GAME REPORTS
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GAME REPORTS - JUNE 11
Red Faces vs Grey Beards
Red Faces Report – Brian Mastervick
Do you recall those frosty days in May? The Red Faces were not that sharp and declared "we are a hot weather team". Thursday was hot. As for the Red Faces, not so much. But now we know we are the goldilocks team. When the weather is just right we will shine.
On the bright side we started to hit the ball. Everyone was at least 3 for 6 which is pretty solid, with Tony, Steve and Brian all going 5 for 7. Thanks to Joe Garcia for coming out as a spare - he played great outfield and went 4 for 6.
Defensively, we are a work in progress, with a couple shining bright. Tony made a great heads-up play to trap a runner going home. With ball in hand he ran at the runner forcing him to the commitment line, and with nowhere to turn the runner conceded the out. With Richard covering the plate another runner was thrown out pushing for home, Richard declared “Not on my watch!”. One more defensive gem was Randy playing right field hitting the cut off, and with the relay to home another runner was sent to the bench shaking his head in disbelief.
Hats off to Bruce Best (one of the oldest guys in the league) for pitching 2 great games and making an infield catch of a popup that hung up forever, which was just enough time for Bruce to move 20 feet, stretch out his arm and secure the out.
And hats off to the Grey Beards who played very well and deserved both victories.
Watch out for the Red Faces. When the weather is just right we will hit our stride.
Grey Beards Report – Dan Cooper
The streak begins!
Well, gentlemen, sound the alarms and notify the league office: the Grey Beards have officially remembered how to win.
After spending the first part of the season generously donating victories to everyone else, the Beards have now strung together back-to-back wins and are suddenly looking less like the league basement dwellers and more like a team nobody wants to face. Coincidence? Maybe. But the arrival of rookie Randy Nunn has many wondering if we’ve found our secret weapon. Since he joined, we’re undefeated. The statistics don’t lie.
On the mound, John Kemp continues to deal like a man half his age, keeping hitters off balance and giving the defence a chance to shine. Speaking of defence, the outfield crew of David Kozai, Simon Everitt, John Drewniak, and Dan Cooper were vacuuming up anything hit their way. Several opposing batters are reportedly still waiting for one of their fly balls to land.
The biggest surprise? The Grey Beards actually caught the ball. Errors, once our most consistent offensive contributor for the opposition, dropped dramatically. The infield of Dan Yaschyshyn, Bill Craig, Bill Manson, Steve Moses and Jim Fenner looked like they had attended a fielding clinic between games. Ground balls were handled, throws were caught, and panic levels remained remarkably low.
At the plate, the bats were alive. Everyone contributed.
The games themselves were perhaps the most entertaining of the season. Admittedly, that may have something to do with the fact that winning is considerably more enjoyable than losing. Still, there was energy, laughter, great plays, and the kind of team chemistry that’s been building all year.
There was one casualty. Dan got his bell rung during the festivities. Fortunately, he’s tough, still standing, and expected to make a full recovery in time to remind everyone about his triple and the unfortunate fate of third base.
The Grey Beards have gone from searching for their first win to suddenly finding their groove. The pitching is solid, the defence is tightening up, the bats are producing, and confidence is growing.
The rest of the league has been warned. The Grey Beards are coming!
Rusty Royals vs White Hairs
Rusty Royals Report – Mike Boyle
Momma said they’d be games like this. Despite Coach K’s stirring pregame speech, the Rusty Royals suffered a quick mercy in the first game. And then they battled their way back to a tie in the second game. Who can figure out this stuff???
The good news is that the first game was over in 40 minutes, which was about 36 minutes too long for the Royals. We scored in the top of the first inning and didn’t get as much as a sniff the rest of the way. We only had 7 hits in the opener against a strong defensive team. Actually, four players of our 12-man lineup only came up to bat once. One of our players actually left after the first game. Perhaps he’d seen enough …
In the second game we made the most of our 13 hits and actually held the hammer going into the bottom of the seventh tied at 6. However, we went out unceremoniously 1-2-3 and couldn’t get a run across to split the day. The good news is the Royals remain the only team to have beaten and now tied the White Hairs. Every other team has been swept.
Among the highlights were four outstanding catches in right field. Dario Pretto made the first two catches then Barny Henderson made the final two catches.
Robert Cookish pitched both games battling the heat. Randy Heinbeker also made some nice catches in the outfield and led the offence with 4 hits. Mike Way had 3 hits and nobody else had more than 2.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
Chapter 77 of Rudy Finds a Way
The Hairs were down 3 regulars and Rudy was bandaged up but managed to hobble to the West diamond. We welcomed Doug (Mus) Stang to fill out our roster.
Koop's Rust Buckets scored one in the top of the first but the Hairs were on their game and put up 14 in the first 4 innings and won in 4 1/2 innings 14-1. Lots of hits including a triple by Mac (yes he hit it a long way). Defensive highlights included Principal O'Neill and Executive Ed in the infield, and a couple of outs at the plate. (When will they learn.) Both teams set a league record for speed of the first game - 40 minutes.
Knowing our primary objective of being first to the bar looked like a lock, one would have thought the Hairs would relax and keep their torrid hitting. One would be wrong. The Hairs battled back from a 4-1 deficit taking a one run lead into the bottom of the 6th. The Hairs’ second game D included some highlight catches from Mus Stang and Detective Dan. Gregarious Andy Prancer Byj contributed some nice plays at 3rd. Koop was overheard saying "Come on you buckets, we can do this!" (Or something like that.) Anyway the game ended 6-6 - a sister kisser.
The Hairs’ favorite number 5 was in full force:
· Rudy got up 5 times.
· 4 Whiteys got 5 hits - Roadrunner Sturm, Morton, Executive Ed, Detective Dan Scott.
· Pinch runners utilized (10 = 5 x 2)
Post game frivolity included a toast to the Beards for their two wins and 5 Whiteys eating salads.
GAME REPORTS - JUNE 4, 2026
Fine Wines vs Grey Beards
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
Lou Gehrig, who was celebrated by MLB earlier this week, was known as the Quiet Hero. So it was only fitting that the Fine Wines' very own version of him stepped up and led the Fine Wines back onto the right track this week. Amid whispers of a potential management change - which was subsequently quelled once the salary and perks became public - one player stepped up and quietly, leading by example, got us back to our winning ways.
That player? None other than Steve (Brooks) Isaacs. First he drove home a run in the third inning, giving us a lead we would not relinquish, and then in the top of the 4th, with the bases loaded and nobody out he turned a nifty double play getting the second out at home plate. The Grey Beards came up empty that inning, Steve finished the game 4 for 4, and we coasted to a 17-10 win. Speaking of quiet leaders - Rob (Dr. Evil) Bentley also helped lead the way on the strength of a 7 for 8, 5 RBI and 4 runs scored performance in the two games.
The offence was definitely back this week as the Cabernaces banged out 7 doubles in the second game and held on to win 15-12 over the tenacious Grey Beards squad. Over the two games we amassed 56 hits including 11 doubles, 2 triples and 2 homers including lofty contributions from Jonathan Kamin with 6 hits, 7 RBI and a homerun, Jeff Palmer with a homer of his own amongst his 6 hits and 5 RBI, while Jeff Francis also had 6 hits including 4 doubles and a triple. Ben Roczniac added 5 hits and 4 RBI. Spot starter George Merrick pitched two fine games and chipped in with 5 hits of his own. Supersub Warren Pantrey, just called up from the Bisons for the day, had 5 hits and started the classic 10-9-6 putout at second base.
A tip of the cap to the Grey Beards and their coaching staff. They play the game the right way. Making it enjoyable for both teams regardless of the outcome.
Grey Beards Report – Bill Craig
They said it couldn't be done. All of the pundits. All of the so-called experts. They looked at this Grey Beards team with our 0-8 record and our -37 run differential and they said we would not break our season-long drought against the powerful Fine Wines. And then, on a beautiful Thursday morning, the Beards strode on to the field with our heads held high, despite being shorthanded and requiring the Wines to provide a catcher. And we showed everyone that the pundits were...um...right again...in dropping two games by scores of 17-10 and 15-12.
The Beards were down early in game one and then, in the third inning, down 4-1, we erupted for five (yes five) runs...all with nobody out. Top of the order...newly installed leadoff man Bill Manson (known on our team as "the Good Bill") singles. John Drewniak doubles. Dave Brinton singles in 2 runs. Bill Craig (somewhat harshly known as the not-so-good Bill) singles. Simon Everitt singles. And Brock Paterson ends the inning with a three-run double up the gap in right-centre. Five runs on 6 straight hits. If this had been the open inning we could have scored 235 runs. By the end of the game, we had written a poem and two songs about that inning.
But the Wines are tough...like a steak in a bad restaurant. They threw six at us in the next two innings to go up 10-6. Newly returned to the lineup, Jim Fenner, doubled to lead off the 5th inning and we scored 4 runs to tie it. It would appear that we found such an outburst tiring and failed to score again as the Wines added 7 more to their total.
The Wines thought they would step on our throats in the top of the first in game two. They plated three. But the inspired Beards responded with a 5-spot to show our mettle. Alas, we only scored one run in the next three innings to get down again. Trailing by 6 in the bottom of the seventh, we rallied and brought the tying run to the plate, but to no avail.
Of note...Steve Moses was brilliant on both sides of the ball with a 5 for 8 day at the plate. He also made (I'm gonna guess) 12 plays in the field at second base, the best of which was a run to his right into short center field to make a back-handed stab of a liner. Good Bill Manson liked batting leadoff as he was 7/8 with three runs scored. Dave Kozai went 5 for 5 in game two. Simon Everitt was 7 for 8 with 4 runs scored. John Kemp pitched very well for us in both games and had the hit of the day. Slow roller up the first base line...John's chugging down the line...first baseman is chugging in to field the ball...pitcher is chugging over to try and field the ball...for a moment, it looked like all three would collide, but John beat it out for a hit...how long did that play take you ask? Two guys celebrated birthdays while the ball was still rolling.
Thanks to Steve Isaacs of the Wines who made a fine play at the plate for us and to Andy Kozai, who finished sparing for the Rec Faces and then came on caught one inning for us and made two good plays for outs at the plate.
We're gonna start winning games soon. Maybe next week???
Red Faces vs Rusty Royals
Red Faces Report – Tom Hunter
A few short weeks ago it was brass monkey weather when the Red Faces dropped a doubleheader to the White Faces in a hypothermic war of attrition. Avid readers will recall this columnist’s theory that since the Red Faces are not a cold weather team they must be a warm weather team. Nope. The first hot day of the season saw the Red guys get mercilessly mercied in Game One in 5 short innings, followed by a more traditional loss in Game Two.
For the second week in a row 5 regular Faces were missing from the lineup. Thanks to Randy Dake who courageously played despite being injured. Spares Paul Pachenco (playing his first game in the OMMSPL) and OMMSPL alumni and speedster Andy Kozai bravely stepped into the breach. Andy made an impact early in Game One. Randy Heinbecker of the Royals, famous for his line drives, drilled one directly into right centre field where Andy eagerly awaited a chance to demonstrate his blazing speed. Which he did, running like a gazelle straight toward the oncoming missile. One wag later said that it brought to mind the famous line in John Candy and Steve Martin’s 1987 classic Planes, Trains and Automobiles …”YOU’RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!!” Andy came to that realization about the same time as the ball sailed 10 feet over his head. After that unfortunate miscalculation the not-so-rusty Royals adopted a strategy of incessantly hitting the ball all over the field, thus tiring out the defenders and making them too tired to hit on those rare occasions they came up to bat. Game One set a new OMMSPL record for brevity, ending at 10:20 am. Someone suggested that we forfeit Game Two and go the pub for brunch.
Game Two was more respectable. The Royals were a little less superhuman and actually made some outs. In one particularly memorable inning they tried to pick on Kim Warren in left field but Kim sucked up three long fly balls like a vacuum cleaner. Paul Pachenco pitched well and might have earned a victory if only the Faces’ batters (including this columnist) could have made a few timely hits with runners in scoring position.
Bruce Best and manager Brian Mastervick led the offence (such as it was), each going 4-6. Vince Moffatt maintained his lofty OBP, going 2-4 with 2 walks. Leadoff Denis Bosc was 4-7. The rest of us sucked.
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
First there was Inchiro, then there was Okamoto and Murakami, now there is Dario Pretto. Pretto refined his skills in Japan throughout the month of May, and missed the season's first five games. He is now back. In game one he went 4 for 4, scored three times and drove in four. Sharing his oriental learning with his teammates, many others also excelled. Randy Heinbecker was also 4 for 4 and scored four runs too. Darrell Northcott had three hits and four RBIs, Geoff Coulson back from his holiday was 3 for 3, as was Richard Grudzinski. Mike Way, Don Brown, John Koopman, the ageless Barny Henderson and Tony Lima were all 2 for 3. Rob Cookish pitched a complete game and the Rusty Royals mercied the Red Faces 15-3 in game one.
The nefarious implications of trans-Atlantic travel began to show in game two as jet-lagged Pretto was "only" 1 for 2 (plus a walk). Others though picked up the slack. Don Brown's bat was back to his historic booming levels as he went 3-4, as did Grudzinski. Geoff Coulson was 4 for 4. Mike Way hit a round-tripper. The game's highlight might have been Barny Henderson's shoe-tip catch in RF in the bottom of the seventh when the Red Faces were clawing their way back and had the go-ahead run at the plate. The ever-modest Barny said he owed it all to lessons received from a former teammate in bantam ball, some dude named Ty Cobb. Final score was Rusty Royals 11, Red Faces 9.
GAME REPORTS - MAY 28, 2026
Grey Beards vs. White Hairs
Grey Beards Report – Don Yaschyshyn
Finally it was a great morning to play ball. Unfortunately the Grey Beards continued their losing ways by dropping both games of their doubleheader.
In the first game, 4 errors in the 1st inning led to the White Hairs scoring their 5 runs. In the home half of the inning the Grey Beards responded with 2 of their own. Game On! Wrong. The White Hairs continued to pound the ball enroute to a 16-4 mercy while the Greys didn’t do much offensively or defensively. On the positive side Don Y was 3/3 while Bill M and Steve M were 2/2. Also, shortstop Bill S was perfect on all his throws to first.
Game 2 was a much better effort by the Greys but still came up on the short end of a 15-10 score. We were much better defensively but the White Hairs’ bats were on fire. The Greys hurt their chances big time by falling to capitalize in 2 straight innings with bases loaded and 0 outs. Offensively, Bill M completed a perfect day at the plate going 4/4. Dan C was also 4/4. Bill S and Dave K were 3/4.
The good news is we play again next week in our search for that elusive first win.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
The Hairs faced the Grey guys (less their speedster Slick Brancier) on a beautiful Thursday morning. In game one, dare I say the White Knights got off to a great start putting up 13 in the first three as they cruised to a five-inning win 16-4.
Five seemed to be the Hairs’ preferred number. Scott Sinclair declared five for an over and under wager. We'll need to put some ground rules in place for future props. There were however a number of significant accomplishments around the number 5:
• 5 Hairs triples on the day - one each by Prancer Byj, Roadrunner Sturm, Linus O'Neill, Morton and Greg, I don't need a pinch runner, Macaulay.
• 5 Hairs with 5 hits - Prancer, Mac, Morton, Detective Dan Scott and Principal Linus (Sunshine Shell and Sinclair had 6 each)
• Hairs scored in 5 innings of both game one and game two
• 5 members of the Hairs who made their living in Education - Professors Byj and Roadrunner Sturm, Principal O'Neill, Sunshine Shell, and Morton (Training Manager for 7 years). It's amazing the things you find out over a beer at the Pump.
Guiness Fratia had quite a day too. He tried to explain why sometimes he bats left and sometimes he bats right - unfortunately I couldn't follow his logic. Tony, and the best 3rd base coach in the league Al King, had a special relationship on the day - almost like a father and son. Tony's running antics once on 3rd had Al doing his best to calmly teach his young runner some baserunning fundamentals.
Detective Dan Scott had his best two games of the season with several nice catches in LC. Prancer's expressive utterances kept the Hairs in stitches.
At the end of the day, the Hairs found a way to win 2 more.
Fine Wines vs. Red Faces
Red Faces Report – Vince Moffat
Well, the Red Faces were fresh off their bye week and ready to take on the big bats of the Wines. When looking at the roster on Thursday morning, we were missing quite a few players. Special thanks to John Stang for driving all the way in from Niagara Falls, and Mike Mozewsky from Kitchener, who completed our 11 man squad. There was a fairly strong northwest wind, which was swirly as well and made it a bit tricky for the outfielders. Right off the bat, Kim Warren made a great catch in left field, looking directly into the sun. Manager Brian Mastervick was on fire at rover and completed all three outs in two different innings. The Wines were slightly ahead for most of the game but in the late innings, Brian hit a two-run home run to tie the score. The game ended with two scoreless innings and ended in a 4 to 4 tie.
In game two, it looked like it was going to be another low scoring game. There was great defence from both teams with virtually no errors. In the third inning, Vince Moffatt made a double play by himself, tagging a runner and throwing another out at first. In the fourth inning, Ken Baker made a spectacular run-saving catch to end the inning. The Red Faces led for much of the game, but the Wines continued to nibble away to keep the score close. In the fifth inning, Kitchener Mike made a pivotal throw from third to Rick Wilcox at home for the out and end the run scoring threat of the Wines. The Red Faces scored one additional run in the sixth inning, and the game ended quickly with a 5 to 3 win.
For the day, notable at bats were Vince Moffatt, Tony Foscarin and Brian Mastervick each with four hits out of six at bats, and Kim Warren had three hits and a walk.
Everyone was pretty pleased, taking three out of four points. The games were played very quickly and the players were able to head to the Pump for refreshments by noon.
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
In the humble opinion of this writer, two of the greatest hitting seasons in the modern baseball era were Ted Williams' .406 average in 1941 and Rod Carew's .388 season in 1977. In today's game it's highly unlikely either of those seasons ever get matched. Unless of course we're talking about the vaunted Fine Wines offense. This week we managed to match both, hitting .406 in the first game and .388 in the second game. Quite the remarkable achievement. Except when you're playing slow pitch softball...
Here are this week's hitting highlights: _________
On the positive side, our defense was absolutely stellar, especially the infield - backing up some fine pitching by Rick Halik - while holding the Red Faces to 4 and 5 runs in the two games. Jonathan Kamin made some outstanding plays at 1B while Jeff Francis, Steve Isaacs, Drew Leblanc, Ben Roczniak all had their hand in many solid plays. George Merrick invoked memories of Tony Oliva by playing 9 positions on the day. Jeff Palmer, making a cameo appearance in game two, also chipped in from the rover position while going a perfect 2 for 2. Continuing with the positivity, we did manage to eke out a 4-4 tie in the first game before dropping the second game 5-3. Four players combined for 50% of our hits on the day: Jeff Francis with 4, Rob Bentley, Drew Leblanc and Slammin' Sammy Hsu with 3 apiece. Rumour has it that management has scheduled a 5:00 am BP session for next Thursday...
GAME REPORTS - MAY 21, 2026
Grey Beards vs. Rusty Royals
Grey Beards Report – Mark Brancier
Mamma said there would be days like these.
Game one saw the Beards jump out to an early lead, and after 2 innings we were up 3-1. We were moving in the right direction but the pesky Royals just wouldn’t go away. After 6 innings the Beards were still hanging onto a 6-5 lead and visions of their first win within hand. I’m not sure but I think I heard Barny Henderson of the Royals say “not so fast“ … and sure enough the Royals put up 5 runs and won the game 10-6.
Game 2 was a repeat of game 1 and we lost.
The good news is the Grey Beards are the best 0-6 team in the League.
Highlights were John Drewniak with 2 outstanding catches in left field and a triple at bat.
John Kemp and Bill Manson both pitched very good games.
There were many stellar defensive plays but we came up just a little short.
Rusty Royals Report – Mike Boyle
We won. Twice even. We were more surprised than the Grey Beards …
Coach K came to the game pumped with words of encouragement. Despite losing badly in both ends of the doubleheader the week before, he saw glimmers of hope to right the ship. His encouraging words … “Hey Guys, be nice to win one today.”
What a concept.
The Rusty Royal boys took those words to heart and with a five-run seventh inning held on for a 10-6 win. And then just to prove the opener was no fluke, the boys won 11-9 in the second game to win both ends. Satisfied with the results, Coach K gave the boys next week off.
The key to both wins was the middle infield defence of Darrell Northcott, Mike Way and Richard Grudzinski which didn’t allow many balls through as well as making a lot of key outs.
Offensively, the Royals were led by Randy Heinbecker with six hits. Darrell Northcott, Richard Grudzinski and Mike Boyle added five hits apiece. Robert Cookish, Coach John Koopman and Mike Way added four hits each. Mike Canham pitched very effectively in the opener, shutting down the Grey Beards in the seventh inning just after the Royals had grabbed the lead. Robert Cookish went the distance in the second game.
Fine Wines vs. White Hairs
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
The Hairs roster, fortified by the addition of Scott Sinclair, gathered for the first time on Glenashton East. We'd heard a lot about the offensive ability of the Cabarnets. Undeterred, the Hairs decided to play the twin bill.
Both Managers, Morton and Sparky Sanscartier, were a bit frazzled to start the day having each forgotten to bring their crafted lineups to the park.
Game one was close until the fifth inning. Down 8-7, the Hairs put up 14 runs over the next 3 at bats to cruise to a 21-8 win. Post game chatter indicated the outcome was generally considered an upset.
Mac pitched another stellar game. The Hairs’ defense was led by Road Runner Sturm and Rudy always finds a way Gauer, and infielders new first baseman Guiness Fratia and Ed Linz.
Game 2 saw Rookie Sinclair take the mound. Playing with a 1:1 count for the first time ever, Scott's expression was difficult to read - he was either smiling or had gas. Scott proceeded to pitch an outstanding game and got the W. Mac, now the self-proclaimed league leader in saves, closed things out in the 7th.
The 2nd game's highlight may have been Prancer Byj burning his mentor Sparky for an inside the park home run. All the lads contributed with 12 of 13 players accounting for at least one of the 30 runs scored on the day.
9 of the 13 Whiteys contributed at least 4 hits on the day, including - Headmaster O'Neill, Morton, Mac, Roadrunner, Detective Dan, Sunshine Schell, Guinness, Gord Shields and Blair/Darryl Roblin. It's true - hitting is contagious.
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
Before each game, presumably a twist on the old "kick ass and take names" idiom, one of the Fine Wines’ players writes the jersey numbers of each player beside their name in the lineup....while the manager and writer of this material relies on his excellent(?) memory and continues to call Bill King... John King. and I don't even watch CNN.
Speaking of memory, I've often been called Rain Man over the years, presumably for my innate ability to remember where every hitter hits. At least I think that's why. This is where another idiom "Once in a Blue Moon" comes into play. As in, "Once in a Blue Moon this batter will burn the outfield". As most people know, a blue moon only occurs every couple of years. Sure enough, May 2026 is one of those months (look it up). Who knew?? Ultimately, one science (observational astronomy) conquered another (statistics and probabilities) and Andy Byj hit a bomb over a player who shall not be named (me) for a sniper-aided inside the park homerun.
As for the double header, the old axiom "good pitching beats good hitting" proved true once again. Coming into this week, on the way to building a 4-0 record, the Fine Wines’ team average was a lofty .683. However, having to hit against both Paul Skenes and Tarik Skubal (at least it felt like that) we hit .431 on the way to scoring 13 runs over the two games which we dropped by scores of 21-8 and 9-5. There isn't a lot to report on the offensive side as only two players - Jeff Francis and Steve Isaacs - compiled 4 hits, while Slamming Sammy Hsu came up with a couple of big hits in his season debut.
The day did feature some fine plays from our side including a couple of fine running catches by Mike Bryant and Bill (not John) King along with a couple of key double plays - the first on a fine throw from the outfield by Jeff Palmer and the other on a classic 6-4-3 double play (Jeff Francis-Drew Leblanc-Jonathan Kamin).
Special thanks to the White Hairs team who set up the diamond even though we were the home team.
GAME REPORTS - MAY 14, 2026
Rusty Royals Report – Mike Boyle
The good news was that Mike Way belted a two-run homer and Rusty Royals put up a four-spot in the top of the first inning of the opener. After that, it was not very pretty the rest of the way. The Royals dropped the first game 18-9 to the Fine Wines and then lost the second game 17-9. The Royals only led for half an inning the entire day.
Alas, at least we have a good idea of how well the Winers can hit because we chased their hits all over the outfield.
There was some good news for the Royals in that it looks like Downtown Donnie Brown has found his swing and drilled the ball on every at bat leading the team with 5 hits. Manager John Koopman also led by example with 5 hits and made some nice plays at the hot corner. Randy Heinbecker went 4-for-4 in the second game including a line drive home run to right. Pressed into full service Mike Canham pitched both games without walking a batter.
The Royals complete the first run through the league next week before getting a week off to regroup!
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
After a much-needed week off the Fine Wines crew was back in action against the not so Rusty Royals. While the temperature was cold (again!) the bats certainly weren't as the two teams combined for 9 runs in the first inning. After spotting the Royals an early 4-0 lead the Cabernet Crushers went on an 18-4 run the rest of the way to take the first game 18-9. They carried the momentum over into the second game getting off to an early 9-0 lead in a game which eventually finished 17-9.
Every player in the Fine Wines lineup had at least 3 hits, scored a run and drove in at least one run over the two games, with George Merrick and Jeff (why run when you can just trot around the bases?) Palmer leading the way with 6 apiece. JP also finished with 3 homers - two over the fence - and 9 RBI in the twinbill, although the real highlight of the day was Rick Halik's impersonation of a school crossing guard as he escorted each and every pinch runner safely to first base. Seven players finished with 5 hits, including Ben Roczniak - who made his season debut after a lengthy off-season holdout - and Dave Morton who added 6 RBI.
The only negative stat for the day was the team's .384 BA (bar attendance). We'll need to work on that in the coming weeks.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
Four years ago, Rudy Gauer was a big contributor to a successful Hairs season. Rudy always has a smile and a quiet demeanor. His outfield defense is steady and he has an uncanny ability to deliver timely hits. Every week in what seems like an eternity ago now, Rudy would find a way to contribute offensively, often in the most unlikely way.
The 2026 Hairs are building on Rudy's legacy of finding a way. In game one, trailing 7-3 in the 6th, the Hairs put 5 on the board to take a slim lead.
In the bottom of the 7th with the score tied Rudy came through with the winning RBI as the Hairs beat the Red guys 9-8.
Game two, the Hairs made a few defensive adjustments with limited success. After reverting to everyone gathering together and throwing their gloves on the ground, the Hairs seemed to turn the corner. Blair "Daryl" Roblin and Gord Shields were both not to be denied on one infield play. Road Runner Frank Sturm made his season debut and contributed several nice catches in Right. Mac pitched well, again, and Exec Ed Linz was solid at the 2 bag. The Hairs hung in and once again put up a 5 spot in the 6th and closed it out in the 7th to win 11-8.
Al, on the season ending IR, King provided outstanding coaching at 3rd.
Everyone contributed a hit but it was the middle of the Hairs order (Linz, Mac, Ian Schell, Tony Fratia and Road Runner) that really found a way to propel the Hairs to the sweep.
The Hairs were first to the bar and were joined by Monaghans alumni Mac for some post game frivolity.
Red Faces Report – Tom Hunter
On a bitterly cold, windy day the Red Faces and White Hairs squared off in a hypothermic war of attrition – which team could survive the wind chill long enough to make it to the pub. At game time the thermometer read 6 degrees and by the conclusion of the contest it had shot up to a balmy 8 degrees. There appeared to be three teams on the field – red jerseys, white jerseys and a lot of black baseball jackets, winter coats, toques and similar garb more suitable for snow shovelling. Just to prove how tough he is Kim Warren showed up in shorts and took the prize for “least dressed”, although it’s also possible that he couldn’t find long pants to fit over the enormous contraption that holds his knee in place.
Both teams had trouble scoring runs in Game One, but the Faces slowly and steadily built a respectable lead entering the bottom of the sixth inning. At which point the Hairs exploded for 5 runs due to a combination of strategic hitting and less than ideal defence by the visitors. Still in shock from this unexpected turn of events the Faces meekly and quickly succumbed in the top of the 7th to lose by a single run.
Game Two was also a closely-fought contest. The Red Faces were down a mere 3 runs entering the bottom of the seventh, but once again failed to overcome the miniscule deficit. (By that time we were probably thinking more about getting to the pub, or anywhere a little warmer.) Game Two included several run-downs and other unusual action between first and second base. In one sequence Bruce Cisterna playing first base bravely (or foolishly?) stuck his foot in front of a line drive which went straight up, bounced in foul territory and spun back in the vicinity of Vince Moffat who had the presence of mind to throw it to first. Kudos to Bruce for ignoring the pain long enough to catch the relay and make the out. In another sequence an exceptionally strong player on the White Hairs who shall remain nameless hit a rare infield popup which landed like a 9-iron into a soft bunker. The alert Faces infield pounced on the ball and rifled it to second in time to tag the runner advancing from first. In the meantime, the Hairs runner on third rashly decided to make a bid for freedom, but a strong throw home ended that adventure. An extremely rare double-play involving the aforesaid nameless player. It didn’t remove the sting of losing two games, but was satisfying nonetheless.
Steve Craig led the Faces’ offense going 6 for 6 including a triple. Tony Foscarin stayed hot, going 5 for 6. Brian Mastervice was 3 for 5 with a walk, and Tom Hunter, Al Ouwendyk and Bruce Cisterna were each 4 for 6.
Manager Mastervick provided a pithy summary of the day… “I guess we’re not a cold-weather team”. Logic would suggest that we must be a warm-weather team. We’ll find out after the bye week.
GAME REPORTS - MAY 7, 2026
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
Won 12-7 and lost 8-6
The season opener is always a special day. It doesn't matter if it's cold, if you were out late the night before, or if your spouse is upset and you can't understand why. (2 of 3 are true)
The Hairs were excited to play. Rookie Blair Roblin, first to the park, was raring to go. I arrived to see him doing wind sprints - even before the parks crew had groomed the diamond. Blair is now officially part of the diamond setup crew.
The Home squad Royals sauntered in to find the diamond set up and BP ready to begin.
The Hairs and Blue Jays have only one thing in common - the squads are decimated by injuries/personnel issues. Missing Frank RexWheels Sturm, Al on long term IL King, Ted I'm still working Wiedra, and Ian Schell (extended spring training in Florida), the Hairs welcomed spare Kirby Macinnis.
Facing a tough pitching duo of Canham and Robert 4 foot Cookie, the Hairs had a few swings and misses. Clearly the White knights need to work on maintaining contact with the base. The team will vote on a penalty for these infractions and there is a slight chance we'll be implementing something involving post game beverages. (Speaking of the post game, the Hairs narrowly beat the East teams to the Pump, thus achieving the team's primary goal.)
Game one the Hairs shook off the Rust and put up a 12-7 win.
Game two the Hairs had trouble connecting with pitcher Gregg Macaulay as several throws to our expressive pitcher missed the mark - some were wide and some were influenced by mobility issues. Anyway, the Hairs kind of sucked the hind one in game two. Down 5-1 in the bottom of the sixth, the Whiteys rallied with 2 out to score 5 and take a 6-5 lead. Defensive miscues and timely Royals hitting in the 7th put the Royals up two. In the bottom, with the tying run on base the Hairs petered out and lost 8-6.
Defensively Andy By, Linus O'Neill and Mac were stellar. Every Hair got at least one hit, led by Greek God Linus and Morton with 6 each and Young Andy and Exec Ed Lincz with 5 each.
It's great to be back playing!
Rusty Royals Report – Mike Boyle
The Rusties drew battle with the White Hairs in the home opener for the Hairs. Always good hosts, the Royals dropped the opener with early-season defence a factor and then built a lead and clung on for dear life to win the second game.
The Royals definitely improved defensively in the second game. I mean, it was hard not to. In any event, pitcher Robert Cookish was like a gazelle on the mound pouncing on a softly hit ball to his left and getting the out to end the second game and preserve the win. Mike Way also made a number of nice plays at rover, throwing out runners at second and first to limit the baserunners.
At the top of the order Randy Heinbecker (5-for-7) and Geoff Colson (6-for-7) created headaches for the White Hairs running around the bases with reckless abandon as well as catching everything hit to LF and LCF. Reliable Mike Canham pitched the opener and also pitched in with four hits. Also adding four hits were Mike Way, Doug Hyland, Robert Cookish and Barny Henderson.
Grey Beards Report – Chris Barrett
On a cold but sunny morning, the wayward Grey Beards started slowly vs the Red Faces. We did come on late in the game, but we were left Red Faced losing 14-13 in the bottom of the 7th.
The offense was led by dangerous Dan Cooper – home run and a double in his 3 hits. Don Y (too difficult to spell or pronounce) was 3 for 3 as were John Kemp and Steve Moses. Bill Mason and Bill Craig were 2/3. Should have been enough, but our defense could not back up John K’s pitching.
Game 2, sun went in as did our defense again. We were able to post 12 runs but gave up 13. Bill Manson was 4/4 and Simon Everitt was 3/3. Don Y, John Drewniak and Brock Patterson were 3/4 and should have been enough as Bill pitched a strong game.
Our team needs a bye week to rest and get off the schneid with four close losses.
Red Faces Report – Tom Hunter
They say that fortune favours the brave. However, in the OMMSPL fortune seems to favour the lucky. The Red Faces used more than their allotted quota to eke out two victories over the unlucky Grey Beards by the slimmest of margins – one run in each game.
Veteran pitcher Bruce Best got the Red Faces got off to a great start in game one, retiring the first three Beards on 4 pitches. The Faces were slow to take advantage until the bats finally came to life in the middle innings. Down by 2 runs entering the bottom of the 7th, the home town Faces quickly scored twice to even the score. With first base open and only one out, wily Beards shortstop Don Yacschysyn tabled a motion that the Beards walk the batter to set up a potential game-ending double play. After a lengthy board meeting the motion was adopted. It almost worked, but the runner at third managed to scamper home safely to give the Red guys a 14-13 walkoff victory.
The Red Faces are still showing some early season rust. Two Faces were guilty of stepping off the bag in anticipation of the batter making contact, but both had reasonable excuses. One was a rookie who wasn’t aware of the prohibition, and the other was a veteran who made a reasonable assumption that a massive swing by manager Brian Mastervick would produce some sort of result. Another unusual gaff occurred when the first pitch of an inning was delivered at the umpire’s request, despite two outfielders sauntering out to their positions with their backs to the action. The crack of the bat alerted them to the incoming missile, but alas it was too late for an interception.
The play of the day was orchestrated late in game 2 by wily veteran and wounded baserunner Tony Foscarin. Running (to put it charitably) from first after a well-hit ball to the outfield Tony hobbled his way around second, limped slowly into third, and paused for a breather. Or so it appeared. The Beards were a tad slow returning the ball to the infield, perhaps assuming that Tony had no further capacity or motivation to proceed further. “What the hell…” thought Tony, “I might as well go home” so off he hobbled to score what turned out to be the winning run in a 13-12 victory. First documented use of the sleeper play in the OMMSPL.
Offensive highlights included the aforementioned Tony Foscarin who in addition to his baserunning trick went 7 for 7 at the plate.
GAME REPORTS - APRIL 30, 2026
Fine Wines Report - Dan Sanscartier
And.... we are back. What a whirlwind off-season. The Fine Wines’ ownership group was clearly unimpressed with our second half surge in 2025 and proceeded to do the obvious. Fire the whole team...except the manager??? I guess Ted Lasso wasn't available. Hopefully they don't find out about Cora and Thomson...
All that aside, there was some ball to be played on this cold, grey spring day. The new look Fine Wines team came out slugging - putting up 18 runs on 26 hits on their way to a relatively stress-free 18-9 win. The top of the order, led by rookie Mike (I'm hitting leadoff?) Bryant, combined to go a nearly perfect 17 for 18 with a sac fly and walk tossed in while scoring 14 runs and driving in another 12. The aforementioned Bryant, along with Jonathan Kamin, each scored 4 times while going a perfect 7 for 7 with a walk. Jeff Francis and Jeff Palmer also combined to go 7 for 7 while driving in 8 and George Merrick drove in 3 more on the strength of a 3 hit game. Rick Halik was solid on the mound and held the Grey Beards at bay to secure the win and Dave Morton chipped in a couple of hits while playing a super utility role.
The second game looked more like last year's version of the Fine Wines. Employing the old rope-a-dope technique in allowing the Grey Beards to wear themselves out while jumping out to an early 8-1 lead. The Sangiovese sluggers chipped away and eventually eked out a 13-10 win. The score would have been higher except for a sensational over-the-shoulder grab by rookie Grey Beard outfielder John Drewniak - robbing Jeff Francis of a potential inside the park grand slam. It might be the best catch we'll see all year.
Drew Leblanc set the pace by scoring in his first two AB's and driving in 2, while Steve Isaacs capped a 5 run rally with a booming double in the 2nd inning. Bill King added 2 RBI to finish with 5 RBI in the twin bill and Rob Bentley was 3 for 3.
Grey Beards Report - Jim Fenner
A Blustery Beginning: The Grey Beards’ Season Opener Saga
The 2026 senior men’s slopitch season began with all the warmth and comfort of a January car battery. At Glenashton West, the wind was blowing sideways, the outfielders were shivering, and several players were overheard wondering aloud whether frostbite counted as an RBI.
Game 1: The Fine Wines Uncorked, The Grey Beards… Decanted Slowly
The Grey Beards took the field looking sharp in uniform but slightly less sharp in execution. Call it rust, call it stiffness, call it “I definitely should’ve stretched more than 11 seconds” — whatever it was, the Fine Wines took full advantage.
While the Grey Beards’ bats were politely tapping the ball around like they were afraid to wake it, the Fine Wines were swinging like they’d been practicing all winter in a heated dome with personal trainers and motivational speeches. Momentum? They had it. Runs? They had those too. By the end of seven innings, the scoreboard read: Fine Wines 18 — Grey Beards 9
The Grey Beards, to their credit, took it in stride. Several players noted that at least no one pulled a hamstring (how is that Achilles tendon, Don?) which in early spring counts as a moral victory.
Game 2: The Comeback That Almost Was
Something changed between games. Maybe it was pride. Maybe it was adrenaline. Maybe it was the collective realization that they’d already paid the league fees and might as well play better. Whatever the spark, the Grey Beards came out swinging.
Offense: Alive and Well
The bats woke up, the lineup produced top to bottom, and the highlight of the day came courtesy of Dave Brinton who legged out an inside the park home run. Witnesses say he was moving so fast that the wind chill around him dropped another three degrees.
Defense: Suddenly Sparkling
The gloves were snapping, the throws were crisp, and the Grey Beards turned two double plays, which in senior slo pitch is the defensive equivalent of spotting a unicorn. In the outfield, John Drewniak and Dave Kozai made catches so impressive that even the wind paused to admire them. And of course, John Kemp pitched both games — a heroic feat that deserves applause, a medal, and possibly a warm compress.
Final Score: A Nail Biter
Fine Wines 13 — Grey Beards 10
A much tighter game, a much stronger showing, and a clear sign that once the weather warms up and the joints loosen, the Grey Beards will be a force to reckon with.
Red Faces Report – Tom Hunter
A light, almost imperceptible rain drifted through the cold early morning air. Several figures appeared in the gloom and approached the visitors’ bench. “Is this spring training camp for the Red Faces?” one cautiously asked. “Half right” responded manager Brian. “This is the Red Faces, but it’s not spring training. This is THE SHOW!”. And so began the summer-long grind toward the mastery of the OMMSPL regular season, and dare we say it, the OMMSPL playoff championship.
With a league-record five rookies in the lineup the Faces have their work cut out for them. Manager Brian inspired his troops with a rousing pre-game speech… “Have fun and don’t get hurt”. A pretty good option if we ever want a new league motto.
In game one the Faces got off to a quick start by scoring 3 in the top of the first. It would be their last lead of the day…until the penultimate inning of game two. The Royals took the opener 14-12 and threatened to do the same in game two, leading by a single run late in the game. But the Red guys eked out 2 runs in the bottom of the 6th and slammed the door in the top of the 7th to snatch an improbable 14-13 victory.
The Faces’ defence was decent for opening day. In other words it sucked, but not as much as on other opening days. Rookies Bruce Best and Al Ouwendyk pitched well and can’t be blamed. The offense was surprisingly good, and remarkably consistent. Denis Bosc was a perfect 7-7 at the plate and Steve Craig was 5-7. Eight Faces were 4-7 and the remaining two were 3-7. The future looks bright.
Special thanks to Brian’s wife Ryn (and her little dog too) for scorekeeping and statistics.
Special thanks also to the players on both teams, and umpire Howie, who searched for (and found) the hearing aid which Barney Henderson of the Rusty Royals somehow misplaced during one of his many sprints to first base. Slow down Barney – those things are expensive!
Rusty Royals Report – Mike Boyle
The Rusty Royals were ably named on Thursday as they royally knocked off a winter’s worth of rust in splitting the doubleheader versus the Red Faces.
Credit goes to the infielders who endured an unraked diamond with numerous strange hops and inconsistent rolls — all without injury!
The Royals started like a house on fire running up a 13-7 lead after just three innings and it was looking like a runaway. However, the pesky Red Faces gnawed their way back into the game scoring three in the top of the seventh before trusty pitcher Mike Canham induced the last out to preserve the win!
The second game was characterized by some timely two-out hitting. All the Rusty Royals runs were scored with two out, and three of the four rallies started with two out. Coach Koopman is considering telling everyone there’s two out no matter the situation …
Alas, the Royals were blanked in the last two innings and lost 14-13.
Leading the charge for the Royals was Darrell Northcott with seven hits and 5 RBIs. Mike Boyle had 6 hits and 5 RBIs, and Mike Canham had 6 hits and pitched well in the opener. Mike Way had 5 hits and 5 RBIs while youthful Barny Henderson, who barely qualifies by age to play in the league went 5-for-7 and played flawlessly in the field. Randy Heinbecker laced a home run in the second game while John Koopman hit a bases-loaded triple to narrow the gap. Robert Cookish pitched the second game and kept the score close.
Editor’s Note – special thanks to the White Hairs who had a bye week but came to the Pump & Patio anyway! Great to see that all teams were well represented. Due to construction in the patio area most of us had to sit inside the restaurant, but next week we will again have exclusive use of the patio.
August 7, 2025
[Ed. Note – Thanks to all of our talented (and in some cases verbose) reporters for using their ample literary talents to bring a smile to our faces week after week. These are the final game reports this season as our weary reporters need to preserve their energy for the playoffs. Special thanks to John Koopman for using his creativity and optimism (and a few “alternate facts”) to embellish the Rusty Royals’ reports out of necessity.]
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
Well folks this is it, the last report of the season and not a minute too soon as this rather verbose writer was running out of typewriter ribbon for his IBM model D.
While there wasn't a lot at stake for these two teams we thought it best to continue with our Rope A Dope tactic, which you all know was made famous by Muhammad Ali back in 1974. Sure enough, we kindly allowed the Blue Pills team to get out to an early lead in order to tire them out the rest of the way. However, by the time the 7th inning rolled around we went with the Roberto Duran No Mas (1980, vs Sugar Ray Leonard) plan and by the time the game was done the only thing we wore out was Al Stokes' abacus and we *think* the final score was 22-7 for them.
In keeping with the boxing theme there was one KO in the first game. Chuck Brown (some people never learn), fell prey yet again to the grassy knoll in right center and went down harder than the Dow Jones after a tweet from unowho. Just how many snipers are out there anyway?
In game two, speaking of never learning, we again opted for the Rope A Dope tactic and sure enough fell behind early 7-2. However, this time it paid off as we scored 14 runs over the next 4 innings and eventually won 18-8 over a clearly worn out Blue Pills team.
Ken Cullum got on base 7 times and Randy Heinbecker & Ed Lincz each had 6 hits to lead the Powerful Pinots’ offense over the two games. Al Stokes & Barny Henderson, as they have done so often this season, keyed a couple of big rallies while also contributing with the gloves. Tony Lima made a couple of fine plays at third and there were a couple of highlight reel plays by Randy Heinbecker and Andy Kozai in the outfield, but the play of the game was from shortstop Steve "Ozzie" Devoe who laid out to turn a sure single into an out at second.
Mike (“I drove all the way from New Hamburg and nobody gave me gas money”) Mozewsky came out of retirement to sub in for us and had a fine day at the plate and in the field. Lastly, our thanks to Bruce Locke, the RBI machine, for showing up early every week to get the equipment out and the bases and screen set up. He won't have to do it often in the playoffs but probably will anyway.
Blue Pills Report – Rick Buchan
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times for the Blue Pills..... sorry that was last week's AI-generated report.
But seriously, the Pills and the Fine Wines split a pair of Jekyll and Hyde-type games at GA East. The boys in blue came out firing in game one and built up a 10-3 lead enroute to a 23-7 win. Shortstop Willi Thurner had the hot bat, going 6 for 6 with 5 runs scored and making a stellar over-the-shoulder catch in short left field. Third baseman Tony Foscarin duplicated that same catch a couple of innings later. Ron V. got the win on the hill.
Pills had it going early in game two with a 7-2 lead only to have the Wines come storming back with several multiple-run innings. There was a scary moment mid-game when Pills' infield rover Ben Roczniak took a hard grounder off his nose and blood was spilled in the second base area. Ben stayed in the game with a spare fielder's mask but the Pills wilted in the heat and lost 18-9. Onwards and upwards next week for the first round of the 2025 OMMSPL playoffs!
Red Faces Report – Bill Craig
After dropping five straight games, the Red Faces got back on the winning track and got ready for playoff action with a sweep of the Grey Beards by scores of 14-12 and 12-8.
Game one saw the Faces jump out to an early lead, up 13-3 after 4 innings. Seemed pretty comfortable, but the Beards are a game lot and threw a 5-spot in the 5th, and then, trailing by six entering the bottom of the 7th, put up four runs and had the tying runs at 2nd and 3rd before we got the last out. Both teams played well on both sides of the ball with Dan Scott making a fine running catch in left-centre (those dancer’s hips were really moving) and Richard Grudzinski, Denis Bosc, Brock Paterson and Don Brown leading the offence.
Rick Halik was masterful in game 2, holding the Beards to four runs in the first 6 innings and allowing the Reds to build a 12-4 lead. Again, the Greys showed their mettle, with a 4-run rally in seven before we got the final out for the win. Grudzinski (again), Bosc and Doug Hyland led the offence.
Notably, our infield defence was stellar in both games with Brown, Baker, Grudzinski, Craig and Bosc making a series of leaping catches (I got at least 2 inches off the ground for one of them) and deftly fielding ground balls. Kudos gentlemen and bring on the playoffs!
Greybeards Report – Larry Young
The Greybeards continued to fight hard to get back to their winning ways. Unfortunately we lost a couple of close games once again, dropping the doubleheader with scores of 14-12 and 12-8.
Highlights were Frank Strum coming off the injured reserve list going a stellar 5 for 5 and Robert Cookish going 3 for 4 in game one. Other notable batting stats from game two were Tom Colquhoun and Stephen Issacs going 3 for 3 and Steve Moses and Dave Kozai going 3 for 4.
Defensive play of the day went to Tom with a throw from the outfield that one-hopped to third throwing the runner out by a stride. Fun to watch.
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
Mercifully for the Rusty Royals the regular season has now ended. Despite the great promise that we felt the team had as the season opened in May, it now appears apparent that the Rusty Royals are not a regular season team.
In game one this week the Royals scored only three runs, losing 10-3. We did have one star - Rudy Gauer who in addition to a great catch off the bat of the mighty Morton also had two hits. Both his hits utilized his patented infield backspin to get the ball half-way to the pitcher and then once the pitcher prepares to catch the ball, the backspin takes the ball back to the catcher without ever leaving fair territory. No one else in all of league history has ever been able to do this. Jonathan Kamin and Ted Wierda also had two hits, but the achievements of the rest of us will remain unmentioned.
In the second game the Royals produced 67% more runs and now plated 5. We loaded the bases in the first and second innings with none out, but it led to only five runs. Tom Hunter, Bill Manson, John Koopman had three hits each and Drew LeBlanc played a fine game as a sub, but it was all for naught. We were coming nowhere near the White Hair total of 16 runs.
The playoffs are a whole new season and anything can happen. Let's hope we are playoff team!
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
The Hairs went into the final Regular season DH with one primary goal - reverse the last to the Pump trend and arrive first.
The Royals cooperated in game one by going scoreless in the first 4. The Hairs put up 9 in 4 and cruised to a 10-3 win.
The Royals tried to find holes in the Hairs’ infield. Gold glove Al King was steady and Octogenarian Cummings was a vacuum with a hose to first. Ever helpful Morton tried to warn the Rustys early not to hit it to Rick. Alas, the Royals didn't heed his unsolicited advice. [Ed. Note – does anyone?] Over the two games, Cummings nabbed a couple of liners and at least 10 grounders resulting in rover to first base for the out. Without doubt Rick was the player of the day.
The Hairs took competition to the next level with Magic Mike Boyle and Gold Glove Al King running the bases trying to prove who was faster. Next week the two will participate in a pregame race to settle the debate. The Royals hit several foul balls down the third baseline prompting Magic to declare himself a ball retriever. If only Mike was as efficient going to his left!
Game 2 resulted in a 17-6 victory for the Hairs. Were the Royals trying to make the Hairs overconfident for the playoff rematch next week?
Offensive highlights on the day included Silent Steve Craig's first HR of the season. Mark Mark Palencher and Magic had 7 hits each.
Oh, and by the way, the Hairs were first to the Pump where the beer was cold and the banter continued.
Good luck to everyone in the playoffs!
July 31, 2025
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
It was the best times
It was the worst of times
It was the spring of hope
It was the winter of despair
Game One was the best of times for the Royals. We opened with two runs in the first and followed up with five in the second, two in the third, four in the fourth and singletons in fifth and sixth. Tommy Hunter was 3-4 in the pressure packed lead-off spot, and scored three while still driving in two. Big stick Darrell Northcott, batting tenth due to an administrative miscue, was 3-3 with two runs scored and two RBI. Royal Kaiman, Charles Manson, Dave Walker, Soprano Fratia, Jack Pang, Rudy Grover and John Koopman all had two hits. [Ed. Note – Koop hit a triple to clear the bases, but he's too humble to include that in his game report. It’s worth mentioning as it may not happen again this season, if ever.] So we had lots of offensive firepower, but the game’s hero was Rudy Gauer who made seven or eight caches in right field. The last one to win the game with the tying run at the plate and lots of Blue Pills on the bases was a shoestring catch that left even the Blue Pills awestruck.
Winter follows summer and good times do not last. In the second game Manson pitched great and allowed only six runs. Regrettably the Blue Pills let in none. With the notable exception of Jack Pang who was on fire all day (3-3 in this second game) the rest of us failed to show up. Seven of us were held hitless. No runs does a not win a lot of slo-pitch games...
What is in store next week for the Royals? Over the following week we will focus on Hemingway's masterpiece: "The Sun Also Rises".
Blue Pills Report – Rick Buchan
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times for the Blue Pills against the Rusty Royals on the final day of July, 2025. The worst of times came in game one as the Pills fired blanks for the first four innings and the Rusty hitters cruised to a 13-1 lead. As the word "mercy" was bandied around the dugouts, the Pills' offence finally kicked in with 10 runs in the final 3 frames. All for naught as the Royals won 15-11.
The best of times occurred in game two as pitcher George Merrick and a stingy Pills' "D" blanked the Royals 6-0 for a rare OMMSPL shutout. One highlight was getting out of a bases-loaded jam with none out early on. With the injured Samuel Hsu cheering on the good guys, Pills chipped away and plated 6 runs. Mike Way had 3 clutch RBIs and Willi Thurner legged out a memorable triple only to be stranded at third. George shut the door and some of us limped to the Pump patio where the pints were smooth and food adequate.
[Ed. Note – astute readers may notice that both above game reports use the “best of times, worst of times” concept. That’s a complete coincidence, unless both authors used ChatGPT. In fact, it’s also possible that ChatGPT is responsible for this editorial note, but who would ever know?]
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
The Hairs’ full 12 man roster showed up at Glenashton East in cooler temperatures and with no traffic. Both teams recognized the importance of the games as the pennant was on the line. As the visitors, the Hairs put up a 2-spot in the 1st and then solid D held the Faces scoreless in the bottom of the inning. Following inning 2 the Faces led by 3. The Hairs responded with 10 runs in the next two innings and put together a tidy 17-9 win.
Between games the Hairs discussed having possibly clinched the pennant. Hairs responded with a 7-0 lead after two. One player observed that the Faces looked defeated. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. The Reds put up 12 runs in the next 5 innings and the Hairs went into the bottom of the 7th down 12-8. As this wasn't our first time being down in the last at-bats, the lads kept their composure with the 3 first batters reaching base. Slick Brancier scored on a fielder's choice. Silent Steve Craig smacked a double, scoring one more and leaving the Hairs down 2 with runners on 2nd and 3rd. The Faces’ analytics team intentionally walked go ahead run Octogenarian Cummings to load the bases. Mark Mark Palencher tied the game up with a hit and then with 1st open, the Faces intentionally walked Magic Mike Boyle to load them up again and bring Easy Ian Schell to the plate. Schell delivered a clean single and the Hairs walked it off to win 13-12.
The Hairs hit well on the day with all but one getting at least four hits. Defense was solid for the most part and Slick celebrated achieving a fielding average at some point in game two. Chip Barrett, Magic, Silent and big Dave Brinton all contributed with great defensive plays.
Once again, arriving last at the Pump, 7 of the Hairs shared a table with the Wines while 3 others shared a table with the Royals. Having recently returned from a Blue Nose vacation in Halifax, the attempted "Sociable" cheer was a bit of a lame duck with few others joining in.
Red Faces Report – Bill Craig
As Sonny and Cher so eloquently put it...the Beat Goes On...and unfortunately, the losing beat went on for the Red Faces who lost both to a very good White Hairs squad by scores of 17-9 and 13-12.
Game one started well for the Faces, up 5-2 after 2 innings. But the Hairs kept up a relentless attack and solid defence (I think they turned 2 double-plays) and put 17 on the board to win convincingly. They were good on both sides of the ball and we were not great at the plate or in the field. Kudos to pitcher Rick Halik who threw a good game and along with Donnie Ballgame Brown led our attack with three hits.
Game two was the opposite. The Hairs came out as if their white hairs were on fire and quickly went up 7-0. But the Faces’ bats and gloves came to life and we went to the bottom of the 7th up 12-8. But the Hairs would not be stopped, stringing together a number of sharply hit balls to score five and walk away with the win. Don and Brock Paterson hit well and Ken Baker hit his second triple of the day in a losing cause.
There weren't any particularly funny plays that come to mind, but I am, apparently, contractually obligated to describe the hours-long conversation about Dan Scott's hips. I have to confess that I came into the middle of the conversation, so I don't know the origin. Benefit of the doubt, I'll suggest that we started talking about his hips because there was a slight hip injury? I can't contemplate any other reason to do so. In the end, it was agreed that Dan could be described as having "Dancer’s hips". Which you'd have to admit is better than being described as having "Child-Bearing" hips...or any other kind of hips. So there you have it. Can't wait to see whose body we talk about next week.
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
What a week this was. With all the buzz heading into the trade deadline the Fine Wines’ ownership decided to go the Stand Pat Gillick route and not make any trades. So far it turns out to be a sound strategy as not only did we win two close games (16-13 and 12-9) against the undermanned Grey Beards, we also routed the White Hairs by arriving at the Pump & Patio well ahead of them. Not only did this give us better seats it also gave us a chance to discuss our game summary strategy. It was agreed that only the attendees would get mentioned in our weekly recap. So no, we're not going to mention Randy Heinbecker's 6 for 7, 5 runs scored and 8 RBI performance. Nor are we going to give credit to Al Stokes for his blazing fast triple amongst his 4 hits on the day. Bruce Locke and Ed Lincz each with 5 hits? Not a word. We won't even talk about supersub Joe Garcia who made a couple of fine running catches and chipped in a couple of key hits. Hopefully this will be a lesson for the aforenotmentioned players.
We will however, mention Steve DeVoe's impression of Todd Stottlemyre's infamous chin first slide in the '93 World Series (along with some fine defense). Barny "Elbows Up" Henderson? Absolutely. Not only did he get on base 5 times he also scored 4 runs and, more importantly, kept Chuck Brown (our right center fielder) out of his way. Tony (don't hit the ball to me) Lima, who in spite of his desire to not get any balls hit to him, did, and had a solid day at the hot corner. Andy Kozai, aside from thinking this was the Euro Cup on one play, had his usual strong day including a ton of great baserunning. Ken Cullum, playing in spite of an undisclosed lower body injury, pitched very well in both games. There's no truth to the rumour that our team has sent regular starting pitcher Mike Canham directions to a field in Hamilton for our next games. Maybe…
Grey Beards Report – Steve Isaacs
Location: Millcroft | Weather: Finally not 40+ - a perfect day to play
Game One - Final Score: Fine Wines 16, Grey Beards 13
The highly anticipated match between the Grey Beards and the Fine Wines kicked off with a bang and ended with a whimper — specifically, the sound of gloves missing balls and egos bruising softly in the outfield. Despite missing several key players (presumably out for “rest and recovery,” knee icing, or in one case, a suspiciously long fishing trip), the Grey Beards came out swinging like it was 1998. They scored 5 runs in the first inning, looking less like an aging roster and more like a time machine full of All-Stars.
But alas, this is team sport, and the Beards — true to their name and their philosophy — refused to pad stats while their injured brothers were sidelined. The bats stayed hot, racking up 13 total runs — which, in most recreational baseball circles, should be enough to trigger a mercy rule or at least early beer. But some untimely bobbles and drops allowed the Wines to score every inning, coming away with the win.
Game Two - Final Score: Fine Wines 12, Grey Beards 9
Game 2 of the battle between the distinguished Grey Beards and the fermented finesse of the Fine Wines started out as a tight, low-scoring affair. After four innings, the Wines led 3-2, and both teams looked like they were more interested in getting to the pub before the White Hairs than crossing home plate. But then came the final inning — the kind of inning that makes managers age 5 years and therapists book follow-ups. The Beards, clearly hoping for a comeback, instead watched in horror as the Wines poured out 6 runs like a discounted Merlot on Wing Night. Final score: 12-9 for the Wines.
The Beards disagreed with a few of the umpire’s calls [Ed. Note - the first time in the history of slo-pitch] but the Wines' camp insists they simply played “fundamentally sound slo-pitch.” And to be fair, they did put together two very strong performances. The Beards, ever gracious (and possibly still confused about the count), tip their hats.
July 24, 2025
Blue Pills Report – Rick Buchan
Blue Pills were taken down twice by the league leading White Hairs, 16-13 and 25-14 during a steamy morn at MB West.
Some timely hitting staked the boys in blue to an early 8-1 lead but the Whiteys stormed back with multiple-run innings to claim a 16-13 win. Vince Pileggi was a perfect 4 for 4 at the dish and Mike Way had 5 RBIs for the good guys.
Game two had the Hairs hitting on all cylinders to carve out a 20-10 lead. Pills answered back to avoid being mercied but still lost 25-14. Pileggi was again a perfect 4 for 4 and manager Greg drove in 3 for the offensive highlights.
White Hairs Report – Dave Brinton
The 2025 summer heat didn’t disappoint with a humidex of 43C and very little breeze. Both teams felt every degree of it, especially on the light dirt infield that radiated the heat back at the players and created a difficult and sweaty playing environment. Some of you guys have to up your deodorant game!
In game one the Blue Pills - as their name would imply - had an early and powerful initial surge, taking an 8 to 1 lead after the end of the second inning. However, as I’ve heard just like their namesake, the magic quickly wore off and innings 3 and 4 saw the Blue Pills go limp with back to back zeros, while the White Hairs’ bats came alive with 5 runs in the third and 4 in the fourth, to take the lead 10 - 8 after 4 innings. The Hairs’ defence and their pitching ace John “The Flow” Kemp held the Pills to 2, 2, and 1 run in innings 5, 6, and 7 respectively while scoring an additional 6 runs themselves to take game one with a score of 16 - 13. With zero performance anxiety from the top half of the roster, who scored 11 runs, and with 3 run performances from Chris Barrett, Jeff Morton, and Bill King. Nothing like a comeback win to raise…morale!
The break saw many players heading for the little bit of shade and trying to stay hydrated to beat the heat. The Hairs’ pitcher, John Kemp, took a little respite in the nearby water park, much to the amazement and confusion of children and parents alike, and returned drenched, smiling, and ready to pitch in game two. Let's hope those kids and their parents are okay…
Game two saw the teams tied after the first inning at 4 runs apiece, but the White Hairs' bats rose to the occasion in inning two with 5 runs, and their defence forced the Blue Pills to put up a zero in the third. The Hairs capped the defensive zero with a 5-run fourth, and after four innings the score was Hairs 16, Pills 10. The Hairs never looked back and scored 4 in the fifth and 5 in the 6th, to bring their total to 25. With the exception of a wobbly 6th inning in which the Pills scored 4, the Hairs' stellar defence - with some great outfield plays by “Slick” Mark Brancier, Bill King, and Chris Barrett, and a solid performance by the infield - forced the Pills to two more innings of zero runs scored in the 5th and 7th to end the game with a final score of White Hairs 25, Blue Pills 14. The Hairs had a two-game total of 41 runs and 67 hits.
The top half of the order was strong as expected, led by Chris Barrett who went 6 for 6 for a total of 9 for 10 over the two games and 6 runs! Wow! Right on Chris’ heels were our captain, Jeff “Morty” Morton (6R, 8H) and Bill King (5R 7H), followed by Rick Cummings (4R 5H) and the ever speedy Mark Brancier (3R 4H) whose numbers don’t show his great day on the base pads as lead courtesy runner and his strong outfield performance.
The big story of the day was the bottom half of the order led by our sub outfielder John Drewniak, who went 5 for 5 in game two with a total of 8 hits and 3 runs, and followed closely by newly nicknamed John “Waterpark” Kemp with 7 hits and 4 runs. Combined with his great pitching he was a regular Shohai Otani without the home runs! Ian “Easy” Schell with 7 hits and 6 runs, yours truly with 7 hits and 3 runs including a triple that split and burned the centre fielders, and “Big” Al King with 5 hits and a run. The bottom half of the order actually outhit the top half of the order over both games, with 34 hits to 33, and scored 17 of the Hair’s 41 total runs. On behalf of Ian, Waterpark, Al, John and myself, it felt great to contribute on both sides of the ball today.
With a two-win day the White Hairs are in first place with 34 points and are looking to keep up our winning ways going into the final few games of the regular season and beyond into the playoffs. Our hair may be white but the winning feels right! The post game lunch saw both teams seated together, trading stories, and raising our glasses to each other for a fine morning of slo-pitch. The Blue Pills are a class act and it was an honour to send them to the pharmacy for a refill... :-) What a great league we play in!
Red Faces Report – Brian Mastervick
Thursday's games were pure and simple, a challenge. The Fine Wines played two great defensive games with enough offense to secure 2 wins.
Not to take anything away from the winning team, the Redfaced winer's need to send in a report. Starting off, our all-star set the tone by not even showing up, leaving us with 10 players. Surely he could have showed up just as injured as the rest of us. The Fine Wines kindly lent us a catcher, who outplayed most of the Redfaces defensively. Thank you for the help.
The batting order looked strong? Not sure that's the correct term. Leading off was " sore hammy" followed by " tight groin" no comments. #3 stick was Achilles. I think you get the point. The Redfaced winer's are a little beat up, sore or just old. 6 of the 10 that took the field all volunteered to play the catcher position. The word of the day was “Self Preservation”, which we actually achieved by not adding to our list of injuries.
We play the game because we can? Maybe not so well this time. Everyone rest up, heal up and batter up.
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
Well it's becoming a bit repetitive. Too hot, too cold, too windy, total team effort, Fine Wines winning...etc...etc... Wait what? The Fine Wines winning? Yep, don't adjust your monitors but the hottest team in baseball just swept another doubleheader to run their record to 9-2 over the past 11 games, and after a disastrous 2-9 start their record sits at an exhilarating 11-11, good enough for 4th place in the standings.
Their opponents this week - the Red Faces - were minus their future hall of famer (Bill Craig), and down to 10 starters with several nursing injuries and yet they still put up a valiant effort in game 2 - taking a two run lead into the top of the 7th before the Fine Wines pushed 4 runs across and held on for an 8-6 victory. The first game was not as close - finishing 14-6 in favour of the Sauvignon Sluggers.
Defense was once again the highlight - allowing only 27 runs over the past 5 games - the theme continue today with too many fine plays to mention including turning 3 double plays. The combo of Steve Devoe, Ed Lincz and Andy (this week I'm an infielder) Kozai were flawless up the middle, turning numerous Red Faces hits into outs.
Offensively, Mike Canham led the way with 6 hits and 4 RBI over the two games. Kim Warren, Randy Heinbecker and the ageless Al Stokes each had 5 hits and combined to score 9 runs. Special mention to Brian (does this guy ever make an out?) Mastervick - the manager of the Red Faces - who apart from being a ridiculously good hitter also sets the bar very high in terms of sportsmanship.
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
Harry Chapin, the late great singer song-writer once wrote a song that contained the following lyrics: "what I have done to myself is the only kind of history that matters". So if Jeff Palmer’s review of the game for the Grey Beards notes that the Rusty Royal coach was thrown out at home twice in the first game, accept his account as true, and ask no more questions. It is embarrassing enough already. Royal Kamin had three hits and scored two runs to lead the Royals offensively. On the defensive side we let our pitchers down with regularity, failing to make plays that we should have made. Otis Walker did have a great first game at first base and made some nice snags on ground balls. Rudy Gauer was also his usual steady self netting every flyball within running distance of his perch in RF. The rest of us gained a lot of experience as we went down 12-6.
Game Two was much of the same. We must have a very conservative team. We don't like changing anything. In this game Andy "Mayberry" Byj scored two runs and added a ribbie, Jack Pang was 3-4 (and added a couple of nice snags on rocket line drives to third) and Ted Wierda was 3 for 4. Defensively we were again a touch suspect and went down 16-8.
The Rusty Royals though continue to believe that "the best is yet to come". You can count on us all strutting onto the field next week believing we are invincible and playing because we can.
Greybeards Report – Jeff Palmer
It was another sweltering Thursday morning at Glenashton East, where the Grey Beards and Rusty Royals met for their highly anticipated Battle of the Cellar Dwellers. The Beards’ depleted lineup of 8 regulars was supplemented by spares Mark D and Joe G, along with a rotating catcher graciously provided by the Royals. With the high humidex warning in effect, the teams agreed to play both games with a 1:1 count.
In Game 1 the Royals were threatening with bases loaded in the top of the first until Tom C caught a deep fly ball then proceeded to make a perfect throw to courtesy catcher Rudy at home plate to get Royals cap Koopman, who had tagged up from 3rd. Don Y then made a great stab at 3rd on a rocket by Dave Walker for the final out of the inning. In the bottom half, the Beards made good contact at the plate but each time into the waiting gloves of their well-positioned opponents.
The bottom of the order got things going for the Beards in the 2nd, with Rob B and spares Mark and Joe providing the spark for an early 4-run lead. The teams played well for the most part, as the Royals clawed their way back to tie at 4 in the top of the 4th. In the bottom half, the Beards finally got contributions throughout the lineup to score 5 runs and take what proved to be a commanding lead. The final score was 12-6 for the Beards.
Larry V had great command of his pitches (despite numerous illegal pitch calls by the ump) and managed to keep his pitch count low so that he could pitch the next game as well.
Other plays worth noting included:
· Royals’ fearless leader Koop getting thrown out again at home, this time trying to score from 2nd on a single to the OF;
· several caught fouls and other nice plays made by the courtesy catchers;
· Tom C’s hard slide to 2nd to keep the 5-run inning alive; [Ed. note – at the Pump the umpire graciously admitted that he missed that call – apparently he was dazzled by the slide.]
· the blown 45-second, run-down committed by the Beards when a Royals runner was stranded between 2nd and 3rd after an outfield throw was cut by pitcher Larry; and
· the nice catch made by Rob B to end the game on Koop’s hard-hit fly down the LF line, countering the Beards’ defensive shift toward RF.
In the second game, the bottom of the order again provided the spark for the Beards by scoring 3 runs in the top of the first. After holding the Royals scoreless in the bottom half, the Beards added to their lead in the 2nd, scoring 5 runs with 2 outs after the first two batters had grounded out. The Royals tried to chip away, but the Beards’ defence managed to extinguish any potential rallies, with Mark leading the way with multiple good plays at SS and Larry continuing to pitch with confidence. The Beards added a few more insurance runs to close out the game with a 17-8 victory. Leading the way offensively were Mark with 5 hits and Tommy with 4.
Thanks to the Royals for their sportsmanship in providing gold-glove courtesy catchers and to spares Mark and Joe who made huge contributions both in the field and at the plate (batting .750 combined over the 2 games).
July 17, 2025
Greybeards Report –Don Yaschyshyn
On a windy morning which made pitching very challenging the Grey Beards took on the mighty White Hairs.
In Game 1 the Hairs played a perfect “hit it where they ain’t” game to frustrate the Beardies’ defence. Although the Beards responded several times offensively they fell 19-11.
Game 2 was a much closer affair. The White Hairs held their slim 1-run lead until the 7th when the Beardies took their first lead. Unfortunately they were unable to hold that lead and were on the wrong end of a 14-13 decision.
Leading the team offensively were Dan Cooper, Tom Colqohoun, Don Yaschyshyn and Rob Cookish who were each 5/7.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
The White Hairs returned to Millbank, their former home park, for a pair of games with the Grey Birds. BP was interesting as everyone hit and the Hairs got to work on their fielding unimpeded by the nesting Birds.
Game one was pretty impressive for the Hairs as they showed patience at the plate in very windy conditions. Magic Mike Boyle had key hits, Silent Steve Craig was perfect at the plate and Morton had a 3-run dinger in a comfortable 19-11 win.
The chatter between games focused on not letting up in game 2. Wind was tough and after the first 3 Hairs walked, Flo hit a sac fly, then Mark Mark Palencher, Dave Brinton, Magic Mike and Easy Schell followed with hits to plate five and generate the start we needed. Two innings of scoreless ball and a handful of runs per inning in 4 through 6 saw the Hairs come to the plate down one in the 7th.
Octogenarian Cummings got on base for his sixth time in the twin bill, Slick Brancier ran for him, Flo reached first on a fielder's choice, Morton ran, Mark Mark got his 6th hit and with runners on 1st and 2nd, the Birds insisted they were correctly interpreting the pinch runner rules. With Slick Brancier looking on from the dugout, Brinton hit a grounder to deep 2nd, Morton scored on the bobble and Mark Mark subsequently scored when the throw went into the dugout. Hairs win a walkoff 14-13
Other highlights included 3 Hair Ks (love the free beer, men!), Silent Steve's outstanding running catch of Tom Colquhoun's line drive and then doubling off the runner at 1st and Gold Glove King fighting through shoulder and hand troubles to reach base safely 6 times.
The Hairs showed up last at the Pump to a round of guffaws from the Winers, Faces, Rustys and Pills. All l can say is get ready boys, the Hairs are coming for ya!
P.S. We sat with the Wines and were wowed by Pretty Boy Cullum's recanting of his exploits. None of his teammates disagreed so there must have been a morsel of truth to the tale.
Blue Pills Report – Rick Buchan
The shorthanded Blue Pills took on the first place Red Faces at a windswept Glenashton East and came away with a tie and a "W." Game one was a seesaw affair with the Pills trying to protect a 12-9 lead late, only to see the Red Lads plate five in the top of the seventh to go up by two. Manager Greg Aubert stroked a clutch two-run double to square the affair at 14-14 and that's how it ended. Super spare Ted Gibson led the way with a triple and three runs scored, played right field like a young Kenny Singleton, and generally created mayhem on the basepaths all game long.
In game 2, Ted and Geoff Coulson had the key hits in a five-run sixth inning as the Pills stretched their lead to 12-4. Greg was a perfect 4 for 4 and George shut the door on the mound with some solid "D" behind him in the final two innings. We welcomed Simon Everitt as a full-time player, making several challenging catches in left field and displaying a dangerous bat.
Red Faces Report – Bill Craig
Momma told me there'd be days like this...famous last words. The Red Faces took on the Blue Pills and the Pills came out like they had just ingested...you know...um...Blue Pills. Well, I guess that would make it difficult to run...so let's say they came out meaning business. The result being a 14-14 tie in game one and a 12-4 victory for the Pills in game two.
Game one started well for the Faces as we counted a quick 5 in the top of the first inning. At that point our offence stalled (helped greatly by the fact that the Pills defense was stellar, particularly in the outfield). The Pills scored a couple here and a couple there and had a 3-run lead into the 7th inning. In the top of the 7th we rediscovered our hitting shoes and put up a 5-spot. Undaunted, the Pills scored two in the bottom and both teams walked away with a tie.
Game two saw the Pills stifling our bats and scoring enough to cruise to an easy win. The Pills hit 'em hard all over the park and when that didn't work, they hit them at our shortstop (name withheld) who proved that it is (a) hard to play shortstop with your head up your...and (b) it's hard to stop the other team if your shortstop has his head up his…. [Ed. Note – as you might guess, the shortstop in question also happens to be the author.] In fairness it was agreed by all that it is difficult to win if you score 4 runs in 7 innings. Full measure to the Blue Pills who played well on both sides of the ball.
Standouts for the Faces include Denis Bosc who hit the ball hard all day and led the offense and Rick Halik who pitched well and made his usual excellent defensive play, snagging a line drive for an out. Brock Paterson was terrific at second base.
Most notable play...it kills me to recount this, but it was funny...runner on first...base hit to right centre...runner tries to go first to third...great throw from the outfield to the...um...shortstop...a bad throw gets the runner by 10 feet at third...I heaved it...legitimately...10 feet over Ken Baker's head to score the runner...not sure who could have caught that ball...Yao Ming maybe...ya gotta laugh.
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
For those of you (ok, everyone) who have never been to Amarillo Texas you've missed out on two things. Their wildly fluctuating, incredibly windy weather, and the best Christmas lights displays (Candy Cane Lane) in North America. Actually, three things....great steak. We have some brilliant light displays in Oakville too and apparently every Thursday we have their weather as well. We've played through cold, light rain, heavy rain, stifling heat, gale force winds and although we haven't had a tornado yet I swear that I saw a house spinning by and a pair of ruby slippers under the bench this past Thursday. (Not to mention the pitching screen getting blown over.)
On the bright side, the only heat this week came from the hottest team in baseball, the Fine Wines. Now that we've refined our formula we have it down to a fine art. Let the other team run wild early until they tire themselves out, then chip away for a win.
In the first game we spotted Koop's Krushers to a 5-0 lead before eventually fighting back for a 9-6 win. In the nightcap - wait, morning cap - we fell behind 5-1 before slowly working our way back into the game and edging them out for a 6-5 win. For those of you scoring at home this makes three consecutive wins for the once lowly and now mighty merlots.
As usual, it was a total team effort on both sides of the ball but special mention goes to a couple of players: Mike Canham who battled the wind and pitched brilliant ball in both games. He also drove home the winning run with a booming shot (at least that's what it looks like on the scorebook) off the fence in the 7th inning of game two....and Ed Lincz who had several defensive gems, turning a couple of fine double plays and also went 6 for 7 with a double and a triple and the first ever delay of game penalty while legging out that triple. Ken Cullum chipped in with an inside the park homer giving us our first "team cycle" and Barny Henderson continued his hot streak by getting on base 4 more times this week.
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
Once upon a time, when baseball was still the national pastime, and the Braves were still in Milwaukee, their rotation was led by legendary combo of Warren Spahn and Johnny Sain. Back then the MLB played a lot of double-headers and when the Milwaukee Braves came to town the common refrain was: "Spahn and Sain, pray for rain".
The Rusty Royals also have a duo leading their pitching staff that alternate to befuddle, bamboozle and baffle opposing bats. On Thursday the Fine Wines were flummoxed by the Royals’ combo of Manson and Stubbins. Together they held the brawny burly Wines’ bats to only 9 runs in game one, and only 6 in game two. When you limit the opposing bats to this pitiful of production you win ball games. Usually.
As the game opened it appeared that the Fine Wines needed to pray harder for rain. In inning one of game one "Helter Skelter" Manson opening with a single, this was followed by singles from Darrell Northcott, Jonathan "Royal" Kamin, and a bases clearing home-run by "Comeback Player of the Year" Ted Wierda. Tony "Soprano" Fratia then doubled and after hits by "Travelling Man" Tom Hunter and Andy "Mayberry" Byj, Soprano scored. A 5-0 lead after the top of the first, a great pitching duo on the mound, what could go wrong? Well, for the ill-starred, potentially cursed Royals, everything. The next six innings they scored zero runs. For five consecutive innings the Royals left two runners stranded on base. Despite a great defensive showing the Royals went down 9-6.
July 10, 2025
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
As the adage goes, he who wins the war writes history. In our case it's he who goes to the bar writes the summary.
Given that our attendees at the Pump and Patio were all outfielders, it was decided to focus on their exploits on this oppressively hot July day. Coming into this week's matchup the Fine Wines team was a perfect(?) 0 for 4 versus the White Hairs team. In game one this trend continued, but not without some suspense as we came back in the last inning only to have the tying run thrown out at home plate to end the game with a 10-9 loss.
As we've done all season, our strategy was to tire out the opponents by letting them run amok in game one and it paid off again as our defense shut them out through the first four innings in game two. Eventually our offense came around with back to back rallies scoring 5 in the 4th and 4 in the 5th - both keyed by Al Stokes (outfielder) as we coasted to a 10-5 win.
Leading the way was Andy Kozai with 6 hits and several fine defensive plays from the rover position (which counts as outfield for the purpose of this recap) over the two games. The flying Wallendas took over from there with Randy Heinbecker (outfielder) making a great circus catch while tumbling to the ground in left center, and our right center fielder (who will rename anonymous as usual) making a...well....interesting...face plant catch while tripping over the grassy knoll in right. We will be reviewing the Zapruder film to confirm if a sniper was involved.
Kim Warren (yes, another outfielder) had a solid game in left while contributing 4 hits, including a double.
As agreed at the pub, we will not mention the fine play by infielders Tinkers (Steve Devoe) to Evers (Ed Lincz) to Chance (Bruce Locke) who along with Tony Lima helped stifle the White Hairs’ vaunted offense. Nor will we give the aforementioned infielders credit for their combined 13 hits and 13 RBI.
Editors Note: For the purposes of clarity we chose to write "outfielder" in full instead of the commonly abbreviated OF.
There was a time when OF was automatically assumed to mean "baseball players who play on the grass and catch fly balls". This...has changed.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
The Hairs may have misstepped this past week based on the number of illegal pitches called by everyone’s favourite umpire Howie Brown. (Actually Howie was great in both games.) Playing their first game in a month without a spare, the Hairs played a solid game one limiting the Wines to 1 run in the final 3 innings to take the game10-9.
A disturbing trend continued in game 2 as the Hairs’ bats went quiet and their gloves went amiss. However, Magic Mike Boyle turned back the clock in right field with several stellar catches. The growing ritual of tossing the gloves on the ground helped wake up the Hairs for one inning. Full marks to the Wines for scratching out a game 2 win.
The Hairs will unleash a new Pump and Patio strategy next week - enough said.
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
Last week Tom Hunter filled in as coach and was a little soft on the guys and won only one game. This week the regular coach was back, fresh after reading Leo Dourocher's book. You remember Leo? Leo once said "nice guys finish last". So I told the guys to stop being so nice, and to just toughen up and hit the ball - and forget the complicated stuff like hitting the cut-off or when on first taking third on hits to right field. The guys responded ....and we lost two games...
We kept game one close for four innings. It was 9-9 after four, but the Red Faces kept hitting and we did not. The Red Faces won game one 18-14. We did have high points: Bill Manson was 5-5 with four runs scored, Darryl Northcott was 4-5 with four runs scored, Andy Byj drove in four runs, and John Koopman scored three. In the second game the Rusty Royals reverted to form and got mercied 15-5. Jack Pang was 3-3 and everyone else tried real hard.
When coach got home he did more research on Leon Durocher. The season after he criticized the Cubs for being too nice and finishing ninth, Durocher took over management of the Cubbies finished tenth.
The Royals still believe in themselves...but it is getting harder.
Red Faces Report – Bill Craig
Remember when we were all complaining about the cold, wet weather at the beginning of the season? Well, those days are gone. Under hot, humid, sunny skies, the Red Faces and the Rusty Royals played a spirited two games with the Faces escaping with a sweep by scores of 18-14 and 15-5. Both teams were shorthanded and banged up (Fun Fact...that was the name of my garage band in the 1970's). Major thank you to my brother (the REAL Steve Craig) who came out to watch the games and then volunteered to catch for both teams as we each only fielded 10 men. Alas, Steve lasted only through game one before the heat got to him. Fortunately, in that time, he was at the end of another Milton Curling Club relay to nab a runner at the plate (Pretto to Craig to Craig). With so many guys on the limp, captains Coop and Mastervick agreed to allow unlimited pinch runners...which seemed like a good idea...unless you were one of the runners...good thing it wasn't hot and humid.
The Royals jumped out to a 9-3 lead in game one. The Faces’ lineup was patchwork as outfielders Pretto and Scott could only jog after balls (leg injuries), Rick Halik was forced to play third base for the first time since Diefenbaker was PM, skipper Mastervick was limping at rover and Ken Baker was patrolling right field with a wonky hamstring. Mastervick set about rearranging the defence and it paid immediate dividends. Halik and Baker switched places and Halik made an outstanding running catch in right field. And Baker put on a Brooks Robinson-like display at third for the balance of the day. The Royals hit plenty of balls hard, but Ken just kept making plays. Starting pitcher Doug Hyland was a strike throwing machine and held the Royals to just 5 runs over the last 4 innings, allowing for a nice comeback by the offence. Doug also chipped in a fine defensive play as did Brock Paterson and Don Brown on a nifty 4-3 putout. The top 4 guys in the order did their jobs as Bosc, Craig, Mastermind and Pretto combined to score 12 runs.
Game 2 was a defensive lockdown game for the Faces, holding the Royals to 5 runs. Pitcher Halik was terrific and the offense clicked as it has all year, with contributions up and down the line. Fortunately, all of the guys with bad wheels could still swing the bat and our deep lineup kept finding ways to score runs. As always it was great to see Chappy umpiring and he did a fine job. It was also great to see a big turnout at the Pump by all teams, including ours.
Greybeards Report – Jeff Francis
Ok gentlemen it appears game one on Thursdays have become Groundhog Day for the Grey Beards. When we come out lights out in the first inning and put up 5 runs the team decides it’s 6 more innings until the win so let’s go back to our hole and forget we need to play defence and score more than one run in every other inning. 5 in the first inning then 5 in the rest of the game - it’s a pattern in the first games this season.
In game 2 the beards decided to change it up - not scoring 5 in the first to change our luck. Well, there must be something with scoring 5 in an inning. The beards scored 5 in the second inning instead, then thought they had the PIlls at their mercy and shut it down on offence the rest of the game thinking 5 was enough for the win. Well, the Pills had different ideas and taught the beards a valuable lesson and schooled the beards for the sweep.
Some great hitting - Dave Kozai going 7-7 on the day with some great base running; the Jeff and Jeff show were consistent; and Dan Cooper had 5 hits on the day. Bruce Cisterna crushed a long ball and legged out a triple. So the beards in the future will try to avoid scoring 5 in an inning because once they do Groundhog Day begins.
Also a big thank you to a certain unnamed player [Ed. Note – my money’s on the author] for not knowing what day of the week it was when he woke up, and when he realized we actually play every Thursday, for making the last half of the first game.
Blue Pills Report – Rick Buchan
Blue Pills managed to take two from the Grey Beards under a steamy morning at GA West, 11-10 and 17-5, avenging the two losses suffered at the same diamond to the Beards in early June.
Game one was a back-and-forth affair with the Pills finally pulling ahead with 5 runs in the fifth and holding on for the 11-10 squeaker. We welcomed back Mike Way who had 3 RBIs. Ben Roczniak legged out an impressive triple. Ron VanderMeulen got the W on the hill.
Pills' bats came alive in game two with consecutive 5-run innings enroute to a 17-5 rout. Willi Thurner, channelling an early '80s Al Bumbry, had a inside-the-park homer and went 3 for 3. Ben and Ron also had three hits and Samuel Hsu legged out his first double of the season. Ron got the win again on the mound and the beers went down smooth on the Pump patio.
JULY 3, 2025
Blue Pills-Rick Buchan
The Blue Pills and the Fine Wines split their games at Millbank West, with the Pills winning the opener 17-13 and the Wines prevailing 11-9 in game two. The Pills plated runs in every inning but the third and withstood a late Wines charge to prevail. Vince Pileggi, Ron VanderMeulen, and Ben Roczniak, collectively the heart of the order, led the way on offence with multi-hit and multi-RBI games. Willi Thurner channeled his inner Mark Belanger at shortstop with several key defensive plays. Ron got the win on the hill.
In game two, the teams were tied 9-9 after four innings but the lads in red cobbled together 2 more runs and shut the Pills down with some stellar "D" over the last four innings. Not a whole lot to mention offensively save for Tony, Vince P. and Geoff running amok on the basepaths and scoring two runs each. Teams relocated to the Pump where the grub and service was adequate for the second week in a row.
Fine Wines-Dan Sanscartier
Well it looks like Canada's team, led by an ageless wonder, solid defense, and timely hitting throughout the order, has gotten hot at the right time.
Yes, as you all guessed, the Fine Wines team is on a roll, having won 4 of their last 6 games and are now threatening to vault into....third place.
The ageless wonder in question?, Barney "Bam Bam" Henderson, who ran his on-base streak to 11 straight before finally succumbing to an out during the first game which was won by the Blue Pills 17-13. The Pills victory did not come without a little stress as we scored 6 in the last inning to make it interesting.
In the second game the Pills were ahead 9-4 after 3 innings but were held scoreless the rest of the way as the Shiraz sluggers chipped away and then held them off for an 11-9 win. Randy Heinbecker and Andy Kozai combined for 13 hits, 3 doubles, 7 runs scored and 6 RBI's from the 1-2 spot. Ed Lincz was a perfect 4 for 4 in the second game, and Ken Cullum contributed 4 hits and 2 doubles of his own over the two games. Al Stokes got on 4 times and drove in 3 runs to help...stoke... a couple of rallies.Steve "Ozzie" Devoe (who also had 4 hits) had a fine game at short and Tony Lima shone at second base in game two. But the key defensive work was done by Mike Canham who somehow kept the Pills from hitting to our right center fielder over the final 4 innings.
Greybeards-Dan Cooper
What a week of softball glory, folks. The infamous GreyBeards took the field in Game One and unleashed every ounce of mojo they had left in the tank. Dan Cooper led the charge, crossing home plate four times, proving that age and cunning can still outpace youth and enthusiasm. Not to be outdone, Jeff Palmer and Tom Colquhoun each added three runs apiece, showing off some serious wheels and bat work.
With Frank Sturm still sidelined by his mysterious lower groin injury (we’re starting to think he’s enjoying his role as team motivator), the rest of the roster came out fired up and ready. Our pitching staff—Larry Young, Don Yaschyshyn, and Robert Cookish—each contributed excellent performances, keeping the Red Faces on their heels with crafty placement and veteran savvy. Meanwhile, Stephen Isaacs and Larry Young kept everyone loose and laughing with a steady stream of jokes, proving once again that humor is just as important as hustle.
Jeff Francis brought his signature power, launching big bombs into the outfield that sparked key rallies and kept our offense alive. On defense, there were moments in Game Two when we could’ve sent Jim Fenner to patrol the outfield solo—he caught everything that came within shouting distance and kept us in the fight. On the bases, David Kozai’s speed and sharp instincts were on full display, while Rob Bentley’s hustle made him a constant threat in the infield. And let’s not forget Steve Moses—our “Steady Eddy”—who, as always, came through under pressure and anchored the team when it mattered most.
Game One ended in a hard-fought 20–18 victory for the Gray Beards—a masterclass in offense, defense, and good old-fashioned teamwork. But as they say, all good things must come to an end. In Game Two, the Red Faces came roaring back with a vengeance, racking up four innings of maximum five-run damage and pulling away to take a 20–13 win. Despite our best efforts, the Graybeards couldn’t stem the tide and had to tip our caps (and ice a few sore knees) after a tough loss.
Still, it was an epic day of softball—full of heroics, laughs, and memories that’ll keep us smiling until next week. Hats off to everyone for showing up, giving it their all, and making it a game day to remember.
Red Faces-Brian Mastervick
Well, two more great games between the Red Faces and the Grey Beards. And on a day when it was clear it would not rain. Hallelujah!
Game one was a slugfest (the Beards can mash). They threw five on the board in the first. Faces led 9-6 after three. Then the Beards went 5-3-5 in innings four to six. Eventually, the Faces came up in the bottom of the 7th needing four to tie. We got two and had the tying runs at 1st and 2nd when yours truly made the last out. Great game by both teams and a final score of 20-18 for the Beards.
Dario Pretto played despite a bad hand and bad achilles. He needed a runner from the plate and was confined to catcher duties but had three hits and made two outs on foul tips...which I assume means he now leads the league in catcher put-outs. Brock chipped in his usual three hits and spares, Gabe and Joe combined for 5 hits to pace the offense. As is usually the case with the Faces, everyone chipped in, which is how you get 18 runs without anybody having a George Springer game.
Game 2 started out as a pitchers duel. The Beards put up five in the 1st inning and led 5-2 after three innings. At that point, we turned on the jets, scoring 5 runs in each of the 4th, 5th and 6th innings. Trailing 17-8 in the 6th, the Beards put up 5 to make it close, but we responded with three in the top of the 7th and hung on to win 20-13. How good is the Beards offense? We scored 38 runs and split with them. Again, the offense was up and down the lineup. Brock went 4 for 4 including a shot to the wall which would have been a home run except it scored the 5th run of the inning in front of him...and he was already out of gas and probably would have stopped at second anyway.
A happy split for us. We had a number of guys missing with injuries or playing hurt so manager Mastervick (Mastermind?) got the blender out to set the defense up that gave us a chance to win. Kudos to all the boys that played unfamiliar positions (not me...I'm a diva and Brian knows it).
Highlights...Brock Paterson, playing left field, made a great running catch and started a relay to cut a run off at the plate in game 2. Brock made a great throw to me...I made a mediocre throw into the dirt at the plate and Dario made a terrific stretch and backhanded short-hop scoop for the out...Super spare Gabe (pronounced Gabay, I'm told) had to leave in the bottom of the 7th in game 2. So intrepid first baseman Don Brown moved over to second base. With one on, Donnie "Ballgame" snared a hard hit ball, wheeled and gave me a great feed to start a double play. He then calmly made the last out of the game as well. Lastly, greatest play on the basepaths...Rick Halik was on first...Lefty Doug Hyland scorched a liner right at Rick...Rick hits the dirt and the ball goes over him, fair, into right field...Rick does a single roll, springs (yes, springs) to his feet and heads for second and just beats a good throw from right field at second base...it was noted that the last guy who almost got killed like this was me...and that I skinned my knee and whined about it for the rest of the game...and that Rick went completely whine-less in the same circumstance...it took me a while, but the inference was that Rick is tougher than me...which nobody disputed.
Well played games by both teams...and the Beards even let us sit with them at the Pump...great grilled cheese and bacon sandwich and great company!
White Hairs-Jeff Morton
Interesting games yesterday as the Hairs and Rustys umpired themselves and did a pretty good job. I've heard many ways to describe illegal pitches over the years. Yesterday, "wannabe" umpires Dave "Scowling" Walker and Mike "always happy" Boyle exclaimed a couple of illegal pitch phrases never before heard. At least they got the calls right!
Game one saw the Royals get six outs (yes 6 in the game) as the Hairs hit, and hit and hit in the 5 inning 21-2 lambasting.
Game two was quite different. Hairs hitting went away and defence was just ok. We entered the bottom of the 7th down 9-6 with the top of the order coming to the plate. "Chip" Barrett led off with a triple, Habnot King drove him in with a sac fly, Morton hit a double, "Silent" Steve Craig drove him in with a single and down by 1, the Hairs tapped out and lost 9-8.
Morton went 7-7 and Boyle, Habnot, Silent, "Easy" Schell and "Mark" Mark Palencher had 5 hits each.
Possibly the least rewarding split the Hairs have ever had over the years.
Meanwhile, back at the Pump we were actually the first patrons in the entire facility. Service was excellent, beer was cold and the lads regrouped for next week.
Rusty Royals-Tom Hunter
After last week’s discouraging losses the Royals’ beleaguered manager John Koopman made a pilgrimage to Tibet to search for some tips on changing the team’s karma. The Yogi advised him to take a week off. “Will that help the team?” John asked. “Probably not”, replied the sage, “but it might improve your mental health”. John wisely took the advice.
Under new (and very temporary) management Game 1 proved the sage correct. We sucked. Coincidentally, the White Hairs’ hitting was reminiscent of that Oscar-winning film “Everywhere everything all at once”. After 4 ½ innings the home team Royals were down 19-2, rendering a comeback a mathematical impossibility as scoring 5 runs in the bottom half would not prevent a mercy loss. (Incidentally, last year the Executive Committee considered whether it would be desirable to tweak the “open inning” rule to permit a comeback in this situation, but the likelihood of this situation arising was deemed too remote.) The Royals used the bottom half for some much-needed batting practice.
The Royals resolved to at least make it respectable in Game 2. It didn’t start well, as the visiting Royals went down quickly in the first. Surprisingly, so did the Hairs. Ditto for the second inning. In the top of the 3rd the Royals exploded for 2 runs, matching their offensive output in Game 1. Panic set in among the ranks of the Hairs, who promptly put up another goose-egg. “Hey, we’re actually winning” one of the more astute Royals observed. Entering the final frame the good guys were somehow still on top by 3 runs. What transpired next remains a blurred fever-dream, but when the dust cleared the Royals had eked out a 9-8 victory. Karma.
Much credit to the two Bills (Manson and Stubby) who shared the pitching duties and gave up only one walk in both games. Each of Manson, Jack Pang and spare Simon Everritt batted 4-6 on the day.
JUNE 26, 2025
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
What can I say about the Rusty Royals that would be both kind and true? Thursday was a tough day for them though it did build a lot of character. Perhaps it can be summed by what Casey Stengel said in 1961 when he took over managerial duties for the 1961 expansion new York Mets: "Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before."
In Game one the Royals loaded the bases with one or none out in the first and second inning. All that "Sturm und Drang" led to only one run scored. Jonathan Kaiman, Tony Fratia and Darrell Northcott reached base on each at bat and Bill Manson went 2-3, however the rest of the failed to reciprocate. Ultimately the Royals did score 10 runs, falling only four short of victory.
The second game is best lost to history. Casey Stengel once also said "Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in." Apparently all the Rusty Royals were up looking for women the night before the game. The names of these Royals will forever remain un-recorded. Suffice it to say that 11 Rusty Royals failed to distinguish themselves, 10 of them failed to score a run, 9 of them committed defensive miscues, and 8 saw very little outfield grass. All players agreed that that they were being poorly coached.
In midst of all these tribuations, like Job of biblical fame, we still have faith and believe we are a good team. And we are not delusional, I don't think. We all know of what the 1969 Mets did. See you next week.
Blue Pills Report – Rick Buchan
Blue Pills took two from the Rusty Royals at Millbank West, putting an end to their 4-game winless streak. Pills took the opener 14-10 as Tony (“Brooks”) Foscarin put on a fielding clinic at the hot corner and led the offence with 4 hits. Vince Moffatt and Ben Roczniak had multi-hit games and Willi Thurner scored three runs. Ron VanderMeulen was on the hill.
Thurner led a balanced attack in game two with 3 hits and four runs scored. Tony and Ron each drove in 3 and Ben Roczniak was 3 for 4 with 3 runs scored. George (“Wheels”) Merrick was on the hill for the 17-1 win.
The teams were first on the Pump patio, happily tucked into their pints and lunch specials when the rains came.
Grey Beards Report – Tom Colquhoun
As we took the field for game 1, the battle of the brothers was on! The Grey Beards got off to a good start, scoring 3 runs in each of the first 2 innings. Defence on our part was just ok compared to how we have been playing lately, and the early loss of Frank Sturm to a lower body injury was probably a huge contributing factor. Heal up fast Franky! Unfortunately our bats got cold after the 2nd and were not able to score again until we got one in the 6th. The Fine Wines went on a tear in the top of the 7th, scoring 9 in their open inning and we were only able to get 3 back in the bottom, for a 19-12 loss.
Game 2 got off to a fantastic start for our Grey Beards, scoring 5 runs in the top of the first! But like game 1, our bats went to sleep for 3 innings. The Fine Wines played well defensively, relying heavily on their fielders choice forceout plays at 2nd base, of which they must have made 10 over the course of the 2 games. Despite our bats going south for awhile we were able to keep things close, losing 8-9 in a rain-shortened 6-inning game. It would have been nice to play the 7th with the hopes of salvaging a split for Manager Kozai, but it was not to be.
Hopefully we rectify this and even up the battle on July 31, but for now the sibling score stands at Andy: 2, Dave: 0
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
Sometimes you need a bit of lousy weather to convince you to open up one of the finer bottles in the cellar. After week upon week of lousy weather we finally caved and uncorked the finest vintage of them all. Chateau Barny Henderson went a sublime 7 for 7 (yes 7 for 7!) with a walk and an "elbows up" to help lead us to a doubleheader sweep over the Grey Beards. Even with that individual performance the theme for the day was sharing/not sharing, caring/not caring.
Sharing
· Every member in the lineup had at least one RBI and scored at least one run over the two games.
· Frank Sturm - As most of our league knows, the Grey Beards speedster is a great guy and would give you the shirt off his back, or in this case, the bandage and ice pack off his calf when yours truly was taken down by the aforementioned "elbows up" Henderson.
Not Sharing
· Our left fielder, who will remain nameless, refused to give the ball back to his teammates in the last inning of the second game while the Grey Beards circled the bases to take a one-run lead. Luckily, Kim Warren stepped up to hit a leadoff double in the bottom of the inning to redeem himself...I mean the anonymous left fielder...and helped lead us to a walk-off 8-7 win capped by Andy (“no I'm not sharing my lunch with Morty”) Kozai's base hit to right.
· Barny "elbows up" Henderson who made it clear that he will not share right field with the writer of this material....which led to the next item.
Caring
· Frank again, who not only shared his first aid gear but also took the time to ice and wrap this writer's ankle.
Not Caring
· Both teams, who didn't care when the skies opened up and continued to play even while the players on the east diamond were scurrying to their cars, and also didn't care as the umpire begged us to hurry up and finish the game.
Additional highlights - Kim Warren finished with 5 hits and two doubles, Andy Kozai had 6 hits and Bruce (Soto who?) Locke got on base 6 times, 3 times via a walk. This gives Bruce 7 walks over the past two weeks. Steve Devoe banged out another pair of doubles and Ken Cullum made several excellent plays from the rover position.
Red Faces Report – Brian Mastervick
Red Faces started the day with 3 subs. Thank you to Kirk, Warren and Billy for joining us for the day. In addition to the missing players, many of the Red Faces are playing with parts that are not working the way they used to (any other team feeling the pain?). It was difficult to watch our players hobble around. Can we use mobility scooters in the outfield?
Maybe we can learn from Don Brown, our tallest player who consistently reaches down to touch his toes. Stretching is a good thing. Mind you, the reason he is reaching down so often is to vacuum up the bad throws coming to 1st base. Great job Don. One player that never seems to show his age is Brock, who safely slid into base twice in the day. With just the mention of sliding, I know Bill can feel the pain all the way up to the cottage. The highlights… Offense from game 1 was the pitching, Rick is Mr. consistent on the mound, and Dan hitting a home run to plate 2 in the 1st inning and going 3 for 4 at the plate. Defense was solid, holding the White hairs to 1 run over 5 innings. We slipped a bit in the 6th but held on for the win.
Game 2 was all about the White hairs hitting the holes. Even starting the second game before 11 a.m. and with a 1 and 1 count (everyone loves 1 and 1), we still experienced the heavens opening up and dumping buckets of rain. Great call by the ump to call the game almost immediately. The field was unplayable within minutes. Great hitting got the win for the White Hairs.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
The Hairs finally got their first look at the Red Faces this week. At BP a few of our veterans asked "who are these guys?" Certainly nice to see some new faces in the league! After a slight delay as the Parks crew tended to the water in the home plate area, the game commenced.
Early on it became apparent the Hairs would need to revise their strategy. The Reds were banging the ball everywhere and scoring easily - and then it dawned on us - let them tire themselves out on the doubles, triples and home runs they seemed intent on smashing. Going into the bottom of the 5th and facing a 10-1 deficit, the Hairs got 5 to tighten up the match. Was another Hairs comeback in the works? Not this time. We went quietly and lost 11-6.
Game two was scoreless after one. We put up 5 in the top of 2 and the Reds matched us in the bottom. What soon became apparent was the Reds were fading. They kept moving their outfielders around trying to hide the quad and hammy injuries suffered by base running efforts from Dan Scott and Dario Pretto. The Hairs smelled blood (or perhaps beer at the Pump and Patio) and kept the hammer down erupting for 17 runs through 5. With an 11 run lead the rain came down in buckets. Umpire Howie called the game and the Faces were clamouring to leave.
The Hairs used some long balls in game two with home runs from Morton, Octogenarian Cummings and Bill Habnot King. Overall the Hairs were awarded 5 stars for their outfield play, 3.5 for infield and 4.5 for Flow Kemp's pitching. Two strikeouts from the Hairs provided some adult beverages at the Pump.
Chip Barrett led the Hairs with 6 hits and Silent Steve Craig, Easy Schell, Mike back from 3 weeks in Europe Boyle and Morton had 5 each. Lunch at the Pump was fun and an old Hair Alumni, Brock Professor Paterson, joined the Hairs for some friendly banter.
JUNE 19, 2025
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
Game One was a continuation of much of the challenges the Rusty Royals have faced all season. Good pitching, good defence and no sticks. The only highlights were Rudy Gauer who went 2-2 and scored a run and Jonathan "Grand" Kamin who was 2-3 and scored twice. Those three runs were all the Rusty Royals plated. No, we were not playing hardball...Bill Manson and Tom Hunter also had two hits but were left stranded by their teammates.
The old Rusty Royals would have folded like a cheap shirt as the second game opened. But no, they showed their grit and tenacity. After falling behind 4-0 after two innings, they responded with five in the 3rd inning led by hits by Hunter, Ted Wierda (finally back in the league after some injury issues), Andy Byj, Gauer, Kamin and Manson. In the fourth the Royals exploded for four more with key hits by "Otis" Walker, Jack Pang, Tim Price and again the pesky Hunter. Andy Byj was part of three double plays, the rest of the team made the defensive plays they needed to make and Helter Skelter Manson pitched a gem. In the bottom of the 7th the beardies needed 3 to tie and 4 to win. A few minutes later it was a mere 1 to tie and 2 to win. With the tying run at second and the winning run at first the Royals could feel their much-deserved victory slipping away. The Grey Beards have great bats, but Right Field Rudy expertly caught a line drive to seal the14-13 squeaker and receive the adulation of his teammates.
The Royals are not yet "hot" but we are "warming up". Next week's challenger the Blue Pills better bring their "A" game.
Grey Beards Report – Robert “Cookie” Cookish
Game #1 vs Rusty Royals
June 19th started off with winds prevailing at Hurricane strength throughout the morning. Our pitcher Larry pitched a stellar game while all the Grey Beards’ bats came alive very early. Defence remained solid through the match as manager Kozai rotated through all positions. Don Yaschyshyn was ever so clever on third base by snatching sure hits with that golden glove and assisting with the win 12-3. Notable batters who batted 4-4 contributed to our team's success were Jeff Palmer, Jeff Francis, Don and Rob Bentley. Congrats to our Grey Beards!
Game #2 vs Rusty Royals
With the wind still a prevailing factor, Grey Beards pitcher Robert Cookish (Cookie) found it difficult to locate the plate at times and contributed to the occasional walk. [Ed. Note – the author is permitted to criticize himself, but the criticism is unwarranted as the wind gusts were howling]. Don's stellar plays and catches at 3rd continued throughout the day. Our bats only came alive near the end of the game. The Rusty Royals’ right fielder made an amazing snag of a hard-hit ball by Larry Young which became the game changer for the Royals. Congratulation on the Royals winning a close match by the narrowest of margins 14-13!
Blue Pills Report – Rick Buchan
Blue Pills took it on the chin twice while facing the White Hairs at a blustery Millbank West, pummelled 14-2 in the opener and edged 21-20 in heartbreaking fashion in game two. Not much going offensively in game one as BPs could only muster solo runs in the first and seventh innings.
Game two saw the bats come alive, scoring in every inning but the first, to stake out a 20-14 lead, only to have the powerful Hairs score 7 in the bottom of the seventh to eke out a 21-20 win. Much disappointment in the handshake line. Pills' balanced attack had Geoff, George and Vince P. each stroking 4 hits and Mike chipping in with 3 RBIs. All for naught though as the Hairs walked it off. Venue change post-game as both squads gathered at The Pump. Food reviews were mainly positive.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
Deja Vu All over again
The Hairs took the field on a mission to avenge two earlier losses to the Pills. Game one went according to plan with a solid 14-2 win highlighted by defensive plays from Gold Glove King, Octogenarian Cummings, Morton and the Hairs’ outfield Craig, Habnot King, Slick Brancier and Barrett. Flow Kemp did an outstanding job pitching with the gusting wind conditions.
Game two the D continued shutting down Pill boys in the top of 1st and then scoring 5 of their own in the bottom. The Hairs’ offense finally slowed down in the 5th and 6th and Pills put up 10 in total over the 5th, 6th and 7th to take a 20-14 lead into the bottom of the 7th.
Undeterred, the Hairs' composure took over. Barrett, Mark Mark Palencher and Flow had 3 hits to start the inning. Easy Schell hit a sac fly to score one and Gold Glove King plated another. After Teach Brinton looked at strike 3 the Hairs had 2 outs and were down 4. Slick Brancier drove in Gold Glove, Habnot hit a double and suddenly the Hairs were down 3, had runners on 2nd and 3rd and Morton at the plate.
Recognizing there might be an intentional walk in the cards, the Pills neglected Morton's advice and walked him anyway, putting the winning run on first.
Up to the plate strode Steve Craig, the Hairs’ newly anointed left fielder and clean up hitter. Steve had already had an awesome day at the plate banging out single after single to score the Hairs’ 1, 2 and 3 hitters. A single here might tie the game. Silent Steve smashed a double down the left field line clearing the bases and propelling the Hairs to another come from behind win.
To quote the legendary Yogi Berra, "It's like deja vu all over again"
Hitting leaders on the day were Morton with 9, Silent Craig with 8, Barrett 7, and the two Marks and Gold Glove with 6 each.
Dan Sanscartier and his Wines squad beat us to Monaghans again as the Hairs and Pills tried out the Pump and Patio on a fine Thursday afternoon.
Red Faces Report – Bill Craig
[Ed. Note – if you thought Morton’s report was long, you might want to get a coffee and make yourself comfortable…]
Let's call this report "The Red Faces and the Fine Wines...and the Blustery Day". It was a blustery day and both teams did a good job dealing with less than ideal conditions in a split of the doubleheader.
Game one was tight for three innings until the Faces put up 13 runs in innings 4-6 and then withstood a furious 5-run rally in the 7th to take game one by a score of 17-11.
The soundtrack for Game Two was definitely provided by The Four Seasons with their big hit, "Walk Like a Man". The howling wind made it extremely difficult to throw strikes and three Faces pitchers walked a couple of hundred (ok...it was about a dozen or so) Wines. I've never been so happy to play shortstop. I don't know how the pitchers hung in there, but they did and the game stayed tight, but the Wines hung on for a 15-12 victory.
With the return of Dan Scott and Denis Bosc, the Faces sported a full lineup of 11 men. Denis was out early before the game and it showed, as he had five hits and five runs scored in the doubleheader. He also made a great snag of a line drive while pitching in game two. Dan took a different approach, literally sauntering in about three minutes before game time. Despite his cavalier game preparation he played well with a number of hard-hit balls and a spectacular diving catch of a ball in right-centre. You couldn't pay me enough to dive at this stage of life, but Dan sold out to make a great grab. Still, this was not our best defensive play. In game two, Doug Hyland made the play of the year, leaving his feet to snag a drive down the right field line. He was travelling so fast that he rolled a couple of times after the catch (looked like he was on fire and was attempting to put himself out---it was striking). Brian Mastervick also made a great running catch of a pop fly hit over the shortstop's head. Brian came a long way from the other side of second base to make that grab. He also chipped in 8 hits including one that almost killed yours truly who was on first at the time. Fortunately, I leaped (a whole 3 inches) to avoid getting hit. I then did my trademark move of falling down and complaining about my skinned knee.
Dario Pretto came into the game with a badly sprained finger on his throwing hand. Didn't matter. He was on base all 8 times, including two inside-the-park home runs. Ooops...correction. One HR and one triple which should have been a home run but for his throwing out the parachute between 2nd and 3rd base. We mocked him until he advised that his achilles was a bit sore. Still, we decided to create the “Dario Pretto Hustle Award” to be given to the player who successfully reaches base with the least effort possible. Four batters later, Don Brown sewed up that award for this week. Donnie hit a ball to 2nd base that went off the glove and rolled into short right field. As the 2nd baseman retrieved the ball, Don ambled his way to first base. And I mean ambled. He touched the bag just before the throw got there. The whole play took...oh I don't know...maybe 7 or 8 minutes to complete. No calories were burned on his way to first base. It was the ultimate cool play. Don also had hits from both sides of the plate and was perfect at first base despite receiving some fairly sketchy throws from moi.
Rick Halik pitched a terrific game under terrible circumstances in game one and reached base 5 times, Ken Baker nursed a bad hammy and still reached base 6 times in 7 ABs and Brock and Richard did what they do...hit line drives and play good defense. They're both a bit boring actually.
All in all, a very entertaining two games with very good defensive plays made by both teams in high winds. Shocking that the stands weren't filled.
Lastly, a heartfelt thank you to Ryn Mastervick who comes out each week and keeps score for us. This, in addition to being married to Brian! It really helps us during the games and it really helps me in filing my reports. Ryn, you are our favourite Mastervick!
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
Well Chicago may be nicknamed the Windy City (although mostly due to its politicians than actual windiness) but on Thursday our humble town of Oakville did its best to steal the term. Strong winds persisted throughout our doubleheader, making it extremely challenging for the pitchers, hitters, fielders and the one spectator who mistakenly stopped to watch us play for ten minutes.
In the first game, the first place Red Faces showed us why they are in first place with a dazzling display of defence combined with some timely hitting in a 17-11 win over the burgundy boys. With our record now down to 2-9 it was time for us to step up to the plate in the second game and......walk.
And walk we did, it was literally a walk in the park. In a true slopitch rarity, our team tallied more runs (15) and more walks (13) than hits (12).
Every player had at least one RBI and one run scored on the day. Randy Heinbecker had 5 hits along with Ken "I never met a pitch I didn't like" Cullum who notably was the only player to not draw a walk on the day. Al Stokes and rookie Steve DeVoe (who launched two booming doubles) each drove in 3 runs and Mike Yes I Canham pitched remarkably well considering the windy conditions. Bruce Locke had 3 hits, 3 walks and scored 4 runs over the two games. Tony Lima also had a good day at the plate as he contributed 4 hits, 2 walks and 3 RBI for the day.
JUNE 12, 2025
Grey Beards Report – Rob Bentley
Game #1
It took a full seven innings for the White Hairs to eke out a victory. The Grey Beards scored 6 runs in the top of the seventh, coming back from a 16 – 13 deficit. However the White Hairs countered by scoring 4 to win by the ever so small margin of 20 -19.
Game# 2
The White Hairs seemed to “hit them where they ain’t”. The Beards kept scratching our beards, wondering if we just over shifted, who knows? White Hairs 23 Grey Beard 17.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
Who are those guys? That's the question the Beardies were asking themselves following a slugfest at Millbank.
Game one saw the Hairs get out to a quick lead and maintain the lead until the 7th.
Beard boys down 3, erupted for 6 in the top to take a 19-16 lead. Undettered, the Hairs kept their composure and answered with 4 in the bottom to take game one, 20-19. Flow Kemp had the game winning RBI.
As visitors in game 2, the Hairs’ momentum disappeared. Down 5 after one, the manager had everyone toss their gloves on the ground. Sometimes goofy things work. Defense improved but the Beards held a 9-4 lead heading to the fourth inning. Hairs scored 5 but the Greyheads hit every hole and put up another 5. Hairs kept scoring and took an 18-17 lead into the top of the 7th. After the first two batters were put out, the Hairs put the hammer down, scoring 5. Final score 23-17.
Hairs had 76 hits on the day - yes 76 hits!
Steve “I'll play the outfield if you need me to” Craig had 8 hits on the day and made a couple of outstanding catches in left. Guess where you're playing next week Steve?
Morton, Gord Crazy Legs Shields and Octogenarian Cummings each had 8 hits, with Al gold glove King, Flow Kemp, Rookie Palencher and Ian 5th gear Schell contributing 7 each.
The Hairs arrived at Monaghans at 12:50 - a team tardiness record.
[Ed. Note – When the Hairs hadn’t arrived at Monaghans by 12:45 p.m. a concerned player from another team suggested sending out a search party. After some discussion a vote was held and it was resolved that (i) we were concerned and (ii) we weren’t concerned enough to do anything about it.]
Red Faces Report – Bill Craig
Well, the Faces were down a couple of stalwarts but with the help of two spares managed to eke out game one against a very good Blue Pills team by a score of 11-6. We got 4 in the top of the first and kept adding a bit here and there to pull out a win. Rick Halik was a strike-throwing machine and made another great play defensively. Apparently you can't hit up the middle against him. He'll just snag the ball and throw you out.
The Pills were hampered in game one when Mike Way hurt his hamstring again, but they didn't let that stop them in game two. The Faces got up early and carried a 5-run lead to the top of the 7th. A terrific 5-run rally (just a bunch of hard hit balls) by the Pills tied the score and we failed to score in the bottom and settled for a 17-17 tie. Kudos to both teams for a well played double-header. A very fun morning of slopitch.
For the Faces, Richard Grudzinski returned to the lineup after two weeks in Europe and flashed the leather. He made a great play on a wicked hop right at him at rover. Cradled it on his chest and made the out at second base. Then he made a terrific stab of a hard hit ground ball to his left that also took a bad hop. All that in addition to his usual stellar batting in the leadoff spot. The "Killer B's (Bill Craig and Brian Mastervick...just made that up...gonna see if it sticks) combined to go 14 for 16 with 9 runs scored, 5 doubles, a triple and a home run (courtesy of Brian for the second week in a row...a moon-shot to right). Dario Pretto was 7 for 8 and made a nice running catch in left-centre. Super-utility man Ken Baker handled the plate and 2nd base flawlessly. Other super-utility man Brock Paterson moved to right field in game two (usually plays 2nd or rover) and made a great diving catch. So much so that he needs to launder the knees of his pants. Don Brown had 4 hits including a rocket to left for a double and made it look easy at first base. Doug Hyland was the same...except in left field.
Lastly, our spares Mike Mozewsky and Simon Everitt (in his OMMSPL debut) played well defensively at multiple positions and chipped in 13 hits combined, including each hitting a rocket for a double. Apparently, if you play cricket (as Simon does) hitting a softball is simple. Big thank you to them for coming out to play with us today.
Blue Pills Report – Ricky Buchan
Blue Pills, bolstered by the return of hamstrung slugger Mike Way, took on the first-place Red Faces on a sun-drenched morn at Glenashton East. The Faces powered their way to a 6-2 lead and claimed an 11-6 victory. Not much of note offensively for the Blues. Ron VanderMeulen was on the hill.
Game two was a seesaw affair with four separate lead changes. The good guys scored 5 runs in the top of the 7th to knot things at 17-17. George Merrick, who drove in the tying runs, retired the side in the bottom of the inning and the squads kissed their sisters. Geoff Coulson led the hit parade with several screaming line drives and went 4 for 4, Ron was 4 for 4 with four runs scored and Tony Foscarin raked a bases-loaded triple. Vince Pileggi hoovered up everything in right centre. The beer was cold, the food mediocre on the Monaghan's patio as Ron shocked the waitress with his Peroni-cat jaw story.
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
Well it finally all came together for us this week. After several weeks of rainouts and substandard performances our team stepped up and put a beating on the White Hairs team. Not only did we have a great turnout at Monaghans but we easily beat the White Hairs there. Some of us had already cashed out by the time their manager and hitting guru Jeff Morton arrived, head hanging in shame.
On a less important note, we did play two games that morning, and no, they weren't against the White Hairs.
In the first game versus the not-so-Rusty Royals we were outhit, outplayed and outscored 9-4 and never really challenged. Al Stokes was a perfect 2 for 2 with a run scored. Randy Heinbecker and Mike Canham were the only other players who managed two hits.
The second game had far more tension. Down to our last out in the bottom of the 7th, with two runners on base, rookie Steve Devoe came up clutch and drove in Bruce Locke - looking more like Andy Kozai - who scored from second and the Fine Wines bench erupted with pure elation and relief. Of course, this wasn't to win the game - it simply broke the shutout as we went down by a score of 8-1 and a two game sweep by the Rusty Royals.
Having scored only 6 runs in the past 3 games, the Fine Wines ownership group has reportedly reached out and signed Adolpho Phillips (who once led the National League in intentional walks - look it up) to a one-year contract.
[Ed. Note – Dan wins this week’s award for “Best Game Report with the Least Amount to Work With”, a prize formerly monopolized by Koopman]
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
The Rusty Royals seem to have turned the corner. Other teams beware! Bill "Grapes" Stubbins took control of the bench, and in fear of what he might call them if they failed, the Rusty Royals turned in an outstanding performance.
In Game One Bill "Charles" Manson was 4-4 and Bill "Otis" Walker, Darryl Northcott and Jack Pang all had three hits. Tony "Sprano" Fratia and Northcott each had two ribbies. Behind Manson's great pitching, and stellar defence by all (particularly Jonathan "Royal" Kamin), the Rusty Royals cruised to a 9-4 victory over the stunned Fine Wines.
In Game Two the Fine Wines were not so fine. Royals pitcher Charles Manson threw them some helter skelter and shut them out for six innings. The Royals plated four in the first and never looked back. Stunning performances were turned in by the noted entertainer Tommy Hunter who was 3-3 with two ribbies and a run, and Darrell Northcott and Otis Walker who were each 3-3.
Andy "Mayberry" Byj played a great second base, Rudy Gauer was on base four times in the morning's activities, as was Tim Price.
The Rusty Royals can't wait to rake again next week.
JUNE 5, 2025
Red Faces Report – Bill Craig
A 10-man Red Faces crew came out swinging and fielding like it was 1985 instead of 2025 in a sweep of a shorthanded Rusty Royals team by scores of 16-8 and 16-4.
The offence was very balanced. The top 5 hitters (Bosc, Craig, Mastervick, Pretto and Scott) got on base and scored 23 runs combined in the 2 games. The bottom 5 guys (Baker, Paterson, Brown, Halik and Hyland) drove in the runs. Highlights were home runs by Dan Scott (a shot up the left-centre gap to the wall) and Brian Mastervick (a towering drive over the fence in right). Doug Hyland chipped in with a triple among his 4 hits.
The boys flashed the leather today as well. Baker made a great stab of a line drive to his left at third base. Don Brown threw out a runner at home from first base and otherwise handled a pile of chances flawlessly. Mastervick made a terrific backhanded catch at rover. Dan Scott made a bunch of fine running catches in right-centre. In addition to pitching two very tidy games Rick Halik made an unbelievable stab of a line drive up the middle. [Ed. Note – I know - I was the victim]
Fun play of the day was turned in by Bill Craig who caught a toe going around first base attempting to stretch a single to a double at the tail end of game one. There was some arm flailing and some leg flailing and a doomed attempt to right himself before the inevitable crash landing 15 feet from the 1st base bag. Well, a big guy going down hard on a gravel infield will lead to multiple abrasions. The team was concerned (Craig is beloved by his teammates, I'm told), but he shook it off and played like a warrior in game two...or so he says. Moral of the story is...um...run the bases better next time.
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
There were bright spots. Just like George HW Bush's thousand points of light. Playing a man short the Royals fought like lions. In game one Jonathan Kamin had four hits in the lead-off spot, Dave Walker had four hits in the number three spot, and Koopman and the ageless Stubby each had three hits, but to no avail. The Royals failed to bunch their hits and fell 16-8 in game one. In the second game there were no thousand points of light and all records on the second game have been destroyed to protect the Royals from further embarrassment. There were no superior performances that would warrant a mention. The Royals were mercied 15-4. Still the Royal are a better team than their record shows.
The turnaround is just around the corner...
Grey Beards Report – Dave Kozai
It was a day where both teams were shorthanded. Grey Beards had 8 regulars with 1 spare while Blue Pills had 6 regulars with 4 spares.
Game 1 was a 12-9 win for the Grey Beards. It was a game clearly divided into 2 halves. The Grey Beards held a solid 12-5 lead after 4 innings with the top 4 in the batting order (Frank, Tom, Dan and Jeff F) accounting for 9 of the 12 runs. The bats experienced a cold spell for the final 3 innings as the Grey Beards couldn't produce any more runs but with sound defence (again!) managed to hold onto the win as the Blue Pills threatened a comeback in the final two innings. Player of the game goes to Steve Moses, who along with his smooth glove work, also had 4 hits in this game.
Game 2 was a 5-2 win for the Grey Beards. It was clearly a 'no-hitter' for both sides so not much to report here. Not a lot of hitting along with not a lot of errors makes for a quick game! In fact, Grey Beards scored all 5 of their runs in the 2nd inning while Blue Pills scored all 2 of their runs in the 4th inning. After the 4th inning, it was a defensive clinic by both teams, in making the routine outs! Game 2 started just after 11 am but finished before 12 noon, to emphasize how quick it was.
Blue Pills Report – Ricky Buchan
A lack of timely hits and some crafty pitching by the Grey Beards hurler led to a doubleheader sweep by the Beards at Glenashton West, spoiling George Merrick's managerial debut. Game one saw the Pills spot the Grey folk a 6-0 lead before plating five to make it look respectable. Beards hung on for a 12-9 win. Spare hurler Bruce Best was on the hill for the good guys.
There was not much offence on display in game two by either team, save for a five-spot scored by Grey in the second inning, as the Pills were beaten 5-2 in a game that seemed over in record time. Blue Pills’ highlight was a Tony Foscarin triple to score two in the fourth and some fielding gems by super spare Gabe Alvazian at rover.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
In the continuance of an unprecedented season, 9 Hairs showed up to take on the Wines.
The Hairs had their best offensive game of the season putting up a 17 spot in game one and winning by 8.
Game 2, saw both teams doing their best to get to Monaghans first. The barn burner was tied at 1 after 4 innings.
The lads looked over at the West Diamond and saw the Pill Poppers and Beardies walking off the field.
Given first to Monaghans was not going to happen, the Hairs scored a few in the 5th and 6th to win game two 7-1.
Wines Captain Dan Sanscartier, sidelined for the week, tried to motivate his squad through a number of extraordinary measures. None of them seemed to work as he gnawed on one cigarette after another.
Hairs had timely hitting from several sources including rookie Mark Palencher, Morton, Chris “looks like you'll have to play outfield this season” Barrett, Slick Brancier, Wonder kid Ian Schell and Steve “play me wherever you need to” Craig.
Flow Kemp pitched well and the Hairs turned several DPs.
Ken “Cheatin’ bastard” Cullum pitched well for the Wines.
Post game saw 8 of 9 Hairs return to Monaghans - with a thirst on!
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
There's a well known saying in sports - "don't beat yourself". Usually this refers to committing errors but in this case the Fine Wines crew accomplished this by NOT making errors. On a day where the Whites were a few Hairs short of a full roster, we supplied them with two defensive players and those players combined for 8 putouts and 5 assists, including starting two double plays. Even with the bats our squad was defensive minded - putting up 9 runs in a 17-9 loss in the first game and one....count 'em (it?) one run in a 7-1 loss in the second game. Andy Kozai led the way with 5 hits and an inside the park home run over the two games while Ed Lincz, Tony Lima and Bruce Locke each had 4. The highlight of the day was, of course, a defensive play as Barney Henderson went vertical to make a fine catch to take away an extra base hit.
MAY 29, 2025
[Ed. Note – the games between the Blue Pills and Fine Wines were not played due to the field conditions at Glenashton East]
Red Faces Report – Bill Craig
Charles Dickens opened A Tale of Two Cities with "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times". If you reverse the worst and best in that sentence, it aptly describes the two games the Red Faces played against the Grey Beards (and friends).
Game 1 was close until the first pitch...ok, it was close until the second inning. Final score was 14-2 for the Beards. How bad were we? We earned our team name on both sides of the ball. We did not score until the 4th inning (one run). We got another run in the 5th before the Beards mercifully ended it with 5 runs in the bottom of the 5th. Try these stats on for size. We sent 23 guys to the plate and had 6 singles, one double and one triple plus 2 walks. We hit into 2 double plays. Credit to the Grey Boys who made some nice plays on the rare occasions when we hit a ball hard. Of course, on the defensive side we were...um...Flaccid? Limp? Sad? Morose? Not up to contemporary professional standards? We clanked a few and threw some away and didn't catch others. There was a group of kids watching the game during recess. I found out later that they were so traumatized by watching our team that the school brought in counselling for them. Kudos to Brian Mastervick who tripled to lead off the 4th inning so we could score a run.
I was thinking about famous speeches in history and landed on these three...Churchill's "blood sweat, toil and tears" speech from 1940...JFK's "I am a Berliner" speech from 1963...Reagan's "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall" speech from 1989. And now we can add a 4th great piece of oration to this list. In what will go down in history as "The Tiger Balm Speech", one member of the team suggested that we should all apply Tiger Balm to our jockstraps to reverse the listlessness with which we had played game one. Of course nobody was foolish enough to do so, but the fiery Tiger Balm Speech led a fire under each of the Red Faces and we came out for Game two a different team.
The Faces took game two by a score of 18-13. The Grey Beards put up a five-spot in the top of the first, but the Faces responded with 5 of our own followed by 4 in the second inning. Super-sub Brian (known as the Good Brian) chipped in three hits as did Brock Paterson and Brian Mastervick. Really, we had offensive contributions from everyone. And on defence, Dario Pretto and Dan Scott both made fine catches in the outfield. We even threw out a runner at the plate with an all-Milton Curling Club relay (Dario Pretto to Bill Craig to Ken Baker). Winner of the "Why Me Award" is Rick Halik who got stepped on three times at second base while making plays. No worries...a little Tiger Balm on his foot and ankle and he'll be good as new.
Grey Beards Report – David Kozai
It was certainly a tale of two games. The Grey Beards were supplemented with two spares (Andy and Ed) from the Fine Wines, whose game at Glenashton had been cancelled due to unplayable conditions at their diamond. They were both welcome additions to the Grey Beards lineup as two of the real Grey Beards were caught in traffic and experiencing car troubles enroute to the first game. The starting Grey Beards lineup included 10 players while awaiting arrival of the remaining two Grey Beards. This led to many last minute changes to the batting order and defensive lineup. Credit to all the players for quickly adjusting to the situation.
Game 1 was a 14-2 mercy for the Grey Beards. Some fine pitching from Robert Cookish along with some uncharacteristically quiet bats from the Red Faces contributed to the result. The Grey Beards jumped out to a quick 9-0 lead after 3 innings. The Red Faces eventually scored 1 run in each of the 4th and 5th innings, but that kept the door open for a mercy. The bottom of the 5th inning saw the top of the Grey Beards’ batting order and they certainly demonstrated why they get paid the 'big bucks'. Five runs to secure the win! Stellar batting from Frank and Don, who both went 3 for 3 in the short game.
Game 2 was an 18-13 win for the Red Faces in a turnaround for the Red Faces. Their bats came alive for game 2. While the Grey Beards put up a 5 run first inning, it was matched by Red Faces in the bottom of the first. So the expectation for a slugfest was set early; however the Grey Beards sputtered a bit scoring 0 runs in the 2nd and 3rd innings. Of note, Grey Beards played great defence as illustrated by the 3 double plays made during this game but it was not enough to thwart the onslaught of hits from the Red Faces. Errors were minimal. They just hit to where we weren't! Looking forward to the next encounter with the Red Faces (great hitting team).
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
In Game One the Rusty Royals again played below their ability level. They scored no runs in the first, second, fourth, fifth and sixth innings. In three innings they sent only three batters to the plate. The White Hair's pitcher Johnny Kemp-Koufax was good, but not that good. We had a strike-out, multiple foul-outs and the coach on a bone-head play challenging Jeff Morten's arm (not a wise call) got thrown out at third, for a final out. Yes, the coach knows you should never be an inning's last out at third base...Bill Stubbins, trying to be helpful suggested he could run for Koopman next time. At the top of the order Jonathan Kamin and Darrell Northcott got multiple hits but that was not enough. To their credit the Royal did play good defense with nifty plays by Kamin, Bill Manson, Andy Byj and Northcott.
The Royals though gritted their teeth and decided Game Two would be different. As the poet sort of said in "Might Casey" -
the sneer was now gone from the Royal's lips
their teeth were clenched in hate
each of them pounded with cruel vengeance
their bat upon the plate
they would not let another game go by...
with just a whimpered sigh
In inning one the Royal loaded the bases with one out, but scored only one. In inning two they again loaded the bases and now plated two. In inning four they loaded the bases and plated two more. And in the sixth they loaded the bags once more, plating two again. Bill Manson, John Koopman, Dave Walker, and Jack Pang all had three hits. Great defense led by Rudy Gauer with a nice grab in right, Tom Hunter with a sticky glove ran fifty yards to snag another, and Jack Pang caught a liner for the first critical out in the seventh. Stubby pitched a good game and the Royals walked away with an 8-6 win - our first win of the year!
Fellow Masters beware! The Big Mo has shifted and the Royals will be a force to be reckoned with the rest of the season.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
Sometimes it's good to be a little stiff.
In a historic OMMSPL day, none of the teams played at their assigned diamonds. Morton arrived at Glen Ashton West to see the dedicated Oakville Parks crew discussing the mud dilemma. The crew decided to go to Millbank and try and get the West diamond playable. Meanwhile back at GA West, the teams set up a diamond on the grass, then reconsidered and were about to set up on the cricket pitch when Morton got a call from the Oakville works crew that Millbank was playable. Our fearless leader Tom Hunter hightailed it to Millbank and confirmed. The Rust Buckets and Hairs then moved over to Millbank West, which the Beards and Red guys had vacated to move to East. Meanwhile on GA E, the game was called due to wet conditions.
Warmup consisted of four throws and some half-hearted stretching. The Hairs roster was reinforced with returning icon Ian Schell. Rallying behind Ian the Hairs put together a good effort in game one with several solid plays in the field from Schell, Al "hit it hard at me" King and Mike "thank God I don't have to manage anymore" Boyle.
Boyle's new role seems to be focused on motivational one liners and he or Steve "sure I'll try 1st base" Craig are credited with "the little stiff" stimulating line.
Slick Brancier was 4 for 4 and Gord Shields was 3 for 3. Other than one shoddy defensive inning the Hairs held the Rustys at bay and won 12-3.
Game two saw the Hairs just miss turning a triple play. Hitting was inconsistent through the line up but the Hairs were tied at 6 in the 6th. Koop rallied his dysfunctional group with 2 in the bottom of the 6th to get their first win of the season.
Craig led the Hairs with 6 hits on the day.
With Boyle vacationing the next 3 weeks (aren't we all on permanent vacation?) the Hairs will need to find a new motivational orator.
Post game the Hairs continued their new tradition of breaking bread and swapping stories at the same table as their opponents. Pretty entertaining when Stubby is part of the group.
See ya next week.
MAY 15, 2025
Blue Pills Report - Rick Buchan
The shorthanded Blue Pills took both ends of a twin spin against the White Hairs in two closely-contested battles at sunny Millbank West. Pills took the opener 8-7 on a clutch bottom of the seventh single by Samuel Hsu to plate George Merrick with the winning run. Excitement ensued. Ron VanderMeulen pitched and got the win. Vince Pileggi, Geoff Coulson and Samuel led the hit parade with 3 each.
Game 2 saw the Pills score 5 in the top of the first and hold on for a 10-8 win with some stellar "D" from Tony Foscarin at rover and Pileggi in the outfield. Again, Ron V. was on the hill for the "W." Willi Thurner was 3/4 at the the dish.
White Hairs Report - Jeff Morton
And then there were 10. The Pills and Hairs both showed up with 10 willing participants on a fine Thursday morning at Millbank Park. The first game was a back and forth affair with good pitching, decent defense and the occasional solid rip. The Hairs shifted some guys around and fortunately got no additional injuries.
Missed scoring opportunities cost the Hairs in game one and the Pills somehow scratched a run together in the bottom of the 7th to win 8-7.
Game two saw the Pill boys erupt for 5 in the top of the first. The Hairs hung in, clawed away and took a 6-5 lead after 4. Alas the Pills got to 10 and won by 2.
Al King, Steve Craig and Gord Shields played well defensively for the Hairs. Flow Kemp pitched really well.
Offensively Morton had 4 doubles and 2 triples. Craig chipped in 5 hits including a triple, and Octogenearen Cummings, Kemp and Mark Palencher each had 4 hits.
Fine Wines Report - Dan Sanscartier
They say that fine wine improves with time. Of course, they also say that wine opened after its prime usually does not meet expectations. On the heels of sweeping both games in week 2, expectations were high to repeat our vintage performance in week 3. Unfortunately for us, in sweeping both games, the Red Faces team showed us that we needed to stay in the wine cellar a bit longer. Red Faces jumped out to an early lead in the first game and were never threatened in a 15-7 win over our squad. Ken Cullum made his league debut as a starting pitcher and pitched well but ran into some hard luck with a bunch of swinging bunts mixed in with some solid hitting throughout the order from our opponents.
In the second game our bats came alive early as we jumped out to an early 10-2 lead going into the bottom of the second. However, we forgot that we needed to play 7 innings and Red Faces chipped away at our lead as our bats went silent until the 6th inning. Heading into the bottom of the 7th with a one run lead (or two runs, depending on who was counting - somebody needs to tell our manager to double check the scores as the game progresses....or learn how to add) we couldn't hold on and lost 15-14 on a walk off hit.
As with last week, everyone contributed to our offense. Jeff Biren led the way with 6 hits in the double header. Randy (one eye) Heinbecker and Andy (marathon man) Kozei had 5 hits apiece and Kim Warren chipped in with 4 of his own including a booming standup (does anyone slide in our league?) double to right field. Barney (Bam Bam) Henderson had 3 hits and a walk and Al Stokes contributed a couple of key RBI.
However, the biggest hit of the day belonged to Bruce Locke when he was hip checked while running out a grounder. This was somehow fitting since we had just finished comparing old hockey injuries before the game. No word on our performance at Monaghans this week as even the writer of this material failed to make an appearance there.
Red Faces Report - Bill Craig
Well, they say adversity reveals character. If so, the Red Faces showed some character today. Having lost two roster players to injury and surgery (good news...that surgery on your shoulder you've been waiting for can go ahead because we've had a cancellation...bad news...it's happening right now as the softball season begins), the team put on their game Red Faces in a sweep of a good Fine Wines outfit.
The Faces started game one as the away team and threw 11 runs on the board in the first three innings. With an 11-5 edge after three, pitcher Denis Bosc (you know there's no good nickname you can apply to a guy named after a pear) proceeded to throw three straight scoreless innings, allowing the Facesters to finish off a 15-7 final score. We had hitting up and down the lineup and played solid defence (with one exception noted below). Four guys went 4 for 4 (Brock Paterson, Ken Baker, Richard Grudzinski, and Dario Pretto). Dario went single, double, triple to start this game but fell just short of the cycle.
The Wines are a strong team and came out like gangbusters (not sure what gang they wanted to bust up...Bloods? Cripps? Jets? Sharks?), maxing out for 10 runs in the first 2 innings. Down 10-2 after one and a half innings, the Faces gamely chipped away. Pitcher Rick Halik proceeded to paint corners and held the Wines to only 4 more runs. Down one run in the bottom of the seventh, the Faces scored two, highlighted by a massive shot to the wall in left field by Ken Baker (alas, Ken was using a pinch runner who had to stop at first). The final score was 15-14 in a well played game by both teams. Again, the hitting was up and down the lineup. Richard Grudzinski finished off an 8 for 8 day and the defence was solid.
Funny dumb play of the day...by our shortstop...who shall remain nameless. One out, runners at first and third...ball hit to his left taking him right towards the bag at second base...field it, step on the bag and throw to first for an inning ending double-play...or...field it, decide to make a 4 foot flip to an unsuspecting team mate at the bag...and flip it over his head for an error and a couple of unearned runs. Proving that it is hard to play shortstop with your head up your...anyway...two good games against a good team on a great weather day!
Grey Beards Report - Jim Fenner
On a glorious afternoon where knees creaked louder than the umpire’s calls, the mighty Grey Beards squared off against the relentless Rusty Royals in a double-header showdown for senior men’s slopitch supremacy. The smell of liniment filled the air, and an impressive crowd of spouses, grandkids, and a few curious squirrels gathered to witness a spectacle where reflexes may have slowed, but competitive fire burned ever bright.
Game 1: The Grey Beards Lay Down the Law
From the very first pitch, the Grey Beards established their dominance, holding the Rusty Royals off the scoreboard for three straight innings—an achievement made more impressive by the fact that several fielders had to squint through bifocals to track the ball. Kirk “The Wall” Macdonald put on a catching clinic, recording two outs with a determination rarely seen outside a discount sock sale. Meanwhile, Dan “Air Cooper” showed that age is just a number, making two gravity-defying catches in left field that left some wondering if he’d been secretly training with the local circus. The Rusty Royals, true to their name, looked a little… well, rusty. Their bats produced more foul
balls than a toddler with a plate of spaghetti, and their base running resembled an interpretive dance more than a strategic effort. By the final inning, the Grey Beards sealed the deal with a commanding 16-9 victory, no doubt celebrating with a round of ibuprofen and possibly a celebratory ice pack or two.
Game 2: The Royals Remember They’re Royal
Determined not to let history repeat itself, the Rusty Royals emerged in Game 2 with bats blazing, sending line drives whizzing through the air like misguided pigeons. However, the Grey Beards’ defense was a fortress of wisdom, experience, and perhaps a little luck. They held the Royals to just one run over three innings and blanked them twice more in the first five. Kirk Macdonald—now unofficially dubbed "Super Spare"—decided the best way to silence the Royals was to personally deposit two balls into the stratosphere with a pair of towering home runs. But perhaps the most legendary moment came when RF Jim “Golden Arm” Fenner sent a laser beam to 1B Steve “Steady Hands” Moses, who relayed it with textbook precision to catcher Larry “Iron Grip” Young. The result? A throw-out at home that spanned a combined 224 years of experience—a play so awe-inspiring that younger generations may need it retold in bedtime stories.
In the end, the Grey Beards walked away with a hard-earned 9-6 victory in Game 2, proving that cunning, skill, and well-timed naps remain the winning formula for senior slopitch domination. As the teams exchanged handshakes (and probably chiropractor recommendations), it was clear that the real prize wasn’t just victory—it was the camaraderie, the joy, and the undeniable fact that age is merely a number… especially when you play with the heart of a champion.
Now, who’s up for a post-game brew and a discussion about knee replacements?
Rusty Royals Report - John Koopman
It would please me mightily to tell you all how the underdog but plucky Rusty Royals overcame a talent deficit to defeat the might Grey Beards. Alas, the man in orange may have his facts, but we do not. The Rusty Royals dropped two to the hard-hitting Greybeards. The Rusty Royals put up four runs in the first inning, but thereafter were only able to add five more over the last six innings. The Royals had no true heroes, but Bill Manson came closest, going three for three, with a double, and scoring three runs in game one. Tony Soprano (Fratia) also had three hits in game one, but his teammates brought him home only once. Pitcher Bill Stubbins says that if we had given him decent defence, he could have shut-out the Grey Beards. We did not give him that defence. In game two, six different Rusty Royals crossed the plane; once was enough for each. Manson again hit safely three times, this time supported by Dave "Otis" Walker who also hit safely thrice. Defeat has not (yet) killed optimism in the Royal squad. As they say, "hope springs eternal" or maybe better yet, "there is no crying in baseball". The Royals will notch a victory in the new week, I promise.
Game Reports - May 8, 2025
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
Well, it was another underwhelming performance for the Fine Wines crew. Sure they won both games (10-9 and 15-9) against Koop's Rusty Royals to even their season record at 2-2 but once again they were an anemic 3 for 11 in attendance at Monaghan's. This was a slight improvement over last week's 3 for 12 effort. Rumour on the street is that the staff at Monaghan's have started a Gofundme page to help offset the lost revenue.
As for the lower priority items - down two players on a very chilly morning - it was a true team effort over both games as every player drove in at least one run and had multiple hits, and the defense was solid all around. Mike Canham led the way with 5 RBI and some crafty work while pitching two complete games and Kim Warren made some fine catches in left field and, more importantly, the two of them had no trouble finding the bar after the games.
Tony Lima survived a barrage of missiles at the hot corner and Jeff Biren - in his season debut - and Ed Lincz shone on both sides of the ball as they - along with sub Mark (Randy who?) Dreschel invoked memories of Tinkers to Evers to Chance. Not to be outshone, Andy Kozai completed the full marathon in 65 foot segments and at one point may even have pinch run for the Rusty Royals.
Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman
Character is built upon adversity. Easy wins lead only to decadence and decay. The Rusty Royals built much character Thursday as they dropped two games to the previously winless Fine Wines. In game one your Rusty Royals scored 9, and in game two 7. In each case decadence and decay scored more. Darrell Northcott apparently has enough character already as he went 6 for 8 with two doubles and a triple. The rest us though are left hoping that character can one day be monetized, as our baseball skills never will be. The Rusty Royals will be back in week three and might yet pull out a New York Met 1969 type season.... hope springs eternal within the human breast...
Blue Pills Report – Greg Aubert
Under less than ideal temps, the Blue Pills hosted the Red Faces and once again got off to a great start scoring 5 runs in the 1st inning, mirroring the run production that the Reds tallied to start the game. The Pills clung to a 6 to 5 lead after 4 innings as both teams struggled offensively. The Reds exploded for another 5-run mercy in the 5th and coasted to a 12 to 7 victory. Notable accomplishments for the Pills included a Mike Way inside the park homer which saw him scoring right on the heels of the lead runner. Strong hitting performances included Ben Roczniak (3/3), Vince Pileggi (2/3), Geoff Coulson (2/3) and Greg Aubert (2/3).
Game 2 featured a strong pitching performance by Ron VanderMeulen and a balanced attack by the Pills batters who collectively batted .564 in Game 2 vs .424 in Game 1. The Pills scored in 5 of the 7 innings, including two 5-run tallies. The Pills’ defence was also sharp and held the Reds to a total of just 3 runs. Both Mike Way and Vince Pileggi made great running catches and the infield, led by several nice plays by Vince Moffat, recorded many timely outs. The combination of good pitching coupled with excellent defence and timely hitting produced a well earned 14 to 3 victory for the Pills. Hitting stars in Game 2 included Geoff Coulson, Tony Foscarin, Ron VanderMeulin and George Merrick who had 3 hits each.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
The Hairs took the field against the Grey Beards minus 4 of Hair's regulars. The Beards also had a spare and their former manager Chappy was in attendance.
Game one was loosely played, with the Beards scoring 19 in the first 4 innings. The Hairs dug in and pushed the game to 7 innings. Lots of runs with Beardies winning 20-15.
Between games it was time to regroup. Manager Morton sought input and made several defensive changes before and during game 2. Mike "I would never play there if I was manager" Boyle made his lifetime debut at 1st. Now in defense of Hairs management, Mike was asked if he could play 1st. Being a positive guy, Mike said sure. The first batter hit a hard one-hopper to Mike. Mike took it in the jewels and made the out at first. Suffice it to say Mike will now be known as Ding Dong.
Game 2 was closer and the Hairs hung in and played better D. Stand in pitcher Steve Craig filled in admirably. Infielders became outfielders and outfielders became infielders.
Nicknames are only usually applied to the Hairs. Grey guy Palmer was labeled "statue" and "isthatyou" as he twice got to 3rd and stayed there watching the Hairs make some infield outs. Unfortunately Jeff took a batted ball off the wrist in the 7th and left to take care of himself.
The Hairs batted to trail by one in the bottom of the 7th. Hopalong Habnot King got his 6th hit and hobbled to first. Slick pinch ran and Morton got a hold of one for an inside the park 2 run home run to finally put the Hairs in front for the 13-12 win.
Offensively Habnot, Chris Barrett and Morton had 6 hits. Al, the other King and Rick Cummings contributed 4.
Let's go Leafs!
Grey Beards Report – Frank Sturm
Do you remember Mike and Mike’s cross country adventure show? What a memorable show. In today’s world, it would be called an “influencers” show. Unbeknownst to this reporter the Beards have three pairs of players on their roster. There is Jeff and Jeff, Steve and Steve and Rob and Rob. What other team can make such a claim to fame? They all influenced the games in their own paired style. Starting with Rob & Rob’s cross diamond adventure. It was rather uneventful as one Rob was absent. Steve and Steve’s diamond adventure was classic Ying and Yang. Steve I went 3/3 in game 1 and 1/4 in game 2. Steve M went 0/3 in game 1 and rallied back with 3/4 in game 2. They added symmetry to the day.
Jeff and Jeff’s diamond adventure was a reckoning of batting power, each contributing big hits and multiple rbi’s. However, with such power can sometimes come consequences. The 7th inning in game 2 saw Jeff hit a screaming line drive down the first base line, accidentally hitting the other Jeff squarely on the hand. Doctors have reportedly scheduled a Monday morning medical report. Further, the outcome of that event diminished the Beards’ late game rally which the Hairs quickly replied to with their own bats. Oh, the monumental shifts of baseball!
Notables are: Frank “silver fox” Sturm going 6/7 and crossing home 5 times, Donny “why can’t I spell his last name” Yaschyshyn going 4/7 and scoring 3 times, and Jeff Palmer going 6/7 and cruising through home 3 times. Kudos to super spare Kirk Macdonald for many rbi’s and some great defensive plays.
Overall, the Beards must hold their heads high as they piled up 32 runs for the day and got their first win. Spring training is now concluded.
Red Faces Report – Brian Mastervick
As the visiting team the Red Faces were pumped up and ready to go, scoring 5 runs in the top of the 1st. Rookie Denny Bosc led off with a double, and a few batters later Dario Pretto stroked a triple. All the chatter in the dugout seemed to distract our whole team as we quietly failed to add any more runs until the 5th. Rookie Dan Scott decided to get things rolling again which inspired the bottom of the order to follow his lead. The next six batters all hit solid shots and scored. Rookie Linus O'Neill doubled, followed by the veterans Brock Paterson (who was smashing the ball like he was 60 again), Rick Halik and Drew Martin, who both added singles. Into the 6th we go thinking now we are firing on all cylinders, but without any spark we once again came up empty. Top of the 7th and the bottom of the order wanted a couple of insurance runs. Rick H and Drew both contributed again and came around to score 2 extra runs.
After a quick rest we were strutting around ready to take another W in Game 2. Unfortunately all that strutting around must have depleted our energy reserves as we failed to provide much of anything positive to this game. Give credit where it is due, and that is to the Blue Pills. They hit the ball hard, over us or down the line. We simply had no answer.
My question to the Blue Pills is "do those little blue pills make that much of a difference, and where do we get them?" Congrats to the power of the pills, leaving us red-faced once again.
MAY 1, 2025
Red Faces Report – Brian Mastervick
and sweet, (just like this report).
The Red Faces’ recipe for thThursday’s home opener was short e game was to start with a solid base of seasoned returning players, mix in with some fresh rookies. Stir in healthy solid hitting with some timely power and speed. Finish this off with a sprinkling of defensive gems.
(I would include the names of the outstanding players, but first I need to learn their names.)
In the end the Red Faces were able to pull out the win in a see-saw battle.
Game 2 started strong for the Faces but Mother Nature won that one.
Rusty Royals Report – Tom Hunter
The cold wind howling through Millbank West made it difficult to hear the impassioned pre-game speech which manager John Koopman had meticulously practised all night. Something about hitting the cutoff man and infielders being “tourists”, although due to the unrelenting gale it was unclear whether that was a positive or negative. Also, John mentioned some random statistic about the number of championships claimed by the Rusty Royals since the inception of the league being equivalent to the number of Stanley Cups won by the Leafs since 1967, with a plea to change the script this year.
Thus inspired, the 2025 Rusty Royals promptly lost game one.
However, the team shows promise. The infield defence was solid, including catcher Rudy Gauer demonstrating great range and concentration to catch a popup, first baseman Jonathan Kamin’s leaping snap of a scorching liner, and Bill Manson’s dive to recover a low throw and somehow record the out at second base. The outfielders received a passing grade, despite allowing the Red Faces to score 4 inside-the-park home runs in a single game, which might be an OMMSPL record. Manager Koopman will no doubt spend the week in the video room to determine how the hell that happened.
The offensive contributions were spread throughout the lineup - 5 Royals went 3-4 or better and 5 Royals went 2-4, including an IPHR by Bill Manson.
The game was a see-saw battle. Down 3-0 after the first inning the Royals roared back to grab a 4-3 lead after the second inning. Throughout the remaining innings the teams took turns showing off their offensive powers, with the differential never exceeding one run. Alas, the Royals were unable to overcome a measly one-run deficit in the final frame, losing by a respectable score of 14-13.
During the final inning of game one some of the more observant players noticed a few sprinkles of what was assumed to be a passing shower. It wasn’t. After a managerial conference it was decided to start game two immediately using a 1-1 count. Game two lasted ½ inning, as the sprinkles became a steady, biting rain. With visions of hot showers the teams happily abandoned the field to the elements.
Blue Pills Report – Greg Aubert
The anticipation and excitement leading up to opening day became subdued significantly upon arrival at the park and faced with unseasonably chilly weather. However, both teams shrugged off the less than favourable conditions and played a solid game. The Blue Pills in particular started the game in mid-season form registering 5 runs in the top of the 1st inning. They added a further 2 runs in the 3rd and another 5 in the 4th inning. Meanwhile, they held the Beardies to 2 runs over that same period. The Pills managed another 3 runs in the 6th but were blanked in the 7th. The Beardies’ bats came alive in the last 3 innings. With 2 outs, they brought the tying run to the plate in the bottom of the 7th but Pills pitcher Ron VanderMeulen induced a groundout to end the threat and preserve the 15 to 11 victory.
Hitting heroes for the Pills included Geoff Coulson (4/4 with 2 triples & 2 doubles), Vince Pileggi (3/3 with a sac fly), Mike Way (3/4), Ben Roczniak (3/4), Ron VanderMeulen (2/3) and Greg Aubert (2/3).
Grey Beards Report – Frank Sturm
Hot, wet and wild.
Well maybe not hot and maybe not wild but wet for sure. Wet enough to cause a game 2 cancellation. Our game started late due to lack of an umpire. The Beards found th emselves down early in the game thanks to the great hitting of the Pills. As the game wore on and the skies grew darker, the Beards fought their way back. But unfortunately, we ran out of innings. Post game at the bar brought up some lively discussions about new strategies that are going to have the Beards bounce back.
Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier
The Fine Wines ownership group opened up their wallets during the off season - bringing in the Jays’ high priced management team, data analysts and hitting coach - and the results were .... unsurprising. Good defense and pitching and not a lot of offense.
The day, much like the weather, began ominously enough with the White Hairs jumping out to an early 8-1 lead after two innings.
After that the Fine Wines defense settled down and held them to 3 runs the rest of the first game and actually outscored the White Hairs 13 to 12 over the last 12 innings of the doubleheader yet somehow managed to come away empty-handed, losing 11-6 and 9-8.
Mike Canham (5 for 5 with a walk), Bruce Locke (4 hits, 4 RBI), Andy Kozai (4 hits) and Randy Heinbecker accounted for 19 of the 29 total hits for the Wines over the two games. Randy finished with 6 hits - 3 of them for extra bases. Future opponents should consider saving time and energy and just putting him on second base each time. The turning point in game two was when our team manager - who shall remain nameless even though his name appears on this summary - took the bat out of Barney "Bam-Bam" Henderson's hands with the tying run in scoring position by getting a running start halfway to third before the pitch hit the dirt. Apparently this is frowned upon and well, illegal. The Pinot gallery was not impressed.
Things are looking up for next week now that spring training holdout and starting shortstop Jeff (btw, you're our starting shortstop) Biren will make his season debut after signing a new contract worth three times his previous one.
White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton
The White Hairs Baker’s Dozen arrived at the nicely groomed Glenashton East diamond anxious to begin the 2025 season. Three rookies - Bill Habnot King, Mark Palencher and John Locks Kemp joined the Hairs with eager anticipation.
The Hairs' opponent was Rookie Manager Dan Sanscartier and his Fine Wines crew. The Wines first three hitters reached safely with one scoring. With no -one out yet (for the season) The Hairs turned an unorthodox 2 getting an out at 2nd and after a fine throw from Chris Barrett, a 2nd out at home.
The bottom of the first saw the Hairs answer quickly, but at a price. Mark Slick Brancier led off with a single and scored on Habnot's double. Unfortunately, Bill pulled a quad going from 1st to 2nd and Slick hobbled around the bases on a bum ankle. Here we were, at the bottom of the first inning and the Hairs two speedy outfielders and one-two hitters were both on the limp.
After Morton got out in the 1st, the Hairs had 6 consecutive hits to put up 5. The Hairs put up another 3 in the 2nd and 3 more in the bottom of the 6th to win 12-6.
The 2nd game started during a light rain. Clearly we were playing in a different weather system than the other teams. Leading 6-1 after 4, the Hairs D was just good enough to hang on for the win 8-7. What was the difference? The Hairs taking off their jackets in the 7th well after the rain stopped? - naw. Two differences were the steady D lead by Rookie Pitcher Locks Kemp and returning octogenarian Rick Cummings. Rick made all three outs in the bottom of the 7th to preserve the win.
Hitting highlights included Slick Brancier, Cummings and Locks with 5 hits, Barrett with 4 and an awesome rolling tackle/block at first base and a HR by Morton.
It's hard to be first to the bar when you play two games and the other teams only play one. Perhaps our new goal should be "last to leave Monaghans". We're one for one against the new goal!
