TEAM OVERVIEWS 

1) Wes Moore - two years in the league and two championships for Wes.  Is everyone as confused about this fact as I am?  Anyway, he now gets his shot at defending his championship as a captain.  Turned out last year he made a brilliant pre-draft move by swapping the #1 draft pick to Gene "Two Kids, But Still No Championships" Melody for his #4 pick, which Wes used to select a passed-over and thereby pissed off Iovino.  (Speaking of Iovino, will he be any good this year considering he spends most of his time helping The Greek flood the U.S. market with cheap Chinese steel instead of shooting hoops?  But I digress.)  Can Wes pull together another championship-caliber team or was he lucky that Iovino slipped to him at #4 last year?  More importantly, can Wes reach over his shoulder and grab his wallet out of his back pocket with his freakishly long arms?  These questions and more remain to be answered.  

2013 Regular Season 3rd Place, 2013 Tournament tied 3rd Place

2) Mike "Glass Chin" Scarano - after several years in the league and no championships to show for it, Mike gets his first shot at being a captain.  Roundly regarded as the best defender in the league, perhaps he can pull out his first championship by finally being at the helm of the ship.  One thing you can count on is that Mike will make his annual spring visit to the Riverview Emergency Room for stitches to his glass chin.  He's a regular at pick-up, but will he do his proper due diligence as a captain, like uncovering the fact that Rob Edwards has spent the last three months living in Toms River, eating buckets of chicken wings, drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon, and wearing camouflage cargo shorts and a Slayer t-shirt while his house in Fair Haven is remodeled?  On the upside, if he picks Rob, Mike will undoubtedly be granted access to the Johnny-On-The-Spot currently sitting on Rob's front lawn on River Road. 

2013 Regular Season 1st PLace, 2013 Tournament Champions

3) Matt Carr - the son of our greatly esteemed former league president, Bob Carr, gets his first shot at league captaincy.  Can he finally bring honor to the family name by being the first champion in the Carr household?  Or will he continue to be best known for his cat fights with Ping Pong Josh and ill advised 28 foot jump shots?  One thing is for sure, he will likely write several indecipherable diatribes on the league website during the season.  And we all know what happened last year as he was part of the most toxic team in league history, which not surprisingly (and much to the delight of the rest of the league) finally imploded with a forfeit in the playoffs.  Can he learn from the chemistry mistake of that team?  Will he pick his brother so that they can scream at each other during the games again?  Lots of questions to be answered. 2013 Regular Season 4th Place, 2013 Tournament tied 6th Place

4) Chris Grier - after a couple of years in the league, which he spent mostly yelling at the refs, Chris gets his first chance at captaincy.  Does he properly know the talent level of enough guys in the league to field a good team?  Because the only thing rarer than seeing Chris at pick-up is seeing Joe Reedy hit a jump shot at pick-up.  For example, will he pick Navid who has reportedly eaten more Three Pepper Bacon burgers from JR's in Red Bank than he's taken jump shots this year?  Will he pick his neighbor Tommy "Pants" Pantaleo who looks like he's taking a dump when taking a jump shot?  Or maybe he'll go with Johnny "the Fireman" Cariero who was recently seen bathing in the Fountain of Youth hoping to stave off the affects of his quickly approaching 50th birthday?  Or maybe he'll go with Mike "Oxygen, Please" Piperno who can no longer jump over an 8"x 11" sheet of paper, as he was recently outjumped for a rebound at pick-up by Rich Mitola, who hadn't left planet earth himself in 10 years?  2013 Regular Season 2nd place, 2013 Tournament 2nd Place

5) "Ping Pong" Josh Halpern - Josh's tournament performances have quickly become more memorable for his myriad of injuries (he's the Carl Pavano of our league) and his catfights with Matt Carr (see above) than any of his play on the court.  Off the court, he's well-known for his prowess on the ping-pong table, particularly for treating Kevin Barnett like a baby treats a diaper at the Knights of Columbus post-game festivities.  But maybe his first chance at being captain will turn things around for Josh.  Or maybe he comes up limp with another injury.  We shall see.

2013 Regular Season 5th Place, 2013 Tournament tied 3rd place

6) Kyle Szatkowski - after screwing his team last year by supposedly going on a fishing trip to Florida (which was more likely a cover for a romantic weekend with his long-lost lover Rumph) instead of playing in the championship game, Kyle obviously needs to get his priorities in order.  Maybe he's been doing more with grass these days than just cutting it.  Who knows?  But he's got 3 tournament championships to his name, with one as captain, so perhaps he can reignite the old glory?  Or are his better days behind him at the tender age of 28?  One thing to keep an eye on this season is whether Kyle will retake his old league title from Wes of "most errant shots thrown off the backboard to himself." 2013 Regaular Season 6th Place, Tournament tied 6th Place

Please feel free to further discuss these choices of captains and any other mindless banter on the League Talk section of our website: http://www.leaguelineup.com/welcome.asp?url=fairhavenbb