Empty Pitchers

Poll

Question: How likely are the Empty Pitchers to finish the 2023 softball season with a winning record?
Response	Pct	Votes
GUARANTEED - . . . [Svolach! There was a really funny response here, but Russia bombed it to rubble.]	75.0%	3
LIKELY - . . . [Dang! Southwest Airlines cancelled this option. And lost my luggage in the process.]	25.0%	1
EVEN MONEY - Like the chances that Twitter will . . . [ALERT: This option has been restricted per Elon Musk.]	0.0%	0
UNLIKELY - . . . [Herschel Walker told me that he would supply this response, but I guess he aborted it.]	0.0%	0
IMPOSSIBLE - Like the odds that Taco Bell's new . . . [Whoops! My dog just ate the rest of that option. Now he'll be throwing up words like "chalupa" all evening.]	0.0%	0

Previous Polls

How likely are the Empty Pitchers to finish the 2026 softball season with a winning record?
If AMC decided to make a Walking Dead spinoff focusing on the Empty Pitchers, what would the title be?
Which 2025 Hollywood movie about the Empty Pitchers would you most want to see?
With the recent passing of Pope Francis, there was an opening at the top of the Catholic Church's hierarchy. Prior to Pope Leo XIV's election, who should have been the next pope?
How likely are the Empty Pitchers to finish the 2025 softball season with a winning record?
If the Town of Wethersfield decided to build the EPs a domed softball stadium at Cove Park, what should it be called?
Pop Quiz: Without checking the internet, can you name the daughter and rightful heir of the late King Viserys I on HBO's House of the Dragon?
If Quentin Tarantino was an Empty Pitcher, which of the following would be considered his best film?
Our new shirts are awesome (thanks, Jae), but could they be even better? Which of the following features would you most want on our NEXT new shirts?
Which 2024 Hollywood movie about the Empty Pitchers would you most want to see?
How likely are the Empty Pitchers to finish the 2024 softball season with a winning record?
It's been a crappy season: 8-15 record, and much worse, we lost our dear friend Chris. But let's try to be optimists. What was the BEST thing to happen in our 2023 season?
When it comes to square-cut pizza, which pieces do you prefer?
Okay, let's start some fights. Who's the best couple on the Empty Pitchers? [Note: BOTH parties must have played in a game THIS season.]
Long-time New York Yankees radio announcer John Sterling is famous for his personalized home run calls. Which of the following would be his best call for a female EP following her next homerun?
If the Empty Pitchers survived a plane crash in the wilderness of Western Canada (a la the show "Yellowjackets"), who would we definitely NOT eat first?
Which 2023 Hollywood movie about the Empty Pitchers would you most want to see?
Let's face it ... Empty Pitchers is a funny name. But it's not the funniest! Which of the following 100% REAL Minor League Baseball team names is your favorite?
How likely are the Empty Pitchers to finish the 2023 softball season with a winning record?
What's your favorite Disney song featuring an EP player?
What's the best thing about November?
With Halloween coming up soon, which of the following EP candies would you most want in your trick-or-treat bag?
What's your favorite movie with a "hidden" Empty Pitcher in the title?
Which is the best nickname of an Empty Pitchers player?
In your next Empty Pitchers' game, would you rather:
EPs are good people who would never do wrong. But purely hypothetically speaking, which of the following ULPTs (Unethical Life Pro Tips) would YOU be most likely to engage in?
Which 2022 Hollywood movie about the Empty Pitchers would you most want to see?
How likely are the Empty Pitchers to finish the 2022 season with a winning record?
So what's the REAL reason why Major League Baseball experienced a lockout this off-season?
Seriously, though, did you ever really think that you'd be alive in the year 2022???
And now that you've done the things from last month's poll question as well as the previous month's poll question, what are you going to do now?
Now that you've done the things from last month's poll question, what are you going to do now?
Now that our softball season is over, what are you going to do with all this extra free time?
If M. Night Shyamalan was an Empty Pitcher, which of the following would have been his best film?
If the Empty Pitchers collectively appeared in Saturday Night Live's "Celebrity Jeopardy!" skit, which of the following would be our strongest category? (Be sure to read the options in a Sean Connery accent!)
Should I even bother to do a new poll question for this month?
In this age of mistruths and conspiracies, which of the following "conspiracy theories" is your favorite?
Which 2021 Hollywood movie about the Empty Pitchers would you most want to see?
How likely are the Empty Pitchers to finish the 2021 season with a winning record?
The movie unofficially titled "Indiana Jones 5" is in production and due to be released in July 2021. In light of this, which of the following would be the biggest movie about the Empty Pitchers battling Nazis in Wethersfield?
If Stephen King played for the Empty Pitchers, what would be his best-selling book?
What would a TV show about the Empty Pitchers be called?
If the Empty Pitchers got to rename a U.S. holiday in 2021, what would it be called?
Week 4: With the darkness of winter coming on, how about some levity? Here are some Stephen Wright quotes - choose your favorite!
Week 3: With the darkness of winter coming on, how about some levity? Here are some Stephen Wright quotes - choose your favorite! (10 new quotes next week!)
Week 2: With the darkness of winter coming on, how about some levity? Here are some Stephen Wright quotes - choose your favorite! (10 new quotes next week!)
Week 1: With the darkness of winter coming on, how about some levity? Here are some Stephen Wright quotes - choose your favorite! (10 new quotes next week!)
Let's say the Empty Pitchers attend a 2020 Halloween party in a group costume. As what should we be dressed?
I know 2020's been difficult, but let's at least TRY to be positive! Find the silver linings! So what has been the BEST thing so far this year?
Which 2020 Hollywood movie about the Empty Pitchers would you most want to see?
If the current pandemic had first been identified in Empty Pitchers players instead of in Wuhan, China, what would have been the most likely media name for the virus?
If ESPN decided to do a "Last Dance"-style documentary about the Empty Pitchers, what would be the most shocking and compelling revelation?
What is the most impressive skill you've learned during your COVID-19 quarantine?
How likely are the Empty Pitchers to finish with a winning record in 2020?
If Dr. Seuss had been an Empty Pitcher, which of the following would be his best-selling book?
In light of Dave Dombrowski's firing as President of Baseball Operations for the Boston Red Sox, who should be the team's next general manager?
Okay, so we found Wayne. Now, where's Bob?
Where is Wayne?
The New York Yankees play Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York" when their games end. What Sinatra song should be played after Empty Pitchers' games?
Which of the following is the biggest 'Oops' of 2019 so far?
Which of the following best describes the color of our EP softball shirts?
Which 2019 Hollywood movie about the Empty Pitchers would you most want to see?
How likely are the Empty Pitchers to finish with a winning record in 2019?
Where should the Empty Pitchers hold Spring Training?
In an alternate reality in which softball never existed, what sport would the Empty Pitchers play every season?
I realize that this question has nothing at all to do with softball, but I'm just curious . . . who's the best Chris in Hollywood?
Which of the following would make the best mascot for the Empty Pitchers?
What would you do if the Empty Pitchers softball team folded?
Which of the following is the funniest "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy?
Which 2018 Hollywood movie about the Empty Pitchers would you most want to see?
Which of these 2018 bold predictions is most likely to come true?
Now that Giancarlo Stanton has been traded to the New York Yankees, what should be the response of the Boston Red Sox?
What will be the scariest Halloween costume this year?
Which was the Empty Pitchers' BEST win of the 2017 season?
The Empty Pitchers have already beaten The Grass Stains three times this season. Why would they ask to play us again this week?
In the spirit of "Yo Mama" jokes: YO' PRESIDENT'S SO DUMB THAT . . .
The Rocky Hill Vets failed to show up for our game on Thursday, August 17th. Why did this happen?
Yell "EMPTY PITCHERS!" right now, no matter where you are. Did anyone ask you why you just yelled that?
As the MLB non-waiver trade deadline approaches, what should the Empty Pitchers look to do?
If our softball league played in "Game of Thrones", for which Westerosi House would the Empty Pitchers play?
Based on these completely unsubstantiated rumors, how tough is Tino?
Which superhero would be the best addition to the Empty Pitchers roster?
Do I know how to properly set up a poll question?
What is the best Ron Swanson quote ever?
How many games will the Empty Pitchers win this season (we are scheduled to play 26 games)?
What Hollywood movie title best sums up Empty Pitchers softball?
Would you rather . . .
Which character from The Walking Dead television show would make the best softball player?
What should be the Empty Pitchers' new year's resolution?
In light of Christmas, what gift would you most want Santa to bring the Empty Pitchers this year?
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, what should the Empty Pitchers be most thankful for this year?
In honor of Halloween, what would be the SCARIEST announcement I could make regarding the Empty Pitchers' 2017 season?

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