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| Joey K
August 5, 2011
7:50:52 PM
Entry #: 3776400
| The Friday before week 1 and we have no MB activity outside of a post from Nate's personal assistant and one of the worst pre season ranking and prediction attempts football has ever seen by my basketball player turned CFL #1 overall pick teammate.
I guess after you consider the perennial MB participants, this shouldn't come as much of a surprise....Tony retired 4 years ago, Mike Zeer retired and is probably still writing in his diary about how good he played at QB last season (teet- farting noise), Dylan and Nolan are still hugging after taking cheap shots at each other, and Chuck is still busy talking about how Green would have won it all if they traded for him instead of Mike to play QB. Sooo, now that I've got the preliminary swipes out of the way, let's get to those pre season rankings:
1) White: Defending champs have to be #1 pre season, it's a rule in my book. Facts are facts and in the words of Ray Lewis, "We're talking about the Jets (red), like we're talkin about the Saints (White- Defending Champs"). ****By the way this is #1 on my newly made CFL Sunday morning pre-game CD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0ysMOV8TYU. Really what can you say bad about these guys...they have the ultimate QB, our very own Joe Monta, I mean Jonna, the boy wins. They have the showstopper and the greatly underrated Hawk.
Ok, now that I've got the nonsense compliments out of the way, let's have some fun. I said it Joey last season and I'll say it again this season....his DB's and WR's are simply not good enough. Joey had a subpar season last year by his standards and critical bounces went their way game after game. The same WR and DB's I criticized then and am criticizing now came up huge last year in big moments, Timmy and Lance on D especially and Mike Sesi with posterization after posterization. White's success will ultimately come down to those guy's performance, especially in games where Jonna struggles. A full season of the the newly enacted cursing rules will certainly cost White this season when a certain protected (or two, egh hem Timmy) suffer the ref's wrath. They also have added a notoriously cancerous presence, some guys are sensitive so I'll let you all interpret that as you wish and Danny Shaba could always drop another TD (sorry danny, I'll get that knife out of your back whenever you want).
White 2-1
2) Yellow: Two primary reasons yellow gets #3: Fadi Gulli and Ray Dawood. Despite being part of the Troy Colts graduating class of 1983, Ray is still running by people and has maintained his brick house stature. Fadi too has maintained a house stature, but in a different kind of way.... Like Jonna, Nate had a subpar season, but there wasnt RayRay, Stephan, Justin, Acho and Acho, Max, DP and the rest of the Dream Team around to carry him to a title despite popular belief of the opposite theory. But hey, Kudos to him for drafting well.
Nick remains a fag as much as Bob remains a pussy, Matt Shango is crazy so I don't want to talk about him and end up like Tony in an MMA move in the middle of a play, Pete was a quality pick up (I'm being serious), and unless Scott Acho learns that full extended arms and a handful of jersey is holding, expect the yellow flags for Defensive holding to fly. Tyson has looked like a beast so I can't really say much about him. As many have said before me and will say after me, Nate at the helm of any team gives them a fighting chance, so they are a legitimate threat.
Yellow odds for chai cup: 3.5-1
3. Black: 47 pounds later and 3 inches of Pony Tail longer, Jared Lorenzen, I mean Tarik looked like none of it mattered in the first scrimmage. Was that a product of their opponent or the continuity he has with JP, Dylan and Derek Raban? I'm guessing more the ladder than the former. Their rookie Shango looked really impressive and Chuck is the WR gift that keeps on giving (or receiving, but you get the point).
Now....about those extra LB's, and we're not talking about Linebackers, the reality is Tarik's teams have traditionally failed when it mattered most. And when that happens Chris D's golf season will conflict with his CFL season and Steve Sagmani will start making breakfast reservations with the Doah basketball league refs who don't allow him to be touched. Shot out to my cousin Vinny who will be a pleasant surprise, but by week 4 Chuck will be asking for a trade or be seen on the sideline saying "Shuck, I'll do what he wants me to do, but I should be playing QB, right or wrong shuck? Brashid Baba I'd be playing better than he is, look how big he is, did you think he'd stay fast and slim forever, we can move him to blocker." Dylan, congrats on another great individual season with no title, make sure you hold hands with Nolan while you watch the title game together from the sidelines.
Black's Odds 5.5-1
4. The Miami Heat, I mean the Philadelphia Eagles, I mean RED: The fact of the matter is red is stacked with talent on paper, but with only three retuning players familiarity and consistency will take time. With Bart Starr playing quarterback, any group of wide receivers can look like superstars, with the talent Red has at WR and Jajou playing center in the mix, this offense simply has no reason not to lead the league in scoring once/if it all comes together. Russ brings a stability that will be welcomed with open arms after the Mike Akrawi-Mike Toma-Anthony Toma-Kroger's Bag Boy-Red Coat's Bus Boy QB experiment from a year ago. Anthony Acho and Stefan replace Kresto and a one-legged Nolan from a year ago while I get to become Derrick Mason (for those of you who are slow to understand, a possession receiver), let's just hope I can catch this season. DP and Bob the Pussy should be able to provide adequate protection, it's just a matter of whether Russ' arm falls off, literally, and the receivers live up to the hype.
Unfortunately, just as much uncertainty and lack of consistency exists for REd on the defensive side of the ball. With stalwart AT manning the middle there will be a certain degree of calmness, ok so that's the wrong word when it comes to AT, experience, I think that fits better. What this side of the ball will have is hunger, as Scotty George has come back after a year of being a model for GQ, Men's Health, Lifetime, and Playgirl to attempt to have his name engraved on the cup for the first time. DP has a certain league critic who's name I won't mention (play's qb in our league, my son and him share a name, me and him share a first name) fueling his fire in addition to the fact his little brother is unanimously regarded as being better than him. Ultimately, if this team comes together they can be #1 on this list, if they don't, they'll be Lebron James but even worse.
Odds:6-1
5. Green: They have lost the leadership and knowledge Mike Zeer (Throw up just entered my mouth as I typed that) provided during the ladder half of last season. While I am confident my fellow east sider and Troy Colt alum Justin is ready to be a huge QB threat in the league, I just don't think Tony's draft strategy of drafting 4 straight tweeners after Max was very inconsiderate to the development of his QB. Making matters even worse is Tony sucks as a WR but is unfortunately the default #1 on this team. Max will be a beast as usual, but with the size, or lack thereof, on the line, they're going to struggle mightily both blocking and rushing.
Defensively, Justin will neeed to reproduce his 10 pick-six season from a year ago and the return of AY will significantly help them in the middle of the field. Again, the a recurring theme will surface....Tony sucks and he's the default safety. While I respect Peter, Pat and Aws efforts, at the end of the day they're a small group and getting by the likes of Dylan, DP, Ty, Fadi, Sinan, etc. will prove to be too big of a hurdle to overcome. Wait, nevermind I totally overlooked Mr. Near Irrelevant (that's what the last pick in the NFL draft is annually titled), ERNIE, maybe there is hope (there goes that "teet" noise again). Tony, one more time, you suck.
Odds: 9-1
6. Blue: Easily the fastest team in the league and possibly the most athletic, but the combination of a rookie headcoach serving as a rooking QB with a rookie WR and another WR who is athletically gifted but raw as a WR is a reciever (Pat Kinaya- I've never seen him but that's the scouting report I've been given) is a recipe for disaster. There is going to be a huge maturation curve for this team and I don't see them having enough veterans, to some degree the right veterans, to stabilize this unit.
Defensively, again speed is there and so it athleticism, but it all will be for nought without the right decision makers putting people in the proper places to make plays.
Odds: 15-1
Please be advised that the content of this message does not represent any of the thoughts or opinions of One Source Talent or Team Red, but only those of Joey P. Kejbou. For those of you who don't know me, if you can't handle comedy and a little entertainment, this site will not be for you and the messages I post are something you should avoid reading, for those of you who suck but still want to talk trash (Tony), it's ok, you can still have fun on the MB and participate and for those of you who need permission from their master to speak (Nick ask Nate if you can type) please get the requisite green light so we can have a little back and forth.
Everybody, welcome back for what's expected to be a great 2011 CFL season loaded with talent and unlimited possibilities. See you boys Sunday, have fun, be safe and enjoy the season for they come and go faster than you can imagine.
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