 |
Author |
TOPIC: Week 10 Post Game |
|
| Ryno
June 30, 2008
10:24:50 AM
Entry #: 2812537
| Obviously I missed some earlier stuff because I was playing but here is what I did see after the games.
Artiekarate was shitfaced. I mean really shitfaced. But he was behaving himself.
Hodde apparently had pink toenails. I thankfully did not see them but Mrs. Hodde confirmed.
Mertog really wanted to have me as a drinking partner yesterday. Probably needed a replacement due to the circumstances below. I resisted his temptations.
Smitty was spotted leave the bar. Kate was leading the way and Smitty did not stop or make eye contact when he said hello to me. Head down and following. I suspect Mertog will somehow get blamed even if he did nothing wrong.
Ryman did not hang around after the games. I think his vagina was sore.
First inning, first game. Chip flies over the fence in RC to go after a ball that was out by 50 feet. No one on either team is surprised.
Any other good stories that I missed before or after?
|
|
| Smitty
June 30, 2008
11:02:01 AM
Entry #: 2812607
| this week hodde was volunteering the information about his toes and them being pink. even offered free pictures
and ryno, lets not forget i was there for 3 hours. was kate walking in front me when i left? yes. was she leading the way? no.
|
|
| OAWMF
June 30, 2008
11:02:03 AM
Entry #: 2812608
| 
|
| Brian Stevens
June 30, 2008
11:11:47 AM
Entry #: 2812626
| sunburns.
|
|
| RyMan
June 30, 2008
11:25:47 AM
Entry #: 2812649
| My vagina was fine, Ryno. Just got a little sand in there. I didn't think there was after game festivities, the crowd was long gone by the time the games were finished. I got to mingle during the games so its all good.
|
|
| gopher
June 30, 2008
11:38:21 AM
Entry #: 2812680
| Ian
I was looking through my pictures and I have one with you and her together in it if you need any proof that you were in charge. I can forward that over to you if you need it
|
|
| Smitty
June 30, 2008
11:40:23 AM
Entry #: 2812684
| yea gopher send them all over ill post them in the pictures section
|
| Uncle Mertog
June 30, 2008
2:51:02 PM
Entry #: 2813036
| Ryno I was definitely trying to get you to be a drinking partner yesterday, however you showed amazing restraint to my great dismay. Rob Raymond stepped up to the challenge and was a great drinking partner for the last couple of evenings. Rob and I have not been drinking together this much since our trip to Chicago many, many years ago. I had nearly forgotten how much fun Rob is to drink with.
Despite his being affiliated with a low class bunch of scumbags like ASA, I am willing to overlook that fact since he himself is a great guy and a terrific drinking partner. Although he is a professional shit stirrer.
Hodde on the other hand sucks as a drinking partner and I have to position myself behind a pole, barstool, table or any other solid object that protects my chuggies from his brutal attacks. I have had my balls assaulted by Hodde approximately 5 times in the last few nights and they will probably turn as blue as his toenails.
It seems that I made a terrible error in judgment when I arrived at the PNA the other night. I had been to the gym earlier that day and hit legs really hard. Hodde asked why I was walking funny and I told him about my leg routine. Out of nowhere he yells: “Falcon Punch” and blasts me in the thigh, which nearly drops me due to the fact I am already cramping. For those of you who hit legs hard you know that you can barely get on and off the toilet after doing legs and here is Hodde punching me in the legs.
Now mind you Ian, Mac, Beaver, OAWMF, Stuntman, Rob Raymond, are all in attendance and all of them are wincing every time he punches me near the sack. A few times he misses my legs and hits me right in the balls since he is absolutely piss drunk and his aim sucks. Rob Raymond just says: “Choke him out Mert I want to see you choke his ass out.” Beaver just shakes his head in disbelief since he is a gentleman but even he can’t believe that I am taking all of this in stride. Then my supposedly good friend Ian says, “Mert didn’t you leave a voice mail on my machine saying that if he whacked you in the sack one more time you were going to fuck him up?” This only fires Hodde up even more and now he is taunting me every time I go to get a beer, glaring at me and showing me his fist. Kissing his knuckles and saying:”Falcon Punch…..Falcon Punch mother fucker”. Ironically me and Hodde are the last two standing at the PNA Friday night and we close the joint down and have a long conversation, not any of which Hodde can remember, thus asking me yesterday….”Mert do you remember anything you said to me outside the PNA the other night?”
Fast forward to Club Joques yesterday, it all resumes again…Hodde has some sort of fascination with punching me in the junk…and takes every opportunity he can to do so. Rob Raymond is stirring the pot again and in front of everyone in attendance including multiple players from Joques, Patriot, PNA, and Artie….Rob yells out: “Mert you really are a bald headed pussy”. The crowd responds: “OOOOOooooooh” The silence is deafening as everyone waits to see how I will respond. I don’t react at all and Chrissy (Hoddes wife) has now taken it upon herself to protect me and acts like a human shield for the rest of the evening. She gives me her blessing to beat the living shit out of Hodde, but how do I beat up a guy who has his toenails painted pink, is piss drunk, and has a restraining order on softballs.
For at least a few brief moments Hodde turns his attention away from me and focuses in on Artie. Artie doesn’t want to play Hodde’s little game and warns him politely that if Hodde hits him in the sack the two are going to dance. Hodde being of not so sound mind at this point rolls the dice and takes a poke at Arties junk, missing by two inches at best. Artie just shakes his head and says: “You’re still alive just by inches”. Hodde is at least smart enough to heed the warning and its back to fucking with Mertog again.
Now Chrissy has taken it upon herself to become my personal bodyguard all evening and this is embarrassing since she is just a tiny thing, but I defiantly appreciate the save. Rob Raymond is now yelling: “Mert choke him out, choke him out”, Chrissy is whispering in my ear: “You’re a lot bigger than him kick his ass.” And some of Joques players are saying “Mert leave him in a big pile of Hodde flesh right here on the floor.”
As for Ian, well let’s just say that Ryno is correct when he said he was led out of there and he looked like a puppy that just had his ass slapped for peeing on the carpet. My games end and I call Ian to see if the big PNA/Patriot game is still going, he tells me: “Mert you gotta get down here, everybody is here.” Just then I hear a brief scuffle and the phone has apparently been taken away from Smitty by Kate. “Mertog, why are you calling my boyfriend before you show up?” I have no response other than: “Uhhh, I was making sure you weren’t going to be there first.” WRONG ANSWER!
So I show up at Joques and do the meet and greet thing for a few before going over to Ian to see if he needs another beer. Kate glares at me that burns a hole into my soul. Ian wants one, bad…and looks at her for permission. “Uhhh, ummmm well we are going to be here for a few more minutes the game isn’t over yet, we have time for just one and then I’ll get you out of here.” She looks at him with utter disdain and simply says: “FINE”.
For those of you who don’t know, it’s not fine, that is woman code for fuck you and your friends you big douche bag. So I bring Ian over a cold one and then walk away slowly. Only minutes later I see Ian doing a Bataan Death March to his car, shoulders slumped, head down, totally beaten and dejected. It won’t be long before he is no longer playing ball and is home painting her toenails on Sunday. It won’t be long no until he is just another softball causality.
I must confirm all reports that Artie was a complete Gentleman and it was a pleasure to have a few brews with him this weekend.
|
|
| Ryno
June 30, 2008
7:47:25 PM
Entry #: 2813500
| I saw that crowd and knew if I had more than 1 beer I was in for a long night. Rob Raymond has a way of making you think he is not going to stay long and 8 hours later you are singing Bette Midler tunes with him. Hodde was falcon punch crazy and after a few beers I would have given him a cunt punt. Artie was behaving but he is always teetering on the edge of insanity. I was wary that when Mrs. Mertog came in to drag you out, you would shift the blame right over to me and she would have been falcon punching me. Jay Campbell escaped the henhouse for a while and you know when a man with a bunch of kids that doesn't get out much, gets out, a long night is in store.
Smitty no use trying to be macho and make excuses and act like you are still in charge. We all know where your life is heading because we have been there. Mertog builds coy ponds, EW is a glorified babysitter that has to drink at work, and I had to get a second job to support various pedicure, hair, and shopping habits that the wife has. Pack it in brother and join the ranks. At least go down with your dignity.
|
|
| Uncle Mertog
June 30, 2008
11:33:39 PM
Entry #: 2813848
| Either that or he can put on his track shoes and run like the fucking wind.
|
|
| Ryno
July 1, 2008
1:17:45 AM
Entry #: 2813944
| There are 2 things that make Sundays ok for me when I am not working. The wife usually is working, and she only knows how to get to the VFW and Foster field. As long as I avoid those spots she can't find me.
However since Ian has already blown that and taken Kate on the Coventry field and bar tour, the only advise I can give him now is this:
It is always better to beg for forgivness than to ask for permission.
|
|
| Smitty
July 1, 2008
1:58:17 AM
Entry #: 2813963
| i'm sure i can get a hold of her and give her directions to all fields as well as the pna, harris, crowe bar, and all of the other coventry establishments
|
|
| EW33
July 1, 2008
2:08:40 AM
Entry #: 2813966
| Since we are giving Ian advice let me add to the list:
If she's as cool as she has made it seem during the various exchanges we have had maybe you should get the ring and get it done ASAP before she gets Lasik surgery.
But there is one final question that you must answer before taking the above advice .....
We all know she's hot but can she cook? If the answer is no get another cuz the hottness will only last so long but good cooking is for a lifetime.
|
|
| stuntman
July 1, 2008
9:55:21 AM
Entry #: 2814158
| Ian, the best advice my father gave me: "Make sure her mother can cook because that's what you'll be eating".
I lucked out, I hope you do.
|
| Brian Stevens
July 1, 2008
10:24:03 AM
Entry #: 2814206
| Kate must be able to cook. Ian is the only guy in the league getting fatter faster than me.
|
|
| Smitty
July 1, 2008
12:04:58 PM
Entry #: 2814358
| you guys are hilarious....
standings update
Botelho 17-1
Patriot 16-2
Moulton 14-2
VFW 14-2
PNA 13-5
Crowe 11-5
Harris 9-7
Rochs 8-8
Jogues 5-11
Eaton 5-11
APlus 4-12
Pub 4-12
shamrock 4-12
delpadre 4-14
stallyns 3-13
CCFD 1-13
|
|
| gopher
July 1, 2008
12:13:07 PM
Entry #: 2814369
| This looks like Ian is trying to Call Uncle Mertog for back up
|
|
| Smitty
July 1, 2008
12:30:49 PM
Entry #: 2814395
| all the pictures are up in the picture section.
|
|
| Brian Stevens
July 1, 2008
12:49:32 PM
Entry #: 2814436
| ok...camera doesn't lie...I am still out pacing Ian on the weight gain.
|
|
| gopher
July 1, 2008
12:56:12 PM
Entry #: 2814454
| I wonder what must be going through Ian's mind right now...why is Gopher taking my picture...or does Gopher know that The PNA PIMP MOBLE is going to be in this shot....HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM
That ride is a sweet BABE Magnet
|
|
| OAWMF
July 1, 2008
1:05:34 PM
Entry #: 2814473
| gopher email?????
|
|
| Uncle Mertog
July 1, 2008
1:07:35 PM
Entry #: 2814476
| That Van looks like it has rolled over a few mines on some main road in Iraq!
|
|
| gopher
July 1, 2008
1:33:21 PM
Entry #: 2814511
| rbrodeur@towerstream.com is gopher contact
|
|
| EW33
July 2, 2008
1:20:04 AM
Entry #: 2815405
| Is that the PNA dwarfs van? The little girl he tried to pick up must have been feisty and kicked out his window.
|
| Mac
July 2, 2008
10:11:41 PM
Entry #: 2816592
| week 10 while ryno and the pna and chip and the patriot boys were playing, there was some interesting convo's goin on such as did u see chips catch, did u see how far kirby hit that, why is ryman standing next to us while his team is playin, haah jk ryman but it was funny u shoulda been bringing beers to the patriot during the games that might have put u guys over the top. two great games tho, ryno im sorry i bounced a bit early to get some food at the harris but i was cheering for your scoop at first and your trademark hitting to the right side. and for the record that van is todd's (pna pitcher) and it may have been blasted by some mines and a few cannon balls thru the side. But that van was a great ride to have while at the pna tournament last year down in pa, and as much as the young guys didnt think it would make it all the way there and back he led the way and went faster than i thought any van could/ should haha.
|
|
| lb4lb
July 3, 2008
6:04:27 PM
Entry #: 2817656
| for the record, Katie-bear is a great cook. Seriously, 100% old school Italian..recipes handed down through many generations. And, she's smart. Couple of degrees etc etc. And, she was Allstate softball..did you know that? You could look it up. I have seen the newspaper articles. I know I know...I am thinking the same thing. Even Ians mom is thinking what you are thinking...Smitty is dating waywayway UP...then again, we all are
|
|
| Ryno
July 3, 2008
6:48:49 PM
Entry #: 2817716
| He's finished. We date down and marry up. Natural evolution of man.
|
|
| RyMan
July 3, 2008
11:29:43 PM
Entry #: 2818000
| If you remember, Mac, I had Chip's permission to leave fish hill early to do a meet and greet. If I didn't bust my "K" finger from typing Kirby's name so much I'd have been down on the bench waiting for my one at bat a game while keeping a perfect book, and I woulda came up between games like I'd planned. But I was no good to my team (due to injury instead of ability for a change) on the field, so I felt it best to go up in the parking lot and spread the goodwill of Patriot Oil as their proudly self-proclaimed team representitive.
I would've brought my team beers, but they're far to tense during games to enjoy them. I was making regular trips to Maine during the game to bring Kirby water straight from the poland springa
|
|
| Smitty
July 4, 2008
12:00:51 AM
Entry #: 2818021
| since we are all honest on here.... the highlight of sunday was getting out of my car at club jogues, ryman introducing me to dj, and then i spent a few more minutes at the car.
when i decide to leave car, i see ryman at the bed of a superduty pick up truck. i can't figure it out because kirby isn't playing.
sure enough its kirby, taping his hands and ryman chatting away.........
|
|
| RyMan
July 4, 2008
1:23:39 AM
Entry #: 2818068
| Im glad you could get a kick out of that Smitty. I talk to him all the time at the games and he has no problems with it. I think he gets a kick out of how much I love softball but im learning more from him then I think I could learn from anyone in the league. I do, however, feel like im his pet softball player sometimes. But whatever, he's a stand up guy and we share a common interest. So lay off!
|
|
| Smitty
July 4, 2008
2:31:46 AM
Entry #: 2818097
| ryman..it was just a highlight....really, im jealous......just like everyone else
|
|
| Uncle Mertog
July 5, 2008
1:10:43 AM
Entry #: 2818748
| Yeah lay off Smitty, or I'll ...I'll...I'll...stomp my feet like a little bitch and tell you a second time.
|
|
| RyMan
July 5, 2008
6:38:28 AM
Entry #: 2818786
| You tell him Mertog!
|
