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TOPIC: No Love for Mertog! |
| Uncle Mertog
March 16, 2008
3:10:49 AM
Entry #: 2658380
| With all this talk about Blue Chip players merging to form super teams and managers making phone calls and offering deals to players to play for them, I feel extremely left out. No one called Mert and offered him a deal or offered to play for me. Now that is fucked up! I am extremely hurt and disappointed that no one called me.
I mean would a phone call have been too much to ask? I didn’t receive one single phone call, not a solitary whisper, not one single offer from my so called friends. Even if you didn’t really want me, a feinted offer would have been nice just to make me feel good.
Mac, your team splits up and you go to Harris? What happened Mac…why didn’t you call your buddy Mert? Are you still pissed that I was more accurate with my picks last year? Why Mac, Why? Don’t you remember this?
How about all those warm summer nights cruising in the jeep with the top off and sipping Mocha Caps with Big Ern, Me, and Ian? What happened Mac…why didn’t you call and say: “Hey Mert, Heard ya lost Howard and Costello this year, need a Blue Chip outfielder?”
And Big Ernie what the fuck brother? You couldn’t put a word in for me with Artie to get me a spot on the bench for his “Master Race Softball Team” of genetically enhanced monsters? I thought me and you was me and you? Nothing, not even an e-mail saying: “Hey Mert, sorry about the Pub…come sit the bench for the VFW, I’m sure Artie won’t mind.”
And Artie what’s up my brother…I’m not good enough to sit the bench and do the books for the mighty Orange Crush? Now that’s fucked up! 
Lemdawg, no love from you either? No, you decided to go play for Moulton? After all that free press I gave you…and the Fantasia sound tracks we used to play for you.
Now Rob I offered a spot to and he flat out refused it to go play for Club Joques. No love for a former PNA teammate?
Not even a call from my boys from the Stallyns. Hey Mert, we could use a coach and a team photographer…but nothing.
So Harris gets Mac, VFW picks up Dutilly and Riley, Crowe gets big Jay Jackson and Chris Knight, and not one of these guys calls Mert and offers to play for him. Wow, I’ve got absolutely no yank in this fucking league at all.
Even the Little Guy gets an offer from my boys at Patriot Oil, but fuck Mertog. Wow!
The only offer that I got was to go to Bothelo’s from Smitty…now that’s why I love Smitty so much, he is the only one who cared enough to make an offer for Mert’s services.
I’m just so pissed I could spit!
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| Ryno
March 16, 2008
4:52:19 AM
Entry #: 2658393
| As a part tinme once-a-week-motherfucker I can't speak for the PNA anymore but I am sure we would have made a nice toasty spot for you on our bench.
In the Ernie picture look to the right. The blonde has big tits. Maybe I am just seeing things because I haven't seen tits in weeks.
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| RyMan
March 16, 2008
10:20:29 AM
Entry #: 2658506
| Had we at Patrio Oil been aware of Mr. Mertog's availability we would have surely made an incredibly competitive offer for his managerial services. Joe Torre style.
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| slezak3
March 16, 2008
11:01:22 AM
Entry #: 2658556
| Mert,
On behalf of the crowe bar we deeply regret and apologize for not putting together a package for you earlier. It was a incredably busy free agency period with tons of prospects available and even tons of people not available, but we pursued them anyway. WE ALL feel so terrible that words can't explain, sort of like forgetting your anniversary or some awful equivalent. The worst thing is we still have extra food, plenty of free beer, a few thousand dollars in petty cash, millions of gallons of oil vouchers, and at least, to my knowledge, three ready and willing salad tossers on staff at anytime, so the rest of the free agents or contracted players, HOLLA
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| Uncle Mertog
March 16, 2008
12:36:16 PM
Entry #: 2658652
| I just wanted to show you guys what you'll be missing on your sidelines this year as I cheer my guys on. Just remember I could have been doing this for your team!
Don't hate!
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| RyMan
March 16, 2008
1:03:38 PM
Entry #: 2658683
| Unfortunately that would conflict with the strict dress code here at Patriot Oil. We wish Mertog the best on his (her?) future endeavors.
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| Uncle Mertog
March 16, 2008
1:53:56 PM
Entry #: 2658744
| I guess it's just going to be one of those days for  me.
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| Ryno
March 16, 2008
8:55:35 PM
Entry #: 2659276
| A fantastic Planet Mertog. With the exception of my being in Stage 4, I agree with you 100% on everything.
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| Uncle Mertog
March 16, 2008
11:32:19 PM
Entry #: 2659539
| Thanks Ryno I appreciate it, however I know that there will be backlash for it. I just think there are alot of guys like you, me Fiskey and many others who still want to play but just can't make the commitment during the week.
I myself work nights and have a daughter in med school, 1 in high school and one in grade school. Between all the events that revolve aroudn the kids and work, I just can't play more than once a week. So I am a Once-A-Week Mutha Fucker.
I also go out and recruit players who are like minded in the sense that they are all older and will only play here. That translates into a team that will be there every single Sunday with no forfeits which in turns means that the other team won't be pissed because we didn't show.
I do have guys who play in a few leagues, but I also have enough guys on the roster to cover for when they won't be here due to tourneys and what not as well as guys who have work conflicts, vacations and "THE WIFE" to appease from time to time.
I think this is a great league since we make it work for both the Once-a-week muther fuckers and the guys who play everywhere. It's the managers responsibility to make sure you have coverage when tourneys arise. I know that many will not agree withe, but thats okay I don't bruise to easily. Except when no one calls to make me an offer!
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| Uncle Mertog
March 17, 2008
2:49:35 AM
Entry #: 2659680
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| EW33
March 17, 2008
2:56:20 AM
Entry #: 2659681
| I'm not far behind from being a "once a week motherfucker" myself. I love playing but the knees do not and my work schedule sucks to work around. Pretty close to becoming a sunday morning only guy myself.
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| Uncle Mertog
March 17, 2008
11:07:28 AM
Entry #: 2660090
| I'm starting to feel like Mr. Glass myself. Constantly fighting off injuries and battling the "WIFE" so I can play on Sunday. Heed my words you young guys who play in multiple leagues...marriage spells softball death. When you only have one day to play you cherish it, it becomes the most important thing in your life, your refuge so to speak.
There is something to be said for that too I suppose. Having something to look forward to on Sunday is a good thing.
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| Mac
March 18, 2008
3:21:03 PM
Entry #: 2662936
| Mert if i would have known u were gonna be in need of a team we woulda just taken u and kept jr's haha u coulda been the glue that held us together. i dont have your number to call. the jeep always just magically appears in front of my house and i jump in with the mocca caps and we go cruising hahah
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| Uncle Mertog
March 18, 2008
11:44:52 PM
Entry #: 2664013
| Mac, actually I wasn't in need of a team but I would have loved to have signed a blue chip outfielder such as yourself. Losing Howard and Costello was a huge blow, so I needed to scoop me a couple of outfielders to replace them.
Technically if Jr's didn't fold I would have been on the outside looking in and I definately would have needed a place to park my fat ass, keep the books, take photos and write my stupid little column. Thats all I need to make me happy!
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