 |
Author |
TOPIC: Want some solid laughs? |
|
| OG
April 11, 2008
10:24:15 AM
Entry #: 2703277
| "Throw my body around" "Batted .408 in high school" "I show flashes of power" "The infield shift has been used on my before"
All good stuff and most legit town ball teams would be lookinf for guys who not only brought those things to the table but also provided them in resume format on this site.
If I were looking for a club here is what I would type.
In high school I batted one point higher then the other guy. I may be 39 years old but since I was 15 I have won slightly under 300 games.
Back in the dizzzzea I use to throw high 80's and supposedly clipped 90 a few times. Now I throw between 51- and 81 although I only hit 81 one a half dozen times or so in a season and my arm hurts when I do. I use 13 different arm angles that I invented all by myself in order to throw hitters off their game. I also have command of 11-19 different pitches depending on how my arm feels and what slots I am using that day.
I don't "throw my body around" any more but I have been known to "crappie flop" or just plain fall down out there.
My town ball batting average the last five seasons is .201 with 16 ABs, one run, one sac, one bib and six hit by pitches one of which hurt tremendously.
I have coached every level from Babe Ruth through NCAA DII for a total of 15 years and I never once saw an infield shift put on. In town ball if I ever saw this take place I would toss my turfs and my spikes in the trash can and walk off the field.
In the parking lot at the state tourney I once had to call my cell phone in order to find it; it was in the middle of a a pile of beer cans that was six feet wide, two feet deep and three feet high. That same night I lost my turfs, a pair of Oaks and was stalked by a homeless guy.
Perhaps my greatestless and most proudless accomplishment in terms of baseball is I may be the oldest pitcher (35) to win an NCAA game, although it cannot be verified. (True Story)
Last but not least I was selected to the Collegiate Baseball Magazine "All Pavlovich Team" as a 35 year old right hander. three pitchers were selected other then myself and the first was Jered Weaver. One of the other cats gave up five jacks in one game but went the distance for an 8-7 victory. The other kid was on the way to a game and made a tremendous save as he pulled a woman from a burning car. (Another True Story)
That is what I would write here on the forum if I was looking for a team.
|
|
| Ryan
April 14, 2008
11:05:26 PM
Entry #: 2708604
| I think one of those lines might be taken from my post looking for a team. I can take a joke... But really, if you're trying to explain what type of player you are, you've got to throw out some extreme examples that might give insight into how you play. Simply quoting stats from a far-away league won't work, cos who else can make an evaluation of the talent in that league to say whether those stats are meaningful or not? Besides, the infield shift line was tongue-in-cheek. I'm a right-handed hitter that goes oppo a lot. It's my bread and butter. I simply chose to explain that using an extreme example.
|
| King Kong
April 15, 2008
3:36:54 AM
Entry #: 2708704
| Oh Ryan, you must be new to the forum... What team exactly are you playing for? When we play you we will make sure to put that shift on for ya!!! Every guy on the field to the right side of 2nd base!!! Let's see you get it by us........
p.s. In high school I hit .500 (3 for 6), 1 SB, 1 BB, 3 K's, and a sac bunt. How about those numbers???
|
|
| ihaveaboner
April 15, 2008
2:13:14 PM
Entry #: 2709677
| OG,
You go by a lot of different names in this forum. Have you been hanging out with Herschel Walker again?
|
|
| Ryan
April 15, 2008
8:03:04 PM
Entry #: 2710240
| King Kong,
Yep, new to the forum. It only happened one time. We were playing a rival team that we hated and that hated us. They knew where we practiced and would send guys out ahead of time to grab the field just to crash our practices.
Anyway, it was a close game...I think we were maybe up by one run, and with runners on the corners, they intentionally walked the hitter in front of me because everyone knew he was the best hitter on the team. Then, when I stepped up there, they swung the shortstop to the right-side of second base. No matter, I just pulled the first pitch into the hole at shortstop for an RBI single.
|
|
| straight cash
April 15, 2008
11:27:53 PM
Entry #: 2710562
| Give me the guy who can turn a double-play ball into an rbi single once a reverse infield shift is applied! That's scrappy.
As for me, I hit about .440 in high school, but my average has dropped .040 every year since then. I am now 23. The implication is that this coming summer I can easily hit someplace between Rondell White and Nick Punto.
This is partially due to the ever-increasing layer of fat accumulating around my waist as my tolerance for beer grows. On the positive, that means I've improved about 12 oz. per year I can take in a given evening and still feel comfortable enough to drive home with a semi-buzz. I love baseball.
|
