In (8):  Mike, Rob, Chelsea, Caleb, Erienne, Jeff, Cheyenne, Ron.

Maybe (2):  Nate (probable), Jae (doubtful).

Out:  Nancy, Eric, Jocelyn, Jonathan.

[Editor's note:  As you may have heard, the New York Knickerbockers won the NBA championship this week, breaking a 53-year title drought!  In tribute, their roster is highlighted in the text below.]

Another week, another game versus The Line Drivers.  Ho-hum.     

Well, not really.  True, the Empty Pitchers went to  Mohamed Diawara  with the team from the Connecticut Department of Transportation for the third time in five weeks on Thursday, but there were some differences.  For one thing, our first two meetings took place at Colt Park in Hartford, while this game was held at the EP's actual  Tyler Kolek  home field of Cove Park/DMV in Wethersfield.  They're completely different  Karl-Anthony Towns !  For another, although the EPs were short on players of the female persuation, having only two, the Line Drivers were even shorter, with just one female player.  As a penalty, they agreed to bat her twice in the lineup.  No further sanctions were imposed, but unfortunately for them, TLD only had nine players in total, so they were limited to three outfielders anyway.  And finally, due to a player shortage on the part of the EPs, young Jayden made his season debut as an Empty Pitcher, playing catcher and taking his first career at-bats in the process.  He had made an appearance defensively in rightfield in 2025, but the EPs were now looking for an offensive spark to the lineup from the rookie.

Under partly cloudy skies and a humid 88-degrees, Rob took to the mound to pitch for the second consecutive game, and the EP defense held firm, shutting down TLD in the top of the 1st inning.  The bottom of the frame began as it often does, with Eric driving a single to right.  But unlike our "usual" starts, when Nate laced a liner to right, the rightfielder charged, made a shoestring catch, then sprinted all the way in to the first base bag to double off Doc, who had taken off to second on contact.  It was the ultra-rare unassisted double-play by the rightfielder!  You don't see that every day!  Whelp, time to rally with two outs, I guess.  Perhaps as payback, Joe blasted a ball over the rightfielder's head, settling for a triple, before Rob singled him home to give the Empty Pitchers a  Dillon Jones  to nil lead!

The EPs hung another zero on TLD in the top of the 2nd, largely thanks to a dominating pitching performance by Rob, who struck out two in the inning.  In the home-half, Jonathan singled with one out, then came all the way around on a blast to right-center by Tino.  Jonathan scored, but the relay from the shortstop to the catcher was in time to nail Tino at the plate.  Such a  Landry Shamet !  Still, the EPs had added  OG Anunoby  mas to their total to go up 2-0, so no worries!

Slight hiccup in the top of the 3rd, as TLD managed to put two runners on, then were able to  Miles McBride  a 3-run homerun to clear the bases and go out in front, 3-2.  It could have been worse, but for another strikeout by Rob, and a heads-up play by short-centerfielder Chelsea.  On a high pop-up to shallow center, the ball fell in and the batter easily coasted into second; but for some reason, he got greedy and thought to round and  Jalen Brunson  to third.  Chelsea had recovered the ball by that point, and fired to third baseman Tino, who slapped the tag on the dead-duck runner for the out.  A defensive  Trey Jemison III !  The EPs, now trailing, stumbled in the bottom of the 3rd, managing only one baserunner when Jayden's come-backer to the mound was muffed by the pitcher for an error.  

What's worse, storm clouds had been gathering, and now a sudden squall sent everybody fleeing to their cars.  Luckily, the downpour lasted all of about four minutes, and the sun (and a rainbow!) came out even as the rain had been falling, so we were soon back to the action, with the  Mitchell Robinson  and  Jordan Clarkson  singing in the trees.  

Photo courtesy of Jocelyn Beaulieu 

Much like the Knicks in Games 4 & 5, the Empty Pitchers had a comeback in their pocket.  First, the defense kept TLD off the scoreboard in the top of the 4th, including a couple of sparkling plays.  One involved a foul pop-up behind third base, where Tino twisted and fell, but made the grab for the out.  The other was a screaming liner back to the mound, deftly handled by pitcher Rob.  Now for the offense!  Rob and Caleb singled back-to-back with one out to start the rally.  Jocelyn reached on a fielder's choice, as Rob was forced out at third, before Jonathan chipped a grounder to third; the third baseman fielded, then chose to lunge at Caleb, who was running from second to third.  He missed the tag, so the bases were loaded with two outs.  A pivotal moment in the game!  And Tino came through with a clutch single, scoring both Caleb and Jocelyn, allowing the EPs to leapfrog TLD and retake the lead at 4-3!  Now that's showing a lot of  Josh Hart  and a never-say- Pacome Dadiet  attitude!

Deja vu time, as the 5th inning played out similarly to the 4th -- the Line Drivers were kept as idle as a ship at anchor in  Ariel Hukporti , while the EPs added to their advantage.   Jayden jump-started the outburst with a single to center, followed by Mike's single over the thirdbase bag.  Eric singled to right, but the throw into the infield went wild, allowing Jayden to score on the error.  5-3!  One out later, Joe singled to right, and as the rightfielder just stood holding the ball, Mike was able to cross the plate to make it 6-3!  Eric took third on the play, and then scored on Rob's sacrifice fly to leftfield.  7-3!  Caleb also singled in the inning, although we failed to add any more runs.

In the top of the 6th, our opponents were finally able to gather some offense, plating a pair of runs to close the deficit to 7-5.  Should we be worried?  Would TLD be able to  Mikal Bridges  the gap and tie the game?  Naw.  The EPs responded big-time in the last of the 6th.  With one out, Tino and Chelsea notched consecutive singles, and with two down, Mike lined a ball to center that evaded the fielder and kept on rolling.  By the time the dust had settled, both baserunners had scored and Mike had a triple, putting the EPs up 9-5!  Eric promptly singled Mike home to bring the score to double-digits at 10-5!  Nate singled, and then Joe ripped a grounder to second that the fielder couldn't corral for an error, loading the bases with two outs for Rob.  And he didn't miss the moment, clearing the bags with a three-run triple that broke the game open at 13-5!  That's six big insurance runs in the 6th!  That's pretty  Jose Alvarado !

Last ups for the Line Drivers proved fruitless, as they were held scoreless for the fifth time in the game.   Jeremy Sochan , EPs win, 13-5! 

The victory improves our overall 2026 record to 4-3.  We are now 3-2 as the home team, and 1-1 as the visitors.

The offensive players of the game were Rob, who went 3-for-3 with a triple, sac fly and 4 rbi; and Tino, who went 3-for-3 with a triple, run scored and 3 rbi.  As pitcher, Rob picks up the win, improving to 2-1 on the season.  He pitched a complete game, striking out three.  It would be hard to  Kevin McCullar Jr.  a single best defensive play of the game, but overall, the EP gloves were pretty solid,  Mike Brown !

Notes & Numbers

• Shootin' the trey:  The Empty Pitchers had four extra-base hits in this game, and they were all triples (Joe, Rob, Tino, Mike)!  The last time the EPs had four or more three-baggers in a ballgame was back on August 1, 2024, when we beat the Regulators 29-11 at Colt Park.  In that game, we got triples from Eric, Jeff, Rob, Caleb and Mike (plus doubles by Nate and Rob).
• Droppin' a dime:  This game was the fifth time in seven games this season that the EPs have scored in double-digits (71% of the time).  We are now 3-2 when we score 10 or more runs, and 1-1 when we do not.  Last season, by comparison, we reached the 10+ runs plateau in 11 of our 22 games, or only 50% of the time.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Tino has now taken 625 career at-bats (3rd-most all-time).  Eric picked up his 425th career base hit in the 5th inning (most all-time).  Caleb's 4th-inning single was his 200th career hit (8th-most all-time).  Caleb scored for the 125th time in his career in the 4th inning (8th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Mike's 6th-inning triple was the 10th triple of the year by an EP.

Here it is again, your Moment of Zen:

👀◀️5️⃣    A Look Back 5 Years Ago:

2021-10:  No Diggity -- EPs fall just short in Caught Lookin' rematch, 18-16

June 24, 2021

[Editor's note:  As the years go by and the recaps pile up, I periodically run out of graphical space on the website, so I have to delete old photos to make room for new ones.  This recap from 5 years ago this week included the now-missing graphic, "I ❤️ the '90s", which is kind of important.  It alerted the reader that the highlighted words are all popular song titles from that decade.  I toyed with the idea of finding and inserting a new graphic, but I'd prefer not to add material to the original recap, so you get this note instead.  Also, including the title above, I managed to work in 69 song titles.  See if you can sing 'em all!]

One week ago, the Empty Pitchers were flying high, having stomped Scared Hitless (that was one sweet day!) to extend our winning streak to an unbelievable three games, and improve our season record to 4-3.  And although it would take more than Tuesday's rainout of our game against the Hartford Stars to break the good vibrations of this EP joyride, Thursday's rematch with Caught Lookin' at Cove Park was quite the heartbreaker.  This game was destined to be competitive, unlike the first night we played them, when we got thumped 27-10.

With Eric taking the mound for the first time (in his EP shirt -- no scrubs), Caught Lookin' pounced, scoring five quick runs to jump out to an early 5-0 lead.

But the EPs were undeterred.  Eric reached on an infield hit, was immediately replaced at first on Nate's fielder's choice grounder to second, and then Joe was able to mmmbop a pitch deep and out for a 2-run homerun (3rd season, 13th career) to get the EPs on the board at 5-2.  Alana got on when the third baseman threw her grounder past first for an error, and Jon ripped a single to put runners on the corners with one out.  Then Tino, who has really been swinging a hot bat lately, knocked Alana home with a base hit of his own, and it was 5-3.  Rob's single made it 5-4 as Jon crossed the plate, and Tino came in to tie it at 5-5 when Jae's grounder was misplayed by the shortstop for another Caught Lookin' error.  Step by step, the EPs had been able to creep back into the game, and I swear, we weren't done yet.  Caleb ripped a single to plate Rob, and Mike followed with a hit that allowed Jae to rush, rush home, and after one inning, the EPs led, 7-5.

If wishes came true, that score would have held up.  But with Alana now pitching in the 2nd inning, Caught Lookin' continued to cream the ball, again putting up a 5-spot to go back out in front at 10-7.  Freak me!

The Empty Pitchers did not stay down long, however, responding in the home-half of the 2nd when Nate stepped in with two outs and nobody on, and cold as ice ice baby, lined a single into center.  Now it was Joe's turn in the batter's box, and he drove the ball truly, madly, deeply over the outfielder's heads, for another 2-run homerun (4th season, 14th career) to cut the deficit to one run at 10-9.  Alana came through with a smooth single, and then here comes the hotstepper, as Jon pummeled a go-ahead 2-run homerun (3rd season, 24th career) to put the EPs on top again at 11-10 after just two innings!  As Wayne might say, "This is how we do it!"

This wild wild west shootout was halted temporarily, as Doc and the EP defense held Caught Lookin' scoreless in the top of the 3rd.

At this point, the game was still too close for comfort, so in the bottom of the frame, the EPs looked to tack on.  Caleb singled to lead off, and after Mike's fielder's choice grounder, Josh also picked up a base hit, putting runners at first and second with one out for Ron.  I wannabe honest with you, I like the way he's swinging the bat, 'cause he drove both runners home with a clutch double, giving the EPs a 13-10 advantage.

Have you ever just had one of those innings?  I don't have the heart to tell you that things got a little unpretty in the top of the 4th inning, as Caught Lookin' busted out for six big runs, retaking the lead at 16-13.  I don't wanna cry about it, but it was hard watching our lead go down in a blaze of glory.  Don't worry, though, my heart will go on.

To their credit, the EP bats tried to un-break my heart in the bottom of the 4th, with a two-out, no one on rally.  Alana stepped to the plate, and baby got back at Caught Lookin' with a line-drive double.  Jon let it flow with an rbi-double of his own to plate Alana, and it was 16-14.  Then Tino said, "Can't nobody hold me down!" as he hit the ball really deep to centerfield; but third base coach Mike was, in fact, able to get Tino to hold on down at third with a run-scoring triple, getting the EPs within a run at 16-15 after four innings.  (You are not alone if you think maybe he should have sent him with two outs and representing the tying run.  Doh!)  

Strangely, from this point on, the game became a whole new world, as the batting for both teams turned weak.  The game switched from an offensive escapade to a defensive bump n' grind, with Caught Lookin' able to add just one insurance run off of Eric in the top of the 5th, increasing their lead to 17-15.  And honey, the EP's hitting became lamer than a painting of Elvis on black velvet.  Scarier than a black cat doing the Macarena.  In the bottom of the 5th, all we got was a one-out single by Caleb and a two-out single by Josh.

Alana was able to hypnotize the Caught Lookin' batters in the top of the 6th, holding them scoreless and allowing the EPs to stay close, but the EP offense had no answer, and went down in 1-2-3 fashion.

I believe Caught Lookin' padded their lead with a single run off Doc in the top of the final inning, so going to the last of the 7th, the EPs were now trailing 18-15.  Joe smacked a single into right to lead things off in front of the heart of the EP order, but two outs later, he was still standing on second.  Tino continued livin' la vida loca as he singled to score Joe, but no bailamos.  It was the end of the road as Rob's bomb to left-center settled into the outfielder's glove, ending our fantasy of a potential walk-off comeback and handing the EPs a disappointing 18-16 loss.  Someday we will beat Caught Lookin', maybe when we get together again to give it one more try on August 26, or baby one more time on September 9.

The loss drops our 2021 record to 4-4, 2-2 at home.

The offensive hero of the game was Joe, who went 3-for-4 with 2 homeruns, 3 runs scored and 4 rbi.  Also of note were Jon (3-for-4 with a double, homerun, 3 runs scored and 3 rbi);  Tino (4-for-4 with a triple, run scored and 3 rbi);  and Caleb (3-for-3, rbi).  Defensively, right-centerfielder Josh was gettin' jiggy wit it, making a sprinting catch in deep center field;  and the infield turned a rarely seen 6-5-4 double play as Tino fielded a grounder to short, flipped to Mike at third, who then fired to Rob at second to complete the twin-killing.  Take a bow, everyone!

Notes & Numbers (a.k.a. more than words)

• I don't want to miss a thing:  Joe and Mike are the only EPs who have played in every game this season.
• All the man that I need:  Tino has now had a hit in each of his last 10 plate appearances, and in 16 of his last 17 at-bats.  That span goes back 5 games and includes 10 singles, 4 triples, 2 homeruns and a sacrifice fly (and one groundout to short).
• All 4 Love:  As a team, the EPs batted under .500 in each of our first four games (.344, .432, .290, .395), going 1-3 in the process.  Since then, we have had a team batting average over .500 for four straight games (.575, .633, .583, .522), going 3-1.  In this league, you hit, you win.
• Set adrift on memory bliss, otherwise known as Milestones (since 2015):  Nate just played in his 80th career game (8th place all-time);  Jon has played in 60 career games (9th place all-time);  Caleb has appeared in 40 career games (15th place all-time).  Rob's 2nd-inning single was his 175th career hit (4th place all-time).  Tino picked up his 20th career triple in the 4th inning (1st place all-time).  Tino's 1st-inning single drove in his 150th career rbi (2nd place all-time);  with his 3rd-inning double, Ron now has 75 career rbi (6th place all-time).

[Editor's note:  Last Monday, Jocelyn and Mike (and a number of DRS players) took part in the taping of an episode of the Fox television show, Hell's Kitchen, at Dunkin Park in Hartford.  To celebrate the broadcast television premiere of the Empty Pitchers, I hereby invite you to partake in the following 8-course softball meal, with actual critique by the show's host, Gordon Ramsay.]

On Thursday evening, seven full weeks into the 2026 season, it was finally time for the Empty Pitchers to return to their home field of Cove Park/DMV in Wethersfield.  This "true" Opening Day came after five straight games at Colt Park in Hartford, plus a rainout of a scheduled Bloomfield game.  And it was nice to be home.  The farmers' market.  The live band playing ragtime music.  The cool grass.  The flies buzzing around the spot where the port-o-potty stood during the recent Wethersfield High School graduation ceremony.  Ahem.  Anyway, the EPs entered tonight's contest riding a three-game winning streak and sporting a 3-2 record, so hopes were high for a spirited showing.  

Chef Ramsay:  "For what we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly not vomit."

 1. Hors d'oeuvres:  Small, hand-held bites served as guests arrive, often during cocktail hour, to stimulate the appetite. 

Taking on the surprisingly 0-5 inDRStructible team under hazy, hot and humid conditions, Rob took the mound to make his first start of the season.  DRS pounded out 3 runs in the top of the 1st inning to jump out in front.  In response, Eric opened the EP 1st with a single, moved to second on a productive groundout by Nate, then scored on a single by Joe.  As rallies go, that was simple and effective.  But we weren't done yet, as Rob singled, and with two outs, Caleb mashed a triple to plate both Joe and Rob, tying the score at 3-3 after one frame.  Could be better, could be worse.

Chef's take:  "My gran could do better!  And she's dead!"

 2. Soup:  A light, flavorful soup such as a velouté, bisque, or consommé to prepare the palate for subsequent courses. 

Neither team was able to grab a lead in the 2nd, as both lineups were retired without scoring, despite the EPs getting singles by Mike and Fausto.  They were just two of eleven runners left on base this week by the EPs.  This inning was heavily under-seasoned.

Chef's take:  "This is a really tough decision . . . 'cause your both crap!"

 3. Appetizer:  A more substantial starter, which may include seafood, charcuterie, or creative small plates. 

DRS managed to score the go-ahead run in the top of the 3rd to take a 4-3 advantage, but it was short-lived.  In the home-half of the inning, Chelsea singled over the second baseman's head, and then Eric and Nate followed with singles of their own, Nate's driving in Chelsea to re-tie the game at 4-4.  Joe's base hit loaded the bags with nobody out and Rob at the dish, and he promptly blasted a sacrifice fly to left, plenty deep enough to score Eric and allow Nate to tag and advance to third.  That's heads-up baserunning, for sure, but as it turns out, Nate didn't need to tag up at all, as Jeff then destroyed a pitch to rightfield for a three-run homerun (2nd season, 21st career), putting the EPs in front, 8-4!  With two outs in the inning, the EPs tried to create another rally when Erienne and Mike singled back-to-back, but no further runs crossed the plate.  (As an aside, we did not go out for pizza after the game.)

Chef's take:  "This isn't a pizza, this is a mistake.  This is an Italian tragedy."  "This pizza is so disgusting, if you take it to Italy, you'll get arrested."

 4. Salad:  Often served as a palate cleanser; in modern dining, it may precede or follow the main courses depending on the chef's style. 

Our opponents added a pair of runs in the top of the 4th, cutting our 4-run lead in half, and uh-oh!  The EPs could do no more than sandwich Jonathan's first hit of the season between three stale groundouts.  Barely a soupcon of offense.  We were holding an 8-6 lead heading to the 5th, however.

Chef's take:  "Don't just stand there like a big f**king muffin!"  "You put so much ginger in this, it's a Weasley!"

 5. Main Course:  Typically includes one or two protein-based dishes such as meat, poultry, or fish, often accompanied by vegetables or starches. 

You could feel the momentum shifting away from the EPs, as inDRStructible exploded in the top of the 5th, enjoying their best offensive outburst of the game!  They notched 5 big runs to leapfrog the EPs and take an 11-8 lead.  Whew.  So the EPs just sighed, gave up and went down in order, right?  Wrong!  Momentum, schmomentum!  Eric led off the bottom of the 5th with a grounder to short, but the shortstop bobbled, then pulled the first baseman off the bag with a poor throw.  Nate was kind enough to give the shortstop another chance with another grounder to short, but while the shortstop was able to step on second for the force on Eric, he then fired the ball past first for his second error in as many plays.  Nate took second on the overthrow, then scored on a single by Joe, cutting the deficit to 11-9.  Rob singled to put two on for Jeff, who smacked a hard single that not only plated Joe from second, but was deep enough to allow Rob to speed all the way around from first, once again tying the score at 11-11!  Can you taste what the EPs are cooking?!  Caleb kept the party going with a double that scored Jeff, and we had taken the lead, 12-11!  One out later, Mike dropped a single into centerfield to bring Caleb home, and it was 13-11!  What a cloyingly sweet comeback!  We pushed for even more, as Jae singled, and Fausto reached when his bouncer to the pitcher was misplayed for an error, loading the bases.  But we just couldn't get that one more hit that might have broken the game open.  Still, we answered DRS' 5-run outburst with an immediate 5-run response!  Tasty!

Chef's take:  "This lamb is so undercooked, it's following Mary to school."  "There's enough garlic in here to kill every vampire in Europe!"  "Why did the chicken cross the road?  Because you didn't f**king cook it!"

 6. Palate Cleanser:  A small, refreshing dish, such as a sorbet, to reset the taste buds before dessert. 

DRS scored twice in the top of the 6th inning to knot the score at 13-13.  But in the bottom of the 6th, Jonathan led things off with a single, and one out later, scored on Eric's double, giving the EPs the lead once again, this time at 14-13!  Nate singled Doc home, and it was 15-13!  And with two outs Rob doubled, and we went up 16-13 when Nate touched the plate!  A 3-run lead, and only 3 outs to go for the win!  Delicious!

Chef's take:  "I wouldn't trust you running a bath, let alone a restaurant."  "I've never, ever, ever, ever, ever met someone I believe in as little as you."

 7. Dessert:  A sweet course, which can range from pastries to elaborate plated desserts. 

Wouldn't you know it, DRS squeezed out exactly three runs in the top of the 7th, leaving things even at 16-16.  All we needed was one run.  One measly run and we could walk it off in style!  Just a dash of that savory offense!  But Caleb ripped a liner right into Scott's glove at third.  Erienne lined the ball right to the second baseman.  And Mike hit a cue-shot liner, also to second.  Three up, three down.  Damn.  Sorry, chef.

Chef's take:  "You added so much salt and pepper I can hear the dish singing, 'Push It'."  "This souffle has sunk so badly James Cameron wants to make a film about it."

 8. Mignardise:  Bite-sized confections or petit fours served at the end of the meal, often with coffee or tea, providing a final touch of indulgence. 

Bonus cantos, ladies and gentlemen!  Extra innings!  For the second inning in a row, DRS plated three runs, this time breaking the tie and going out in front, 19-16.  Alright, it's RALLY TIME!  In the bottom of the 8th inning, Jae led us off with a slow grounder.  Once again, the shortstop charged, fielded, and threw the ball away.  Jae would have beaten the throw anyway for a hit, but the error also allowed her to move up to second.  Fausto punched a grounder, and beat this one out for an infield hit, so we had runners at first and second!  Nobody out!  The tying run at the plate!  Here we go!  But, ugh, a 5-5-3 double-play grounder to third, followed by a routine groundout to short, and the game ended not with a BANG!, but with a very rude raspberry {pphhtttttt}!  😝

Chef's take:  "This fish is so raw, he's still finding Nemo."  "This crab is so undercooked, I can still hear it singing, 'Under the Sea'."

 The bill comes due: 

The 19-16 loss drops our season record to an even 3-3.  We are now 2-2 as the home team, 1-1 as the visitors.

The offensive player of the game was Jeff, who went 2-for-4 with a homerun, 2 runs scored and 5 rbi.  Also of note were:  Nate (2-for-4 with 3 runs scored and 2 rbi); Joe (3-for-4 with 3 runs scored and 2 rbi); Eric (3-for-4 with 3 runs scored and an rbi); Rob (3-for-3 with a double, 2 runs scored and 2 rbi); and Caleb (2-for-4 with a double, triple, run scored and 3 rbi).  On the mound, Rob pitched a complete game, but takes the loss (1-1), striking out one batter in the process.  On defense, left fielder Nate made a nice sliding catch in the top of the 2nd inning while sprinting in toward the infield, and also made an outstanding catch in the top of the 6th when the DRS batter blasted one over his head to left;  Nate raced back and snagged the ball with his back to the infield, saving at least two runs.  Shortstop Caleb made several nice grabs of grounders and pop-ups, but in particular, he did most of the work in a 6-6-3 double-play turned in the top of the 5th.  And third baseman Mike made a lunging grab of a pop-up to shallow left, preventing a runner at third from scoring.

Notes & Numbers

• Xtra!  Xtra!:  The last time the EPs went to extra innings was on August 2 of last year, when the EPs and No Glove No Love were tied at 10-10 after regulation in game #3 of the Cove Cup Tournament.  Neither team scored in the 8th, and NGNL outscored us 4-1 in the 9th to win 14-11.
• Leavin' 'em on:  In our first game of the season, we left 10 runners on base.  In game 2, only 4.  In game 3, 9.  And in game 4, 7 baserunners.  But we have stranded 11 runners in each of our last two ballgames.  That means we are just not getting the big hit in the big spot.
• Add it up:  Through 6 games played, the EPs have been outscored 97-81.  That's a run differential of -16, and an average game score of 16-14.  Not great, but good enough for a 3-3 record, I guess.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Erienne has now played in 75 career games for the EPs (16th-most all-time).  Eric hit his 60th career double in the 6th inning (4th-most all-time).  Caleb hit his 25th career triple in the 1st inning (5th-most all-time).
• Team Milestones:  Jonathan took our team's 250th plate appearance in the bottom of the 8th inning.  Joe scored our 75th run of the year in the 5th.  When Fausto singled in the bottom of the 8th, it was the EP's 125th hit of 2026.  Jeff drove in our 75th team rbi with his 5th-inning single.

Now here it is, your Moment of Zen:

[Editor's note:  As we head into the summer blockbuster season, I thought it might be nice to bring in some Hollywood star power for this recap.  🤩🎬🍿]

 A  Tom  Hardy welcome to you all!  As I  Sean  Penn this recap, I hope you are all well!

Warm, hazy (but not very humid) conditions greeted the Empty Pitchers on Thursday, as they invaded Colt Park in Hartford (field #7) one last time in this early 2026 softball season, to take on The Line Drivers for the second of five times this year.  The field was dry, but thankfully not too dusty, because that always makes me  Andy  Kaufman.  

Although the EPs came into this game with an unblemished 5-0 record all-time versus the team from the CT Department of Transportation, no laugher of a game could be expected.  The Line Drivers, our league's youngest team, has been steadily improving with each contest as they continue to  Helen  Hunt for their first win against us.  The first time the EPs faced them, in July of 2024, was super easy, barely an inconvenience, as the EPs rolled, 19-3.  In September of that year, the EPs would  Tom  Cruise to a 16-8 victory.  May of 2025 saw the EPs win 26-14, but TLD's offense was starting to look dangerous.  By August 2025's meeting, TLD fell behind early, but rallied only to fall just short, as the EPs held on, 8-7.  And just two weeks ago, TLD dominated the game, taking a 19-11 lead into the bottom of the 6th inning, when the EPs (you can't  Nicolas  Cage them!) erupted for a 10-run outburst and a 21-19 comeback victory.  Whew!  That rally was just in time to  Christian  Bale us out!  But  Elijah  Wood the matchup  Alan  Cumming up tonight be even closer?  Given TLD's steady maturation versus the EPs, this game was not to be underestimated.

In the spirit of fairness, the EPs allowed TLD to play as the home team in this one, so I'm thinking that they're  Clive  Owen us a favor.  They agreed to use our strike mat, but only for strikes -- there would be no  Christopher  Walken here tonight!  Nope, not one  Paul  Walker!  Furthermore, both teams could only supply two female players at gametime, so there would be no penalties or  Ralph  Fiennes assessed, although I  Amber  Heard that TLD had a couple more women arrive and enter the lineup mid-game.

Nate led off the 1st for the EPs, punching a single into right field that skipped off the fielder for an error that allowed Nate to  Penelope  Cruz into second.  He tagged and advanced to third on a deep flyout to left-center by Rob, and then tagged and scored on Joe's sacrifice fly to right field.  1-0 EPs!  Easy peasy!  We've got 'em  Robin  Wright where we want 'em!  Tino and Caleb tried to create a new rally with back-to-back singles, but no further damage was done.  Still, we were first to  Guy  Pearce the seal on the scoreboard.

Coming off last week's win against Acid Reign, Franchise again took the proverbial mound to pitch in the bottom of the  Colin  Firth inning, hoping the good vibes would  Jim  Carrey over to this week.  But either TLD bats were hot, or the EP defense was sleepy in the summer-like heat, or maybe a little of both, as our opponents slapped the ball around to the tune of five big runs and put the EPs in an early 5-1  Brad  Pitt.  Ouch!  That  William  Hurt!  Uh-oh.  It felt like they were about to  Halle  Berry us!  

I  Nicole  Kidman, because it was still really early in the game.  Fausto knocked a one-out single in the top of the 2nd inning, and two batters later, Ron reached safely when the second baseman booted his grounder.  The runners?   Charlize  Theron first and second.  Then, Nate did what Nate does, swatting an rbi-single to cash in and plate Fausto, cutting the deficit to 5-2.

The Line Drivers did not score in the bottom of the 2nd.

Now, I'll  Hugh  Grant you that the EPs got a little bit of help from our opponents in the top of the 3rd.  Joe boomed a solid double to lead off, a real  Hugh  Jackman, and when Tino followed that with a ground ball, but beat the toss for an infield single, the first baseman muffed the throw, allowing Tino to move up to second, and Joe to score our third run.  5-3.  What's that?  You say you want  Jay  Mohr runs?  Okay, let's get some  Drew Barrymore runs!  Caleb also hit an infield groundball, and again, the first baseman couldn't handle the throw as the ball skipped by him, leaving Tino at third and Caleb at second with no outs.  Two batters later, Mike  Courteney  Cox his bat back and lines a single to left-centerfield, bringing home both runners!   Vin  Diesel tie the game at 5-5!  Now our offense was really  Kevin  Bacon!

The Line Drivers did not score in the bottom of the 3rd.

In the top of the 4th inning, the EPs claimed their first lead of the game with a mini two-out rally.  Rob singled, then came all the way around to score (what a speed  Matt  Damon!) on Joe's second double in as many at-bats, and the EPs would  Gordon  Jump out in front, 6-5!

The Line Drivers did not score in the bottom of the 4th.  (Three straight shutout innings?  That's  Dan  Rather odd.)

Swinging the  Chris  Pine, I mean aluminum, Caleb opened the 5th with a base hit; Jae singled as well; and then Mike would  Chevy  Chase Caleb across the plate with our third straight hit, a bouncer back up the middle and into centerfield, upping our advantage to 7-5.  One out later, Bubbles singled to load the bases with one out, but an  Elizabeth  Taylor-made double play grounder ended the EP threat.

The Line Drivers did not score in the bottom of the 5th.  (Are you starting to sense a pattern?  They couldn't  Kurt  Russell up even one run?)

Similar to the 5th inning, the top of the 6th featured a singles party, as Rob and Joe singled consecutively with one out to put the rally in  Richard  Gere.  With two down, Caleb drove in Rob with another single, so the EP lead would  Orlando  Bloom to 8-5!  Sweet!

The Line Drivers did not score in the bottom of the 6th.  (Seriously?  Now that's something to  Russell  Crowe about!)

Mike began the top of the 7th frame with a bouncer just fair over the third base bag and into left for a single.  But  Bruce  Willis hit make a difference?  One out later, Jocelyn reached on yet another error by the first baseman, putting two runners on.  But another 5-5-3 double play ended the rally, as the EPs failed to score for the first inning in the game.

Heading to the home-half of the final inning with only an 8-5 lead, there were certainly some nerves out there.  But Franchise was  Chris  Rock solid and laid down the  Jude  Law, striking out two of the three TLD batters, as The Line Drivers did not score in the bottom of the 7th.  And just like that, we were  Nora  Dunn.  That's right.  The team that hung 19 runs on us two weeks ago was held scoreless, in slow-pitch softball, for six straight innings!  Wow!

This 8-5 victory improves our 2026 record to 3-2.  The  Heath  Ledger says that we are now 2-1 as the home team, and 1-1 as the visitors.

The offensive player of the game was Joe, who went 3-for-3 with a pair of doubles, a sac fly, a run scored and two rbi.  Also of note were Caleb (3-for-4 with 2 runs scored and an rbi) and  Gary  Oldman Mike (3-for-4 with 3 rbi), who was behind the plate as the  Ashton  Kutcher today.  Defensively, while there were no spectacular plays, the entire team did well.  At one point, Caleb, playing at  Martin  Short, made a great backhanded grab deep in the hole, and  Noah  Wyle made a strong throw to first, the runner beat it out for a hit.  Ron pitched a complete game, getting the win and improving his season record to 2-1 (23rd career win, 2nd only to Chris' 29).  He also struck out four batters, giving him 26 career K's (2nd only to Chris' 35).

Notes & Numbers

• Three is a Magic Number:  The Empty Pitchers have now won three consecutive games!   Chris  Evans to Betsy!  Our last winning streak of 3+ games came in 2024, when we won four straight:  15-6 over Caught Lookin on July 18; 19-3 over The Line Drivers on July 24; 15-8 over E.coli Happens on July 25; and 29-11 over the Regulators on August 1.
• Where's the Beef?:  After hitting 8 extra-base hits two weeks ago (4 doubles, 3 triples, 1 homerun) and 8 XBH last week (6 doubles, 1 triple, 1 homerun), we managed only two doubles by Joe in this one (plus 16 singles and a sac fly).  Small ball, indeed!
• Making it Count:  Hitting 18-for-39 in this game (.462 team BA), we managed to win the game.  The last time we won a game while batting under .500 as a team was on August 14, 2025, when we held off these same Line Drivers, 8-7, while going only 13-for-33 (.394).
• Milestones (since 2015):  Mike has now taken 700 career at-bats (2nd-most all-time).  Fausto took his 50th career at-bat in the 3rd inning, and now officially qualifies for career batting average (i.e. gets the *** by his name in the all-time list).  Nate got his 350th career hit in the 1st inning (5th-most all-time).
• Team Milestones:  When Jocelyn reached on an error in the 7th inning, it was the 10th time this year that an EP has reached base via a defensive miscue.

And with that, I'm done writing this recap.   Tom  Hanks for reading this far!  Now I'm a  Morgan  Freeman!  Woo-hoo!

Once again, here it is, your Moment of Zen:

[Editor's note:  Wow!  This was another really cool game by the team in green!  So cool that it deserves a really cool song to go with it!  I'll let you try to guess the song from the highlighted lyrics.  Of course, I omitted the refrain, as it includes the song title.]

 Well, if you told me  that on Thursday evening, the Empty Pitchers would return yet again to Colt Park in Hartford, this time for a rematch with Acid Reign, I'd say  you were drowning  in crazy juice.  Despite all of the myriad ballfields in Hartford County, the EPs have now played all of their first four games at Colt (thanks to a rainout of our scheduled Bloomfield game in Week 3), with another one coming next week.   I would not  say that I dislike Colt, I just want some variety.  But that should mercifully be it, as by mid-June, school should be out and the soccer and lacrosse kids should have vacated the premises of the region's schoolyards and parks, leaving the fields for us old(-er) people to play in, or might even  lend a hand  and play with our teams.

Anyway, Opening Day back on April 30th saw a tight, neck-and-neck game until the 5th inning, when Acid Reign dropped a 10-run inning on us to blow open the ballgame, eventually winning 21-11.   I've seen  worse, but it still hurt to lose.  But this time around, the EPs were coming off a stirring 21-19 win over The Line Drivers (including a huge comeback that'll put a smile on  your face ), and also this time around, unlike  before , we had  my friend  Joe in the lineup.  Acid Reign was missing a number of players due to an out-of-state wedding,  but I don't know if  that affected their lineup much.   You know  how these things are.  Also, Acid Reign agreed out of fairness to let the EPs play as the home team in this contest.  So with comfortable weather, a mostly dry infield and a much later sunset than a month ago, the EPs had to feel good about their chances tonight.  Positivity -- that's just  who I am .

 Well, I was there and  can report that Franchise got the nod to start the game, and limited Acid Reign to just a pair of runs in the top of the 1st inning.  In response, Eric opened the EP 1st with a single, then advanced to third when Nate went the other way and flicked a double to rightfield.  One out later, Rob doubled to bring the boys home and tie the game at 2-2.   I saw what you did  there, Rob,  I saw it with my own two eyes , and I loved it!  The Mellens then took over, with Jeff's fly to right more than enough to allow Rob to tag up and advance to third, before Erienne  so  skillfully dropped a single over the second baseman to plate Rob, giving the EPs their first lead at 3-2.  Yeah, we're smiling now!

But  you can wipe off that grin , because the 2nd inning went Acid Reign's way, as they pushed four runs across the dish to retake the lead, 6-3.  Hmm,  I know where  this is heading, and I'm not liking the looks of this.  Meanwhile, EPs,  you've been  hitting so well lately, but in this frame, our batters were retired in 1-2-3 fashion on three routine infield groundouts.  Oh, our recent offensive prowess has deserted us!   It's all been a pack of lies !

 Well, I remember  a point last week when the EPs were down 19-11, yet rallied to come back and win.   I remember, don't worry.  How could I ever forget  that 10-run inning we put together?  So calm down.  Take a breath.  Our opponents added a lone run in the top of the 3rd, increasing their advantage to 7-3, but  it's  here where the game turned completely.  In the home-half of the inning, Jae reached first when the shortstop fielded her grounder, but threw wide of the bag at first for an error.  Big, big mistake.  Eric singled, and not for  the first time  in this game, or  the last time  either, as he had four singles in four at-bats!  Then Nate doubled to right again, scoring Jae and putting runners at second and third.   We  were coming back, baby!  Joe ripped a single to plate both of them, and suddenly it was a one-run ballgame, at 7-6.  With two outs, Jeff doubled, moving Joe over to third, and then Erienne, who has punished virtually every pitch she has  ever met , did it again, singling to shallow right and driving in both Joe and Jeff.  The Empty Pitchers led once more, 8-7!

Ron's pitching and the EP defense clamped down hard now, holding the Acid Reign lineup absolutely scoreless in the 4th and 5th innings.  The EP offense took the bottom of the 4th off, managing only a one-out single by Chelsea,  but I know the reason why .  It was just to rest up for the 5th, when the bats came back to life!  Fausto got things rolling with a base hit, but was replaced on the basepaths due to a fielder's choice by Jae, who then took second base when the shortstop again threw the ball away at first, trying for the double-play.   You keep  throwing wildly, it's gonna come back to haunt you!  She moved to third on Eric's third single of the day, before Nate smashed a ball to short that ate up the fielder for another error.  Jae scored, leaving Eric at second and Nate at first.  But not for long, because Joe then deposited a pitch deep into the night for a 3-run homerun (1st season, 40th career)!  Acid Reign,  your silence  indicates how shell-shocked you must feel, as the EP lead ballooned  up  to 12-7!   No, you don't fool me !  Rob followed that power display with a single, but we failed to score any further runs in the 5th inning.

 Well , with a 5-run lead and two frames to go, Rob came out of the bullpen to take over pitching duties.  Following up on his two scoreless innings-pitched last week, he proceeded to blank Acid Reign in the top of the 6th.  Maybe  the hurt doesn't show  on our opponents' faces, but that's three straight scoreless innings by EP pitching!  And then the EP bats freakin' exploded!  In the good way, I mean, not the "shards-of-metal-all-over-the-place" way.  Caleb led off the bottom of the 6th with a triple to left, then scored when Mike's grounder up the middle found it's way past the infield defense for an rbi-single.  13-7.  Chelsea took Mike's spot on a fielder's choice, before singles by Tino and Fausto loaded the bases with two outs.  Now, an out here would've ended the threat meekly and mildly, with just one run allowed, but not today!  Jae came through with a clutch single, scoring Chelsea and turning over the lineup!  14-7!  Sorry, Acid Reign,  but the pain still grows !  Eric singled, plating Tino and Fausto!  16-7!  Nate singled, bringing Jae home!  17-7!  Joe doubled in Eric and Nate!  19-7!  Rob singled and Joe motored home!  20-7!  Jeff doubled and . . . well, Rob was held up at third and the inning ended without further fireworks, but still . . . !  An 8-run rally that blew the game open, thoroughly demoralizing Acid Reign in the process.   It's no stranger  than our 10-run outburst last week, but still pretty awesome to behold.  A little payback for what happened  to you and me  back on Opening Day.  Sweet!

We still had the 7th to play, though, and Acid Reign, to their credit, showed a bit of fight.  They pounded a few hits, and tallied four runs before we could record the final out, but it was too little, too late.  Empty Pitchers win, 20-11!  I've indeed been waiting for this moment.  Oh Lord, oh Lord . . . 😁

The victory improves our 2026 overall record to 2-2.  We are now 2-1 as the home team, 0-1 as the visiting team.

The offensive player of the game was Joe, who went 3-for-4 with a double, homerun, 3 runs scored and a whopping 7 rbi!  Also of note were Nate (3-for-4 with 2 doubles, 4 runs scored and 3 rbi); Eric (4-for-4 with 4 runs scored and 2 rbi); and Jae (1-for-3 with 3 runs scored and an rbi).  Ron picks up the pitching win (1-1), while Rob gets the save (1).  On the glove side, kudos go out to shortstop Caleb and short-centerfielder Erienne, both of whom played stellar defense.  And an honorable mention to second baseman Chelsea, whose bobbling, fumbling, bouncing almost-catch of a line drive was almost, almost, almost a triple-play and play-of-the-year candidate.

Notes & Numbers

• Monkey off our back:  This win breaks the Empty Pitchers' 6-game losing streak versus Acid Reign.  The last time we beat them was on September 16, 2023, when we finished the season with a 15-7 Saturday victory.  In that game, Josh went 5-for-5, Nancy was 4-for-4 with 5 rbi, while Eric pitched a complete game for the win.
• 20/20 vision:  The EPs have now scored 20+ runs in back-to-back games.  The last time this happened was way back in 2022, when we beat the Bisons 20-14 on August 4th, then opened the Cove Cup Tournament on August 6th with a 22-14 win over E.coli Happens in game #1, and a 21-3 drubbing of inDRStructible in game #2 to make it three 20+ runs-scoring games in a row.  That was a great three days, ladies and gentlemen!
• RB-Aye!:  Joe was mashing today, posting 7 rbi in the game!  The last EP to have as many as 7 rbi in a contest was . . . Joe, who drove in 7 runs in our 15-6 victory over Caught Lookin' at Cove Park on July 18, 2024.  In that game, he went 4-for-5 with a double, triple, and 3 runs scored.  The last EP to have more than 7 rbi in a game was Rob, who picked up 9 rbi in our 22-19 win over the NBBA Master Batters on June 4, 2019, when he went 5-for-5 with 3 doubles, a triple and a homerun.
• Who's hot?:  Eric has hits in four straight plate appearances, and 6 of his last 7 at-bats.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Jeff's double in the 3rd inning was the 250th at-bat of his career (15th-most all-time).  Mike's 6th-inning single was the 400th hit of his career (2nd-most all-time).  Joe's homerun in the 5th inning was his 40th career round-tripper (2nd-most all-time).  Erienne picked up her 50th career rbi with her 3rd-inning single (15th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Tino's 6th-inning single was our team's 150th plate appearance of the season.  Jae's single in the 6th inning was the EP's 150th at-bat of 2026.  Caleb scored our 50th run of the year in the 6th inning.  Joe's 6th-inning double was our team's 10th two-bagger of the season.  Mike drove in our 50th run of 2026 in the 6th inning.  Mike's 6th-inning single was our 100th total base of the year.

And if you're still stumped on the song lyrics, this clip from The Hangover should be a big hint: 

https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=youtube+the+hangover+mike+tyson+in+the+air+tonight&&mid=EDD994CD7BCEAC89DD20EDD994CD7BCEAC89DD20&churl=https%3a%2f%2fwww.youtube.com%2fchannel%2fUCcVbG05zJzQY7aaTf9kYgDg&FORM=VRDGAR

Now here it is, your Moment of Zen:

[Editor's note:  Y'know, by mid-game on Thursday, I was mentally preparing for the Empty Pitchers to lose the softball game, to fall to a disappointing 0-3 to start the 2026 season.  In my head, I was planning to do a write-up as if it were hosted by Lewis Black, the old, foul-mouthed, cantankerous, foul-mouthed, Jewish, foul-mouthed comedian who's always ready to yell and rant and complain about anything and everything.  I was ready to wallow in angry depression.  So what happens?  The EPs go and win.  And not just win.  They go and do it with what is perhaps their greatest, most spirited comeback of all time!  ALL TIME!  Now how the heck can I complain about that?  You've ruined everything, EPs!  Harumph!  🤬

Anyway, this game was so good, I've decided to let it stand by itself.  No gimmicks this week.]

  The Empty Pitchers' 2026 softball season began about a month ago with back-to-back games at Colt Park in Hartford.  Then the rains came and spoiled our chance to play up in Bloomfield last week.  So now we've schlepped back to Colt Park for three more games, including this evening's matchup with The Line Drivers (TLD), the team composed of employees of the Connecticut Department of Transportation.  They're our league's newest team, and while the EPs came into tonight with an unblemished 4-0 all-time record against them, they have proven to be a talented team that has been improving steadily.  In fact, in our last meeting, the Line Drivers fell behind 7-0 early, but battled back to fall just short, 8-7, as the EP offense sputtered for most of the game.  It was clear that this would not necessarily be an easy contest for the EPs, still looking for their first win of the year.

The Franchise took the mound to start for the EPs under cool, cloudy skies, and the Line Drivers got right to work in the top of the 1st inning.  They took advantage of some sloppy infielding to get people on base, and of the tall outfield grass to extend singles into extra bases, tallying four early runs to jump out in front, 4-0.  The defensive highlight was a grounder back up the middle, which shortstop Tino fielded and tossed to second baseman Jocelyn; the ball spurted out of her glove, but she was able to chase it down and flip back to Tino, who had gone to the bag, to still get the old routine 6-4-6 forceout at second.  Way to stay with the play!

Needing an answer, Nate singled with one out in the bottom of the frame, and moved to third on a double by Joe, making his 2026 season debut.  Rob scorched a ball to third that ate up the defender for an error, allowing Nate to score, and Joe to advance to third, which became quite an important point, as Joe then tagged and scampered home on Erienne's pop-out to the pitcher (who made the catch moving toward right field with his back to the plate).  Tino also singled in the inning, but the EPs settled for just the pair of runs, trailing 4-2 after one.

Things began to look bleak in the top of the 2nd, as TLD thumped out seven more runs, putting the EPs in an early, shocking 11-2 hole.  Ouch!  Did they improve their lineup?  Or are we getting worse defensively?

In response, Mike ripped a one-out double down the line in left, then moved to third when Ron reached on an error by the first baseman.  Jocelyn's fielder's choice grounder scored Mike to make it 11-3, and after Eric laced the ball into the outfield for a single, Nate tripled both Bubbles and Doc home to cut our deficit to 11-5.  Sweet!

Both teams added a single run in their respective halves of the 3rd inning, our defense aided by a nice diving stop by Jocelyn of a grounder to second, which she ate up and tossed to Tino for the 4-6 force at the bag.  The EP run came about when Rob opened things with a leadoff double, and later scored on Tino's base hit to make it 12-6.

After TLD tacked on another pair of runs in the top of the 4th to go up 14-6, we knew it was time for some fireworks, or we would soon fall too far behind to even think about a comeback.  Mike, Ron and Jocelyn all singled consecutively to open the home half of the 4th, with Jocelyn's driving in Mike to make it 14-7.  Eric chased Ron home with an rbi-single, and Jocelyn motored across the plate on a fielder's choice grounder to short by Nate.  Suddenly, it was 14-9, and we were starting to believe we could rally!  Joe singled, but was forced out at second on a grounder by Rob that moved Nate to third, before Erienne singled, scoring Nate with our 10th run of the game!  Double figures for the first time this season!  Tino followed with his third hit of the day, a single to plate Rob, and we were back in the ballgame, at 14-11!  Still chasing three, but with three innings yet to play, we were starting to feel confident.  We could do this, baby!

And then came the 5th inning.  After scoring five runs in the bottom of the 4th, we gave it all right back.  With two outs and nobody on, no less, TLD began stringing together hit after hit, plating run after run, and by the time the third out was recorded, they had scored five devastating runs of their own, and it was 19-11.  Oof!  Back to an 8-run hole.  Dang, I can't watch this -- it felt like the patented "One Bad Inning" had struck again, dashing our hopes.  And to make matters worse, in the bottom of the 5th, we got a single by Mike, and Ron reached on a fielder's choice (with no out recorded, when the shortstop fielded Ron's grounder but then seemingly got hit with a braincramp and was forced to just eat it), but we failed to score anything at all.  Clearly, the low-point of the game for the EPs.

And then, for whatever reason, . . . the momentum shifted.

Rob came out of the bullpen to pitch the top of the 6th, and we held our opponents scoreless for the first time in the ballgame, including a pair of liners to Mike at third, one a knuckleball floater in the shortstop hole and one a screaming shot right at his knees.  In between, Nate made another of his famous sliding catches of a dying-quail to short leftfield.  A good start . . .   

But if we had any thoughts of a comeback, we needed to score, as well.  Like . . . a lot.  And to that end, the EP bats suddenly began sounding like a Batman comic book!  BAM!  Nate sparked the offense with a ringing base hit, followed by a single from Joe.  POW!  Rob knocked a double to plate Nate and cut the score to 19-12.  ZOT!  With runners at second and third, Erienne stroked a 2-run single to bring both Joe and Rob in, and it was 19-14.  KAZOWIE!  Tino chased E around the bags with a booming rbi-triple to make it 19-15.  WHAMMO!  And then Jeff unloaded with a monster shot to right, a 2-run bomb (1st season, 20th career)!  Awesome, that's six big runs, closing the gap to 19-17, but now the bases were empty.  Could we keep it going?  Chelsea singled!  Mike singled past the shortstop's glove and into left-center!  Ron singled, scoring Chelsea to make it a one-run game at 19-18!  And as Mike took third on Ron's hit, Ron moved to second on the throw!  Jocelyn's groundout to short finally recorded our first out of the frame, but Mike scored on the play to knot things up at 19-19!  We had done it!  We had come all the way back!  Can you believe it?!  And even better, Ron moved to third, so that he tagged and scored the go-ahead run on Eric's sacrifice fly to left!  20-19!  And you know what?  We weren't even done!  Nate singled again, and then Joe ripped his first triple of the year, and the EP's third three-bagger of the game, scoring Nate for the second time in the inning, to complete our 10-run outburst, and give the Empty Pitchers an incredible 21-19 advantage going to the final inning!  Wow!!!

But we still had three more outs to get to secure this improbable victory.  The first TLD batter ripped a liner to left-center, what looked like a sure hit to the gap, but Erienne, playing as a short-centerfielder, streaked across and made an amazing outstretched grab for the first out.  And with two outs, the hitter smacked a bouncer right back up the middle; the ball deflected off the glove of pitcher Rob, and then shortstop Tino was able to snag it and fire to first to just nab the runner to end the inning, and the game.  EPs win!  Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee EPs . . . WIN!!!  (RIP John Sterling)

This thrilling 21-19 victory improves our overall 2026 record to 1-2.  We are now 1-1 as the home team, and 0-1 as the visiting team.

The offensive player of the game was Nate, who went 4-for-5 with a triple, 4 runs scored and 3 rbi.  Also of note were Rob (2-for-5 with 2 doubles, 3 runs scored and 2 rbi); Erienne (2-for-3 with a sacrifice fly, run scored and 4 rbi); and Jocelyn (1-for-4 with 2 runs scored and 3 rbi).  Rob picked up the pitching win to move his record to 1-0 for the season, and 2-0 all-time.

Notes & Numbers

• Extra! Extra!:  After being limited to only one extra-base hit in our first game of the season versus Acid Reign, and only two versus Caught Lookin', we exploded for 8 XBH in tonight's win over The Line Drivers.  That includes 4 doubles (Joe, Rob, Rob, Mike), 3 triples (Nate, Joe, Tino) and the first EP homerun of the season (Jeff).
• Everybody's at the party!:  All 11 EPs in the lineup had at least one base hit, and scored at least one run tonight.  Also, everyone but Chelsea and Mike recorded at least one rbi.
• Who's hot?:  Tino (1b, 1b, 1b, 3b) and Mike (2b, 1b, 1b, 1b) have had base hits in 4 consecutive plate appearances.
• Twice as nice:  Thanks to our offensive explosion in the 6th inning, Nate, Joe and Rob became the first EPs to bat a second time in an inning since Jonathan Beaulieu did so in our 19-8 victory over E.coli Happens on May 15, 2025.  [This is, of course, excluding the times when we've needed female players to bat twice in the lineup due to a lack of players.]  Nate and Joe both became the first EPs to record two hits in an inning since Ron had two singles in the 4th inning of our 29-11 win versus the Regulators on August 1, 2024.  Nate became the first EP to score twice in an inning since Rob did so in the 2nd inning of our 19-3 win over The Line Drivers on July, 24, 2024.
• The roaring twenties:  The last time we scored 20+ runs in a game was on May 1, 2025, when we downed The Line Drivers 26-14 at Colt Park.  
• Seeing double (figures):  You might think that scoring 10 runs in a single inning would be a rarity.  Not this year.  In game #1, Acid Reign enjoyed a 10-run bottom of the 5th en route to beating us, 21-11.  In game #2, Caught Lookin' dropped a dime on us in the top of the 2nd inning, eventually winning, 22-5.  And of course, in this third game, we scored 10 times in the bottom of the 6th.  In contrast, the Empty Pitchers did not have a double-figure inning at any point last season, while our opponents did so only twice -- The Dream Team scored 11 runs in the 2nd inning of their 17-14 win against us on May 21, and then scored 17 runs in the 5th inning of the infamous 34-7 "mush-ball bat" game on September 4.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Jocelyn's rbi-groundout in the 6th inning was her 600th career at-bat (4th-most all-time).  Erienne's 6th-inning single was the 250th at-bat of her EP career (14th-most all-time).  Joe's double in the 1st inning was the 60th 2-bagger of his career (3rd-most all-time).  Jeff hit his 20th career homerun in the 6th inning (5th-most all-time).  Erienne scored for the 50th time in her career in the 6th inning (14th-most all-time).  Eric picked up his 150th career rbi in the 4th inning (6th-most all-time).
• Team Milestones:  Eric's grounder to first to end the 5th inning was our team's 100th plate appearance of 2026.  Joe's single in the 6th inning was our team's 100th at-bat of the season.  Jocelyn scored our 25th team run of the year in the 4th inning.  Erienne's single in the 6th was our team's 50th hit of 2026.  Nate had our team's 25th rbi of the season in the 4th inning.  Joe picked up our team's 75th total base with his 6th-inning triple. 

Here it is, your moment of Zen:

Cue the saxophones.  It's time for "rain delay theater" with Ricky Ricardo!

The rain that has fallen since yesterday, coupled with the ongoing storminess, has left the field at Bloomfield High School unplayable.  Therefore, E.coli Happens manager Richie has decided to call off tonight's contest with the Empty Pitchers.  Did anyone bring the tarp for the pitchers' mound?

We'll try to earn our first win of 2026 next week, boys and girls!

Oh, and here it is, your Moment of Zen:

[Editor's note:  I'm not sure why exactly, but the old Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd cartoon, "Rabbit of Seville," came up in a conversation recently.  So now it's stuck in my head.  The lyrics are highlighted in the text below, so now it'll be stuck in yours, too!]

 How do  I describe this week's softball game?

A beat down.  

It's as simple as that.   Welcome to my  little  shop  of softball horrors.  A 22-5 loss.  A solid dose of punishment at the hands of Caught Lookin'.  Ugh.

 Let me cut  to the chase, save  your  questions, and we'll  mop  up the details later.  In all honesty, it's a shock that we played the game at all.   Let me  explain.  Firstly, several days earlier, the forecast had called for heavy rain on Wednesday and Thursday.  It was a close  shave , but the precipitation cleared early, leaving us with about 16 hours of drying time, a mostly sunny evening, and a puddle-free softball field.  Yes,  your  dugouts at Field #7 at Colt Park were rudely padlocked, but the infield had been raked (no  crop  of weeds  daintily, daintily  growing everywhere), and the outfield grass (fairly) recently mowed, so  hey , the conditions were far, far better than  you  or I could have expected.  Secondly, the Empty Pitchers' roster was rather threadbare this week, with only nine players suiting up at gametime (including a surprise season-debut appearance by Tino), and only two of them of the female persuasion.  Furthermore, we were lacking the offensive firepower of the likes of lineup regulars Joe, Rob, Caleb and Jocelyn.  Were we looking at a forfeit loss?  Not quite.   Don't look so perplexed  and here's  why  -- turns out, Caught Lookin' were also short on personnel for this game, their opening day, being able to assemble only nine players, and only two of them female.   Must  be fate,  you  know?  So, it was a fortuitous wash -- no penalties would  be  assessed either way, although both teams were only mildly  vexed  to have to play with three-man outfields.  

With an unusual defensive alignment behind him, including Jae at catcher, Ron at first, Jeff at second, etc., Eric took the mound to pitch.   Can't you  just  see  it?  But despite getting a lot of strikes (both swings-and-misses and pitches hitting the strike board) in the course of the game, Caught Lookin' pounced early, notching six big runs in the top of the 1st inning to jump out in front, 6-0.  But fear not, EPs, for  you're  coming up  next .   Yes, you're next.  You're so next! 

 How  did we respond?  In the home-half of the frame, Eric set  about  jump-starting the offense with an opening double, then came around to score on  a nice  sharp single by Nate.  The EPs were on the board, at 6-1.  Later, with Nate on second and two outs, Erienne had a  close shave  with destiny when she rapped a single to bring him in, cutting our deficit to 6-2.  That'll  teach  Caught Lookin' to underestimate  your  EP rightfielder!  Not a huge rally, nothing to make our opponents'  whiskers  quake, but a respectable answer, nonetheless.   To behave  otherwise would be unseemly of an Empty Pitcher.

Caught Lookin' was having none of it, however.  They displayed  lots of lather , lining  lots of  balls into the gaps and ultimately blasting ten runs across the plate in the top of the 2nd, turning a close contest into a quick laugher, at 16-2.  [sigh]  Time for the EPs to give up?

Wash your mouth out with  soap !   Please, hold still.  Don't be a dope.   Time for another . . . umm . . . "respectable answer" from the EPs in the bottom of the inning.  Leadoff hitter Mike reached when his grounder to third was fielded cleanly, but fired past the first baseman's glove and out of play for a two-base error.  Okay, so it's not a hit, but behind by this many runs  now ,  we're ready for the scrapin'  and clawin' for baserunners any way we can get 'em.   There's no use  in denying it.  Ron singled  to try  to move Mike to third, and then Jae brought him home with a hit of her own.  16-3, and no  escapin'  the fact that every run was crutial if we were to come back.  Eric's bouncer to third allowed the third baseman to grab it and outrace Ron to the bag for the force, but then he got greedy and threw to second, again throwing the ball away, which let Jae and Eric to advance to third and second bases, respectively.   Yell and scream and rant and rave , cuz' here's come the EPs!  The next two batters did bounce back to the mound, but Jae (#6-7!) scampered home on Nate's grounder to improve the score to 16-4.  Still way behind, but still fightin'!   There's no use  crying over it,  you need  to understand, as we were as yet only two innings into the game.

Like  a shave  with a really dull blade, neither team could draw blood in the 3rd.   Ooh , we held Caught Lookin' scoreless for once!   Ouch, ouch !  We went down in order on a flyout and another pair of bouncers to the pitcher.  

 Ooh , we've still got time to make a game of it!   Ouch , Caught Lookin' added a lone run in the top of the 4th, extending their advantage to 17-4.   Ooh, ooh , now's our chance to explode with a big inning!  Yet the EPs were shut down 1-2-3 again in the last-half of the 4th on a lineout to the pitcher and two grounders to shortstop.   Ouch .

The situation somehow got even worse  there  in the top of the 5th.   You're  asking how?  Caught Lookin' continued to pile on, adding five more runs in the top of the 5th, now making it 22-4.  The EPs countered with a tiny, kinda weird rally.  Eric led off the bottom of the frame with a  nice and clean  grounder to short, and  although  the shortstop gloved it, his throw to first was lost in the setting sun and went right by the first baseman and out of play, putting Eric at second.   Your  next batter, Nate, then smashed the  face  off the ball to right-center, put his head down, and sprinted like a rabbit!   Looks like  a three-bagger!   It might have gone  for even more!  But Doc had to initially hold to make sure the ball fell in  through  the defense, and when the throw-in from the outfield got to the plate quickly, as if fired from  a machine  gun, Eric had to hit the brakes and tried to return to third.   Ooh  --  wait'll I  tell you that you can't have two players at the same base, and so Eric was easily tagged out, while Nate would  get  to remain on third.   That rabbit  Nate would immediately cross the plate, however, as Jeff ripped a single to get it to 22-5.  But that was as far as that rally went.   What ?   Would you want  more?  Yeah, me too, actually.

 With  an agreement that the 6th would be our final inning due to the encroaching twilight, not  a  single additional EP  rabbit  would be seen this evening.  Our opponents were kept off the scoreboard entirely in their half of the inning, a minor victory for the EP defense.  But you  can't  win without some offensive firepower,  you see .  In our last chance in the bottom of the 6th, Fausto took  that  to heart, leading the EPs off with a single.   I'm much  sorrier to report that Mike then grounded into a 6-4-3 double play to erase him.  Ron had a  sweeter  outcome with a single, his second base hit of the night, but was left there when the game ended with a routine groundout.  Inning over.  Ballgame over.   I'm  going to pout now.

The 22-5 loss drops  your  overall 2026 record to 0-2.  We are now 0-1 as the home team, and 0-1 as the visitors.  Let's hope for a  little  better next game, senor o  senorita .

The offensive player of the game was Nate, who went 2-for-3 with a triple, 2 runs scored and 2 rbi.  Dude,  you are my type of guy !  Defensively,  let me  report that centerfielder Fausto made a great, leaping grab of a screaming liner into right-centerfield in the 1st inning;  that play helped  straighten  out the Caught Lookin' rally and saved a few runs.   Your  catcher Jae caught a foul pop-up behind the plate, retiring a tough hitter.  Third baseman Mike made the play on a foul pop near the Caught Lookin' dugout area, deftly avoiding their bags, bats, chairs and babies.  It's a  tie , I guess.   And  pitcher Eric pitched a complete game while striking out one Caught Lookin' batter (also going to 2-strikes on a number of hitters).

Notes & Numbers

• Sleepwalking:  Following Jae's single in the 2nd inning, the next nine EP batters were retired in order, until Eric reached on an error to open the 5th inning.  That streak included every EP hitter, as we only had a nine-player lineup tonight.  I hope that  I shall  never see that level of ineptitude again.
• Watchin' 'em  dance :  Caught Lookin' scored 16 runs through the first two innings.  The last time we allowed that many runs over the first two frames was way back on June 7, 2023, when The Dream Team scored 11 runs in the 1st inning, then 7 more in the 2nd, en route to a 21-7 win over the EPs at the Bloomfield Rec. Dept.
• No soup  for you !:  We lost to Caught Lookin' today by the score of 22-5.  The last time we played them?  August 28, 2025, when they beat us 22-5 at Newington High School.  The time before that?  July 24, 2025, when we lost, 16-5, also at Newington.  Maybe we should try scoring a couple more runs next time?
• Milestones (since 2015):  Jae has now taken 275 career at-bats (11th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  When Nate ground out in the 2nd inning, it was the 50th plate appearance by an EP this season.  When Jeff ground out in the 2nd inning, it was the 50th at-bat by an EP this year.  Ron had our team's 25th hit of the season with his single in the 2nd inning.

 Ehhhh, . . . next! 

And now, your Moment of Zen:

[Editor's note:  Last year, the recap of our first softball game honored the UConn women's basketball team for winning the 2025 National Championship.  This season, the UConn men's basketball team lost in the 2026 NCAA championship game to Michigan, by a score of 69-63.  Still . . . that's a pretty impressive season, and they're well-deserving of a tribute of their own!  You'll find all 15 rostered players and the four coaches below!]

It's Opening Day 2026!

That's right, a brand new season with unlimited opportunities!  Last year's rough 6-16 record is now history, and the Empty Pitchers are once again tied  Jacob Furphy  first place in the league, albeit along with every other team, at 0-0.  So how to get the new schedule started?  Well, how about right where we finished off last September -- on Field #1 at Colt Park in Hartford, taking on long-time rival Acid Reign, and their manager  Jacob Ross .

So it was on the cloudy, cool (60 degrees at game time), last day of April that the EPs took up their bats once more, ready to rock!  And rock they did, with Eric jump-starting the season with a solid single off of Acid Reign pitcher Mark.  One out later, Rob ripped a single down the thirdbase line to put a pair on for Caleb, who promptly mashed a two-run triple to left.  And just like that, the EPs had broken the seal and taken the first lead of the year at 2-0!  Jae then brought Caleb home with a groundout to third, increasing the score to 3-0.  So, with two outs and no one on, the inning was pretty much done, right?  Don't  Braylon Mullins  that question too long, because Jeff and Erienne both singled, before Mike's single over the bag at third chased Jeff home to make it 4-0.  Ron dropped a swinging bunt in front of the plate, but beat out the throw from the pitcher (which actually drilled him in the back as he touched first base) for an infield single to load the bases.  Fausto then cleared a couple of those bases with a two-run liner up the middle, as Erienne and  Mike Nardi  scored to complete the EP outburst at 6-0.  Not a bad way to begin a campaign!

It wasn't going to be that easy, though.  Acid Reign struck back in the bottom of the 1st inning, plating four runs to  Silas Demary Jr  the shutout aspirations of EP starting pitcher Ron, and close their deficit to 6-4 after a frame.

All 11 EP batters having batted in the 1st, the 2nd inning began much the same way, as Eric opened things with a single.  Nate's single to center pushed Doc all the way to third, so there were runners at the corners with no outs.  Don't get too excited, however, as another big rally was not to be.  Rob reached when his grounder to short forced Mr.  Malachi Smith  at second, with Eric crossing the plate to make it 7-4.  But that was it for the offense this time, as a pop-up and a groundout followed, a real threat- Alec Millender .

Acid Reign was kept off the board in the bottom of the 2nd, thanks largely to a sweet double play.  With a runner at third and no outs, the batter slapped a grounder toward third.  Thirdbaseman Mike fielded and fired to Rob at first, but the runner from third broke for home a little late, and Rob then threw the  Solo Ball  to catcher Jocelyn at the plate, who put the tag on the runner to complete the 5-3-2 twin-killing.  Nice!  That play gave us  Rrezon Elezaj  to cheer!

The EPs added to their 7-4 advantage in the top of the 3rd, when the lawfirm of Mellen, Mellen & Mike struck for back-to-back-to-back base hits, loading the bags for Ron.  And Franchise was clutch, knocking a single to move everyone up a base and push Jeff across the dish to get it to 8-4.  Then Fausto  Uros Paunovic  up and drove a pitch to deep leftfield, and although the leftfielder corraled the ball for the out, Erienne tagged from third and came home to give the EPs a 9-4 lead.  A pair of groundouts prevented further damage.

Our opponents logged three runs of their own in the bottom of the 3rd, closing the gap to 9-7, but who knows how many further runs were saved when shortstop Caleb ended the inning with a leaping snatch of a line drive over his head?  A great play to preserve our lead!  I'll bet Acid Reign would like to  Alex Karaban  that kind of athleticism!

The top of the 4th was our first scoreless frame of the year, as Nate's leadoff single was wasted by a pop-out, flyout and groundout.

Unfortunately, Acid Reign chose not to take an inning off, as they plated four more unanswered runs in the bottom of the 4th to  Jayden Ross  their effort and grab their first lead of the season at 11-9.  Again, things could have been worse but for a spectacular defensive play.  This time, it was leftfielder Nate making his patented sliding catch of a dying-quail blooper on the leftfield line.  Awesome!

Looking to make a comeback and retake our lead, the EPs went to work in the top of the 5th when, with one out, both Erienne and Mike lined singles into the outfield.  With two outs, Fausto and Jocelyn also punched consecutive singles, Bubbles' hit driving in E to make it just a one-run ballgame at 11-10.  What a game!

And then the bottom (of the 5th) dropped out.  For whatever reason, the Acid Reign hitters kept . . . well, hitting . . . largely putting ball after ball right up the middle of the diamond for singles to center.  Knocking the  Tarris Reed Jr  out of the ball again and again and again.  That allowed them to score numerous times, and eventually, they added a big blow with a grand slam to left-centerfield.  When the dust settled, they had tallied ten crushing runs to blow the game open at 21-10.  Ugh!  I will  Jaylin Stewart  about that inning for a while!  The EP defense was not the problem, and did limit the damage a tad when one Acid Reign batter crushed a ball deep but slipped coming around third while attempting the homerun:  Left-centerfielder Eric retrieved the ball and proceeded to  Dan Hurley  it to his cutoff man in shortstop Caleb, who spun and fired to Mike at third;  Mike ran the runner toward home, tossing to pitcher Ron covering the plate;  when the runner reversed and tried to return to third, Ron flipped back to Mike for the tag and the 8-6-5-1-5 putout.

With dusk falling quickly under cloudy skies, it was agreed that there was no  Dwayne Koroma  we could get the whole game in -- the 6th would be our final inning.  Now down by eleven runs, Nate and Rob got a rally going with back-to-back singles to open the frame.  A  Luke Murray  of hope!  But three groundouts would follow, with Nate touching home on Jae's bouncer to third.  That cut it to 21-11, and that was it.  Game over.  Time to  Eric Reibe .  😭

The 21-11 loss drops our  Kimani Young  2026 season record to 0-1.  We are now 0-1 on the road.

The players of the game were Erienne (3-for-3 with 3 runs scored) and Fausto (2-for-2 with a sacrifice fly and 3 rbi).

Notes & Numbers

• First things first:  Just like last year, Eric had the EPs' first base hit of the season.  He also scored the first run of the year.  Caleb got our first extra-base hit, a triple in the top of the 1st, and also picked up our first rbi.
• Startin' slow:  Since 2015, the EPs are now 4-8 on Opening Day.  We have now lost four consecutive season openers (18-17 to Pretty Reckless; 24-17 to Throwin' Shade; 17-16 to Acid Reign; and now 21-11 to Acid Reign).
• Not bad.  Not really bad.:  Yeah, the 21-11 final score of this game looks bad.  But there's a lot to like about how we did.  For one thing, every batter contributed.  10 of 11 batters had a hit.  8 of 11 batters had multiple hits.  7 of 11 batters scored a run.  7 of 11 batters had an rbi.  As a team, we went 21-for-38, for a .553 team batting average.  The last time we hit that well was 9 games ago versus E.coli Happens in game #2 of last year's Cove Cup Tournament on August 2nd, when we hit .578 and beat them 17-11.  And defensively, we were pretty solid, and made numerous quality plays as detailed above.
• Who's (still) hot?:  Going back to last season, Mike has now had hits in each of his last 6 plate appearances (all singles).
• Milestones (since 2015):  Caleb's 4th-inning flyout was his 350th career at-bat (9th-most all-time).  When Jocelyn singled in the 5th inning, it was her 175th career hit (9th-most all-time).  Jeff's 1st-inning single was the 150th hit of his career (11th-most all-time).  Erienne picked up her 100th career hit with her 5th-inning single (13th-most all-time).  Ron's rbi in the 3rd inning was the 125th rbi of his career (9th-most all-time).

  What the %!#& happened in the bottom of the 5th???