Welcome to the newest addition to the Avalanche franchise website--Below are actual quotes from various Avalanche/Norteaks' players through the years....enjoy!


OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE: Previous to the Avalanche vs. Sinners Feb. 17, 2010 contest, defenseman Paul Perry gave the following emotional speech. Teary-eyed and sullen he faced the media and multitudes of die-hard Avalanche faithful:

"It is with saddened heart and softened cock, I speak before you. First, I would like to thank the Avalanche organization for the opportunity I was given. However, due to budgetary restraints, I must return to my countrymen in Suckcockistan for the training of the 2014 gaymez. I will still be "murderballing" on Monday nights with the Untouchables. Thank you for your athletic support and understanding!"




"Hey, we didn't give-up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor...did we?!!!" (Jack Mesko after allowing a flury of consecutive goals vs. the CT Predators)


"Holy shit! Check-out Ty's tuck-back, Jack, hurry up, get a picture!" ("The Rocket" upon Tyler's "tuck-back" exhibition during the 2010 Constitution Cup Tournament)


"Hey guys, I'm starting to cramp-up, my joints ache, my nads are shrinking, and I think I'm having a stroke! I must be dehydrated!" (Ben P.) "R-r-r-right--DEHYDRATED?!!" (Avs' other players)

"We had a game last night?????" (Price)

"That's it, I'm done!" (Jared after 30 consecutive games of bad ZRink officiating)

"I sent the beeyatch-a-packin' and the door DID hit her Azz on the way out! " (The Rocket when he kicked Jo-Lo out of his Manhattan penthouse after a long weekend with her and after he found out she married Marc Anthony)

"But..um..uh..m-my girlfriend made me watch Brokeback Mountain!" (Mark M)

"We can all share a shower, as a team, right?".....(LeClair)

"Dibs on picking up the soap!"....(LeClair--again--moments after 1st quote).

"I thank the good Lord he made me an Avalanche!".....(Spike)

"No! I wasn't brinking deers gefore the bame!".....(McGinnis)

"Gordie who?".....(The Rocket upon scoring his 800th goal)

"We're in for one wild night." (King Rocket-Leonidas, during top tournaments)

"The world will know that free Avalanche men stood against a tyrant, that few Avs stood against many, and that before this battle is over, even a god-king can bleed." (King Rocket-Leonidas; another tournament quote)

"A new age has come, an age of Avalanche freedom. And all will know that 9 Avalanche players gave their last breath to defend it." (King Rocket-Leonidas)

"What time is it?!!" (Jack Mesko upon Championship Victory)

"I score lots of goals, but being sexy is what I do best!" (Tyler Bouchard)

"Tyler IS sexy!" (LeClair)

"I like poop!" (LeClair)

"Dude, smell my jersey." (Matarainen)

"Yo, check out Joes's NEW chick!" (everyone)

"Chicks dig me, it's cuz I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something very unusual." (The Rocket)