Rankings:

1. Kush
2. Royal 
3. Cardinal
4. Carolina blue
5. Gold
6. Maroon
7. Charcoal
8. White
9. Purp
10. Scarlet
11. Orange
12. Navy

1. Kush

There’s two types of people in this life. The thinker and the doer. When I wake up in the morning I don’t think about my day I do it. That’s why when we walked into draft day at an uncalled for time it was the first time we had seen the draft board. Nonetheless, we got to work and assembled a beast of a team. Teams think about winning games but Kush will do it. Beginning with Gavin “Yev” Wyland who is on his way to a breakout rec season, all while being completely cross eyed during every game. On to Cyrus “PhD in Kush” Khani, a reliable shooter, dribbler, and scorer who will run you for your money in any game he can show up to. Next, we have none other than Billy “zooted af” Salapow. After last season the “ceiling was the roof” for Bill. Unexpectedly, he has made insane strides in all arts of the game during the offseason. Billy is undoubtedly on his way to an MVP season and ain’t no one stopping this menace. Fourth up, we have Liam “my head is touching the ceiling” Szajnecki who completely dominates the paint, a scoring machine on any given occasion. Next, Donovan “Donny” Kohler... yeah so we needed another big man not really sure what we had going through our minds at this point on draft night but it was completely impulse. Anyway, on to Bryan “the guy totally doesn’t want to be on this team but he’s a walking bucket” Scanlan. With impressive seasons in Rec Ball and an outstanding three ball at Baker Ball the guy was a complete steal at this point in the draft. An opportunity we couldn’t miss on to be quite honest. Blah blah blah some underclass men, Billy told me Evan Taylor was decent so we stole him late in the draft. Blah blah blah more underclassmen I really chose just because of their names. Finally, Mikey B, who we accidentally drafted, sorry bud. To wrap this up, I’m sorry if you thought you had a chance against a kush team this good. Also, I want to give a big thanks to the Kush that will carry this team through every game.

1. Royal 

To start off we have Nikita “the guy should be on Kush” Knobel, an absolute walking bucket. I mean, the guy can score from literally anywhere. Kid could pull up from half court at will. Next, Tucker “Nikita’s bitch” Neal who can also drop buckets. Basically just a clone of Nikita, two Nikitas on one team? Sheesh. Eddie “baseball dude” Albert who I haven’t seen on the court in any of my rec games but I’ve heard he’s also a walking bucket. Matt “where am I” Haverlack can drop buckets and will provide a great big man role on this team. Nick “why y’all draft him this high” Chimento is an absolute freak, in all the wrong ways. Tyler “Superman” Super has a cool last name, so I respect this pick. Blah blah blah, all these names are great I respect all these picks too much. Dhruv, Popp, Schmidt, lmao love it. This team has good potential, in my opinion, the talent is dispersed well.

1. Cardinal 

Connor “board man” Schmitt will fuck shit up in the paint. And he has a nice shot. Jordan “Micheal Jordan” Kweder provides strength to this team with his unnatural basketball talent. Koby “Kobe” Markovitz has an unreasonable range and is definitely something all teams should care about while playing Cardinal. Who is this Gordon guy? Hunter “fast” Hanna is another athlete that people will sleep on until they see him on the court. Shreck, Super, and wearied, all great names so I respect these picks.

1. Carolina Blue

Robbie “big football guy” Henricks is an outstanding ball player. Top 10 player in the league. I can see this team going far because of him. Ridge “Dad” McClintock looks like a dad, but oh man, he can ball. Rob and Ridge duo will be lethal. Brady “tall football guy” Bartusiak will most likely have an impressive season and is not someone you want to tread lightly on while playing this team. I wanted that Zach Ehasz guy, too bad he was stolen. Blah blah blah why does rec ball even let these underclassmen play they’re not even gonna get the ball.

1. Gold

Criticize all you want, this team just hasn’t shaped up like I thought it would. Now don’t get me wrong, Jack “down bad, up huge, down bad again” Urban, Max “Mateo Cepullio” Mandler, and Alex “athletic” Jones can absolutely run it on any court together. I’m not saying they had a good position in the draft like teams like mine. But, what the fuck is this team other than those three absolute units? Something about this just screams Brooklyn Nets, top heavy. I’ve heard all the hype but I really want to see what just three guys have to offer on a rec court. It would be impressive to me if they could carry those back end picks. Nonetheless, even with 6 below average players this team ranks high. This team will run you for your money if your team isn’t fully aware at every moment of the game. Aaron “quiet” Brody is the only other guy I can think of who will provide some strength for the second line. Lastly, I’m not understating this teams potential if they can somehow create good teamwork I can see them going much farther than 5th this year. 

1. Maroon

Franco “Spaghetti” D’amico is an avid shooter and well rounded player. This team will most likely rely on Frank hitting important shots. Triston “backpack at a party” Schaffer is also a well rounded ball player who the Maroon team will likely rely on to be scoring all season. JJ “first round?” Cuddy is alright, haven’t seen him ball much so I can’t speculate much other than the fact that he is strong, fast, and will provide a physical role on this team. This team is also kind of top heavy, ya hate to see it. I have no clue who these underclassmen are but their names are too average for me. Hopefully they don’t generate too many turnovers. 

1. Charcoal 

First we got Josh “down infamously” Brufsky who I’ve never seen ball but will likely dominate with physicality on the court. Next, Jake “The Varsity basketball rec player” Casey who may average around 30 points a game. It’s a shame this guy doesn’t have a second hand man to drop buckets with all game because he will most likely have to carry every game. Onto Brandon “one rip of the derb” Liokareas who will provide a good big man role for this team. The guy is something to watch for so be careful when he’s on the court. Josh “lax” Howard is a good athlete. This was an excellent pick. Blah blah blah more underclassmen. Then we have Drew “2300” Blodgett who will play some decent ball on the court and have his best season yet. This team ranks lower mainly because of the idea of chemistry and the lines they will fail at putting together. I am a firm believer that when Bruf wants a team to win they automatically lose marginally. Most likely he will want his team to win which will lead to their down fall. I see potential, nonetheless. By the end of the season they won’t be 7th.

1. White 

Sam “James” Phillips is actually a tremendous baller and will do well this year. Or is James the good one? I’m not sure but one of them is actually decent rn. Kristian “absolute fiend” Karidis can score using his height, lankiness, and jagged body angles. Sohum “another first round lock” Shanker has a dagger and will lead this team in any of their success this year. Kyle “?” Kerber, uhhh... next we have, Zain “secret god” Aizooky will do well this season and has good basketball genes. Blah blah blah more underclassmen and a tall dude who will generate unlimited turnovers. Is that... Jack “the fucking goat” Dietrick? This kid is an all around unit and provides strength in his three ball and unreal mid range jumper. How did you get Jack Dietrick this late in the draft? I for sure thought he was going first. Holy shit. Steal of the century.

1. Purp 

To start off we have Gavin “toke” Fitzpatrick who has an extremely wet jumper and will lead this Purp team immeasurably. Next, we have Ryan “hasn’t seen daylight” Mckeever who is a strong big man in the league but is versatile as ever. The guy will definitely dominate this year. Next, we have “Ebs” who will undoubtedly help this team in many ways on and off the court. Jack “degenerate” Shearer will also help on and off the court with purp’s activities. Can the guy shoot? I guess we will see. Maddox “Dex” Stamm has an impressive shot from the three ball range. Reeder is a good guy. I love this purp team I cannot wait for the bowl. Blah blah blah more freshmen.

1. Scarlet 

Drew “Godwell” Conwell can ball at times, the downfall of this team if he hogs the ball. Ethan “what?” Hancock will most likely carry this team with his scoring ability, complete rec rat. Mateo “the first round lock” Cepullio, I don’t know if I spelled that last name right but I want to put some respect on it anyway. This freak athlete will give this team the upper hand in many games in their season. Simon “Good at basketball” Andres was a steal. Blah blah blah underclassmen. 

1. Orange
2. Navy

No disrespect both of your teams will keep it close in some games but i can’t see you guys making playoffs. Navy, your team is awful.