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TOPIC: Joke of the day. |
| Purelife
May 13, 2009
1:19:29 PM
Entry #: 3153992
| Two men walk into the Unionville Arms, one wearing a Grocer cap and the other wearing a Remax cap. After a while, the guy in the Grocer cap approaches the bartender to propose a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."
The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."
The man positions a shot glass at one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses everywhere all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender. The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.
The guy in the Grocer cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.
"What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender. "You just lost $1,000!"
"Well, you see that guy in the Remax cap over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad you would laugh hysterically about it!"
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| Steaner Jr
May 13, 2009
4:44:29 PM
Entry #: 3154257
| haha... I like it... but you stole that from the movie "Desperado".
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| Purelife
May 15, 2009
8:35:52 AM
Entry #: 3156312
| Two longtime friends and huge baseball fanatics promised to come back as an Angel to let the other know if Baseball exists in the after life if they pass away.
Well, a month later one passes on of natural causes. A few weeks pass by and one night, a bright light shines in the friends bedroom who happens to still be alive. It's his buddy from heaven. He sits up and asks, IS THERE BASEBALL UP IN HEAVEN?
The angel replies, "I have good news and bad news".
"Give me the good news first".
"There is Baseball in the afterlife".
"SWEET, what can possibly be the bad news".
Angel says emotionally, "We have a Double-Header this weekend and they're calling you up to pitch the second game".
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| Purelife
May 17, 2009
9:46:44 AM
Entry #: 3157701
| Two boys are playing hockey on an inlet on a pond in suburban Chicago when one is attacker by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick and wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who is strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to the boy. "Young White Sox Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Sox fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in Chicago, I just assumed you were," said the reporter, and he began writing again.
"Cubs Fan Rescues Friends from Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Cubs fan either," the boy said.
"I assumed everyone in Chicago was either for the Cubs or the Sox. What team do you root for?" inquired the reporter. "I'm a Yankees fan," the child responded.
The reporter turned the page in his notebook and wrote "Little Bastard from New York Kills Beloved Family Pet."
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| Gamer1
May 18, 2009
9:09:44 PM
Entry #: 3159594
| If a ball goes off your head when trying to make a catch, does it make a sound?
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| winnberg
May 19, 2009
11:51:59 AM
Entry #: 3160242
| Steaner, they mention The Unionville Arms, The Village Grocer and Re/Max in Desperado? CRAZY!
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| Fairplay
May 24, 2009
6:41:51 PM
Entry #: 3165461
| One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.
Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I've got Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."
"Yes", laughed the devil, "but I have all the umpires!"
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