Despite having all day to think about game 3 vs. the Buzzards, and even after a lengthy chalk-talk following the morning skate, the NARBs accidentally forgot how to play hockey last night.

R. Pellegrino opened up the scoring five minutes in to the first period when he forgot where defensemen were supposed to go and wandered into the Buzzards' slot. A. Albrecht, lost in the zone and concerned about how sober he was, threw the puck towards R. Pellegrino, who, out of nothing short of absolute fear, slapped the puck away, and into the back of the Buzzards' net. Unaware of how to hold onto such a lead, the NARBs began to ease off. After allowing a Buzzards goal three minutes later, the NARBs weren't sure what they were supposed to do when the Buzzards got the puck and scored again. "I thought I heard someone yelling something about a guy in a 'slot' somewhere" but I truthfully have no idea what any of that means", said puzzled centerman Nick Monticchio. "It's funny, because there was a guy open on their team right before he got the puck and scored. I thought to myself, 'someone should go stand next to that guy, maybe try and stop him or something', but I wasn't sure how to do that. I just figured someone else would take care of it. The guy had a pretty nice shot though. I might ask to take lessons with him before our next game".

When A. Albrecht realized how sober he was while sitting on the bench, he knew he had to do something to fix it. "I didn't really remember how to play hockey, but when we scored the first goal by accident, some of the guys seemed to be happy about it. I figured I would go ahead and try it again. Using my feet at the same time as my hands to play felt weird, and I'm pretty sure I did something called a crossover at one point, but it worked and I scored twice. At first I thought back to the chalk-talk we had before the game, but I couldn't remember a damn thing, except that there was a six-pack of Coors in the locker room, and I had to get back to it. When we tied it up 3-3, I thought we had won, so I went home to get drunk and celebrate my dedication to the team". 

The NARBs allowed one more goal in the second period, when R. Pellegrino confused a player's shin guards for the back of the net, and shot at them. This led to a Buzzards' breakaway, and allowed them to score what would be the game-winning goal. Game 4 of the season is this Sunday night at 8:45pm, vs. Whack-A-Mole, at Flemington Ice Arena. Fan attendance was spectacular last night; the admissions office almost had to use two hands to count the number of people watching the game. In an effort to keep these already explosive numbers growing, the NARBs have announced that Sunday night will be Brian Hornak bobblehead night.