Hello faithful readers!  It's Harry Mann, back from covering the Olympics in Rio and ready to cover the exciting action at Darlington Sports Park and specifically, the phenomenal team known as Team Simms!  I was busy last Sunday covering da Olympics but better late than never!  Team Simms lost both games by close margins last weekend but came out on top in both games today to even their season record to 2-2!  The first game started out slow, with the score a whopping 2-2 after 4 innings with Tommy and Michelle providing all of the offense. But the bats got hot late and Team Simms dropped the hammer on those chumps that dared cross Team Simms' path!  It was such a beatdown that the chumpmonkeys known as the Other team decided not to even hit in the bottom of the 7th!  They conceited that they sucked and decided to move on to game 2. Game 1 saw some great pitching by Tommy Stevens and great work at shortstop by Kyle Longest. Coach Jay Simms injured both quads attempting to run a 2.5 second 40 yard dash to 1st base.  What a dope!!  But luckily he was able to continue playing and Assistant Coach Curt Simms ran in place of Usain Bolt as much as he could. 

Game 2 started out with the Other team scoring a quick 4 runs in the top of the 1st inning. But that would be all of the runs Team Simms would give up in Game 2. Team Simms came out in the bottom of the first inning on fire!!  Seriously, someone called the fire department I heard because they were roasting the softball all over the field. Team Simms scored 10 runs in the first inning and cruised to a 19-4 beatdown. The game was called after 3 1/2 innings due to the run rule. One interesting note from Game 2 was the lack of ability by the opposing teams left fielder. I caught up with him after the game for a few questions:

Harry Mann:  Tough loss again huh?  So I noticed you made the interesting choice of cowering with your head hidden behind your arms instead of trying to catch balls hit behind you. Care to elaborate on that strategy?

Left fielder who sucks:  Who are you?

HM:  I'm a worldclass reporter...answer the question!

LFWS:  Well those guys were hitting the ball so hard that I was scared.  So I chose to protect my face. 

HM: How scared were you?

LFWS:  I...I pee'd myself a little. I mean, that one guy hit a HR!  Those guys were animals man!!  

HM:  Thanks for the time...good luck with the rest of the season. Hopefully nobody else hits any balls your way so you aren't so scared. 

LFWS:  Yeah I hope so too. Playing in soiled underwear sucks. 

HM:  I wouldn't know. 

LFWS:  (lowers head in shame)

Some other highlights from the games:

• Maddie made an awesome catch in left center field on a really hard hit ball by a guy. Well done!

• Tommy ran over his wife (who was playing third base) in order to catch a pop up. That guy is sleeping on the couch tonight!! Well he made the play so great job!

•Right center fielder got caught looking at his massive biceps and slighty missed a fly ball. It was a tough play though and he could easily kick my ass so I'm not saying anything else other than great effort Brandon!

•The women put on a hitting display today...great job ladies!  Team Simms couldn't be stopped due to you ladies hitting the cover off the ball!

•Due to Jay's lack of mobility, Tommy had to cover first on anything hit to the right side. On one particular play Jay stopped a grounder (no easy feat for that guy let me tell ya!) abd made a picture perfect toss to a hustling Tommy who made the out. People were overheard saying they should made a video on how to make the play...it was truly picturesque!

Well that about wraps it up for this week!  Team Simms is off until September 18th due to Labor Day and then a bye week.  Until then, stay safe and keep it real everyone!  I think I will call all of my numerous fans (oh yeah I have tons!) Mannerites!  Sounds catchy. So I'll see my Mannerites in a few weeks!  

Hello my fellow Mannerites!  Harry Mann here, back from taking a well deserved week off.  I heard from my reliable sources that Team Simms (TS) destroyed Team Zilla last week.  Well, the first opponent for TS was that very same team.  And wow was it ugly!  This eagle eyed, 4 time Nobel Prize winning reporter knew it was going to be a long game for Zilla and crew when their leadoff hitter struck out swinging on consecutive pitches (good job Brett!!).  The girls for TS continued to absolutely smash the ball, starting with Christy and Maddie and Michelle.  Jayden has shown great improvement every game and was getting base hits as well.  Big thanks to Holly and Robbie for filling in for TS...Coach Jay was very thankful they stepped up and played.  Game 1 was a run ruled beatdown, with TS winning 26-0.  Just...WOW!  These guys are amazing!  They used the usual formula of Jay and Christy getting on base so that Brandon rakes up the RBIs, followed by Michelle and Kyle and Curt knocking everyone else in as well.  Just a total team effort out there. 

Game 2 started out with Coach Jay deciding to walk some people, which allowed the other team (Team Swine I believe is their team name...very applicable) scoring a run or two.  Once TS got their turn to bat though it was game over.  TS was killing the ball so much that the other team started whining like little beeyotches.  They thought TS was purposely hitting the ball at the 60 year old grandma they had playing in right field.  So they decided to put guys in right and center and leave left field to a younger girl to cover.  Great call by their coach!  She proceeded to get get roasted worse than turkey on Thanksgiving Day.  Needless to say, Team Swine sucked.  Speaking of sucking, the umpire of game two was not very good.  This hard hitting reporter caught up with the umpire after the game for a quick interview:

Harry Mann:  Hey ump, do you have time for a quick interview?

Sucky Umpire:  Ball.

HM:  Um, what?

SU:  Oh, sorry, when I don't know what's going on I just say ball.  Bad habit I guess huh?

HM:  Yeah, I'd have to agree.  So it seemed you pretty much had no clue what was going on during the game.  All aspects of the umpire gig seemed to be too much for you.  For example, when you let both teams leave the field even though you knew there were only two outs.  Team Simms had to let you know before you said anything.  What was up with that?

SU:  Well, I wasn't sure if anyone would notice.  Including myself...I didn't actually know that it was only two outs.  I just acted like I knew.  Slick huh??

HM:  Oh yeah real slick!  What about the fact you didn't know this league had a run rule?  Team Simms once again had to let you know the game was over due to the run rule.

SU:  That confused me...I thought the rules said runs were important.  So I didn't know you could be run ruled since runs are so important.

HM:  Man oh man, you are a short bus special for sure.  What about that pitch that hit right behind the plate on a perfect arc and you called a ball?

SU:  I just wasn't paying attention honestly.  In my defense, the guy who runs the league didn't really tell me what my job duties entailed.  I was just sorta winging it!  I thought I did a good job though!

HM:  You definitely didn't!  Maybe try to pay attention more next time you umpire, and work on figuring out what a ball and a strike is...just some friendly advice!

SU:  Ball?

Team Simms won 22-1 (or 2...who knows, the umpire certainly didn't!).  TS plays this same team next weekend, which is a makeup from the first week of the season when the games were rained out.  TS is 6-2 on the year, and will surely be 8-2 after next weekend.  Until then, everyone have a great week, and remember, get your pets spade or neutered or whatever.  Later!

Hello faithful readers, it's Harry Mann here to provide my Mannerites with the results of the season ending round robin tournament that was held today in Darlington, Indiana.  It was a beautiful day for softball!  The sun was shining, the sky was clear, the birds were chirping, and Team Simms were winning more than they were losing.  Team Simms finished the tournament 3-1, good for 2nd place out of 5 teams.  Here is a recap of the tournament:

Game 1:  Team Simms loses 11-9 in extra innings

Unfortunately the week off for TS appeared to show as the bats were cold.  The opponent, Team YFZuYETFje or whatever they call themselves, were the stiffest competition for TS.  This was essentially the championship game of the tournament since neither TS nor Team sfjkshfisdfo would likely lose to the other 3 teams.  It was a nice, competitive game until the idiot playing 3rd place for the other team decided he had to run to second base and tackle Maddie as she ran to third.  He then proceeded to blame everyone but himself for thinking it was okay to tackle a girl who was just running to second and doing nothing wrong.  LUCKILY this reporter leaves no stone uncovered and caught up with him after the game for an interview:

Harry Mann:  Hey, you have a minute to do a quick interview?

Guy who dives at everything for no reason and feels like he must play every position in the infield on every play:  Oh sure no problem...hold on (dives for a drop of sweat from his ugly mug).

HM:  Wow you're redonk at the diving.  Why do you dive at everything when it isn't even needed or necessary?

GWDAEFNRAFLHMPEPITIOEP:  Well, I think it looks cool.  And I'm really valuable to the team and I have to earn their respect by diving at routine balls and then acting hurt after every single dive.  

HM:  I noticed you would field a ball at third and then sprint to second to make the force out...why not throw it to the second baseman that was standing there waiting for you to simply throw it to her?

GWDAEFNRAFLHMPEPITIOEP:  HA!!  Nobody is AS GOOD AS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HM:  That's not even true at all but anyway...you caused quite an uproar, understandably so, when you decided to once again sprint full speed from 3rd to 2nd and tackle Maddie as she tried to get to 2nd base.  You then proceeded to blame her by saying she has to slide.  You realize that is completely stupid and no such rule exists, right?

GWDAEFNRAFLHMPEPITIOEP:  (dives for his cell phone that is still in his hand)...well, she should have known I'm a dirt bag that can do nothing wrong.  She should have slid into second...it's a rule in my book.

HM:  Your book is wrong...and no such rule exists in any sport that you must slide into second base on a force out.  

GWDAEFNRAFLHMPEPITIOEP:  I tried making it right later but everyone seemed mad at me.  I just don't get it!  

HM:  Maybe calm it down a bit next time huh?  Everyone is just playing for some fun and friendly competition.

GWDAEFNRAFLHMPEPITIOEP:  Whatever brah.  I do what I do you know?  

HM:  You are truly a window licking moron.  

GWDAEFNRAFLHMPEPITIOEP:  (dives for his dignity...misses it of course)

Team Simms lost in the 9th inning on a 2 run home run.  Ninja Brandon Clore did his best to climb the fence and make the outrageously awesome catch but it was long gone.  Tough way to start the tournament, but this team never gives up!  

Game 1 MVP:  Brandon Clore - Brandon went 4-4 with 4 RBI and 3 runs scored.  He made a couple of nice catches in the outfield and threw out a guy at home plate.  

Game 2:  Game 2 was much more relaxed and fun, and TS won 10-6 in a surprisingly close game.  The bats were still frosty but TS did just enough to beat Team Zilla.  Again.  Some hilarious moments occurred when Zilla kept overthrowing Scott and he couldn't locate the ball.  Those guys!!  TS improved their tournament record to 1-1.  Tommy did a great job pitching, and overall great team defense kept TS in the game.

Game 2 MVP:  Brandon Clore - Brandon went 2-3 with a sac fly.  He had 4 RBI and 2 runs scored, including another HR, his second of the tournament.

Game 3:  Team Simms improved to 2-1 by beating The Other Team 14-3 in 5 innings by run rule.  TS was red hot to begin the game, with leadoff man Jay "coach" Simms getting an inside the park HR.  The next 4 batters all got hits and came around to score, with TS putting up 5 runs in the first.  Michelle continued to scorch the ball, going 2-2 with a walk and 2 runs scored and an RBI.  Despite just playing with 9 in the field TS proved they are the bosses that you don't want to mess with!  Holla!  Brandon hit his 3rd HR of the tourney as well.  In his only at bat this game, Tommy got a clutch 3 RBI hit as well and ended up scoring.  He "dropped the mic" and told coach he's done for the game because he did his part.  In this reporter's opinion, the man was right...rest easy Tommy, you deserved it.

Game 3 MVP:  Jay Simms - Jay went 3-4 with 4 RBI and 1 run scored, including a HR.  Jay did a great job pitching in this unbiased reporter's opinion.  He threw out a number of people at 1st as well, fielding his position well.

Game 4:  After an hour break, Team Simms played the final game of the season against Team Swine.  This was basically a brand spanking new team from the team they played a few weeks ago.  They picked up quite a few guys who could smash the ball.  BUT, it didn't matter because Team Simms was cookin' up a special treat for them...it was called watch Brandon hit 2 HRs and carry the offensive load.  Team Simms only had 9 in the field again, but it was no problem thanks to the great outfield play by Garrett and Curt.  Garrett made a number of tough catches in centerfield to limit the damage by the other teams big hitters. Garrett contributed offensively as well, going 4-4 with a run scored and 1 RBI.  Great overall game!!  Special shout out to Maddie, who showed true toughness by continuing to play, and playing well.  She went 3-4 with 3 runs scored and 2 RBIs, including a single, double, and triple. Team Simms won 11-8, finishing the tournament with a 3-1 record.  

Game 4 MVP:  Brandon Clore - Brandon hit 2 more HRs to finish the tournament with 5 HRs!  For the game he went 4-4 with 4 runs scored and 2 doubles in addition to the HRs.  Beast mode was in full form.  Tourney MVP goes to Brandon as well...nice job slugger!

Well, that wraps up this summary of today's action.  It was an absolutely beautiful day for softball, and coach Jay was quoted as saying he couldn't have been prouder of the team and was thankful to everyone who played.  He said he truly appreciates everyone showing up each week and making things easier for him!  This reporter is not done yet...I will be back later this week with the end of the year awards.  Stay tuned!