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February 18, 2018
9:20:53 PM
Entry #: 4242865
| 1. Chumps – this team is loaded with firepower and boasts one of the best defenders in the league. Normally, this is the makeup of a clear cut preseason No. 1 squad. Then again, Hunt is at the helm. One wonders what astounding and creative ways the curse of Brad Morton can present itself. Last season, the curse tore Chumps big man Brian Tolleson’s ACL. Will it rear its ugly head again? There is just too much talent on this team for Hunt to screw it up. All he has to do is stand in the corner and launch threes which fits his cardio vascular offseason training perfectly. Josh E. will be the next Chris Jackson. The only man Vanwingerdenmoster is scared of is Pepe, who is like a mouse terrifying a Vanelephant.
2. Air Raid – With this much offensive talent, it would be easy to put Air Raid ahead of the Chumps. But upon a deeper look, Air Raid doesn’t match up well against the Chumps. Tony has to try and score on Davis and we all know that Reggie owns Rogers. He shuts down every time Reggie is on him. That being said, this team will run and score. Kocher, David Craig and Andy should fit into Rogers “let it fly and look later” style of play.
3. First World Problems – After winning the BBL championship last season, Old Man Zwaydk is driving Ferrari’s and chasing younger tail. He had his eye all offseason on younger, frat boys Michael O’rourke, Travis and Jordan. Then again, I just don’t think the offseason conditioning program was kind to FWP players. It’s only a matter of time before they show up drunk to a game and old man Zwaydk starts screaming at them to get off his lawn and quit pulling off burnouts in Mt Island Fitness parking lot. I can see a lot of, “You millennials don’t know the game! All you do is shoot three’s and post your highlights on Instagram! How many times do I have to tell you to open up and roll after you set a pick!” I can see Jay Old School Barnes nodding his head agreement, while the frat boys just roll their eyes. Marriages with a 30 year age gap never last.
4. BVM – Dontino is trying to recreate the magic from BVM’s first season by forgiving first round pick Kenneth White Curry Hewitt of his crimes against the BVM franchise. Dontino was livid at Kenneth for getting injured the night before the BBL finals and missing the game. But then, Dontino was a hoop group No. 1 pick and ironically injured his calf the week before the finals. Maybe he was too hard on Kenneth. Tack on two seasons assisting Art Vanwingerden and Dontino ran back into the arms of his former first rounder. But is Dontino getting what he expected? This isn’t the sexy and skinny white Curry that took the league by storm. More of a big boned, craftier scorer. The key to this team is how well the Trivette brothers mix in with BVM’s “let it fly Kenneth and we will go get it like dogs chasing a Frisbee” philosophy.
5. No Mercy – Steve Maggs is definitely switching it up this season. He turned his back on his friends, the Trivette Boys, to draft two high scoring guards in Jed and Matt Heagle. He even passed on Cliff. Sure, Maggs surrounded himself with mentally tough scorers, but teams are going to kill this squad on the boards. No Mercy is five guards and Lee. That’s a lot of pressure on the No Mercy big man. He’s got to bang against Vanwingerdonmoster, Chris Davis, Farrington, Fink, and Rogers. That’s a lot to ask. That’s why they are the fifth seed. Then again, it works for the Golden State Warriors. But let’s be honest, this isn’t the Golden State Warriors.
6. KMR – Everyone’s preseason worst pick. A clean sweep of the captains’ seventh best team from the post draft picks. This team is lacking a little offense. It’s going to need David Williams to average 30 points a game to win. I think he only has the stamina to scored 24 points a game. Any more and he has to grab Raz’s jersey to get up and down the court. I can just see cliff looking over his shoulder yelling, “#*$# ! you Fat @#($#! Try to (#*$# catch up with us!!!! I know Raz will never get tired of chasing Williams and Denny’s 30-foot misses – or handling their drying cleaning and post-game protein shakes. The question is how long will Cliff want to do it while putting up with Raz’s pregame inspiration videos? This is the Glue Guy’s biggest test ever. I foresee a lot of #($(#(#!!!!!!
7. Godfather – At first, I thought KMR deserved the shame of the bottom of the basement. But then I thought better of it. Art took over the draft as soon as Michael was drafted. He didn’t even wait until his own name came off the board in the third round to grab the reigns! Pick after pick, I could see Tom just shaking his head. T-Rex Tommy had lost control before the second round. The results were disastrous. To put it in perspective, GM Art Vanwingerden kept his same team from last year but traded Rebound-a-holic Bob Dontino for sharpshooter Tom Villanti. Art basically kept the same team after it won just two games last season and was bounced early in the BBL playoffs. Do you really feel like this team is better with Tom than with Dontino? I don’t. Metrolina stock is down!
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