulag(catholic school) that they called Our Lady of Czenstochowa. Spent my whole life surrounded by Poles and have actually gone to Poland twice...I have never seen it with potato yet. Just my experience though.
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| M.C.B
July 6, 2007
6:43:21 PM
Entry #: 2248430
| Hey, any of you guys ever date a dude?
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| Ryno
July 7, 2007
8:28:00 PM
Entry #: 2249526
| Glumkies ae cabbage rolls. Periogi are dumpling like things that are usually potato and/or cheese stuffed.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 8, 2007
2:48:12 PM
Entry #: 2250120
| Walt...you're one scary dude.
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| bigrex
July 8, 2007
5:13:59 PM
Entry #: 2250253
| yeah walt and you broke my heart your only after one thing.................. a good batting practice pitcher
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| Ryno
July 19, 2007
12:30:26 PM
Entry #: 2270670
| Mertog have you run out of material? I am waiting with great anticipation for the next installment.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 19, 2007
2:52:08 PM
Entry #: 2271052
| Ryno...I have been extremely pressed for time this week. I'm trying to whip something up in my free time.
Congrats on your upcoming nuptials, of course I'll have to swing by the PNA that night and attach the Prison Shackles and give you an inmates uniform to welcome you to the club of those who have surrendered to the dark side.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 19, 2007
9:18:26 PM
Entry #: 2271910
| Okay Ryno, a new Planet Mertog is up just for you! I think after you read it you may be hunting me down like the dog I am. :}
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| Ryno
July 20, 2007
7:30:15 AM
Entry #: 2272380
| Hunt you down? It was so funny that I sent it to her to read. Though when she does become "THE WIFE" you may be in trouble now as well.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 20, 2007
11:40:50 AM
Entry #: 2272779
| Great! Next time we play the PNA she will be there on the side glaring at me and giving me the look that "THE WIFE" gives to friends that she does not approve of. You will learn that look to my friend. The have more looks that Zoolander.
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| ARTIEKARATE
July 20, 2007
11:57:07 AM
Entry #: 2272827
| MERT DOGS 463 , RYNO 485 , TMAC 448 , THE BATTING AVERAGES OF THESE GUYS . MAYBE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR USE OF THE COMPUTER .I ONLY BRING IT BECAUSE OF THE MENTION OF MY BA IN PLANET MERTDOG. BP GUYS GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER .HAHAHA!!!I WILL BE POSTING MORE INFO ON USSSA MERT . I HAVE ANSWERS FOR A COUPLE OF THE QUESTIONS .
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| Uncle Mertog
July 20, 2007
12:46:20 PM
Entry #: 2272930
| HAHAHA, you got me on that one Artie. .463, I'm that low this year huh, no wonder I bench myself!
Artie, any information that you have on USSSA will be great, especially if we are serious about trying it this fall.
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| Ryno
July 20, 2007
12:59:06 PM
Entry #: 2272950
| That's because we don't cook the books like some teams do. Just because someone makes contact and somehow the guy gets to first it isn't always a hit. Sac flies are not hits either. Groundouts that move runners over are not sacs either. Many Many times I have seen guys go O-fer against us but then have 3 hits on the stat board for that game.
Artie you would still bat me 4th on your team right between Pete and Ernie and you know it.
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| Soxfan7
July 20, 2007
1:03:10 PM
Entry #: 2272957
| Artie better be careful you may not get enough at bats to make the playoffs. I can understand that you might not want to get more at bat because you might bring your average back to reality. Looks like all but one have double the AB's, lets see if you can keep it up! Stats are overated. LOL! Am I getting you all worked up? By the way, you had Ryno and Mac's avg's reversed.
AVG AB HITS
Artie .613 31 19
Ryno .448 67 30
Mert .463 41 19
TMac .485 66 32
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| Mac
July 20, 2007
2:07:17 PM
Entry #: 2273081
| Hey So Sue Me Im A Lead Off Guy And Will Gladly Take An Error / Basehit /Walk/ Sac Fly Whatever As Long As Im Helping The Team. Average Means Nothing, Ive Got More Hits Than you Have At Bats That Should B Some Kind Of Indicator. If I had To Come In And Pinch Hit For A Guy On Your Team After Your Already Up 15 Runs Im Willing To Bet Id Be Batting Well Over .600 Too. But We Arent As Lucky As You And Couldnt Inherate A Team That Just Happened To Not Have Stats From A Year B4 So Everyone Was Legal ( Even Tho We All Know They Werent). But Thats Besides The Point I Dont Care If you Say This Or That About Me. But Id Rather Have Someone Calling Me Out On This That Actually Played More Than An Inning A Game Sorry Artie No Dice Here...
And If Anyone Is Interested I Think We Are Gonna Try And Get A Lil Something Going At 11 AM At Raven Wood Tmrw Not Sure How Many We Will Have But Thats the Spot If Anyone Wants To Get Some Swings/ Possible Lil Scrimmage
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| Ryno
July 20, 2007
2:37:33 PM
Entry #: 2273141
| woW maC iS furiouS. waY tO ranT littlE felleR. bY thE waY youR choiceS witH regardS tO propeR capitolizatioN arE annoyinG tO trY anD reaD.
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| Mac
July 20, 2007
5:08:18 PM
Entry #: 2273417
| hahhaha come on ryno ill just talk in regular letters from now on you sound like smitty fixing my english and grammar mistakes sorry mr. ryno ill write on the black board ( well dry erase boards now) i will not use impromper puncuation ever again on the coventry sunday morning softball website 100 times if that is not good enuf well then ill stop by the pna and drink some beers and a few mudslides that should make up for my impromper english haha
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| ARTIEKARATE
July 21, 2007
12:17:51 AM
Entry #: 2273972
| ryno , ask fisk if we cook the books , he said we are the toughest team hes ever been on when it comes to stats . i dont even do the book when butler is there , his girl mellisa does so im legit . i do have to turn in 3 weeks stats so i may dip below below 6 . but i have had a good season .
mert ,i will have the info soon , i dont know if we can get fall ball this season but if it can be done il try .
mac , most guys would beg to have coach who doesnt play himself . i did lead off against cc fire and the stallions . as far as my team and the book and stats we voted before the season and we got jrs vote , so talk to your team rep about that . we did get screwed by the guy who ran the team , we all know the story so i assume the reason you bring it up is because your mad .im throwing pebbles your throwing knifes . check out my .615 battig average at clegg mr .452 hahahahahaha!!!!!DO WORK !!!
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| Uncle Mertog
July 21, 2007
12:56:30 AM
Entry #: 2274004
| Wow, all this over who's batting what?
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| EW33
July 21, 2007
1:36:52 AM
Entry #: 2274034
| our books are not cooked. our book is kept by butler's girlfriend who imo thinks shes a fuckin major league scorer. VFW's books are legit. This comes up every year. It just makes me laugh that its always the same teams that make the comment. It's not as if we are a last place team and have the averages that we have. We are in a tie for 2nd place in a pretty competitive league. I must say i do not see the logic.
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| Mac
July 21, 2007
1:44:50 AM
Entry #: 2274047
| o ernie you know im not saying anythin about how the books are kept you know that one and if u dont now u do.... im just saying i dont call out of make fun of anyone else for how they hit / how they play like the umpires say this is sunday mornign and who cares... i care i do anything and everything i can to get on and win im not the best player in the league and dont think i ever will be but i sure as hell dont need coaches belittling me because how i hit in this league or in clegg everyone has to start somewhere we arent all as talented as you are artie if i were maybe instead of playin jv like u call it we would b beating you guys?
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| Ryno
July 21, 2007
8:12:02 AM
Entry #: 2274135
| I didn't specify VFW books. I missed the games aginst you guys the last 2 years so I have no idea what your stats should look like. But I have seen that type of stuff from teams. I don't really care. But don't bring up my bad numbers and expect me to be hush.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 21, 2007
12:40:11 PM
Entry #: 2274383
| Keep it up guy's this shit is great for the next installment of Planet Mertog. LMFAO! I didn't know that people were so defensive over their stats or if the books are cooked or not. This is beautiful, keep it coming.
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| ARTIEKARATE
July 24, 2007
10:22:22 AM
Entry #: 2278743
| MERT THIS ALL STARTED WHEN MY NAME AND BA CAME UP IN PLANET MERTDOG AND THE JOKE WAS DIRECTED AT YOU !!! THEN I THREW RYNO AND MAC UNDER THE BUS FOR THE 3 TO 4 POST A DAY . IT WAS ALL OUTA FUN RELAX !!!
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| cjk1977
July 24, 2007
10:56:32 AM
Entry #: 2278816
| Everyone cooks their books. Hell when I was playing I actually only hit about .275 at best!! Is anyone comign down here this year for any tourneys or anything? Ryno congrats on the wedding I wish you the best.
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| Ryno
July 24, 2007
12:22:54 PM
Entry #: 2279016
| Artie I took it as a joke don't worry about it.
CK thanks. That's also the reason I am not making any softball trips this year. First time in 10 years I will not have traveled to play in a tournament. Feels weird. But I think I would rather go to Hawaii anyway.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 24, 2007
1:11:44 PM
Entry #: 2279142
| LMFAO,
Artie, "Simma-Down-Nah" It was all in good fun, and now I got you screaming at me in CAPITAL LETTERS! I think this shit is absolutely fucking hysterical, I don't think anyone is taking any of this seriously, in fact I love it. You can break my balls about my batting average all you want, I deserve it...and you may be right. If I were at a batting cage rather than typing all day I may be hitting better. That was a great line...keep em coming.
I'm the last person in the world who will ever be upset by getting his balls broken, I dish it out and I can take it... so feel free to use me as a target anytime.
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| Uncle Mertog
July 26, 2007
12:23:05 PM
Entry #: 2283492
| Ryno, the latest installment is in...don't be a statistic!
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| ARTIEKARATE
July 26, 2007
12:41:39 PM
Entry #: 2283532
| Mert your beloved Smitty is a closet ROCK BOTTOM . He missed games last year for 7 weddings !! The inmates must be on there best behavior 4 U to write all this shit !!
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| Ryno
July 26, 2007
1:44:17 PM
Entry #: 2283696
| The decline started last year so it is inevitable in my evolution. Next year I will be a singles hitting DH with bad knees and “THE WIFE” waiting at home. I am already missing out on the annual PNA trip. What could be next?
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| Smitty
July 26, 2007
2:22:17 PM
Entry #: 2283793
| artie youre still on step one, at least i was good at one point
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| Mac
July 26, 2007
4:19:07 PM
Entry #: 2284076
| Mert did i give u a key to my apartment or something? because that looks like what i rolled out of this morning a sloppy drunk mess haha
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| Uncle Mertog
July 30, 2007
12:24:04 AM
Entry #: 2289016
| When I got to your apartment I had to climb over mountains of dead soldiers and found you on the toilet in a very awkward position.
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| Mac
August 1, 2007
5:35:26 PM
Entry #: 2294993
| mert as much as that could be me after a very very good nite it more resembles ant mansour packed into todds van on the way down to pa them guys were in there like sardines( or however u spell it)
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| Ryno
August 2, 2007
9:45:16 AM
Entry #: 2295983
| Ahem.... It's Tursday and I have gotten my weekly fill of Planet Mertog yet
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| Uncle Mertog
September 5, 2007
12:35:11 AM
Entry #: 2354362
| Okay Ryno....I had some time so I whipped up a new Planet for ya.
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| Uncle Mertog
October 5, 2007
11:31:18 PM
Entry #: 2404657
| New Planet Mertog is up....hope you enjoy! Where in the world is Ryno?
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