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TOPIC: the training continues....... |
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| RyMan
August 8, 2008
8:30:39 PM
Entry #: 2863338
| First off, Kirby would like to apologize for cutting a hole in the sky and causing the rain today. He hopes it didn't ruin anyones plans.
Another day of batting practice with Kirby at Reality Check Field in Cumberland. Brought fellow Patriot Oiler DJ "elementary my dear" Watson. We drove up through a downpour. We hadn't been told BP was cancelled so we went anyways. We got to the field and there was a hole in the sky with a patch of good weather directly over our field. Kirby said he put God himself in a headlock and gave him a mean noogie until he agreed to give us a couple of hours of nice weather to hit in.
Has anyone ever seen an ASA (Always Stiff Always) bat break in over the course of 4 or so swings? I did. The man actually seemed human for a couple of swing. Then he hit a screamer back at me for thinking he's human. Thank whoever again for the invention of the L screen. Kirby put several softballs into orbit as is to be expected. One was estimated at 450'. DJ was sittin on deck with a big schoolgirl smile on his face. The funniest part though is even Kirby gets a kick out of his hitting. "Hey buddy, look at THAT one!". Either that or he gets a kick out of us getting a kick out of his hitting.
I wanna quickly go on record as saying Kirby isa much nicer guy that most people seem to paint him. He gets intense during games and that can rub people the wrong way. But he expects a lot when he's played at the level he has for so long. He's here to abuse softballs and help Patriot Oil get better, but gets frustrated when we don't help ourselves.
So then DJ and myself hit. If you can call it hitting after Kirby was up there with his ridiculousness. He's just a jerk, that's what I've decided. But anyways, DJ and I were makin a game of who could hit the fence out of the 2 of us. I think I sveral hoped it once or twice, but Kirby told me I hit the ball further than Hodges does which is fine with me! Take that Ry!!
Well we had all taken our swings and packed up to leave. Kirby put DJ in his bat bag by mistake (apparently it happens often). We got DJ out and off we went. As we drove off we heard God yell down to Kirby "cool if I turn the rain back on?" to which Kirby retorted "go ahead you fuck!". Such a good sense of humor.
Well no one will believe me, but Kirby will more than likely not be there sunday against the mighty VFW. Tournament in connecticut. Im thinkin I should move to conn. Seems like there's a lot of softball goin on over there. Im hoping Chip will turn retarded and give me the 3 spot in the lineup in place of Kirby, but I doubt he will because if he did I think Vernet would shit his softball pants and Galloway would just have a coronary and die.
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| Hinske
August 9, 2008
9:55:00 AM
Entry #: 2863610
| wow do you swallow when your done or just wipe it off your chin.
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| demonti
August 9, 2008
10:15:51 AM
Entry #: 2863623
| hey ryman, just got done reading that fuckin gay novel you just wrote and after the vomit smell has cleared around my pc, i have come to the realization that you are a dingleberry hanging from kirbys asshair and you count the seconds between the next time he wipes his ass so you can get closer to his nutsack and maybe even get a glimpse at his piece. just so you know, gay marriage has been legalized for homos like yourself rite across the border in mass and i suggest you rant that spew of nonsense at your wedding so every one who doesnt visit this site can share in your dingleberryness. wicked gay!
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| fiskey
August 9, 2008
11:20:05 AM
Entry #: 2863664
| note to self: (DO NOT OPEN ANOTHER POST AUTHORED BY RYMAN)
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| RyMan
August 9, 2008
11:35:31 AM
Entry #: 2863679
| First things first, I appreciate all the insight into the gay culture from our resident butt-buddies Hinske and Demonti. Anyone who's curious about what it takes to be fags could learn a lot from you 2 im sure. I thought we weren't gonna hear from the Crowe guys until you won another series. You beat Botelho's, rantin and a ravin and a spewin for a week straight. Lose 2 to Harris.........silence. Until now when you're gonna try to come on here and try to bully me when you still fail to realize I don't respect you, thusly I don't respect your opinion.
Hinske, spit or swallow what exactly? If you're talking about what I think you are, that's really gross and I don't understand how you can do it. Is it an acquired taste?
Demonti. Here's the thing, friend, and im going to type slow for ya. The little squiggily shapes under the forum topics are called "letters". When you see the letter shaped like this >RyMan<, don't read it because I wrote it. You bitch and moan about stuff I write, but always seem to be the first to comment on it. If you hated it that much you would ignore it completely. Im starting to think you like my posts and may actually like me! But im sorry, I don't swing that way and couldn't never destroy what you and Hinske have. Im not that cruel.
Im sorry to hear about you vomitting on your computer, I hope the damage is minimal. I can't help but feel partly responsible. Although, I can't take all the blame because im sure while you were reading you probably had an IV bag full of (insert generic alcohol brand here) attached directly to your vein.
I did like the dingleberry reference though. That was pretty funny. Good luck tomorrow guys! Shoot me both of your emails. Email them to me if you don't want em up on here. Ryman@tmail.com
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| Ry
August 9, 2008
11:52:08 AM
Entry #: 2863689
| Ryman, Please this is what gets you in sooo deep(throat)! I must say i like hitting with kirby but "Do Not" worship him like you do! And im sure nobody on here wants to hear about what you did on Friday afternoon! As far as you hitting further then me, i could care less, lets compare our crooked batting averages! But if you really want to settle things, we can!, we could spar and randy fiske would be our judge or we could have a little hitting contest(for money of course) because if im not getting anything than its not worth my time! Cant you get an interesting post like hey guys i hit with Kirby, and after that on the way home DJ and i stopped by some asian spa cause our muscles were sore and got this massage, and well, it was great! The men there were great massueses!!!What a happy ending! Ill bet you go back for more! Demonti i dont know you but you are correct that is gay! You and i would get along in ryman conversations! Ryman you are pathetic!!
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| roczabinske
August 9, 2008
12:13:08 PM
Entry #: 2863699
| hardly looking for respect from a guy with such great talent as you. my posting has been limited this week due to travel and other quality things that us guys with jobs do. Thus the low posting for me this week. Unfortunatly we did lose two to the harris boys but i wasnt there so i will claim that i was the missing link.
As far as your obsession with kirby its realy creapy dude. i mean the guy is great no doubt but i think as big as he is he has to be sleeping with a knife under his pillow for fear your in his room sniffing his cleats and wearing his jock on your head.
On a side note kirby went to take a shower and noticed a skid mark in his underwear oh wait nope thats just ryman getting his fill.
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| Uncle Mertog
August 9, 2008
12:29:36 PM
Entry #: 2863708
| Ryman...stop posting. That's all you have to do to spare you and more importantly, your teammates from any further embarassment.
For as long as I can remember, Baxter's Teams flew under the radar and everyone loved them. Since you started posting everyone has turned on Patriot like an angry mob. The topic of every conversation is "Hey you playing Patriot this week..fucking smash them and shut Ryman up."
You are a good guy Ryman, but in all honesty...nobody wants to hear it anymore, just shut the fuck up already.
I had a few beers with your teammates and they sat there and cringed at the very mention of your name, they are embarassed by you and want you to stop. So if you won't do it for everyone on the board, do it at least for your poor teammates.
I definately understand that you want your game to improve and Kirby is certainly a guy who can help to imrove your swing...but the endless Kirby worship is fucking pathetic. Carrying his bat bag for him is pathetic. Taping your hands to emulate him is pathetic.
Try learning from Kirby...but for the love of God...keep it to yourself. This last post of yours is something that a teen aged girl would write in her diary, not something a "grown-man" approaching 30 would write on an internet forum.
I'm not part of the angry mob, like I said..your a likeable guy, but if you were on my team I would have to cut you loose to save the rest of the guys the embarassment that you create for the rest of them.
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| M.C.B
August 9, 2008
12:37:48 PM
Entry #: 2863712
| I spent my Friday rolling bats and being interrogated by the FBI and the Department of Homeland security for connections to crime syndicates out of New York, money laundering, weekends with the girls from America's Next Top Model, Chips stat keeping, a couple of nights with Lindsay Lohan, sorry guys she's into chicks now, wondering if Ryman can hit a fence on the roll with a blue dot extra, terrorism links, weekend trips to Brazil, etc. All the normal stuff. HOWEVER, my day wasn't complete until I read about Kirby's batting practice with Ryman. Mertog, I'm in Conn. this weekend too but will make our games.
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| lb4lb
August 9, 2008
12:38:59 PM
Entry #: 2863715
| Ryman..I think that the posts are very well crafted...written as well as Mert's stuff. And the Kirby subject is something that you find easy to write about..like Mert writes about " the wife" or Ian. When the Kirby well is dry then I am sure that you will write about something else. I understand. Just hit two HRs against VFW will ya. As Kirby says " preparation" and " execution"...see ball hit ball. Never mind the chirping from the other dugout.
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| Ryno
August 9, 2008
7:34:55 PM
Entry #: 2863920
| Even though I may have coined the phrase "Kirby Worship" earlier this season and scolded Ryman about his Kirby Worship in an effort (that failed) to prevent him from making a further ass of himself, I now find myself enjoying when he posts this crap.
Nothing that I like about his writing mind you, but I love the responses he gets.
I look forward to meeting some of these Crowe guys that I don't know yet tomorrow so I can put some faces to these names.
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| Ryno
August 9, 2008
7:36:41 PM
Entry #: 2863923
| MCB who are you playing with in CT this weekend?
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| Uncle Mertog
August 9, 2008
11:27:20 PM
Entry #: 2864042
| Ryno he is playing Black Jack at Foxwoods!
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| Ryno
August 10, 2008
8:18:24 AM
Entry #: 2864146
| He is even more of a threat to not make it today if he is on a roll and getting so many free drinks.
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| M.C.B
August 10, 2008
6:59:53 PM
Entry #: 2864607
| Made it in time Ryman, free drinks and all. Watched your game. You guys hit the ball well today, but the VFW is just a powerhouse.
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| RyMan
August 10, 2008
9:18:39 PM
Entry #: 2864738
| You should've come introduce yourself M.C.B. I now agree with hodde, VFW's gotta go. They didn't have a single weak spot in that entire lineup. Buncha classy guys too. Lots of fun to get destroyed by. Some stellar defensive players there too. Their short fielder robbed us of a handful of hits and their 3rd baseman was flawless.
They can hit the crap out of the ball too. My god can they hit. 2 solo homers the whole series (I think it was 2). Ernie Wright is the fuckin dude. You hit like a monster buddy. 1 hopped the right centerfield fence. Dutilly, hope your ankle is ok. I know it was probably sore from our footrace to first.
Artie, great team you got over there. Lotta fun playin ya.
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| Uncle Mertog
August 10, 2008
11:15:05 PM
Entry #: 2864858
| Holy shit Ryman....excellent post!
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| Ryno
August 10, 2008
11:42:05 PM
Entry #: 2864886
| Yeah. Where did this moment of normal come from? Which fence was 1 hopped anyway? I would have 3 hopped Washington Oak but the RF caught it at the 250 mark.
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| EW33
August 11, 2008
4:46:13 AM
Entry #: 2864967
| Ryman was actually quiet all day despite several attempts by myself to get under his skin. "No one with a mullet should be shouting out instructions" "Hit it to first it looks like he cant catch a cold". Nothing really got you going. Seems like Ryman is kind of a quiet boy when not behind his computer. Patriot guys are from what i saw a good group of guys who quietly went about their business (even ryman).
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| Hinske
August 11, 2008
8:11:42 AM
Entry #: 2865030
| oh no earnie you should have missed this game ......the 3 page disortation on how ryman wants to cuddle with big earn is do in in about 15 minutes. with dutilly a close 20min behind but he's use to being behind earnie.
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| EW33
August 11, 2008
9:00:13 AM
Entry #: 2865084
| no no hinske you got that ass backwards...... im the pitcher dutilly is the catcher. Get your bun buddy pairings straight.... i mean gay .... oh fuck.
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| Hinske
August 11, 2008
9:02:33 AM
Entry #: 2865085
| no it was a dig at dutilly for losing to you in a race. he claims that you barely beat him and that he is the second fastest man on the planet.
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| gopher
August 11, 2008
9:04:35 AM
Entry #: 2865087
| Sounds like Ryman is laying the ground work down for a spot on the Mighty VFW amd i can prove it. In the picture below you can clearly see that Ryman is trying to convince Artie that he can be an Asset and not just and ass to the team. Duttily doesn't quite believe it though by the look on his face
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| RyMan
August 11, 2008
11:04:03 AM
Entry #: 2865257
| Actually, gopher, I remember when this exact picture was taken and the conversation that was occuring. The caption goes like this:
RyMan: So wait, Dutilly. Ernie was holding your head like this?
Dutilly: Yeah I was orally violated, im very ashamed.
Artie: Ern used to grab Dutilly by the hair like this, which is why Bob shaves his head now.
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