Check our Youtube channel
My Account
Login  ·  Signup
Add Site to Favorites
Go to MyLeagueLineup

Join Our EMail List
Shouts @ the Devil
25,011

Select Category: 

League Meeting Update

March 15, 2008
A new season is upon us Diablos. Let's get it up. Information to write home about from the League Meeting this morning.....22 teams and full fees have been paid. Thanks Nieves! Get ypur dough in asap for the league fees. We scored two brand new bases to bring to the games when we are Home Team(1 if we are Visitors). A little help with the gear this year from the squad would be most appreciated. Keep your eyes peeled for any loose arms roaming your neighborhood. Our stable is only 4 deep and it's a long season. Remainder of the schedule will be figured out by Opening Day. Meanwhile our 1st 6 games have been put up here. Keep the limbs loose fellas. We've got a tough road ahead...

3 inning exhibition vs. Fog

March 16, 2008
The SF Diablos kicked off Spring with a 3 inning exhibition against the Fog(who we play the 2nd week of the season). Notables for the game, which featured late swings that shed so much rust the plate had to be wiped clean few times, Chris White threw a solid 3 inning gem. Mechanics looked good and the 2 seamer was darting all over the place. Gabe Sanchez showed more leadership with his hustle and timely baserunning. Not much else could be said for the game. Baserunning errors and poor defense lead to a negative outcome on the scoreboard, but we now know what we have to work on for the opener.

Opening Day Victory

March 31, 2008
On Sunday March 30, 2008 the San Francisco Diablos took field for the first time as complete team. It all started with a golden effort from Sir Whitey on the hill, pitching a gem of game and keeping his compsure throughout the contest, despite annoyances from the opposing team's bench. The Diablos played solid defense for the entire game with Fedrico making a nice play at first to secure a crucial out late in the game. The dynamic duo of Kimo & Brooks up the middle for the Diablo's turned a gracefull double play to stop a potential big inning for the Dirtbag's. Dennis Shanahan's debut in the 3 hole looks promising for the Diablo's lineup. Brian Baduske continues to impress with his prowess at the plate. Justin didn't get tossed and pitched a solid inning for Diablos to set up Joe for the save and bring home a win for Diablos's. Good job to everyone, it was team effort for the whole game, let's keep it going next week, so ice up.

Tough two weeks...

April 13, 2008
It has been a rough couple of weeks for the Diablos, dropping 2 in a row to sub-par teams. There has been a few highlights to mention. Sir Whitey threw another gem of a game, a complete 9 inning game of the highest quality. A "FEW" errors in the game created hole to deep for Diablo bats to climb out of. Week 3 started off on a better note with a beautiful day for baseball & beer. Pitcher Joe Shakira pitched a great game, dazzling the Artichoke hitters with an array of pitches and uncanny command. An early bunt by Gabe "Aluminum Cans" Sanchez got the Diablos off to a good start. However the Diablos's bats fell silent and would not produce too many more hits or runs. Defensivly the Diablos tightened up and played good ball with Ryan "The Dude" Brooks turning a graceful double play. The outfield draft picks, Dennis "Sombreo" Shanahan and Don "Still Finding it" Kreppin getting on the same page and starting to look like lifelong teamates. A lefty prospect was brought in the 7th and got in to some early trouble and the game was put out of reach for the Diablos. Kimo "1000 Milligrams" Lary's stolen base added to his team leading totals. Justin "Chill" McFawn pinch ran and killed an inncoent garbage can, that happened to be black. I'm just saying. Next week the Diablos need to right the ship and get back on the goodside of the scoreboard, and pick up their pitching staff. KOOL AID!!!!!!!!!!!!!OH YEAH!!!!!
Strange thoughts on this mellow 4/20. Had I witnessed a baseball game @ Westmoor Field yesterday or was it a battle of wills between two teams playing for the love of the game. In an early season battle against a veteran Tsunami squad the San Francisco Diablos showed true veteran grit.....the 35 mph winds didn't hurt their cause either. Leading the Diablo's this week was pitcher Justin McFawn(CG, 5 hits, 8 k's, 2 ER)and his pinpoint accuracy. Pre-game grunts of dissatisfaction about the Home Plate Umpire turned to statements like "He owed me that one" as we caught up with the surly right-hander during his post-game ritual of Budweiser and Ice. Helping keep the pitch count low were 3 innings of 1-2-3. As expected with the weather the defense was not spectacular, but a diving catch by CF Dennis Shanahan snuffed out a potential comeback bid by the Tsunami. "Aluminum Can" Sanchez destroyed any notion of base stealing with an early rifle shot to 2nd(into the wind, uphill both ways, with no cleats)that gunned down the would be thief. Also the Tsunami didn't lead to far so we wouldn't have to keep snagging Justin's hat as it blew across the diamond(Thanks fellas). At the plate the Diablo's produced only 7 hits, but used the elements and Tsunami miscues to produce 7 runs. Leading the charge was Shanahan with 2 hits(2B,3B)and Sanchez with a triple(2 runs scored). Other notables for the Diablo offense were Anthony Peterson scoring 2 runs and SS Ryan Brooks and RF Federico Narvaez scoring 1 run each. Props handed out to Federico's bro who endured that tornado for all 9 innings. Also a thank you to the Cafe Sainz lead by owner/operator Alfredo Sainz who laid out a post-game spread worthy of a dirt covered-beer gutted group such as the Diablo's.

Victory!!!

April 28, 2008
On Sunday the Diablos took the field and began to play like the veteran team they are. An early injury to Kemo "Now it's 2,000 Milligrams" Lary opened the door for Joe Shakira to put on a hitting clinic for us all to enjoy. Sir Whitey tossed another gem of a game against the overmatched Dirtbags, throwing a complete game with some clutch late inning strikeouts. Defensivly the Diablos tightend up the game with no major errors to mention. Dennis Shanahan continued to glove everything in centerfield and Fedrico stepping up to play first base like he never had a 7 error game. Gabe "Aluminum Cans" Sanchez continued smash the ball like it owed him money, professing his love for the weight bat every step of the way. Quality teamwork was the theme that emerged on Sunday. The post game shenangins were a sponsored by "Kool Aid" and raised the bar for post game drinking and debauchy. I'm sure we all enjoyed the beer, booze, food and finally some tits to look at! The Diablos face off with the Blue Claws next week, with Don and the Diablos ready to continue their win streak. Good Luck next week, I have front office duties to handle in Puerto Rico, hopefully returning with Puerto Rican talent for the Diablos minor league system.

Diablos boil the Blue Claws

May 3, 2008 – 09:30 PM
Where do we start. Is it with the stat of seven different Diablos scoring a run or Whitey's 3rd complete game of the season? Do we highlight the post-game relief of beating former teammates or the fact that no new injuries popped up with our decrepit line-up? Either way the Diablos emerged victorious on a less than stellar day. Chris White, celebrating his son Williams 1st birthday this weekend, dug deep to lower his era and extend the Diablos winning streak to 3. Once again he couldn't get loose until pitch 65. Diablo management is looking to get him starts with their AAA squad so he can show up loose on game day. Snuffing a rally in the 4th was 3B Justin McFawn starting a solid 5-3 double play to get the Diablos back in the dugout. Left Fielder Don Kreppein was beaned in the 6th inning, but the lack of bruise kept the benches from clearing. A shaky strike zone and suspect glove work kept the game close throughout the day. The difference makers today were Gabe "aluminum can" Sanchez cheering on the squad like a tweaker on a bender and SS Ryan Brooks who reached base safely 4 of his 5 at-bats. Homework assignments handed out by the Captain this week are: 1)At least 3 "nooners" for our outfield this week 2)BP for everyone on the roster over 75 years of age 3)Ground Balls for the SS.

Titanic Win!!!

May 13, 2008
The Diablo's rolled out of bed with a hangover and appetite for a victory. Behind Sir Whitey's solid, albeit wild performance the Diablos continue their win streak. The Diablo's bats were awake and crackin' from the get go, with the team putting up runs early and often. Solid defense behind the plate and a great catch by Gabe "Aluminum Cans" Sanchez ended an early attempt to rally back by the Titans. Ebony & Ivory played magical defense up the middle, robbing a few Titans of sure hits throughout the game. Justin "Mr. Happy" McFawn excelled at third base, making all the plays his age allowed him too. Anthony "House and Two cars" came out of retirement to swing the bat well for the Diablos. Don "Bomber" Kreppin hit one deep late in the game to show some good signs of life. Fed "Meow" Naveraz played well at first and behind the plate, I suspect he's been on his knees more than we know. Joe Shakira came in to close the game and baffled the Titans with his arsenal of pitches and machine like precision. Brian "Kool Aid" Budaske played well defensively continuing his error free streak on the field. Alfredo "PR" Sainz fresh from a triple-A rehab start in Puerto Rico dazzled the fans(Den Mother & My Mom) with a hitting display that would have made Ted Williams and Tony Gwynn proud to be left handed. Get ready for next week, the Artichokes will be ready, so ice up.

Diablos come up Aces against Artichoke Joes

May 19, 2008
The overcast skies were high over Balboa Park and the heat wave had finally broken, but not even Mother Nature could cool off the streaking Diablos. Behind another solid performance from Sir Chris White(5-1) the Diablos defeated Artichoke Joe's 17-7 to improve their record to 6-2. Leading the offensive charge was "Kool Aid" Baduske with 3 hits, 4 rbis and 20 shots at post game BBQ. Asked about breaking his recent hitting slump baduske said "I don't know man. I didn't even have to bang a fat chick." Also helping the cause was Kemo "0.5-inch vertical" Lary. His 3 runs scored and blinding speed on the base paths had AJ's on the ropes all day. He also showed great veteran poise when he battled(and lost) gravity on the defensive side. "PR" Sainz continued his torrid pace since returning from the DL. 3 runs scored and reaching base all 4 plate appearances pushed his already bloated On-Base% thru the roof. "Junkyard Dog" McFawn decided to let his game do the talking(2 hits, 3 runs, 2 SB's)after his bark wasn't intimidating anyone. Joe Ponson was, once again, called upon to drop the scorebook(Causing Kemo to sigh with relief)and hoist some lumber for the Diablos. His solid plate discipline and 2 runs scored has Coach Nieves "Pimpin aint Easy" Trejo re-thinking his stance on pitchers batting for themselves. No Whitey this doesn't apply to you. "Aluminum Cans" Sanchez executed another perfectly called game and even added a circus catch behind the dish that would've made Dottie Hinson proud. "Still finding it" Kreppein knocked in 3 rbis and played a flawless LF. Keeping things loose during Pre-Game was "Bubba Gump" Narvaez. Who's moving review of the classic Forrest Gump had many teammates questioning his sexuality. Who knew jenny wasting all that Yola on the mirror was such a riveting scene. Stay tuned for his future reviews of such timeless classics as "All Dogs go to Heaven", "27 Dresses" and "Blow". Overall it was a solid team effort highlighted by the fact that 9 different Diablos crossed the plate. The recent addition of young bucks has meshed well with the over-the-hill veterans and has led to Team Chemistry being right where it should be. Enjoy the week off fellas. You've earned it.

10 o'clock News

May 28, 2008
We have received a draft of the remainder of the schedule thru July. Should probably be another 4 or 5 games added on soon. So check out the updates and plan your social life accordingly.

- Dennis Richmond

Diablos extend Memorial Day Holiday thru game vs. Super Stars

June 1, 2008
The Diablos returned to Big Rec on Saturday. Looking to extend their winning streak. The Super-Stars had other plans. The 9-7 final score gave the upper hand in this divisonal battle to the Stars. Getting the starting nod for the Diablos was Joe Ponson. Unfortunately the Diablo defense wasn't there for him. Sir Chris White tossed a few innings in relief, but the Stars rapped out 15 hits total and never trailed during the game. Staying true to their form the Diablo offense took a while to warm up, but in the end their effort fell short. Even an electric diving catch by wily veteran "Aluminum Cans" Sanchez(which is becoming a weekly event)couldn't send a charge through the Diablo O. The highlights for the day 1)"Kool Aid" Baduske notching the first big fly of the 2008 campaign with a 2-run HR in the bottom of the 9th 2)Anthony Peterson and Ryan Brooks each reaching base all 4 at-bats 3)The fact that Don's back will get him more fluff after he wore that 0-2 fastball 4)Only 1 young lady fell victim to the sinkhole @ Casa de Kreppein. Next week a late game in Marin will throw another challenge the Diablos way. Let's see how they bounce back.

Fire Sale!

June 10, 2008
The Diablo's are still giving away wins like they are going out of style. Despite an all-star performance for Sir Whitey on the hill, the Diablo's bats went limp after the 3rd inning except for Ronaldo "The Kid" going 4-4 and showing some great hustle on the bases and nice leather in the field. The Wipeout was an appropiate place for the Diablo's to drink their issues away. We need to get back on track next week, so ice up and be ready!

Blaze Up!

June 18, 2008
The Diablo's took the field on Sunday with an eye on getting back in the win column. Sir Whitey's performance was an all out effort for 9 innings! "The Kid" continued to make a claim for better contract next season with a dazzling diplay of defense and offense! It was all out effort for the Diablos with everyone pulling together and getting a win. A double play by Kool-Aid was a feat unto itself and probaly won't be seen again for awhile. Forest getting back to third was great but his reception at third was even better, with the ugly finder zeroed in on him. Ebony put on a wonderful hitting display, lazering the ball all over the yard. Dennis "dumbass" Shanahan got on base, then got off base, enough said. Get ready for next week as we take on the Benders, who according to sources, play really good baseball, so ice up! oh yeah, I got hit twice for being late!

Looooong day in Alameda..

June 23, 2008
Buuuush! The only term to describe the abortion that was Diablos v. Benders on Sunday. From a blind umpire in black jeans to the Benders middle infielder whispering sweet nothings in Gabe's ear. It was a strange day all around. It started with a less than stellar effort from usually dependable starter Sir Whitey. In post game analysis I had mentioned that he had left the ball up which one anonymous player replied "No shit". Falling behind 8-0 early had most Diablos dreaming of the frosty beers waiting in the back of 'Aluminum Cans' Denali. That was just the mind set we needed. After an inexplicable pitching change by Bender management(Their starter had baffled the Diablo line-up)the limp Diablo offense suddenly got a shot of Viagra. After cutting the lead to 9-4 second baseman Kemo 'I'm not feeling this' Lary was quoted "Shit. I guess we're going to play all 9". The Diablos decided to show up after that rallying cry. A 7-run 6th inning capped by a 3-run double by The Kid made things pretty interesting. Federico Narvaez continued his recent hot streak by serving up 'Smoked Double Shrimp' not once, but twice. Kool Aid Baduske petitioned for a name change to '3-0 Ho', but his gapper dropped for a double. He also added a spectacular diving catch, but failed to replace his divot. PR Sainz found that the umpires strike zone reached all the way down to the dirt during his at-bats. His choice words for the ump would've gotten him tossed in any of the other 47 contiguous states, but Stargell Field proved most lenient when it comes to umpire harrassment. Ironically PR's rant prompted the Bender 1st baseman to let us know that we weren't playing with class. Most likely he was looking the other way when his 2nd baseman #15 decided to drop down to the bush leagues and tell our runner that a foul ball had been hit after stealing second. The only thing keeping this review from ripping that certain play to shreds was the respect shown by a Benders player after the game. He knew it was wrong. We knew it was wrong. A beer was shared. Case closed. The loss drops the Diablos down to 7-5 on the season, but the parking lot pimping afterwards has raised our season record of out drinking our opponents to 12-0. Get ready for a little payback next week against the Fog.

Under the lights...

June 27, 2008
Breaking News...Breaking News...Hot off the AP wire Diablo management is in talks with league officials about scheduling a Friday night game on August 8th. The location would be Washington Park @ Burlingame High School. New levels of debauchery could be achieved with the post game activities occuring on a Friday evening. Stay tuned for confirmation of opponent and first pitch time.

Diablos see victory thru the Fog

June 30, 2008
Last Sunday the Diablos took on the Fog. Fitting since the skies were blanketed over Big Rec. As luck would have it motivation had been sent in the form of a 500-and-over ball club squawking in the outfield. Nerves were stroked after PR had said his piece....two or maybe three times. That "looseness" helped the Diablos overcome a 3-0 hole in the 1st inning. The Diablos staying true to form waited until the 5th inning to get their bats going. Scoring 1 run thru the first 4 innings and adding 10 from the 5th inning on. Another well balanced attack as 7 of 9 Diablos scored for the squad. Kool Aid added 2 more RBI's while not having to butcher any plays in RF all day. Forrest Narvaez had his 3rd multi-hit game out of the last 4 and continued his Iron Man streak of being the humor of the Post Game party. The kid had another day lashing 3 hits and swiping 3 bags. Sir Whitey gave a solid 6 inning effort eventually yielding to a high pitch count(4 hits,5 k's,8 BB). This opened the door for Joe Ponson to earn his first victory of the season in relief. Closing the door in the 9th inning was Junk Yard McFawn. Observing the 4th this weekend there will be no games. Diablos will come back strong on the 13th against divison foe the Beavers.

Playoffs? Are you talking Play-----Playoffs!?!!

July 3, 2008
The 2008 SFNABA schedule has been completed. The Diablos schedule has been updated on this site thru August. Also the playoff format has been announced. The weekend of Sep. 6/7 will be the single elimination portion of the playoffs with Wild Cards having to win 2 games to move on. Division winners will only have to win 1 game on Sunday to move to the next round. The weekend of Sep. 13/14 will be the Bay and Ocean conference finals with a Best of 3 format. The Championships will be played the weekend of Sep. 20/21 with a Best of 3 format. Take note of these dates and plan accordingly.

Last 2 Games

July 25, 2008
Well 2 weeks ago, 17 was number for the day. And we lost. Last week, we lost. We need to get our collective shit together and get a win on Sunday. The Kid did a hell of job at the "All-Star" game last week as well. See you Sunday.

The Great Debacle

July 28, 2008
The title tells the whole story. You don't want me to bore you with the details. What? Oh you do want to hear how it all went down on Sunday. Where do we begin. I guess it starts with Sir Whitey bringing his D- game to the Balboa Park mound. After wasting a gem a few weeks back Whitey decided to make the offense work a little bit. His 8 walks in 3 innings were nothing to smile about, but his 2 savvy walks near the end of the game(wink,wink)more than made up for it. Getting the offense started was "P.R." Sainz with a frozen rope RBI double in the 2nd inning. Unfortunately that was the extent of the fireworks until much later in the game. Coming in to make his Diablo debut in relief was Eric "Composite Buster" Platano. With a blazing fastball and some effective wildness he kept the G*ays at bay with 5 k's in 4 innings of work. Kemo "Big League" Lary had a solid grasp of the strike zone receiving 4 walks on the day. He also was accused of trying to hit the 1st base coach in the head during warm-ups with a throw that bounced past his feet. It's this writers personal belief that it was Kool Aids lack of a vertical that fueled the entire incident. Joe Ponson came in for the 8th and went 1-2-3. Trailing 8-4 in the 9th usually spells a quick inning so the Diablos can get to the parking lot. Not this time. 2 hit batters and 4 walks later the stage was set for Diablo RBI leader "Kool Aid" Baduske. After struggling for most of the day(and blaming everything from his batting gloves to his lumber)Baduske said "No more bullshit" and raked a 2-RBI single to RF and gave the Diablos a 9-8 lead going into the bottom of the 9th. Not making things easy the bullpen gave up a run and forced extra innings. Fortunately the umpires weren't in as much of a hurry to call a tie as the G*ays were and 1 more inning was granted. In the top of the 10th the G*ays got 2 quick outs and it looked like we were going to play for a tie. That's when Sir Whitey continued his stunning return to the batters box and worked a walk. Luckily for the Diablos (censored) Shanahan(sorry dude 'censored' is already taken) came in to run and turned in what will be labeled "The Mad Dash" from here on out. Stealing 2nd and 3rd was the plan. The catcher throwing the ball into LF was a bonus that resulted in the run that eventually stood as the game winner. "Angry Tomato" McFawn closed out the 10th inning for his second victory of the season. Post game entertainment was once again provided by Fed "Lady Humps" Narvaez. Oh and I forgot to say "Thank You" to the angry G*ays player yelping that they gave us the game. You did. We took it. 'Nuff said.
July 29, 2008
The SFNABA has gone ahead and changed the tie back to a victory. To the parties involved(you know who you are)I quote Tom Hanks: "There's no crying in baseball."

Diablos weather the Storm

August 4, 2008
After a 7-5 victory over the Storm on Sunday the Diablos ran their record to 4-0 @ Balboa park for the season prompting whispers of making that our home field for next season. Funny since most of the Diablo roster is made up of players who shouldn't be that close to a police station for fear of incarceration. The name of the game today was pitching. Sir Whitey got back on track for his 7th win of the season. Scattering 4 hits over 6 innings while allowing 2 runs. Earning the Bruce Sutter type 3-inning save was recently activated 'Firewood' Platano. The Diablo offense was much less helpful with a grand total of 4 hits. Fortunately some defensive miscues and walks led to a six run 3rd inning that was sparked by a 2-RBI triple for 'Kool Aid' Baduske. Thankfully the Diablo line-up batted around so the paramedics could revive his oxygen deprived body. Also helping the cause was 'Aluminum Cans' Sanchez scoring 2 runs to push his season total to 16. Not surprising the post-game festivities went deep into the evening. No doubt a warm up to the late night debauchery that will follow our 08/08/08 game this Friday. I also received an inquiry about a possible Budweiser sponsorship since we dusted 150+ of their fine product on Sunday. Keep it up Diablos!

We Suck!

August 11, 2008
Well, there is not much to say about Friday's loss. Eric pitched his second beautiful game,. however the Diablo's offense couldn't help him out. Great party at Gabes house. Got to win the next 2 if we want to continue the season.

Eight Men Out

August 19, 2008
Last Sunday the Diablos showed up strong. Led by a RF from the Jurassic period they fell to the playoff bound Titans 10-7. Sir Whitey proved once again he has the heart of a lion. Only having 8 players(9.5 if you count brother) tends to leave the DH option kaput. Whitey broke out the Steinbach helmet and managed to reach base 4 out of 5 ab's......oh and he pitched a little too. Way to get a batting average kid! Speaking of kids the Orozco brothers did not disappoint. Naldo dropped in his 3 hits, gunned one runner and was taken out by a sniper himself in the 8th inning. Oz nailed down the hot corner with veteran presence and everything he had. Now both of you go drink water. Junkyard McFawn and Mr. Lary decided to go old skool. McFawn rocked the nutter pants to the tune of 2 hits, 2 runs and 3 stolen bags. Mr. Lary wore the oversized uniform, but missed his golden opportunity for the behind the back DP. This close dude. AC Sanchez showed up strong with the energy of a 16 year old and the stats to prove it(RBI,Run,SB). LF/CF was manned by Don who was recently back from an Air Guitar World Tour(1B,Run). Nieves roamed RF and moved runners over all day at the plate. Definitely an example for all players younger than 7,000 years of age. Thanks Coach. With this loss the Diablos fell out of contention for the playoffs. 1 damn game. We finish off next week against the Sea Lions.

Hot Stove Report

December 22, 2008
Happy Holidays Diablo fans. Hope all is holly and jolly in your lives. We start with sympathy to the family of Dock Ellis. He passed away this past week after a battle with Cirrhosis. He is best known for throwing a No-Hitter while under the influence of LSD. A truly remarkable sporting achievement if you have ever thrown a baseball or dropped acid. I am writing this review due to the recent flood of emails inquiring about the Diablos interest in this years Free Agent pool. Let me start with our most recent news. We are no longer in talks with Mark Teixeira's people. Initially it was the money demands, but the deep pockets of GM Nieves Trejo quickly evened those numbers out. In the end the deal breaker was the fact that Scott Boras couldn't handle Trejo calling him 'Brother' during negotiations(also the fact that Teixeira's drug test came back negative meant he got an F in the team chemistry department...a killer with this organization). Our legal department had drawn up an 8 year-100 Beer/game contract for C.C. Sabathia, but a fierce bidding war developed between Hank Steinbrenner and Hank Steinbrenner. After careful consideration it was the training staffs view that C.C. was guaranteed to gain at least 25 lbs. post-gaming in the parking lot. Rounding out 2008 the Diablo front office thought they had filled the SS hole with a 4 year deal with Rafael Furcal. The initial report of Furcal's agents using the Diablos offer to drive up the price were false. The truth is that Diablo management found the Fax machine with a paper jam and just gave up on sending the offer. "That is disappointing. With his multple DUI's and alcoholic training from Bobby Cox he would've fit in well with these guys. Especially when the hat was passed for the 3rd and 4th beer runs." was a quote from someone close to the negotiations. A one and done scenario in the playoffs has left a bitter taste in managements mouth. All positions are open for next season which should create some competition when Spring Training begins in March.

Let's get it on

January 19, 2009
Winter meeting has been concluded. Coach Trejo has spoken. All Diablo's are to report to the first practice February 8th. Time and location will be determined. So get those livers ready with a good lather during the Super Bowl because the weekend after that "Brother" is running our asses. UPDATE: FEB 8th practice will be held at Balboa Park. Feb 15th first preseason game @ Balboa Park.

League Meeting

2009 SFNABA league meeting has been completed. The Ping-Pong ball has been grabbed(Thanks Justin)and a lottery has shuffled the Bay and Ocean Conferences. The Diablos have been placed in the Ocean-East with five other squads(Storm, AJ's, Bay Sox, Tsunami, Sea Lions). Some squads have been played and others are new. The league executives have guaranteed the first 4 games of the schedule to be released within a week. This weekend the Diablos play a pre-season game against an old foe @ Balboa 2pm.

***Location change for season opener - Flood Park***

March 26, 2009
Season opener against the SuperStars has been moved to Flood Park 3pm on 3/29/09. Please plan accordingly for rides and bring your beer money. McFawn has been put in charge of providing post-game orange slices and lettuce. Received a warning email from the league office regarding the behavior of an "unidentified league team" in San Leandro last week. The letter specified beer drinking and "legal and illegal" smoking as the infractions. It also mentioned leaving trash and not maintaining the field after use. The summary statement in the email threatened to re-schedule games from San Leandro Park to Big Rec for any teams breaking the "rules". Ummmm ok. Since we signed up to play in the SFNABA I don't see how not having to travel across a bridge to play is punishment. As for the complaint of garbage we have "Aluminum Cans" Sanchez living by the motto of 'No empty beer can is left behind'. We don't leave any food trash since eating keeps you from getting buzzed quickly. I am fully aware the complaint was not about us since we played in SF this past weekend, but I am sure that at some point this season we will have a complaint against us. Oh well. That will not effect the Diablos post-game ritual of alcohol consumption, smoke inhalation(legal and illegal) and game review. We went a perfect 20-0 last year in after game theatrics and we strive to keep that record intact. Play Ball!

Diablos pound SuperStars 14-4 on Opening Day

March 30, 2009
To borrow a line from Marvin Gaye "Oh mercy mercy me". That about sums up our first game of the 2009 season, but what fun would it be to chat about a mercy killing without some details. To begin every Diablo that stepped in the batters box scored a run today. A new Kangaroo Court fine was established thanks to Fed almost decapitating Frank in the on-deck circle. 'Aluminum Cans' Sanchez performed such magic behind the dish the Super Stars were talking amongst themselves about his cannon all day(His 2-RBI's didn't hurt). Fresh fish Louis Gardella(CG,12k,5BB,3H,2ER)decided to break from his pre-season tradition of hitting more batters than the other team. It worked. Justin "Mad Dawg" McFawn knocked in 2 rbi's and also had enough energy to yell at Fed from across the diamond on more than one occasion. Frank 'Pimpin aint easy' Escobar found time to score a run and play a solid LF while dodging flying timber. Brian "I use my cellphone while driving" Baduske added a run and hit while hosting post-game festivities at his place. Kemo "Brooksy's got it" Lary showed his veteran poise by not letting some defensive miscues creep into his at-bats. Atta boy. Center Fielder Marcus Reed(2hits,2runs,2RBIs) showed why the Diablo front office flagged him down on the side of the road this off-season and asked him to play. Naldo Orozco brought the scenery and managed to score 2 runs from the lead off spot. Now if we can only get him to take a pitch or two. And last but certainly not least we have Joe Ponson-Chaika. He patiently waited for his AB all afternoon. His purchase of a new bat had him dreaming of shots in the gap and the muff confetti that accompanies such hitting prowess. Sadly that dream was put on hold since he was promptly beaned on the 3rd pitch. Better luck next time Joe. Overall it was a complete 180 degree turn from our pre-season games. Who knew the veterans on this squad were just holding back until it counted. There was even a little fire shown during a squabble over the post-game spread. Keep at it fellas!

Diablos edge Benders 3-2 in Alameda

What a day for baseball. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping(where is a shotgun when you need it) and the pitchers showed up to play. For the Diablos it started and ended with 'Fresh Fish' Gardella. Earning his second win he went the distance on the hill and begged(like a woman)for runs in the dug out. In true Diablo fashion we waited until the last possible moment to score those runs. Returning from his expensive Vegas vacation 'PR' Sainz got himself a batting average, had a $1 strikeout and scored the game winning run. Not a bad '09 debut. 'Mad Dawg' McFawn scored the first run of the day for the Diablos and had some nifty glove work at the hot corner(That ump totally screwed you). The outfield was solid as usual. Led by CF Marcus Reed who squashed a couple of Bender rallies all by himself. 'Flat tire' Escobar and Brian Baduske-Smith locked down the corner spots respectively. Oh and B also wanted me to add he is the most feared 8th hitter in the league. Behind the dish 'Aluminum Cans' Sanchez showed the energy of a teenager(or maybe someone who mixes stimulants with his crystal light). After he flexed his muscle in gunning down the first Bender who attempted to steal nobody even considered that idea for the rest of the game. He played the part so well that he over threw Gardella regularly to show he couldn't control his cannon. 'FundaMENTALs' Narvaez found new and amazing ways of parting himself from his hard earned dollars. Whether it's striking out looking or calling his own infield fly rule from the batters box I can't wait to see what he does next. Punch and cookies were served post-game, but the bridge traffic cut the festivities short. Props to Kemo 'get away from the grill' Lary for feeding the animals @ Gabe's house.

R.I.P. Nick Adenhart

Two losses in a row put Diablos at .500

A tough two weeks for the Diablos has sent them down the standings to 2-2. Last week 9 players showed up and we lost to the Blazers 4-2. Injuries limited Sweet Lou to only 4 innings or work, but Justin picked up the slack and carried the Diablos the rest of the way. Highlights from that defeat were 1)Gabe bronzing on the 3rd level of hell @ Alfredo's place 2)Lou proving to us why we DH for him. This week it was a familiar foe the Blue Claws(who wear red jerseys). With injuries and swine flu keeping key players out of the line-up the Diablos battled back from a 9-2 deficit with a 6-run seventh inning highlighted by a 3-run triple from Naldo(no doubt trying to impress his lady). Amidst chirps about the time limit from the home team the umpires allowed play to resume. In the top of the 9th a towering solo home run by Marcus Reed tied it up at 9-9. Unfortunately a run was plated on a sacrifice fly by teh Blue Claws in the bottom of the 9th and the game was over. Post game attendance was considerably light, but when you only have 7.5 players ont he roster that is to be expected. This week we got screwed by the powers that be and are playing in San Leandro @ 715pm on Sunday. Wow. Good thing we signed up to play in the SLNABA.....oh wait it was the SFNABA. Hopefully we'll get a game in San Francisco before the season is over.

Schedule updated thru 7/11

Read the headline fool!

Diablos drown in rare Hayward Tsunami

Wow is the only description for Saturday @ Hayward High School. The host schools mascot is the Farmers and thats what we should have been doing instead of playing ball. That is if we could find the field we need to plow with AC Sanchez at the wheel. Figuring we had plenty of time to sight see before 1st pitch the Diablo party bus hit up a few fast food joints, visited some of Haywards finer neighborhoods and even had time to shop a few garage sales for the perfect mothers day gift. I think PR even got a screaming deal on a knock-off designer hand bag. After pre-game warm ups(ha) Joe Ponson took the hill for your Diablos. Making his 1st start of the season fresh off the DL he gave us everything we needed. Six innings later he departed with an enlarged nut sack and the Diablos trailing 2-1. Not much to chat about from that point on. Final score was 8-1 in the Tsunamis favor. Other highlights involved Track coach Kemo legging out his first triple since the Reagan administration and AC Sanchez taking the term "getting treatment" to the next level by playing 8 innings with a bag of ice in his sock. Conversations of where to get the best crab and who left what in the car back on our side of the bay dominated the post game. The Diablo heads(livers) are definitely in "mid-season" form as we reach the quarter pole of the 2009 season. Also just to keep our cry baby reputation shining bright the trek across the bay for that field is a joke. Not because of traffic or gas prices. Because we can find a field like that anywhere in the SF area(HNABA). That is all.

Baseball gods smite Diablos in 6-5 loss to AJ's

For anyone in attendance Sunday evening a full refund of your time and money should be expected. The Diablos decided to put on a little show of what not to do in most situations. Never make the first or third out at third base. We did. Don't walk the lead off batter with a 3-run lead in the 9th inning. We did. Don't lose track of how many outs there are in an inning. We did. Dont drink in the park after hours. We did. For most of Sunday the Diablos looked like they would pull this one out even while committing so many baseball sins. Fugeddaboutit! Gardella threw a solid game. Gabe ripped a sweet RBI-double. And our overweight line-up caused havoc on the base paths all night. In the end a strong 4 run rally by AJ's in the top of the 9th extended the Diablos losing streak to five. Post game consisted of 5 guys drinking in the dark and throwing cans in the garbage(where were you AC Sanchez?).

8 and counting...

Epic, Colossal, Mountainous. These are just a few words that can describe the current 8-game losing skid the Diablos are riding. After a demoralizing 13-5 extra inning loss to the Sea Lions a double header against the 1st place Storm was just what the doctor ordered. Making his Diablo debut Phil Lonsdale tossed 7 solid innings, but the Diablo offense couldn't get across the plate enough to help him out in a 5-4 loss. Post game odds on Phil being able to wipe his ass Monday were rumored to be around 10-1. After a 30 minute lunch break spent getting ice for the post game sodas and rocking out to Kemo's greatest hits the Diablos sent Sweet Lou to the hill. His 6 innings kept the Diablos in the game, but once again the offense stalled and the final score was 6-4. Joe Ponson ripped a 2-RBI double in he 9th inning to keep things interesting and extend his hitting streak to every game he makes the line-up. AC Sanchez was injured on a hustle play at first base in which the Storm 1B thought he was playing soccer and gave Gabe's hand a kick. Since this weeks absence from post-game activities was not his choice the cans were recycled and brought to Gabes house. That should cover the co-pay big guy. To end the losing streak virgin sacrifice was mentioned during the drinking session, but quickly forgotten after Frank aired the latest episode of Dragon Slayer for the team. The new guys were introduced to a memorable roast of Alfredo by none other than Kemo "Shut the fuck up. You can't say nuthin'" Lary. The Diablos return to SF this week and play the Tsunami @ West Sunset.

Signs of the Apocalypse

Happy Fathers day all you Dads. Last Sunday the Diablos welcomed their second and FINAL game in San Francisco for the 2009 season by ending their losing streak with a 13-0 victory over the Tsunami. The effort was shared by many whether it was Joltin' Joe Ponson shooting the gaps and getting dirty at 3rd(u almost had that shit man) or Kemo "I'll be right back" Lary showing his youthful legs in scoring 3 runs(He also gave a clinic on how to sneak out early). Sweet Lou decided to throw fastballs since he enjoys the echo @ West Sunset and got the 7 inning CG(even had to field his position a few times). Cameron Lebowksi stepped in behind the plate and couldn't be stopped with the stick. RBI's were dropped in by Fed "I'll be late next week" Narvaez and Alex Mora. Fresh fish Zack Miller impressed with his hustle. The Flying Orosco brothers were a welcome site. Although Oz needs to work on his 1st base coaching style. This week looked like an entirely different Diablo squad. Of course Brother thinks its all his line-up tweaking, BUT we know it's more about guys just playing some ball. Late arrival by world traveler PR Sainz was welcomed to collect a boat load of Kangaroo Court fees. This Sunday the Diablos play @ 2 pm Flood Park against the Fog.

Diablos piss off Gods one more time in 11-10 loss

The guy on the right was umpiring our game. You figure out how it went. More to come...

Who knew ritual sacrifice worked so well

Yes you heard it right. The Diablos level of debauchery has sunk to a new low. Now before y'all go running to alert PETA the chicken was a lovely roasted garlic number from the Safeway rotisserie and for our needs it came through like a champion. Following the latest 1 run debacle in our previous game the post-game festivities wrapped up with a 2/3 majority vote in favor of an offering to the baseball gods. It worked like a charm and the Diablos defeated Artichoke Joes 5-1. Sweet Lou Gardella tossed a complete game gem. Striking out 10 batters and walking 6(Don't ever doubt the captain when he says you walked a shitload....whore). The scoring was started with Federico Narvaez hitting a meteor shot to CF for an RBI sac fly. Cameron Yuen-Shore continued earning his hyphen by pissing on the rug and adding two more hits to his resume. AC Sanchez kept his sponsorship with Crystal Light going strong by reaching base three times and taming AJ's running game. He also hosted the post-game festivities which will be remembered for 1)Two large men comparing bellies 2)Black is slimming 3)Rookie Gardella disrespecting the BBQ by bringing his own food-who does that 4)Kemo working the grill with his bare hands 5)Alfredo dressing like a white man.

Diablos win despite fortune tellers warning

Diablos beat Sea Lions 13-4 in San Bruno Park...AC Sanchez proved that predicting the future is not easy....Lou earned the nickname of Cheddar....Fed showed us how to hire Mariachi's and play defense on Nachos during post-game....The part of Alfredo was played by his understudy Eli-direct quote dude-He said it before the game....Brooks openly pleaded his case for a seeing eye rbi single to the tune of "Sneak through you Bitch!"....Our racial coolness elevated itself to white and black guys pouring beer on each other....Miller showed his versatility by playing LF, looking like a 3B for a few innings and diving for a ball in the same spot he stood in RF....Marcus scored 4 runs while patrolling CF, BUT more importantly stayed for the post-game pow wow....Joltin' Joe Ponson's hitting streak was halted 49 shy of Dimaggio and he also couldn't catch with Meteors 1st basemans glove, his loss of invite to Gabe's house was totally unrelated....Cameron got himself one step closer to earning the hyphen on his jersey-He also took two steps back for making Brooksy score from 1st on multiple occasions....Phil finished off the final 3 innings on the mound and then gets to drive to St. Louis a week too late-that sucks....The kid Naldo stepped up by giving a clinic on bunting and removing the sticker from his hat-a big day in the youngsters life....Gabe went overboard with the Crystal Light and turned in a solid performance behind the dish despite using an inferior glove that seemed to not frame the ball and impeded his ability to throw out baserunners-damn glove....Kaitlyn(sp)came through clutch by picking up Cheddar before he went for seconds on the lawn nachos....Nieves walked a little taller after the game-obviously it was his unstoppable line-up that caused this behavior not the viagra....Next week the Diablos return to Goose Shit Park aka Raimundi Field....Bring your money for tacos(or mysterious pizza deliveries)and your Kevlar....oh and ladies the Nicaraguan nightmare pictured above is Hungry and Humble.

Win Beers Taste Way Better Than Tie Beers

Can words sum up the weirdness of Sunday? Probably not, but here goes...Someone called in the blimp and a flying advertisement for Sugary Buds...Cheddar nutted up and worked through a tough 6th inning to get the CG win...He also gave up an absolute BOMB that was measured from the Google Earth image above...Conservative estimates are 430 feet...Kemo gave a solid tribute to Rickey Henderson with a stand up steal...He also got his ass soaked by finding the only puddle on the dryest field we have played on all year...Federico picked up a few rbi's, but also played third base like a 53 year old...the self proclaimed house broken Cameron dropped in a few more hits but proved more clutch with his surveying skills...Miller decided to buck trends and give us a going away gift by scoring the winning run and missing cut offs(had to dude)-now go mold young minds and remember "8 year olds dude"...Marcus did his usual thing in center and in the lead off spot-his early exit from post game was due to laundry and bachelorhood...Joltin' Joe picked up where he left off with the bamboo a few weeks back but his "Fed" that he pulled on that pop-up will probably not be lived down until 2010...Coach Trejo found himself another line-up that could tear ass early and provided the incentive to win with a cold 36 pack in the cooler...AC Sanchez decided to provide free tickets to the gun show by pegging two would be base stealers early(Kemo’s creative swipe tag helped) no doubt he was aided by the return of his glove from the DL...Props go out to Nieves and Gabe venturing out for a beer run in the neighborhood...Post-game provided some laughs with Kemo almost getting mauled by a dingo, TCHNIC picking out the smallest infielder to step up to in the afternoon game and Feds stang getting the royal treatment in the form of a wash/wax with recycled Heineken and Budweiser...Oh yeah Diablos win 10-9...Look at Lou dressing the part of someone named Cheddar below...

11 Diablos - 7 Dirtbags - 2 Umpires - 1 Ice Cream Man

This Ice Cream dude cutting across the diamond was the only action San Bruno Park saw Sunday afternoon. I would like to tell you about the gem Philly tossed yesterday OR the majestic bomb that Fed hit foul OR the 3 walks that Kemo stared out of the umpire, but in all fairness to the baseball gods I won't try to pass off these lies to you. Now our significant others are a different story(unless you brought 'em to the park and they witnessed the Dirtbags not reaching the minimum). Since there was no baseball played the Diablos got an early jump on the post-game festivities which proved rather eventful. AC Sanchez once again showed why he is Public Enemy #1 to all the pigeons that roam the parks looking for cans. He also went against tradition and did all this flexing with his shirt on(sorry ladies). Eli proved once again he is made of money and racked up a fine for wrong colored socks. He didn’t allow the fashion mistake to interfere with his bullpen for the scouts. A factory recall was initiated for Ipod workout arm bands since a Diablo(who will remain anonymous)almost landed on the DL for wearing it too tight. Fortunately he won’t miss anytime at third base. Naldo graced us with his presence(albeit a little late)so we decided to tell him we had to forfeit because we were one guy short. His expression was priceless until “Poker Face” Narvaez spilled the beans. Damn you Fed we could’ve strung that one out for awhile! Joltin’ Joe made an early exit and in the spirit of the X-games decided to jump the curb. Since he didn’t get to work on his latest streak I guess he had to hit something. Talk of last weeks BOMB surrendered by Cheddar now has the estimates up to 450. Since he wasn’t here to defend himself it was pretty ruthless. That will teach him not to plan vacations during the season. Also if any of you fans are interested in experiencing a Diablo Post-Game the management is now making reservations for the Wipe-Out Grill in Marin on August 30th. We are all following Kemo’s lead that day.

"Error free baseball wins games"...What a concept

The Diablos used every trick in the book on Sunday to guarantee a 6-1 victory over the Titans...One lad celebrated his 21st(53rd) birthday by showing up glossy eyed from too many Long Island's, One fella rolled up with a semi-conscious(possibly dead) chick in the back seat and Cheddar brought his 7th inning snack of PB&J with the crusts cut off...On the field the Diablos defense showed no mercy and even turned a double play...After allowing a run in the 1st inning Cheddar clamped down on the Titans offense....He only pissed off Ebony & Ivory with lead-off walks a few times this week...AC Sanchez had an amazing day by scoring 2 runs without ever touching the plate-Eat shit David Blaine...His constant yelling behind the dish took it's toll and by the 9th inning he had the umpire fetching the balls for him- I believe thats called respecting your elders...Marcus finally got a flyball in CF for the first time in a month-He caught it and immediately acknowledged the sun worshippers in stripes...Alex Mora showed that pop-ups off a Bamboo bat cause more havoc than maple-His kick save @ 1B also proved clutch since it slowed the ball enough for Kemo to get a true hop...Cameron finally decided to stop hitting the ball with authority and had an RBI duck fart to get the Diablo offense going-contract negotiations must've stalled...After showing us his best caged animal routine Fed stepped on the field and flashed a little leather-All the yelling from Gabe probably had something to do with it...Post-Game had solid attendance including RoboCop errr Whitey and his family...Topics covered were diversity in sexual relations, 24-Hour Fitness' policy on drinking and stealing on the job and why the hell is Fed sitting in his car...And yes ladies and gentlemen Cheddar is pictured above during his Time-Out for his subtle comments directed towards Kemo's hat.

Diablos come out FLAT and still beat Rebels 12-4

Another Sunday in the park, Another Diablo victory...Cheddar tossed a beautiful chickenhawk complete game, but he had to bat for himself...the collective slap of our heads could be heard for miles...AC Sanchez decided to call out the squad as FLAT before the 1st pitch and added an exclamation point to his comment by throwing the ball into LF during a stolen base attempt-It worked...Federico showed up after a full nights sleep and picked up 3 RBI's...5 to 1 odds he shows up hungover as a muthafucka next week...Marcus tracked down some flyballs and absolutely tore up the 1st base coaching box...No doubt he had fabric softener on his mind...Phil felt that his jersey didn't have any mojo so he left it at home-Luckily for him Nieves left a little juice in his and it rubbed off...I'm guessing Nieves pre-game advice of "Put your dick into it Brother!" also helped...Kemo showed his strike zone knowledge by Big Leaguing a couple walks off of Dreyfuss(That last one was a strike Dude)…He also forgot to tell Phil that it sucks hitting behind him-$1 lesson learned…Cam continued his quest for a hyphen by scoring a couple runs and contributing nothing on defense…Don’t worry the ball will get hit to you during a crucial inning…His Kirkland Signature beer was received well during post-game although he didn’t share any of the free white t-shirts or 4 radial tires that came with said beer…Eli survived a pitch to the neck…To his credit he never went down BUT he did circle the runway a few times and I am pretty sure he got clearance to land…Atta boy…Postgame was handled with class and dignity(even allowing the inner circle to be breached by a Rebel)after anonymous sources snitched out the Diablos to the league office…Good job Deep Throat…We enjoyed our orange slices and toasted our juice boxes in your honor.

Uncle Charlie

Diablos snap their 6 game winning streak with a 5-3 loss to the Bay Sox...

How on earth did we finish 10-10?

A valid question since our record sat at 2-8 just a short while ago...Here is how it played out this past weekend...430pm on a Sunday in Marin licks nads...Watching the other squad play patty-cake when 1st pitch is supposed to be happening is even worse...Cheddar tossed another wonderful gem, but asking about stats in the book after a game is lame...yeah I said it...Marcus did his usual merry-go-round act on the bases and patrolled CF-for all this his Turkey Burger got the extra attention this year at the Wipe Out...congrats buddy...we welcomed back two prodigal sons with PR Sainz and Justin making appearances...Marin still poses challenges for our 3B, but the RBI's more than made up for it...Kemo retained the "3-0 Ho" status-only for the integrity of the game-He also got his food on time, enjoyed the cleanliness of the bathroom, noted the servers lack of flair and took his leftovers seriously...AC Sanchez was bummed about the lack of recycling generated by our post-game venue-I'm just thinking his mood was subdued since he actually drove the speed limit this year...Myrow showed up in a taxi like a big leaguer and also demonstrated how poor the grains were on his Louisville Slugger-Keep swinging brother or as Eli would say "Hit to contact"...Alex decided to show off for his family and put on a display of hops and arm strength...Joltin' Joe wore one in the same spot for the 2nd week in a row starting a new streak that he may not want to keep...Brother said lets kick some ass while he is out of town so lets do it fellas...Diablos open up the playoffs against the Blue Claws 9/12 - 2pm - Flood Park...

2009 Season : A reflection through BBQ smoke...

The Diablos were eliminated on Sunday 9-8 in a 10-inning thriller against the Benders after beating the Blue Claws 9-5 the previous day...AND YES THOSE ARE THE PLAYOFF SCOREBOOK PAGES TOASTING ON THE GRILL

Diablos wrap up Winter Meeting

Another off season has reared it's ugly head for the Diablos and baseball fans across the country. The evil empire has reclaimed the top of the mountain in the MLB and supposedly the same team won the SFNABA championship. I say supposedly because as is usually the case with the Diablos when their season ends their interest in the league ends with it. After an epic battle with the Benders ended the Diablos playoff run the front office was kicked out of hibernation.

First order of business was to arrange a sit down with Tim Lincecum and see if the numbers could be worked out. After a few hours of listening to some Pink Floyd, staring at Timmy's collection of blacklight art and watching him polish his Cy Youngs it seemed that the only logical course of action was to pop in The Big Lebowski and enjoy. Unfortunately Diablo management noticed that the fabulous hookah we had been using during negotiations was autographed by none other than Barry Zito. Suddenly visions of a 7 year/$126 million nightmare filled our collective heads and negotiations stalled. The official statement put out by our PR group indicated we did NOT end negotiations because of his citation for marijuana possession and we are sticking to it despite the rumors to the contrary. (Between you and me I would take that kind of publicity with one our players much better than say having his wife beat him with a golf club after finding out he was putting from the rough if you know what I mean). Since those negotiations little has been cooking on the hot stove. A bid for Marco Scutaro was beaten out by the Red Sox(Damn you Theo Epstein!).

This past week the brain trust(using that term loosely) for the Diablos met up at a fine establishment in Westlake. Only a team of this caliber plans a meet @ a place located in a shopping mall during the holiday season. After tearing through a few sampler platters like wild hyenas and wetting our whistles the meeting was called to order. Everyone aired their thoughts on last season and what was needed to get over the hump in 2010. McFawn and Forrest picked up right where they left off and got back to their marital bliss. Nieves showed up late as usual and took care of the bill(Coach you will always be a champion). PR Sainz vowed to halt his nomadic existence and bring his glove on game days. AC Sanchez showed disappointment throughout the meeting since the weather and state law barred him from drinking shirtless.

The main topic of discussion turned to a serious allegation of poaching going on for the second year in a row. After two years in the league it is clear to all that play against the Diablos we enjoy the game AND post-game. A good team in our eyes enjoys giving it all between the lines and ripping each other a new one after it's all said and done. Nobody is on this team because they went to some try-out and had Lloyd from Entourage pat their ass and offer them a hand job. We certainly don't call players and disparage their current teams in an effort to lure them to our squad. This type of behavior is for guys who are still bitter about being picked last and/or having a strong resemblance to the above picture. This part of the update is for only one person so most of you out there don't need to read any further...Knock that shit off
Diablo veterans Ryan Brooks and Justin McFawn take time off their busy off-season schedules to enjoy the finer things...Beer and stolen property.

1st adult beverage induced bet of the season

After the first (un)official workout of the season a familiar sound is heard. The prideful boasts of half-buzzed Diablo veterans. Either way we have the first bet of the season as witnessed by Justin and Alfredo. Kemo "Athlete" Lary and Forrest Narvaez have put $20 and a 12 pack on who will have more stolen bases during the 2010 campaign. Seriously. Let's hope the next few weeks bring even more wagers on athletic performance. Unlike the MLB we encourage this type of behavior.

Shomer Shabbos

We have received the first six games of the schedule. Lo and behold our friend down at the league office(Berkhalter?) has scheduled us for 2 double-headers in the first 4 weeks of the season. I thought we told that Kraut a thousand times we don't roll on Shabbos. Get your day planners out or start scratching these dates on your cave walls. It's going to be a loooooong season.

Guess who's coming to dinner

March 28, 2010
A sunny day in the park, Battle scarred shoulders cracking during warm-ups, Smokers coughing in the back of the bullpen and Players praying the last loop on their belt will be sufficient. Yes fans the Diablos have started another season. A 6-2 victory had the fellas in good spirits on Saturday. Some fresh faces have found their way to the squad, but most of the roster is still made of the usual suspects. Opening Day 2010 brought a new squad, the Red Devils, to the Diablos door step. After having the junkyard dog "politely" tell them they needed to change their names and colors at the league meeting earlier this year we figured an extra effort was going to be needed. Also the right to represent the Prince of Darkness in the SFNABA was on the line. Coach Trejo decided early in pre-season to give the Opening Day nod to Cheddar Gardella. He pitched well enough to earn the start(plus we didn't have anyone else). Ched didn't disappoint. A solid 6-inning effort was given, BUT eye witness testimony has confirmed that he spoke of stats from preseason before the game. That led to about 76 full counts which had Kemo "Athlete" Lary talking to himself. Making his Diablo debut Mark Pacheco did not disappoint. His 3-inning Bruce Sutter style save is the kind of effort that usually leads to contract extensions. Several nicknames were tossed around, but the consensus for now is to call him firewood. The offense was led by Justin "I'll piss all over your shit" McFawn driving in 3-RBIs. Kemo picked up another 2-RBI's. Marcus "where are the flyballs" Reed did his usual thing and scored a couple runs at the top of the line-up. Ryan "How many fingers do you see" Brooks laid down a textbook sac bunt and also took a pitch off his dome. Tough day for the SS, but it wasn't anything a few Budweisers couldn't take care of. Other highlights included Joltin' Joe Chaika showing us how to take a walk, score 2 runs and piss of an umpire. Gabe "Control your Child" Sanchez making a circus catch behind the plate AND helping families in the park learn how to police their children. What a guy! Federico "My Bad" Narvaez making a diving stop @ 1B in super slo-mo. No seriously it was slow as a hell. All in all a good way to start off the season.

The picture accompanying today's update is a re-enactment of what should've been the final out of the game. Brooksy is showing excellent form for the flip to second. Kemo looks EXACTLY how he did during the play...minus the Bud Light.

Diablos dominate in 8-0 victory

After a week of rain threatened to ruin our weekend the sun made an appearance and the Diablos didn't disappoint. Getting his first start of the season Marcelo Pacheco showed why GM Sainz traveled the 7,000 miles to scout this kid. He also now leads the SFNABA in "Who the hell is this kid?" from the opposing teams. Cheddar Gardella finished things up by throwing a curveball that led to an ejection. I still don't know how the game ended and I was standing on the infield. Like usual the Diablo offense took care of business, but left waaaaay too many runners on base. I believe it was 15 this week. Marcus "Scorsese" Reed got things started at the top of the lineup. Ripping gap shots and filming Oscar worthy moments on the diamond. Brooksy wore another ball off his dome. Seriously who did this guy piss off? Athlete Lary upped the batting average and played a boringly efficient 2B. It's pretty easy when they bounce right at you. Kid Orozco hobbled in from the barrio and had three hits. His mini-celebrations seemed to piss off the All Blacks, but nobody wins when you criticize the handicapped. The real hero of the day was Fed "My Bad" Narvaez. After getting grief from everyone for getting hosed at home plate during the pre-season he vowed to hit the gym and never let it happen again. Well I am pretty sure he hasn't gone to the gym, but he decided to hit the ball a little further so he could actually make it all the way home. For the second week in a row his defense was solid. Beginning your typical 3-6-1 double play and picking everything in sight. Great game Fed. Next week the Diablos begin their death march of three double headers in a row. Come on out and cheer them on OR talk shit. Either way we enjoy fans in the stand no matter what team the support. Unless it's the Dodgers. Then your ass has got to go.

This weeks picture is PR Sainz after a long day of signing prospects and telling people what to do.

Sunday Double Header scheduled for Balboa-Shit field

For the 17th time this week the venue for our double header has changed. The latest change has us playing at Balboa Park. Not the real field at Balboa, but the piece of crap located near the freeway that is only good for BP and having sex in the bleachers(if your not interested in giving the extra effort to get over to Crocker and hump in the dugout). Let's hope that we all don't receive emails Saturday night at 11:59pm telling us our game has been moved to the dark side of the moon. Stay classy scheduling gods.

Diablos lose, win and create new dance to finish off April

Apologies to the Diablo faithful. The lack of updates for the past few weeks can be blamed on A)having a job, B)planning a wedding and C)general apathy caused by having some douche named Venereal screw with our baseball karma...I guess we'll start with our 7-2 loss to the Benders a few weeks back. It was summed up well by a Diablo veteran with this line "Lou gave up the ass." Short, simple and to the point. I'm pretty sure some weak hitting also helped, but blaming Lou is so much easier. After loading our guts with Bravo Pizza we promptly lost the second game of that double header to the Black Sox. Pacheco pitched well enough for a victory, but the Diablo line-up provided shit for runs and the final score had us behind 3-2. I guess the only excitement was our junkyard dog barking with theirs. Staying true to form the team rallied in the parking lot and the two losses were forgotten in about 20 minutes. A new dance called the "Fed" was created. All three steps are illustrated in the picture above. It's such a sensation they're doing it in Egypt. This past weekend proved much better on the field for the good guys. A double header with the Rebels seems to be just what the doctor ordered. Here are some highlights from the weekend...Pacheco got the W in game 1 and stole 3rd base(his head first slide looked to have begun about 3 steps off 2B)...Marcus ripped the hell out of the ball and caused general havoc on the base paths...Kemo decided to try and use a "Barrel over Niagara" slide into second base...He got the stolen base and also showed us how well baseball bats can be used as walking canes...Lou pitched a gem in the second game and talked enough shit to now be the 3rd best hitting pitcher on the team...Fed barfed during infield/outfield, got a stern talking to from Papa Gabriel and had a huge catch in foul territory...He also created a new kangaroo court fee which has come to be a weekly thing with him...Coach decided to send the team a message and ordered Diet Coke for the mid-day snacking...Not cool Nieves...Joltin' Joe decided to bust some municipal property, almost kill some dude sun bathing and make Gabe feel better about RF...Ivan played some solid 3B and performed the first ever "Fed" at 1st base...Alfredo arrived in a cab and decided to sacrifice his bat to the BMW gods...He also hit the cut off like a man possessed...Justin kept his hitting stroke going, struck out the side in his only inning of work and showed that the worst spot to throw the ball to him is right in the glove...Of course we post-gamed like champs and even out lasted the communist soccer players in the parking lot...Next up is the Mad Dogs in Oak-town...Now the official instructions on how to do the "Fed"...You do one to the left and then one to the right. This is repeated until the chorus of the song. You then lift your mid-section like a fat guy pulling his pants up and run in the opposite direction. Preferrable done with about 5 guys in varying degrees of a drunken stupor.
The Diablos took that long trip to the up & coming city of Hayward for a twilight game against the San Francisco Sea Lions. Upon arrival the squad was in good spirits and ready to playball, then the game actually started and frustration set in early for the Diablos. After a quick top half of the first inning the Diablos spent the bottom half watching the merry go round that only a few walks and few scattered hits can create. The bats remained quiet for a few inings with the Diablos only managing a few scattered hits here and there. The "head up our ass" style of play continued for the Diablos with sluggish defense and poor pitch selection on offense. We outright sucked donkey balls the whole game only make a real game in the top of 9th with a nice rally the came up just short. Smarter baseball is the only way to get back on track and it only begs the questions...is it to early to sacrifice a chicken? And yes we are still undefeated in the parking lot.
Diablos win and picked up a homeless guy to play left...

Double Header sweep over Divisional opponent

Hello old friend. Yes your friendly chronicler of all things Diablos is back on Americano soil. Lots has happened since the last time we've chatted. The Diablo sinners have seen a founding member of the tribe tie the knot and run their record to 7-5. What, What, What you ask. Here are some highlights from this past weekend where your beloved Diablos swept a Double-Header from the divisional foe Red Giants(11-8 and 8-3 respectively)...The Red Gmen showed up around sunrise prepped and ready for battle...The Diablos stumbled in one at a time checking their equipment inventory and forgetting they were supposed to pick up fellow players...The Diablos threw a pitching sequence of Sasquatch, Hidalgo(1st career Diablo victory) and Junkyard at 'em early which left everything up to the offense to score a few runs and get the victory...Kemo decided to put on a clinic for the youngsters and break out the grave digger slide...it worked...Marcus celebrated turning (murmur) by scoring every time he reached base...Alfredo proved that a little incentive like having your Mom show up never hurts...Cam's Mom cemented her place as numero uno fan...Lou got back to just pitching and dominated in the night cap. This week a late trip to Hayward puts the Diablos against the Beavers at like 11pm. Just kidding. Not Really.

Diablos shit the bed in Hayward

The Diablos traveled to the East Bay on Sunday to take on the Beavers(great team name...seriously) and found that losing 4-3 in Hayward at 10pm on a Sunday evening sucks. Some highlights from the day...Diablos shoot their wad early and score all three in the 1st inning...Cheddar tossed a gem stone that couldn't be supported by the offense...Might have to look into his theory about us not scoring for him...Nah...PR Sainz decided to play Superman in RF...then the ball landed...Sharpshooter Lary felt that the fans in the bleachers were nodding off so he decided to scatter them with his relay on a double play attempt...WOW...Hyphen Cam came back from Vegas(looking like he came back from Vegas)and found that only on the Diablos can a man go to Sin City and still have his level of debauchery topped by someone who stayed home...O'Shanahan showed off the Potato Gun from LF and hosed a would be runner at the plate...He then went on a rant about how France screwed Ireland out of the World Cup...Justin managed to have a solid day at the plate and still reach his quota of "FUCKS" for the day.

11 inning loss renews Diablo hatred for Hayward

Diablos get wood at West Sunset

A shocking development occured this past weekend. The Diablos actually played in San Francisco. Taking advantage of this rare occasion they pulled out a tough 6-4 victory over the Wood. Here are a few highlights from the game..."Cannon" Sanchez decided to finally watch his Tom Emanski VHS and gunned down a couple of would be base stealers...Ivan flashed some fine leather work at the hot corner and showed us a couple of versions of the "barrel roll" slide into 2B...Yeti Pacheco showed some speed on the basepaths with a couple of stolen bases-He also murdered a perfectly good bamboo bat...dick...Marcus did his usual lockdown in CF and probably gave the opposing catcher nightmares all this week with his easy swipes of second...Cheddar Gardella served up some stinky Gouda in the 1st inning, but managed to settle down and get the CG win...PR Sainz summed it up best during post-game "The bottle won."...The lovely female fan for the opposing team triumphantly announcing she loves wood...Unfortunately we were without Brother Trejo who was injured while filming a Do-It-Yourself episode for HGTV. Get well soon Brother!

R.I.P. Lou Brown

Diablos pimp slap the Isotopes

This past Sunday your beloved Diablos knocked off their division rival the Isotopes by a score of 9-8. Splitting the season series 1-1. It was a typical affair for the Diablos as they got out to an early lead and gave it all back before it was over. Except this time they added a run(thanks in large part to Kemo's athleticism)and held on for the victory. To say the games between these two teams are friendly would be quickly followed by a call of BULLSHIT! The Isotopes have taken offense to the 27 hit batters they have received from the Diablos this season and I can't say I blame them. The Diablos pretty much piss off every team they play and cordially return the dislike at every turn. It's what fires them up. I believe his team would go 0-20 if there wasn't some kind of chip on their shoulder(real or imaginary). This week's game was no different. After racing off to a 5-0 lead Cheddar decided to do his usual 2 out nobody on rally for the other team and beaned the Isotopes 2 batter. With the Isotopes already whining on pretty much every call that went against them(and successfully talking the umpires into overturning their own calls on a few occasions...unbelievable)this particular incident was no different. Except for the fact that the hit batter in question acted like a little bitch and threatened our pitcher while pointing to his own dugout. Rule #1 if you are going to act tough and threaten a pitcher after getting beaned don't point to your dugout like they are going to save you. It just makes you look like a Ho. The situation was quickly taken care of when said Ho immediately tried to steal second base and was gunned out by Cannon Sanchez. Baseball karma at it's finest. With a flurry of runs scored from the 5th to the 8th inning the score was now 8-8. The stage was set for a dramatic finish. Kemo "Should I be offended" Lary started off the inning with walk. He would probably like me to tell you about how he worked the count and took some tough pitches, but I won't. During the next at-bat he stole second. It wasn't just a straight steal, but a gift from the other team since the infielder dropped the throw from the catcher. Of course this infielder was the same one who we already mentioned above. My guess is he would have been able to tag our runner if he had used his mouth to catch the ball, but he pulled a Roger Dorn and there stood Kemo at 2B. With a deep fly ball to RF off the bat of Raul(hitting for Dennis since his hammy popped jogging in from LF between innings....no shit Diablo fans this is how we injure ourselves)Kemo was able to tag up and reach 3B. He did get a little offended by the dugout screaming for him to tag up so he made it interesting and didn't go back to the bag until after the ball was caught. Thanks for the heart attack. With a sac fly off the bat of Ivan we scored the go ahead run and Cheddar creamed in his pants. In the 9th Nuke Pacheco exorcised his own Demons from a few weeks back and nailed down the W. A solid team effort all the way around. Defense was good and the situational hitting came up big. Tune in next week to find out how your Diablos do in their double header against the Fog...

Can you believe douche is spelled with only three letters...LOU

Breaking a champagne bottle, raping a black cat, walking under a ladder, picking up a tails up penny, stepping on the foul line. These are all things that would've probably not pissed off the baseball gods. The above pictured Facebook chat has gotten their attention. I'm sure of it.

We're Baaaaaaaaaack

Welcome back Diablo faithful. With another year of New Year's hangovers lasting longer than most resolutions we embark on the 2011 season with a promise of more drunken wagers and debauchery. Plans are in the works for a Winter Meeting in the near future. Since more than half of our squad probably doesn't check this website(or know how to turn on a computer)a Brett Favre style text message will be sent to all.

Explanation of the picture above: We have titled this one "Deal with the Devil". From the drunken fog I believe the wager was that Lou couldn't strike out Alfredo. Can't remember what the stakes were(probably beer, reefer or gold bricks).

The thought bubbles from left to right:

Pacheco: "I can't believe you shook his hand...You know Lou doesn't wipe properly!"

Kemo: "Look at this dumb muthafucka right here. I will NEVER field another one of his grounders."

Alfredo: "I don't know if I'm excited about this bet or Raul's hand up my ass!"

Raul: "Hey Fredo wheres your wallet?"

Justin: "Should I steal Lou's soul through his mouth or eyes?"

Lou: "Oh Wow Fredo uses the same moisturizer as me."


Like all great works of art there may have been some things you missed in your first viewing of the picture.

1. Kemo is flipping Lou off from the table
2. Alfredo's neck vein is bulging which is usually a tell tale sign of ass play
3. Even the Birds of Paradise behind Lou are mocking him.

1st practice of the year

Calling all Diablos. Our first practice of the season has been set. Sunday 2/13/11 @ Balboa Park 2:30pm. Bring your equipment because Brother says he is going to burn us with his new space age hip.

Picture above is untitled. We had to wait until Kemo started snoring to get him to pose with the A's Championship trophy. I am pretty sure he is still unaware of the assault.

This muthafucka won't shut up

Radio

The Diablos kicked off their spring with a double header sweep in Napa. Fine performances were turned in by all who bothered to show up. Brother ordered pizza and it was devoured like a pack of hobo's had showed up in Diablos jerseys. Next games are scheduled for Sunday 3/20 at Balboa Park. Be there by 1100. Today's picture was shot by Joe Chaika while deftly handling a beer in his other hand. It is a very rare sighting of a Kemo caught in his natural urban habitat fending off an attack from an elusive shopping cart.

Diablos lay Opening Day egg

The 2011 season opened with all the pomp and fanfare of a wet fart this past weekend for the Diablos as they lost to the Black Sox 10-8. Getting the start for the Diablos was Ched Gardella. Usually when a guy holds a team hitless through the first 5 innings you would think his team was in control. Not these guys. The Diablo defense was atrocious, offensive and just plain pathetic on Sunday. Brooks Conrad decided to suit up and play SS. His multiple abortions on the field led one spectator to later comment "Brooksy needs some glue for his glove". We thought of calling Elmer's but his penchant for eating the stuff when he was younger has the front office looking for other alternatives. The offense was led by a 3 hit day for CF Marcus Reed. Hyphen Yuen-Shore spent most his day on base and scored 2 runs. "Cans" Sanchez pushed the hands of father time back a bit and showed some clutch hitting knocking in a couple of 2-out RBI's. PR Sainz back from his scouting trip to the Peruvian mountains left it all out on the field. Seriously. There is a large amount of skin somewhere on the Balboa diamond. The Diablo rookie class looks strong this season led by Nico "hyphen junior" Madrigal who showed some solid base running and even chipped in an RBI. Robbie "I don't own a watch" Rodriguez scored a run and flashed some fine leather with a diving stop at 3B. Nick Imbody added a hit in his debut and was found to have a strong affection for Matt Holliday during the post game powwow. Overall there wasn't much to take away from this game for the Diablos. Hopefully next week will bring them better fortune as they battle the Blue Claws.

Diablos salvage a split in DH with the Blazers

This past Sunday your Diablos decided to cover the entire spectrum of emotions one can experience on a baseball diamond. From the gut wrenching feeling that accompanies losing the first game in the bottom of the ninth and the euphoria of laying pipe to every Blazer that toed the slab in the second game. On this particular day Yeti Pacheco came to play. Zeke got the nod to start game #1, Rooftop Gardella(we'll explain the new name in a minute) was busy sniffing peoples luggage at the airport, and did not disappoint. He tossed 7 strong innings only giving up 2 runs. Squatch was helped by a couple of defensive gems turned in by Gabe "Screw the glove" Sanchez and Rook Imbody. Early in the game the Blazers showed some sand by challenging the defense and sending runners from 3rd that really had no business going. Gabe came out to receive a short relay throw and displayed some amazing misdirection(more like an old man trying to break his hip) and confused the umpire just enough to get him called out. Later in the game Nick "The Body" showed shades of Joe Rudi and fired off a bullet from RF to hose yet another runner. The Diablo offense showed all the thump of a dried twig and only mustered 4 runs. It would've been enough to score a win for the Diablo starter, but the bullpen and defense imploded and the Blazers were victorious 5-4. After filling their bellies with pizza and humble pie the Diablos decided not to leave this one up to the baseball gods. The Diablo offense finally located the bat rack and used every inch of lumber at their disposal turning out 17 hits in a 14-1 victory. Marcus "I declined my alarm clocks friend request" Reed scored 3 runs from the lead off spot. Brooksy rediscovered his texas league stroke and dropped in 3 hits. Accessories Sainz drove a toaster oven to the game, bought a new helmet and managed to stroke two doubles. The domestic life seems to be working for him. Kemo "Still got it!" Lary managed to steal 3 bases over the course of the day and didn't need assistance to his car after the game. A big step for the old timer. New comer Nico Madrigal-SomethingorOther showed his poise in the field and scored a few runs as well. Joe "BYU" Chaika conjured up some good karma with my car keys and dropped in an RBI-single when his number was called. Blue Shoes McFawn kept his Ripken-esque streak alive with another session of yelling BALK! Take-Out-Yuen-Shore hit the ball hard and had nothing to show for it. He also located a helpful arm angle and gunned down a stolen base attempt. On this day though the real stud was Mark "Fuck Harry and the Hendersons" Pacheco. After showing Nieves his awesome hitting prowess by breaking a bat during practice a few weeks back he has been locked in at the plate. His 5th inning Home Run was a Ruthian blast. It was able to avoid the tall grass, skip off the first cut and finally come to a rest somewhere on the Peninsula. A fruitcake style attempt at throwing his hands up for a ground rule double by the Blazer LF was met with a chuckle by the umpire.The trajectory of it's flight had all Diablos in attendance remembering the absolute B-O-M-B Lou gave up in Oakland hence the new Rooftop nickname. By the end of the game Abominable Pacheco had 4 RBI's and his lady on his arm. Not a bad day. I only waited this long to mention Gardella's performance because I can actually see him as I type this getting pissed his zero walk outing wasn't the lead in. Rooftop was in control from the first pitch. Limiting the Blazers to only 1 run and striking out....well you can ask him how many strikeouts he had. The more important number was his doughnut hole in the walk column. There were forces of nature we don't quite understand at play on Sunday. It is almost as certain as the sun rising in the East tomorrow that Gardella will walk the 1st batter he faces in his next start. Brother Trejo showed his left arm still works and pretty much sent every runner that touched third base. Brother also pawned Modelo off on his ball club. I've put in a complaint to Anheuser Busch. Way to salvage a split and roll into Easter break on an upbeat note. Today's picture has been titled "Hanging with Huxtable". Three things happening while this picture was taken 1)White men were over biting because of the play list streaming from "Kemos" ipod 2)Satellites were struggling to support his 1997 flip phone while he searched for Rooftops crime scene photos from the Biggity Biggity-O 3)Mr. Lary was inadvertently displaying his T-Rex style attempt to catch balls at 1st base......Bam

Diablos all Abbottabad it at Stenzel Park

First off the San Francisco Diablos would like to thank SEAL team six for dispatching of Osama Bin Laden over the weekend. I believe Charlie Sheen would call that WINNING. Whether it was coincidence or not the Diablos handed the Wood a 12-1 loss that probably felt like a bullet to the head. Making the trek to Stenzel Park(Who the hell is 35 Wagoner?) in San Leandro for a 430pm first pitch did not put smiles on the Diablos faces. Somehow we overcame this intrusion on our post game festivities and continued our recent offensive explosion. The offense was led by PR Sainz rapping out three hits. His pre-game strategy was to hit into the foliage on the fly, but he decided that peppering the right side of the infield would be most prudent. The crack of his bat was replaced with the war cry of sobriety! A snafu with his socks has him wondering if the laundry service is stealing from him. Hyphen-decided –to-barrel-up-a-couple-of-hits. His-throwing-with-the-local-10-year-olds-has-helped-him-find-an-arm-slot. The Diablo 2 thru 5 hitters scored a total of 9 runs. Getting the start for your Diablos was Yeti Pacheco. Despite not having his A game he gutted out 5 innings with only 1 run allowed. He even fielded his position without spiking any throws to first. Rooftop finished off the final 2 innings, but couldn’t avoid douching it up when he gave up a “laser” shot single to CF. His expletive outburst had the Umpire asking WTF. On behalf of the Diablo organization we apologize for his mental incompetence. Next Saturday your Diablos will be facing the Wood, once again, at Moscone 12pm. With a second game against a non-divisional opponent on the schedule the League Office was obviously thinking…….I don’t know what the hell they were thinking. Today’s photo is titled “Look Ma I played”. I believe Alfredo felt his phone had better picture taking ability then it actually does. Either way the photo of the tree he hit with his monstrous foul ball didn’t come out.

Hecho En San Francisco

On Thursday the Diablos won the "Takin' Care of Business" award at Balboa Park. With Brother Nieves still on his scouting trip to Houston we all had to pull together and gather equipment from the four corners of the Earth. Crystal Light Sanchez had a "Senior(or is it Senor) Moment" and forget to pass along every piece of the L-Screen. No worries. With all the college degrees and life experience we could muster a make shift screen was created. Somewhere MacGyver just nodded his head in approval. Some interesting things are happening in the picture above. Nick has a familiar grip on the bat as if he were home alone, Yeti seems to be auditioning for 1st base in the back ground and Robert is doing his best impression of a New Kids on the Block album cover. Well done guys!

Diablos head butt Wood in 11-6 victory

Saturday baseball in San Francisco! The Diablos took this opportunity last weekend to show the world what they are made of. A motley bunch that can come through with a clutch hit or leave a ton of runners on base, field their positions with poise and excellence or absolutely murder a routine play. Taking the ball this week for the good guys was none other than Rooftop Gardella. With the bar set extremely high the week before he had a lot to live up to. Without the command of his A game he gutted it out and held the Wood scoreless through 5 innings. Enough time for the offense to sit in the driveway and warm up like a ’71 Pinto. Rooftop ended up going the distance for the victory with the Kemo led mantra of “Get yours Lou!” Leading the offense was none other than Yeti Pacheco. Who in true Diablo fashion decided to save his Grand Salami for the 9th inning. Couldn’t have used that earlier. Bear Lary got things going with a triple in the early innings. Thoughts of a homer were quickly squashed when he had time to check his pulse while rounding second. His executive decision to avoid Nieves windmill around third was appreciated by all in attendance including AMR. Junkyard McFawn once again proved to be the most rabid in the line-up. After breaking his bat on a hit by pitch(a first in Diablo history!)he needed an escort to first base. All hurt feelings were soothed when Tecate Shanahan revealed “He fills our special needs quota!” The Diablo dugout also doubled as the set of Animal Kingdom with Alfredo’s cone headed love child and Gabe’s lethal killer roaming around. This Saturday the Diablos look to continue their winning ways against the Titans @ 3pm Balboa Park. Today's photo is titled "...wow..." That was pretty much all you could mutter after Rooftop decided to ATTEMPT to field a pop up on the infield. After he Cansecoed it in fair territory everyone was left to wonder who's ball was it? After careful consideration we are going to place full blame on Short-Line-Yuen-Shore. At that point in the game AC Sanchez Crystal Light had worn off so he was not going to get it.

Diablos slay Titans 8-1

This past Saturday the Diablos returned to more familiar grounds at Balboa Park for a clash with the Titans. While warming up during the game before us it was noticed that a Black Sox fan was molesting his dog in the bleachers. Passing it off with a shrug and thinking "Hey it's San Francisco" the Diablos did not realize it was a sign of things to come. Rooftop Gardella decided to treat the Titan lineup as if it were his own small furry victim. With pinpoint accuracy and occasionally serviceable breaking stuff he kept the opponents off balance to the tune of 19 strikeouts. With that kind of pitching the Diablos weren't going to need much offense this day, but they decided to score more than the bare minimum. Sobriety Sainz ended his drought of biblical proportions with a 2 hit-2 run performance. Too bad his skirt wasn't watching, but I'm sure he told her he went 5 for 4 with 12 rbi's. Crystal Light Sanchez took the LF's disrespect and turned it into an rbi triple. Don't let the grey chin whiskers fool you. Rook Rodriguez had his first significant day with lumber and knocked in a couple rbi's. Rumors in the parking lot that he is Nieve's long lost love child have not been proven. Check it out the next time they stand near each other. Jose Cruz Imbody missed a fly ball because the tent he pitched got in the way. He quickly made up for it by starting the 5-run 6th inning rally that would put the game out of reach. While post gaming in the parking lot Rooftop couldn't control himself and complained about not getting 20 K's. This was met with no sympathy from the squad. It was then Joe "Can't hit into a friggin double play when he needs to" Chaika whispered that he had reached 20. The scorebook was checked. The claim was confirmed. Partying commenced. Congrats Lou for joining the likes of Roger, RJ and Kerry. Of course they did it in the bigs, but hey good job anyways! Today's picture is titled "Pimpin' bitches in the bushes." It served as transportation for Skin knee Shanahan. It was also his rallying cry for his plans to attend the Bay to Breakers.

Diablos take two from Red Giants

This past weekend the Diablos survived the Rapture and took two from divisonal foe the Red Giants. Actually the Diablo bullpen must've been taken away because Yeti and Rooftop decided to toss a couple of complete games. In game #1 Yeti was in control from the first pitch. He also brought his gold glove defense and turned in a couple of underhanded gems to 1B. Yeti's rock and fire pace was a gift from heaven compared to the human rain delay that was pitching for the RG's. His antics of wander around after ever pitch and Geneva convention meetings when runners reached base did slow the Diablos the first few innings. After almost pulling out the tarp a few times the offense finally showed up. "Mothers Day" Reed smacked a triple and double from the top of the lineup. Abominable Pacheco scored three runs. Ginger Imbody knocked in a couple of RBIs while murdering his bat and had absolutely zero plays in RF. Love Child Rodriguez continued his hitting streak and knocked in a few runs as well. Game #2 was a completely different story. Rooftop showed up a little late since he was busy sniffing ladies under garments at the airport and immediately said he was sorry. Despite not having his A, B or C+ game he slogged through 9 innings and earned his 4th win of the season. Kemo "I gotta play the field?" Lary got on base all 4 times he batted and also turned a sweet double play. Word is his agent has already contacted management about re-negotiating his deal. Hendu Imbody slid over to CF and did his best Marcus impression while tracking down a fly ball late in the game. He also chipped in 2 RBIs and boasted that he will take down Pacheco for the RBI crown this season. Messin' with Sasquatch is not advised. Sobriety Sainzwent hitless, but worked some counts and scored some key runs. It happens to everyone! Child care Madrigal had a few hits and talked some shit to the captain. He will most definitely be batting 10th or 11th next week. Overall a good day for the Diablos who earned a week off before they head to Oakland to play a sunrise game against the All Blacks.

Wow

The Diablos were rained out this week on a sunny day. Try and figure that one out. At least that didn't keep our elderly part of the roster from catching some afternoon Z's at the BBQ.

Record crowd witness Diablos (kind of) sweep Double Header

When I say “kind of” I mean the Diablos kissed their sister and earned a tie with the rival Isotopes in Game 1. When I say “record crowd” I mean we had a total attendance in the low 20’s with a surprise visit from a bag lady posing as Justin’s date. We had all the makings for an awesome day of baseball . Yeti Pacheco was celebrating his birthday so a horde of Sasquatch enthusiasts made their way to the Marina in hopes of catching a glimpse of the mythical beast. Pacheco didn’t disappoint. In an effort that rivaled Jack Morris in the ’91 World Series Yeti tossed an obscene 11 inning effort. Unfortunately all he got was a complete game tie and the embarrassment that goes along with not being able to wipe your ass properly for a week….Apologies to Mrs. Yeti. The Diablos got off to a fast start scoring 5 runs in the 1st inning. Nick “Can I get a flyball” Imbody led the offense with 3 RBI’s. Take-Out-Yuen-Shore knocked in a couple RBI’s and didn’t kill any middle infielders with short hops. Well done. Brooksy and Squatch each chipped in 2 hits a piece, but the real game 1 offensive hero was Alfredo “TIMBER!!!” Sainz. His absolute disintegration of two bats(Think Joe Theisman’s leg)was only an appetizer for his main course that followed in game 2. After running through his own lumber he set his sights on the log that is known as a “team bat”. You know what came next. Involuntary Batslaughter. Taking inventory on the Diablos “Deadwood Wall of Shame” Fredo is now the team leader by a wide margin. Joe Chaika also chipped in doing his best Ogilvie impression and found some Isotope accounting errors which lead to him earning 1/3 inning . Sufficed to say it’s the best arm slot you’ve had all year! But the Isotopes clawed back to tie it 6-6 in the 9th and Bud Selig appeared from the bushes(or was it the depths of hell) and called it a tie in the 11th inning. Game 2 proved to be a little more exciting as there was a Fireworks show planned for the 7th inning that neither team knew about. Rooftop Gardella got the ball and didn’t disappoint limiting the Isotopes to 3 runs for the game. I would list his strikeout total, but his shouting and total number of erections during the game cancelled them all out. Kemo “A mans got to know his limitations” Lary laid some pipe when he crushed a ball to the other diamond(was rooftop pitching to you?) for a hom….errrr….triple. He also flashed his athleticism with a stolen base. All in attendance learned the true meaning of “Hungry and Humble”. The Fireworks I alluded to were set off when the Isotope lead off hitter decided to play tough guy and took out Iron Man Sanchez on a play at the plate. Last time I checked this was a no contact league, but I guess the rules don’t apply to certain teams. In his Crystal Light induced state Gabe gave a Brent Jones style spike of the ball and butt hurt feelings took over from there. Kudo’s on the Lebron style flop from the Isotopes lead off hitter. You looked just as ridiculous as they do in the NBA. Unfortunately a Diablo who was trying to keep the peace was ejected from the ball game and will most likely miss our next game. Poor judgement from the umpires, but hey that’s something we’ve come to expect these past few years. After cooler heads prevailed the game ended with a 6-3 Diablo victory.

Diablos drop back to back games

Diablos lose to the Grays 8-5 on Saturday and 11-8 to the Mad Dogs on Sunday. Consecutive losses didn't keep Lou from inviting all Diablos to the gun show...

Diablos split Double Header with offensively named Tsunami

Sunday's double dip featured the triumphant return to the mound by "Oil Can" Lary...

Diablos edge Phitans in extra innings

A lot has happened since last we chronicled your favorite weekend warriors. We've seen some wins and more losses. We've been no-hit. We've been ejected more than Maverick and Goose AND we've seen an Umpire lose his shit and go all Ryan Leaf on the Diablos dugout. Basically it's been entertaining as hell and business as usual for your beloved sons of Satan. If you were lucky to have been one of the 17 people who witnessed Diablos v. Phitans this Saturday then you saw some great pitching by both sides punctuated by a well placed lob wedge that sent us home with 1-0 victory. Toeing the slab on this fine overcast afternoon was Yeti Pacheco. Not hearing any creaks from his back during warm-ups must mean he has found a new pile of rocks to sleep on. His 6 innings of shut-out ball were welcomed by Brother Trejo. Yeti also got an early start on his winter firewood by shattering three bats. The Phitans don’t appreciate you dipping into their wallets like that. The Diablo offense was led by….well nobody. I don’t think we can call 4 hits offense. Credit to the Phitan pitcher who ended up throwing something like 250 pitches in his complete game loss. We made him look like Steve Carlton with a ridiculous amount of K’s. Striding in from the corn fields(or was it the bath house?) came Rooftop Gardella. His chicken hawk “W” was well deserved since his relief appearance only produced one laser beam single. In the end it was Kemo working a 2-out walk and Brooksy doing what he does best with a duck fart that pushed a run across and got the Diablos to the parking lot. Today’s photo has been properly titled “Ebony and Ivory”. We have Brooksy giving a dramatic “Miracle” style speech. Rooftop is updating his Facebook status. Nieves is daydreaming about what Chinese takeout he is going to order later. Gabe has a “que” look on his face while preparing to snort his Crystal Light. The real treat was probably missed in your initial viewing of the photo. Kemo has decided to let loose the python(notice the pants halfway down)in hopes it would fire up the fellas. Not sure if it worked, but it sure put a smile on Imbo’s face as he stares DIRECTLY AT IT!

Diablos play 9 against 11 and beat the Black Sox 10-0

This past weekend the Diablos had their 3rd straight sellout at Balboa Park. This weeks attendance hit the high teens and was the most vocal crowd we’ve had yet. Or at least that’s what the umpires thought in giving them a warning for using the “F” word. Hey Blue next time bend over and use your good eye when calling balls and strikes and worry less about what your rabbit ears hear. The game ended with a 10-0 Diablo victory over the Black Sox, but it had none of the flair that comes with beating someone into submission. Today’s update will be done with a breakdown of each players performance starting from position numero uno.

“Rooftop” Gardella actually had to bat. Thanks Justin. It’s been about 12 years since I’ve seen someone swing at a pitch that hit ‘em. We were treated to that and a couple of dribblers that 3B couldn’t handle. His claims of OBP mastery actually made me throw up in my mouth a little. His 8-inning CG shutout victory was sprinkled with laser beam singles, but hey his mind was on hitting. Did I mention he swung at a pitch that hit him? His shotgunning of only 2 beers this week was appreciated most of all by Kemo's lighter.

“Aluminum Cans” Sanchez didn’t start any altercations with the other team this week. His Crystal Light was mixed with some bammer so he was a little less agitated. It still didn’t keep him from being warned for using the “F” word behind the plate too much. He also contributed to Junkyard getting ejected because he couldn’t throw the runner out HA. His post-game attire screamed “Is it cold in here?”

“PR” Sainz showed up with the energy of a thousand tweakers. His pre-game pep talk consisted of telling the guys to play like Diablos(multiple warnings from the umps, an ejection and no offense until the third trip through the order) and that’s just what happened. He seemed to be having an enjoyable afternoon until he crumbled to the ground after a breaking pitch squared up his elbow. His vow to never drop to the fetal position on a baseball diamond again will haunt him the rest of his playing days.

“Junkyard” McFawn totally dictated how his day would go when his first words to me in the dugout were “I’m in the mood to talk shit today”. True to his word he got himself ejected in the 2nd inning by an umpire who showed up looking for a fight. Unbelievable stat of the day: This is Justin’s 1st SFNABA ejection. Junkyard later was ejected from the stands and played “Where’s Waldo?” for the remainder of the day around Balboa Park.

“Squirrel Cheeks” Lary showed up hurting. I thought he was either dead or sleeping in his car when I arrived in the morning. He planned on having a nice easy day keeping book and strong arming walks. Instead he was called into service and performed the following feats in this order: K’d, missed a looping line drive by jumping like a white man and burned the CF ass with a bomb that cleared the bases. Not bad for an old guy who probably had every painkiller known to man coursing through his system.

Brooksy knew the Diablos were in for a long day when the umps didn’t even respond to his “Hello” in the parking lot. Assholes. He spent his first two at-bats plotting where he was going to bloop one when he came up with runners on base. Rooftop asked for a “Brooks Special” and he delivered by driving in the first run of the game with a double/triple/snowball fight texas leaguer.

“Brothers Love Child” Rodriguez made his papa proud by going the other way with runners on. He also decided to make the LF look good by hitting one just far enough for him to catch it. Muscle up Ho! His defense was solid except for when Rooftop yelled at him to catch a foul ball and he didn’t. The fact that the ball was only 13 ½ feet away from home plate is irrelevant.

“I only do that on vacation” Miller came back from his trip and immediately made an impact on the line-up. That impact was pushing Brooksy to the 3 hole and stealing his helmet every goddamn time he came up. He also sold a HBP by gazing in the umpires 4-eyes and saying with his mind “That grazed my jersey kind sir”. He scored the 1st and eventual winning run after that Jedi mind shit. His defense was tested not by any plays(not a single ball went his way), but by the man child who was using his beer can like a prisoner in a cell down the LF line.

“Coltrane” Reed made his triumphant return to the line-up after a little “vacation” provided by the NABA. I’d like to tell you he went 4 for 4 and had 8 rbi’s. That didn’t happen. His timing is a little better than it was last week and his presence at the top of the line-up had a strong effect on the rest of the squad. His CF lockdown defense was present as always. Do teams avoid hitting it to center much like teams don’t throw towards Revis island when he is playing? Survey says Yes.

“Where’s my taco?” Imbody was given the player of the week award by this website. It entitles him to a nasty case of the runs and a hangover provided by the postgame BBQ. Upon hearing the Yeti would not be in the line-up he decided to try and drive in as many Diablos as possible. The bullets he peppered throughout the yard were only matched by the Howitzer blast he unleashed from RF to nail the unsuspecting runner. His only misstep was the GI Joe tank top.

Today's picture is titled "Wears Alfredo's shit better than he does". This is Olive who is cute as a button and probably scarred for life after attending a Diablo post game.

Diablos get back to it

Sunday marked the first practice game of the 2012 season for your SF Diablos. The score of the game was not important(17-2 victory!)since Brother told us to "work on stuff" during his pre-game speech. Pacheco started on the mound and worked through some early arm stiffness. Typical Yeti. He also ripped the shit out of a couple balls so he looks ready to go. Nico climbed the hill for a three inning stint that could only be described as solid. The internment of his mentor seems to have not effected his game. Ivan made a triumphant return after spending 2011 on the shelf. His leaning into a 37mph fastball was the stuff of champions. His awkward bat toss and retrieval were not. Joe decided to rip a titty before he left early. Of course he used the handle to display his hitting prowess so the out was expected. Imbo came in determined to pick up where he left off last year. The swing looked good, but that pop up dropping to the infield left something to be desired. His FB status update should read "The infield is difficult and I shall never speak ill of it again." Alfredo showed up all Zen and shit. He then proceeded to hose a runner. No seriously. The guy had two legs and was of normal weight and mental capacity. The league has already begun the investigation into his off season arm procedure done in Europe. Kemo decided to stay this week instead of flipping a U-turn and getting back on the freeway. Thankfully he delighted us with a solid inning on the mound. The half swing with RISP was also entertaining. Lou was Lou. Whether it's stroking his own on base percentage or walking his first batter of the season he never fails to put on a show. The post-game vow of silence was broken within 3 minutes. Newcomer Bird was welcomed to the squad. His work behind the plate was impressive. His start-stop-start-stop swing for strike three....not so much. All in all a solid effort to open the 2012 season. I have been informed that we will not be heading to Napa this coming weekend. Details will be sent out this weekend.

Opening Day victory ends with a race for the ages

Welcome back Diablo faithful. The 2012 season has begun and your minions of the underworld are 1-0 after a 6-3 victory over Yucatan. Being kicked out of their last league by a group of whining bitches disguised as baseball players the Diablos entered this season ready for a fresh start. Returning to the friendly confines of Crocker Park offered the Diablos a chance at getting back to the basics of playing ball, battling old foes and having adult beverages without looking out for Narcs. Despite the 9am start time most Diablos found their way to the park on time. I'm looking at you Yeti! With the smells of grass, dirt and urine wafting through the dugout it was apparent the boys in red had found their way home. Toeing the slab was none other than Rooftop Gardella. His Spring Training boasts of striking out every person on Earth in his first three starts had built an anticipation that couldn't be matched. Of course his first inning went just the way you would expect. A shitload of walks and a 3-1 deficit that led to everyone including birthday boy Imbody telling him to "Forget about the damn bet!". This was obviously what the young lad needed since his final line read 9 innings, 5 walks, 1 laser beam hit and 17 strike outs. Sunday also marked the debut of several new Diablos. Bird Nielsen showed solid ball blocking skills in saving Rooftops ass on several occasions. He also chipped in a couple of hits, but is now guaranteed to get shit every time he gets on base after forgetting how many outs there were. Jeff "I haven't done anything stupid to earn a nickname YET" Ramirez manned shortstop and showed a slick glove. Luis "Banksy" Bermudez got his first official at-bat and roamed LF. Imbo showed up to let us know he would be celebrating his birthday later at the Doghouse. He also chipped in 3 RBI's and caught his only chance in RF. Olive Garden Hidalgo made his triumphant return to the Diablos after spending last season on the DL. In typical fashion he was beaned in his first AB and then went all Wild Horses and ran free when he should have froze on a line drive. Kemo drove in a run with situational hitting. He also spent the day writing in every K that Lou got. How screwed up is that? Pacheco worked hard behind the plate and also worked a walk...OH WAIT sorry that was the other teams Pacheco. Ours couldn't be risen from his hibernation. That'll cost ya big guy!

Today's picture is titled "Fat man race". After a few hours of shit talking and beer drinking the gathered Diablos decided on a race between Fed and Lou. Winner being deemed the slowest Diablo/person on Earth. The racers agreed that downhill would be easier and we secretly calculated the odds of a spectacular wipeout. This race had been held a few years back, but Fed had whined that the results were tainted due to him wearing Brooks Vans. We headed outside to clear traffic and put this baby to bed once and for all. I grabbed the toilet paper roll that would serve as the finish line and FANA Joe found an uncomfortable spot to film from. Cowboy Rodriguez served as our starting line judge. This was the photo finish results....TIE! A second race was run with Rooftop winning, but Fed was already having a heart attack so the results will always have an *asterisk* next to them. This was one of the most epic moments in Diablo history.

*Photo finish montage courtesy of "Take Out" Yuen-Shore

Pitching and Defense reign supreme in Diablo victory

Last Sunday your Diablos faced off against an old foe Mexico. It turned out to be a solid pitching match up. Rooftop Gardella always thinking about "The Bet" decided to use his defense in pitching a complete game shutout. Defensive gems were turned in by SS Jeff Ramirez, 2B Ryan Brooks and LF Alfredo "Cannon" Sainz. Not much to talk about regarding the offense in this one. With a total of four hits the Diablos weren't exactly raking the ball. The first run was driven in by Jeff after hitting the ball off the starting pitcher (actually it hit his glove, thanks Joe). The insurance run was scored on a sac fly by none other than Mad Hatter Bermudez. His signature moment in a Diablo uniform. Cowboy Rpdriguez finally awoke from his stupor and chipped in some stolen bases en route to scoring in the 7th inning.

This weeks photo is titled "Door Stop". Imbo is performing an impersonation of how we found Fed in the bathroom after a few adult beverages. Forrest Narveaz also added some recycled pizza to Brooksies backyard. Animale!

Diablos win the ugliest 13-3 game ever

This past weekend the Diablos offense finally came together(somewhat) in a 13-3 victory over Venados. I say somewhat because the unofficial count is 1,643 runners were left on base. Getting the start was Yeti Pacheco who graced us with his presence. His 5 innings of shutout ball was the first gem turned in this season by the Diablo staff (Right Rooftop?). Mad hatter Bermudez made his Diablo mound debut in relief pitching 2 solid innings and getting zero help from his defense. No joke. You couldn't throw a rock without hitting an offensive hero for the Diablos on Sunday. It all started with Marcus "Battleship" Reed lobbing balls anywhere the LF couldn't catch it. Including his glove! E9.....HIT! Imbo decided to rob an elderly person at an estate sale of their 1942 war club fashioned from a rare endangered species of Redwood tree. Seriously the handle on this thing is the size of a rhinoceros penis. Believe me I know. Obviously this theft was a wise move since it banged out 4 hits for him. Unfortunately the bat couldn't help him run the bases. At least that's what PR thinks. Jeff "Video room" Ramirez did some in game work on his swing and banged out a pair of doubles. Cowboy Rodriguez continued his march for the stolen base title with a pair of swipes. He also proved the theory that residents of Liberty Court can't tag up for shit. Nico made his debut at 1B for the Diablos this Sunday and immediately showed he is middle infielder. BUT when the moment presented itself to end the game early and send us to the parking lot he was more than ready. With the bases loaded and two outs he unleashed a game winning cue shot that absolutely ate the first baseman up. Dude tried to lay down in front of it and it still found a hole. Not sure if it counts as a "walk off", but it was definitely Diablo style.

Today's picture is titled "Don't mind if I do". Imbo was re-enacting his standard operating procedure for hiding items at an estate sale. Plus this looks like the natural home for the war club.

Diablos win streak at four

Several firsts happened this past week for the Diablos en route to a 5-2 victory over San Luis. We had our first warning from an umpire about not killing our own players. PR got his first stand up triple since the Clinton administration. There was an RBI Sac Fly to the second baseman, possibly a first in recorded history. We also had our first bat branding of the season. All in all an eventful week in the Diablo universe.

With Brother being out of town on a scouting trip (no doubt scouring the Far East for young talent) the managerial duties were left to Brooksy. Boy did he push all the right buttons. Not only did he nod yes when a crippled Rooftop said he wanted the ball, but he also had the foresight of batting PR Sainz in the 6 hole where he could do the most damage HA. PR did not disappoint by rapping extra base hit after extra base hit past the CF who obviously read his scouting report backwards. Joining him on the hit parade were Yeti Pacheco who had his first multi-hit game of the season(Yeti also passed his parents for games attended...insert golf clap) and PT Ramirez who will go down in history as the first Diablo with RBI SF-4 in the books. No I am not shitting you. Imbo branded his bat with a lightning bolt and then didn't get a hit with it. He was also unsuccessful in hitting any of his teammates near the on deck circle with it in the later innings. Mad hatter Bermudez continued to prove the nay sayers wrong with a pinch hit RBI single in the 9th inning. Whether it's running to the store mid game for a quick snack or showing the youngsters how to use athletic tape this guy always makes it interesting. Rooftop Gardella tossed his third complete game of the year. While tossing 12 strikeouts he crossed the 30k threshold and won his bet with Kemo. Asked for a quote after the game Kemo said "He did it, but it's Nieves fault for pumping him up last week." This victory puts your Diablos at 4-0 for the season.

Today's picture is titled "I'm not drinking."

Diablos slapdick Marlins

Diablos defeat the Marlins 16-1...

Hero dies during Diablos victory

I?m baaaaaaaaack. After a few weeks off your faithful scribe has returned from the rocky depths of hell(or was it just LA?). In my absence the Diablos have run their record to 7-0. A no-hitter(Couldn?t toss a perfecto) by Rooftop against the Nicoyas a few weeks back put the league on notice. What that notice said is a mystery to me since it was written in Spanish. This past week your minions of Satan faced off with the Black Sox. With boatloads of confidence and the usual cornucopia of pharmaceuticals a 14-2 victory was secured. Here are some of the days highlights:

- Mad Hatter Bermudez had a career day going 4 for 4. He also ripped the first homerun of the year for the Diablos. Not to be a one dimensional player he added a scoreless inning on the mound. Not sure if it was his pre-game routine or personal cheering section. Either way keep it up young man.

- Imbo murdered the war club. Not sure if the current district attorney opposes the death penalty, but there were plenty of witnesses to uphold a conviction. Also casting a shadow over the event was his use of a different bat his first time up which proves there was tension in the
relationship. The silver lining is the 2-RBI?s produced from her last gasp.

- Itunes Ivan provided a spark from the top of the order. Brother wasn?t sure who could fill Marcus shoes, but the I-man was up to the challenge. The only blemish on his day was letting that catchable ?laser beam? that Rooftop gave up get to the wall for a double. No seriously Imbo told me it was a can of corn HA

- Joltin Joe Chaika spent another week playing with only one hand which made his 7 hop base knock past the 3B all the more impressive. He also added some excitement while getting hosed trying to stretch a double. Unfortunately we don?t have any leg ailment to blame that one on.

- PT Ramirez had another solid day at the plate driving in a couple runs. He missed a grand salami by a few feet, but we?ll attribute that to his having to work at 5pm. Pussy. He also finished the game with a solid inning of relief.

- Cowboy Rodriguez didn?t field shit at third, but he did perform the highest form of flattery by getting hosed at 2B the exact same way as Joe. Sign your kids up for summer classes www.LibertyCourtBaserunning.com

- Kemo got his vintage ass around the bases for a couple of runs and found his way on the field for defense. Of course he had everyone on pins and needles playing 1B, but in the end we shouldn?t have worried. After all Jackie Robinson played there during his career. He also completed his duties as bag bitch according to ?The Bet?.

- Rooftop won another game. Although it wasn?t a CG so obviously the at-bats are starting to take their toll. I would mention his double he hit, but his loafing to 2B was rather cuntish.

- All in all it was a solid day for the offense with every starter joining the hit parade.

Diablos reach 10-0

Yeti smash runs Diablos record to 11-0

Alternate translations for this photo:

Yeti only drink malt liquor from hulk fist

Yeti enjoy bean bag chair

Amy loves cock shots

Diablos shit show improves to 12-0

Today's photo is of Fredo and Jager fresh off their work doing base running drills at the Liberty Court camp. Now being offered by the fine folks of Liberty Court is an introductory class on Equipment Management 101.

Win streak runs to 13

Judging by the Diablos record this must be what Lou looks like from the mound this year.

Walk off E6 propels Diablos to 11-10 victory over Mexico

Kemo dusts off the wing and goes the distance for Diablos 16th victory

Diablos family increases by one

Was this picture foreshadowing events to come?

 

Imbo doppelganger sighted at the Bulls game

Couldn't have been Imbo. This guy sprang for expensive seats near the glass.

2013 Diablos Spring Training

Welcome back! It's been a long offseason full of hangovers and Super Dome power outtages. The Diablos spent this past Sunday firming up their rather ample beer guts. A solid BP round followed what could only be described as an abortion of an infield. Brother was in fine mid-season form while rapid firing grounders at unsuspecting infielders. A lengthy meeting was held after practice (pictured above) where many offseason transactions were discussed. Coach has ordered immediate sensitivity training for any Diablo who doesn't APPRECIATE the efforts of his fellow teammates. This was met with a solid crotch grab and "That shits for the NABA". Key additions this season include a sick ass baby seat in the back of Fredo's jalopy, actual left overs at the post game spread and a Yellow Emperor twitter account. Key subtractions include any and all spray painted accessories and whiny turncoats. Today's picture is titled "All growns up" and features our fearless PR leader wearing protection after a flying bat incident. Don't laugh. He's got dependents to think about.

Also a Diablo shout out to Ms. Yeti who has been under the weather as of late. Get well soon girl! Without you in the stands are attendance is inthe low single digits.

Opening Day victory recap in photos

Holy shit that form should be taught to every child in America

Look at Imbo trying to be the Panda

I'm sure Lou tried to pimp this foul ball too

I looked at this pic and all I could come up with was What...The...Fuck

"I hope that thing is loaded." - Fredo

How hard is Jeff staring at my dick.....and why does he have hearts in his eyes?

Joe, a fake ring and Zitos crotch = Diablos victory

Diablos storm out of the gates 2-0

This past Sunday your Diablos got back to it under the bright blue skies at Balboa Park. The opponent was San Luis which meant the 13-2 mercy killing was inevitable. The tone of the game was set when Marcus was landed on by a first baseman with all the gracefulness of an ACME piano. That lead to every infielder for SL running there mouth and a 5 run 1st inning that effectively put the game on ice. Thanks for the motivation. Cheddar Gardella started the game, but only gave an abbreviated effort since he had other places to be later in the day. Liberty Court ended up bringing the offense with them on this day. Robbie Trejo chipped in a 4 for 4 day along with another web gem at 3B. Taking over the clean up spot was Imbo since Yeti (pictured above) was a little preoccupied. PT Ramirez dropped in a couple of doubles (luckily he didn't use the Matty Williams autographed bat this week) and finished the game on the mound without injuring any batters. Papi Sainz continued his streak of getting grass stains on his uniform. Brooksie continued his streak of stopping pitches with his body. Congratulations to newbies "Backstop" Jimenes and "Ultimate Warrior" Ayala who got their first hits as Diablos. We are actively seeking volunteers to roam 280 in search of any foul balls Marcus deposited there on Sunday. One was seen nestled on the on-ramp, but Joe wasn't willing to tuck and roll for it. 

Diablos make it interesting in 12-6 victory

This past Sunday your Diablos sputtered to a 12-6 victory over Venados. With several players missing for various reasons the Diablos only had 8 players ready to step between the lines hours before first pitch. Then riding in from centerfield on a large white horse disguised as an electric wheelchair came Gabe “PPFM” Sanchez throwing aside retirement for one more day of baseball with the fellas. Rumors have it Diablo management caved in to his demand of having every aluminum can in the world crushed and delivered to his house. Climbing the bump for the bad guys this week was Yeti. With his new glove that he fashioned himself from a baby calf near his cave he tossed 5 solid innings only allowing 2 runs. After an offseason of studying local cave scratchings and watching Congo we knew that Yeti(tap chest) was finished(throat slash). Unfortunately his efforts would not lead to a victory since the bullpen promptly gave up the lead in the 6th inning. Luckily Imbo decided to stop fucking around and just throw it over the plate. He said it. He did it. He got the victory with 3.1 innings of relief. The offense took a while to warm up this weekend. Leading the charge once again was Imbo smacking doubles and triples all over the place and running his RBI total up to 962. Possible typo. Getting his first start of the season Danny Harper did not disappoint. With a solid opposite field approach he collected 4 hits and reached base all 5 times he stepped to the plate. The one blemish on his day was the fact that he wears a hat with the sticker still on the bill. C’mon kid! If you want to prove you bought it just show us the receipt. Speaking of kids Junior got his first taste of Diablo ball and didn’t disappoint making a fine defensive snag in the 9th inning. Now all we gotta do is draw some facial hair on him and nobody will know he’s 9 years old. Papi Sainz put on a clinic only Jack Nicklaus or Tiger could appreciate. He dropped in 3 of the ugliest lob wedge pop ups you’ll ever see. This was only mentioned because in the book it looks like he hit 3 line drives. Bird was back this week and hit a triple no less. Lovely Melissa was keeping book(Official grade B-, see me after class). Robbie Trejo made it back from his fishing trip at Brokeback Lake and kept up his hitting stroke. He also added his usual Liberty Court shenanigans on the base paths. Gabe did not disappoint in his triumphant return to the diamond. He hit a double, almost broke his hip while powering down on the base paths, fielded a grounder at second, botched a grounder at second, sported an amazing father Christmas beard, hit into a spectacular double play and drank shit beer after the game. This was all accomplished before the early bird special at Sizzler expired so that’s a bonus. Overall it was a solid victory for your local sinners. Also spotted in the stands was a local scout named Skippy(pictured below). He mainly looks for athletes. Oh hey does anyone know how the Black Sox did? UPDATE Nobody gives a fuck.

Diablos grind out 9-3 victory

Ugly. That is the only term that could describe the Diablo offense on Sunday. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know we won the game 9-3, but how would you describe leaving 16 runners on base(BARF)? Taking the bump for his first Diablo start was Danny Harper. An elaborate deal had been struck to have the umpire instruct him to remove the sticker from his hat before first pitch, but the more effective strategy of having Jeff say “Take that shit off your hat” worked just as well. Danny fixed the wardrobe malfunction and went forth tossing a complete game victory. He also continued his torrid hitting and Liberty Court base running clinic. All this earned him his first Diablo golden shower(pictured above). This weeks winner of “First one to the field” was Yeti. I was able to witness his warm up routine of running down gophers and scratching his back on a tree. This all lead to him flashing some serious leather at 1B. The other side effect was he swung at every first pitch thrown. I am almost positive he swung at one during my at-bat. Rumors of an early morning psych out text are completely false. Robbie Trejo made it on time this week and chipped in 3 RBI’s. He has now officially entered himself as the dark horse in the Diablo RBI challenge. He also let a ball get by him this week. When you are the coach’s son little facts like he was fully extended in a backhand dive don’t matter. Imbo dropped in a few more hits to bring his average up to a cool .684. Not a typo.  He also air mailed the hell out of a throw home. Sometimes the steroids kick in at the wrong time. Papi Sainz continued performing his best impression of Brooksie by dropping in another bleeder. Watch yourself Bro. That shit is trademarked. He also had to cut out early for work so he rushed everyone to get one more at-bat. Nobody was surprised when he wore the first pitch HAHAHAHA. PT Ramirez decided to fill the void left by Kemo’s retirement and swing at a 3-0 pitch. The resulting pop out earned him the “3-0 Ho of the Day” award. He was also called the 3-zero Ho by the Diablo faithful so either way is acceptable for the remainder of the week. Overall it was a grind it out victory and we’ll take it.

Nieves shows he's "Still Got it, Brother!"

Nieves found a helmet that fit and showed the Diablos how to do it in their Mothers Day victory. 

The last few weeks summed up in one picture

Diablos try to avoid their first losing streak in years. Crap.

Diablos enter Twilight Zone and leave with a 3 game losing streak

Black gatos crossing your path, using broken mirrors for lil bumps, walking under ladders, opening an umbrella indoors and dancing an irish jig on the foul line with spikes full of tails up pennies. All of these things MUST HAVE been done by the Diablos in the past month. Nothing else can explain the strange happenings that have befallen this snake bitten squad. Yesterdays 9-8 loss to USA's little biaatch Puerto Rico was as excruciating as a swift kick to the nuts. There are no words to describe the end of this game. This writer has been watching baseball for almost 3 decades and has never seen or been a part of an ending quite like it. Everything leading up to the 9th inning was standard for the past three games. Batters having zero approach at the plate, baserunning that would make a tee-baller puke and ridiculous mound antics from starting pitchers. With all this the Diablos were still in the game! Tied 3-3 in the top of the 9th your Diablos scored 5 runs capped by a HUGE 2-out 2-rbi double by Joltin' Joe Chaika(When found for comment after the game his only response was "The fuck just happened"...it was a sentiment shared by many). Looking up the entire history of baseball the odds of winning the game with a 5 run lead in the 9th inning are 99.999999999%. Well guess what side of that equation the Diablos ended up on yesterday? If you guessed win obviously you haven't been watching recently. Leading 8-3 going into the bottom of the 9th a mushroom cloud rose above Crocker 1 and when it had cleared the first 6 batters sent to the plate scored for Puerto Rico. Not a single out was recorded. A few errors were made. 1 grand slam was hit. That was longest any Diablo team has ever taken to clear out of a dugout. Heading into the All-Star break the Diablos sit at 6-3. Sacrifice has been suggested. Blah.

Offensive explosion ends 4 game slide


SF Diablos

powered by LeagueLineup