Ed:

Coke won the draft lottery and selected Colin “clamp god” Mclinden number one overall. Clearly the best player in the league he is a 3 year varsity starter and can absolutely clamp anyone he wants to. After that we selected Cooper “banned from the library” Phillips. Following that we got the seal of the draft by drafting Hunter “Chavez” Halloway. Incredible value in the 3rd round getting a lights out shooter and a man who always has a cart on him. Next we took Tyler “young dad bank” Horgan a smooth 2 way player with a nice midrange game. Following that we selected Andrew “to your room” blodgett this was a player that was drafted on the account of derbs. Following those two we got Yanuk “pot” Levande who for all I know may be a terrible player but certainly a great man and will add to the team chem. Next we got Gavin “innocent” Wyland a man who we stole in the 7th round because we all thought the man was heading to the state pen. Finally we got Nick “tall kid” Chimento who I know nothing about. The team is coached by a brilliant offensive mind in Alec Saluga and captained by the wonder twins, Gum and Ed. Coke is a threat to win it all this year.

Gum:

Best Team in the League. Best coach in the league. Best captains in the league. Best player in the league. Best second round pick in the league. Best felon in the league. Best dad bank in the league. Best carts in the league. Best Gloria Jeans employee in the league. Best Ugly Madelyn in the league. Best big man in the league.i Best color in the league. We’ll win the ship and have a hell of a time doin it.