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Game Results July 31

FINE WINES	12	GREYBEARDS	9
FINE WINES	16	GREYBEARDS	13
WHITE HAIRS	17	RED FACES	9
WHITE HAIRS	13	RED FACES	12
RUSTY ROYALS	15	BLUE PILLS	11
BLUE PILLS	6	RUSTY ROYALS	0

**Click on standings for further details

July 31, 2025

Rusty Royals Report – John Koopman

It was the best times

It was the worst of times

It was the spring of hope

It was the winter of despair

Game One was the best of times for the Royals. We opened with two runs in the first and followed up with five in the second, two in the third, four in the fourth and singletons in fifth and sixth. Tommy Hunter was 3-4 in the pressure packed lead-off spot, and scored three while still driving in two. Big stick Darrell Northcott, batting tenth due to an administrative miscue, was 3-3 with two runs scored and two RBI. Royal Kaiman, Charles Manson, Dave Walker, Soprano Fratia, Jack Pang, Rudy Grover and John Koopman all had two hits. [Ed. Note – Koop hit a triple to clear the bases, but he's too humble to include that in his game report. It’s worth mentioning as it may not happen again this season, if ever.] So we had lots of offensive firepower, but the game’s hero was Rudy Gauer who made seven or eight caches in right field. The last one to win the game with the tying run at the plate and lots of Blue Pills on the bases was a shoestring catch that left even the Blue Pills awestruck.

Winter follows summer and good times do not last. In the second game Manson pitched great and allowed only six runs. Regrettably the Blue Pills let in none. With the notable exception of Jack Pang who was on fire all day (3-3 in this second game) the rest of us failed to show up. Seven of us were held hitless. No runs does a not win a lot of slo-pitch games...

What is in store next week for the Royals? Over the following week we will focus on Hemingway's masterpiece: "The Sun Also Rises".

Blue Pills Report – Rick Buchan

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times for the Blue Pills against the Rusty Royals on the final day of July, 2025. The worst of times came in game one as the Pills fired blanks for the first four innings and the Rusty hitters cruised to a 13-1 lead. As the word "mercy" was bandied around the dugouts, the Pills' offence finally kicked in with 10 runs in the final 3 frames. All for naught as the Royals won 15-11.

The best of times occurred in game two as pitcher George Merrick and a stingy Pills' "D" blanked the Royals 6-0 for a rare OMMSPL shutout. One highlight was getting out of a bases-loaded jam with none out early on. With the injured Samuel Hsu cheering on the good guys, Pills chipped away and plated 6 runs. Mike Way had 3 clutch RBIs and Willi Thurner legged out a memorable triple only to be stranded at third. George shut the door and some of us limped to the Pump patio where the pints were smooth and food adequate.

[Ed. Note – astute readers may notice that both above game reports use the “best of times, worst of times” concept. That’s a complete coincidence, unless both authors used ChatGPT. In fact, it’s also possible that ChatGPT is responsible for this editorial note, but who would ever know?]

White Hairs Report – Jeff Morton

The Hairs’ full 12 man roster showed up at Glenashton East in cooler temperatures and with no traffic. Both teams recognized the importance of the games as the pennant was on the line. As the visitors, the Hairs put up a 2-spot in the 1st and then solid D held the Faces scoreless in the bottom of the inning. Following inning 2 the Faces led by 3. The Hairs responded with 10 runs in the next two innings and put together a tidy 17-9 win.

Between games the Hairs discussed having possibly clinched the pennant. Hairs responded with a 7-0 lead after two. One player observed that the Faces looked defeated. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. The Reds put up 12 runs in the next 5 innings and the Hairs went into the bottom of the 7th down 12-8. As this wasn't our first time being down in the last at-bats, the lads kept their composure with the 3 first batters reaching base. Slick Brancier scored on a fielder's choice. Silent Steve Craig smacked a double, scoring one more and leaving the Hairs down 2 with runners on 2nd and 3rd. The Faces’ analytics team intentionally walked go ahead run Octogenarian Cummings to load the bases. Mark Mark Palencher tied the game up with a hit and then with 1st open, the Faces intentionally walked Magic Mike Boyle to load them up again and bring Easy Ian Schell to the plate. Schell delivered a clean single and the Hairs walked it off to win 13-12.

The Hairs hit well on the day with all but one getting at least four hits. Defense was solid for the most part and Slick celebrated achieving a fielding average at some point in game two. Chip Barrett, Magic, Silent and big Dave Brinton all contributed with great defensive plays.

Once again, arriving last at the Pump, 7 of the Hairs shared a table with the Wines while 3 others shared a table with the Royals. Having recently returned from a Blue Nose vacation in Halifax, the attempted "Sociable" cheer was a bit of a lame duck with few others joining in.

Red Faces Report – Bill Craig

As Sonny and Cher so eloquently put it...the Beat Goes On...and unfortunately, the losing beat went on for the Red Faces who lost both to a very good White Hairs squad by scores of 17-9 and 13-12.

Game one started well for the Faces, up 5-2 after 2 innings. But the Hairs kept up a relentless attack and solid defence (I think they turned 2 double-plays) and put 17 on the board to win convincingly. They were good on both sides of the ball and we were not great at the plate or in the field. Kudos to pitcher Rick Halik who threw a good game and along with Donnie Ballgame Brown led our attack with three hits.

Game two was the opposite. The Hairs came out as if their white hairs were on fire and quickly went up 7-0. But the Faces’ bats and gloves came to life and we went to the bottom of the 7th up 12-8. But the Hairs would not be stopped, stringing together a number of sharply hit balls to score five and walk away with the win. Don and Brock Paterson hit well and Ken Baker hit his second triple of the day in a losing cause.

There weren't any particularly funny plays that come to mind, but I am, apparently, contractually obligated to describe the hours-long conversation about Dan Scott's hips. I have to confess that I came into the middle of the conversation, so I don't know the origin. Benefit of the doubt, I'll suggest that we started talking about his hips because there was a slight hip injury? I can't contemplate any other reason to do so. In the end, it was agreed that Dan could be described as having "Dancer’s hips". Which you'd have to admit is better than being described as having "Child-Bearing" hips...or any other kind of hips. So there you have it. Can't wait to see whose body we talk about next week.

Fine Wines Report – Dan Sanscartier

What a week this was. With all the buzz heading into the trade deadline the Fine Wines’ ownership decided to go the Stand Pat Gillick route and not make any trades. So far it turns out to be a sound strategy as not only did we win two close games (16-13 and 12-9) against the undermanned Grey Beards, we also routed the White Hairs by arriving at the Pump & Patio well ahead of them. Not only did this give us better seats it also gave us a chance to discuss our game summary strategy. It was agreed that only the attendees would get mentioned in our weekly recap. So no, we're not going to mention Randy Heinbecker's 6 for 7, 5 runs scored and 8 RBI performance. Nor are we going to give credit to Al Stokes for his blazing fast triple amongst his 4 hits on the day. Bruce Locke and Ed Lincz each with 5 hits? Not a word. We won't even talk about supersub Joe Garcia who made a couple of fine running catches and chipped in a couple of key hits. Hopefully this will be a lesson for the aforenotmentioned players.

We will however, mention Steve DeVoe's impression of Todd Stottlemyre's infamous chin first slide in the '93 World Series (along with some fine defense). Barny "Elbows Up" Henderson? Absolutely. Not only did he get on base 5 times he also scored 4 runs and, more importantly, kept Chuck Brown (our right center fielder) out of his way. Tony (don't hit the ball to me) Lima, who in spite of his desire to not get any balls hit to him, did, and had a solid day at the hot corner. Andy Kozai, aside from thinking this was the Euro Cup on one play, had his usual strong day including a ton of great baserunning. Ken Cullum, playing in spite of an undisclosed lower body injury, pitched very well in both games. There's no truth to the rumour that our team has sent regular starting pitcher Mike Canham directions to a field in Hamilton for our next games. Maybe…

Grey Beards Report – Steve Isaacs

Location: Millcroft | Weather: Finally not 40+ - a perfect day to play

Game One - Final Score: Fine Wines 16, Grey Beards 13

The highly anticipated match between the Grey Beards and the Fine Wines kicked off with a bang and ended with a whimper — specifically, the sound of gloves missing balls and egos bruising softly in the outfield. Despite missing several key players (presumably out for “rest and recovery,” knee icing, or in one case, a suspiciously long fishing trip), the Grey Beards came out swinging like it was 1998. They scored 5 runs in the first inning, looking less like an aging roster and more like a time machine full of All-Stars.

But alas, this is team sport, and the Beards — true to their name and their philosophy — refused to pad stats while their injured brothers were sidelined. The bats stayed hot, racking up 13 total runs — which, in most recreational baseball circles, should be enough to trigger a mercy rule or at least early beer. But some untimely bobbles and drops allowed the Wines to score every inning, coming away with the win.

Game Two - Final Score: Fine Wines 12, Grey Beards 9

Game 2 of the battle between the distinguished Grey Beards and the fermented finesse of the Fine Wines started out as a tight, low-scoring affair. After four innings, the Wines led 3-2, and both teams looked like they were more interested in getting to the pub before the White Hairs than crossing home plate. But then came the final inning — the kind of inning that makes managers age 5 years and therapists book follow-ups. The Beards, clearly hoping for a comeback, instead watched in horror as the Wines poured out 6 runs like a discounted Merlot on Wing Night. Final score: 12-9 for the Wines.

The Beards disagreed with a few of the umpire’s calls [Ed. Note - the first time in the history of slo-pitch] but the Wines' camp insists they simply played “fundamentally sound slo-pitch.” And to be fair, they did put together two very strong performances. The Beards, ever gracious (and possibly still confused about the count), tip their hats.