1. Purp

Best team in the league easy. This team is gonna make history for sure. Starting off with the best Captains in the league Ryan Mckeever who is a rec league Lebron James he can do it all on the hardwood and Gavin Fitzpatrick who is by far the best Point Guard in the league might as well call him Lamelo Ball the way he plays. Then we got Charlie Eberlie who is an absolute lockdown on D and can play some solid team offense. Then we got Jack “Groin” Shearer. Hopefully he will be recovered but regardless a very solid player. Then we got Peter “3 ball” Janowski this kid has an absolute strap on him he will be in your face on D and than go plop a 3 in your mouth on the other end. Then we got Dex “purp” Stamm another kid with an absolute strap on him for a shooting arm and is the living legacy of purp, perfect fit for the team. Then we got Charlie “Chuck” Stohl this kid will grab boards and play clamps I don’t know what else you need from a pick this late. And then we got Joe Reeder. Kid can play D and he wont be shooting the ball so that doesn’t matter. Then we got Jake Saigel who is a Solid pick he may be a little uncoordinated but he’s tall and hopefully can grab some boards. And lastly the best last round pick of all time Quinn Fitzpatrick he is going to be a menace in the paint.

2. Carolina

The Captains of this team aren’t bad and they drafted really well so I thought they deserved the 2 spot. Don’t sleep on Carolina this year. They got Rob “Buckets” Hendricks kids gonna ball this year like Jimmy. Then for there other Captain they got Ridge “Dir Daddy” Mcclintock this kid got a fro like Julius Erving hopefully he can ball like him too. Then they picked Brady “I got cut from the real team so I signed up for Rec” Bartusiak this kid is an absolute brick everytime he shoots the ball but will play great defense and find the rim. Then they got Jack “ The Pest” Myers this kid is a nightmare to play against he will clamp you harder than a fucking Wrench. Than they got Zach “Dragon Dong” Ehasz I don’t know if this kid can ball all I know is it’s hard to run with a third leg. Then they got Ty Reimer I know nothing about this kid but hopefully he can ball for the Carolina boys. Then they got a couple grass fairies in Baden Friday and Noah Gordley but they will most likely be able to play some good defense. Then they got Jacob “Unit” Lapinski this kid an absolute unit and he will be grabbing a lot of boards for this team. Lastly they picked Marshall Howe who I don’t see having an impact at all but he’s a funny guy so maybe he can be the team clown.

3. Charcoal

Starting off here with Captains Jake “Stinky Boy” Casey he is one of the better players In This league for sure but his best feature might be getting the defender to run away because he smells so bad. Next we got Josh “I got more STD’s then bitches I’ve railed” Brufsky hopefully his cock doesn’t start stinging during games but he is a terrible basketball player nonetheless looks very uncoordinated when he plays. Then to top off the Gay threesome they got Brandon “Aux boy” Liokareas I bet u this kid would make a radical pregame playlist but unfortunately that doesn’t matter and he’s also bad at basketball. Next they got Josh”my older brother does drugs” Howard hopefully this kids athleticism will help him on the basketball court but his kid is also very tall and so is this team. Next they got Matt “Viv” Russell this kid can shoot sometimes but will play no defense whatsoever. Then they got Nick “My brother made me change my name from what it rly was before” Tanner. This kid will be a good defender but I don’t think he knows how to put the ball in the hoop. Then they got Bennet Henderson who will be half decent but won’t be much of a factor. Then they got Nico “liv” Amantangelo who is a good last round pick honestly. Lastly they got Drew “The Brew” Blodgett who they traded for which I think charcoal won this trade. 

4. Cardinal

This team looks pretty scary on paper but who knows if they will do well or not. First there Captains are Connor “The Monster” Schmidt who will be a board man but can’t run the floor even if there was donut on the other end for him. Then they got Jordan ”I quit basketball to ride pine on the football team” will be a solid player this year for sure but I can’t see this team going far with him as a captain. First they picked Koby “Wannabe Bryant” Markovitz who can shoot for this team no doubt but another player who might hav trouble running the floor. Then they got Gordon” Boxhead” Groninger who was taken way to early and I can’t see this kid being any good. Then they got Hunter “1000 mph” Hanna this kid is nuts and hopefully can avoid the crackhead mentality while playing basketball. Then they got Hunter “The Ogre” Schroek who is a body but can’t see him running the floor. Man this team is gonna be slow. Then they got Will “Stringbean” Haberman who won’t make an impact for this team other then getting 1-2 boards a game. And there last three pick I know nothing about so that most likely means they are terrible but who knows what Josh Ortiz, Cole Super, and Kevin Wehrle will do.

5. Royal

Starting off with Captains Tucker “I drive into trees” Neal hopefully this kid won’t be driving to games hopefully he can get a ride but he’s a pretty decent player nonetheless. Then we Got Nikita”Vladimir” Knobel who will be this teams #1 for sure and they are gonna depend on his success. First they Drafted Eddie “Minecraft head” Albert who I have no idea if he will be good this year but who knows. Then they got Matt “My prime was 6th grade sports” Haverlack kid could grab some boards and make a difference for this team. Then they got Nick “Sped” Chimento hopefully this team can get this kid under control otherwise he will be chucking up brick after brick. Then they got Tyler “Not so” Super at basketball. Then they got Dhruv “ My dad owns 10 sunocos” Saggi who I hav no clue about but hopefully he can ball. Then they have Drew “hopefully he can” Popp a shot. Then they got Wolfram “who the fuck is that” Schmidt I hope he can ball for this team but I got no clue. And lastly they got Micheal “Chanel” Menard who will be terrible in this league but could be a sleeper also. 

6. Maroon 

This teams captains are average at best but could go 15-20 from three any given game. Starting With Franco “Meatballs” Damico who will be shooting Meatballs from beyond the arc all year. Then they got Triston “I watch this bitch get pounded every week and still want her” Shaffer. Who will be decent if he stops getting his back blown out by other dudes. Then they got JJ “hey wanna come to sheetz with me baby” Cuddy who will be a board man and a half. Then they got Jake “Waste of height” Howard this kid is an absolute waste of height on the basketball court he has no desire to rebound. Then they got Tyson “I smell like shit” Swigart another player in this league that uses there stench to keep defenders away. Then they got Johnny “Seems like a nice guy but sucks at basketball” Mcshane this kid won’t make an impact at all. Took him way to early. Then they got Cole ”My captain is railing my sister” Lang. Then they got Landon “Grass fairy” York who could be alright. The they got David ”Nipples” Goldberg who could also maybe have a slight impact. And lastly they got Tanav “Get-go” I don’t know his last name.

7. Orange

Starting off with there Captains they got Will “Wing Review” Engel who has the best number in the league dont sleep on this team they are a serious threat I should hav them higher but I don’t. Then they hav Brandon “Roids” Coe kid is an absolute unit and can probably bench press the basketball hoop he will be a lockdown on d but I can’t see him producing a lot of offense. Then they got Nick “I faked an injury to get drafted to a terrible team” Derubis this kid will be the main producer for this team but you lock him down and this team will crumble. Then they got Ben “Never seen him speak” Bacdayan who will produce defense for this team but again another player who I can’t see scoring for this team. Then we got Jesus “I make up for my size with my shit talking” Segura this kid is awful at basketball but might be able to play a little defense on kids under 5’5”. Then they got Greyson “Most disgusting hockey injury I’ve ever seen” Bayer I don’t know much about him but hopefully he can play some good basketball for this team. Then they have Nate “Ellie” Rising this kid is athletic so he will probably be able to produce defense but not much offense. When you play this team you will win 20-10 or lose 20-10 this team has lockdowns. Then they got Will “Jesus” Closser this kid looks like Jesus but won’t be able to ball like Jesus. Then they got Garrett Ziegler and Peter Engel one is gone be able to pull in hella rebounds and one will do nothing for this team. 

8. Kush

Starting off with Captains they got Gavin “Yev” Wyland who is not the greatest basketball player but he will produce great vibes for this team if you know what I mean. Then they got Cyrus “Fell off” Khani who is a good basketball player but who knows where this kids been for the past year. Then they drafted Billy “Did you know I’m dating someone it’s not like I put something on my story every other day” Salapow another great baller for this kush team who can produce. The they got Liam “The millionaire” Szajnecki who is terrible at basketball but can most definitely grab rebounds and I really hope he can dunk by now. The they Donovan “DONNNNIIIIIEEE” Kohl’s who is the biggest sleeper in rec history this kid will BALL OUT for this team. Then they got Bryan “Nice guy but just not good at basketball” Scanlan he can play defense but can’t do anything else. Then they got Nik “forgot the C” Cagni who won’t do much to help this team. Then they got Breyden Lucas and Evan Taylor who I don’t know much about. Then they got Micheal “Worst player in the league” Barbarita who quite honestly is fucking atrocious at this sport I don’t know why he signed up.

9. Scarlett

Starting off with the Captains Ethan “I only talk on Twitter” Hancock who will be a defensive force but will turn the ball over 10 times a game. There other Captain is Drew “I only like bitches below a 3” Conwell this kid might be the worst captain in the league he sucks so bad. First they drafted Mateo “2 in” Cepullio who is wasted talent on this team because they may not win a game. Then they got Connor “seems like a great guy but sucks at basketball” O’Neill don’t have to say much else about this kid. Then they got Marcus “The Bowling Ball” Fennel this kid might be able to grab a rebound if he can get down the floor in time. Then they got Danny “Googles” Murphy a this kid might be a sleeper I’m not sure because he used to be decent but I haven’t seen him play ball since last year. Then they got Simon “Another nice guy but sucks at basketball” Andres who may be able to grab rebounds but won’t be able to do anything else. Then they got Sammy “I’m not 5 foot yet” Moss who can’t do anything on the floor really other then steal the ball off your hip because he’s already down there. Then they got Jake Zeh and Jan sames who won’t do much for this team at all. 

10.White

Starting off with there Captains Sam”I only pull Dunkin bitches” Phillips who might be half descent this year. But the minute he brings his dunkin bitch to a game he’s booted from the league. Then they got Kristian “String Bean” Karidas who is terrible and very unathletic. Then they drafted Sohum “Curry” Shankar this kid is the best defender in the league but he will need to score 40 a night for his team to win. Then they got Kyle “I golf” Kerber who will be a perimeter presence for this team. Then they got Zain “Grown ass man” Aizooky who is very underrated he’s low key a bucket. Then they got Joey “Teddy Bear” Lucca who is very slow but can maybe grab boards. Then they got Jadon “Chicken Nugget” Kithcart who will do absolutely nothing but turn the ball over. Then they got Andrew “Mohawk” Higgs who is another sleeper in this league and can do some thing for this team. Then they got Noah Wagner and Jack Dietrich who both seem like great guys but definitely are terrible at basketball.

11. Navy

Starting off with Captain Dom “Mr. No Bitches” Egizio who thinks he’s really good but he sucks so bad at this sport it’s unfathomable. There other Captain is Aedan “I’ve been the same height since freshman year” Moss who is also terrible these are easily the worst captain duo in the league. Then they drafted Zach “Always attached to my girlfriend” Fairfull who is a serious presence in the paint but only if he can make his layups. Then they drafted Jacob “People know me because of my dad” Hufnagel who is an athletic kid but I can’t see him doing anything great for this team. Then they got Drake Wangler and Alex to dale who I know nothing about which most likely means they are not good. Then they got Aaron “SLATTNER” Lattner who is another huge sleeper in this league the kid doesn’t look like much but he’s a bucket. Then they got Jacob “Great guy but not the best basketball player” Lucas who will give this team some height but won’t do anything other then rebound. Then they got Daniel “I can’t stay on my feet” Seewald who won’t do much at all for this team. Then they got David “lm the first like on every Student Section post” Dedes who again won’t do anything for this team. This team is disgusting

12.Gold

This team is absolutely terrible I don’t even know where to start. Starting with Captain Jack “I’m Insane at golf but finished dead last at states” Urban who in my opinion is very overrated along with his Co-Captain Max “Attention Whore” Mandler who is the most overrated rec ball player of all time the kid dropped 50 on Mathew Newman one time and everyone thinks he’s insane. If max and Jack can hold themselves back from blowing each other mid game then this team might be half decent. Then they drafted Alex “I think I’m taller than I really am” Jones who I can see getting very frustrated with Max and Urban hogging the ball. This team is gonna crumble. Then they got Jackson “Another great guy but just not the greatest basketball player” Howe who will get boards and that it. Then they drafted Ethan “Waste of height” Rocks this kid is like 6’4 and still sucks so bad. Then they got Aiden Houck who is quite honestly this teams best player. Then they got Aaron “Chody” Brody who is another good player for this team. Then they got Max Bywalski and Rohit Sattuluri t ye wo kids I know nothing about but hopefully they are half decent for this team they are gonna need it.