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Subscribe to our NewsletterDear league members,
Well, what can I say?
Welcome back to another year of organized mayhem.
Before I pull back the curtain and reveal this year's captains, I'm compelled to deliver a message that embodies the spirit of this league in years past and present. And I'll be sure to recite it to myself every morning while pathetically spewing self-affirmations into my bathroom mirror.
This is a recreational basketball league. Your "ability" to play basketball at this substandard level is inconsequential to just about everything.
Enjoy it for what it is; a time-honored opportunity to get together with friends (new and old), to get some exercise, and have a few laughs. Very few leagues like this exist.
Let's think of the referees as an extension of this sentiment, as well :)
Here are your 2025 captains (in draft order):
1. Casey Meyers
Casey enters his 3rd season in the league with the sterling résumé of a winner, including a championship last year. However, it is the contention of many that he has been the beneficiary of playing on loaded teams. Let's see how this John Basedow doppelganger fares in his first stint as a captain. One thing is certain: he is hard-nosed and will draft a team that embodies his personality (but taller). Sidenote, he likes to put a pinch of salt in his light beers. What the fuck is that?
2. Navid Faryar
At age 38, Navid is entering his 20th season in the FHMBB 30+ league, lending new meaning to the saying “get a life, man.” Although he was once a frequent visitor to the winner's circle in his more formative years, it has been quite some time since he has tasted anything in this league besides John Gibney's spittle. With a lifestyle constantly teetering between radical efficiency and total degeneracy, it is tough to tell which version of this well-intentioned asshole will show up this year.
3. Brendan Boyle
Bredan Boyle is someone you just don't enjoy playing against. Boasting an incredible motor and a selfless, tough minded playing style, he is sure to field a squad of likeminded psychopaths to vie for the crown. Looming question: who is he taking at #3?
4. Justin Lukoff
Known for his no-look passes and inexplicably accurate flat-footed set shot, this lovechild of Drew Carey and Clark Kent takes his first crack at drafting his own squad. In a controversial move, he relinquished his right to select 3rd and voluntarily dropped to 4th. The league will wait with great anticipation to see who he will choose to fill out his roster.
5. Wes Moore
Easily one of the most genetically blessed Caucasian males in world history, Wes has been an essential cog on many championship squads. It was the opinion of some league executives that his freakishly long arms should exclude him from sharing the captaincy with other mere mortals. However, he will face the challenge of selecting the right supporting cast and guiding a team to the promise land.
6. Brian Sharkey
Last year, in a move that could only be compared to Lebron James selecting Sean "Diddy" Combs with a lottery pick, Sharkey was selected in the first round by his lover and perennial league all-star, Kyle Phelan. What deserves mentioning is that this ambiguous duo still hoisted the trophy at year's end. The Sharkman's high draft stock from 2024 will be under intense scrutiny this season as he attempts to silence his critics. We are pretty sure Kyle Phelan won't be on the board at 6th overall, so look for Brian to be drinking and eating his feelings on Friday night as he faces a whole season without his paramour.
I look forward to seeing all of you on Friday night, no-holds-barred.
Love always,
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